Keeping up with the Joneses This episode we share three explicit experiences, a weekend with some "tried and true" LS friends, an evening with our new Texas friends and (queue the trumpets) our first experience with a single female! Discussion topic We discuss how we developed a healthy approach to the lifestyle by 1) setting priorities, 2) staying balanced and 3) keeping a healthy perspective as a couple in the lifestyle. Snapshots Mr Jones shares an extremely "happy ending" with a new friend and Mrs Jones describes being pushed against a wall from behind while enjoying a sexy view in the mirror... Mentioned Please sign up here if you're interested in attending our Meet & Greet at Naughty in N'awlins this summer! Mrs Jones recommends visiting the Licor 43 website.
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.
And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 35 of the we got a thing podcast so it's a friday night and we are recording and we just finished kicking with some friends and and the big discussion on kick was deciding on what I was going to be drinking tonight. That wasn't the only decision that was made. There was some talk about fishnets. Oh, well, yeah, there was, wasn't there? Yeah. So I lost, I didn't really care about the drinks once the fishnets came into the conversation.
So, in the heck oh my gosh is that that you're drinking this might be my favorite drink ever so um i threw it out there to two different couples that we were talking with tonight and they both mentioned like liqueur 43 yeah of course i'm so predictable right but liqueur43 has a great website it's a really sexy website it it um has tons and tons of cocktails on it at first i didn't think it had very many but when you scroll down to the bottom like especially like i do it on my ipad and um and then all of a sudden magically more recipes appear and more recipes appear so i chose a drink tonight.
Magically. It is magic. Gosh. Well, it's kind of cool because it kind of bounces at the bottom and then boom like six more recipes show up it's really it's a very slick website maybe you should spell liqueur 43 i should because it is a little different it's l-i-c-o-r yeah so the website is, what, L-I-C-O-R 43? Yeah, I mean, if you just Google LaCour 43, it comes right up. Okay. I mean, the website, LaCour 43 is from Spain, so the website is from Spain, but they have an English. And what, how come there's, like, plants inside your drink? So my drink tonight is called a Strawberry Crush 43.
and what i did, and this recipe is definitely going to be in our newsletter coming up next time. Well, by the time that you hear this, the newsletter's out. Well, right. So it'll be the next newsletter. Oh, okay. Right. Okay. And that's perfect because this is definitely a springtime drink. Yeah. So what I did is I muddled some fresh strawberries and some fresh basil in the bottom of a martini shaker. So the green plants that you're seeing, darling, are basil leaves. Well, basil doesn't go on drinks. It goes on like... You know, I've had drinks with fresh rosemary.
I've had drinks with fresh thyme, with fresh basil. Like these herbs are really... And you claim you like this drink? You liked it too. I had you taste it. I said it wasn't bad. You're such a liar. I said it wasn't bad. When somebody says something's not bad, that's not really a lot of high praise. For you, that means you like it. Yeah. Because usually you're like making fun of it. Well, I'm drinking bourbon. I'm drinking Maker's Mark. I know. You're so boring. No. I mean, bourbon season is almost over. I drink that in the winter. Yeah. Because usually you're like making fun of it.
Well, I'm drinking bourbon. I'm drinking Maker's Mark. I know. You're so boring. No, I mean, bourbon season is almost over. I drink that in the winter. Yeah. You drank all your good bourbon. I know. We need to go to the liquor store. I know. You did not let me finish my recipe. Okay, go ahead. What other crap is in that thing? Well, really nothing. So after I muddled the strawberries and the basil, then I added fresh lime juice and vodka and liqueur 43. And then you just shake it up in a martini shaker. There's a lot of booze in there then. There's a lot of booze in there, yeah.
Vodka and liqueur 43. But that's all it is. It's just five ingredients. It's really, really good. Yeah. Okay, well, good. Yeah, so anyway, the recipe's on their website if you don't want to wait for our next newsletter. Yeah, I tell you what, I'll put a link to the Liqueur 43 website. That's a good idea. In our show notes. I think we should become one of their affiliates. Yeah. As much Liqueur 43 as I drink. I know. Maybe they would send us a lifetime supply. I know. That's the least they could do.
Yeah could do all right what else is going on well we have been having fun in our desire forum yeah on our website yeah we mr jones got it up and running and i think most of our guests have joined some people haven't joined yet we have over 60 couples that have joined the forum yeah so there's a lot of conversation going yeah yeah and the weekend is full you you well i should clarify that you can't book the whole week there are some rooms available maybe threezy threezy if you want to come at the beginning or the end but there's a waiting list so get on the waiting list as a matter of fact one couple emailed me this week and said they were having to back out um but there's people on the waiting list so if you if you're still interested um you know get on the waiting list for an ocean view or a master suite because there may be other cancellations true yeah so that's going well.
Yeah, that's been fun. So what else has been going on a lot i know i i was dumb enough to take on some extra responsibilities at work so life around the jones house has been kind of boring i i've been working a lot in the evenings and it has not been well it's just given me um time to work on the website that's true newsletter yeah guilt-free right forum yeah yeah Oh, yeah, and I added, oh, here's just given me time to work on the website. That's true. And the newsletter. Yeah. Guilt-free, right? And the forum, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I added, oh, here's an important announcement.
On our website, I added a link in the upper right-hand corner to sign up for our meet and greet at Naughty in New Orleans. So since the Desire trip is full, I took down that sign up for desire and i put up sign up for n-i-n cool so if you're planning to attend naughty in new orleans and you want to attend our meet and greet go to the website and indicate your interest and it'll you'll have a place there where you put your first names and your email address and then that way we can communicate with you and give you all the details before NIN.
And we're, we're a little, um, unsure about how NIN is going to be this year because if you haven't, um, stayed kind of in touch with the whole NIN experience, they, Bob and Tess, French connections events, they're doing different types of like NIN events around the this year and this is a first for them so um that that's a really exciting thing because obviously it's growing nin was so big last year yeah um i don't want to say it was too big but it's kind of approaching the point where you really can't successfully um entertain 2 000 people in the venue that they had with and have everybody have opportunities to go into the playrooms and you know the ballrooms for the evening events and and all that kind of stuff so they've they've kind of split it up and they're doing different events around the country so i don't know what kind of effect that's going to have on the New Orleans event.
Is it going to be smaller this year? I'm not real sure. They're probably not real sure either. It doesn't matter. We're going to be there. We are going to be there. We're going to have fun. There's going to be sexy people there. Yeah. You know, whether it's 1,000 or 2,000 people, it's still going to be like a sexy town. Yeah, so it's July 5 through 9. Yes. And sign up and we'll see you there. Yeah. Okay. What are we talking about? We haven't even talked about what is the episode tonight. Oh, yeah. So the episode tonight is called Keeping It Real, A Healthy Approach to the Lifestyle. Yeah.
What does that mean? Well, kind of what I just referred to, you know, sometimes life gets really crowded. Like I've taken on these extra responsibilities at work and, and it kind of sucks, but it's good for my career.
And, um, you know, if I can kind of shut everything else, I'm, I'm kind of enjoying what I'm doing, but, um, it's really affecting the balance of my life yeah and other things obviously have to be put on the back burner at least temporarily while I'm working on this project so um that happens to everybody so when we get to our topic we're going to talk about that yeah balances and priorities and perspectives right and how we balance that sometimes a lifestyle can really almost kind of get in the way of real life. And it just needs to be part of real life.
It can't be the focus of your life if you want to keep everything else healthy and balanced. Right. But before we get to that, we did have some sexy fun. Yeah, we are kind of balancing things well you know what though we're balancing february with december and january we're kind of slow because of family stuff that's true so we're making up for lost time we yeah with two weekends in a row we managed to pack a lot in yeah yeah so last weekend we went um away just locally and spent the uh saturday afternoon and evening with some of our, uh, tried and shrewd friends in the lifestyle.
And we had a great time with them. And what I, what I love about them is they are, they're really, they're both morning people. So they don't like this whole, you know, dance around the whole playtime thing until midnight and maybe start playing at like one or two in the morning. Yeah. They like to get things moving along. Yeah. So their preference is actually to play in the afternoon and then go out to dinner and then, you know, kind of pack it in early. Yeah. So we went up, we met them at a hotel probably about, what, three or four in the afternoon. Yeah. Yeah.
We got there, I think, at three. Thank you. you know kind of pack it in early yeah so we went up we met them at a hotel probably about what three or four in the afternoon yeah yeah we got there i think at three and by the time we got done cutting up the cheese and crackers and having a drink the clothes started coming off yeah yeah that was a quick happy hour yeah it wasn't a happy hour um yeah so we had some serious play time before dinner.
Yeah did and then it happened to be um a restaurant week in the town that we were in and we went out to dinner we had a great dinner then we came back to the oh wait yeah so we ubered from the hotel we ubered from the hotel to the restaurant and it was really it was very close but um the other lady and i had on heels and we didn't feel like walking and stuff so so anyway we ubered in this really nice like suburban car pulls up and and she and i get in the back and and we're talking and i said something about you said vanilla friends yeah i was talking about friends of ours and there there are vanilla friends that we've known for like decades and um i had used the word vanilla and then i said what kind of friends did you say mrs jones and you and you didn't even pick up on it you said vanilla i had been drinking and i had already had crazy sex my brain was not fully functional the driver was snorting when you were and i kept and you didn't realize I was goading you into saying vanilla.
What do you mean by vanilla friends? And then you kind of caught on. But yeah, I was a little slow on the uptake there. Yeah. And I think something similar happened on the way back. It did.
Oh, well on the way back, I, we were talking about, we were being a little bit more deliberate about our conversation but then we pulled back up to the hotel and you know we're in the the little alcove that you pull into where all the the valet people are and the bellboys and stuff oh yeah and the other husband goes to help me out because then again it was like a suburban type thing that pulled up and and the and i were in the very like in the third row so it's a little awkward to get out of that especially when you have on a short dress and high heels so the other husband says here i'll help you out and he grabbed me and of course my dress was already on the shorter side yeah and he grabbed me and in a very inappropriate way and just literally, like, hauled me out of the suburban.
And the driver was not even containing himself. No, but then he grabbed his wife in the same manner. Right, right. Because the driver probably didn't know who was who because the wife and I were in the back row and you two were in the middle row. So you couldn't really tell who was married to whom. But, yeah, he manhandled both of us. Yeah, and I was out. I had gotten out of the car first, and I was just watching the driver react. But that was after another bottle of wine. Yeah, so we had some fun with our Uber drivers that night.
Yeah, and then our friends were so fired up that, remember, we said, well, we're going to stop by our room, and we'll be up.
Right, so, yeah yeah we i mean we literally just kind of dropped off our stuff for round two and then i we went up and we knocked on the door and it was a while before he came to the door and then when he came to the door he had he had a shirt on but he was out of breath well he was naked except for his shirt it wasn't like the shirt was really doing any good because we because he was already do and his wife dog is down the end of the bed and he had to stop come on in so i think i took his place yeah there was we just got our clothes right back off i know that was fun that was a lot of gosh yeah yeah and then we had some listeners come into town again i've said this before but before, but it's great to live in Washington, D.C.
Yes, it is. Because so many people come here for work or for vacation, and some listeners from Texas came into town. And fortunately, we were able to catch up with them on a Friday night, and that turned into a really sexy night. It sure did. Oh, my. Yeah. Yeah, there was a hot tub. We went to dinner. We came back here. There was some hot tub, and there was some... Yeah. What did we drink? Did you take La Cour 43 into the hot tub? I don't remember. I think I did. Yeah, we took drinks into the hot tub, and then we came in and, man, went to town. Yeah.
Yeah, everybody was nice and relaxed after that hot tub, and all the inhibitions were gone. Yeah, what a sexy couple. Yeah, very sexy couple. Yeah, so that was Friday night. And we stayed. They didn't leave here until 2 a.m. on Saturday yeah and then the highlight well one of the highlights was we are you know I feel like horn should be playing yes yeah yeah angels should be singing so our unicorn came over Saturday night the very next night so we were supposed to do a long run on Saturday so we'd stayed up till 2 a.m., then we had to go for a run. I don't even think we napped.
Did we take a nap Saturday afternoon? I didn't, no. No, we didn't get a chance to. So this was the big event. Yes. We talked about meeting our unicorn, and what did you think? It was a very positive experience i it went way better than i could have very sexy i know that's how you were talking to me last episode that's not very sexy well i'm not gonna lie i was a little anxious on how i was going to react okay i mean i wasn't um i wasn't afraid and i knew that i would be able to handle it emotionally, but I didn't know how much pleasure I would receive out of the evening. Yeah.
And I was pleasantly surprised. Well, she arrived. She got stuck in traffic, so she was a little late, and she arrived. Yeah, welcome to Washington, D.C., right? That always happens. Yeah, and we made dinner. We had a very nice, she brought us a nice bottle of wine. Yeah. And it was a very relaxing evening, very relaxing dinner. The conversation was very natural. Yeah, I don't think anybody was nervous at this point. I think we had spent enough time talking ahead of time and flirting ahead of time that I think everybody. Oh, I was a little panicked like the day before.
Cause remember she texted us and she said, I'm just getting over a cold. Oh, right. I think I'm going to be able to make it, but I won't let you know until tomorrow. I was like, Oh no, panic, vitamin C, vitamin C.
And then the next morning, finally she texted and she said, I feel good enough to, you know, that know that i'm healthy enough to come so i think we both would have caught cold just to have her come over yeah but she must not have been contagious anymore because neither one of us got sick no so after dinner we just came down to the so what was going through your mind i mean were you anxious at all after she got here no i think i felt better after she got here okay because she's um she's not a very high-strung person at all she she's actually pretty low-key yeah she's the opposite of that yeah um so she's good at putting us at ease and then you know i i think that um i think she has a good sense of how connected you and i are so i don't think she was worried about walking into a hidden agenda or anything like that you know i think we were pretty much what you see is what you get with her and um i think that made her feel comfortable which in turn made us feel comfortable yeah and i just i really like her as a person like she's like a really cool girlfriend you know yeah so i did i didn't ever feel threatened by her you know either i don't know it i can't even explain what kind of anxiety was going through my head like when i first started thinking about uh introducing a unicorn into our relationship but you know that was before we met her so yeah it was just irrational drama in my head yeah so we came downstairs made a couple drinks yeah did we play the card game uh we made chocolate martinis yeah yes chocolate martinis yeah uh i think we did play around with the card game a little bit, didn't we?
I think we did the questions part of it. Yeah. And then we ended up in the bedroom. Yes. And that was fun. Yeah, it was. Well, I should say, first of all, I don't know how it could have gone any better. Right. It was just very, we were very comfortable. Of course, she's very beautiful. You know, she was really relaxed. And I didn't, I was a little bit maybe nervous about making sure that I could be with both of you.
and you know there was this stress that i was going through about i wanted to be with her and i wanted to show her a good time but i also wanted you to know i wanted you to somehow know that you were the most important person in the room for me and i didn't know quite how that was going to play out right and you didn't need to do that i mean i know that you know so but but i appreciate i appreciate the sentiment but so what happened was i think i think i started out with her oh because during the card game she had said that one of her favorite positions is doggy style right oh yeah Oh, yeah.
And your eyes just lit up. Oh, my goodness. I was like, yes. Yeah. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. And that's how we started. And I started kind of slow. And she turned around and she said something about, you can go harder than that. Or you can be harder than that. So I said, okay. So we started going at it pretty hard.
And then I i think i i was with you for a while and then i came back to with be with her again condom number two and then i think you got you got did you get a toy out you got the hitachi out yeah we had the hitachi out at one point yeah and then and then i took a little bit of a break and I think you two were using the Hitachi yeah yeah she and I played a little bit but not a lot yeah I think both of us said that we'd like to spend a little bit more time together next time um you know we have to kind of figure out that that flow with the people. I don't mind being the main event. Yeah.
Well, I think that was kind of on everybody's mind is, you know, this was kind of about you because it was your first unicorn experience. So I think both of us wanted to make sure that you had a good time. There was one point in time when I was with her. I think it was the second time I was with her, maybe a missionary, and you were laying on the bed perpendicular to her, and you were above her head, and you had your eyes closed, and I started rubbing your arm because I wanted you to open your eyes. I couldn't see what you were thinking.
So do you remember I do you were a little bit your your eyes almost had a little bit of panic in them yeah because you wouldn't open your eyes and I was like okay what's going on I don't I don't even remember why I had my eyes closed but that um that wasn't really a momentous time for me in the evening. There was another time where all three of us were on our knees. And I think you two were just kissing at that point. And all of us were kind of upright on our knees on the bed. And I think I was kind of playing with her.
I think might have been like rubbing her breasts or whatever while you were kissing her. And I stopped and I stopped touching both of you and I was just kind of watching. And you looked over and you said, are you okay? And I said, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just watching. It's okay. That's the moment that I remember you being concerned. Well, why were you just watching? I mean, what were you thinking? Was it because you wanted to watch, or was it because you, I mean, why? I think I was being a little cerebral at that time, and I was just kind of contemplating how I felt about watching that.
And I have to admit, I was kind of neutral. It wasn't really turning me on, but it wasn't bothering me. I was glad that you were receiving pleasure, though. I wasn't... Oh, I was receiving pleasure. Well, you two were just kissing. You were embracing. I mean, the whole night. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you were definitely receiving pleasure, yes. But, I mean, I was just kind of thinking about how I felt just to make sure I wasn't missing the moment. Because you can get caught up in the moment, and then afterwards you have to kind of process it all.
And I guess I just felt like I had an opportunity because I wasn't involved in what you were doing. I'm going to go of process it all. And I, I guess I just felt like I had an opportunity because I wasn't involved in what you were doing at that point. And it was easy for me to just kind of disengage, not physically, but just kind of mentally disengage and then just kind of talk or talk in my own head about, well, how do you feel about this?
Um, is it okay that he's engaged with her and you're just kind of on the sidelines and I don't like to watch, but I don't think watching turns me on as much as it turns you on. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Um, so it, it didn't bother me and that was good because that was my biggest concern is that it was going to bother me. Yeah.
You know, especially with somebody as, as, uh, beautiful and as an intelligent as her and not that any of the women we play with aren't um deserving of your attention or affection but um she's a pretty striking person yeah and uh yeah it was it was fine i mean i i was i was glad that you were receiving pleasure and at the same time i was glad that you were giving her pleasure because she was you know definitely enjoying herself as well i think i think so and she's very deserving of that. Yeah. And, and so, so can we get explicit for a minute?
Because the way that it ended in my mind, it was perfect. Yeah. That was really fun. You know, I had, I had been with her and then I went with you and then I went back with her and then I, I wanted to finish with you. And when I got close to finishing and I went back to you, she took your Hitachi. She did. And she was laying next to you. And we were like right up against each other. Yeah. I think she and I were like touching. Yeah. So she was watching us while she was playing with the Hitachi. Yeah. And then I finished in you. No, you didn't. You came on my belly. Oh, well, I finished on you.
Yeah. I finished with you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty hot. It was. Yeah. Yeah, just watching her watch us while she was playing with herself with the Hitachi. That was perfecto. Yeah.
And she and I played it together a little bit there was one time where and honestly i don't even know what you were doing with her you you were engaged with her and at one point she went down on me and and that was pretty hot because you were engaged with her and she was engaged with me and i was just kind of like laying there accepting all that pleasure yeah so i was watching and then she was going down on me and that was pretty hot yeah Thank you.
was engaged with me and i was just kind of like laying there accepting all that pleasure yeah so i was watching and then she was going down on me and that was pretty hot yeah so i think she and i both talked about next time we would like to maybe you know spend more time with each other so yeah i think i'm glad that she said the words next time that that was a good sign yeah yeah and we definitely and you remember the second time we were with a single guy it was much more comfortable yeah definitely so i'm looking forward to that but i have to be completely honest um you know the difference with the difference in being with a single guy or a single woman compared to a couple is that the single guy and the single woman don't bring a relationship into the mix.
You know, when we're with another couple, we get to watch them interact and watch that relationship. And that's sexy, too. I love to watch another couple have sex. I do, too. I do, too. And I'm not saying anyone is... That's just a difference that I noticed. So that dynamic changes things.
But't know um i mean she's beautiful she's intelligent she's she was she was really comfortable um she had a you had a tall redhead and a short redhead in your bed i don't know i don't know i keep saying what's not to like Well, I keep saying this, but I don't know how this can keep getting better, but it just does. And damn, this is something I want to tell my friends. I know. I can't. Yeah. Yeah, too funny. I mean, it's just the secret is just so fun. Yeah. You know, our friends page in pen from the Swinger Diaries there, they've kind of changed their form.
the secret is just so fun yeah you know um our friends page and pen on from the swinger diaries there they've kind of changed their format up a little so if you haven't given them a listen lately first of all they're back on the air they've been on back on the air for a month a few months now and they they're changing their format a little bit now and um they're they're kind of posing three questions a month and or an episode and one one of their questions on their latest episode, which just came out a few days ago, was, is keeping the secret part of the fun of the lifestyle?
That isn't worded exactly right, but that was kind of the main idea. And I love this secret. It's so much fun, because we just have this naughty little secret that nobody else knows. Because we have not shared this with anybody. Yet. Yet, right. Yeah, you scare me when you say that. But at the same time, don't you wish you could tell somebody that? Yeah. Well, we're just telling thousands of people right now. Right. That does help relieve it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And we get emails. And I should probably say right now, we really want your emails. We do.
Part of the reason why the topic tonight came up was because of two or three different emails that we got. Yeah. So, I mean, we love hearing from our regular listeners and the regular emailers, but we want to hear from you. If you have not emailed us, please do. We want to learn about you. We want to learn about what you're going through. And, you know, that's just the aspect of this that keeps us going. And I have to, I am struggling right now.
So if you email me, I'm'm struggling i probably won't get to your email until the weekend because i've been working a lot of nights but um but because i'm working a lot of nights mr jones has a lot of time on his hands at night so yeah he's definitely been much better about that than me lately so i would call our unicorn session a success. Oh, that's putting it mildly. Yes. So hopefully she's listening. Yeah. You know, she, thank you. Hugs and kisses. Yes. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Until next time. All right. Well, that's the sexy stuff for now.
We will have some more sexy stuff at the end yeah but next when we come back we're going to talk about keeping it real keeping it real developing a healthy approach to the lifestyle yes did you notice it was the song again? Was it? Yeah. You know what song it is because you like this song. This was a spin class song. Oh, yeah. Shaggy. Yeah. Keeping it real. Yeah. The what a what song. Let's not go there. Okay. So anyway, back to the topic. Yeah. We have kind of taken the approach, an approach to the lifestyle and broken it down into three major, I guess, aspects.
We've retrospectively taken this approach because we didn't take this approach when we went through this ourselves. Yeah, this is one of those do as I say, not as I do things. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure why you people listen to us because we screwed all this up the first time. Well, no, we didn't, you know, and realistically we have not had a rough journey so far. No, we've been lucky. Yeah. We, yeah, we've been lucky. That's true. Yeah. We're pretty smart about things. We're really smart with 20-20 hindsight. Yeah. Yeah.
So I guess that's what we're trying to help you all avoid is that, oh, yeah, we should have done this or we should have, would have, could have. Yeah. So we've taken this healthy approach idea and broken it down into three major, I guess, topics or aspects. And the first one is priorities. Having your priorities set properly so that you can go to the second topic and have a healthy balance in your lives. And then finally, it's all about keeping things in perspective. So it's priorities, balance, and perspective. Yes. Okay, I'm with you. Yeah. It's not the three Ps again.
Didn't we have one that was three Ps one time? Yes. Yeah. So the balance is screwing that up. Yeah. Oh, well. Well, so to start out with priorities. I mean, this is a talk that every couple needs to have. And this really doesn't have a lot to do with the lifestyle. I would say we didn't have this talk the first 10 years of our marriage, at least. Right. Because we didn't. We were naive. Right. Yeah. But then we did. And again, this was pre lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have this talk about every couple of years now. Yeah. Most of the time we have this talk when we're walking on the beach.
On vacation. On vacation in the morning with a cup of coffee. Yeah. And just kind of chilling. Well, that's because it takes, we're both out of our element then. Right. And, you know, your happy place is the beach. Yes. So you're not stressed out by anything and you're very open to conversations about the future. Yeah. And I'm actually kind of a morning person at the beach. Yeah, because you don't want to waste any sunlight. That's right. So, yes, so the priority talk. Yeah, I mean, we all do this. Whether we realize it or not, you set priorities.
And even if you don't have the talk about priorities, you choose your priorities based on what you choose to be involved with. Right, I mean, it's all you have to do is kind of step back for a minute and think about, you know, where do I spend my time? You know, or what do I spend my time on? Or what do I spend my money on? Yeah. You know, and what do I spend my energy on? Right. And we don't do that. A lot of people don't do that. So it's almost like making a budget because there's 24 hours a day. Yep. Seven days a week. Yep. Four weeks a month, 12 months a year. So fill in the blanks.
What you've chosen to do, whether it's around your work, your career, school, whether it's your kids or whether it's your own professional development. That's right. We always talk about, well, we've got our kids are in school and our kids play sports. But you know what? Some of us are still taking classes, you know, whether it's an official college class. I mean, some people are working on their undergrad degree, graduate degree, you know, postgraduate degrees or just professional development. So then there's family, friends. Right.
For us, church is a big part of our lives um sports well exercising yeah well i mean so again you know our kids are are involved in sports but some of us are involved in sports too yeah you know you i remember when we first got married you were in a bowling league and you played softball yes um And that took up a lot of time that was like the i think the bowling was every monday night and then the softball was like every friday night and saturday are you nagging me no i'm reflecting yeah but it did take up a lot of time yeah and then you know when you backed off of that is when our girls started getting involved in things.
Because then you had to change your priorities. Yeah. Because it just became physically impossible. Right. So fill in all the blanks. I mean. Right. You know, take an assessment of what you're doing in your life now and what your priorities are. And then try to cram something else in. Yeah.
Well, I mean, what now and how much time do they take if you don't address that you're living in denial right because a lifestyle is kind of time consuming yeah and you know what um what is hard is subtracting we're good at adding but we're not very good at subtracting right because it's always especially with lifestyle stuff it's like oh yeah that sounds sexy that sounds fun let's just add that in right but then you don't stop and subtract anything out and if you're already your schedule's already overbooked right adding something to it is a recipe for disaster. Right.
I mean, okay, so I have to confess, I am an introvert, and I don't do well when I get overcommitted. I've been known to get a little grumpy. Let me rephrase that. A few years ago, in our small group at church, we read a book called The Five Love Languages. Yes, highly recommended. Yeah, it's a great book. Quality time. So what were the five? So the five love languages are receiving gifts. Acts of service. Yes. Quality time. Words of encouragement. Words of encouragement. Or words of affirmation. Yeah. And... Acts. No, did we say service already? Oh, physical touch. Physical touch.
How could we forget that one? That's right. And so at the beginning of the book, you take a quiz and it tells you what your love language is. And Mrs. Jones' love language is quality time. I mean, hands down, it was quality time time so i know that if our schedule starts to get overbooked the she mrs jones you start to get stressed out i do yeah i do and the and the pleasant sexy voice that you hear on the podcast isn't what i hear come on now now. I'm still the same person when I'm grumpy. You're kind of bitchy. I get stressed out. I know you do. That's what I'm saying.
And you said you were an introvert. Yes. And so you draw your strength from your personal time. Right. And if you don't have your personal time, then... I get a little stressed out. that who pays the price you do unfortunately yeah which is not fair but that's reality sorry no that's okay so I mean I learned how to say no I we learned how to subtract things off yeah we had to and I think specifically you know our vanilla friends have been the ones that we've reduced our time with in the lifestyle. And that's unfortunate. But the ones that we're the closest to, we stay in touch with for sure.
Yeah, right. We just eliminated the extracurricular activities on the weekends with our vanilla friends. And we've replaced that with the lifestyle. Right.
And even with things with things like kids and church i mean those are things that you feel like you can over commit to and you're going to be okay but we've we even learned that you can you can over commit yourself there too yeah that's true yeah and so saying no to people is something that's difficult to do especially if you've if you have a couple that's reached out to you in the lifestyle and you look at their profile and you think man this is a sexy couple and they want to spend time with us i know but this weekend we've already committed to whatever i know and you feel like oh my gosh if we don't say yes they're going to think we don't like them and then they're never going to want to talk to us again yeah and now we've missed a huge opportunity or you feel like we've been in this we've been looking for a couple and all of a sudden one's presented to us and now they want they're free this weekend and we're not right and so the temptation there is to cancel your other plans and make lifestyle plans.
I know. And that might work once or twice. Yeah. But you can't do that time and time again, because then, then it kind of leads into the next thing where you were going to talk about in a few minutes. And that's, you know, that balance. Right. So, so time is one resource, but also money is another resource. Yeah, I mean, we have to be real about this. Yeah. And don't, you know, I think the danger in listening to our podcast, danger, is putting yourself in our shoes. Because remember, we're a bit older and we're empty nesters. Right. And so we have the resource of time where some of you don't.
Right. And we have the resource of money now because we're done paying for weddings and college. Yeah. We have more disposable income. So we make our lifestyle choices based on where we are. Right. So you are going to choose how you want to engage with the lifestyle. Is it just vacations? Is it just lifestyle clubs? Is it dating local couples? You know, what is, what are you choosing to do and how much time does that take and how much money does that take? Right.
Because every, every, um, opportunity to interact with another couple in the lifestyle usually involves money because you're meeting them for drinks or you're meeting them for dinner or you're going to a club where there's membership fees and door fees and, you know, meet and greets. You know, sometimes there's a cover charge at the door. And then, of course, you have your appetizers and your cocktails or whatever you end up with there. And then there's desire.
And, know desire is an amazing vacation but it is not a cheap vacation no it's not yeah so everything involves money and i think sometimes we we shy away from that and we all pretend that we have all this disposable income and it's a struggle well i think what we're saying is be realistic yeah realistic. Don't superimpose your lives into ours or anyone else's. Because we live in Washington, D.C. We have disposable income. We have free time. Those are things that may be different for you. So just keep that in mind and keep it real, back to our title, with what your situation is.
So that's priority. Yes. So what's next? Thank you. keep it real back to our title with what your situation is so that's priority yes so what's next so the next thing is balance and and i i i want to talk about balance from um two different points of view i guess and the the first one i want to talk about is the balance between the husband and wife or the two partners. You know, are you both on the same page as you are participating in the lifestyle or whether you're or maybe you're brand new and you're getting ready to dip your toe? Are you guys on the same page? You know, or all in?
That's the biggest first question to ask, I guess. And what's the second balance? So the second balance is, okay, now you're both all in. Now are you guys moving at the same pace? Because if you become out of balance you know, what you're, you're wanting to do or willing to do as you progress through the lifestyle as an individual. And then of course, as a couple, um, if you're moving at different paces that can cause conflict too. And that can create an unhealthy imbalance in your relationship. Okay. So let's break this down. We've already had the priority talk. Yes.
So we've already talked about how many weekends a month we I'm not going to be different for every couple so we've made that decision now what you're saying is are we all in so let's talk about that one first okay so this is you know when you're in a marriage or a relationship and there's compromise and there's you know you want to see a romantic comedy and i want to see an action movie yep you know it's happened a couple times so there's these situations where we'll just say you know what i love you you're my spouse i know you really want to do that so I'm going to forego what I want to do and do what you want to do.
You've actually been really good at that over the past 32 years. Well, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, it's been 33. Do you know what today is? It's Friday. Yeah. It's Friday, March the 3rd. And do you know what you did 33 years ago today? He's having this oh shit moment. His eyes are really big right now. Let me go down the list. Was it our first date? No. Was it when I proposed to you? Yeah. Ding, okay. Ding. Okay. 33 years ago today. Okay. Yeah. Can we move on? Yeah. But I just wanted to share that. I mean, we've been doing this for a while. Okay. Yeah.
So what we're saying is the lifestyle is not something that you're going to just do for your spouse because you're going to allow them to take you to a romantic comedy instead of an action movie. Right. Or I really want Mexican for dinner, but you want a steak. Yeah. All right, I'll go eat a steak. Yeah. I mean, marriages and relationships are about compromise. The lifestyle takes 100% commitment from both. Yes.
Like you were just saying, you're all in in this is not something that you can say oh well you know what okay if you want to do this i'll go along with you yeah that ain't gonna work no it'll work until in theory yeah it works in not in practice until you get to the bedroom and the clothes start coming off and then you're like oh my gosh what have i signed up for right and then what happens then yeah it gets ugly yeah then you've got a spouse who's upset with you and you've got another couple right who are potentially upset with you as well or even worse you end up doing something you don't want to do right because you don't want to cause a scene and that's and that's not what the lifestyle is about right so as far as as balance goes if you're not both on the same page you have to address that and figure out where you want to go as a couple from there right you know are you going to work to to both be all in or maybe this just needs to be part of your um like fantasy life so i can only think of a couple things that we've done where we were both all in together because you have your career i have my career right we have different careers yeah um you know you had your friends i had my friends you had your interest i had my interest right yeah you we we each had our things But, first of all when we were youth group counselors at our church yeah we did that together we did and that was awesome yeah and that was really a special time because our kids were in high school and we were involved together we were fully committed and we were both all in yeah and the other thing that i can think about is running even though though it didn't start that way.
No, it didn't start that way. I mean, you started out first. We, gosh, it's probably been like, I don't know, like maybe nine years ago, we joined the gym and decided we needed to get back in shape. We realized we weren't getting any younger and we...
That happens when you're in your 40s we couldn't rely on good genes and uh yeah just right normal life to keep us in shape so yeah so we joined the gym and we both were really into cycle classes but then mr jones started running and i was like oh that is so not for me well i decided i wanted to run a marathon before i turned 50 yeah so he had this like bucket list thing and i was like okay well have fun with that because i am not doing that but then i watched him train because he didn't just want to run he wanted to run a marathon so that's a huge time commitment so i watched him embark on this journey of training for this marathon and his first race was like a 10k and i'm like it's cold out i'm not going have fun i'll see you when you get home at that point in time it was something that i wanted to do that you didn't want to right i was not like anything and it could have taken time away from us well and it was and it was taking time away from us so then a couple months later you had built up to run a half marathon and i decided to go to that it was in may it was a beautiful day um and all the stars aligned all the stars aligned you were able to get yourself out of bed and you were i mean i i watched you work hard and and i was excited for you because i knew you were putting a lot of energy into this so anyway i went to the race and and i'm like oh my gosh you know there are the most incredible people running this half marathon there were young people there were old people there were short people there were tall people there were big people there were you know small people like people of all body types ages more women more women than men yeah we're running and i'm like oh my gosh if they can do it why couldn't i do it why am i being such a big baby about running so i decided to start running and it wasn't because you said i'm gonna start running and i want you to do this with me because we need to do this as a couple.
It was because I was inspired to do it myself. It came from within me. And then it was just a really cool thing because it just so happened that you were doing this too. So even though that you run in the afternoon and I run in the morning. Yeah, that goes back to me not being a morning person. And you run a slower pace and I run a faster pace. Right. But we are both equally invested in running. Yes. And we do weekend races together. Yes. So we are both all in. Right.
Where if I would have continued running and you would not have you could have possibly resented the amount of time absolutely time energy and money yeah you know you think running is a cheap sport it's not you know you've got to have the proper clothing the proper shoes the proper gear all these gadgets wait wait time out what it's more expensive for you because your outfits have to match oh that's so true i just need black shorts and a t-shirt that's true Thank you.
Wait, wait, time out It's more expensive for you Because your outfits have to match Oh, that's so true I just need black shorts and a t-shirt And running shoes And your running shoes are like A third higher, more cost than mine I buy the most expensive shoes at the running store So when you say that it's expensive It's because you want to be like Color coordinated and match And you have Well, I do. And you paint your fingernails the same color as you were. I do. That's good luck. So it doesn't have to be that way. But the point is that we were both committed to that. Yes.
And so because we're both committed to it, we don't resent the time it takes. And we both made the decision to do it as individuals. You had to make the decision on your own i could not talk you into running no and and i wouldn't have tried to do that no because that you just that's something that you cannot be talked into you're a badass runner thank you yeah yeah for somebody who never ran before except for like middle school and i was pretty pathetic yeah you're pretty badass thank So good for you. Yeah, I actually enjoy it. You know, I own it. It's my own activity.
And it's just extra cool that you and I can share it. Right. So I think what we're saying is the lifestyle has to be something that you both want to do. Individually.
But you want to do it together, but decide individually right because i mean your sexuality is your own you know you you share that with your partner or your spouse but the way you feel when you're involved in sexual situations it that's your you own that as an individual so you you just can't be talked into or you shouldn't you shouldn't be talked into doing that so in order to engage in the lifestyle in a healthy way that you have to individually decide it but then come together as a couple and say, okay, now we're both all in. Where do we go from here? Right. So that's one kind of balance.
What was the other balance that you described? So then the other balance that I thought of is, okay, so now we're both in. Where do we go from here? You know, you move forward and you don't like graduate from, you know, you you move forward and and there you don't like graduate from you know being a exhibitionist or a voyeur to soft swap to full swap that full swap is not necessarily the end game it is for some people but it doesn't have to be but where where do you go to push your boundaries and, and find that new excitement and that new adventure?
Um, you, you have to decide that as a couple and you have to stay in tune and in touch. And sometimes that, that gets out of balance. Yeah. That, that can get out of balance and boy, have we had that happen? Yeah. Yeah. Once or twice. Yeah. Especially at the beginning. I mean, now we're kind of, you know, we've had enough experiences now where when we enter a situation, we've learned to read each other. I just know by Mr. Jones's body language or just by our past experiences, the type of people he's attracted to. And I'm not just talking about women.
I mean, we just had this conversation at dinner tonight about how he has like a spidey sense on reading gentlemen and their motivations. Well, I was saying that our older daughter is dating a guy. And I have the same protectiveness over her as I do over you. Yeah. I think you have more protectiveness over her as you should. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, you have a pretty good intuition when it comes to that. Yeah, it's my spidey sense. It's a gift. It's a superpower.
Sometimes I find it annoying, especially when it's a really cute guy and Mr.ones is like uh-uh well yeah but okay let's so let's go back though because you um so those of you have begin with that have been with us since the beginning we did an episode about full swap soft swap right and we made a trip to desire and during that trip we were a soft swap couple we were a soft swap couple but we connected with a couple at desire and you and he i mean the four of us connected but oh yeah you and he especially connected and i had sensed even though i'm reflecting back i don't think I realized this at the time, but I could tell that you wanted to full swap with him.
As a matter of fact, he even mentioned it. He mentioned it after the fact. He was very much a gentleman because we had had good conversation ahead of time and they knew we were soft swap and they totally respected that. And he did respect that. right but after it was over he made a comment about are you guys are you sure you're not a full swap couple and i was kind of like um well and mr jones i don't think was very entertained by that no no i i i wasn't ready for that yet and rightfully you were. Well, Mr. Jones and I had not ever talked about the possibility of moving forward to Full Swap.
And I probably was a little too excited about the prospects. And we didn't talk about that until we flew back to Baltimore. And then we had this long... No, we were at Dulles. We were at Dulles Airport. Okay, we had this long drive. But it was still a long drive home. Yeah. And so we're trapped in the car, and then all of a sudden, it just comes out. You brought it up. And then it was just like a floodgate opened. Yeah. And all of these emotions came out about, I wanted a full swap, and Mr. Jones didn't. And he couldn't understand why I wanted to.
And I couldn't understand what the big deal was. And it was just, it wasn't ugly, but it was. It was pretty raw. It was intense. It was raw and intense. Yeah.
We were very careful in our conversation to not like circle the wagons and shoot inwards at each other but but at the same time i think we were both confused i didn't understand why you were so slow and you didn't understand why i wanted to like forge ahead yeah and it was kind of scary and they picked up on that oh yeah so not only in hindsight because they were much more experienced in hindsight they were like this couple's a hot yeah it's like they were they were like 10 years younger but in in lifestyle years they were so much wiser yes yeah so if you're listening oh my gosh maybe we'll meet again someday yeah i mean they're they're great together now sort We have our act together now, sort of.
Yeah, we do. But you know what, Mr. Jones? What? They were probably the perfect couple for where we were because they sensed our imbalance. Yeah. And they handled, I mean, we still had so much fun with them.
I mean, I give her credit because when he made that comment about, are you sure you guys don't want a full swap she said don't pressure them yeah yeah you know so she had picked up on it too and she i mean she was laughing when she said that and he was laughing when he said that and you know what he said that after we finished playing and regardless of all that we had fun with them we did she was really a fun i mean she came up with all kinds of ideas Oh, that's right. She was like a choreographer. Yeah, she was.
She was like, I think we should do this, and you could be here, and he could be here, and she was so much fun. Yeah. Yeah, but they were just, they were a very wise couple. Yeah. And they handled us perfectly. They did. So, thank you for that.
So, that's the second kind of balance yes that you're talking about so we have learned to manage that and and you know what that still happens to us maybe not as dramatically right but um even like there can be an imbalance just with interest level of a couple and then we have to process that okay well well, why are you interested in them and I'm holding back a little or vice versa? You know, what is it that's kind of created this tension?
Yeah, and I'll tell you what, that you may not realize if you're new to this is the other couple, if they're more experienced, they're going to pick right up. Oh, yeah. Because we do it now. pick right up on an imbalance and and we choose to just exit yeah and not be a part of it because we we've been there and we know what it's like yeah and and you can't ignore it right it's not going to go away it's just going to get worse right okay so that's priority and balance. Yeah. And now the last one is? Perspective. Yeah, so what do we mean by that?
Well, honestly, the lifestyle can be pretty addictive. And that sounds like so melodramatic, but it is so true. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. So what about it about it is addicting could be addictive like for you as a woman what what do you get charged up about okay so i am not a young woman anymore you're 53 thank you do you really need to throw the numbers out there seriously okay so thank you. Yes, I am not a young woman anymore. So when I find a couple that finds you and I attractive, that is a powerful drug. It's like, oh my gosh, I still got it. You know, somebody's interested in me.
And it doesn't matter how old they are, if they're younger or older or our age that that's irrelevant the the fact of the matter is that we're still um as a couple we we still have people that find us attractive and intriguing yeah so there's a little bit of that new relationship energy oh yeah don't you remember yeah okay so i know it was 33 years ago right yes i do remember because we were working side by side yes yeah and the and the it was palpable yeah i mean we had our lives and then all of a sudden we met each other and nothing else mattered we just wanted to spend time together it was like i don't care i just want to be with this person yeah and it was that energy yeah you almost get tunnel vision yeah yeah and people are looking at you like oh look at you two yeah you're gaga over each other and no matter how much you try to be cool about it and professional about it people could see oh right well it's a little bit about it's a it's just like that it is like so you have this couple and they're attractive and they're interested in you and you get that tingling like in your stomach and you're like butterflies and oh my gosh these people are attracted to us and look at them yeah you know they're attractive too and we know we want to spend time so a lot of that is very similar to that feeling that you get when you meet that special someone and you just lose our sense of common sense and reality.
Yeah. And that's when it's really you're vulnerable to your priorities, to upsetting your priority. Right. Because you want to be with that person. You're afraid if you say no, they're not going to want to be with you. I know. Again. And you can get really drawn into it. So like, you know, we're on kick now and I'll be working on my project at night and all of a sudden I can hear that special ding on my phone. The kick message comes in. And it comes in, and it just starts, and it's like, oh my gosh, it's a Tuesday night.
And Tuesday nights are usually really boring, but now all of a sudden it's not boring anymore because this super hot couple is flirting with us on kick. And why do I want to work on my project when i could be like yeah flirting with these like super sexy people yeah and and i can lose perspective right and then like an hour and a half goes by and then you're like i'm like uh-oh what have i been doing i've been flirting with these people i know and, and I'm not complaining. No. It was totally worth it. Yeah. But again, it just, it kind of like shifts your perspective a little bit. It does.
You know, you have to, I guess, plan for that, and that kind of makes it okay. But it's when you start allowing it to interfere.
You know, again, I don't have, you know, a 12-year-old that I'm trying to help with his math homework right you know at the kitchen table i'm just working on my own stuff and and i'm the only one that's going to suffer i mean i know a lot of you guys have kids and you're trying to help them with their homework and get them ready for bed and you're running around a sports stuff and then you're at the same time so well we're adults engrossed with flirting with these sexy people so we're adults right i mean supposedly yeah and we have a marriage we have a relationship yeah it's one thing when you look at your teenage daughter or your teenage son and you say look son or daughter you know you're going to get caught up in these emotions and you know prem, premarital sex is dangerous.
And if you, you know, you're trying to be the parental about it and instill this wisdom upon them. Are you feeling like a hypocrite right now? Yeah. So then on the other hand, we're like flirting with these people on kick and foregoing things that are, that are, we're responsible for. So I think as adults, we're even more guilty of that. We should know better than that. Oh, right. We should have that perspective and that balance that, you know what? This is fun and it's sexy, but you're the main part of my life.
And I'm not going to allow this emotion that's overtaking me to interfere with these other important things in life, but it's, it's tempting and you can't help it. I know. I mean, let's face it. Let's face it. You're going to, you're going to succumb to that. Well, so again, you and I don't have kids at home, so I'm not helping a 12 year old with their math homework. You know Basically, the priority you and I have given up is we don't watch TV anymore. We are so out of touch on pop culture. It's kind of pathetic because we don't watch TV because we are spending our time doing other things.
So it's kind of easy for you and I. That's our perspective. But again, our priorities are somewhat different now that we don't have kids at home anymore.
So what you're going to find is that when things start to get out of perspective, and I think the emails that we got from the people who really wanted us to talk about this, all of them were, the female was the one who threw the flag and said, wait a a minute time out and i usually am the one you know i need to be a mom yep you know i need to be a wife i need to be a career person i need you know i'm calling time out yeah and or i'm just trying to run my household yeah and so guys guys you know when your wife says that to you you really need to listen because i don't know i from my perspective the guys are going on testosterone and adrenaline you guys are hound dogs yeah we are so you have to learn to trust your wife's judgment on this yeah but i will say in defense of the men though um guilt has a big part of this and guilt shouldn't be be confused with perspective.
Because if you spend time with another couple and then you feel guilty, you may want to step back for the wrong reasons. So if you feel like you're beginning to sacrifice priorities in your lives for the lifestyle. Ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? Because like, for example, we have dinner every week. Every Sunday night we have a family dinner. Yes, we do. And that's very important to us because my parents live close by and they're aging. We want to spend time with them. Our daughters are local. We want to spend time with them. Our grandchildren are local.
We want to spend time with them our daughters are local we want to spend time with them our grandchildren are local we want to spend time with them so if it ever got to a point where i was saying hey this couple's going to be in town sunday night you know let's skip family dinner and that's happened before we've had listeners that are like they'll come into town like during the weekend because they're attending a conference in dc and they'll and they'll ask to meet with us on Sunday night. And we, I mean, Mr. Jones sometimes will look at me. I'm tempted.
I know, he'll look at me and I'll be like, no. Yeah. We have family dinner. Yeah. And he's always gracious. And, you know, so to our listeners, I'm sorry, but Sunday nights are pretty sacred for us. Yeah. You know, that time goes by so fast. So if you find yourself giving up things like time with your kids or time within your community or your church or whatever your priorities are. Yeah. If you find that you're agreeing to things, then maybe your perspective is a little bit skewed.
Because this is it is a powerful drug it is yeah and you know we we always say i think this is very interesting we always say and people in the lifestyle say hey you know what if the worst thing that happens is that i have sex with mrs jones tonight because if you think of before we got in the lifestyle if if it was a Saturday and you said, hey, you know what, we're going to go on a run today. We're going to clean house in the afternoon and I've got to run some errands. But at five o'clock, it's going to be happy hour. And we're going to grill some steaks. Yeah.
And we all know what that means in the Jones house, right? Steak is code. Yeah. So, you know, if you say, okay, at five o'clock, we're going to have happy hour.
hour we're going to grill steaks and then you're going to get dressed up and you're going to put your boots on or we're going to get in the hot tub you know my heart is just like a flutter because that is like the ultimate for me that's right then you flash forward to the lifestyle and you have a date or you have a planned event or you go to an event and you think you're going to get another couple or get with another couple and they're not interested and you have this disappointment. Or for whatever reason, you don't connect. Yeah. Right.
So I feel like, you know, why should I be disappointed? Because if I'm disappointed, that's disrespecting you. That's right. I mean, I'm sorry. You're only going to have sex with me tonight. Right. So your perspective is, here's what I always say to myself. When I start to get a little bit disappointed, and it's okay to feel the disappointment because we all feel that disappointment, but you know what I tell myself? I'm like, okay, wait a minute. Time out, Mr. Jones. Your wife lets you have sex with other women. Yeah. You have nothing to complain about. Best wife ever, right here.
Right, and so that like re-centers me. Yeah, I would say so. And, I mean, I'm not exactly chopped liver, I'm thinking. No, you're not. Okay. Yeah, don't forget that part. I know. I can see through your dress you have on tonight. And I can see your nibbles. Oh, yeah. I forgot to put a bra on. Oops. Yeah, so you have that special way of reminding me. Well, and you know, the other thing I wanted to talk about is, as far as balance goes, if I start to feel like I can't achieve sexual satisfaction unless I'm playing with another couple, then something's wrong. Oh, yeah, yeah. Something's wrong.
Yeah. I don't, I have so much fun with other couples. I'm trying to say this right. I have so much fun with other couples. And it's exciting, it's stimulating, it's great for my ego. and we just generally like being with the couples that we play with because, again, we're social swingers, and we really enjoy the friendship aspect of the lifestyle. But the bottom line is that nobody can satisfy me like you can.
And that's the perspective I need to keep a grip on and what and what is this weekend it's mr mrs jones weekend so when we do our priorities and we in our calendar we carve out at least one weekend a month yeah where it's just the two of us we have to that happens to be this weekend yeah because we our fear is that if we don't do that then we then we get sucked into that addiction and then we rely upon that high that we get right instead of what the reality of the the relationship that we have yeah that that's why i keep saying that this is a powerful drug i mean it is a high yeah but i don't want that high to control me.
I want my relationship with you to be the thing that gets me off. And I think what people need to remember too is when all of a sudden you realize or you think that you're feeling guilty about something or your perspective is off or you're imbalanced, a knee-jerk reaction is to get completely out of the lifestyle oh right yeah and that can be just as big of a mistake so rather than like backpedal all the way out and go back to this safe zone you know have this conversation about okay wait a minute, wait. You know, why am I feeling this way? Is it guilt?
You know, are we sacrificing other things in our lives that are important to us based on our priorities? Are we out of balance? And let's get back into balance. It doesn't mean let's just quit. Right.
Well, and if you just say, I'm out, then the other person is going to be like huh yeah right and then that's going to create another i thought we were both 100 in yeah what's going on yeah you know so that's going to create an imbalance in itself yes that that the relationship is going to have to work through yeah so you might have to call time out yeah you might have a conversation and say, why do I feel like we're out of sync? Right. I mean, hello, we called an eight month timeout after our first time. You know, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah.
I don't, I still don't know why these people listen to us. I know. Well, eight months was kind of extreme, but you know, we're kind of slow, but yeah, I mean, we, we had to, you know, when we took that It is not easy to use, it is not easy to use, to figure this out and then it it took it it wasn't eight months intentionally it was just eight months to um because i was afraid to do lifestyle activities in our hometown. And it just took that much time to have another vacation where we could, you know, dip our toes stress-free, I guess. Right. So, yeah.
I mean, so you go back and you say, you know, hey, wait a minute. Remember, this is supposed to be fun. Yes, exactly. You know, this is supposed to be icing on the cake.
I know we said that before if you're not having fun you're not doing it right yeah so so being able to have some sort of method you know that you can come back and talk about to bring yourself back to center because we are each other's center and if we don't connect as a couple if we don't stay grounded as a couple then your point about being addicted to this you know the risk is that you fall for the addiction yes and that you become dependent on other people and as soon as you do that then things can go wrong and downhill just with one event i I would say things will go wrong.
You know, the only person I need to depend on is you. Right. And when that changes, that is when you get into scary times. Yeah. So the reason that we're bringing this up tonight is because you can maintain control over this. Yes, absolutely. And keep it in its proper perspective. You've set a priority. You've said how frequently you're going to do this and what it means to you. You've got it where you're going to, you've said we're going to eliminate this and we're going to add this. We have the balance.
We're both all of it this is what you want to get out of it right and so when you get to the perspective of something you know that's the final piece of this is when things get out of sorts then you can go back and start okay wait a minute let's talk about our priorities let's talk about balance and easily something should really surface to the you know quickly to say, oh, okay, I see what's going on here. Right. And so I think that's the overall message of this. Right. I mean, the lifestyle is fun. It's not necessary.
Yeah, and let's go back to the very beginning when we talked about bowling and softball and you know other activities that you have in your life that's what the lifestyle is if you allow it to become more than that then yeah it's on you it's really affecting your relationship more than it should because it's just an extracurricular right and that's the way the way that we look at it. And the discipline that we have is that I'm going to do you tonight, Mrs. Jones. You are? Yes. Oh, I'm so excited. You know, so deliberately putting our relationship first and keeping that in perspective. Yeah.
And then having the experience to be able to reflect back and to tell people no if you need this to say no yeah i mean that that really is a risk and you think and you've got to just and you know what the only way to stop listening to us and just apply it right because you're really not going to understand what we're saying until you apply it in your own lifestyle adventure yep i mean just have i guess the the way i would wrap it up is just to say you have to control the situation yes you can't let the lifestyle control you exactly Exactly. You're in charge. Right.
You get to decide how often you want to do it, how you're going to meet couples, how often you're going to meet couples, which couples you're going to meet. You're in control as a couple. Yeah, and don't think you have to be like keeping up. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Right. And you're beholding to no one except for yourselves. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Keeping up, don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Right. And you're beholding to no one except for yourselves. Yes. Yeah. So that makes it sound so easy.
So we should thank the folks that brought this to our attention and that took our little quiz and gave us the feedback. Absolutely.
So hopefully this was helpful and gives you something to think about and um i think we've been cerebral and boring enough i think we have some sexy times coming up here in our next segment yeah so when we come back i think we have some at least i have a pretty sexy snapshot i have a really sexy snapshot Okay, we'll be right back Welcome back to my personal favorite segment of the night snapshots so snapshots we um have had some fun experiences all packed in about nine days of each other this month yeah and my snapshot goes back to the hotel room last weekend with our um with our good friends so anyway we we uh played in the afternoon and then we went out to dinner embarrassed two uber drivers one on the way there and maybe yourself and you know i didn't really have a lot to drink that day but but I guess I just didn't care.
No, you didn't. Because we were away from where we live. Yeah. And you just decided to cut loose. I guess I did. Good for you. I know. So, yeah, embarrassing Uber drivers ended up back in this beautiful hotel. And our friend said, you know, if you want to go freshen up, come on back up to our room and we'll find something to do to wrap up the evening. When we came into the room, he had been doing her doggy style at the foot of the bed and she is just amazingly beautiful person. So she's kind of kneeling on the bench at the foot of the bed. He has his shirt on.
And as soon as we walk in, he grabs me and starts kissing me. And it's like, okay, well, I guess we'll catch up here. And I just kind of dropped my bag. And he quickly helped me out of my dress. And I think he left me in my panties, but that was about it. And, um, the same thing was happening with Mr. Jones. He was getting undressed to kind of pace himself to the other wife. And they were over, um, by the sofa in the room and, uh, the, the room had a mirror on one of the walls and the husband had me on the other side of the room.
And I had, I think I was pretty much This is the end of the walls and the husband had me on the other side of the room and I had I think I was pretty much naked by that point and had nothing on but my I think I still had my heels on and he had me first of all with my back up against the wall and he grabbed my wrists and he put them over my head and he was kissing me and just kind of pressing himself up against me and that was really hot and I really liked that. And he was really insistent and it was kind of weird because you and I walked in and it was from like zero to a hundred, like boom.
It was just go, wasn't it? I mean, yeah.
So he started kissing me with my back up against the wall and then he just he took me and he kind of forcibly flipped me over so turned you around yeah he turned me around so that my chest was up against the wall and he pushed up behind me and there was a mirror kind of perpendicular to where we were and he said, look at yourself, look over there he said, look at how hot we are together because he was pressed right up against my back and he was like, this is so hot, look at you, you're so hot and this is so amazing and he just kept talking and talking and all the sexy talk, and I was looking in the mirror, and I'm standing there naked in heels, and I have this incredibly sexy man pressed up against me from behind, and he's saying all this naughty stuff in my ear, and it was just so hot.
You know, I just can't explain it and at the same time you were on the far side of the room and you know she was pretty much doing the same thing to you she i think she had you undressed pretty quickly right yeah and and it was weird because we were both having like really and it was really intense because because it was fast. I mean, we walked in the room and then boom, they had us undressed and, and just like ravishing us. And, and it's like, I don't know. I just really liked that because it was so naughty and taboo because it happened so quick.
I didn't have time to like work myself back back into the situation which I didn't really need a lot of time because we had just played with them before dinner and when we went up to our room I think we might have like you know used the bathroom and brushed our teeth there was really nothing no time so it's not like we had been away from them for hours or anything but I don't know it was just it was intense. Like I can't even say the word hot. I mean, of course it was hot, but it was intense. And then just looking at myself in the mirror with this man that wasn't my husband, it was crazy.
And we weren't having sex. He was just pressed up against the back of me and he was, you know, like kissing the back of my neck and biting the back of my neck because he knew that's what i liked your snapshot that's my snapshot what looking at myself in the mirror with this man that's not my husband behind me completely pressed up against me saying all this stuff in my ear and it and then you were on the far side of the room it It's not like you were anywhere near me.
So it, it wasn't separate room play, but it was almost just like separate play at that point, because you were doing your own thing with his wife on the other side of the room. And I couldn't see you because he had me turned around. And they know our boundaries, and they're much more comfortable with a separate situation than we are, and they know that about us, and they know just how far to push us out of our comfort zone while not making us feel uncomfortable.
i love that about them they're they're experts at that they they know how to push our boundaries without scaring us but at the same time they they constantly are able to give us new experiences and it was hot i wasn't paying a damn bit of attention to you. That's because it was hot. Yeah. Wow, that's good for you. Yeah. Pressed up against a mirror with another guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. It was fun. We could do that if you'd let me put wall-to-wall mirrors in our playroom. If you could explain that to the rest of our family, you go for it, baby. Whatever.
Well, my snapshot is actually a snapshot okay that's really brief although i have to say that you know that my snapshot is from when our texas listeners came into town yeah and she had made the comment we we played the card game with them too yes we did and we we did a lot of the talking cards and one of the questions was like where do you like to finish and she made the comment that her husband always liked to finish inside of her yeah and then we went on to another card and that was the end of it because that's a pretty typical answer yeah yeah and and i have to go back to you know we did an episode not too long ago about attractiveness in the lifestyle.
Yeah. Well, let me tell you that this woman that was of this couple. Grief, yes. She was, she had an almost perfect body. Yes, she did. So when I say she's awesome and hot and beautiful, she is. Yes. And it's that you know i get an opportunity to play with somebody that's just amazingly put together like she is yes how she's given birth three times i have no idea i don't know yeah but anyway um she happened to be at one point in time towards the end of the playtime, giving me a blowjob. And she was looking up at me.
And one of my favorite things about when a woman is giving me a blowjob is me making eye contact with her while she's looking at me. And I happen to remember her saying that her husband always finished inside of her. And she looked up at me and I said I said you know what I'm getting close would you like to finish me in your mouth and she said she said um oh would that be okay and I was like are you freaking kidding me would that be okay and when she said that she said would that be okay? It was almost like this extra desire was put in.
She just went into like an overdrive at that point in time. It was almost like, this is something I don't get to do often, and because you've given me permission to do this, I'm going to do it for you. Right, right. And that's where I finished.
Yeah, that was a fun evening oh my gosh just her saying you know can i is it okay if you finish in my mouth i'm like oh my gosh of course you're i mean absolutely beautiful and i feel you know like we're getting all this attention and she's so focused on me and she's looking me in the eye and ah it was a snapshot yeah yeah oh they were a fun couple i i and he and i were having fun while you were you were yeah you were yeah we weren't laying there just like crocheting or whatever. No. As a matter of fact, I think he finished before I did. Yeah. And that doesn't happen a lot of times.
No, you're usually the early bird there. Yeah. So you guys were a lot of fun. Yes. Thank you very much for spending time with us while you were in town. So what do we have coming up before we close out? We're getting ready to go on a cruise. Oh, yeah. I know. It's a vanilla cruise. And I know people make fun of us for going on vanilla cruises, but I love vanilla cruises. So, this is March of 2017. Right. We are going on a vanilla cruise out of Miami the week of Easter. Yes. We are coming back to Miami on the 22nd of April. Yes.
And we will be going to Fort Lauderdale that night and going to Trapeze. So if you are in South Florida, we would love to meet you at Trapeze. Yes, we would. April 22nd. April 22nd. So please let us know if you're interested. So we have the vanilla. And this time, you know what? We're going to flip somebody. We've gotten closer and closer. You're so full of it. Yeah. I mean, I'd like to think we would. No, we will. Oh, good grief. No, we're going to flip somebody this time. You think so? That's my goal. Okay, that's your goal. Yeah. My goal is just have fun.
And then if we stumble across somebody. Honey mean we're gonna make this a priority okay we're gonna have the right balance and we're gonna keep things in perspective we're gonna flip a vanilla if the war okay here's my perspective if the worst thing i have to do is have sex with you for seven nights in a row on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, oh my, I have such a rough life. Yeah. So the other thing, so we have that coming up and we already mentioned Naughty in New Orleans. So if you're interested in meeting us there for our meet and greet, we would love to meet you.
So go to our website and sign up for that. And we are going to beg of you because, again, only about 2% or 3% of our listeners have ever sent us an email. Yes. So please do that. We want to hear from you. You can reach me at MrJones, and that's M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at WeGotAThing, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com. Or on the weekend, you'll hear from... Mrs. Jones, just throw an S in there. Yes. And I'm at WeGottaThing.com. Our website is WeGottaThing.com. You can follow us on Twitter at WeGottaThing. If you're on Cassidy, join our Cassidy community. Our Cassidy community is growing exponentially. It is.
And we are also now exploring SDC. So if you're on SDC, you know, look us up there. So did we forget anything? No, I think we forgot nothing. My most amazing drink in the world, which is a Strawberry Crush 43. You still think that? I got about one... I know I'm like almost done and I still think that. Okay. It is a delicious drink. Well, you're not slurring your words yet. No. Well, I think I timed it just right. So, yes. All right. Well, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones and we got a thing. What's your thing? Hello everyone, I'm Mr. Jones.
You can't look at me and start laughing. That's not fair. I don't know. Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones. You can't look at me and start laughing. That's not fair. Go ahead and burp or whatever it is you're going to do.
