Episode 115: Are You Too Nice?

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello everyone, I'm Mr. Jones.

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 115 of we got a thing podcast are you too nice yeah i think i think we know the answer to that question already for me me? Yes. You're nice to everybody but me. Well, that's because you love me most. When you're too nice, it leads to you not being nice to me. Why'd you let me be so nice? Yeah, right. See, that's the whole problem. You can tell. I'm not alone. I know I'm not. No, you're not. That's why we're doing this. Yeah, that's right.

So we've got a little bit of an update first, though, before we get to that. Those of you who want to go to Desire with us, there is still room for our Desire Riviera Maya week, June 22nd to 29th. Yep. So if you would like to meet us there you know we haven't been to desire rm in probably about seven or eight years yeah but there's a lot new going on there and um since grand miche's closed down we didn't really have much of a choice right but now the the eden Eden section of RM is getting ready to open if it's not open already. I think it's open already. Yeah.

So that'll be fun to go explore that. Yeah. And then our November trip is full and there's a wait list, but it seems like people are getting in. Yeah. You need to get on the wait list if you want to go in November because there seem to be some cancellations popping up already. So yeah, we'd love for you to do one of those two trips with us this year. And then also wanted to let you know just a quick update that our WGT, our We Got a Thing app is almost ready. How cool is that?

We're going gonna have an app i know we're making i mean we're making a lot of changes in our community infrastructure and we're excited about it but i don't want to talk about it too much tonight i'll save it for next month so keeping up with the joneses we have been sort of kind of busy but it's been a good busy now after the move is finished and all of that craziness is done, we've been actually able to travel. Yeah. I mean, we've been traveling and we've had friends visit and, you know, this community, you're never bored around here, that's for sure.

Oh, you mean the community where we live? The community we live in, yes. Well, and then our community as well, but, yeah, our neighborhood. neighborhood well let's just put it this way it's a very social community yeah it is and we can't just slip out for a few minutes we end up going out for an hour or so and then plan to come home and then next thing we know it three or four hours later yep yep we you think we would learn, but no, but I mean, it, that's a great problem to have. Like we, I mean, we've been here six months now or so we're getting to know people.

Um, so we, we have some friends that we've known for a while and then we have our neighbors that live on our street and then you just meet people at the pool or when you're out and about and it's fantastic. Yes, it is.

Um, so much so that I'm going to, I gonna i'm gonna i'm really making an attempt not to drink monday through thursday okay failing miserably honey monday night we have a party to go to yeah and tuesday what are we doing we're going to a wine pairing dinner yeah so that leaves wednesday and thursday okay well let me when i when i'm sitting around the house during the week you know what though i actually grilled something on the grill the other night and i did not open a beer i know and i did i know that was weird i know see i'm i'm trying a little bit anyway so we just got back from uh last month we went on a trip to Costa Rica.

We did. It was absolutely amazing. And we have never been to Costa Rica before. No. And like we've talked to several people who have been. And without a doubt, everyone says it's one of the best trips they've ever taken. That the country is fantastic.

are fantastic weather you know everything about it and they were absolutely correct yeah it was it was in february so the the temperature was about 88 degrees every day it was sunny every day and it was their dry season so yeah so it was truly sunny no humidity we stayed in tamarindo which is on the west coast so it's a kind of a surfer town a lot of youngsters there yeah supposedly on their gap years i think year might be the wrong measurement of time like maybe their gap decade but it was we stayed in a beautiful home um with a few other couples a few other lifestyle friends and up on the hill overlooking the pacific ocean and golf cart ride down to the town and plenty of restaurants plenty of bars plenty of things to do let's back up to the golf cart ride yeah this road that our our house was like 300 and something feet above sea level but i mean and the reason we know that is because we turned our watches on when we walked right it was terrible um and it was super steep i mean it went just right off the coast it just went straight up and it was a dirt road with a little bit of rocky gravel on it yeah and a lot of ruts from like rain and such yes so it was it was like a amusement park ride every time we went up and down that hill on the golf cart yeah and there was a lot of construction there so there was these huge I'll see you next time.

was like a amusement park ride every time we went up and down that hill on the golf cart yeah and there was a lot of construction there so there was these huge mixer trucks and dump trucks and potable water trucks coming up and down the hill all day i don't know how they take those turns and make those curves i know but mr jones yeah loves to be safe yes so what did you do the whole way up and down the road in the golf cart i beeped the horn you know a lot of y'all are old enough to know the bugs bunny roadrunner hour right and the roadrunner how he would beep you know beep beep yeah that was that that's exactly how you beep your golf cart horn.

Yeah. Well, I mean, when I was a kid, you sit either on the tractor or in your dad's lap in the car. And what did you do? You want to beep. Well, what did I do? I want to beep the horn. So I beep. It's just a toot. It's a greeting. You know, it's a safety. I'm coming around the corner. It's annoying. I know. Because you do it constantly.

i know because you do it constantly and why do you think i know that's one of the reasons i keep doing it because i know it annoys you i can't help myself i can't help myself i just oh my gosh it drives me crazy anyway it was it was always an adventure either going up or down yeah especially when we had six people in a golf cart and a lot of weight in the back going up that hill and it would start coming up off of back wheels. And all of a sudden you couldn't steer anymore. We did two wheel a couple of times. We did some zip lining. We saw some monkeys. Well, some of us did zip lining.

Some of us were too chicken. And I think I made the right choice i stayed at the house by the pool with some of my friends all day it was terrible we didn't see any sloth but we did see monkeys yes we did see and we we went although we tricked you we we walked across the suspension bridge over this big chasm where the waterfall was and you were stuck in the middle and you you had to go there was no there was no other way for you to go you had to go forward i know there were people We'll be right back.

big chasm where the waterfall was and you were stuck in the middle and you you had to go there was no there was no other way for you to go you had to go forward I know there were people behind me there were people in front of me turning around laughing at me we were taking pictures and I was like this isn't funny this is not funny I don't like this like I said that the whole way across but I wasn't the only one there were there were two other ladies that weren't thrilled about it either yeah but when you said this isn't funny that just made it funnier there might be pictures of me and possibly even a video this is how much my friends love me and but it was a it's a beautiful country yes um boy what a and and then i have to say the house wait wait and then after we did the hike and saw the waterfalls and i almost died on the suspension bridge what do we do after that we did mud oh we did yeah mud bath in the volcano like you know there was like a lava mud path mud bath place um yeah people were kind of looking at us because there were how many of us there were 12 there were 12 of us and we were lathering each other i mean we all had swimsuits on mud because obviously it was a public place but we were all lathering it didn't matter who you were lathering up you just lathered up people with mud yeah and then um yeah and then we all had to like it took more than two hands to get the mud back off of you there were these showers and um yeah that was fun getting the mud off i swear i smelled like and you know the this is like sulfur you paid extra for that because it was the volcano so it was really really stinky and like my hair smelled like that for like the next week yeah you know just, I guess it just got down in, like, the pores of your hair or whatever.

It was so gross. But it was so fun. It was probably one of the best group trips and vacations. It is the, I think it was the most fun we've had. Oh, yeah. Like, the house had a couple ladies that worked there.

And they made us the most amazing breakfast every morning every morning it was different um they they took care of our rooms they did our laundry it was incredible and then there was a concierge that worked there and he helped us book all of our excursions and told us where to go for dinner and um we had a private chef come in two nights And they had this beautiful beautiful huge table that sat um 12 you probably could have gotten more than 12 at this table outside outside and perfect weather and they've served us lovely dinners outside that was so fun an infinity pool off the back of the house where you could watch the sun go down every night.

Yep. So yeah, it was a great vacation. But I think the best thing was that we were with lifestyle friends who we've known for a long time. Everybody was comfortable with everybody else. And we were the common denominator. Most people people knew most people but we were the only ones that knew right all the other five couples right some of them were just kind of either meeting for the first time or just briefly met at an event before yeah but after 24 hours it was a level playing field everybody had gotten to know everybody pretty well whether they wanted or not.

That first night, the people that didn't know each other managed to get acquainted. And we were having so much fun. We got there on a Saturday. We were having so much fun that it was Monday before somebody said, I think it was me. No, it wasn't you. It wasn't me? No. Somebody else said, are we going to have sex? Does anyone want to have sex this week? Because we were having so much fun just being together and enjoying the house and enjoying the area. So we did drag the mattresses out in the middle of the room that one night. Yeah, we did. So it was sexy. It was fun. It was very special.

Well, I think there was a lot going on behind closed doors i mean of course you know you're talking about like having a big free-for-all and that didn't really happen i mean some of us got together on the mattresses in the living room but for the most part i think people were just kind of discreetly pairing up and yeah but you all you ladies were topless in the pool which was nice yeah yeah kind of freaked the housekeeper out well i think they got used to it i mean we kept our bottoms on just out of respect because there were people working in the house the whole time right before that we did have lifestyle friends flying to town and spend the weekend with us we did and um they thought they were coming down here to warm weather and it was the crappiest weather that weekend yeah it was president's day weekend and it was just the crappiest weather it was cold and rainy well it was in the 50s and rainy and they left sleet and snow true you know i mean they said it could be worse we could be at home but we still went to a couple dive bars and sat outside in the rain we did drinking pbrs we did that was our dive bar weekend and it was so much fun we have found some really fun dive bars here in the area did we did we already talk about the dive bar where the no i don't think we did oh yeah so we did a dive bar two or and um we got to the we got to the front door of this dive bar and they were they had a cover charge which kind of surprised us yeah there were four of us and we could see a band setting up next door or outside and we said well let's go ahead and pay the 15 bucks so that was 15 30 that was 60 bucks we laid out for the four of us to get in got in there got a drink went outside and then noticed everybody was younger than us and everybody was dressed in black pants and black t-shirts and grunge type clothing with green hair and chains the white makeup and the like teardrops going down their cheeks.

A lot of the girls had that. It was very goth, which I didn't think goth was still in, but whatever form of goth this was, was very in at this bar.

So the genre of band that we listened to was horror punk i think is what it was anyway the the band started playing and the guy was swinging his hair around and he was like grunting and screaming into the microphone i i have to admit they were good musicians i don't necessarily like like their music but they were really good there was a good drummer a good bass player good guitarist the lead singer was like what what was the what was the name of the song oh drink drink blood and fuck forever yeah it was just over and over again so we're standing there hence that was like the red teardrops going down their face so that must be like their thing yeah don't try to read it was like it was like a vampire I don't try to read it was like it was like a vampire don't try to read into it no it was like a vampire vibe yeah so anyway we stood there for a minute in the back looking at each other and thought well this is clearly not our vibe but should we leave and then we said well no.

We just paid 15 bucks each to get in here. So we're standing in the middle of the place, jumping up and down like everybody else. Drinking a beer, jumping up and down. And then you two ladies got your picture taken with the lead singer at the end of the set.

And then the next morning, I was on Facebook, and I wanted to find out the name of the band where we were and i sure enough i found their their facebook page and there's a picture of me in the middle of all these young people jumping up and down with this punk music playing that was such a fun day oh my gosh okay when we come back we're gonna talk about the message behind are you too nice quit looking at me yeah i'm looking at you this is your episode we'll be right back Well, welcome back to segment two which i guess is like my segment or my topic tonight are you two nights yeah so this came up because we had a couple of friends uh call us or they texted us and said can we call you we need to talk to somebody we said oh good this will be a fun phone call and they texted us and said, can we call you?

We need to talk to somebody. We said, oh, good. This will be a fun phone call. And they called and they said, look, we met this couple locally. We really liked them. We went out with them a couple of times, invited them back to play. And we had our own parameters. We had our own rules. We had our own boundaries. And we talked about what that was. And our friends have been in the Lifestyle for a while. For a while. Yeah.

And then when they started the play, the other couple would suggest doing things that were not what they had agreed to do right and at first it was just the little things and um not to get into the details but what happened was they our friends kept saying okay i guess it's okay yeah i guess it's okay and they were and they would rationalize it by saying well we like them and they're new to this too well the the other couple was new our friends are not new but the other couple was so they they were just trying to kind of help their friends find their way exactly so they kept giving in and you know first it was you know one-on-one texting well we don't normally do that but, you know, we can do that.

Well, what about separate room play? Well, that's really not our thing, but I guess it would be okay since we know you a little bit better now. And hey, what do you guys think about separate dates or more intimate texting or being exclusive play partners? And all of this kind of transpired over a period of time. It was a little bit at a time. And then all of a sudden they realized they were doing a whole lot of things that were way, way out of their comfort zone and things that they had agreed they wouldn't do. And they stopped themselves and they say, how did we get here? Right. Right.

I think i think when it happens slowly slowly like that you don't realize how far away you've drifted you know outside of your normal guardrails right and you've set up for yourself and they really like this couple so they were they were asking us what should we do should we you know should we tell them about this should we just not see them again should we you know we don't know how to get ourselves out of this jam that we've gotten ourselves right because they really like the couple and i think they want to stay friends with them but they just need to get back into their comfort zone a little bit more right so then we decided that um that would make a good podcast episode because you and I have done the same thing.

Yeah. Um, so we threw this, this kind of scenario out in our community and we got a lot of feedback from people in our community to probably 30 or 40 comments. Well, again, I don't think I'm the only person with this problem, You're in this to have fun. And sometimes it's easier to take the path of least resistance than having to stop and have this big, long, drawn-out discussion. Right. So anyway, what we want to talk about first is how and why does this happen? How do we find ourselves in these situations?

And so part of what we're going to talk about now, and some of these responses came from us, and some of them are from our community. Number one, I'm more concerned about hurting other people's feelings than I am about moving my boundaries a little bit. Right. Because I think, you know, like you and I know we're going to be okay. Right. So if we have to adjust a boundary in the moment, I think, you know, maybe it, it wouldn't be what we would initially choose to do, but we know it's not really going to be a deal breaker for you and I, right?

And then sometimes, you know, moving a boundary could end up putting you someplace good that you had never really been brave enough to try before, you know, whatever the situation is. Yeah. But what we're talking about here is that I really don't want to do it, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. So I'm going to do it. It's not. Anyway, we'll get into that in a minute. But that was the first thing is there are a lot of people who are more concerned about other people's feelings than they are maybe sacrificing their own comfort zone. Yeah.

Second, with hormones and alcohol and a stimulating environment sometimes i don't even realize i've relaxed my boundaries until after the fact right what could possibly go wrong yeah or you wake up in the next morning and you'll wait wait a minute did i do that did we yeah that you know what that happened to. You know, we were with friends, and we normally don't play in the same room. And then we got up the next morning, and I realized, you know, actually, physically, I was in the next room over while you were playing. Yeah.

And sometimes you realize we didn't really think about it in the moment, but later we realized what in my defense we asked y'all to come in with us and i think one of you said okay and i heard that so i went on ahead and then y'all never came in and by that time i was busy i'm gonna go back to what i started hormones alcohol and a stimulating environment that's that's what we were in the middle of okay it wasn't alcohol for me it was just well i'm just saying these are things that it could be well i'm saying it doesn't have to be all three no right um how and why does this happen i feel that sometimes other people are intentionally manipulative because i and know that i'm a nice person and this does happen not often but it does to us it doesn't honey but it does happen yeah there are people who will take advantage of the fact that you're a newbie or or sense that you're a nice person and they will agree to your rules and then they'll intentionally push the boundaries and again if you're too nice or you don't want to you know go cause a scene you know you find yourself in a situation that you didn't want to be in right sometimes there's a physical move beyond what we agreed and then they ask if that was okay so after the fact yeah and that that you know was that a mistake or was that kind of a trick like if if we say you know uh no full swap or and then all of a sudden there's a move to do that and then you which is exactly what happened to you and i at that house party years ago yeah and then all of a sudden it's like oops is that okay and then you're like well it's already done now but or you you're just saying well i you don't use your words and you don't say because again you're you could be too nice about it and and you know can i say this doesn't get any easier with experience because i've actually gotten worse at it because when we were at that house party we had probably only been in the lifestyle like a year or two and when the guy said in the middle of play is it okay if we full swap i said no i said no we agreed to soft swap and i was the wet blanket that night um it happened again recently um and i gave in because thought, I thought you wanted to do it.

So I gave in and did it and I didn't really enjoy it because it wasn't because I didn't like the guy and And I liked what he was doing, I just felt manipulated and I felt too nice. I gave in because I was too nice. Well, I think we can just shut the podcast down right now. I'm just having this realization right now. I know. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do know what you're talking about.

And then you were upset the next morning and then of course when you're upset i take a lot of that as being directed at me right and and that's really not fair to either one of us because i'm upset at the situation right maybe it's the way you and i handled the situation but it's the situation it's not you directly right because if i'm not allowed to like be upset with the situation then and then that just makes you even nicer which is exactly what we're trying to get away from yeah i think there's a subtle difference though of somebody um because some people just get caught up in the moment and they and they might not even realize that they're pushing you across a boundary exactly and that's probably what happened the night that i'm that is yeah but there's two different situations here because there are people who will pray p-r-e-y on others you know just to get what they want right it's it's the reality of the lifestyle and that's you know that's especially um an important warning for newbies i mean i think if you've been doing it a while you can kind of sniff that out right um and avoid those it's the people i think when it's hard is like in our situation when it's really nice people and there's no malintent or deviousness it's just everybody's caught up in the moment and all of a sudden boundaries become fluid and and then like i'm caught up in the moment too and i'm enjoying the people, not necessarily the actions because, I mean, what he was doing was nice.

I just wasn't mentally prepared to full swap. Sometimes I think it might be.

One comment was, as much as my partner and I are on the same page, this was really my partner's boundary and not mine so i'm afraid when we started playing my body language indicated that i wanted to do more yeah because it was the it was my partner's boundary and i was honoring that and so i said the same the right thing but then when we started playing my body betrayed me yeah and so I sent the wrong signal to the person and they responded to it yeah okay sometimes the request to go beyond comes at the last minute or even during play and you and I that's exactly what. Both times.

Okay, well, what I'm talking about here is a little bit different because we, remember, we had a few bad experiences where we would be with a new couple and we would agree before we went into the bedroom what the boundaries were. And then we would be in the middle of play and they were enjoying themselves so much that they would say, Hey, I think we're okay to move forward. And we had to come up with the rule where we, we said, we're not going to do that anymore. You know, we're, we're going to, um, because then, because then there, there might be an issue.

And so we said, whatever agree to do is what we're going to stick to. Yeah, and then we'll just have to try it next time after we talk about it. Right. We would much rather have a great experience and save something for next time. So sometimes you get these requests at the last minute or sometimes you get these requests during play and you're having a great time. And so you're just going to say, yes, I'm going to be nice about it and say yes. Where if you would have been level headed before you went in there, you probably would have said something different. Right. Right. Yeah.

So I think, you know, what this leads to when you're too nice is sometimes you can end up taking one for the team. You know, like you, you watch your partner connect with a couple and you can tell that either he or she is like really, really into it and you know they want to have some sort of experience with this, well, couple or individual, depending on what the situation is. And you don't want to deny that for your partner. So you just kind of go along with it, even though you wouldn't have chosen that person or a couple to play with.

Again, that's being taken one for the team is like the ultimate being too nice i don't i don't need to add anything to that you're you're right wait what you're right oh episode 115 so how much does it matter this is one we're going to get into what you were trying to get into a little bit earlier before i was ready to go here oh my god the stupid outline sorry how much does it matter okay so you were trying to get into a little bit earlier before I was ready to go here. Oh my God, the stupid outline. Sorry. How much does it matter? Okay, so you were nice. So it went a little bit beyond.

So what? How egregious was this violation? Well, right, because it could have been taking one for the team. It could have been doing something that you didn't want to do. It can be having your partner do individual texting that's crushing you because you feel left out and unsure. Well, I'm talking about like sex without a condom. That's egregious. Oh, well, yeah. Okay. That's worse. Okay.

But to me, for all of us, of us we all have triggers obviously the no condom thing's a problem um but the the other stuff could be like huge for somebody right like if they have like this insecurity it could be really egregious although to everybody else it's it was a minor infraction yeah right so the point I'm trying to make here is that you and I can't define egregious for other people. Right. You have to decide as a couple, okay, wait a minute. Was this a big deal or was it not a big deal? Yes, I was a little bit too nice. We went across the line.

You've said this before to quote Mrsrs jones nothing in a bar of soap can't handle um no triggers let's talk about whether this should be a boundary or let's talk about maybe i shouldn't be so nice next time and i should stand my ground so really the conversation and the resolution is going to depend on how egregious you believe the violation was right yeah right but i guess my my point is is that sometimes something big to me will seem ridiculous to you and not in a mean ridiculous way but just like so small right and you don't understand why i'm i'm like standing here with my head spinning around.

Yeah, exactly. I think to your point, everybody has to decide for themselves where their boundaries are and what's a big deal and what's not a big deal. Because if it's not a big deal, it's easier to learn a lesson and not do it again. Next time, I'm not going to be so nice. Next time, I'm going to use my voice. I'm going to say, no, remember, we agreed not to do that, and I'm not comfortable doing that. Was it the first time that this has happened? With our friends, this happened over a series of playtimes with this other couple. It didn't happen just once. It happened over and over again.

So you have to ask yourself, was this a one-time thing? Was it at a resort or an event and we're never going to see these people again? So we can just chalk it up to a learning experience or are these friends of ours that we want to get to know, but we can't keep going down this path or we got to rein this in. So how much does it matter to you? It really depends on the situation and the friends that you're with or the people that you're with. Exactly. Right. The other thing is, and you just mentioned this a minute ago, is did you enjoy it?

So, you know, let's say that in the sense you were talking about our experiences when it went to full swap and you didn't necessarily want it to. And you said, it's not that you didn't enjoy it. It's just that you weren't in the right mindset for it or, you know, it wasn't something that you initially wanted to do. Right. So and if you did enjoy it, well, then maybe the conversation is different. Maybe the conversation is, well, do we need to shift our boundaries a little bit? Or no, we want to stick it here. And the problem is I was being too nice and I didn't speak up.

And lastly, how much does it matter? Do you feel like it was intentional?

and most of the times it's not i think we have to give the people benefit of the doubt right i mean there are people that are a little predatory out there um you know they're there um but i i'd say for the most part people that you meet, it's kind of like the blind leading the blind, you know, especially like if you're kind of new and the couple you're with is kind of new, like nobody really, we're all trying to figure this out and we're, you know, you're trying to figure your own shit out and then you're trying to like read the minds of people that you don't really know very well. Right.

Like that's And conversely, people cannot be expected to read your minds. And that's my problem. You know, I'm too nice because I don't use my fucking words as we've been told that we need to do. I mean, that's so much easier said than done in a lot of situations. Right. Yes. Okay. So then the other thing to consider is what's the fallout from all of this? Okay. You're too nice. You assess the situation. It was a big deal or it wasn't a big deal. What's the fallout? Like I said, was this a one-time thing?

Was this a couple you didn't know where you had a desire for a week and you're never going to see them again? Or was this a local couple that you really enjoy being with and you've been with a few times and you want to continue to be with them a few times? So the fallout is going to depend on what's at risk here. And if it's somebody you want to be friends with, then the fallout can be hurtful.

And otherwise you can you can just kind of say well let's chalk that up to a learning experience and we're never going to see them again anyway so we don't have to worry about it yeah well and to me that the fallout can be friction between you and I because again like I know I can't expect other people to read my minds, but I think after almost 40 years, you should be able to read my mind. Seriously. Right. And what do you think about that statement? It's an epic fail every time. Okay. It's not fair. I know it's not fair. Okay.

But in my female mind, I really think you should be able to do that. Okay. So since you brought this up in my logical brain, Oh, I really think you should be able to do that. Okay. So since you brought this up in my logical brain, Oh, here comes therapy. What you're saying is that when I look across the bed and I see your face and because you've already said in front of God and the thousands of people listening tonight and to me.

I really hope has a night off that that you're too nice you've stated that you're too nice you've also stated that you don't use your fucking words yeah and because you're nice you're your facial expressions are a positive thing because you're you don't want to hurt the feelings of the guy that you're with so you want him to think you're having fun and i'm supposed to look over there and see through all of that and and see that she looks like she's having fun she's enjoying herself she hasn't she hasn't said anything she hasn't stopped anything so therefore you realize after almost 40 years you say i should be able to see through all of that and read your mind yes i mean i i just don't understand no okay so the vast majority of the experiences we have are good.

So I think, again, I think this is where experience can bite you in the butt, is you get not overconfident, but you get comfortable with the way you manage situations, right? So then when we get into a situation that all of a sudden isn't going you know the way it typically does or the the vibe isn't you know where we're comfortable it's really hard to backpedal out of that um and that's where maybe you and i have become um, lacks our ability to like read each other's minds in the moment. No, you shouldn't be able to read each other's minds. No, what did we used to do?

Because like we used to be really good at it when we were new because we were always so like aware of how the other person was doing. And I think that's where we've kind of become a little lax as we have gotten more experience. And especially, you know, a lot of the people we play with are tried and true friends that we've known for a long time.

So when we do encounter new couples, all of a sudden we're in this unfamiliar territory again where we actually have to like be aware of you know what's going on in the room because it's unpredictable with people that you haven't played with before okay no well the easiest thing to do would be to not be nice and speak of. That's all. It's very simple. I know. That's true. Yeah. And someone who loves me very much also told me early in the lifestyle, you need to stop thinking about me so much and what I want, and you need to tell me what you want in the lifestyle.

Well, there is a balance there, honey. Okay. So anyway, the longer this goes on, and are these friends, and do you need to talk with them? I mean, in our friends' situation that they described to us, they wanted to stay friends with these people. So the fallout is going to be, I'm going to lose this friendship if we don't have a conversation. And so that's important enough to us to have a conversation about it with them because we don't want to lose the friendship. Right. So they had to backpedal on the texting and the separate dates. Right.

And the longer that goes on, the more difficult that that conversation becomes because it just wasn't one incident it was several things that led to that so to to wrap it up about being too nice is uh you know we we said at the very beginning that most of us including me you know we're we're nice people and we don't want to hurt other people's feelings. So are there ever times you think you're too nice? Have you ever gotten yourself into situations? I mean, I didn't mean to make this all about me. How do you feel about how you handle things? Are you too nice sometimes?

Um, I don't think it bothers me as much when things don't go the way that I either wanted or didn't want them to go. Because I'm, as we just described in our therapy session a few minutes ago, I'm more focused on trying to make sure you're okay. And so I don't, you know, what happens to me is really not that it's not traumatic for me if if some if somebody does something more than what what i've agreed to i don't really you know i mean i might i mean there have been times that we've been in events and people have been pretty forward with me. And I've let that happen once or twice.

Well, that's true. This isn't even a play session. No, no. It's just somebody walking up to you in the pool and grabbing you. But again, for me as a guy and just my personality and my background, I, I just kind of learn how to position myself and I kind of know that look. And when I see it come and I try to avoid it, but if it happens, the thing about it though, is it's usually not somebody that I want to continue to have a friendship with. It's just an incident, you know, in a group of people.

It's not like in the playroom, you know, because there have been times when I do most of my communication through body language and through physically stopping somebody or shifting my body or distracting. I don't really come out and say, I don't want to do this. I might say, hey, I need a drink of water or, you know, hey, I need to go to the restroom or something like that and just get out of it in the moment.

Well, and like with friends, it's easier for me to talk about the positive or what could we do like what I've said before um and these are with people that we're friends with or we want to be friends with right like maybe it's new in the friendship and something happens that I'm not really super either comfortable with or thrilled about or whatever, I'll like to like maybe afterwards when we're kind of debriefing with the other person or the other couple is kind of say what we could do differently next time. And so I won't, because again, I'm too nice.

I won't say, well, I didn't really like that, but I would like it better if you did this, or I'm not really comfortable. I will say I'm not comfortable with texting, because I'm just not, I'm a terrible texter anyway. And then to have to manage a conversation on my own would be, like, that would be traumatic for me. Yes. But so I try to always use the positive to more of a redirect than a, just a critique, I guess. Yeah. Right. So feelings, the thing about it though, feelings may eventually hurt, get hurt even more if we don't say something initially. Yeah.

Especially if they're friends of then they're gonna be like oh my god like i've been doing something or we've been doing something that y'all didn't even want to do and you didn't even bother to tell me yeah and the reason i say that is because if your intention is to avoid hurt feelings sometimes you're really leading on to more hurt feelings by not quote-unquote hurting somebody's feelings initially.

Because the first or second time it happens, it's easier than if it's compounded time after time and then all of a sudden it's weeks or months later and you got to go back and you got to untangle all of that. So feelings may get hurt eventually anyway. Sparing somebody hurt feelings may actually hurt you or your partner's feelings or your relationship with your partner. So in other words, we may, because we are nice, and I'm not talking about you and me at this point in time, even though I'm looking at you.

Sometimes we, because we tend to sometimes hurt the people that we're closest to, because we just do that. We're married and that's the way it is. Right. We take people for granted. And we would rather spare the people we don't know and the strangers we don't know and the people we don't want to hurt their feelings and just absorb it within your own relationship and personality. Yeah. And that doesn't mean you have to be like mean to the other people or be an asshole about it. You know, you just, I think need to be more direct. Right.

Um, if you, if you can't redirect it in a subtle fashion, then eventually somebody's going to have to say something. Exactly. Right. Um, also the other, the other couple may not have be hurt at all.

They might, their feelings might not get hurt get hurt at all like if you say gosh I really wish we wouldn't have done that or or gosh I don't I don't want to do this at the moment they may say oh my goodness thank you for telling me that that's good information I I don't want to do anything intentional so that your perception was you were going to hurt their feelings by stopping them, but really their reaction could be just the opposite. It could be very positive. Right.

They, they just truly misread the situation and had no idea they were getting ready to do something that you didn't like or, or that, you know, they're, they're texting you and you don't like that.

Maybe you haven't let them know that it puts you out of your comfort zone remember when we went on a we went on a cruise one time and i know my friends in new york and new jersey are going to give me a hard time about this we went on a cruise out of new jersey and it was full of people from the northeast yes and uh we had dinner at the same table with, with a bunch of people from Jersey and New York and they were very opinionated and very direct with the waiter every night. Do you remember that? Yes. And I was a little bit embarrassed because I'm like, boy, these people complain a lot.

They're kind of rude. They just kind of say what they mean. And then towards the end of the week, the waiter said something to me and I said, no, everything is fine. And he said, sir, I can't possibly provide you the best dining experience if you don't tell me if there's something wrong with your meal. And he said, I love going out of this part of the country because these people have no problem telling me what I need to do better. And if I know what I need to do better, I'll do better. So I, I totally just was thinking that I was going to, I'm too nice.

I'm going to, I'm not going to, I'm not going to send my food back, you know, because I don't want to be that guy, but sometimes that's what they want you to do so they can learn.

nice i'm gonna i'm not gonna i'm not gonna send my food back yeah you know because i don't want to be that guy but sometimes they that's what they want you to do so they can learn how to be better so we need to send our food back i know yeah well even here recently the guy the waiter said is your chicken okay and i said well yeah it's all right he goes it looks a little dry to me i said yeah it is a little dry and he said I'm going to take it back so he had to like he had to convince me that my my food was right not prepared I would have never said anything because I'm I'm just too nice about it yep yep um it's another uh as Catherine says it's an AFOL know, it's another fucking opportunity to learn.

Yes, it is. Just like every time. Every time, right. And then as someone, again, I'm going to quote you again tonight. We are beholden to no one, right? So that that means that we should be able to give ourselves grace and permission to hurt somebody else's feelings because we would rather, we would rather prioritize and save, um, you know, something between the two of us. Yeah. That was much easier to write down than it is to live out. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying you.

Well, at the end of the the day we've never really done anything i mean we've we've gotten irritated with each other a few times during our lifestyle journey but it's never really caused a big enough problem that it's been a concern no just annoying Yeah but you know that's part of being married right i mean one thing that i like we just talked was this tonight we were just talking about it either you're growing or you're dying right that's what i said about the community.

And I think when you get in these situations, it makes you grow because you're out of your comfort zone and you're trying to figure out how to manage it on the fly. And, you know, unfortunately, you know, some of us have a default setting where we would just rather smooth things over and deal with them later. Sometimes that's okay.

Sometimes it's not going to end the world to end the world right but sometimes it's kind of a bigger deal and you and that's when you really need to use your words right and and just remember people cannot be expected to read your mind even your partner yes but i will in in your defense you know i will say that your comment earlier about we've been married almost 40 years i should be able to do that and that's because i think in a lot of other aspects in our day-to-day life i can do that right i know and likewise yeah so we carry that feeling and that false sense of security into the playroom where this is a whole different animal in a whole different world and something that even though we've been married this long you don't necessarily do this kind of thing every day right you know it's not like raising.

It's not like financial situation. It's not like careers and family stuff and the stuff that we're used to dealing with as a couple. So I can predict a lot of times how you're going to react to things. But when you get into the lifestyle, it's a different, it's a whole different ballgame. Right. Because there's hormones and alcohol and, you know, other people stimulating you both emotionally and physically that you're just not part of your day to day life. So you don't know how you're going to react. How in the world should your partner know? Right.

And for the most part, in parallel with what you just said to the rest of our lives, when we're dealing with financial issues, career issues, school issues, kids issues, family issues, we're normally not drinking and hormones don't come into play. And it's not an overwhelming environment. It's not a stimulating environment. So you're able to keep your wits about yourself. That's the whole thing about the lifestyle is you're, all of those things come into play and logic goes out the window.

Uh, all of a sudden I can't read your mind because of the dynamic in the room you're trying to make somebody else feel like you're having a good time and i and i don't pick up if it's just the two of us i know the look what look and if you're over on the other side of the bed and you give me the look i know the look but sometimes i'm either distracted or You're trying to make him think that you're having a good time. So I don't, I don't want, I don't want you to think that I am picking on you. It's, it's just, it's just the thing that you have to learn how to deal with in the lifestyle.

And to your point, you know, we're so far we're still together you know we've just bought a new house and thou. And to your point, you know, we're so far, we're still together. You know, we've just bought a new house and I kind of like it here and I kind of like being around you, you know, so I'm not going to fuck that up. You're cute. I'll keep you. Okay. Good. So, but I think it's important though that we end this way because I think sometimes we get into these conversations and it sounds so really serious and it sounds like it's the end of the world or it causes all these problems.

But it's just like any other relationship, you know, just like stale potato chips, you know. It was tortilla chips, babe.

tortilla chips you never know what's going to make your partner upset and you go through it and you get you know you learn and it at the end of the day it doesn't really cause any problems with the foundation of your relationship it's just two people cohabitating in life so okay um so anyway just those of you who are too nice out there uh you and you know who you are um good luck with that i know there there's no good answer yeah because you we are how we are and that's that's a hard thing to unwire yeah you know especially if you've been around a couple decades you know so we gave you absolutely no solution to this problem.

Basically, what we're saying is. We're giving you an awareness. Yeah, it happens to the best of us. Don't get divorced over it. You know, it's not that big of a deal. Talk it through. It's just like any other thing that you go through. And, you know, everybody has to decide how they want to handle it.

Well, and I think with think with experience in the lifestyle you know if you have that self-awareness that you tend to be too nice at least you can see it coming you know and true you know you you may choose to just roll with it because it's the path of least resistance in the moment and you know you're going to get through it um but i i think the biggest thing is just at least having the awareness that that is your your default setting yeah yes exactly all right well when we come back we've got a couple of snapshots to share and then we'll wrap up episode 115 welcome back to snapshots i have a costa rica snapshot me too ladies first well we went to a club i'm gonna be nice oh you're always nice babe not too nice but you're nice.

Yeah, we went to a club. I'm going to be nice. Oh, you're always nice, babe. Not too nice, but you're nice. Yeah, right. Actually, you're a rascal, but whatever. So one night we took the golf carts down the treacherous road into town and we went to, I think we went out to dinner and then we went there twice.

One night we went to this club and Andbeknownst to us again these are uh tons of kids on their like gap decade down there yeah their parents are paying for their gap year and they're out surfing going to nightclubs but anyway so the nightclub we went there at like 8 30 one night and we were the only people in there and it was a super nice club and the bartender was bored so he was making us good drinks and everything and it was fine but you know they were saying he was saying come back you know again the music doesn't really get started and everything until 10 o'clock so another night goes by and we go down there and we got there after 10 and there was like techno music up front yeah it was a really long narrow Yobar, according to mr jones the band was fantastic and that's praise rarely get oh my gosh they were a good band yeah yeah and there was an older guy playing the um bongo drums he was weird yeah but he was good he was weird it was they were really tight i mean you had you could tell they had played together for a long time and everyone was enjoying their music yeah yeah and was it the lead guitarist or the bass player that had the man bun oh i think i think, I don't remember.

You're going to have to remember things like that. He was cute. I don't know. Well, you pointed him out to me. I know because I know you like man buns. I know, I do. That's not possible for me anymore. So all of the gap year people were like crowded around the dance floor and not that many people were dancing. That one like girl that was like on something was dancing. Remember she was like. She was dancing when there was no music. Yeah. She was dancing to her own music. Yeah. There was a lot going on in that brain that night. But they were all just kind of standing around the dance floor.

And then you took a couple steps up and there was another bar in the back. And that's where we hanging out we had that whole bar to ourselves for the most part yeah so there's there's 12 middle-aged yeah grown-up people to be generous hanging out at this bar in the back and then all the the young people were down but i mean we were right there bathrooms were behind Yes. So they all had to keep walking by us to go to the bathroom. The old people. They had to go through the old people who were in the back holding their eardrums because the music was too loud.

So the first thing that happened is one of our, one of the wives, you're really good friends with her and you two are, you're trouble when you two get together and you two were standing there talking and I was behind you talking to somebody else. So, let's pray.

good friends with her and you two are your trouble when you two get together and you two were standing there talking and I was behind you talking to somebody else but I'm watching you and I could tell that there was some plotting going on yes there was so you first of all got her to go up to this really hot girl down watching the band can I just pause you for a minute yeah because back to the whole we were the only ones back there we were we were the old people yes we were and that changed well yeah that was the perception in the the room was that oh, there's old people back there. I know.

Okay, now go on with your story. Okay, well, I can tell that part of the story. Okay, yeah. So she and I were scoping the room, and I happened across a young lady in a black dress who looked like she was by herself. Yes. And I told my friend, I said, do you see that lady in the black dress? And she said, I noticed her too. And I said, I think she's by herself. We should target her. And she said, I'm in. Tell me what I should say. So my friend and I are a good team because she has the balls to go up and talk to her. But I am strategic.

I tell her what I think she should say i coach her oh my gosh so you know i said well you need to go up to her and introduce yourself and just tell her you know that you've noticed you know standing over there and you know just wanted to come over and say hello so before i even had a chance to finish coaching her she took off and she's takes a beeline across the and she's um she goes up to her and she starts talking and we're off looking at it from a distance so we can't tell what's going on and we can't hear because the band's playing and at first it looked like it was going well and then all of a sudden turned around and just walked straight back.

And then she got to me and she said, we forgot to. She said, we forgot one thing. We forgot to consider one important thing. And I said, what's that? They need to be able to speak English. And I said, oops, I didn't think about that. So their conversation was very brief because neither one of them could understand the other person. So then a few minutes later, I lost sight of her and I didn't really know where she had gone. And her husband comes up to me and he's like, you need to go. I think you should go help her. And I'm like, what?

And he turns me around and she's down and like the back of the bar, kind of away from the dance floor, talking to this young guy. And he looked American. Can I stop you for a minute? Is this before or after the cage dance? Oh, I forgot about the cage dance. Yeah, so you gotta talk about that first. All the girls ended up, there was this thing back behind the dance floor, and it kind of looked like a cage, but it also looked like something that you would see on a construction site. I don't know what it was. It looked like one of those portable elevators that you see on a construction site.

Yeah. But so anyway, it was just kind of- But to deviant people like us, it was a cage that needed to be danced in. Well, and it had a step going up to it. Yeah. I mean, because it was like a good two or three feet off the floor. So it, I mean, but I looked and I said, is that a dance cage? And some of the other ladies said, it is now. So the six of us went and got inside the cage. The six of you ladies. Yes. The six of us ladies went and got inside the cage and we were all dancing.

And I think at this point, I need to point out, all of a sudden, we were not the old people in the back of the room anymore. All of a sudden, people were looking at us and noticing us. So go ahead with your story. Okay, so we did that for a while, and yes, we had a lot of people's attention as we were doing that, and I mean, we didn't even take our clothes off or anything, like, jeez, we were just dancing. No, but you were touching each other and close together and grinding. Well, there were six people in this little tiny cage, like, you had to be close and touch. Right.

I think the band even missed a beat or two as they were watching all of this. Oh, really? I didn't even notice that. Okay. So go on. I'm sorry to interrupt. So then we did that. And that was fun. So then a few minutes later, we're all back and I got another drink and I'm standing there. And your friend, her husband, our devious friend, her husband comes up and he says, I think you should go help her. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And I turn around and just outside of the cage, there was these young people at a table really close to where we were all dancing in the cage.

And this guy was part of that table. so they're all just kind of standing around and our friend is talking to this guy and he was super tall like he was way taller than you. Like this guy must've been at least six, six. And our friend is very petite. So anyway, I'm looking at her and I'm like, okay, well I'll go help that. Cause he, this guy was really hot. So I went down there and she was talking to him while he was a fricking college student.

And, um, she, she was just kind of asking him where he was from and who he was with and how long he was there and this and that so then i just started engaging in the conversation too and then after i don't know maybe like three or four minutes one of the other husbands comes down that is neither my husband nor my friend's husband. And he just kind of comes down and he comes right up to me and he puts his arm around my shoulders and he kisses me. And I was like, okay, that was nice. And then he walks over and he kisses our friend after he just finished kissing me.

And we're talking to this college guy. So the college guy really didn't think too much of it because he didn't know who my husband was. So then when our friend I'll see you next time. talking to this college guy. So the college guy really didn't think too much of it because he didn't know who my husband was. So then when our friend kissed my lady friend, the college guy's eyes got huge. And he was like, hmm, what's going on here? So then one of the other ladies comes down and she comes up and kisses me. One of our friends.

Yeah she comes down and kisses me okay so so hold on a minute because while all this is going on the rest of us are wondering how we can just make this so much more uncomfortable for this guy right yeah right so then another lady comes down and she kisses me right so his eyes get even bigger yeah and then and then she kisses my other girlfriend so and then like the another girl came down and there were three girls kissing all at once and i was not one of those girls at the moment so i looked up at the guy and he just takes a step back throws his hands up in the air and he's like i I'm out.

He was just on absolute sensory overload. Yeah. But what you don't understand is after he went back to his table, his buddies were giving him shit. Yeah. I didn't even see that part. Yeah. Because y'all were just dying. And the same thing happened to us at Las Vegas one time, you know, young guys or any guys are so, they have so much bravado until the rubber meets the road. And then that guy threw up his hands. He didn't know what to do. So he had to, you know, he had to do, I'm out. And his buddies were ribbing him because. Oh, the look on his face. Yeah. Like it was priceless.

I was kind of sad I wasn't part of that three-way girl kiss, but the fact that I actually got to like watch him say, I call it, I can't handle this. So then, of course, we were all, we thought that was hysterical. All the old people making fun of the young people. So then we were there for like another hour or something. And then we finally leave. And we had lost sight of that group of people.

So as we were all were all walking out sure enough he was right at the narrow part up front where you kind of had to like you know just kind of scooch by to get out the front door this guy was there and he tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around and he said something like it was nice to meet you so I went up to him and I gave him a hug and when i hugged him i said i'm so sorry that we scared you tonight right in front of his friends no i said it in his ear i said it quietly in his ear i'm like i'm so sorry we messed you messed with you and scared you tonight and he was like no this is like the best night ever yeah this is better than surfing better than spending my mom's money because then after that it was like game on for the 12 of us like we were all kind of like kissing each other and like then all of a sudden it got crowded in the back and people were looking oh so that remember that other young guy walked up oh right right and i think he kind of wanted to come home with us yeah he did well again because again remember i said at the at the beginning of this long snapshot the bathrooms were in the back so once these guys realized what was going on they all conveniently had to go keep going to the bathroom and walking between us because they wanted they were trying to figure out what the heck was going on yeah i think they figured they figured it out by the end of the night.

Yeah. That was funny. Yeah. So, so my snapshot is the same trip, the same people. We all went to, we were out one night and we went to a really nice kind of semi-indoor, semi-outdoor restaurant. And it was probably the finest dining restaurant in Tamarindo. And we were surprised that we were able to get a table for 12. We had to wait a little bit, but we got this table and they had a band playing. And again, remember the guy was playing the ukulele.

It was a really good they had a great bar service we all sat down we ordered the meal was amazing and then next to us though was a table of about eight or ten young attractive females yes all in a group and so me and my devious friend were sitting near each other. Oh, and you guys were at that end of the table. We were at that end of the table. How does that even happen? And I said, look, I said, I got an idea. And she said, what, what? And I said, look at that table next to us. And she said, yeah, I haven't figured them out yet. I'm like, we're in, this is not Nashville or Vegas.

This is freaking Costa Rica. How is there a table full of young girls together? I said, you need to go find out. First of all, I said, your first task is to go find out what is their story? You know, what are they doing, have a conversation with them and then come back so we can plot out part two. So she goes, I'm in. So she goes up and they were literally right next. I mean, probably like five feet away from us was their table. So she goes over and sure enough, just easy. She starts engaging. She starts talking and she comes back and she says, she says, you're not going to believe this.

It's a bridal party. They're on the bachelorette weekend in Costa Rica. And I said, okay, that's cool. Okay. Now that we know why they're here, this is what I need you to do. And we were about finished our meal. I said, go over there. We got to wait for the right time before their food gets here. And while the waiter's not there and you need to find out which one is the bride. And when you find out which one is the bride, you need to ask her, would you like me to tell you the secret to a long-term happy marriage?

And when she said, yes, you're going to say, being in the, being a swinger and non-monogamy is the key. And then you're going to turn and point at our table and you're going to say, everybody over there, all those people are swingers. And she looks at me and she goes, okay. And she gets up and she walks over there and she, you can see she's talking to them and they're all listening. And, and somebody points to the woman who's the bride. So she's doing everything that she's supposed to ask. And about that time, we were getting up to leave.

And we didn't know what she was saying, but they were really paying attention to her. And we all got up. We had paid our bill, and we walked by that table, and we all walked out. And then she came out behind us. And when she came out, we said, well, what did you say? And she said, I told them exactly what you said. And when I said non-monogamy, they all stopped talking and they looked at me and they said, are you serious? And she said, yes, everyone at that table right there that's walking by you, we're all swingers.

And then she put, then she turned around and walked away and she heard one of the girls say, oh, my God, we're going to we're going to be talking about this all night. And so we just made our ex. It was like a mic drop, you know, at that point in time. So it's so much fun messing with people. Right. And and the thing is, is like both nights, like, well, OK, after we scared that guy, like, you know, we were just being crazy. But, I mean, for the most part, we're six, you know, couples with our shit together, and we know how to behave in public.

So, like, you wouldn't know it by looking at the 12 of us.

you're yes i think i think because all you ladies are sexy looking and everybody was well just because you're sexy doesn't mean we were a good looking group well yeah we are a good looking group right i think i think people notice us they might not know what it is that we do and they're still surprised by it but well okay here's what's weird in today's society unfortunately is that you have six couples that are all look like they're happily married right you know so many so many people are just um i don't know caught in situations or they're just drugged down by life that's true and they're not happy but yeah so it's probably rare to see 12 people so so anyway happy here's the end of the story so as as i tend to do once we left there i said okay i was talking to my friend i said okay let's continue this story these girls and and they were like they were they were between 25 and 30 i said these girls are gonna get on the plane they're gonna fly home this bride is gonna go to her fiance they're they're not gonna talk about surfing or bar hopping or any of that the first story she's going to tell him are about all these swingers that, and so one of two things is going to happen.

Either he's going to say, Oh really? Like, tell me more about that. Or he's going to say, you're a freak. The wedding is off. I'm out. That's not funny. I know. I know. But in my mind, that's the fun of it is, you know, just trying to imagine how people process it because it's not something that you hear every day. And so to be able to, you know, to have fun with it, we don't know them, gave them something to remember. It was just the ideal environment and the ideal situation. Yep, that's true. Okay. Well, we're already talking with our friends about where we're going to go next year.

I know, can't wait till we go again. Hopefully that was a first annual because it was definitely a blast. Yeah, yeah. Nothing like a laid back week with a bunch of sexy friends. Well, you know, it really, you know, as we are in our, you know, 10th year of the lifestyle, you know, we've gotten to a point where it means a whole lot more to us now than we ever thought it would. And this trip was just a classic example of that being with just awesome people for a week and having a good time. All right. So that wraps up. Are you too nice? episode 115. We'd love for you to join our WGT community.

We've got some big news coming pretty soon. We hope you'll join us for that. If you have any questions about that or anything else, feel free to email me at MrJones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at WeGotAThing.com. Or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. Our website is wegotathing.com, W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com. You can follow us on Twitter or X at wegotathing. Yes. And what our community is not, is our community is not designed to be a dating site. So if you are interested in a dating site, you can get some free trial subscriptions and test out SDC and Cassidy from our website.

So please stop by and do that. Or you can book your trip to Desire through us. We'd love to see you June 22nd through 29th. And if not or you can book your trip to desire through us we'd love to see you june 22nd through 29th and if not you can always book your trip to desire whenever you go through our website you know we had a couple people just um go on a desire cruise we did they booked through our website too we did yeah cruises temptation how that went yeah we'll do that again someday yeah we do so thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing?

We'll be you next time.