Episode 118: Desire Riviera Maya and a Life Less Vanilla

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello everyone, I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm Mrsrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 118 of the we got a thing podcast desire riviera maya and a life less vanilla yes life less vanilla we'll talk about that in just a second but first it's nice to be home i know it really is like the months of may and june were just a blur yeah yeah it was a little crazy yeah so all the moving is done the family's all in place got a couple of trips out of the way a couple of drives back to virginia out of the way i mean it was all fun but it was pretty hectic well my my butt has no desire to get in the in a vehicle anytime soon yeah i mean our truck is really nice and it was actually it rode really well it was it was a good traveling vehicle but yeah but my butt says no more yes so we have been living at home we've been actually for the first time in nine months just existing like this past weekend you got a little bit nervous because you tried to put a to-do list together and i kind of nipped that in the butt well it was raining i know so we couldn't do anything but did though we have umbrellas we went out yeah that was fun we went to this really nice cocktail place yes we did you found a new um a new crush of a bartender oh my gosh yes larry yeah larry he made some amazing, and he was so passionate about what he did.

Like, he gave me all of his trade secrets. Yes. Like, I memorized everything. Yeah, and we got to meet a pretty cool couple while we were sitting at the bar, too. Yeah, yeah, this really hot couple sat down next to us, and we just started, like, chewing the fat with them for a little while. They were local, so they had lots of good information to share and a really good story on how they ended up in the area and what they do for a living. Yeah, so it was nice to get out and socialize and do nothing.

We laid around, we went out, we went out to dinner with friends one night, saw family part of the weekend. It was just relaxing. Looking forward to a few more weekends of that. I laid around outside on the covered part of the lanai and I just read my Kindle for like three hours. It was amazing. Well, that's not all you did on the lanai. We might as well go ahead and get it over with. I don't know what we're talking about.

You don't don't remember on saturday afternoon no i think it was sunday afternoon oh our competition oh i thought we were talking about the rain okay no oh we played cornhole yeah let's go ahead and let's go ahead and get it over with so we can get on with the podcast. Say what you need to say. How many games did we play? Three. How many games did I win? Three. People, we have been playing Cornhole for, what, like two decades? We haven't played in a long time. Right.

We have not played in a long a long time that's true i think we did play next door at a little picnic party thing but um yeah so we put the cornhole boards out in the covered part of our lanai they fit actually 27 feet front to front like they're supposed to be well you put you put your bikini on which well it was hot as heck out and we were going to get in the pool after didn't help and you you crushed me the first game i think i had like three or four points you weren't even hitting the board no at first i thought you were letting me win i think my blood sugar was low you know you can't use that excuse all the time well it wasn't windy the sun was not in my eyes I didn't have many excuses except for you were in a bikini so you were distracting me but I mean in the in the like years and years and years that we played cornhole I've beaten you once legit right like I've made you play with your left hand before and you've beat me right I'm I made you do something else i swear i made you like shut your eyes one time or i don't know yeah i think i played left-handed but anyway we can yes i've only beat you once and now i beat you four times right we can well we'll have a rematch you don't want to talk about that anymore we'll have a rematch this weekend but you you were actually a gracious loser.

Yeah, that's because you said you felt so bad for me, you'd give me a blowjob, which you still owe me, by the way. I know. Well, we had to leave and go to dinner. Okay, so that boosted my spirit.

So before we talk about Desire Revere Mayaaya we have just launched a wgt marketplace in our community i've been working on this for a few months now we have so what is a wgt marketplace i'm so glad you asked so we have a selection of trusted partners business partners that have in some way, shape, or form been a part of our community as members, and they also are business people, and so we've got a few, Expansive Connection is a partner of ours, Libertine, of course, with Kate is a partner of ours. And then we've got five or six additional businesses coming in.

And I will be able to name them pretty soon, as soon as they get their spaces, their stores up and running. But it's a variety of event planners, merchandise sellers, coaches. but these are people who we know and that we trust. And all of their businesses are somehow connected to sex positivity. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. So we're happy that that's open. We're going to do a grand opening here in about another month. So if you are in our community and you haven't seen that yet, it's coming.

If you're not, these folks are also going to be offering community discounts for most of the things that they offer or early registration. There will be some sort of a benefit that you can get inside the community as opposed to out. So we're excited about that. Okay riviera maya it's been 10 years yes we took a picture in asalo is that the name of the restaurant yeah i didn't remember but you remembered you said we need to take a picture in that restaurant because we have a picture of the two of us did we do that that? Yeah. Do you have it? Cause I don't think I have it. Okay, good.

And because we were reminiscing that that was the trip where we came up with the idea of we got a thing. I know room 1411. Yeah. Yeah. That's ridiculous. Yeah. That's right. Cause you made us take a picture and standing in front of that room.

well i didn't remember the room number but i knew exactly where it was because it was like right behind like the dj booth slash towel boy booth or hut or whatever at the at the old rm pool right so it was easy to spot and like we were that morning like if you haven't heard this story it was probably episode one um that morning you and i woke up and we were just like batting around ideas on what we would call our podcast like we had decided to do it before we left for vacation right but we were like trying to figure out what we were going to call the podcast and what we were going to call ourselves.

And we just were throwing stuff out the wall to see if it would stick and nothing was really speaking to us. So we had been at it for a while that morning. So we decided we would just go ahead and table it. And we went to breakfast and at desire in the morning they play like really chill music around the pool you know and then as the day goes on obviously it gets crazier but it was like this really nice music every morning and we were right outside the pool so as soon as we opened the door to the stairs, the song, Me and Mrs. Jones was playing.

So we got down the stairs and I turned around and looked at you and I'm like, I think this is it. Like, I mean, there's so many cliche things about keeping up with the Joneses and then the song, like Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on.

So we ate breakfast and talked about it because then we could be the joneses like it was just like it was all kind of falling into place and we went back to the room and you were trying to find the domain name i guess we were looking for me and mrs jones at first right yes and it was taken yeah and we were kind of crushed yeah but i was like no no, this is just meant to be. So then we just started like, I pulled up the lyrics, started looking through there. And I mean, we got a thing going on. And there it was. Like, it was just, it was like the birthplace. It was. Yeah.

And it's interesting how people talk about Desire Pearl and Desire RM. And there's a little bit of competitiveness between the people that attend both resorts. You have the Pearl people and you've had the RM people. But honestly, we like both of them. We tend to gravitate towards pearl because that's where we went first. But I'll tell you, as far as a spoiler alert, R.M. is fabulous. Yeah, the Eden section that they've opened up is absolutely gorgeous. And it's well laid out. It's very thoughtfully laid out.

To be honest, it's very similar to what gran michez was yes in the dominican republic i mean obviously they were they probably used the same architect i mean it was very similar layout very similar architectural style so how this trip came about was we were supposed to go to gran michez with the group this yeah and of course that last week of june that that uh couldn't happen because that closed down and then so we tried so we moved it over to riviera maya and when we moved it this was long before the eden was open we had no idea what it was going to be like when we got here but the eden uh portion had open But just the entire vibe of the resort is different.

And I know probably some of the hardcore old purists were a little confused. Like they expected to go and have that same vibe and the vibe has just shifted a little bit.

And that's got to be hard for them because like if the same thing had happened at Pearl i would be the same way he's just a little rattled yeah so you walk into this grand uh lobby huge lobby and as you after you check in and come through the lobby um the outdoor space the outdoor space when you come down the stairs out of the lobby you're looking right at the ocean yeah you look beyond the lobby bar beyond the pool beyond the little bit of a beach and and right out into the water it's really a breathtaking view and then most of there's restaurants surrounding the pool there's the lobby bar is really big a lot of the entertainment happened um right there in that courtyard at the lobby bar right it's it's just it's a covered area um so you could be in there when it was raining unless it was monsooning which that happened a couple times and the hot tub is just above the lobby bar and the playroom is just next to the to the hot tub so everything is in that main building and there's an elevator yeah to get up to the disco and the hot tub which is glorious when you have your fuck me heels on yeah the disco is really nice the the playroom is is really big um it's it's laid out nicely so that kudos as far as the resort itself and.

And we have to say that Miguel, who's the hotel manager, he and his team did a great job. We didn't know what to expect because we know everybody at Pearl. We didn't know anybody. We didn't know anybody at RM. And we figured they didn't know who we were, so who cares? We did correspond ahead of time.

And when we got there, he was ready for us very friendly very accommodating um let us plan let's do all the events we wanted to do found us some places to do them offered us a private uh our group only got a really nice strip show yeah one night that was four strippers yeah it was it was pretty cool on the disco floor we were all surrounding them yeah they brought up some hors d'oeuvres and opened the bar for us and brought mr jones out onto the floor and i got they toyed with you a little bit yeah that was pretty hot that might be one of my snapshots yeah uh we did a meet and greet we did a speed dating in the quiet pool it's funny because the quiet pool is the old main pool yeah and it's actually really nice over there it is like we hung out there one afternoon yeah it was super nice yeah i mean there's the bar is still rocking and rolling over there they're still playing playing beach volleyball over there i mean that's where the beach is yeah because where eden is um there's a little bit of a beach in front of one of the buildings but we were in a building right on the water kind of the at the very end of the property and there was a seawall in front of us yeah um there was no beach at all so i mean all of the beachy stuff um and uh shoot, I'm blanking out the name of the bar.

Oh, CeCe's. Yeah, so CeCe's is still open and, yeah. So all the stuff is still there. The only thing that is weird is that the original lobby building is closed. They're going to repurpose it. They're renovating it. Yeah, they're renovating it and they're going to repurpose it.

but right now that's closed so it makes it kind of quiet over there and they've turned the um well the the old bar where the pizza oven and everything was out on that like plaza in the original part is still open but it's a coffee bar in the morning yeah so um actually quite a few members of our group formed a like a little coffee club yeah and they would go hang out over there yeah it was it was a good time we had we had uh we had a workshop expansive connection did a workshop for us one day and then uh two of our friends our members did um a flogging demonstration in the playroom which was it was so much more than a flogging demonstration it was it was i mean it was a workshop and really they've they focus a lot on the psychology of what's going on and and how you can adjust that dynamic to fit your relationship and and your desires as individuals it was amazing yep and then and then well let's talk about the rest of the resort so the management was great um you know the food the food was good i thought the food was fantastic i think they're still ramping up because they're really in their soft opening phase still they're they're still hiring people and they're still training some of the staff so that you know that was a little bit rusty but the food itself was good you're talking about the service the service i thought the food was fantastic um some yeah you could tell they weren't fully staffed because it was hard to get reservations and then you'd walk in and some tables would be empty yeah but that's a staffing issue yeah they'll fix that yeah the entertainment was was pretty good um i think that and the playmakers were good the the vibe is different and you know both riviera maya and pearl had a definite cycle each day you know that there was a routine and that is still evolving there because it's so it's such a large place and there's so many more dining areas and it's spread out a little bit more.

So the vibe is different and people don't move in herds as much as they did before because there's just a lot going on.

Well, I think you hit the nail on the head there there's people don't have their routine down yet because there's they're still using the restaurants in the original part of rm um so you know and those are all the way at the other end of the resort so you you kind of had to like find your rhythm on where you wanted to eat breakfast yeah and you know grab some and yeah I think because it's new everybody was a little discombobulated and then you and I did an event I think every day at 11 o'clock in the morning so you and I I think maybe our perspective is a little off because you and i didn't have a good routine because we had something going every day at 11 well yeah and the hot tub is really cool i mean it's above the it's a great view from up there but the only thing odd about it is the depth the depth of the hot tub well especially for tall guys with long legs yeah like your junk was out of the water yes yeah you either i had to be on my knees or i had to be sitting along the edge because when you stand up all the way it was about to mid thigh was the water height yeah where at pearl um you know it's about it's up to my waist right right and then the pool is kind of deep yeah because i had trouble keeping my hair out of the water you know i'd have have to like put my hair up in a clip if I didn't want the end of my ponytail to get wet.

Yeah. I mean, I know I'm not tall, but yeah. I mean, but those are, gosh, if that's what we have to complain about, it's pretty good. So we had, I think we had about maybe 60 people, 30 couples, but we met so many people. So many people joined our group while we were there. It was really, we're going to do it again. We don't have a date picked out yet. We're going to do another RM event next year along with our Pearl trip next November. So stay tuned for that.

One thing we are going to do is we're going to start sending wgt ambassador hosts and taking smaller groups throughout the year because what we watched happen you you kind of alluded to it when you said the coffee club as friendships started to form during the week people started to get into routines with groups as far as going to dinner together, getting up and going to coffee together. And the great thing about it is it's not about the Joneses. Our trips are not about us. They're about people connecting.

And so we want to provide more opportunities that desire for people to connect and we don't necessarily have to be there so we're working with the resort now to put a few of those weekends together and we'll be announcing those soon too right i mean it's just an opportunity like if you're going to go to desire in february and you know you're going to um if we can just throw a week out there and that week in february works for you that way you know especially See you next time.

in february and you know you're going to um if we can just throw a week out there and that week in february works for you that way you know especially like if you're new yeah it's it's really nerve-wracking yes going in completely blind and not knowing anybody and then what we'll do is we'll put a space together in our community for people to meet and do a couple zooms beforehand to get to know each other that really made a big difference as what people were telling us yeah so i mean we'll do we'll still do our june and november thing but then these will be in addition to that yes yep definitely so so then um we highly recommend the resort i was pleasantly surprised and it was a lot of fun and the the staff and the management were were fantastic and it really did a lot in my mind to wash the bad taste out of my mouth from the whole grammy chase yeah right because that was a debacle uh anyway that this this really does help jump start the credibility of the resort again and desire is sticking to what they do best yeah i mean we we talked to a couple different people um when we were there about what their future plans are and you know i think they're really focusing on their their two desire resorts yes you know as far as maximizing what they can do with them with the property that they have right and it's even going to get better um i guess we should talk about the room real quick we had the diamond oh my gosh we had the diamond suite uh had the hot tub out on the balcony it had two sliding glass doors one from the bedroom and one from the living area had a big table in it a big fully stocked bar in it the living space the sex chair the the paintings on the wall were really sensual the the lighting was amazing they were canvas paintings but they were backlit yeah they were backlit uh you can control the lights from you could set the mood from the lighting they had you know they had the trade ceilings with the lights they had spot the backlit pictures it was really sexy the plenty of storage yeah well the bedroom slash closet was the size of a hotel room yeah so i kudos to that i mean i don't know that well we'd stay there every time um because we don't i mean when we host it's nice to have a space like that to to have events in our room but all of the room we went into a few of the other rooms and all the rooms in the Eden were very nice yes so while we were there what you're going to hear next in segment two do you want to talk about how this we usually do a podcast when we're at Desire a recording yeah and usually we sit down on the morning that we're going to podcast and get breakfast and we decide a topic that we're going to do at the last minute well this started out um our first day well second day i guess we had a little um some sort of little gathering we were casually dressed um anyway we walked in and you and I were kind of greeting everybody.

We were in the disco and I just had shorts and a tank top on. And years ago, very, very sweet friend of mine, lifestyle friend of mine gave me a shirt and on the shirt, it says lifeless vanilla. And I love that shirt so much. And I happened to have it on that day. And, and we were kind of talking about like how, you know, you want to go to these, these events or vacations with, you know, hopes and, and expectations, but you don't want those expectations to be like set in concrete, right? Because you just don't know how the week's going to go. You don't know how you're going to react.

You don't know who you're going to meet, whatever. So I said, my hope for you this week is that you can live life a little less vanilla than you normally do. And I said, and that's different for each one of us. You know, if you're brand new, maybe it's just like talking to someone or kissing someone. If you're, if you've been doing this for a while, it's just to maybe meet new people or try something new. Um, so that was really like my challenge for the week was for them to figure out how they were going to live life less vanilla.

so then at the end of the week when we all got together to record the episode we just had them reflect on that yes and so what you're going to hear for the next uh 30 or 40 minutes is um it was the very last day it was the last full day of our trip there and people had been given that homework assignment a few days earlier so they were they came prepared it's some really good um stories so we're gonna shut up and and let you listen to them and then we'll be back i'll do another quick introduction because you've had time to think about this now so we're talking today about what you've heard the term vanilla in the past and some some of the experience that we've had is a lot of people who are not in the lifestyle don't like the term vanilla because it makes them feel like their vanilla life is not as exciting as the non-vanilla life.

So as we make our lives less or more non-vanilla or more? There you go. Yeah, more non-vanilla. We all are at a different place, different levels of experience, different place in life, different place in your relationship. So what we would love to have you do for us today is talk about it's Friday. So many of us are already on our way home. Some of us are going home tomorrow. So the week is coming to an end.

We've had a great week here, met a lot of great people, and we'd love for you to come up and share how you may have experienced something anything that you would consider to be less vanilla than when you arrived at the resort I mean there's nothing wrong with vanilla like I like vanilla ice cream with caramel on it I like it with strawberries on it it's just something that's a little different that dresses it up right I can definitely say that one of the things that I'll see you next time. ice cream with caramel on it. I like it with strawberries on it.

It's just something that's a little different that dresses it up, right? I can definitely say that one of the things that I was expecting to come in and people to approach us. And so that wasn't happening as much as I thought. And I think it's because everyone is nervous. You know, nobody wants to get rejected. Nobody wants to get turned down. And so this week I made my life less vanilla option being that I was going to approach another couple and say, hey, in case you guys are interested, we're interested. We're a hell yes. And we ended up approaching two couples. One was a yes.

One was a situational no, which was completely okay. But getting out of my comfort zone and just saying that was so much more freeing than I thought it was going to be. And so that was my life less vanilla. And it was a fantastic experience. So now that I've got you up here, I have to ask a follow-up question.

There's obviously a benefit from when somebody accepts that invitation but there's also I think what you're talking about is just the fact that you asked yes yeah so regardless of what the response was was uh when when you asked was how was it compared to how you thought it was going to be like you said it could we're afraid to do that. Anxiety. So how did you feel after you approached people? It was a little liberating. It was more liberating than I thought it was going to be because I was like, oh my God.

At first I was nervous and I was like, okay, I will just go up and say, this is my non-vanilla task for the week is that I'm coming to you. And everyone who I said that to had the same reaction of, that is so sexy that you felt like you could just get out there and say it. And everyone was so receptive. And that makes you feel good that they're responding so positively to you even asking. Because that makes them feel good too.

Whether it's a yes or a no, that makes them feel good, that makes them feel good too whether it's a yes or no that makes them feel good that makes them feel wanted okay so this is our second time at this resort totally different experience this year with all the changes um but we're having a great time and my snapshot actually comes from last night's theme night. It was uniform night. My husband didn't bring a costume. He wasn't feeling the theme. And at the last minute, so I had worn a pair of bunny ears on the first night with my outfit. And he had brought a satin robe.

And so I was like, why don't you just wear the robe and the bunny ears and just, you know, whatever, have fun with it, and so he went for it, and it was a hoot. It was so fun, but the snapshot is actually when we went out to the hot tub in the evening.

He took off the robe, but he left on the bunny ears, and so we get in the hot tub, and he goes up to the bar to order order me a drink and I'm just kind of standing back and taking it in because the water kind of came up just below his ass so his his ass is just above the water he's completely naked but with bunny ears just standing at the bar waiting for a drink like it's the most normal thing and then here comes another guy with our group, also completely naked, still wearing his cowboy hat and just comes and stands next to my husband.

And so there's two guys standing at the bar, one with bunny ears, one with a cowboy hat, like completely naked, completely comfortable, just being in that moment. And it was, I was standing back, just cracking up I was I really wished I had a camera at that moment I was like I need a picture but I tried to take a mental picture so I can remember it I wish I was an artist and I could like paint it but I'm not so in the terms of that being less vanilla uh I'm imagining you haven't seen anything like that before. No. Just the comfort level of, you know, it's just, it's no big deal.

Everybody, you know, some people might come in feeling nervous about getting naked in front of others or being in a hot tub naked. And you get here and you realize nobody cares. It's not a big deal. And it's really easy to just kind of relax into that and just, you know, whatever, whatever. So there we go. Well, you know, that, that's a good point because a lot of times we, we're so worried about being naked in front of people. We forget that some of us really don't like to dress up in costumes. And that's a real stretch for people. So, you know, that's another way to live less vanilla.

I think sometimes you think about all the extremes, but it's those little steps along the way that that can be challenging and pushing you out of your comfort zone as well. And I would like to say that it gets easier, but I'm not a big uniform person either. So I still have to get out of my comfort zone a little bit with stuff like that. But it does help when there's other people that feel the same way and you know it was difficult for them to do that.

Makes it easier for the rest of too so my life less vanilla I've really enjoyed this is our first time here and I've really enjoyed the theme nights and the dances the sexy sexy performances ahead of time my favorite night was the BDSM like 50 shades of Grey night. And I was dancing with a guy on the floor and he had a collar on with a little ring. And I'm like, where's your leash? And he said, I'm just waiting for someone to bring one. So I said, hold on a minute.

I left the dance floor, went back to my table, grabbed my very nice fancy gold leash with leather handle and brought it back and hooked it on to him and danced with him.

And then I went around the room the rest of the night and found anyone that had anything I could latch on to and very proudly pulled them onto the floor and danced with them and like I was able to bring out something that I hadn't done before and it was really fun and it was fun to work the room because everybody travels with an extra leash everybody it would be silly But that was like your uh your prop that breaks the ice yes because as was mentioned earlier it's hard it's difficult to approach people but when everybody's in that frame of mind and you can go snap your uh leash on their collar and of course it doesn't hurt when a beautiful woman comes up and does it too but yeah that's that's great I love that we did witness a lot of that too and I think there was a lot of growth for those on the other end of the leash yeah as well I think some people were not sure but nobody seemed too scared of it and they they followed me anyway um so i think my life less vanilla was a photo shoot probably a week or two before we were coming was talking about it and i was like i don't really want to do it it's like just he wanted to do it so i brought some stuff just in case i was like i don't think we're gonna do it and then we did our premiere presentation and we walked over because we had the little thing and asked if they had openings.

They're like, well, we have an opening at one. And it was like 11 o'clock in the morning. And so that I think was great because I didn't have time to get nervous about it. And we started in our room and was feeling sexy.

And then we were walking down to go to the disco and saw a friend who looked at me and literally said hot damn and it just made me feel so good and then at the very end we were taking pictures out by the hot tub and looking down and seeing all our friends in the pool that were like like waving and and um and just like like so excited for us And then then we came down, everyone said, Oh, you look so pretty. It was just awesome. And showing everyone the pictures, everyone was so supportive and just so lovely. So, and were you wearing this similar? Yeah. Yeah.

Because from our vantage point, all of a sudden, for some reason, it just got really quiet in the pool.

And you know how difficult it is when you see people looking up you know not to look up with them and then everybody started seeing oh I see what's going on up there but before you saw the pictures though before even you saw the pictures after the photo shoot how did you feel then uh was it or was it after the you saw the pictures that you felt better no i think it was when we were walking through and just everyone like and you see it now even when you see other people going everyone just says oh my gosh you look so gorgeous you look so beautiful and and then going into the pool with those ridiculously long lashes and like um the makeup it was just you felt sexy and beautiful because I had I had always said I want to wait and do the photo shoot when I'm at this weight or at this and and just finally decided to go for it so it was good yeah a lot of brave ladies today.

So, Mrs. Jones, if I had been in your high school class, you would have learned that I don't always follow instructions for homework. So, my life less vanilla moment actually happened before the trip. Um, and the reason I thought of it is because like I was thinking about what less vanilla means and to me it's more authentic. And, um, this is our second trip to desire. And the first time we came, um, We told our family that we were at a neighboring resort next door. And when we were making plans for this trip, they asked where we're going. Mrs. Peachy Keen and I talked.

And we decided we were going to tell them where we're going. And that was liberating. And that kind of made the whole week feel like we were living a more authentic life. People knew where we were. If they have questions about why we're here, we don't have to tell them everything. But it just felt like we were being more honest and more true to ourselves, and that's less vanilla to us. You know, it's so easy. When I thought about life less vanilla, in the vanilla world, you tend to make up your mind about somebody, and that seldom changes. And I think the best part about being open is the sex.

But up there with that are all these other benefits of actually just being open. And so there was somebody who I thought I knew pretty well. I'd never met in person and kind of had my mind made up about him and stuff. And then you actually, you actually meet him in person and you're like, oh, I was so wrong. And I feel so judgmental. And, you know, this whole process of, uh, kind of moving from vanilla towards being open is this process of, uh, becoming less judgmental.

And yet you still find yourself like in these old habits and, uh, and it's great to just like kind of get kicked in the teeth and go like, no, that's, that's not who I want to be in life and, uh, and live it less vanilla and be open towards everybody. So the lifeless vanilla for me was kind of a interesting, long coming about type thing. A little background on myself. I am a professional in my community. I have been a hairdresser for 35 years and majority of my clientele would be men and I'm going to say 80 percent.

So when you're a person of that profession, touching can be a very intimate Thank you. So when you're a person of that profession, touching can be a very intimate thing. And you have to find where your boundaries can be as a professional woman in the business. So my thing was learning how to get my flirt back. You know, over the time, you keep pushing that back, pushing that back, because you don't want to perceive yourself as, I'm coming on to you. So, and then you start realizing, touch can mean so many things.

You touch you can touch you can a brush and so that has been a big thing for me learning how to get my flirt back after pushing it down for 35 years and it's kind of been fun well I'm from what I've seen I think you're pretty good at it it's like riding a bike you know it's kind of been fun. Well, and from what I've seen, I think you're pretty good at it. It's like riding a bike, you know, it's coming back.

I think mine is, you go to any swimming pool in any Nilla place, Nellie, anywhere you go, and the couples are the guys over here with the guys, girls over here with the women, well, women over here with the women, and the couples never intermix. Here, you see couples and couples. They might not be the couples that came here, but you see love, you see trust, you see confidence, you see, and this community is so good at instilling confidence and trust and making everybody feel so great. It's so easy to become who you want to be or who you're supposed to be.

So you're not letting society and make you say, I can't do this, but't do this but you go i can i can you guys all support it which makes it so much easier so that's definitely made a change in my life uh so my lifeless vanilla while at the resort and actually um another couple pointed this out to me while I was here for anybody that's been to the vanilla resorts, it's the hellos, the good mornings. It's the nice to see yous. How many times have we been in those spaces at the other resorts and you intentionally look forward, you intentionally look away, nobody acknowledges.

And the other day I was walking back to my room, had to go grab something and walk back. And i walked by hey guys how's it going and they genuinely look at your eyes they smile they say hello and i will never see them again they will never see me again they don't have to do any of that but there's a genuineness and just being happy to be around each other and And so I think that that's something you get here, a little bit less than Beno. Mrs. Jones and I go on a lot of cruises, and only one lifestyle cruise.

We just like meeting people, and that's one of the things that how, you know, you talk about black rings and pineapples and all these other things to find other people.

Just find somebody who's going to look you in the eye and say good morning to you you know it's really not that hard to find people they talk to each other they look like they enjoy each other's company they're smiling you know they're not just reading the newspaper have their heads down and ignoring the rest of the world so it's really easy to start to pick out people that you want to get to know regardless of lifestyle or not and we have been able to meet so many people because to your point well do you want to tell the story about when you tried this at a vanilla resort and oh yeah we were in the Dominican Republic and we were with lifestyle friends so we were having a good time but then it was a big resort and it was a long walk to breakfast and I just remember one morning this one guy in particular we were walking I just I just said good morning and he actually looked startled like like I said do you want to fuck like I mean good grief like buddy I guess you haven't had your coffee yet because I just scared the daylights out of you just by saying good morning so then I decided to be mean and I said it to everybody so like I was like that lady oh like look away from her she's going to speak to you I think for us our less vanilla was turning fear into courage and we were in the amazing seminar with Sir Lance and Pixie yesterday that was so incredible and so informative and so sexy.

And they talked about the three no's, you know, no, not here, no, not now, and no, not with you.

And I think for so long in this space, we have been so afraid of hearing the no, not with you that it has held us back and made us kind of stand back and say well if people approach us if people come up to us we aren't risking that big fear of hearing no not you and what we finally realized is that so many people are in that same boat and they feel that same way and so we sort of said well what if we gave people the gift of taking that no off the table you and maybe it's not here and not now but it's a it's a definite yes to the you and so we just took that approach we went up to people and we were bold and we were courageous and it was well received.

And we felt like whether it was well received or not, we were brave. We were a little less vanilla and we had given them a compliment or we had given them some confidence and maybe they took that yes to you and they went and blessed somebody else with that yes to you. And that was still us helping helping them and so I think in a world where it feels like everyone could use a little more courage to come to Desire and find a place where courage is so great was really a huge, huge little less vanilla.

So you talk about confidence and changes and growth and i think looking back to where 10 10 year ago me would have never come to a place like this and walked around naked 10 year ago me would never have um done karaoke in my life and and to think this is our second time here came two years ago we've been to another resort and and last year um but thinking back to the past two years and and friends that i've done karaoke with and um and just you know the growth karaoke code no it's actually care it's actually karaoke um but doing stuff like that, again, being naked here, having conversations, just at the pool, walking around.

I think a goal this week was just ask for the dance. Ask for the kiss. There's some good dancers in this crowd. And, again, I didn't used to dance. I mean, we did the minimum necessary, like for our wedding and, and we took lessons and just, just enough to get by. But, um, you know, I think my wife is like watching some of the changes in me. It was, it's been fun watching the changes in her and getting down on the floor with her. And, um, it's just been a blast.

We made some great friends here that she I think she said she danced on the on the bar for the first time in her life and just watching her get up and have a conversation with them at the hot tub afterwards and how excited she was and everything. It's been great fun. She has a big smile on her face, so I think she agrees.

And you forgot the part about watching your beautiful wife um laid across the edge of the pool by the playmakers um during a game and and having some hot guy exactly and over top of her yeah and me having a conversation with with friends because i maybe that's your everyday thing i don't know no it's not everyday thing um i also had the i also had the fear because i had gone to get a drink and and watched this transpire from across the pool and i was talking to a friend i was like she is going to kill me for not being with her to save her from this from this game but she did not look too miserable no um so i think my less vanilla thing has been kind of a collection of them and it's um this is our second time in the resort and this time I'm very much like I don't I don't have to stay on the sidelines I can I can join the ping pong tournament I can play you know volleyball in the pool I can say yes when a stripper pulls me up on the floor in front of everybody else.

And, um, it does feel very freeing and liberating. And it's nice to know that, I mean, there are very few places that I could do this. And I know now that when we go home, I'm not going to be thinking like, dang, I missed that opportunity or I really wanted to do that but I didn't feel comfortable so I'm glad that I'm not staying on the sidelines this time. Hi Mr. and Mrs. Jones it's a pleasure to see you both again.

I just want to say thank you so much for this opportunity because my husband and I who are here are not official members of WGT, but we've listened to you and this is the second time we have run into you at a resort. And WGT and all of its members have been so open and welcoming and have adopted us into the group. So thank you so much. And my Life Less Vanilla goal this week was to advocate for myself. I'm an advocate in real life. I'm a criminal defense attorney and I'm constantly advocating for other people.

And I find that I put myself towards the bottom, if not the bottom of the list when it comes to people to advocate for. And I really decided to think about what I want and what I need on this trip. And I have terrible FOMO. And so I always worry about going to bed early or skipping this event or not talking to that couple because of an opportunity that may be missed. And I realized this trip, we rested a lot more than we have before. And it was really rejuvenating and lovely.

And last night, we skipped the performance and took a four-hour nap and ended up having a beautiful orgy under the stars in the middle of the night. And it was incredible. So thank you so much for the courage to do that for myself. I appreciate it. Well, you know, the shows here are pretty great. But if I had to make a choice between the show and an under the stars orgy, I think you made the right choice. I want to just clear the air. And apparently we come here and we put schedules out so that when things are planned, everybody can take place.

And when I hear that orgies happened and we didn't know about it, it's a little hurtful. Okay, so the thing I've learned about me is 10 years ago, I absolutely would have signed up for this in a heartbeat. Just didn't know about it. You had an episode a while back, and we had dinner one night. And I think I told you guys that you had an episode, Find Your Tribe. And we've struggled to find people that are our tribe. There's no other way to describe it. And I felt like we found our tribe here, right? We found everybody. Everybody we talked to was just like us, nervous, unsure.

And as the week went along, you see people's confidence grow. And I just want to say thank you because I was struggling to find the tribe. And I never would have learned about this place. This is our second time here, third time at a Desire resort, but the second time here.

And we discovered it because of you guys and because of your podcast i want to say thank you all right so my second less than vanilla experience was earlier in the week uh we're out at the pool and when uh a handful they're all games, playmakers are out there, and some of the playmakers pull my wife up on the side of the pool, and they're encouraging her to do a strip tease in front of the entire pool. And you look around at people looking at me and looking at her and wondering, is she going to do it? And I get to lean back with a giant smile on my face, knowing my wife is in her wheelhouse.

And this is absolutely about to go down. And if you happen to miss the show, I do apologize for that. But it was fabulous. Well, Mr. Jones missed the show. Again, again.

but i did not miss the show and and i have to say like two things about this first of all the wife we are speaking of is absolutely beautiful inside and out and just the life of the party but my favorite part of the show was watching you my friend watching this amazing husband just look at his wife just so you were proud but you were in awe and you know just just the look of just utter devotion and fascination on your face was very beautiful very um i was going to just say the one about my wife it's gonna kind of pertain to everybody I think the aha moment when I was watching her dance the other night with two guys very centrally I'm sitting in a chair back and to me perfectly normal I'm like this is my normal life this isn't out of control this is like this is fun I had a smile on my face had a big smile on her face.

They had smiles on their faces and I'm watching it. But then it's even better if you sit and watch other people. I've saw other couples where maybe the wife was brought up or the husband brought up and to watch the other spouse, watch their wife or their husband become something so amazing. You see the pride in their eyes. You see the love in their eyes.

And it's like, it's so's like it's so you know well it is it's a thing we got a thing yeah that reminds me we actually have a couple here that we traveled to uh las vegas with and we were at an event that was open to the public, and his wife was enjoying the company of some of the guys that were in the show. He was sitting back beaming, but unbeknownst to him, behind him were a row of girls saying, is that your wife up there? You're letting her go up there and talk to these men? What a great husband that you are.

so here, it's normal, and you do feel comfortable, and probably more so than you would in public at a bar, would you leave your wife there alone while you go somewhere? And if you did, how would you feel about that? Well, here, I know there's at least 30 or 40 guys in this room that are watching out while I'm not while I'm not around. And it is such a great feeling and an unexpected part of all of this as well. You just mentioned looking out for your friends and knowing that your spouse is being cared for. I just want to say thank you to friends that we have.

I was having a good time dancing with some people and lost track of my wife and just dancing away and eventually i'm like where'd she go and i found another friend and she said oh she's probably up in the front lobby i'm getting tended to i'm like oh god and go up there and and there was a small incident where she got a little bit injured but uh we had some good friends taking care of her and it was just great knowing that we had those friends that really cared for her and have been looking out for her all week and everyone was just checking on her and everything and i just really appreciated that and knowing that support was there has been incredible so okay so holding this microphone is my less, for life, more vanilla, less vanilla moment.

I'll try to get out in one so I don't have to come back up here again. But this is our fourth trip to Desire, first time with WGT. And, you know, I look back and we see a natural progression throughout the lifestyle that we've had. Listening to Mrs. Jones talk about life, less vanilla, the first thing that comes into my head is, okay, what's the next thing? You've done this, actually. You've done this, taking, you know, what's the next thing you can do? And the other day during the session that we had in here, it was brought up, okay, so what are you going to do this week?

And I said jokingly, okay, I'm going to kiss 50 girls today. And, you know, that was my, my next progression within the lifestyle. And, um, you know, I, I, I work on that throughout the day and several people came up to me saying, Hey, did you hit your goal? Did you, you know, did you make 50 girls? And I was like, no. And, and I realized that that wasn't my goal. Um, my, my goal was to put myself out there and to talk with people, which is not something I normally do. I'm usually the one who waits for them to talk to me. And if they don't talk to me, I usually don't end up talking.

Or I rely on my beautiful wife to do the talking, which she does quite well but it's it was a kind of kind of an eye opening moment for me that life less vanilla in the lifestyle or in the swinger world is not about what you're going to do physically. It's not about the next article of clothing you're going to take off. It's about making the connection with people a genuine connection that will last the rest of your life. Okay, here's a little unknown truth about his story. He got to 50 like within an hour, but he kept telling people people I haven't hit 50 yet.

So this was our seventh trip to a desire-type resort, and it was probably the most subdued I've been on any of the trips.

And I just wanted a mellow trip, you know, relieve stress and just sort of do my own thing and we start talking about less or um less vanilla the highlight of this week was our sexy photo shoot that we did um it wasn't you know no swapping or anything like that it was just her and i connecting and it was our late thinking back from where we were 15 years ago when i would say hey can you text me a picture of you in your bikini and she would say no i can't do that and then looking how she's blossomed and become the woman that i know and love right now in the lifestyle and that's just been an amazing journey um and it's less than vanilla i, you don't need to be in a lifestyle to have a sexy photo shoot.

But if you're listening to this and you want to spice up your marriage and really connect with your partner, that is something that I would highly recommend doing. I feel like I need to follow up on that because I've now heard two other people talk about their photo shoots. And when we came here this week, I had no intention of doing a photo shoot. And somebody said, you've got to, you, you need to do this. And I'm like, look, I'm a plus size girl. This is, I know what I look like in photos. No. And they said, no, please just try.

And so I told my husband and to his credit, he was like, all right, I'll do it for you. Yeah. We got in there. And when I was younger, I always wanted to do one of those model photo shoots, you know, where you see these stunning photos, women. I never thought I would have something like that. And from the moment I met the photographer, she was making me feel incredible.

And I walked away feeling more beautiful than I had ever felt before and that was before I saw the photos the photos turned out incredible and it that taking a chance and doing that photo shoot made me see myself completely differently and now I think half the people in this room Thank you very much. And that taking a chance and doing that photo shoot made me see myself completely differently. And now I think half the people in this room, I've been like, have you seen this photo? Oh my goodness, I'm so excited about this photo.

And so if anyone out there is considering whether to do the photo shoots of desire, give yourself the chance. Let you see yourself differently in a better light. Let you see yourself how the rest of the world actually sees you. You know, I truly think my photo shoot was one of the most empowering things I've ever done for myself. It's a gift to yourself, obviously to your partner as well. Just a little insight on how that sales pitch works though they come in and they say Mr.

Jones do you want to buy 150 photos or do you want to tell us which ones of your wife you don't like no like we've done it twice and and every time and you like all right we're gonna buy 20 photos and then you see them and you're like yeah we'll just take them all it doesn't even matter you know it because that's just one of those experiences that you can't replicate later like when you're in the moment it's just such a great a great experience for like both of us right i, there's some pretty sexy photos of you too, babe. Well, you're kind of surprised about that. Hi.

So my life less vanilla began when my husband walked into a store at the mall before we even got here, wanting to buy me a wig for neon night. I was like, I don't need that. I'm fine. No, I don't need to do a wig. I feel silly, not necessary. We'll just rock the sexy neon lingerie. But we walked out of the wig store with a wig and I packed the wig, stashed it deep in the closet when we got here, right? So neon night comes, and I had been talking to a few of the other ladies and heard there were going to be a few other wigs. I was like, okay, I think I can do this.

Don't watch me while I put it on. Just let me figure this out. So I put it on, and I come around the corner, and my husband goes, Ha, and my husband goes, And, okay, yeah, he's supposed to do that. So, okay, fine. Sure, I'll somewhat believe him. But the inner voice is like, you're brunette. You're not meant to have hot pink hair. You just don't look right. I walked down to the lobby and the band is playing music and all the community members are down there mingling. And it was amazing to see people's reaction.

One of my favorite moments, the gentleman's no longer here, they already left to go back home, was when his wife saw me and was like, oh my word, that's you. I got to go get my husband. She runs to get him. I had met him earlier in the day. I think we even kissed. And she pulls him up and says, hey, this is so-and-so. And he politely shakes my hand. There's no recognition at all. And then I make eye contact and the dawning on his face realizing, oh, that's her. Like, you look so different. And so that inner voice that I had that was negative, right? Like, you look better as a brunette.

Why are you wearing pink hair?'s reaction just allowed me to be like okay I can do this I can be way outside my comfort zone and and stifle that voice that said you really look better as a brunette you should not be doing this so I appreciate so much and later on a few ladies came up and was like, oh that, I will forever have a mental picture of you in that outfit, in the wig, so thank you friends for helping me definitely be way less vanilla that night, and thank you all for joining us not just today, but this week.

This really, I shared with a couple of people, sometimes it feels like an obligation when we're planning these weeks, and part of it is, you know, we feel like we have to do this, but when we get here and we get closer to it and we get to meet the people, we remember I don't know. is, you know, we feel like we have to do this, but when we get here and we get closer to it, and we get to meet the people, we remember, oh, this is why we do this. You know, we get to reconnect. We get time away. We get to spend a lot of time meeting you, but we also get to hear stories that were shared today.

And really, I think that's one of the reasons we got into this business to begin with. So it's always special when we hear you share that. So thank you for doing that. Well, from a couple of different people, I heard you come up and say, you know, like you were looking forward just to like a chill week to reconnect and just to kind of focus on yourself and on your partner. And, um, and we've been so busy that we, this was just one more thing on the calendar. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I think we can get through this. And this week has been so needed.

We didn't know how much we needed this week until we got here and just thank you all for loving us warts and all things have just been crazy for us lately and it's just thank you for reminding us why we do what we do and and what a blessing this part of our lives is to us on so many levels enjoy your day welcome back i hope you guys enjoyed hearing stories of some of our sexy friends that um we out with for a whole week. Yes, it was, you know, the word vanilla sometimes causes a little controversy.

We've been accused of, especially from some of our non-lifestyle friends, that vanilla doesn't sound as exciting as as non-vanilla so i like the term less vanilla because you're still you still vanilla but you're less vanilla right well i mean we made homemade ice cream last weekend and what flavor did we make the only flavor there is really right vanilla right so yeah thank you all for you know for being vulnerable and for sharing uh blows us away when, when we can never imagine or predict what people are going to get up and say or what's going to happen.

And it's, you know, we've done so many of these, I think, well, it's going to get old because people are going to say the same thing, but no, people didn't say the same thing. Well, it's because you have a different experience every time you go to desire. You know, you and your partner are in a different place. Sometimes it's good and sometimes, you know, you're just, you come a little exhausted and you're just trying to like reconnect. Kind of like you and I. Yeah. You know, our, we lived life a lot less vanilla than we did the prior two months. Yes.

was just dreading going to Mexico because it was just one more trip we had to make. And I was so tired and I was so behind with my bookkeeping business. And I just feel like I couldn't catch up and I felt like I wasn't doing any one thing well. You know, I was just that stressed out. But when we got there and we were going to, like, we weren't going to Pearl. So it wasn't even going to be familiar. So that was going to be stressful, you know. And then we got there and it was just like, oh yeah, how could we forget how amazing this is?

And you and I just totally like relaxed into the week and relaxed into each other and it was like it it was less vanilla i mean as we've told y'all a couple episodes ago mr jones and i are on pause we're not playing with people right now and and it was still fantastic and i really a couple times i kind of missed that but just hanging out with you was so fun in that environment you know yeah and and you know less vanilla is a choice you know it it doesn't just happen you can research it and talk about it but really it it takes putting one foot in front of the other you have to make some sort of an effort to become less vanilla and it applies to everyone that's what i like about it is it's a sliding scale so wherever you are in the spectrum of the lifestyle you can take one step further away from vanilla no matter matter what that step is, it's important to you.

And it's not all about the sex, like you were just saying. And I think as people were sharing, there weren't that many that were sexual related. It was more just everything else about people growing and trying new things. Yeah. I'm pretty sure there was a lot of sex going on. Oh, yeah, there was. So we have snapshots. Yes. Well, is it the same snapshot? No. Okay, well, then you go first.

Um, so my snapshot was when we took the massage table out onto the covered part of our lanai yeah one friday night recently and it's super super private out there because like our house is almost kind of what horseshoe shaped, not really, but that's really exaggerated. But the covered part of our lanai is protected on both sides by our family room on one side and our bedroom on the other. So if you're standing directly behind our house, which would be trespassing, you could see in, but that's their problem if they're trespassing, right? Somebody walking their little dog late at night.

right um so we took the massage table out there and it was just a really really pretty night and you brought music out and we just i i didn't even get you on the massage table we never even made it that far did we no because i ended up giving you a massage and as a matter of fact i didn't even let you start on your stomach i had you start on your back right i was a little bit eager uh yeah so we played for a long time and um yeah i went down on you for a while and the massage table makes it easy and we didn't break anything this time i know i was worried because you kind of got up on the massage table at one point yeah when you were going down on me i was like uh-oh well at least we'll die happy yeah that's yeah we had the lights on out there we had the music going and it was a really nice evening so this is what we this is why we moved this is what we signed up for we signed up yeah so my snapshot is even better I don't know.

it was a really nice evening so this is what we this is why we moved this is what we signed up for we signed up yeah so my snapshot is even better uh i feel like there should be a drum roll here okay so last weekend we were gonna do some adult swim it was was it friday night yes yes it was friday night got into the pool and we have a spa and the spa sits above the pool and drains into the pool on one side so we were standing on the ledge the between the spa and the pool started getting a little hot and heavy and then i realized i was hard and then more importantly you realized i was hard no it was a sneak attack no it wasn't a sneak attack because you turned around you you we were kissing face to face you reached down and grabbed me you realized the state i was in and you immediately turned around and you put your hands on the bent over the side of the spa it wasn't a sneak attack it was a quick let's strike why the iron is hot at what it was because erections have been coming and going, and mostly they're going when they need it to be coming.

This time it was hard while we were making out, and we actually had penetrative sex. And then once we did doggy style, that we have a lounge chair right up outside the pool right there so you got out and got on the lounge chair and got on your back and then we did some missionary there too yeah but then speaking of the next morning you know the next morning I went out there to clean up and your lounge chair a little bit messy. I know. That's the first time we've made a mess in a long, long time. I know, but then it poured down rain, and it cleaned the cushion off perfectly.

We didn't even have to turn it over. No, it was fun. Yeah, so I think a lot of it, I mean, it's been over two years since my surgery, and I'm tired of being patient. But fortunately, you know, now I have a little bit more confidence that it's going to continue to get better and that we're back on the road to recovery. Yep. Let's wrap up 118.

As we mentioned at the outset, if you want to learn more about community you can go to our website wegotathing.com and check that out or you can send me an email at mrjones at wegotathing.com you can send me an email at mrsjones at wegotathing.com you can follow us on x and we are just now establishing a presence on instagram again yes my next project after this marketplace is to get back on social media so we're going to start with uh twitter i mean x and instagram yep so you can find us on instagram as well uh don't forget if you want a free trial on either cassidy or sdc you can get that if you open an account through our website there as well and you can book your desire trips through we got a thing.com anything else i think that's it all right well thanks for listening we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing.

What's your thing? We'll see you next time.