Keeping up with the Joneses Our trip to Desire Pearl is set! Join us the week of November 11-18, 2017 as we bring T&A from The Curious Couple and C&D from the Swinging Downunder podcasts to meet you all for some sexy fun times. Book on our website through our affiliate link on the page titled "The Joneses Recommend." We also describe what happened at our second house party (note: it was better than the first). Discussion topic As much as we try to research, learn and discuss everything before stepping into the lifestyle the inevitable mistake(s) will happen to us all. This time we don't tell you how to avoid the mistakes but rather how to work through them and come out stronger on the other side. Mistakes will happen to experienced swingers as well as newbies! Snapshots We recently had a sexy experience with a couple and did something we've never done before: book a hotel room from our dinner table at a restaurant! Both of us share sexy stories from the evening.
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? well hello everyone i'm mr jones and I'm Mrs.
Jones, and we want to welcome you to episode 32 of the We Got a Thing podcast. This month, we are talking about swinger fails, learning from those inevitable mistakes. Yeah, we even made mistakes. Oh, we have? I know. I made at least one. That I'll admit to. I know, and swinger fails are going to happen. Yeah. I mean, we're all human and we're putting all those personalities together. So yeah, we got some stories to share and some of the ways that we work through some of our stuff. Yeah.
But the bottom line is that it happens to everybody, so we can't pretend that life is all hunky-dory all the time. That's right. Yeah. Thank you. some of the ways that we work through some of our stuff. Yeah. But the bottom line is that it happens to everybody. So we can't pretend that life is all hunky-dory all the time. That's right. Yeah. And no matter how great our podcast is and how excellent and in tune our message is with you, you're going to make a mistake. Yeah. What is the unspoken subtitle of this month's podcast? Yeah. Shit happens. Yeah.
He wanted to call this shit happens shit happens and i'm like i think we need to clean that up and pretty it up just a bit hey short and sweet everybody would get it that's true that's true so we have an announcement we do yes so we're going to go back to desire yes and we'd love for you all to come along. Yeah, we don't want to be alone. No. Well, we know there's going to be six of us. Yes. Yes. Yeah, we finally got together with T and A from The Curious Couple. And C and D from Swinging Down Under. Yes, and the six of us came up with a date.
And we are all registered and signed up to go to Desire Pearl. Yes, and it's going to be November 11th through the 18th of next year, 2017. Yes. Many of you, surprisingly, have indicated that you're interested, and that's fantastic. We could do a total takeover, honey. I know. We probably should have. But this year, we didn't do the takeover because we really didn't know how many people would be interested. So for this first year, we really don't know what we're doing. That's what it is. Well, yeah, honestly, that's what it is. We don't know what the hell we're doing. But we're really excited.
Yeah. So this is, instead of this being a takeover, really what we're doing is the six of us are going to Desire Pearl and we'd love for you to register and go the same week that we're going to be there. Right. And we are going to organize it. We're going to have a couple of special events planned for our listeners and we're going to have some goodie bags for everybody. Yeah. And, you know, we, and as you know, we still have 11 months to figure all this out. So as time goes on, we will be updating you on, uh, some of the things that we put into place. Yeah.
And in order to be included in everything, um, it would be great if you would register through our affiliate link, our desire resorts affiliate link on our website. Um, so go to we got a thing.com. Many of you have already done that and indicated your interest and you'll get an email or you already got an email. So if you don't see it, check your spam filter. Right. But go ahead and go to our website, and then at the bottom of the page, there's a link that says the Joneses Recommend. Click into there, and you'll see a link to Desire Pearl, or RM.
But anyway, you click through there and make your reservation, and we are notified when you do that that and we'll have all the information that we need to include you yes and the other thing that you should keep in mind i don't want to alarm anyone but you know mrs jones you and i have been to pearl that week twice twice yeah and it will fill up yeah i think both weeks we were there it was just about full yeah and i think between the three podcasts i think we have about 80 people who have expressed an interest yeah so you if you're serious about it and you can go the 11th through the 18th you might want to go ahead and and book yeah i mean you can book your airfare later but you know if you can go ahead and book out it's a saturday to saturday and the um the saturday we all come home is a saturday before thanksgiving so i kind of like going that week because you know thanksgiving week no matter what field you work in you have a little bit of time off that week everybody has usually thursday off for sure unless you're in retail and and have to do the dreaded black friday thing but you know most people have some time off so off.
So you come home and. Well, you're depressed anyway when you get home. You're depressed. And honestly, this vacation is not a vacation to rest. Yeah. You come home worn out. We are going to have fun. Right. We hope that you all come. We are going to have a lot of fun. I mean, the goal is to not sleep. I mean, you're going to, you know, you sleep by the pool or down at the beach on the beach beds during the day a little bit. And the goal is just to have fun and to get to know people and to just enjoy the hot tub and to drink all the fun drinks that Desire makes up. Yeah.
So once you get registered, then what we're going to do is we're going to start working on the couple of events that we're going to organize yeah and we'll notify you out because we'll have your information at that point in time so we'll keep you all posted and i think i'm going to create a little forum on our website so that everybody that's attending can get to know each other yeah can get in there and get to know everybody and we can get to know you as well so that's great november 11 through 18 2017 almost a whole year i know but it'll go by quick yeah I don't know.
everybody, and we can get to know you as well. So that's great. November 11 through 18, 2017, almost a whole year. I know, but it'll go by quick. Yeah. Speaking of the website, some of you have subscribed to our newsletter. Yep. Not many of you, but we're making progress though. It's not quite hurt my feelings yet, but, um, in order, I've kind of pimped out Mrs. Jones to get you to come to the website and subscribe because my second blog that I wrote is called Swinging Through the Holidays. And I'm not going to lie, like, you know, I try really hard to, to not, like, I love Mr.
Jones's sense of humor. But the more I laugh at him, and more i tell him that he's funny just it just gets out of control it spirals so i i usually try not to tell him that he's like super funny but i have to admit this is actually hilarious swinging through the holidays yeah so if you subscribe this is delivered to your inbox and there's some things in the newsletter that you're not going to find on our website, like Mrs. Jones's drink recipes. And I think the last one had the coffee tini in it. We also have... Well, and tonight, what are we drinking, Mr. Jones?
We are drinking some sort of peppermint something. A candy cane martini, because it's December. It's the holidays. Oh, and that's why you have your Mrs. Claus suit on. That's true. Yeah. And by the way, I mean, what else would I have on when we're podcasting in December? Yes. And the swinging through the holidays blog has a picture of Mrs. Jones and her Santa suit. Oh, it does. Yeah. Well now. Oh, sure enough. Yeah. So, okay, well, I'll read two of them of the ten. Oh, a teaser. A teaser, yeah. A teaser. Okay. Here's one. Number seven.
You hug or kiss your holiday party guest goodbye, and you silently repeat to yourself, lips closed, hands above the waist. Lips closed, hands above the waist. It does blur a little bit, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, because my hand always goes for the ass. I'm used to swinger dates. And let me see. Oh, here's another one. Number eight. You love it when Christmas falls on a Wednesday because your out-of-town guests come in after the first weekend and leave before the next weekend. That's right. It doesn't mess up your lifestyle dates. Yeah, so that's just a couple.
So please subscribe to our newsletter, and you'll get this in your inbox once a month. That's right. It doesn't mess up your lifestyle. Right. Dates. Yeah. So that's just a couple. So please subscribe to our newsletter and you'll get this in your inbox. That's right. Yeah. So thanks for that. Well, I guess it's time to talk about keeping up with the Joneses. Right, Mr. Jones. Right. Okay. So we have had some fun this past month. Yep. Oh, my goodness. So the first thing, and we, we talked about this, um, during our last podcast, we kind of gave like a little teaser.
And, um, the first thing we did was we went to the teaser was Mrs. Jones giving a triple blow job. Well, there was that that's right. That was my snapshot. Wasn't it? Yeah, that was the teaser. I'm sure you'll remember now. So we went to an amazing birthday party for Kay of the couple Jay and Kay, who host the That Couple Next Door podcast. She and Jay live locally, as some of you know, if you listen all the time. And Jay arranged this amazing birthday party for her. We went to a swanky hotel. And then we took a party bus into Washington, D.C. to this amazing restaurant.
And had an incredible dinner there. There was entertainment. The food was amazing. Yeah, they talk about all the details on their podcast. But we came back to this swanky hotel, and there were five couples that were part of this party, and we had an amazing time together. All five couples were very easygoing and connected, and we just had an amazing time. And I need to go ahead and say, um, because Jay and Kay did say this on their podcast that we had, um, one of the couples was a surprise guest and it was Paige and Penn from the Swinger Diaries.
Um, the Swinger Diaries was the first podcast that Jay and Kay listened to when they got into the lifestyle. So they've struck up a very special friendship with Page and Penn. And they had never met in person before that, but they have this long distance friendship that they had established. I just had an idea. What? So think about that. So J and K listened to Page and Penn, and that's why they got in the lifestyle. And so J and K invited Page and Penn to a party. Yeah.
Well, so if you're listening out there and the Joneses are responsible for getting you in the lifestyle, then when you put on a party, you need to invite us. Honey, that is genius. I know. Yes. Hopefully people out there are listening and I'm taking notes. Yeah. That's right. I mean, Paige and Penn came a long way for that party. Hey, I know. We'll travel. Yeah, that's right. So anyway, it was just an amazingly good time. One of the other couples we've been friends with a long time, and then we met a brand new couple.
Well, they're not brand new to lifestyle, but they were brand new to us and hit it off. So we had so much fun. Yeah. So we won't go into the details of that because if you tune into episode 15 of the that couple next door podcast they go into tremendous detail about what happened and it is a hot steamy podcast let me tell you we would just be repeating ourselves yeah so so the next thing we did is we had our own house party house party number two is in the books. Yep. And it was wonderful. I'll say. Yeah, we had a good time.
I think most of our guests had a really good time, and everything went pretty smoothly. We did have a run-in with some toothpicks on the floor, but that's a long story. Yeah, we had one minor casualty.
Yeah,ty yeah band-aid and some neosporin was necessary but yeah other than that i think it went smoothly um we did something a little different with this house party that i think went well we the first our first house party that we had last summer you know we emailed everybody afterwards and thanked them for coming and said, you know, give us any feedback that, um, you can think of to help make our next house party, you know, run more smoothly or, or just anything, any ideas you have.
So a couple different people suggested that maybe we have some sort of a light dinner at the beginning of the party so that, um, you know, we get carved up a little bit and absorbs the alcohol and it kind of gives you some energy to push through the night um i mean we had hors d'oeuvres and snacks and stuff but i think people got kind of hungry you know when you're using all that energy to have wild and crazy sex for a long time and then you're up till two o'clock in the morning you've kind of burned through all of your your dinner. So we did that. We had like a light pasta.
We had people come like an hour earlier than normal. And we did like a pasta bar so that we could meet everybody's dietary needs. You kind of did everything individually so people could add on meatballs or sausages and we had salad and bread. Enough about the food. Let's get to the fun part. I know, but we made it so that there was something for everybody, no matter what people's dietary needs were. Yeah, there was someone for everybody. Well, there was that too. I mean, right.
But I think the thing that I really liked about the dinner part was that people arrived and they got to share a meal together before we got down to business, so to speak. And I think it helped break the ice because we had more people at this party than we had at the one in the summer. So there were some people there that had met other people before. And I think it was just an opportunity to sit down in a very normal setting where it was non-intimidating, non-threatening. And, you know, everybody was dressed properly. I mean, some of us didn't have a lot on, but we were covered.
So there wasn't that aspect of it, and I think it was just a nice way to kind of settle in before all the craziness started. Yeah, so did you write your letters of apology? For? To the only three people at the party that you didn't have sex with there's always next time needless to say mrs jones wasn't standing on the sidelines this time no no i just decided to jump in the deep end of the pool and and i didn't drown yeah yeah so that and that kind of ties into exactly what we're headed towards with our topic tonight, you know. Yeah. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Yeah, so we had a good time. We did. Overall, I mean, there were, there were some people at this party that didn't come to the last one, and, but there was a core group that had been here the first time, so people were generally more comfortable. including us this time around. And we didn't spend as much time fretting about hosting. Yeah. I mean, I think because most people had been to our home before, so they kind of knew where everything was. And, you know, our friends are pretty self-sufficient. So I think everybody, you know, found everything they needed.
And if they needed something, you know something you know they would come find us and yeah you know we would take care of whatever needed to be taken care of yeah and another difference from the last one and this one was people use the entire basement you know last time everybody stayed in one room right and this time we have a spa room that has a massage table and a lounge and there were people in there i missed that yeah i'm so disappointed i didn't get to i i would have just loved to stuck my head in the door and watch that i thought that was hot you were in the hot tub and then there's the the other room where we had the aero bed yeah there were people in there yeah and then of course the playroom and the only time that and we had talked ahead of time and i guess we'll talk about this in a minute but but i i did make one mistake uh and that and i played host i blame it on the fact that i was playing host because somebody said hey can we go get in the hot tub and i said sure you know i had and we had prepped it yeah we had like a dozen beach towels by the back door you know and everybody knew that that the hot was open for business.
And you were in the playroom playing and I was in the playroom and somebody asked, can we go use the hot tub? So I left the playroom and I went outside with the person and we were talking on the way out. And I said, well, you know, I'll just hop in with you because we were in the middle of a conversation and it was cold out. I didn't want to stand there freezing. So I jumped in and he turned around, and he said, oh, I'll be right back. I need to get a towel.
And then he was gone for like five minutes, and I'm out there by myself thinking, oh, geez, I came out here, and I left you inside playing, and I was hoping that everything went okay. Everything was fine. Yeah. Well, I found that. I was being well taken care of. That was the only time that I really had that moment of, oh, shit, I screwed up. But again, when I flipped to host mode, I wanted to get out there. I wanted to open it up, turn it on, make sure everybody was comfortable. And then I forgot.
Well, but I knew, I guess, and you and I had done a lot of talking ahead of time about how we were going to manage this event because I did struggle the time before. And the whole strategy was that we're going to keep checking in with each other. And I knew you knew where I was because you were in the room when I started playing with this person. And then when you left, I guess I didn't get concerned because, well, first of all, you know, we're such good friends with everybody that was there. And we played with everybody before.
So, you know, there's, you know, no issues about trust or ulterior motives or anything like that. It's just all, I guess, good, clean fun. But that's what I thought the first party. Right. I know. So that's why I didn't know how you were going to do but anyway i know but then our friend did come in and tell me that mr jones was in the hot tub and um and i was like well okay so i i figured well you know where i am and now i know where you are and and if you're out there then you must be okay with what i'm doing because you know exactly what I'm doing and who I'm with. Yeah. So, and it was fine.
Yeah, I had just spent myself the second time. So I needed a hot tub break. Yeah, I thought I was done after two. And then I came in from the hot tub. But that wasn't the case, was it, honey? No, that wasn't the case. Well, what happened is, you know, not too well. I got in the hot tub after you did, but then after a while, um, about half of the couples were spending the night and the other half of the couples had to drive home. So, you know, we, we got to a point where the couples that needed to drive home were, they all kind of left at the same time.
And I think it was probably like, I don't know, what was it like one ish or yeah, I think it was about one-ish at that point. So after they all left, we had all kind of cleaned up the snacks and everything and put the food away so that it wouldn't spoil and we wouldn't wake up until the next morning. And then after we put everything away, the people that were spending the night, there were four couples total, including us.
We all looked at each other and were like, what do you want to do now i'm i'm not sleepy well i'm not sleepy either so we all all eight of us ended up back in the playroom yeah and i think the reason i was able to finish the third time well first of all i was enjoying the lady that i was with you had two ladies that totally instigated that whole thing you were sitting on the couch but you had the relaxing and they went over and fetched you yeah but you had what i would call a fourth of july grand finale or orgasm when i was finishing the third time and that's what sent me over the edge yeah i that's i had a very persistent friend taking care of me yeah he he wasn't going to stop until something happened and your pre-eruption noises had had brought in quite the crowd as they heard that familiar well I could tell I was gonna ramping up I was gonna have one of those orgasms that where I kind of make buffalo noises and so I warned because the lady you were playing with she and I were on the bed right next to each other.
So like her ear was six inches from mine. And I was like, I might be bursting one of your eardrums in about 15 seconds. And I was just, yeah. Yeah, you did. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. It was a success. So I think we're going to do these. Maybe we have like a quarterly rotation.
We've been instructed by our friend that these are quarterly events so yeah so i guess like late winter we'll be doing one yeah early spring yeah yeah um then what did we do so then we had met a couple um at one of these events where um we had lots of mutual but we had, had never met them personally and just really enjoyed meeting them. And, you know, both times we had seen this couple, we were with several other couples. So, you know, you get to talk, but you don't really get to have that in-depth sit down conversation. And they were just a fascinating couple and they were oh, so sexy.
So we plan to go out to dinner with them yeah which we just did on friday night yeah we did something that we've never done before we went and got a hotel room after dinner i know we've always either gone back to somebody's house yeah or here or here or we've gone or we've like gone away for the weekend with people. Yeah, and you were like a kid. I was embarrassed. You would have thought we sent you in to buy condoms or something. I know, that's exactly what I felt like. So she made the reservation. The restaurant that we went to was actually almost attached to the hotel.
It was this really neat, like, new shopping, dining district up north. And it was kind of halfway between both of our homes. So we met there for dinner, and then the hotel was literally just almost, it was in the same building. So she made the reservation, and then the four of us walked in there to check in, and it was just like, oh, my gosh, I know these people know exactly what we're doing. Well, first of all, there were four of us going to one room. Right. Secondly, we didn't have any luggage. No. We just had a cooler. Well, we had a cooler and my swinger bag.
And then here we come three hours later with the swinger bag and the cooler and the differences. And the major sex hair. You two ladies ladies your hair was sticking up all over the place and we just kind of smiled and waved and walked by the lady it was ridiculous and she smiled at us too oh my gosh i i don't know that she smiled at us because i couldn't even look over there she works in the hotel industry okay that's like the tsa people and sex toys it's not that big of a deal to see They see it all the time. It was for me. Or you're going to college, whatever.
It's just, they're professionals. So anyway, we had a great time. That was so much fun. Yeah, and you know, I just thought of one other story. What? We went to a vanilla event over the weekend, and I did a little bit a springer move. Oh, with Mr. Jones's parents and our daughter, like 10 feet away. Well, you know, we went to a, I can't turn my back on you. And we went to a wine event. We're kind of wine snobs. Yeah. And it was a large gathering. Gosh, there were probably what, a hundred or so people there. Oh, more than that. Yeah. Yeah. In a big room.
And yeah, my parents came with us and our And I'll see you next time. And it was a large gathering. Gosh, there were probably, what, a hundred or so people there? Oh, more than that, yeah. Yeah, in a big room. And yeah, my parents came with us and our daughter and another friend. And, you know, when we walked in and said, what did I start doing? I know you did it too, though. You won't admit it. You were looking for all the swingers. No, well, no, I'm like scoping out the room looking for people like, okay, they're not swingers. There's no way they are. Well, you know, they could be.
And then I started to say, okay, well, who are the most attractive people in the room? And I had spotted this couple and she had black leather pants on and she had a black. She had a cute little derby hat on. Derby hat on. She was adorable. She had black glasses. Of course, they were about 20 years younger than us. Well.
But anyway, and I said, no, I'm going to be good be good today i have to i'm sitting across the table from my mom so later i get up to go um the meal was over and everybody was mingling yeah i went to the to the restroom and i came back and there's this woman and she's standing at a table with her back towards me she's getting a cup of coffee and I and I looked up and she had her tag from her shirt was sticking up and so I stopped and I leaned into her and I said hey you don't mind if I fix your tag to you and she said oh no thank you so I flipped her tag down then when I flipped her tag down I saw a tattoo on her back and I said oh what's your tattoo and she said oh it's bike run swim so obviously she's a triathlete and then that opened the door and we started talking about marathons and then she and i were just standing there talking and i was talking to our daughter having a conversation with her and then i turn around and there's mr jones talking to this beautiful young girl and I'm like oh, Lordy, he has forgotten where he is.
So I walk over there. And of course, your conversation was perfectly appropriate because you were talking about exercise and running and all that stuff. So I started chatting with you all, too. And then her husband came up and, oh, my. See? He was pretty strikingly handsome.
Yeah anyway and it was my my well then she and i were in the same industry so then we started talking about our jobs and yeah so we had a lot in common with them it just goes to show that you know our social skills are improving yes because i just i didn't even think about it i just saw and I saw the tag, and instantly I'm going, yep, there's my in. Hopefully my mom won't come and yell at me. Yeah. Anyway, that's Keeping Up with the Joneses for this month. And when we come back, we're going to talk about Shit Happens. That's right. We'll be right back.
welcome back to segment two of our episode this evening this title again is swinger fails learning from those inevitable mistakes aka shit happens yeah so what we've decided is that we can't bury our heads in the sand we all have things go wrong in the lifestyle. Sometimes those things are just like, you know, little bumps in the road and you're like, oops, I guess we won't do that again. Or sometimes they are showstoppers where you just kind of have to stop and regroup.
And we get a lot of messages from our listeners about things that have gone wrong and you know and a lot of times it's right at the beginning of their journey that's the biggest key yeah and then it so if you start out in your lifestyle journey and you have a bad experience or even worse if you have two bad experiences in a row you might think oh my gosh this is not for me and then you listen to podcasts not just ours but other podcasts and you hear about how much Thank you. two bad experiences in a row, you might think, Oh my gosh, this is not for me.
And then you listen to podcasts, not just ours, but other podcasts. And you hear about how much fun everybody else is having. You're like, Oh my gosh, we must be doing this wrong. We're not good at this. We're done. Yeah. And the, and the reason that this topic came up again, thank you all for emails, keep sending emails with your stories. Um, some people have emailed us and said, But, you know, boy, it sounds like you guys just never make any mistakes. And you make it sound easy. And, you know, that doesn't sound realistic. And, you know, that's really not the case.
You must not have listened to all of our podcasts. Because we didn't start off our journey on the right foot.
No, took an eight month breather i mean it wasn't just like we took a week off to figure out what we did wrong we had to really reevaluate our whole mindset yeah and we had you know the guy that was really overly aggressive with you that we talked about in one of our episodes and and of course the house party issue in maryland that night right and and those and that house party issue yeah and that one that we had last winter and then the my issues we had at our first house party and then my issues that i had at naughty new orleans you know those have all happened different times.
And some of them have been very recent. So these weren't newbie mistakes. This is just you're in these situations and they become very unpredictable. And so what was the catalyst for this was we got an email from a couple who gave us permission to share their message. And we're going to do that later. But basically he was saying, you know, that they thought that they were prepared and then they made this mistake and they felt so bad about it. And anyway, what I noticed in his message was not the fact that they made a mistake, but I noticed how they handled themselves after the mistake.
And I thought, you know what, they did such a good job. They did so many more things after the fact, right? That's really the message that we need to talk about. And so we're here tonight to tell you that you're going to screw up, whether it's your fault or not, you're going to screw up. And to know that it's coming that way, you need to prepare for when it happens, how to handle it. Right.
And it it might be that one partner screws up or it might be that you screw up as a couple you you just don't know what's going to happen but things are just it's inevitable right and we we we've talked about how to prepare for this ad nauseum right we've talked about you got to know. You know, you got to, is your relationship, you know, strong enough to withstand the risk that you're taking? Right. You got to learn how to read people's profiles and read into those profiles to make sure that you're choosing the right people. We did the whole risk rewards episode.
We talked about rules and boundaries, you know, reconciling your faith. I mean, we've gone on and on about how to prepare, but even after all of that... You've got to do it. Yeah. I mean, you can talk about it all you want, but until you actually put yourself out there and make that connection with either another single or a couple, depending on what you're looking for, you're just not going to know how you're going to react. And you're not going to know necessarily how to respond in the moment because you're really thinking on your feet. Yeah.
And so there's, we're just going to go quickly through a few factors that you have to keep in mind, because when you put yourself in this environment, you know know when you're sitting in the comfort of your own home and you've listened to a podcast or you've done some research and you're talking through your rules and you know you're having your morning coffee and everything is fine and it's nice and calm but when you get into a swinger situation that's a whole different environment right you're thinking on your feet I mean, it's easy to plot it out sitting in your, um, kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee, you know, you know, just talking about stuff with your spouse.
It sounds so easy then because you're in a very safe environment. Especially if you're new and this is your first time because you're walking into, so number one, you're walking into an environment that's unfamiliar. Right. So that doesn't lend itself to good decision making. You're in uncharted territories with your relationship. You've never shared the love of your life with someone, and you're about to experience that. I would say there's a little bit of stress that comes along. A little bit of stress? With that. I mean, it's exciting. I guess it's like a roller coaster. Right.
Personally, I don't get on roller coasters, but, you know, from what I've been told, you know, that hill, climbing up that first hill, it's terror and excitement all at the same time. Right. And, I mean, that's exactly how it feels when you're entering into this sexy environment and you know something's going to happen. And then you throw alcohol in the mix. Yeah. And then you remember you being a teenager and doing dumb things after you started drinking. So that alters your ability to think clearly. I mean, yeah, there's a fine line between liquid courage and just becoming sloppy stupid.
Yeah. And then we all have the hormones that get all ramped up. You mean guys have the hormones yeah yeah we start thinking with the wrong parts of our body the wrong brain takes over we become a little bit irrational yeah yeah so all this stuff is happening and you may not even realize that it's taking you out of that that comfort zone and then i think i think what's the sad the sad thing about it is we've had so many people tell us that they felt like they were duped by other couples. Right.
And I'm hoping that that's the minority of the situations out there and not the majority I think it is. But the fact is you don't know what other people's motivations are. Right. And so no matter how nice they seem or how connected you are, you really just need to keep an eye on when something doesn't go, when something doesn't seem right to kind of trust your judgment. But anyway, you just never know when other people might have a different agenda than you. Right.
Well, I think the other thing, you know, you're talking about other people's agendas, but the thing I struggle with is I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Right. And, and this sounds really terrible, but I know you love me unconditionally. So. That doesn't sound terrible. Well, I, I know it doesn't, but that's only the first part of the sentence. There's a comma. Oh, but. Yeah. But because I know you love me unconditionally, sometimes I tend to take advantage of that.
And if I have to hurt somebody's feelings, and this is totally wrong, but if I have to hurt somebody's feelings, sometimes you tend to neglect the one you love the most in order to not hurt somebody else's feelings because i know you'll forgive me and that and that happens in real life i mean that that happens in normal life yeah everyday life yeah and so but it's kind of it's magnified though in the lifestyle yeah and and because you don't you know you're with strangers and you don't want to embarrass yourself so you, you know, sometimes you're like, well, I'm going to go ahead and do this.
And then if I'm upset about it, I'm going to take it out on you later, even though that's not your thought process. That's what happens. It's irrational, but you can become very irrational in this stressful environment. Yeah. And then, I mean, let's face it. The reality is now we're, this may be a surprise to you, Mrs. Jones, but we are on the older side of the swinging population. Don't tell anybody.
and not everybody has an empty nest like we do so for those of you who have babysitter issues and maybe you can only get out once a month you know you don't that's pressure yeah you don't realize it but you're looking at the clock you got two hours before you gotta leave this is you're not going to be able to do this again for another month and you're And that affects your, remember the be picky and be patient thing. Yeah.
before you got to leave this is you're not going to be able to do this again for another month and you're and you're that affects your remember the be picky and be patient thing yeah and persevere yeah yeah so all of the things that we just mentioned if you combine all of that that's a perfect storm right for screwing up right because you're like damn it i'm on the clock here and i'm not and if strike out tonight, we're not going to get to try again for 30 more days until, you know, we have another free weekend. So, you know, people will push the envelope because of that.
And, and it's probably a very, um, like subconscious thing. I'm sure they're not deliberate about that, but, but that all of these, these things are in the back of your mind and your mind is trying to like juggle all of these different factors and prioritize them and figure out what the best thing is to do under pressure. Yeah. And what you're going to feel like. So having said all that, then you go to an experience and somebody makes a mistake. Right. Or you make a bad decision.
And what you're going to feel like is at any other point in your marriage or your relationship, if you've had a really bad argument, just think of how you feel then and how you respond to each other then, because that's exactly where you're going to be. Only it's going to be worse. I mean, it's going to be more dramatic, I guess. It's going to be magnified. Yes. Because it's not like arguing about money or the kids or, you know, any vanilla issues. Household chores. Yeah. Because when you're arguing about that stuff in real life, your relationship really usually never comes into play.
That's like rock solid. It's trusted. It's never questioned. You never go there. But when somebody has been sleeping, playing with your wife or having sex with your wife, that's a very different perception is that she had a little bit too much fun. Yeah.
So then you have that added emotion, you added into it and so you know kind of prepare yourself for being in that situation and how do you normally deal with it when you have these disagreements right you know how does how is your personality you know what is it about your personality how you react like I've learned a lot about myself as far as how I react to things. You usually start cleaning the house. I do. I become very quiet at first, and then I'm just a volcano, and then I just blow. But it usually takes a couple days. I know. I know, and I know that it's coming, too. I know.
I try to steer clear.
And I to stop it but it just it just blows like it won't but this is different because this is something that we want to resolve right away you know we usually don't take two days to stew on this usually it's so emotional that you know we usually attack it right away and i think that's what most people do okay but you just said we attack it but one thing i think you and i are very good at mr jones is we don't attack each other yeah right so you know that's something that um that you you need to i guess think about that's a very very difficult concept yeah um and we've heard other people talk about this recently but um well let's talk about us so like what about 10 years ago we made Thank you.
Yeah. And you went along with it begrudgingly. Well, not begrudgingly, but I could tell you weren't as enthusiastic as I was. I wouldn't have made the decision. Yeah. And then when it went south and we had to recover from that, I was braced for a personal attack. I told you so. Yeah. Yeah. That never materialized. And so. No, it was such a big deal. We knew we had to come together.
Yeah yeah we had to partner together to get through that and we did and so no matter what your perception is about whose fault it was or even if i said to you i'm comfortable with the situation go do what you want and then i watch you do what you want and i get mad at you you have to not blame you can't say well you told me this and then i did that you have to just kind of accept the person's feelings are valid and you've got to care for them and attack the issue and say okay well let's talk about what happened right you know and to your point you know you attack it together as a as a team that way you get past the whole blaming you know each other for what went wrong and that usually doesn't lead to anything positive well right so like back to the topic not the shit happens topic but the real title of our podcast learning from those inevitable mistakes so now what what i you know i think we need to focus on is learning from it because so far this has been like a major debbie downer episode yeah you know so you can learn from these events in these episodes so that you can still have these experiences and and you know unfortunately you know people do learn from their mistakes so now now when we go to this type of event you know we could hopefully avoid that happening again by doing this right you know by not um talking to couples individually you know let's stay shoulder to shoulder tonight you know because a lot of times i think people will kind of you know wander off and and one person will make a connection with a couple and assume that their spouse is going to have that same connection once you bring them into the picture and then that doesn't happen and then you create that unbalanced you know right play experience that doesn't usually end well so you need to know i i think i think the main the word to start on this is that you need to start talking about it at the right time.
And that, and you need, and that might be too soon or too late. You know, sometimes you got to get maybe 12 hours or eight hours beyond it and you got to stew about it. You know, sometimes I need a couple of days, not because the problem was so big, even if it's something, I guess, relatively minor, but it wasn't an ideal experience. Sometimes it takes me a couple days to figure out what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that way. So I figure there's no point in talking to you about it until I can at least begin to articulate what I'm thinking.
And then after a couple of days and I kind of get a handle on what I feel, then I want to talk to you about it so that because you know me so well, once I start spewing this stuff out, not yelling spewing, but just like doing a brain dump of this is what I'm feeling and I don't understand it. But when this happened, it kind of, you know, it made me feel this way or or I don't know why I wanted to run out of that room and not play with those people. Yeah. And then because you know me so well, then you can start either asking me questions or you can say, well, maybe it was this.
Well, because I know you so well, I give you those couple of days that I know that you need only because I know you and I know how you process things. Now, I may say something right away like, hey, do you want to talk about this? And then we will a little bit. Yeah, but I can tell when you really don't want to. So then I know that I've opened the door for you and then I just have to wait until you're ready to, once you've processed it. But during that time I'm waiting, I don't, I don't get defensive. You know, I don't think you're mad at me.
I just wait for you to, you know, get to the point where you want to talk about it. And then we start talking about it. So, and then the thing about it is when you do talk about it, you have to be honest. Yeah. You know, that's critical. You can't clam up and say, I don't want to talk about it. Or you can't say, well, it was nothing. Or you can't say, well, it was my fault. You have to say, you know, I know I told you that it was okay if you did that. But for some reason, when I saw you do that. It wasn't okay.
It wasn't okay okay and and you might feel bad for saying that or you might not want to admit that because you're really the one that's saying that i had the issue but you have to be honest about it and then on the other side of the coin i have to listen to or the other person has to listen to you say that and then say well um okay well let okay, well, let's talk about that instead of, well, thank goodness. I thought it was me, but it was you, you know, you can't, you can't go there either. You have to, you have to say, okay, well, this person's really barren. They're so I'm being honest.
So let's, you know, tell me more, you know, what's on your mind and what happened. I mean, I guess you always have to keep that mindset that you're a team you know you have individual feelings but you're approaching this lifestyle as a team so if the team's not having you know fun collectively then you know individually you're not going to be having fun either yeah you know so you know you just have to talk it out and and sometimes there's no solution. Like, I know Mr.
Jones, every time I start talking about something or complaining about something, like something around the house or our kids or whatever, Mr. Jones always goes into fix-it mode. What do you want me to do to fix it? Not always. I've gotten better later. You have. Because I'll say, okay, hold on. I think I just mentioned this last episode. You know, is this something I'm supposed to fix? Or am I just supposed to sit here with this dumb look on my face and listen to you? You're supposed to sit there with a dumb look and listen to me until I request some sort of feedback. Right.
Because sometimes I just need to talk out loud. Yeah. To just to think out loud, I loud i guess yeah and that's your job to listen to me and i think one of the things that honestly you surprised me with when we were talking about this topic before you brought up the analogy of uh a sporting event i know i hate sports you said i never watch any sports like if it's a close football game and the field goal kicker misses with no time left and they lose by two points or the referee makes a bad call, the coach will either say one of two things.
They either rant about the officiating or they fire the kicker. Right. or they say, you know what? We had plenty of chances to win that game. That's right. And it wasn't that one thing that really sunk us. It wasn't the kicker's fault that it was tied going into overtime and that it was up to him to win the game. I mean, that's his job, yes, but the other people on the team could have helped him avoid that situation.
Yeah, so you were saying that even if there is a tipping point during the evening that caused things to, um, spill over, there were probably a series of things that led up to that. Right. There's a series of unfortunate events that, that have, you know, compiled on top of each other. That's not really the right way to say that, but you know, it piles on and then all of a sudden you're not having fun anymore. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, approach it that way. And that, that helps you not blame one particular incident or one particular person for what's going on. Right.
And the whole thing is about learning. Yeah. The whole thing is about learning. So I guess the other thing that, and we've talked about this a little bit, but I just kind of want to reinforce it. You don't need to rush to jump back on the horse. You know, sometimes I think people think, oh my gosh, you know, that didn't go well. We need to try it again before we lose our nerve.
And I think sometimes it might be better to just back up a little bit and to, you know, kind of let your relationship settle back down and take that time to talk about stuff and then take the time to talk about, well, how could we handle this differently in the future to avoid that? You know, are we not picking the right couples?
Are we not communicating with them about what our play preferences are where our boundaries are and we're getting it over our heads yeah are we you know are we um moving too fast throughout the evening well that's what i was going to say not only the evening but did you move too fast through the lifestyle itself yeah you know were you completely honest because if like if one of you says i'm ready to do this and i'm in right and then you get into it and then you have a bat falling out and you say well i wasn't ready for this or you have to you say okay but you told me you were right you know well sometimes we say things and we don't really understand or we weren't being completely honest.
So what it may be an indication of is something that happened in the weeks or months prior to while you're talking about doing this, that somebody wasn't completely, either didn't completely understand or wasn't completely open and honest about. And believe me, we've said this before, but the lifestyle, when you're playing with a couple and the door closes and the clothes come off, the magnifying glass comes out. Yeah. And it's just exponentially, you know, you're just everything, the feelings, the, you know, it's really an intense situation.
And that's where you find out whose behavior matches their words. Right. And that includes you and the other so sometimes you may discover gosh i thought i was ready but obviously i wasn't right right you know our um our granddaughter was over at our house not too long ago and this is so not sexy but i think it really kind of it just it cracks me up. And I thought about this when we were planning on this podcast. So she was over and she was helping Mr. Jones wash my car and they had finished, you know, she's all of four years old and she was barely four when, when she was helping Mr. Jones.
So she had, um, you know, done the, the washing and scrubbed the tires and all that stuff. And you guys were done, right? Well, she wanted to do everything. She just won't stand there and do the hose. She wants to do everything. So I went to dump the dirty water out of the bucket. And I was going to rinse the bucket out. And she says, I want to do it. I said, OK. So I handed her the hose. And she takes it. And you can imagine a four-year-old, she grabs the nozzle and she has both hands around the nozzle and both thumbs on the handle.
And she leans her face over top of the bucket and you know what's going to happen. And I kind of take a step back and she presses down the handle. The stream of water goes down, hits the bottom of the bucket and splashes back and just splashes her in the face and all over the front of her. And so as, you know, I'm sitting there, I'm saying, okay, is she going to cry? You know, is she going to lose her breath? You know, what is she going to do? Well, it hits her in the face. She looks down and she says, I didn't see that coming. And I was like, Oh my gosh, what a mature way to handle.
I didn't expect that. I know. So I think that's your point. Yeah. Like sometimes stuff happens and you, you don't see it coming. So you just kind of have to say, wow, how did that happen? I didn't see that coming, you know, and realize that it's not anything anybody intentionally did. It's just a situation that caught you off guard. Yeah. And you didn't react the way you thought you were going to react. Yeah, exactly.
And I think through all of that, and we're going to read these emails in just a minute, but you know, the bottom line is you still want to get, you still, this is still a growth opportunity. Right. And I think that's what this message is going to ultimately, hopefully you're going to see the same thing about this message that we got from this couple that we did. Yep. So should we read these emails? I think so. Okay. So both the husband and the wife sent us a message from each of their perspectives. Yeah, well, he sent one.
And then I thought it was so good that I asked permission if we could use it. And she wanted to tell her side of the story. Right. So I think they complement each other. Well, yeah, so I'm going to read his message. And then you'll read hers. Okay, here we go. This past Friday night, we met up with a couple that was into only girl girl swap and then with your own partners in the same room i have to say it was really good and we had a great time they were very respectful and us being new and our and to our boundaries so that was a good start yep that high.
And now for the low, which unfortunately kind of hurt the high. On Saturday night, so this was the very next night. On Saturday night, we went to a club takeover. As we were driving over there, we set our boundaries and we were planning to do only soft swap if we met the right people. As the night went on and the drinks were flowing, a nice couple was talking with us and telling us about past parties at this club. They had only been in the lifestyle for about a year. Soon our wives were all over each other and it was getting pretty hot and heavy. So far so good.
That's when all of our planned communication to talk about who we wanted to play with went out the window. As the husband and I were talking, the girls came up to us and suggested that we all head back to our room. For some reason, I said okay, when it really wasn't okay. We paid our bar tabs and headed up to their room. When we got to their room, both ladies got naked and started going at it on the bed. I realized the other woman was really not someone I wanted to swap with. But seeing that my wife was having so much fun, I tried to make the best of it.
We were doing a little soft swap, but really not much was focused on me. Then, all of a sudden, my wife and the husband decide to go full swap. And for some reason, our communication skills broke down again, and I didn't stop it. I was thinking she wanted it because it was in the moment and it looked like she was having fun. I then went the wrong route again and tried to follow suit. Then things got even worse. I couldn't get it up. The other wife tried, but nothing. My wife, on the other hand, was getting into it and had no clue what was going on on my side of the bed. So we all finished.
The four of us talked a little bit longer, and they invited us out to dinner sometime in the future. I was friendly and thanked them for a nice evening. I have to be honest, I was just being nice for my wife, but all I could think about was getting the heck out of there. We get in the car and my wife says, well, that was nice. I told her all I could think about was getting out of there. It was a disaster. She then became upset because she didn't realize that I was having such a bad time. It put us in a little bit of a funk, and we didn't talk the rest of the night or the next morning.
That sounds familiar. I know. That was a quiet car ride home. Later that day, though, we went for a walk and we started talking it out. We both realized that we made so many mistakes. It's like we didn't learn anything from the We Got a Thing episode 15. We're hoping to go out again with the couple from Friday night, but I told her I did not want to go out with the couple from Saturday night again. I have to say I'm feeling a little like you did, Mr. Jones, after episode three, but not as much about jealousy, but as for her being with the other guy and having fun.
More on the failure of not knowing how to communicate. I do want to thank you two for doing your podcast. It helps to be able to get back, to go back and listen and learn what we did wrong. it slow that seems to be the big lesson so see honey we we make mistakes so people can learn from them yeah right yeah you're welcome although I don't think that would fly what if I if I was trying to explain something that I did in defense of well no, I would throw the bullshit flag right away. I only did it for our listeners. Bullshit. I want to put myself in their shoes. That's why I did it.
No, that's not going to work. I'm smart enough not to do that. I know better than that. Yeah, right. It's about the podcast. Right. You don't think that would work? No, it's about the pretty blonde or the gorgeous redhead or the sexy brunette. Yeah, that's true. Take your pick. Yeah, that's true. Right. Okay. Okay. So that was the gentleman's perspective. So now the wife has also sent us a message, and this is from her point of view. So it starts out by saying, my husband was pretty spot on with everything he said on how the night went.
So they in agreement there yeah that's a good time so far so good from my perspective we had a great time up until we left with the couple i thought it was really interesting that we communicated so well before the party we had long conversations about what we would do and what our boundaries were since we've into this lifestyle, our communication skills have improved a lot. Seems like once we got to the party, all of that just left our heads. Anyway, I felt a little pressured by the other woman to leave. She grabbed my hand and took off with me.
In hindsight, we should have politely excused ourselves and found a place to regroup. And after talking, neither of us would have left with that specific couple. Turned out that he thought I was having fun and decided to take one for the team. Oof. And I didn't think he was attracted to the other woman, but since he didn't say anything to me, I just let it go. I'm so glad that we talked about it the next day, and then every day since then. Each time we discuss it, it gets a little easier to talk about.
If anything, entering into this lifestyle has made our relationship stronger in that we communicate so much better as a couple and also as best friends. And they lived happily ever after. I know. Okay, so we'll unpack this a little bit, and I think his perception was that he really screwed up, but really there's more good things that happened here than bad. That's true. So like the first, right at the outset, um, they talked about Friday night and, and taking it slow and doing girl, girl, and then sex on the same bed. Right. That was a good baby step and they had a good time. Yeah.
So the next night they're going to build upon that which is good and they and they talked about while they're driving over there setting their boundaries which was another good thing right and they decided that they were going to do soft swap only and only if they met the right couple right again good decisions that's for four good decisions uh And then things start to go a little bit south. Oh, right. Then you end up in that situation, and now you're scrambling. Right. So he mentioned drinking. Which we all do. Yeah. And then for some reason, I said it was okay when it really wasn't okay.
Yeah, well. You know, that's mistake number one. And I've done that at a wasn't okay. Yeah, well. You know, that's mistake number one. And I've done that at a house party myself. Yeah, yeah. And then he says, I realized the other woman was really not someone I wanted to swap with, but I did it anyway. And I did that too. Yeah. And then for some reason, his wife went full swap when they had agreed on soft swap. And you tried to do that too. I tried to, but I didn't. No, that's right. Thank you.
his wife went full swap when they had agreed on soft swap and you tried to do that too i tried to but i didn't no that's right so that was another bad thing then he couldn't get it up and that really wasn't a mistake that was a result of yeah of making the mistake however let's starts goes back the other direction first of all what he did not do at that point in time was cause any drama. He didn't stomp out. He didn't go into the bathroom and slam the door. He didn't grab his clothes and walk out. He didn't get mad at his wife. He didn't get mad at his wife and embarrass her.
You know, he just kind of sucked it up and got through the evening. So that's a really, that's a hard thing to do. So I got to give him credit for that.
Then, you know, they processed it they processed it all you know they were quiet at first but the next day they went for a walk right and they started talking it out another good thing um and then he ended up telling her you know they were honest with each other and said this is what i was thinking that's what i'm that's a good thing and then he said look i don't want to go out with that couple again another good decision and you know and then they said you know what we learned from this that you know we we need to communicate better I mean she said it's made their relationship stronger because you have to communicate and you have to be honest right you can't gloss over this right so there were many many more what could have been it could have been a whole lot worse it could have driven them from the lifestyle right or it could have damaged their relationship yeah and thankfully you know they they handled it the right way right and really that was the impetus for this conversation tonight it wasn't just so that you could hear us talk about this topic it was a real couple who really thought they screwed up but unbeknownst to them, they really did so many things right after the fact.
And that's the message tonight is you're going to, shit's going to happen. Right. You're going to screw up. Right. Or somebody's going to screw up and you need to be able to get through that in a healthy way. Right.
And then hopefully like we do look back and laugh about it at some point right just like anything else and you know um as we've been sitting here tonight i've been kind of thinking back on to our swinger fails and a lot of the swinger fails that you and i have had have been a result of my headspace you know it they haven't really been fails they've just been i don't know me not feeling comfortable and the very first one was when we were at nodding new orleans oh well there's a theme here um you know i i ran out of the group room yeah and you were like oh shit and you had to run out after me like trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me and and I you know I had bolted because I chickened out of being in that kind of environment so then I decided to get back on the horse not anytime soon but I got back on the horse and um at our very first house party in our home where I was perfectly comfortable with the most precious of friends that we have in the lifestyle.
I have weird headspace again, and I can't let myself feel comfortable enough to enjoy it. You had a grand old time. You know, I could have gotten mad at you because you had all of these gorgeous women all over you and you were having so much fun. And I was just kind of like objectively taking it all in. And it took me a long time to figure that out. It took more than a couple days. It took a long time to figure that out. Again, it was a group setting. I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, I don't like group settings. This is not for me. So before we went to Jay and Kay's party, I even told you.
I said, whoa.
before you're all anxious about saying yes to this invitation do you realize what the situation is going to be and what you're going to be facing because he invited us like maybe a month after our house party he planned he's been planning this thing for a long time and i was like oh my gosh we have to go because we you know we love them so much and yeah and i wanted to be part of it but the whole time i'm thinking oh my gosh i'm going to be putting myself in in an environment where i know i'm not comfortable yeah so you know i said yes i want to go because we we like them so much and we trusted that they would be inviting other couples that we would be comfortable with because we like them so much.
So as we were preparing to go to the party, you know, Mr. Jones was like, you know, we can go to the hotel because we decided to get a hotel room too. Because Mr. Jones was like, um, why are we going to ride a party bus into town and party? And then I have to drive home from, you know, where the party bus drops us off. He's like, that's dumb. So we got a hotel room too. So Mr. Jones was like, well, worst case scenario, we ride the party bus. We have an awesome dinner. We get to hang out with a bunch of sexy lifestyle people. We come back to the hotel and we just go back to our room.
Just the two of us, you know, if you decide you're not comfortable in that setting. And I was like, well, I don't think that's going to happen, but that's, that's a safe alternative.
Well, there was just so much, um, easygoing conversation and everybody was just so connected and, and like there was nobody trying to dominate the situation and no um everybody was just on equal footing and just relaxed and happy and and everybody was so connected that night that's probably one of the best lifestyle experiences i've ever had at that party and and it was 10 people in one room having crazy sex i think you can credit shima for that yeah you you have to listen to j and k's episode 15 yes shima was uh a tantric massage therapist you don't have to go into it supposedly but it was just i mean there were 10 people in this hotel room having sex and, and it was just very free flowing.
And, um, what was different though is Mr. Jones and I were very intentional about staying connected. We didn't stay hip to hip at all. I mean, we played together at first and then I think we ended up finishing together at the very, very end. Yeah. I mean back up a minute so when I when I said do you realize the situation that you're going to be putting yourself in and you and after we talked about it you said well I think the problem is I need to stay connected with you so what I need you to do is to every once in a while check on me you know we need to just touch each touch each other.
We need to, you need to hold me for a minute, you know, just come over and kiss me or whatever. If you'll do that. So I'm like, I'm a good husband. Once I have my orders, that's great. I don't have to wonder, you know, you're telling me what you need. And so we had a plan for making that work.
And for the most part i i stuck with it but there were some times when i got involved with people and well and i did too right but um you and i i think we had sex twice together like at the beginning of the evening at the end of the evening but then i ended up playing with almost every guy in the room and yeah and most of the ladies too Yeah, you're quite the nasty girl.
But you know what my most memorable moment was, besides the triple blowjob, but my other most memorable moment, at one point, and this was like probably right smack dab in the middle of play, you and I were kind of transitioning from partner to partner, partner to partner and you and I ended up kind of standing up at the same time at the foot of, of one of the beds and we just hugged each other. And, and I think we might've kissed, but we were just standing up, you know, both naked and we were hugging each other.
And I had my head on your chest and I was just looking at the other eight people and everybody else was engaged at that point in time. And I was just hugging you. And, and like Mr. Jones is a whole lot taller than me. So when I hug him, my ears on his heart, and this sounds so sappy, but I was just, I just felt so safe and secure because I had my ear on your chest and I could hear your heart beating. And there was just all of these new sexy friends or old sexy, not old people, but like old friends that were all connected in this room. And it was just so natural.
I guess that's the thing about the lifestyle that people don't understand until they get into a good situation. It's so natural when it happens the right way. Gosh, I probably shouldn't tell you my side of the story then because you've built me up on this pattern. I know, I just made it really romantic and you're going to say something doofy now. Yeah, you could hear my heart racing because I was looking at all those people having sex. I might've forgotten that I was hugging you for a minute. That's why you heard my heartbeat. Oh, he loves me. I wasn't counting the heartbeats.
I could just hear your heartbeat. And I just, you know, when you hug hug me, I just feel very safe. I know what you meant. Yes. But so you were checking on me, we were staying connected and I, and I think that made a huge difference. And then when we got to our house party, which was only a couple of weeks later, um, you had a good experience behind you. Yeah.
So I'd had that positive experience and I think that gave me the confidence where i didn't need to keep you you know hip to hip with me yeah so you know it's not because there's only three guys you didn't have sex with and you were one of them you didn't appear to have any problems but i i guess the the reason i brought that up is because I had had like three swinger fails in group setting situations and we took our time and we let time pass and we talked about it and I thought about it a lot and then I tried to articulate that to you and I don't know if I ever really made any sense with it because really what was going on in my head wasn't very logical.
But, you know, I tried to articulate that to you. And I don't know if I ever really made any sense with it because really what was going on in my head wasn't very logical. But, you know, I tried to communicate that with you and you know me well enough that you were just like, oh, well, that's Mrs. Jones. And after time, I realized that there was really no logical reason why I wasn't enjoying myself in those situations. So we just tried it again and then we found a formula that worked for us. Yeah. So we've, we've learned from our inevitable mistakes. Thank goodness. I know.
Now, does that mean we're not going to make any more mistakes? Yeah. Yeah. Right. I wish. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't think Because we're human, and guess what? The other people that we meet are too. Well, right, and we love meeting new people. Maybe if we were going to keep our same group of swinger friends, which we are going to keep those friends, but we love still meeting new people and putting ourselves out there, which means we're constantly in new, unpredictable situations. Yep. But that's kind of the fun of it now. Yeah.
Because we have failed and we've still managed to stay happily married and we still have this desire to keep exploring. Well, and then final thought for me is, you know, I just mentioned a minute ago about one day we'll be laughing about these fails. I mean, because when we meet couples, and we're not talking about gossiping or anything, but people always like to say, they say, oh my gosh, guess what we did one time. So it's great to hear other people talking about mistakes, because it makes you feel, okay, well, if they made a mistake, you know, I guess it's okay.
I guess it does happen to other people. Right. When you can laugh about them. Yeah. You know, not that you're laughing at the people you made the mistake with, but you're laughing from, I can't believe we let ourselves get in that situation. Because a lot of times it can be avoided if you could just stop and be logical but sex is usually is not a logical time right so thank you guys for the email yes and this is probably a good time to beg for more emails because again we don't necessarily need you to tell us what you want us to talk about just tell us what's's going on. Right.
What are you experiencing and what's going on in your lifestyle journey? Right, because when you share that stuff with us and then we blend that together with our experiences in the lifestyle, that does definitely get our imagination going. Yep. So we want to make this helpful And at the same time entertaining You know what else happened besides shit? What? Snapshots Oh yes So when we come right back We've got some We'll forget about the mistakes And we'll talk about some sexy snapshots That's right guitar solo Okay, well, welcome back. We have a sexy listener snapshot to start out with.
So this is from a couple that's been married for a long time and they are just dipping their toe in. So here's their story. We've been married and in love for 22 sexy years when we recently decided to add some more heat to our marriage by attending a swinger club for the first time. We did it entirely for ourselves to go dancing in a sexy atmosphere, get aroused, and have good sex together, and the evening went far better than expected.
We were apprehensive at the start, but the sexy, welcoming atmosphere soon had us dancing together, and before we knew it, we felt right at home on the dance floor, surrounded by other sexually charged couples. We stayed to ourselves, still too nervous to try and make friends, but we didn't feel alone as the eroticism of the other couples heightened our sexual desire for one another, and sometime after midnight, we made the plunge and headed to the playroom. We had agreed going in that we would play just the two of us, and we were more than ready.
My wife's pussy was soaking wet, and my dick was as hard as when I was in my 20s. We found a spot where we could be alone, but not too alone, as the passionate cries and moans of other guests fueled our excitement, and very soon we were adding our own relentless groans into the mix. My wife came as she sat on my face, her flushed boobs trembling through her orgasm. A little later, I was fucking her from behind, plunging into her clutching pussy as I came incredibly hard. Our eroticism for each other was boundless.
We went back out onto the dance floor and danced till three in the morning, rubbing, groping, and fondling each other like a couple of hormone-zed kids during the week we were giddy with desire calling each other at work just to giggle about our naughty secret and of course we fucked like rabbits it was a night that we hoped to repeat real soon that's what it's all about that's what it's all about and you know what i i have to give them kudos for going back out on the dance floor and dancing until 3 in the morning. When we went to the club, what did we do after we had sex? We ate breakfast.
We ate bacon. They got the Uber and went to the hotel and went to sleep. Right. Well, I don't know if you all noticed, but but, you know, they didn't play with anyone. And they had a heck of a good time. They went to a lifestyle club and had a great time. That's right. That's all it takes. That's the lifestyle, folks. Anybody could do that. Yeah, buddy. Yeah. So good for you guys. Yes. Thank you for sharing that. So is it my turn? It is your turn.
Okay, so I'm gonna go with last friday night when we went out with the couple i me too oh you are yes i hope it's not the same one me too okay well i'm gonna go first so you're gonna have to change yours so uh yeah so anyway we had dinner and then we snuckuck Mrs. Jones into the hotel. Oh, jeez. That's not my snapshot. Yeah. And we had had, I mean, this was towards the end of the evening, and I had had sex with her, and you had had sex with him, and you two played. And anyway, towards the end of the evening, I decided I wanted to have sex with you.
And so I, I think he had gotten up to go to the bathroom and she was still laying on the bed. And one of my favorite things to do when there's another woman laying on the bed, um, outside of having sex with her is having you doggie style and like having you kiss her while I'm in you. Yeah, I like that too.
And so I, you know, you got on your knees and I was having sex with you doggy style and she was looking up at me and then she was looking at you and then, you know, she reached her hand down between your legs and I thought she was just going to start playing with you, really she grabbed me you know she grabbed my cock and at the same time i think she was playing with you but anyway that little bit of extra tension and that pressure that she put on me as she played with me while i was in you and sent me over the top yeah yeah that was that was an interesting sensation because she had it was like she had taken her her middle finger and connected it with her thumb and you know made a ring around my cock and put some pressure on it that way so it was it was like getting pressure in one concentrated area while I was going in and out of you so it was really a sensation that i hadn't felt before that was and then by the look on her face she was enjoying it that helped put me over the top too well she had just tortured me with the hitachi wand right before that yeah so yeah so was that going to be your snapshot well I got more than one thing to say about that night.
So, yeah. So we had started playing with, you played with her and I played with him at first. And at first he and I were just making out. And I was just on fire from the beginning.
And normally I'm more of a slow burn and it takes me a while to get going and i like that sensual you know play i mean we've talked about that before i'm i'm always the last one to get going because i like to take my time and you're always the first one done but i just wanted to fuck it was bad it was bad like i and i kept thinking we can't do this yet because then it'll be done and i i like the build-up and but then i was like no this is what i want to do right now and we had we had gone in the hotel well first of all we had had dinner we were probably at dinner for what at least two hours right and just great conversation at dinner and and it was a really really unique restaurant very um we all had tapas for dinner so we had all must have had a dozen plates come out of different things to try so dinner was just it was kind of a sexy dinner because we all were tasting all the same things that everybody was eating and so the dinner dinner was a little bit on the sensual side as well.
And then when we got to the hotel room, we talked for a while and it wasn't because we were nervous. It's just because we were just connected and we just were enjoying conversing with one another. So by the time we started making out, I was ready. I think I got the message. Oh, okay.
Just in case you didn't understand yeah but so we did so we we all played for a while and then somebody suggested that the girls play together so this is my first snapshot might have been me it oh yeah shocker so um the wife is one of the ladies that I played with at the birthday party where we met them and she and I played with a double dildo that night. And the double dildo was like, I guess a normal length. And, and it's really fun when the girls are like scissored together, but she wanted to lay on top of me with the dildo.
And so we would each have the dildo in and then she wanted to lay on top of me so she and i could kiss and it wouldn't work but i had and i've had this for how many years mr jones like five years probably yeah because we bought it we didn't know what we were doing yeah so we had bought this like double it's about six feet long double sided dildo it's 18 inches long um and i never took it out of the wrapper because it came in the mail and i was like holy smokes that thing's big i am not i i was afraid of it so literally for years and years it's been in our cedar chest where we have all of our toys and we've never taken another wrapper so i brought it that friday night and um she and i played with it and it worked so it was long enough that she and i could both have it in and then she laid on top of me and we were making out and that was hot yeah that was very hot yeah and then right after that my other favorite thing that that i like to do with another couple is i can't exactly remember the configuration but it was something like she was on her back and i think you were kneeling over top of her and she was giving you a blow job and her husband was going down on her so he he was like on all fours.
So I stuck my head like under his torso and I was giving him a blowjob as he was going down on his wife. And then somebody was fingering me. I don't know who it was. It was either you or her. So I don't know if you remember that part. It wasn't me. There were just really magical fingers somewhere. I don't think it was me. So anyway, I think that's so much fun when four people can find a way to give and receive pleasure all at the same time. Yeah. That's hot. That was a pretty long snapshot. Sorry. Yeah. You're almost disqualified. I know. That was the opposite of a swing or fail. Yeah.
So before we wrap up, we need to do an iTunes update because we're up 10 short. Yeah, we're at 90. We've come a long way, baby. I know. You guys, we need in the next couple of weeks. Well, it's December of 2016 right now. Okay, so I'm going to be honest.
So if we put this out, the middle of December, people are going to be busy that first week that's an excuse that our episodes out yes no it is an excuse i get it no honey i do like 90 of the shopping and wrapping hey we're doing this podcast i know i know so my shopping and wrapping is on hold i just got in trouble for being on my when we took a break. I know. I went to go to the bathroom and I come back in your Christmas shop. Well, I'm sorry. I need to use my time wisely. So I get it. But after Christmas, the week before Christmas and New Year's, that's usually like total downtime. Yeah.
So I think that would be an excellent time for people to write an iTunes review. Okay. That sounds like a good idea. And if they don't subscribe to our newsletter before then, that'd be an excellent time to do that, too. That takes like 30 seconds. Yep. Now that is a good idea. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. Okay. In the meantime, if you'd like to email us, please do. I am at mrjones at wegotathing.com and it's w-e-g-o-t-t-a-t-h-i-n-g.com or... And I'm at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. And our brand new website is still at wegotathing.com.
And that's where you go to sign up for Desire. Yes. Just in case you've forgotten. Did we mention that was November 11th through the 18th, 2017? I think we did, but we can't say it enough. Okay, and you need to go to our website and book through our affiliate link and join us next November. That's going to be so much fun. Yep. We've already booked our room, and I've already asked for time off of work. Yeah, we're all set. We're going. I'm a planner. We're going. Follow us on Twitter at We Got a Thing. And our Cassidy community just hit 600 this month. So that's good.
There are people out there listening to us. Yeah. If you're on Cassidy, please look us up on Cassidy and join our community. So happy holidays to all of you out, if you're listening to this before the holidays. Yeah, and good luck with those mistakes. That's right. When that shit happens, you know what to do now. That's right. You can't blame the Joneses for not stopping. All right, well, thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing?
