Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south.
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 121 of the we got a thing podcast 121.3 0.3 yeah oh yes so we this is an origin story yes so we were we recorded that already yes and we tried to record this part last night, but we had to do a do-over. Somebody tried to blame it on me that I wasn't talking in the microphone properly. No, I said maybe I didn't have your microphone in the right place. Well, I would have been smart enough to put it in the right place if it wasn't in the right place.
Ah, keeping up withoneses let's get on with this uh episode 121 you're going to hear an origin story from mark and beth uh canuck and this is an international origin story it is from our favorite canadians yes they're definitely if they weren't our favorite canadians before they're our favorite canadians now because they actually came and did an origin story with us yes they did yes they did so the rest of you canadians get on the ball yes we need another country to step up i know we're going to be truly international i know well we are going to see some of our uh australian friends when we're at desire in november yes we are hint hint yeah i know you're out there this will be the first time that we they're coming a long way i can't wait to meet them yes so there's a lot that's been happening that we need to catch you all up on first of all some business we desire Resorts has offered us promo codes for the 2025 season starting in february and it's a little bit complicated but here's what has to happen uh they gave us lots of time for in each month of next year like five to seven day windows and within that date range we can use these uh 10 and 15 percent promo codes and we have a we have a host couple for every one of these time slots so we're gonna have host couples kind of organizing things yes so they're the host couple we're gonna go in june and in november so we'll be the host couple yeah Yeah, we'll be the host couples in June and Riviera, Maya and Pearl in November.
And then all of the other months, some of our WGT community members are stepping up to be co-hosts for us, and they will be able to lead the time and do the events like we normally do. And Desire is going to work directly with them. Yes.
So so and we expect those to be smaller groups maybe five to ten couples um but for a 10 of you know 10 to 15 discount it's definitely worth it um well and it'll be nice like especially if you're a desire newbie you know to to be able to go with a you know a group of people whether it's you know five couples, 10 couples, 15 couples, you know, you know, to be able to go with a, you know, a group of people, whether it's, you know, five couples, 10 couples, 15 couples, you know, you're not going in cold because that was so scary the first time we went. Yeah.
So anyway, because it's so complicated, well, first of all, Desire won't let us put this information on our website because I guess maybe they don't give affiliates the other, the same discounts they give us. And so we're putting everything inside of our community. So you'll need to join our community to get the discount codes.
But if you want to know the travel dates, if you think you might be interested, send me an email, mrjones at wegotathing.com, and I will reply right away and give you a list of the date ranges and the resorts because some of them are at rm some of them are at pearl and one of them is even at temptation and so i will reply back with you with the windows and the percentage discount promo code and then you can decide if you're you want to go with us and if so then you'll just join our community and you'll be put into one of the spaces we have set up for everybody traveling in that group yeah because everybody will have a chance to connect ahead of time and usually there's a zoom call you know where people can get to know each other and you know you'll you'll know who to look for when you get there yes and even though you have to pay to get in our community the 15 discount from pearl will way more than make up for that so we're trying to make it not a cheap vacation but it's money well spent i think yes so please reach out to me if you think you might be interested in traveling with us and i know a lot of you are because we usually sell out at least our trips every year.
So we went on a cruise. Yes, we did. Yes, and we will never cruise. Well, I shouldn't say never because we're going on a family cruise. Virgin is the way to go. Yes, This was our first Virgin Voyages experience. And we had several couples that we're friends with that have cruised on Virgin before. And they're like, there's no going back. It's just a completely different experience. And I'm like, yeah, how different could it be? And they were right.
And it's kind of to explain it other than it's a vibe there's no kids that's easy there's no kids right and that just creates a completely different vibe it's not just the no kids it's like you never saw the captain um or if you did he had a polo shirt on you know at yeah they were they're like they dressed very casual all the staff was extremely approachable yeah and very very helpful yeah and and uh there was no cruise director yeah well well there was the the air quotes cruise director was a drag queen yes named carlos yeah and he was pretty she was pretty yes uh yeah so it was there were a lot of younger folks um there was just a lot of energy um a lot of uh the venues were open later in the evening than normal the food was fantastic the service was really good oh babe you forgot the best thing about the food 24 hour breakfast yeah yeah that's right you didn't have to worry about like what time you got up in the morning and rushing down to breakfast before 10 or 11 o'clock but since they did all day breakfast you could just whenever you got out of bed you know it was fantastic yeah because sometimes i like to linger in bed in the morning yeah so we had a concierge because we stayed in a suite and then he was really fantastic spent a lot of time with us when we got on board tracked us down every day helped us get dinner reservations And then we had access to a lounge on the top of the ship with the other sweet guests and it was a free happy hour every day every day from five to six and and so we we met a lot of friends our people we knew friends up up at that um happy hour because we all went up there because the drinks were free for an hour there were two couples in particular we ended up hanging out with and they were both on their honeymoon yeah and when they found out that we were celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary they were like oh my gosh you have to teach us your ways you know and and we were giving them little tidbits of wisdom throughout the week and i kept giving you the stink eye to not drop the bomb on like why our marriage is is so fresh after four years one of the reasons right well until the last day when you weren't you stepped away for a minute and i started passing out we gotta think business cars yes he did he did well by that time we had had some really good conversations with them, and we could tell they were cool.
Yeah. And they did say, after you told them, they were like, just when we didn't think you guys could get any cooler. Well. Like, we were pretty cool for old people. They did have a lot of questions, yeah.
And I think at least two of them are listening so hello guys yes glad to have you along but um the mediterranean was fantastic the the weather was fantastic we sailed out of barcelona the uh america's cup was going on oh my gosh that was amazing it was the the day we got on the ship we were up on the top like everybody does at at sail away and these strange looking sailboats were like just screaming past right outside the harbor and i'm like what is that and then we started noticing that there were um like flags on the sails and stuff and then sure enough it was they were the racing yachts and yeah they were so cool looking and i googled real quick uh where is the world cup this year and they said barcelona and it just started the day before well they were practicing we got there yeah they were practicing it was amazing like if you think they look fast on tv you should see them in person like and they were just practicing they weren't even trying yeah and they can turn that thing around on a dime like it was incredible definitely expensive a lot of money to do that um but so we went to france and we went to a couple places in italy but the place that stands out is abiza abiza was incredible abiza was incredible and probably i've heard of it before but it's an island off the south coast of Spain, and it's just a party island.
Yeah. And fortunately, our ship stayed overnight. Yes. Yeah, so we got in at like 7 o'clock at night, and we arranged a club visit through the ship. And so we, I mean, the ship docked at 7, and we were off at 7.30, and we went to this club called Cava Santa, I think, Thank you.
um so we i mean the ship docked at seven and we were off at 7 30 and we went to a this club called kava santa i think was what the name of it was it was a club built into a cave i mean into the side of a mountain and it had a like caves underneath of it right and the caves are where they used to like have their nightclub um like back in i think they they stopped doing the parties in the caves like in the 1990s um because i think that first of all the caves were getting damaged and second of all i think people were getting hurt because like it was a legit cave down there it was like you know slippery and and you know not level and you get a bunch of drunk or high people so it was built into the side of a mountain and we had um transportation there and we so we had to walk up it was like a switchback trail that you had to walk up and so you walk by massage parlor and then the um i mean these were like tents these were like tents set up yeah yeah alcohol or bars everywhere there was the lady walking around instead of selling the cigarettes she was selling marijuana plants yeah and like her little neon sign it was like a cigarette girl back in the day and you know she had the little tray that she was holding just like the cigarette girls did and then it had like this neon like battery operated neon marijuana leaf on it so that you knew that that they were joints instead of cigarettes yeah um and it so most of it was outside um the the so there was a dj booth and this is the first time i've we've experienced the real dj booth with a professional dj with standing in the booth with his entourage behind him and his big old hat and dancing around and he was cute yeah whatever and we had these vip passes so as you kind of you you got to like the the main level the ground level where the dance floor was and the dj booth was then you could like climb these like stairs again built into the side of this hill I don't know.
like the the main level the ground level where the dance floor was and the dj booth was then you could like climb these like stairs again built into the side of this hill and what what was up there there was a there was a store up there with like yeah there was a store that sold apparel yeah and sex toys but they had sex toys in there yeah but i didn't even notice that but but down below though where the dj booth was there was also a like a stage across the dance floor yeah Thank you.
but they had sex toys in there yeah but i didn't even notice that but but down below though where the dj booth was there was also a like a stage across the dance floor yeah yeah so we we had to keep winding up the hill we got to the top where we had a terrace and an overlook and that had its own bar and we got a couple of free drinks it came with the tour that we bought so we were able to see the whole club from where we were and everything that was going on yeah it was awesome and because it was outside like it was it wasn't overwhelming you know i was i'm really kind of like dreading the whole going to the club thing and having it be like stupid loud and stupid crowded right um and it really wasn't like that i think we really chose the right Thank you.
the whole going to the club thing and having it be like stupid loud and stupid crowded right um and it really wasn't like that i think we really chose the right place to visit yeah and so i think the average age there may have been 32 and that would have been including us being there although well there's another story at the end there was one lady older than us but But anyway, we to go down to the it got a little bit dark it got dark and we went downstairs into the dance floor and we were standing right in the middle of the dance floor with these 28 year old kids jumping up and down with my cell phone on just like the rest of video and everything that was going on well at first you didn't want to go down there you're like do you really want to go down there and dance and i'm like yes we're in a visa at a club we are going to go dance and you were a little reluctant and then we got down there and you had so much fun yeah it was packed well and and like mr jones realized had this like epiphany that when you go to these things, it's so crowded and it's just, you know, this house music is just kind of the same beat the whole time.
So you don't really ever have to switch gears. Like as far as dancing goes, there's really not a lot to the dancing because it's crowded and it's just kind of the same beat. Yeah. Right. Um, but, you know, I was trying to be cool because we were. And so you wanted us, you wanted me to take a selfie. And I tried, obviously, I didn't maybe look as comfortable because this beautiful young woman who is Spanish was behind us. And she, she was probably 5'8", 5'9", 5'10". And she had a skirt on and barely a top.
And she kind of motioned, because I don't think she spoke English, but she kind of just motioned, you want me to take your picture, old guy, because clearly you don't know what you're doing. And I was like, sure.
So so she took a selfie and she took our picture and then we were dancing and then they had an like a troupe of african dancers that were dancing to african house music so that yeah so the dj switched after about two hours to a different dj and this guy played i i know there's a name of it and i should have looked it up before we started talking about it but it was african house music yeah and it was so good yeah oh my gosh yeah and the and the dancers had the grass skirts and the masks on and you know they were doing it was really cool well then there was this this African queen.
She was like the main actor in this dance troupe. And she came down off the stage and she came right over next to us. And she had some sort of incense bowl hanging around her neck. And I don't know what they were doing, but she came up to the really good-looking Spanish girl that took our picture, and she started wafting the smoke into that girl's face. And this girl kind of, she just put her hands up, and she closed her eyes, and she was like taking it all in. And then the lady put the smoke, the incense dish, under her skirt.
Well, she sat it on the ground and then she started wafting the smoke up this girl's skirt so it's almost like it was like a fertility ritual or i don't know i was hoping it was an aphrodisiac well and it could have been that too right um i mean it it was this girl truly went into a trance it was mesmerizing you couldn't look away yeah and so if you can imagine this i swear i don't know how we end up in these places but when this african queen started doing this smoke ritual with this girl like it was like it was like john travolta dancing that you know everybody stopped and backed away away and she was in the middle and we were standing right next to her.
Watch it. We got a first bird's eye view of what was going on. Well, and the lady dressed in the African garb was absolutely beautiful as well. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So that, that was a lot of fun. And then there was more to the entertainment, babe. But wait, you forgot. Oh, I did forget. There was a stage, a little stage right next to the DJ booth on that side of the dance floor. And there were two girls that had been body painted from head to toe and they were nude. Yeah. And they were. And, and yeah, it, they were absolutely stunning.
They were, they were being body painted because the artist was there on his knees. Well, it's like they had the base coat on. I know, but he kept painting more on them when they were dancing. He was, like, painting the artwork on their bodies. Yes. So, like, he was painting, like, their breasts and, like, he spent a lot of time on their butts.
Like like it was just absolutely incredible to watch him do that and then that whole time like one would dance while he painted the other one and then it would just kind of shift over to the other girl and yeah i mean just watching that because at first i'm like geez they must be running behind he's still painting them but but that was part of the experience it was very sensual yeah and then at 11 o'clock i guess they have an ordinance because then we moved to the inside part of the club and we had a little section up Thank you.
experience it was very sensual yeah and then at 11 o'clock i guess they have an ordinance because then we moved to the inside part of the club and we had a little section up front because of this tour we got yeah we got right up front we we stayed there for a while but it got really loud once we were inside and it was a different well that's because it was loud because i wormed our way up to the very very front of the dj booth we were standing right there and that was it was really interesting like just to like see all their equipment we could really see that with the first dj when we first got there because we were up on that terrace and we had we were looking straight down at the dj and you could see all of his stuff yeah it was really cool yeah the way they they really it's it's an art yeah to what they do so then we got back to the ship like 1 or 1 30 in the morning and fortunately the all night pizza bar was open yes it was that tasted so good and because we stayed overnight we got to walk into a visa town the town we were in that's that's not the name of the town.
Yeah, it's called Ibizatown. Oh, Ibizatown, yeah. Did some shopping, and then you found a... A spritzeria. A spritzeria. It was just this little cocktail bar, and all they served were spritzes. And they had like 15 different flavors of spritzes. Yes. And they had like two-for-one specials. Yeah. So we sat there, And they had this like little contraption that held two. So what they would do is they would bring out the Aperol spritz glass with the ice and the Prosecco and the sparkling water already in it. And then whatever flavor you ordered came in like a little shot glass on the side.
And they had this like stand that held two glasses and two of the little shot glasses full of the flavor i think i got like a passion fruit one the first time and i think you got a mango one they were just delicious yeah and then in corsica we got um no it wasn't corsica it was montesoro that one of the Cinquaterre town, little villages that we went in in Italy. They make lime spritzes. It was like, well, I guess it was like a limoncello spritz, but it wasn't quite limoncello. They were amazing. Because you don't really care for Aperol. No.
But you really liked the limoncello spritz but it wasn't quite limoncello it was they were amazing because like you you don't really care for aperol no but you really like the the limoncello one that we had so that our eyes were just open to all kinds of new things yeah i could just go on we had so much fun but we won't uh so then anyway to wrap up the club story though when we were leaving we had to wind back down the hill to walk. And there was a, I'm going to say an elderly, elderly lady because she was older than me. She was probably 10 years, 10, 15 years older.
I think she was probably close to 80. Yeah. And she was by herself and it was gravelly.
So I went up to her and I said, can I escort you down just to make sure you're safe and she said oh that's so nice of you and we got down to the bottom and uh i said something about i hope you had a good time and what did she say she said yes i had a good time i got four phone numbers yeah i think she had more energy than you and i put together she was something yeah so we will go back to abiza that yes that is a happening place it a lot and it was just like the cruise just a lot of energy a lot of fun um and the cruise was really the other thing about the cruise is there was there was a lot of gay couples lesbian couples um you know it was very very open and and you i think anybody could go on that cruise and feel comfortable yes i mean that's what i loved about it it well first of all because we were in europe it was internationally diverse yeah and then relationally you know there were you saw all kinds of relationships and there were a lot of single people yes as well and it you know one one thing that they do is they really do cater you know a little younger than the typical cruise line yes to to those guests but so like for example instead of um bingo they do trivia right a lot there was one like bar it was like a social club bar and they always had some sort of game going on there yeah and um and then they did a lot of karaoke too so instead of like bingo and shuffleboard you know things have evolved yeah and i have to admit i did karaoke but that was because so bad no you weren't bad i was so bad that's because they had the little rooms you could get a room for like eight or ten people it wasn't like out in the middle of nowhere and the friends that we met well happy hour these were the young they were they invited us yes well how can i pass that oh my gosh i was totally humiliated myself but that's what you do when you do karaoke right yeah you know it's supposed to be good yeah that's what i tell myself right right it's the people that think they're good that are funny anyway i don't want to get into that um so we are we're gonna go speaking of virgin cruises we're gonna go on another virgin cruise out of miami in february and some lifestyle folks are going to be there too so yeah it's a quickie cruise I think it's only four nights.
If anybody is interested in information on that, again, send me an email, MrJones, at WeGotAThing.com, and I'll send you the details that you need to know about that trip if you want to go on a cruise with us. Yes. All right. That was fun. Then we came back to reality.
We came back to reality and don't get me wrong we live in paradise however well we're we're in lower alabama we are that's what they call the panhandle um we it's a diverse area we decided to get up the nerve and start exploring the local lifestyle scene yeah so we were totally newbies it was like i don't know when the last time we went out to an event and didn't go as mr and mrs jones and didn't know anybody had a time well we've done things without being mr mrs jones but we've always gone with like a wing couple at least right or we've met people this was the first time we had been to a lifestyle meet and greet in where we live.
Yes. And it was hit or miss. It was.
or we've met people this was the first time we had been to a lifestyle meet and greet in where we live yes and it was hit or miss it was exactly what i expected although there were two couples there actually they were the two couples that organized it and they were really nice and actually really attractive yeah so there's a little bit of glimmer of hope yeah i think so for us yeah so we had a good time doing that yes and then um lastly mrs jones has a handyman crush oh my gosh i have more than one handyman crush like i have been like the the contractors around here have been hitting it out of the park as far as their hotness levels go yeah so i found this one guy i want to have like some shiplap walls done and just little things like that like accent stuff on the inside of the house and our our neighborhood has a facebook page so when people get stuff like that done of course they post pictures and say you need to use this contractor he's.
So I had seen a lot of this guy's work, but I had never seen his picture. But I had seen tons of pictures of his work. So we called him and asked him to come over to do an estimate for us. And he walked in the door, and I was like, I almost got the vapors. Like, oh, my gosh, he was so cute. You almost got the what?
The vapors, you know, like the old lady, you know, when the ladies get you almost got the what the vapors you know like the old lady you know when the ladies get flustered okay the vapors i'm gonna have to remember that she got the vapors anyway he was super super cute and yeah and i didn't even realize that you were goo goo about him until well first the first clue was i think we had one or two jobs lined up that we wanted and when he left i think you had given him a list of four or five things that you went down he's going to be like uh eldon on murphy brown he's just going to move in and you're just going to find job after job job after job i'm telling you he he was and he was like so polite like he called me miss and then used my first name like he's just i don't know if that's because he thought i was so old or that's just the way his mama raised him i don't know the second clue that you had a crush on him was he was our he was our first estimate and before he left you had written a check for him Well, no hadn't written a check because he had to like put the estimate together but no what i did for him you're getting the contractors mixed up what i know because you did it for the second guy i wrote a check for the second guy but that's a whole nother story so as soon as this first guy left i texted my girlfriend my lifestyle in our four-way chat yes in our four-way chat and i'm like oh my gosh you should see the contractor i'm like i don't care how much he charges i'm gonna use him yeah right he could have charged anything i know and actually it came back about 75 less than i thought it was gonna be so he's affordable and hot yeah so then there was like one other thing that you really wanted to have done more so than me and i'm like i don't know that's kind of a lot of money and it's a little frivolous but so are shiplap walls so i'm like okay well you know let's come out and do an estimate i want to get a vinyl like the restaurants do in the wintertime where they have a motorized vinyl curtain that's transparent that you'd lower yeah to keep the outside space to keep the outside space warm so yeah so our we the covered part of our lanai is almost square so it it's actually like a room out there so if we could drop that down i have heaters hanging from the ceiling so anyway go ahead and tell your story so anyway that the guy came over this guy i did notice because he had biceps oh my gosh yeah like tree trunk biceps so i didn't really like i wasn't even really halfway interested but he walked in the door my office is right by the front door he walked in the door and it was hard to not say holy shit this guy first of all he was cute and you know he kind of had a mullet like mullets are kind of coming back i mean it wasn't really a mullet but they're kind of like it's too late for me i don't know yeah that ship has sailed for you babe but anyway he had on a like a a nice polo shirt but the sleeves were really tight on it.
It was a short sleeve because his biceps were so freaking big. Dang. Yeah. Well, it worked out well for me because you were kind of moping about spending the money and then you ripped off a check out of the checkbook and handed it to him before he went out. So you got him lined up.
Hey, if they're both here at the same time yeah i know oh yeah you could have a two-on-one i don't know anyway so that's life yeah all right so we should probably get out of the way so that you all can um listen to our origin story with mark and beth and then when that is finished we'll come back and wrap up episode 121 all right welcome back to segment two um the origin story of the canucks our friends mark and beth uh are these our first favorite canadian friends or are they our second favorite canadian friends i don't remember. You know, I think they're currently first. Oh, yeah.
Well, I think since... And if they weren't, they are now. Well, that's what I was going to say. Because they volunteered to do an origin story. Now you've got leverage over those other Canadians. They're going to have to come out. Canadians are very competitive. We are very polite, but very competitive. Yeah, so we'd love for you to introduce yourselves to everyone. And first of all, thank you for coming on to tell your story. I have to say that a lot of people out there, you have to be brave. You have to be able to put your voice out there.
But a lot of people think, oh, I have a, there's nothing exciting about my story.
But if, and you guys have been in a lifestyle you know long enough that when you talk to people about their origin stories they're all really interesting so we i wanted to thank you for coming on so please yeah introduce yourselves and we'll start the conversation so we're mark and beth um otherwise known as the canucks um there was that we got that handle mainly because one we're from Canada originally and two one of the we got a thing events we went to where there were several marks and bests or liz's that were all signed up coincidentally they were all couples and so we needed to have a unique handle that differentiated us from everybody else and so we're like well there weren't that many Canadians so that's how we became known as the Canucks.
So we've been together 10 years now, married six, um, my second best third, uh, marriage. Uh, we're, uh, we've, we've noticed in the, the LS world there, you're either the 30, 40 year couples or you're a, Hey, you know what? Let's try this again. But with, with the difference. Yeah. So let me ask you, because I always think this is interesting. Since you were both previously married, how, when, when you, when you got together a little bit older than when the first times that you got married, were you just like a whole lot?
Did you put your cards on the table up front about, look, we all have baggage, right? So did you throw your stuff out on the table right from the get-go?
So I saw this meme on Facebook and it was, a good partner isn't someone who ignores your baggage, rather helps you unpack it yeah and so i thought that that was really great you know uh given that mark and i both are not on our first marriage and um so we've had pretty good communication from the get-go so whether you know it would be things that you would people would classify as bad things or good things we just talk about all things in large part. And so I think that that's really helped us get to a place where we could have open dialogue about getting into the lifestyle space.
I mean, we've talked a lot about struggles that we're still going through. And sometimes, you know, the old saying, it takes longer to turn a ship because we're a pretty big ship. We've been going in some direction for a long period of time where I think if you're starting a new relationship, there's a little bit of an advantage there and you're, and you're older and more mature. So like when we got married, we were kids and we didn't, we didn't know how to communicate. And, and, you know, so there's pluses and minuses, I think.
And to your point earlier, I think there are just as many people in our community and the lifestyle we meet that are on their second or more marriage than there are, uh, those of us who have been married for a long time. So there's not a right or wrong way to do it.
Well, and that's where I would, I would challenge the statement is, uh, you know, it's, it doesn't matter if you've been in for 30 years or been in for five it's are you willing to have that conversation and some people never get there and it doesn't matter if it's your first or your fifth marriage if you're never prepared to have that conversation you never will have that conversation right and speaking of conversations so who started the conversation well tell us your or the beginnings of your lifestyle conversations, so who started the conversation?
Well, tell us your or the beginnings of your lifestyle story, like whose idea was this? How did you come up with it? What did those initial conversations look like? Oh, this this was totally me.
You know, I'll preface it with um I kind of had floated something out to to Beth um shortly before our marriage but real real like softball type thing and just kind of was gauging things but I've been listening to this podcast um shortly probably after you guys came out with the podcast oh wow I remember like I had i had a sirius xm membership back in the day and they had a playboy radio channel so of course i'm all risk a because i'm listening to playboy radio uh and they had the swing um show on there and so i'm listening to that because i didn't subscribe to the so you can only listen to it.
And you would, it interested me. And so from that, then eventually got into the podcast, found your guys' podcast, listened to the podcast for quite a while, but very much the listened to the podcast. And then when I would park the car, because it'd be the drive to work or something, go find a different station. So when you hop into the car again, you don't have to.
This is going to start a conversation I'm not sure i'm ready to have yet so you were smart so so can i ask you mark um while you were listening and you hadn't introduced this to beth what was your thought process on was it more okay i want to learn more about this to see if i would like it before i introduce to her or i know i want to do this and i'm looking for a way to bring her into this what was your thought process on how and when you were gonna or bring beth into the conversation i don't think there was ever a strategy to bring beth in it was much more um i'm an engineer by trade so it's collect all the information you can um so like listen to every podcast and um I was already going back and listening to it a second time uh and then you know there are a couple other podcasts out there that I was listening to so the information was there and so I I remember what triggered me to ask the question was had gone back and listened to your guys's episode one where you're like hey if you don't know how to broach the thing book a trip to pearl and see what happens um we were talking about uh maybe we should take another winter holiday uh we had we just moved to the small town um covid was just kind of clearing its way and we're like okay let's travel and so uh we didn't want we had been to cuba we didn't want to go back to cuba you know as canadians we can go to cuba we get to do that as canadians yeah yeah so we didn't want to go back there we want to go somewhere different and so we were kind of flipping through you know what was available on the uh the travel points on the credit card and they're like i'm like is this desire pearl on there click yeah it's there awesome i've heard it's good no question on who did i hear this from just oh okay so up the website.
Well, Pearl doesn't promote itself as an LS resort. It promotes itself as a clothing option. Clothing option doesn't even say lifestyle friendly. It's just clothing optional and be romantic and do all those things. And it's like, so of course, you know, best, like I've got no problem losing my top. Sure.
good book great let's go so we booked we booked in july to fly in december and so that caused a lot of new conversations to happen so as much as we're strong communicators and we've talked about everything under the sun that was one thing we hadn't talked about yet so so all of the mark all of this information that you're absorbing in your engineer mind and then you booked the trip to desire pearl had you at this point in time said anything to beth about all this information that you were researching not a squeak okay Okay, so Beth.
It's fun when you're like, hey, honey, we might need to take condoms with us. And it's like, why? No, I don't think I said why. What I recall is like, well, if everyone's naked all the time, I suppose that makes sense that you should be prepared just in case. You know, I was like, that sounds reasonable. So you didn't freak out then? I didn't freak out.
was very curious but i did not freak out so then okay let me make sure i got this right you had looked at the website it was clothing optional sexy vacation you you got you're all in on that but when the condom conversation came up then it was it was almost immediate oh okay well that makes sense there was no still registering of what you were getting yourself into absolutely clueless yeah yeah i had i had unlike mark i had not explored and not investigated and not been uh even aware of a context for uh lifestyle uh related activities just completely completely clueless so did you ask any bet did you ask any other questions did you go to the website did you start researching it more yourself or were you just like i'm in book it and i'll worry about it when we get there well I think I think I went all in on the booking and then as we you know talked about preparation for the trip certainly before the condom conversation came up we were talking about what the trip might be like and so you know and so you know Mark was able to share some of the more generalities.
So, you know, related to, you know, what a space like that could mean that there was couples there that, you know, just like being, you know, like without their clothing or there could be other couples that might be a little bit more adventurous, you know, some exhibitionism or whatever. And so I think we got to that point before the conversation came up, you know, that that there was a chance that people, you know, we would see sexual activity kind of going on around the space. And, you know, that didn't really fuss me either.
I was pretty liberal, sexually, you know, on the in between the husband's track that I had. So, you know, I wasn't too fussed about that part either. Not quite sure what that meant as far as where Mark was coming from, but I also hadn't asked at that point because he was broaching things and I just kind of respected him to be bringing things up in due course as he kind of was comfortable. I wasn't anticipating anything because like I said, I had no context, right? So if I was aware of lifestyle being a thing, I might've been super curious and asked some probing questions.
But honestly, I was super naive.
So at this point in time, you still don't know he's listening to the podcast right nope so so it never it never entered your mind like how does he know so much about this resort i mean because you probably listen to several of our podcasts about desire pearl at this point in time so did you just play it cool mark or did you because i would have felt like if i overshared somebody might say well how do you know so much about this place and i typically am a nosy one then i'll be like what do you mean why where did you find this what's going on who told you about and i didn't that's strange actually you didn't ask so i didn't offer so okay so how far uh how far ahead of the trip did you book so it was we we booked in a july for december oh okay so you have six months this is on the calendar for six months that's almost exactly our situation we booked in july for a november trip yeah and but what with us though honey you're you started doing the research on i found i kept seeing the word lifestyle on trip advisor and i didn't know what it meant so i was the one that found it and i was really um surprised by it okay a little different pathway yeah and so you have six months to talk about it so during six months, what conversations happened from between the time you booked it and you got on the airplane to get to go to Mexico?
I think we slowly kind of broached the, if there was an opportunity, we might be okay with it, but there was going to be a lot of, you know, call them boundaries, rules. You know, we were still, like, even though I listened to the podcast, you know, I'm now on lap two. We were still, it's one thing to do it theoretically, and there's another one to be, okay, we're having this conversation as a couple.
right oh so i'm being very mindful of best speed and and i'm not like hey let's listen to this podcast it's just let's we slowly walked into a lot of conversations and uh so eventually like the condom conversation it's like well why would you need condoms well you know like there may be swingers there and they may think we're attractive and they we make you know in boy scout philosophy you know be prepared doesn't mean you have to use yeah your matches your matches your magnifying glass and your condoms yeah exactly so your compass we we we walked into pearl with you know zero expectation to you know join lifestyle there was that was never the intent to go and um you know and it's funny because we talk about like you go to pearl a bunch of people are like are you comfortable with top on top off bottoms on bottoms off what are the guys you know as much as i'd been listening to the pot i was i was the prude of of the two of us like best top off first day I I didn't get rid of my swim trunks in the main pool until the last day and it was only because I wanted to go in the pool but I didn't want to have a wet suit for the airplane so I'm like that was the only day that I didn't wear a suit in the main pool and it still took me four days in the jacuzzi.
So that was a very rational choice that you made for convenience purposes, as opposed to nakedness purposes. Yeah, that's right. So how did the week go? Okay. So it took you a few days to take your suit off, but did you explore? Did you meet people? I mean, how did it go? Well, we're both pretty chatty. So we talked to all sorts of people and we met several couples that we were still in contact with. And that actually was the reason why we went down to Pearl this past August is there was a vow renewal and we got invited from a couple that we met that very first trip almost three years ago.
So that was really great. And just both of us really enjoy authentic, real conversations without posturing or pretense. And so that was right away a really good fit as far as the space that you encounter in Pearl, as you are very aware. Um, and so we really enjoyed that piece of being there. And, um, you know, I think that, that because of that, because of that openness that we have with one another and that we have just in, in enjoying other people and social settings, we were able to, to really have some good connections and conversations.
And so, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't trade it. Like it was great. Yeah.
So yeah so we we ended up there was three lifestyle adjacent couples we ended up talking to and spent the whole weekend hanging out with so there there was there was no there was no play of any uh sort I mean like you know we we drank fireball and whatever you know your drink of choice was and dinners together type thing but there was there was no there was no outside play uh beyond our boundaries well and i'm going to back up to the conversations for a sec now hearing you talk about that because you know the typical icebreaker question when you're in a social setting and you're meeting other people in the lifestyle is oh how long you've been in the lifestyle and i hardly even knew what that term meant by the time we went to Pearl even, because like Mark said, we didn't really get into any nitty gritty, particularly before we left.
And so I just kind of looked at him. I'm like, I don't even know the answer to that question. Like, does this mean that we're there? Like, I don't even know. And so, you know, so that was good conversation right conversation right there how long you've been the lifestyle and then i felt like i was kind of you know under mark's tutelage even on the vernacular of the space you know i didn't even know what the what the language was all about so like you thought vanilla was a flavor of an ice cream right absolutely it Absolutely. It is, isn't it?
I like the, I like the vanilla bean flavor myself, but this, and this, you know, we, we talked to a lot of people and this is my favorite throw bet under the bus story is that, you know, obviously there are swingers there.
We're still quite new and there was one couple that did take an interest in us and so they came over and they chatted us up in jacuzzi and the next day they walked by where we're sitting it's like oh hey we've got this high-end bottle of bourbon just let the bar know that you're interested and and so you know we weren't quite yeah we weren't picking up on all the clues um you know that's completely oblivious to what's going on. Me, I don't read flirting well. So, you know, we're already two steps behind. And then Beth had noticed the wristbands.
So, you know, for those who haven't been to Pearl, Yellow, which we had at that point, brand new, White is your, been there. Red was the mansion. Right.
They they had red bands on and so they were talking to us and again flirting and the like and beth goes oh you you're in the mansion i i would love to go over and get a tour of the mansion nice nice one beth right you had no idea I was like, oh, no no no no that's not what i meant at all it's like you invited yourself over to their place i didn't say that to them but i said i was mortified when mark clued me in so did you see the mansion no no's not what I meant. We didn't talk to them again that trip. It got really quiet and they moved on to less naive, uh, opportunities.
So Beth, when you were there and you know, you observe things going on around you throughout the week, did you imagine yourselves in any of the scenarios? I don't know what your background was as far as, did you see other women interacting with each other and you were like, oh my God, that looks kind of intriguing? Or were you like, oh, didn't expect to see that? I mean, what did you see that either really surprised you in a good way or kind of startled you? I don't recall seeing any girl-girl play. Mind you, we didn't get to the disco at all the whole trip on that trip.
So maybe that would have been different had there been, like, a dance floor environment. But I didn't really see that. And that, that probably would have surprised me because that's not something that I had as part of my social space previously.
There was some, some group sex swapping on the jacuzzi beds that I was like, dang, they are like very comfortable in with all of one another's, um you know so did you did you guys have uh sex on the any of the beds around the jacuzzi yourselves no but we see mark's got a better memory my recollection was was when we were early in the evening space in the jacuzzi and you went down on me up on the on the mushroom that was that was pretty hot i was very excited by that but um yeah tell the story about the sex on the jacuzzi bed and remind me no we we snuck over one of the afternoons oh yeah but it wasn't like in front of like 100 people in the jacuzzi no yeah no but okay go back to going down on her in the middle of the hot tub again there wasn't a whole lot of people there there was like almost was there anyone there i don't think maybe like maybe we took it we took opportunity of you know it's it's the sexy environment everybody was at the disco so it's like we're at a doozy because it was like but it was in public and it was so crazy well that's that's what i mean somebody somebody could have been watching yes and did that yeah well yeah they don't they don't pay attention i would have to say that i did really lose myself in the moment and the only consciousness i had about the public nature of where we were was just kind of a connect in with the real world and how exciting that made the experience because of that someone could be watching, like you said, Mr.
Jones. So yeah. Yeah. So Mark, you mentioned earlier that maybe, I forget what the word was that you used but you indicated that you didn't think you were very good at flirting correct well you two are a very striking couple uh you know thank you tall and stature beth your red hair especially your dimples I mean, your boobs are nice too, but your dimples, and you two together seem to, people are aware of you for a lot of different reasons. Did you notice that at all, that people approached you?
Or did you have any perception of how others might be seeing you because unless unless i'm i'm sure that you agree with me that oh they they are very um just you're very warm and there's just really comfortable chemistry between the two of you so it's like in a very sexy way i'll preface it that but you're you're a very safe couple to approach because you can just tell that you're going to make a conversation easy so did people approach you or did you approach other people or both i think i think it's a both like i don't think it's one of those things we don't really keep a scorecard on so it's you know yeah yeah you just we're and if anything in the lifestyle i've learned how to have those conversations even easier than i used to but i think we both are quite oblivious to people flirting with us or obviously if i invited myself to the mansion can i'm seemingly you know so you know i think even you know even when mark and i met like i wouldn't say that that um i was you know picking up on cues or anything of that nature i thought he i thought he liked me just fine but you should tell right now you should tell the golf story this this is how bad i am for catching these things so our second date we're on golf, nine-hole golf date.
And Beth asked me to stand behind her. She's wearing a shorter golf skirt. A golf skirt. And so she's asked me, can you watch where my ball is going? I am terrible at tracking the ball. So legit, I really needed his help. So I'm standing behind her. She swings, takes a shot, and she turns to me and goes, were you looking at my ass? And I'm like, no, you asked me to watch the ball. It's over there. And that was my effort at flirting, which obviously crashed and burned. At least I could find my ball. I don't think that tee shot was awful either, so that was good.
But then I was almost insulted that he wasn't watching my ass, you know? I was like, oh, well, maybe I misread him or something, you know? This was our second date ever. So what was your first date? It was a horrible met. Met later in the evening for beers at a local pub. Beth had had a pretty bad – well, she worked with some bad work day, was not in the mood. I had been to a different volunteer organization. I had a couple of pints before I got there. So I was trying not to be loopy. And it was so loud. It was tough to hear people.
And I didn't know bugger all about craft beer at that point and so and i wasn't smiling so i'm surprised we're both surprised i got a second date so well and i just i i kind of said to myself you know he didn't smile but you know maybe it was the filters i had because you know i had a pretty rough day you know maybe i'll give the guy another shot and um and that was the golf date we arranged and and that was fun enough actually the the couple we got paired with by the green on the second hole asked how long we'd been together oh my gosh yeah and so to your point mrs jones about you know us being warm or seeming comfortable with one another like apparently that happened pretty fast out of the gate because if this couple is who's been married decades you know they were probably in their early 60s is my guess yeah and and they're asking how long we've been together i don't know like how long did it take us to do two holes like i don't know like one day one day to 30 minutes that's incredible yeah so are we so you come home from pearl and are we getting any closer to the time mark that you came clean about the podcast um no still no hadn't i didn't mention it somebody in the jacuzzi mentioned it so um again we're chatting up random folks six ways from sunday one lady had recommended the Two Hot Wives podcast.
So we, because where we were living at that point, it was a five-hour flight from Cancun to Calgary and then a six-hour drive from Calgary to where we lived.
And so we had plenty of time in the car to listen to podcasts so right so they had made that recommendation we had downloaded the uh the two hot wives and they start episode one season i'm gonna interject and back up for one sec because why would i even say oh yeah sure let's listen to a podcast and it was because by the time there was that many days that there was conversations about this lifestyle stuff going on that clearly Mark had some sort of awareness about and he was acknowledging that he was familiar with that type of, right. But you didn't, you didn't like you said, tip hand, Mr.
Jones, but I don't like, I wouldn't say there was any hand tipping, but you had, I think you may have said at that point that you had brought the notion up to your former wife and that didn't go over well which made me even more interested to know about it because you know I can be the better wife of course right oh that's a great line that is a great we need to stop right here so for those of you who are on a second marriage that's a great line to throw out i didn't even think about brilliant mark that's brilliant work like a charm you know i come up with all these winners so yeah so i had i had at least heard enough about enough things that i was like i'm a curious person so i you know i i think i was properly primed to very be very interested in learning more by that point and like there wasn't you know there wasn't people like jumping out of the bush and dragging you in off into the you know this beside the pool or anything of that nature trying to jump you you know there was you know even these people from the mansion were you know they were very polite and cordial they weren't standoffish or you know giving us the stink eye or anything like that so you know it couldn't be that bad i could learn more so yeah so they they recommended the two hotwives podcast if you listen to episode one of their first season they start right off the bat if you haven't listened to the joneses yet stop now go download their podcast and listen to them before you come back here.
Okay. So that, that worked out well because, Oh, Hey, look what's on the phone. Yeah. You love it when I love it when a plan comes together, just like you drew it up. Well, and this, this lady in the, in the jacuzzi said, Oh, you should listen to the two hot wives podcast, not the hot wives, like those hot wives.
I'm like, what is a hot wife, wife mark and so then we got to play dictionary.com again and you know but yeah that's my level of naivety when we were there yeah so so you're listening to a podcast now um so that so obviously today you're in a much different place so how how did it progress from and how uh how long ago was this trip to pearl you said three years ago yeah it would have been december of 21 yeah okay so you're two and a half years into this so so what what was your progression like um we want to hear the the good the bad and the ugly so we we had an infrared sauna in our uh place in uh saskatchewan and it was um it had a bluetooth and so every day after work we would go and sit in the infrared and uh um we would listen to a podcast we're you know you're in there for an hour and you you would uh you would listen for an hour and we would pause and have conversations about whatever we're hearing and uh and so about six weeks later um after well we probably listened to 40 or 50 podcasts at that point it would take us a long time to get through one episode though right because we Because we would start listening and then I would have a question even about, you know, even something more than just what does that word mean?
You know? And so then we would pause and then have a dialogue about it and then restart the podcast. So it would take, we were probably three to one. It would take us three hours for a one hour. We got a thing episode. So yeah, thank you.
It was was great really good meeting mr jones so yeah so then after after about six weeks and all the podcasts we've listened to um you know beth we were actually heading for best dinner and birthday dinner and uh beth just turns and says yeah let's do it uh and so uh we had some more conversation at um dinner that night and uh we we came home and uh we signed up for the we got a thing community and um the following friday was uh was your friday meet and greet and so that was our our first step into the lifestyle and uh you know from there it's been two and a half years of some interesting adventures and opportunities.
But at this point in time, weren't you living up near the North Pole somewhere? Well, everywhere in Canada feels like it's somewhere near the North Pole. So at that point, we were still... We were 10 miles from the United States at that point.
At that point, we were 10 miles from the united states at that point we're 10 miles from the u.s oh okay we moved further north and then um we had an opportunity uh with my employer uh they've got multiple uh locations uh through the world and so there was an opportunity to come into the u.s and so we looked at some of the places that um were and it was, do you want to go to Nebraska? Do you want to go to Minnesota? Do you want to go to Kansas? And so because there's a large KC contingent within the community, we're like, you know what? Kansas might not be a bad. So what you're saying is that.
You went to the hotbed. What you're saying is that our community has increased the property values in the Kansas City area because you're moving there to be in the Mecca. There you go. Yeah, I'll say that, sure. Yeah, but when you started this in Canada, though, were you in a town that you could meet people or did you have to?
yeah let's let's talk about you putting your eskimo gear on and uh you know your your battery heater is going and and you frostbite and like and i imagine we didn't have to walk to meet other couples we were okay we can take the car with the heater yeah yeah we're only bringing dog sled out in the really cold day so yeah in fairness mr jones we were really far from like everywhere so like mark said the after we got back from pearl that first year we had a five-hour drive to get back to where we lived and because because of that, I won't even say isolated, but it was just geographically far from other things.
It was, you know, the nearest meet and greet was four hours away. Um, you know, and that was kind of the, the, you know, the first place people often will go is, is to a meet and greet.
And so that was a track so we had much more time in the car to do more podcasts so so when was the describe the first time you had like physical interaction with another couple how well i mean you know this conversation this conversation so far you guys are like so nonchalant not a big deal uh yeah we learned it's a little it's fun and you know there's got to be you know some trepidation some anxiety or or did you just like go into your first experience and ho-hum and went and went well and we many months later yeah we we had a we had a number like we would drive the four hours to meet and greet and then the next month there was a hotel takeover and we hadn't learned how to use our words at that point so there was this there and then we you know again you got the four hour drive home to unpack the we should learn to use our words um and and so So every time had to go somewhere it was four hours of podcast there four hour debrief on the way back uh and so can you can i interrupt you that can you do you since mark you're the one with the memory you know um not not knowing to use your words that's something that a lot of people struggle with so what when you said you had a swing and a miss, so there was an opportunity there that you missed.
Can you tell us more about how that went? Yeah, there was a couple we had met at the meet and greet. We had been chatting with them on the phone. Beth had been sending some sexy pictures.
And so we thought there was a four-way connection and I would still say there was but we kind of went up so the next month when we went to the to the hotel takeover we we put ourselves out there kind of like hey went to visit the room type thing but didn't know how to initiate anything and and so they were the more senior couple so it would have been nice if they had shown us yeah and yeah didn't uh and so it was kind of like we we went and then we didn't know what a hotel takeover was so um we didn't really you know jump into everything both feet uh so there was a there was a couple opportunities there you know beth beth got to experience um some fun with a uh there was a guy doing a uh impact room and so there was some opportunities to do a little exploration there and so um so there was some some side stories that will go with that uh but uh the the whole we went and then it gave us an opportunity to debrief and every time we went to one of these events um you know we always seemed to be on the swing and a miss and so we'd have a debrief so well when you say always there was like three opportunities because so we had we had this initial meet and greet and then a month later we chose to go back to this hotel takeover thing not really knowing what to expect but at least we knew that this couple that we'd met that we had a good conversation with was going to be there um and their closest 20 other friends that were already in the little pocket of ls people in that area so we already felt like the third wheel, um, or fifth with 25th wheel or whatever um yeah so i mean you know like like to put that in context for you know it's not like we were every other weekend you know had the opportunity to have conversations with people so let's get to the part where you did a swing and a hit how did that go so so we joined the we go to think community in february and then it was our first trip to pearl with you guys uh november before we had any experiences and and the funny part there was is that we connected with a couple we had been actually checked because of the the friday calls we'd actually lined up a call with them so we had built and we went to las vegas and well we swung and miss in vegas too right but we met some people we met some people at the wgt event in las vegas so so there were a few people that we knew so by the time time we got to Pearl, it wasn't trying to break ice.
There was some familiarity. And so this one couple that we had built a bit of a four-way connection with, we ended up dinner back to our place. And it was a fantastic first opportunity. And then as we were kind of all like lying there afterwards. Wait.
So typically, and i'm gonna so this frames up some of the questions that mr and mrs jones have asked and it's you know you know was there a progression right because typically there is a progression like you know sometimes people have a no kissing rule and then that you know you kind of throw that out or that type of thing or you start out soft swap and then okay well maybe we might be ready to go full swap we like full on like full swap first experience very comfortable like it was great because like mark said we had kind of a had a rapport established with these two and had met them in person previously even though there wasn't any opportunity for any intimate time or anything like that and so then we ended up in this situation where they turns out that they were our first you know couple experience so so then i i know i and i know this a little bit uh from mark being in the men's chats but you're there are you've got more experience now um so what what do I mean, how would you describe your thing now in the, in the lifestyle?
Like when somebody says, Hey, what's your thing? Are you this? Are you full? Are you soft? Is your, now that you, you know what a hot wife is now. I've got a good idea now. Yeah, I do. So how did that, how did, what do you enjoy now? Well, I think that, um, you know, we, I, I had a better idea of that, um, earlier than Mark did.
In fact, even though he was the, the instigator of this whole scenario, because, um, you know, Mark, you were really good at following my lead and not putting any pressure on me and really, you know, checking in and making sure that I was comfortable with whatever pace in whatever scenario that we were looking to explore.
Um, and I really have a good understanding now why you weren't jealous because it became part of our conversations really early on after we decided to join the WGT community and get into the lifestyle that that you were very much interested in me spending time by myself with other men.
and so you know i i finally put the pieces together and that was not right away by the way just you know if everyone thinks i'm that clever now no no no it still took like a couple of months for me to go oh he likes he really is encouraging me to be spending alone time with other oh oh and that turns him on oh and oh okay so that would be why he's not a jealous person I want it now and so that really started making sense and then I felt more free to actually explore that piece because like I said between my marriages I really I kind of was on a mission to like stuff the double standard of guys can just go out and get whoever and if they want to have a one-night stand then they're the superstar the rock star in the locker room I was like no screw that like I can do that if I want and go ahead and judge me and call me whatever you like and I'll embrace that and so but I couldn't let Mark know that when we started dating because I wanted like I wanted to hang on to you because he was a good one right so I couldn't have him think that I was a whore like tramping around and slutting around like that you know and so now i've got him like kind of the the good end that the that evil devil on my shoulder the devil and the angel both saying the same thing in each ear and and i was so i yeah it was great um so so beth let me let me let's talk about that for a minute because you didn minute because you wanted Mark to have a certain impression of you, but yet you had this experience when you were single.
So when you made the connection that this is what Mark wanted, was that very liberating for you?
that kind of align with with who you were more so or or were you or when you were single was that more not not you like like have you become more of of your authentic self i guess that's the question right right i would say i would say yes but i don't think that i made a full like i i think the original recognition that that was why mark isn't a jealous person in our relationship that made sense but i don't believe that i felt free to be acting on it the way i kind of freely am now more in the last few months, even, until I kind of put those pieces together, I was like, you know, when I was single, I dated more than one guy at once.
And I was open and straightforward with each of them. And they knew that I was seeing other people. And so it wasn't until I connected the ethical piece and the non-monogamy piece, and I'm talking 15 years ago, right? Like this is kind of, you know, the timeframe that I'm was recalling and having the new language and all of the, you know, the new lexicon I have to work with in my inventory now with this lifestyle.
You know i i really think that that's what i was going on for me at that point in time so to your direct question i think that i very much am far closer to my authentic self um as i am now and encouraged and and inspired by mark to be that way and do those things that i feel good about. Well, and that's what I wanted to say. How cool is it that now you have a partner who not only is okay with you doing that, but encouraging you to do that. And without the jealousy, without the judgment, without anything diminishing his role in your relationship.
So isn't it kind of ironic that what you were kind of going, and I forget the word you used. It was like, F it. I'm going to be the one that's going to ask the guys out. I don't care what society tells me. And then you end up with somebody who wants you to be right there. Yes. I mean, that's kind of mind-blowing if you think about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's really great. Yeah. So, Mark, when did you first discover that you wanted to watch? No. Oh, I don't want to jump to conclusion.
Do you enjoy watching beth with other guys or do you enjoy the fact that she just is it separate dating and separate play like what do you get out of that dynamic it's for me it's the it's more the she's um she has other men attracted to her and we're acting on it it's not a me sitting in the corner watching type thing that's wouldn't say that's really our jam i mean there are some out there so it's not a yucking anybody's yum um i know there's there's several you know guys in the lifestyle that guys in the hot wife um environment that that is their thing for me, it's just knowing that I have this, this beautiful redhead, uh, that's turning heads that, uh, people want to be with.
And so very much, you know, you know, what you can call it a ego stroke or pumping your chest or it's just, um, it's just, it's awesome to see. It's awesome to hear. Um, The compersion for me goes through the roof. I mean, it was us joining the lifestyle that I finally learned what that meant. It's like, I just always said, not jealous. It's not, I have this compersion streak that's a freaking mile wide. Right.
And it's more of that than, you know, like you appreciate others, you know, seeing me as attractive and and me being sought after but your primary driver from what you've described to me is that you sincerely get lit up by me enjoying that myself in that space and so there's you know there's no dynamic of oh and then I get to take her back and she's coming home to me. Like, that's not your motivation. No. So do you go out with other guys and Mark while you're at home? Or is that specifically what you do? Well, for the first several months of 2024, I was looking for work. So I was between jobs.
So I really treasured every moment that Mark was home because he was at work all day and so I wouldn't I he would encourage me but I was not interested in spending time if he if it was a time that I could be spending with him right and so since I've started working now we've gotten more more free about, you know, maybe Mark's on the deck and I've got, you know, someone over and we're spending time in the guest room or maybe I'm out for lunch or that type of thing. So, yeah, I would say, you know, solo dating is definitely how we could, it would be fair to describe that now.
and back to your original questions, how you described this, we're still very much swingers dating as a couple. Primarily. This is just a facet to the whole, where do we fit in the lifestyle? One of the things we even talked about here is, would we even consider a swally-type situation?
And it's like, there's nobody in our sphere right now that we would say hey this is who we'd like to swally with all right but we wouldn't we wouldn't necessarily say no to it either but again that was a five-hour drive to a float trip we had time to listen to podcasts and so that was right as we listened to so so beth do you um i want to i want to talk about this a little bit more because this is something that is always intriguing to people. When you, how do you find single guys? Are they the guy of a couple that you've met? Do you go out on a dating site?
Do you just go to a bar and smile those dimples and blink your eye I mean what what is your what is your motive here what is your mo well that last one you mentioned is one of Mark's volumes in his library of it would be really cool to hear about Beth doing this um but that's not what's happened so far and I mean until just recently like I'd say the last six months I wasn't solo with anyone who I didn't already know okay like the first the first solo play experience I had that um Mark had encouraged me to kind of run with was with someone I had actually dated 20 years ago.
And so, you know, when we've got into the lifestyle, Mark's like, Oh, you know, I mean, you should get a little flirty with someone or whatever. And I knew right away who that person was, that, you know, I felt would be pretty receptive. And, and so that's kind of, I really cut my teeth on that scenario in a very comfortable space with someone I really trusted.
And so I think that that really set the stage for, for being able to kind of blossom in how I approach that solo dating space, but it's only been the last six months that i've been looking kind of to someone who i didn't have previous contacts with it's not we haven't really actively been seeking to i don't want to say cleave off but connect with guys that are the male partner of a couple that we know that's not really what what we've done in this space. And so we just went on the local dating site.
You know, I tried to get Mark to filter through them first, and I just didn't want to spend the time. But, you know, it ended up being the first date with someone that I hadn't previously met was through the dating site and so I was a little I won't say apprehensive but I really trust Mark's spidey sense for being able to read people and I've been out of practice doing that for the 10 years that Mark and I have been together so I was like you know maybe my maybe my radar is a little dull yeah right now let's take Mark along.
So, Mark, if I understood what you were saying, what turns you on is the fact that other men find her attractive and want to be with her. Yeah, it's one of the two parts. And then the other part that's best described was the hearing her experience with it.
So comes home or she tells you about the experience yeah and did mark them with you is that what you were getting ready to say that was the first date yes but not the first solo experience so i had had these solo experiences with people that i already knew that were previous partners ages ago but the first date was someone that i had never met before that was just kind of like a you know like you would as a single person that you're on tinder or you're on whatever dating app um he came along with and that is that is worth mark's two cents because it's pretty funny well i think i think it's funny yeah so the two of them had been flirting online and it's like that let's meet up he drove into town um we all we all went for drinks i'm sorry mark were you included in the flirting or was this something that no okay i could i could have been it's not like she hid it from me it was just right but it was a two-way it was a two-way very much okay so they had built at least enough of a report hey let's meet they go to meet best like hey you should come with me uh just make sure that everything's right and so i'm sitting there at the table and the two of them are all googly-eyed and teenager-ish but it was also that it was also that i'm sorry to interrupt but it was also the fact that that I wanted to make sure that the person I was out with knew that Mark was aware.
Because at some point in time, with Mark's stature, if there's an inkling that they believe he's not aware, they would be very afraid. I would be concerned. I would be concerned. Right? I be concerned right mark coming after me that's right right so and yeah you're so mild tempered that would never be a thing for everybody on everybody on the uh audio side of this um yeah i'm six three with a shaved head um so and broad as much as i can be warm that can get turned very quickly to not very warm and not very warm. Yeah, yeah. Right.
So they have this date, and it's not like I'm sitting three tables over. I'm at the table. I'm engaged in some of the conversation, but it's very clear they're on a date, and I'm third wheeling. And it was, when we got home, Beth was really excited about it, and she's like, and how are you? And I'm like, I felt like I was a bouncer all night, like I'm not at that same speed as you, and that was really when we, and again, because we'd never been in that situation before, we didn't know what to expect, and so Beth was very turned on. She had a great encounter.
This guy was, could be, you know, and eventually did become a play partner. But I was very much like, I wasn't there as a participant in this lifestyle thing. I was very much a, you know, I am making sure that Beth is safe and secure. So when I got home, I had i bounced in a previous life i had been hired as a bartender because of my stature so that that whole thing got turned on so when i came home it's like yeah i'm ready to bed i'm just going to bed and not turned on in a sexual way and i was vibrating because mark's like oh just walk out to the car with him.
See, you know, like have a good night kiss or whatever. Well, we full on made out in the parking lot. And then Mark, he walked me back to the car and Mark's driving home. And, you know, how was that? Great. And so I'm ramped right up. I think I'm going to jump my husband when I get home and it's going to be fireworks all over the place.
And he's like, nope, that is not where my head's at's at i'm like that didn't work out the way i was hoping um yeah but what about um what about when you do reconnect mark when you when when you because you're getting something out of this you you see somebody's attracted to her she goes out she has a great time and and that's that's that turns you on but like is is the sex different um you know what what are you getting out of it physically if anything um i don't think i would say the sex we have is any different than any other given night i mean you hear a lot of stories about people that you know got to have thation sex that you know whether it's a hot wife scenario or a swinger scenario or whatever it is that you know we're done and then we go home and then we automatically reconnect beth and i don't we don't seem to run on that speed and again you know maybe maybe there's a bunch of people that are just telling some really good stories like they have sex four times times in the night.
Um, we're, we're not that couple. Um, and so our reconnection might be the next morning. It might even be the next night. You know, we'll talk about what's going on. We, you know, it could be a turn on situation. It could just be a really good recall.
Um, we reconnect with each other in in the way that reconnect um if one of us is gone for two days um that you know it's it's we that was a conversation we had because beth has a bit of travel with her work that reconnection doesn't necessarily need to have another couple involved it could just be simply a matter we haven't been where we needed each other to be for a period of time and that reconnection happens in that manner so yeah and because it's not a possessiveness thing it's like i don't think that drive is there to kind of like get back together close in that space because we felt apart from one another during that time yeah yeah any more the whole remarking your territory exactly exactly that mrs.
yeah anyway these are the things that you know as as kind of we we begin to wrap up here these are the kinds of things that no matter how long you've been in the lifestyle no matter where you were when you started because you probably two three years ago if you would have known you probably couldn't predict where where you are right now and oh no and what yeah three years ago i couldn't even predict it i was going to be in kansas let alone what we were doing in lifestyle so yeah yeah so i want to give you an opportunity i've asked we've asked you a lot of questions and it's been a fun conversation what is that you'd like to leave listeners with um you know words of advice or uh and i haven't heard any it sounds like you guys have been pretty smooth sailing even when you had a swing and a miss it sounds like you handled it like a mature loving rational well and as a team yeah and as a team so is there anything that you'd like to i know if if it's we're gonna say you know any one piece of advice whether whether you're considering getting into the lifestyle or been in there for a while use use your words.
I mean, it's, we, we took it right from the two hot wives. They, they, and we will say it as well. Use your motherfucking words. Um, because people, the transition is impossible. The blah, blah. I don't know. You know what? Stop being subtle.
Just if you want, you will, you want to get involved in lifestyle yeah respectful obviously but i mean you want to get in the lifestyle say it if you want to sleep with another couple say it if they're if you want your you know wife to sleep with a contractor say it like it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to come true but at least talk about it like we that's the one joke we have is that people say oh you guys are like frank and straight out and but it's like no we just use our words and we've run into you know our we use in the community and you guys know this as well the og the originals um they're just as bad of using their words, and they've been in for five, six, seven, eight, 10, 12, 20 years.
They've been in there and they still can't seem to say the words, Hey, we think you're attractive. We would like to have sex with you. Like you just can't. And it's like, we're the newbies.
We go so far as to say, I know that probably caught you off guard, especially since we're new that we were so direct so we're going to give you a little time over here to have a conversation about that in case you haven't yet and we just go away and we actually articulate that whole thing just like what mark and i just said and not we don't always do it because we are certainly still learning too but more often often than not, that's how we go into a comp, like go into an interaction is if we recognize something that, that, you know, we're, we seem to be really clicking with a couple then, you know, and we, we tend to be, um, we tend to be very mindful and open with one another.
And so we will squirrel ourselves away for that private conversation about well you know how do you think dinner went would be you know how are you feeling about if this were to progress tonight and so you know and we we make sure that we get our ducks in a row among the two of us so that when we you know kind of have the opportunity to bring that up in conversation with others then we know that we're in lockstep on what that's you know what our Thank you.
when we, you know, kind of have the opportunity to bring that up in conversation with others, then we know that we're in lockstep on what that's, you know, what our, I think that's the key to success. Yeah. Making sure that you're together in the same frame of mind. Yeah. Well, even using your words with each other, you know, not, not just the other couple, because there's times when I may think I may project, well, I know you want to do this.
Well, how do you know I not just the other couple because there's times when i may think i may project well i know you want to do this well how do you know i want to do this we didn't talk about it right well and it's it's your mindset like i got an interesting piece of advice and it applies to this is that you got to choose what hard you want to deal with ask asking another couple you want to have sex with is hard right going home and not doing all the things that you wanted to do is also hard right which which one do you want right because because you're still making a choice so are you are do you want to sit there and play the oh this and then beat yourself up because that's that's not fun that's not easy but you're going to do it because it's like oh i missed and i didn't do this and i didn't do or you could just straight out say it and you know you know you might you might be successful you might not be but you know at the end of the day that's actually the easier than spending you know hours reflecting on the oh we could have done this or we should have done that or was that the sign you know what just ask them straight that's a fantastic way to look at things you know you don't even have to guess at that point they said no oh okay they weren't interested i didn't have to assume that or i didn't have to layer that in they just right especially when the default because of the little voices in your head that we all have from years ago is like it's like well maybe they're not interested well you know if they get it i like i like to close the loop my own self i like closure so if i get a flat no from them i actually would welcome that over still wondering right and so and and that is okay like like if we're gonna ask we've got to be prepared for either response or a not right now or i'm actually really tired but i'm not disinterested or whatever variation you might get back you're still going to have more information than before you went into that type of dialogue right so which is important if you're you know if you're at a lifestyle club or you're at Pearl or there's other couples there.
If you spend all night not using your words and not saying what you mean, you end up at the end of the night and you're going home dissecting what everything happened. Or you could just simply find, you get your no and it's like, well, I still have the rest of the evening or the rest of the trip. Right, who else is around the corner?
right yeah and it's because you you've you've missed that opportunity but now you've also probably missed other opportunities the rest of the evening or the rest of the trip who else is around the corner right yeah and it's because you you've you've missed that opportunity but now you've also probably missed other opportunities because you didn't get closure on the first one so then you you don't even know what you missed and then it's 3 a.m it's 3 a.m and you're too tired to even have sex with each other hey well listen thank you very much guys for for sharing your story so we're going to see you when I'll see you when desire november this november okay holy cow that's less than two months away it is all right well thanks a lot um thanks for having luck to you guys yeah thanks for coming on thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story and i'm sure there's going to be a lot of people out there um that appreciate you know you sharing because the more of these origin stories that we put out the more that people can hear other ways of doing this besides the way the joneses do it yep all right all right we'll take care thank you thanks well welcome back we hope you enjoyed hearing about the story the stories that the our friends the canucks told yeah you know it kind of irritating that they they've just had hardly any problems i couldn't drag any any negative stories out of well i shouldn't say that the bumps in the road that they've had they're so relaxed together and so laid back and so connected that they did i don't think the lids were flipped at all all when they were telling these stories.
It was just they handled them, learned from them, and then kind of moved on. Yeah. Well, I mean, they're both really good communicators. Yes, they are. Yeah. Yeah, but they're really approachable. Like I said, laid back. They kind of roll with the punches. So it was, and, you know, the thing about these orcs. They're really, really easy to talk to.
you know like they're they kind of roll with the punches so it was and you know the thing about these they're really really easy to talk to you know like it they're they're the kind of couple that you can just kind of like walk up to at you know the bar or whatever and it's just so easy to engage in conversation with them yes yep so thank you guys for joining us and if anyone out there would think you might want to share your origin story with the rest of the world you know you might not think that your story is like exciting enough or dramatic enough or or that you know your your pathway in was just very like normal and atypical but the the thing is, is somebody out there needs to hear your story.
We don't know who it is and they don't even know who they are, but they'll hear your story and then they'll just have whatever aha moment that they need to figure out their path forward. Yep.
So if you want to share share send me an email with an outline of just a couple of paragraphs of of your story and i'll get back in touch with you and see if we can make it happen but we appreciate that all right don't forget if you want to join our wgt community you can find information on our website and our website is wegotathing.com and as i've said several times you can email me at mr jones at we got a thing.com or me at mrs jones at we got a thing.com or you can follow us on x or uh on instagram and then don't forget if you want to try sdc oridy, you can get free trials if you sign up on our website.
Yep. So, we are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.
