Episode 108: Navigating Vacation Playtime

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a longtime married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 108 of the we got a thing podcast this is going to be a complete unmitigated disaster how so your attitude is bad well okay we have new equipment and as y'all know that didn't go well last time but we have a new equipment working now yeah we're in a different room and i'm sitting in a different place i know and there's air blowing you're all discombobulated i know yeah and the dog's gonna snore any second i know well i got stuff to throw at her we're on a different level of the house i know with the bars right here so your drink situated it the correct side now yeah and the bar is right there so refills are easy you don't have to climb up the stairs it's a good thing we're moving to a 55 and better community because we're sounding old and crotchety i know crotchety sorry but then we're gonna have to go down there and like find a new spot to get set up i know that's the whole idea acoustics are going to be different that's the whole idea of mobile equipment i know so that we can take it where we go okay and we're sitting at the bar isn't this nice we're sitting at our bar there's air blowing on me i know i'm cold we should go put a jacket on It's June.

Well, good Lord. I don't want to look at my suntan arms? No. So we're going to talk about navigating vacation playtime. Yes. Let's get to the point. Well, we just got home from the Dominican Republic and I have a really nice tan that I don't want to cover up with a jacket. We just got finished navigating vacation playtime experiences. Oh, yes, we did. Which was good. It was always an AFOL, that's for sure. Well, yeah. I mean, that's the way that it goes. Yep. So we just got home from our inaugural trip, inaugural group trip. Oh, yeah, for sure. To Temptation Grand Meechee's. It was awesome.

And we talked about the resort itself last month, so we're not going to go over that very much. But we do want to talk about the week and the people and the fun that we had. Oh, definitely. So where do we start?

Well, first of all, we should start from the fact that when we arrived we were told i know like trumpets need to be blaring right now we came through the door and uh the management team was waiting there for us oh first of all wait a second yeah our butler was standing at the door waiting for us you know because like you have to stop at a little checkpoint when you enter the property so i'd like to think he had been there all day but you know they say you know the jones has just pulled up and blah so yeah i know but we had three different people from the resort message me in whatsapp and ask what time we were arriving right right so i figured they were going to have people there waiting for us which they've never done before right so I knew something was cooking yeah well I mean it was awesome because Jordan was standing there and you know like like we've said a million times like Pearl is our place and we've been there so many times now you know we know so many of the staff and everything and and Grand Meeches is you know it's new territory and we have to like learn all the people and and know, kind of find our vibe there.

But to walk in the second time we were there and have Jordan waiting on us, you know, and saying, welcome home. And it's like, oh my gosh. Okay. This feels really good. Yeah. It was, it felt nice to go back. It was great. So they, we, we got there and we saw instantly some management friends from Cancun because they had flown in to help with the announcement that our group was going to be the first to experience their reversion back to their original clothing optional policy.

Yes, so the Gran Miche side of Temptation now has the same clothing optional policy that they have at their two desire resorts in Mexico. So the pool is clothing optional now. Yes. And forgive me for being a little bit leery of that. But my first question was, is this real and is it permanent? Right. I figured it was a rumor. And they assured us that it was real. And what we're going to do, we'll talk a little bit about it today.

But while we were there, we sat down and interviewed and recorded a podcast with three of the senior managers from original resorts that oversee all the temptation and desire resorts. Yeah, so we figured, because they were pretty adamant about asking our help to help people understand that they were relaunching. Yes. They were going back to the original policy. And so we invited them to, I said, look, if you all want people to hear this, they should hear it from you and not from me. So they agreed to sit with us while we were there. Yeah.

And I mean, we asked them some pretty frank questions and they were pretty forthcoming with the answers. They weren't toeing the line too much. They were being pretty honest. Yeah. So we're going to release that in a couple of weeks as a bonus podcast. So if you want to hear directly from Original Resorts slash Temptations Desire Management, it was a very interesting conversation.

And it went from the history of the company all the way up through the development of the properties in Cancun and then into Grand Meechee's and the problems that they've had there and then what the future looks like. Well, and it ended with a Q&A session because we invited our group to come and sit and listen and they had an opportunity to ask questions at the end. But we can tell you that Original Resorts now has full operational control of the resort chain. So we'll get into why that wasn't the case when we interview the management next month.

But suffice us to say that the management there is extremely happy because they have full control now. And that's why you're going to see that change plus a lot of other changes. Yeah, all for the better. And that's why they flew in a crew from Cancun. They were going to do some resetting, some retraining, implement some new policy and try to get back to ground zero as far as the vibe and the policy there. So enough about that. We can say that it was much improved from when we went there in April. The service is getting better. The communication gaps are not as wide. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Food was better. Food was better. They still have a ways to go with some of the things. But the resort itself is really laid out nicely. And we really had a good time. We had beautiful weather. Yeah. And we had a great group of friends. Yeah. I mean, what's not to like?

So much so that we're going to probably go back next june with a larger group yeah i think so i mean i it was a good time of year we had tons of teachers there you know because they were out of school for the summer so they had the opportunity to go whereas you know our november trip they don't have that luxury yeah And one of the things that we asked for, because since Desire was asking us for all these favors, we said, well, it seems like you could give us a favor. So what we have now, which we've never had before, are two exclusive promo codes for booking at any original resort.

So that's temptationcun desire rm or the dominican republic or desire pearl or desire pearl all of all of yeah or the two temptation properties in dominican republic so promo code wgt15 is going to get you our listeners 15 off of whatever they're offering currently at the resorts. And that's our promo code and it's not supposed to expire. Right. And it's valid when you go through our website. Yeah. Through our website, visit our website, book through our website, WGT15, and you can get your 15% discount.

Now, and if you happen to be in our community or join our members community, we have a promo code. With a deeper discount. Yes, with a much deeper discount. So we're happy that they were able to offer us those two things. So we feel like they're giving a little bit back to us and to you all for helping them get the word out about these changes. So, and then what we're going to do is, I don't know.

things so we feel like they're giving a little bit back to us and to you all for helping them get the word out about these changes so and then what we're going to do is at least right for now we have three trips scheduled for 2024 but we haven't settled on those dates yet so you're going to have to stay tuned as we now approach the we're halfway through 2023 already i know it's crazy so we'll be setting our 2024 dates within the next few weeks yep or so and we'll announce that soon yep once we get all this moving done yeah so speaking about moving it looks like our settlement date for our florida home is on track for early september yeah if we if they can find somebody to hang our drywall.

Well, we won't get into the politics of labor shortages in the state of Florida. I won't complain. Everything is moving along fine. And we went down there at the end of May to do our pre-drywall inspection, which we got to do on my birthday. That was the best birthday present ever. And things are moving along great.

They doing a really really good job yes yep and we had we enjoyed we stayed down there for a whole week um and we even practiced working from down there yeah we did did a pretty good job of it yeah we got to go to the beach one day that beach is so pretty i just can't believe i remember just sitting there looking at the water thinking this is 10 miles from my house like because we're seven miles off the coast and we had gone a couple miles down the beach to find a more private spot and i got the shit scared out of me i know you did because you could go way out i was i was up to my chest but it was i don't know how many feet i was out there way out there there's a huge sandbar there all of a sudden out of the blue and osprey hit the water about five feet away from me and scared daylight which means his wingspan he was like right oh my gosh it was it was incredible that thing it it was it it hit really hard and it was back up out of the water and no time carrying a big old fish and then he went he flew and landed on a telephone pole right so you got to watch him yeah and i've always seen him from afar but i thought i don't know how these fish can't see these things coming well i'll tell you what i never saw him coming he just hit five feet away from me he didn't care if i was there but yeah we spent the day at the beach discovered a few new restaurants yeah and a new brewery oh we went to the most lovely lovely restaurant for my birthday yeah we did it was super close to the house and um really good service and amazing food what a really cool ambiance yeah so yeah so now we got to we gotta get our list of like dive bars and fancy restaurants and so we can kind of just keep mixing it up we got a lot of work to do i know it's gonna be rough i know you know when we were down there um again this was like at the end of may mr jones was like yeah i think we'll be good like i think we'll be able to wait until the house is finished before we come back and i'm like are you kidding me there's no way i'm gonna be able to stay away three more months yeah so so therefore pretty sure we're headed back down at the end of july i'm a i'm your companion on southwest so it's it's really not that expensive for us to hop down there for the weekend so we probably will do that again yeah yeah so we'll we'll be up we'll be packing up our mobile podcast oh you know what's coming tomorrow yeah my new lawnmower oh yeah well there is that yeah your new lawnmower that you need for like less than a year yeah because you're not going to need one in florida yeah right for about 180 square feet of grass but you know you know what else is coming tomorrow uh an adapter for a monitor yeah and packing boxes oh packing boxes yeah here we go again yeah no the good thing is that we already downsized a lot and we're not taking everything so it's not going to be a big as as big of a job last time yeah it's still going to be awful all of a job last time.

Yeah. It's still going to be awful. All right. Well, before we get into our topic, just a quick health update because you all keep asking and thank you for asking. I've been using TriMix with limited success. Well, I mean, it works, but it was causing me some, not only discomfort, but I would say pain. Yeah.

Like it's hard to have sex with somebody when it hurts to touch it like that was really kind of defeating the purpose and it wasn't the injection site it was the medicine that was doing something to me so I called my doctor so they put me on a buy mix they eliminated one of the mixes and fortunately I got it it before we went to Grand Miche's and tested it out. And they, and they guessed right. They knew which, they knew which of the three formulas was causing the issue. Yeah. They said this one causes pain and usually 30, 35% of men.

And I said, well, I would have been nice to know ahead of time. Yeah. Right. No, rather than me taking it for almost a year.

Well, it hasn't been that long but anyway the good news is the by mix works number one i get hard and number two it doesn't hurt so i can actually enjoy myself and then i can also go to sleep if my erection's not gone yeah or before i couldn't do that yeah so we had some fun with that yeah we did talk about some of that well we had sex no it was the day after we got down there yeah in the morning we had morning sex we did and I was happy all day with the oh yeah we had the room we had the two-story room oh my gosh that room is so beautiful and if and the curtains go floor to ceiling on both levels and there's a infinity swim up pool out back but when you open the curtains you can see over top of the palm trees into the ocean yeah and the the top level is where the bed is and it's a loft and um and the wall that's you know protecting you at the edge of the loft is glass and then of course the whole back of the the room is glass right so you can lay in bed and just see like yes like the the pool and the grass and then the the landscaping and the huge tall palm trees and then the ocean and you can just see it all laying there in bed right it was glorious so you're you're uh my my biomix was injected and yours was after you opened the curtains i know mine was visual yeah yeah that was quite the aphrodisiac so that's the health update things are looking better i'm actually able to enjoy sex again which if you have a lifestyle podcast it's always good that's always a good thing the irony is ridiculous yeah because we haven't been able to talk about it i know we're trying people we're trying we're making progress all right when we come back we're going to talk about navigation navigating vacation play time and this is timely we've gotten a couple of questions from listeners and from our community about this so we decided to it would be a good time to talk about this topic since we just got back from vacation.

So we will like dive into that as soon as we come back. Welcome back to segment two. We ended up calling this navigating vacation playtime but mr jones had first labeled it as like turning down offers to play i'm like there is so much more to it than that um there's just there's a lot going on when you're at a multi-day event and you keep running into the same people over and over again. Yes.

So this is specifically around a multi-day trip to either a clothing optional resort like Desire or Hedo or maybe a naughty in New Orleans or even a PCAP event where you're going to be there for three or four or sometimes five because people extend on either end of the trip and a lot of times turn it into a four or five six day yeah they do trip and it's a little bit of a different dynamic and it creates its own unique set of opportunities but also challenges so we wanted to talk a little bit about why this is different and how you can be a little bit more successful and we can too because a lot of what we talk about are things that we hope to be able to do or aspire to do.

Yeah, so did you feel like we were kind of starting over last week? I did because I haven't played with I think maybe only one or two times since my surgery. And so this was the first time that I felt like I was getting back in the game. And I have to learn how to, you know, my body's a little bit different. It's responding differently. And I'm not as confident as I used to be. So is that affecting your flirt game?

Obviously, that's affecting your your playtime game I don't think it's affecting my flirt game I think what I'm what I'm trying not to do is dwell on it I'm trying not to meet a woman and say oh by the way it used to be this size and now it's this size or it used to curve this way and now it curves that way or i'm not it's not as it's it's different for me it feels different for me and so i have to learn how to use it again that's where i feel like i'm but you realize all the women that you're flirting with unless you play with them before they have no idea i know it's not about them it's about me what's in my head you know because i'm different my body's different and i have to learn how to use it and we have to get used to each other i have to get used to my new normal yeah but no as far as flirting i was fine and and i thought i did fairly well in play time too i tried to put it out of my head and i think for the, my partners had a good time.

I looked like you were having a good time. So we'll talk about that more. I had a good time. I know you did. So there's a lot of things to consider when you're going on one of these trips. And it's a whole lot different than a club. It's different than going out on a date. It's different than a lot of things. to ask ourselves, like, what is, what is your goal for the trip? You know, what is it that, are you just trying to connect as a couple? Are you just trying to meet new friends? Are you trying to hook up with, with people?

Like that's a conversation that you need to have before you even start. And everybody might be in a different place. Right.

And that, and that is going to be affected, um, by whether you're traveling by yourselves or with like you know one or two other couples that you're friends with or whether you're traveling with a group because that's going to change everything yeah because our group does a good job of connecting in our community beforehand so there's been some exchange text exchanges there's been some zoom meetings you know there's some uh familiarity at least with our group but but that's not the case all the time some people don't you know like the first few times we went we weren't with the group right you have to navigate it yourself but i think um like traveling with a group and like you know we always try to do at least one zoom call for everybody to meet each other and do breakout rooms and such that people can connect beforehand.

And that might lead people into a false sense of security. Because again, you think, you know, somebody like you, you know, you find them attractive, right? Or funny, or both, or, you know, right. But then when you meet them in person, that chemistry has got to be there. And that isn't measurable over the zoom. True. So you get and so you're getting there. And you say you've talked about your goal, but also considering, you know, what, what is your tribe? And what is your play style? Like, and I know that this is a spectrum.

But for this sake of this conversation, we're going to go with two buckets. You know, there's, because we're, we're social sexy. We call ourselves social sexy. We're social first. We, we want to make friends. We want to make connections. And then if there's that chemistry and that connection, then it could lead to possible play. Right. The other camp is the DTF camp.

And again, nothing wrong wrong with that but if you're just down to hook up then you come in with a different mindset and well I think that if you have that mindset you're probably more focused on like physical appearance and and like somebody's like strong flirt game yeah you know just connecting that way instead of like taking the time to get to know their backgrounds and you know what their origin story is and you know blah right so if you are social sexy um you may be satisfied with a social connection before possibly moving on to play.

So on the flip side, if you're, if you're looking to hook up that night, you know, then you, I guess ahead of time, you've already had the conversation that if you've taken the time to invite somebody to dinner, I guess you pretty much already decided as a couple that that's a couple that you want to hook up with. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And obviously that can change during dinner, but that's your thought as a couple. Right. So somebody could pull the plug during dinner. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because like you were saying before, if it's based on attraction, that's one thing.

But if somebody is real attractive and then they can't put a sentence together, you might change your mind real quick. Right. So, I mean, so then what's going to happen during that dinner that's either going to seal the deal or kind of turn you off? Like, is it the topic of conversation? Like, if you're the one trying to reel the other couple in, like, are you the one responsible for, like, bringing sexy topics into the dinner conversation? I don't know that you're responsible for it, but you're probably going to be the one that for like bringing sexy topics into the dinner conversation?

I don't know that you're responsible for it, but you're probably going to be the one that brings it up first, that pushes the conversation in that direction. Right. Just naturally. Because to me, that's how you're going to know if the other couple's interested. Like, do they bite? You know, when you throw it out there, like, are they going to kind of pick up the topic and join in the sexy conversation? Right. So what if they don't?

Well, what I'm getting at, and it's sometimes I think what we do is like the guy will see, I'll pick on the guys, the guy will see a beautiful woman, and that's what he sees, a beautiful woman in a body. And so if I get signals that, like if I'm driving a conversation towards sexy and they or she are not going that direction, I may miss that signal because I am too focused on how damn sexy she looks in that dress. Yeah, that's true. And you've done that before. I think we've all done that before.

That's why I'm bringing this up because you're responsible for picking up on these things and there are things that get in the way of you really picking up the vibe that the other couple is sending your way. Right, because that's going to make, if you're not picking up the right vibe, it's going to, at some point, it's going to get awkward. Yeah. Yes, that's right. Yeah, so conversations typically are going to move to sexy much sooner, and if they don't, that should be some sort of a sign to slow your roll. Right.

And maybe, you know, just finish up dinner and, and then go to the disco and, and find somebody else to start having a conversation with. Right. So I guess the question is, is, are we making assumptions? Because, you know, I've heard especially newer people say, I was afraid to have a conversation with them because I was assuming that that meant they would think that I want to have sex with them. Yeah. And that's an assumption that's usually not correct. Right.

And, and if there is some sort of a, a train wreck in the making, it's probably because one or both of the couples is new and they're not reading the signals, right? Right. You know, they're, they're getting ahead of themselves or just misreading the whole situation. You're right. And there's also this idea that you have to realize not all of us have the same style and the goal and the same goals.

But when go to a resort again you walk through the front door you see a bunch of people and they and they're you see their physical being their attractiveness and what they're wearing you don't know just by looking at people what their play style is what they're interested in if it's their first time there if they're married um you know if if they're you know you don't know anything about their play style or their approach, but we count how many people they are and everybody is a target based on what we see. But not everyone there is going to be on the same page that you are. Right.

So the idea is how do you navigate through that and connect with the people that are your quote-unquote people or the kind of people that you're looking to meet yeah well i i mean the way you and i do it and again this is coming at it from the social sexy side is you know just getting in the pool in the afternoon and and talking to people and like seeing how long they'll have a conversation with you or are they going to excuse themselves and go to the bar to get another drink and then they kind of like navigate towards someone else and and that can happen naturally and that doesn't necessarily mean that they're not interested in you right but if they come back to you then you know they're interested you know right in you to some at some level right and then when you see couples playing i remember the after the first three or four do you remember the first three or four years we went to desire we always went at the same week and we would see the same people yeah and there was this i think they were a french couple and man they were having sex all the time and the first couple times i went there, I was assuming that they were in the lifestyle.

They were flirtatious, they having a lot of sex, but then I realized they were just, they had no idea who else was even at the resort. They were just focusing on the two of them. And so, you know, if you don't make an observation like that, then you might think, gosh, I'd want to meet that couple, you know, look at their sexy, they're having sex all the time. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're even interested in playing with other people. Right, right.

You can also make the assumption that if your styles are the same, that there is going to be play, you know, there's still more work to be done. Like if you're comfortable with another couple, you're picking up on the vibe, um, you're, you're social, they're social or vice versa. Um, there still might not be a connection strong enough to play. So that's an, that's a bad assumption that we can make too. That's true. Yeah. I mean, like the good thing is that the earlier you can figure this out, the, and this sounds cold hearted, but the less time you're wasting of your own and the other couple.

Correct. Not only that, but you're avoiding turning someone down or having them turn you down. Yes. Hurt feelings on either side. I think a lot of people ask us, how do we avoid the hurt feelings? Or how do you tell somebody you're not interested when you probably, possibly, I won't say probably, possibly missed earlier signs that indicated that they weren't interested to begin with. Right. But we keep trying and trying, because it's almost like throwing good money after bad. I mean, look, we took you to dinner. It's too late to go meet another couple.

I'm not picking up on any vibes here, but I'm going to keep pushing, even though I don't think it's going to happen. Because then you're wasting your time and their time, and then somebody's going to have to turn somebody down. Or worse, you're going to end up playing and having a bad time.

So the better a is at picking up on those certain indicators the sooner you know they can move along and move to the next couple that's the great thing about being at a resort for numerous days there's plenty of other people right around that you can meet and i think that happens when there's like an imbalance between like you think she's hot and i think he's all right right you know or or vice versa right you know so i think that sometimes you want to push the envelope on something like you know she'll come around yeah like she'll eventually you know she'll get to know him and think he's funny or whatever and it'll be all right right and then i'll be like babe it's not gonna happen right well i picked on the guys earlier i can pick on the girls too because a lot of times you've done this and i know some other ladies have said that they're they've done this they don't want to be with the couple but then they feel bad about it right so they're really nice to them and that comes across as being flirty and the other couple gets mixed messages yeah i'm bad about that right so there has to be some sort of a way to move along.

Right, right. And if you think about it, if you're not going to end up being compatible and playing, I'm saying that I think both couples want to know that sooner rather than later. Absolutely. Both couples do. Yeah.

so even when you get turned down it hurts a little bit but you should be happy that finally somebody said something about this isn't going to work out right yeah and then you can kind of let it go and regroup right you know that the other fatal mistake that people make is it's the last day i know because you know you you had a goal that you came to the resort with or the event with and you're trying to accomplish that goal I don I know.

sometimes you both end up playing even though you didn't really want to because it was the last day yeah you know what do they say que sera sera live and learn yeah and i mean you say that flippantly but yeah you do you don't want to let time running out be the deciding factor correct but it's that pressure yeah so right right then you're putting yourself back into the category of this is a club or a house party because you know those events are only a few hours long and so on the last day you're more susceptible to trying to get something taken care of before you have to get start packing and get on that plane yeah i mean actually this whole last day thing just kind of uh came up a couple days ago it did it did was i there um yes you were okay and you you were a very hopeful participant but we we had connected with a couple and had a great time getting to know them the whole week long and we we kind of put it out there and they weren't ready or at least they said they weren't ready maybe that was their their way of turning us down nicely but for whatever reason it didn't happen and it was the last day and I was actually really impressed yeah but with the way they handled it remember when we were when we invited them back we said first of all there is no expectations yes and second of all you're free to get up and leave anytime you want to no matter what is or is not going on right and I was impressed by the fact that they got up and chatted as a couple and they came back and they were really sincere and they kind of patted themselves on the back for coming over to the room to begin with because they were both really nervous about that um and good for them i mean i have so much respect you know for for them for being honest with each other and then honest with us.

Yeah. I, I totally agree. And hopefully the next time we run into him, it won't be the last day. I won't let them, I won't let her slip through my, my clutches a second time. All right. Well, I feel the same way about him. So there, I think there was equal attraction there. That was not the problem.

Um, but, but again, like that, it it that would have been easy for them to say what the heck you know right we're only going to be here 12 more hours let's just go for it and they didn't they were smart about it and actually although i was slightly disappointed i was impressed and and you know a little proud yeah and there's one more cause of of things not being discovered early and that is that and we've run into this before too not usually with you and i but one of the other two of the other couple is not communicating with his or her partner so like they're driving towards the goal line and the partner is like what are you talking, you know, we need to cut the cord on this.

So sometimes there's a lack of communication between the, those two. So I guess we should try to give ideas for how to cut the cord. Okay. Um, so like I'm trying to do like now, okay, let's wrap up this conversation. Let's move on. Uh, you know, sometimes it's, yeah, it's been nice chatting with you. Um, really nice to meet you.

You know, those kinds of things, you know, how, when you're listening to a phone call and you can tell somebody is about to hang up, you know, it's, it's kind of that kind of, kind of a conversation where, uh, usually the person on the other end of the phone senses it and they were going, Oh yeah, I need to let you go, you know, and there's a realization and you both let each other go. So there's that wrapping up the conversation technique that I think we use in everyday life that you can use. Uh, short answers to questions, you know, just yes and no.

And, you know, I've, okay, I've lost interest. I'm going to answer your question, but I'm not going to ask you anything back. I'm not going to prolong the conversation. Right. And then flat out making other plans, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. We've done that before. Yeah, we have.

But the fadeaway, that is, we're we're experts at that i think and i and i don't know how proud i am of that but well but that tends to be my method i think that's the most common method in the lifestyle because most people do pick up on the vibe and there does not have to be a verbal uh turndown or end to it it might It might be you just kind of go your own way and fade into the darkness and then it's done and you never really bring it up again. So there's the fade away.

And then lastly, I think we can't avoid saying that sometimes you have to use your words and just say, look, thanks, but we just really aren't interested in taking things further tonight or whatever your line is. And again, just because you're turning somebody down tonight, doesn't mean you're going to turn them down forever. There, there could just be like, one of you could be over-served. One of you could have a headache.

One of you, like, you know, you're, you don't feel good or you're just flat out tired or or maybe you guys the the couple like had a little bit of conflict during the day you know so maybe it isn't that you don't ever want to play with them but just not tonight yeah and and that really needs to be clearly expressed so that you don't blow them off permanently and then unless they're like jim carrey what was it was it pet detective where he made a pass at this woman and he she just shot him down over and over again and then when she got finished he says so you're staying there's still a chance so you know so if you say not interested in taking things further tonight you are leaving it a little bit open-ended right and maybe that's your intention and maybe it's not but it is a little bit open-ended okay the last thing i think we need to talk about to me is the trickiest because this is a multi-day event, whether you're at an event or a resort or wherever.

If you're there multiple days with people, let's say you do play. Okay, well, there's a morning after. Now, what are you going to do? You know, and it could go one of, well, one of three ways you could be like oh my god when can we like play with them again that was the funnest thing ever and then there could be uh you know one of you could say that in the other one yeah yeah and you have some processing to do um it wasn't necessarily a bad experience but it's an experience that like maybe brought stuff up that you have to debrief on and process. And usually that takes me a while.

I'm a slow processor. And then it could be like, oh, boy, we're not going to do that again. And then you have to figure out how to handle running into them the rest of the week. I don't know. I think it's pretty simple. Our methodology is Groundhog Day. When you get up in the morning, it's a fresh start. It's a new day. You get up, go to breakfast, have your coffee. You see them sitting at a table a few tables away. You get up on your way out. You stop and say, good, had a great time last night, we're headed to the pool, and you just go about your day.

Yeah, I tend to try to treat people pretty much the same. I don't think we've ever had anything horrific happen at an event like this, like we're speaking of, where you really would need to avoid them. We've had some lackluster experiences where it would be a hard no to play again. No, usually you're mad at me, not the other couple. Yeah, there's that too. But I still have breakfast with you. I'll still fuck you again. Okay. But because we've had the, I guess, the luxury of not having any horrific experiences, I can kind of treat everybody the same.

If I had a great time, I really don't want to, like, you know, hop on their lap when they're trying to eat their omelet, you know.

And if it was a lackluster experience, there's really no point in, like, addressing it in the middle of a restaurant or the middle of a pool or wherever you run into them well and you know you can always say hey if they approach you you know hey you know what we've we've got dinner reservations with another couple today or we've you know we're gonna hang out at the beach today we're gonna you know any any kind of response other than we'd love to spend more time with you um and i think people normally would pick up on the message that it's time to move on yeah I mean unless you come out and say man we'd really like to like try that again before yeah we all have to fly home now we have done that yeah we have matter of fact we've had we've been sitting on the beach beds an hour before our less than an hour before our transportation arrived it was 25 minutes and ran back to the room real quick for another quickie and we took a shower and we took a shower and got to the lobby on time yes that was a lot of fun and we laughed the whole time yeah we did that was the best yeah yeah so but yeah i think that i think the whole non-committal you know warm and friendly greeting kind of like is a is a maybe like a reset button right like okay well now we need to start over again you know me and maybe you do want to play again but maybe maybe not like right that hot minute you know um so just just be your sexy friendly self yeah and if there's disappointment you know look you know the lifestyle i've said this before the lifestyle is an adult activity if something didn't go the way that you wanted it to go or if you you like if somebody doesn't want to be with you, sometimes you just have to suck it up and say, okay, you know what?

I get it. We're going to move on. It stung a little bit, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. Live and learn. Because I don't think people do, they don't do this intentionally. It's just that a lot of people don't have the experience and they don't want to hurt your feelings. They don't want hurt feelings. And so I think if we're guilty of anything, it's letting it go on too long before trying to make a disconnect at some point in time. You know, we had a, we had an awkward experience once a few years ago. I think, you know, it was a desire. I can't remember what year it was.

Um, COVID kind of makes everything blur, I swear, but we, we hung out with them all week. I mean, everybody was friendly. Um, and, and we were having fun together and this didn't even happen like in the bedroom.

we had a we had some sort of a disconnect happen in the hot tub like after the disco and it was because I was tired and you were not and um yeah it ended up it ended up being a very unbalanced evening um which was nobody's fault but I ended up getting mad at you and um the thing that kind of like changed everything is that the husband noticed that i was not like engaged whatsoever and he talked to me about it and asked me if i was okay and i'm like yeah i'm okay it's just like my husband and i are not on the same page right now. And it's nobody's fault.

We're just, he and I just need to obviously have a conversation. And, um, the next day, the four of us ended up having a really incredible conversation, like a really frank conversation about how each of us felt. And it didn't lead to play that trip, but it cemented a friendship that has like really sustained itself over the years, you know? So just because you're, you're on different pages and you're kind of like dancing around an issue, um, you know, sometimes you just have to work it through as a couple. Yeah. And I, and I would say that there's a few reasons why that happened.

First of all, I think both couples are social, sexy couples, right? You know, we weren't in it. If it were just for the sex and the sex didn't happen, there would be very little reason for us to reconcile the next day because the sex is not going to happen the next day either. Right. Right.

And the other thing I think you all have to do as a couple is decide whether or not the couple that you are approaching or approached or had dinner with are that you believe the relationship and the connection is worthy of the expenditure of your emotional energy necessary to try to sustain the friendship and the relationship and in the case that you're talking about um the other gentleman first of all took the time to connect with you right so there was some sort of a desire to make it right he felt bad but we've all felt bad and let things go he didn't let it go right i mean the easy thing would have been for us to just all go to bed and then just kind of like go our own ways the rest of the week what i'm saying is that especially you and he after the after the second day when we sat and talked with them you believed even though the first night went badly or could have been worse i could have been better sorry the time that he took to speak with you and then she spoke with you as well that that was an indication that they were and they wanted to invest in the friendship and you decided you wanted to invest in the friendship too and so did I and so that is a story about something that was a you know kind of a bad not a bad it wasn't an optimal situation to begin with and it would have been very easy for the four of us to say, Hey, nice try.

Nice meeting you. There's no connection. There's no connection. We're going to move on. But we did the four of us didn't do that. And then we ended up becoming really good friends. Yeah. So it's, so there's a lot of nuance in all of this, I guess is what we're saying. And you all have to decide as a couple, what is your approach? What are you looking for? You know, looking for the signs that either somebody is connecting with you or doesn't want to connect with you, making a decision to cut the cord or go for it. And then, you know, learning how to deal with whatever the outcome is.

Either you played and you enjoyed it, or you played and you didn't enjoy it, or you didn't play, there's still an after, there's still one more step to that. They're still communicating the next day, you know, no matter which one of those three things happened. So this is, navigating this is, there's no, would you say, blueprint for this? No. And, and, you know, like I said at the beginning, like it's not black and white. It's a spectrum of how you're approaching this, you know? Yeah. You and I are definitely on the social sexy side.

Um, but like I said, you know, you, I, I meet the right person and I get horny enough. And, and sometimes I just need to seal that deal. Yeah. You know, that doesn't happen very often, but it, but that's, that's chemistry. It's very unpredictable. Yes. And we still wish people the best. You know, if you don't connect with us or we don't connect with you, that doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

No, it means there's somebody else out there for you and you get out there and a bunch of people out there that's right and it's not a large enough sample size to just throw in the towel and say there's no nobody you know the fun people don't come to desire anymore or there's no more you know this there's none of this or none of that you know people kind of just get a little frustrated and but you know i don't think that it's more to it than that, than just that. And you have to decide if you want to invest the time in it. Yep.

Well, when we come back, we're going to do some snapshots and then wrap up whatever episode this is. 108.

Welcome back to snapshots yes we have snapshots we do we're on we're on our way back i know like i have more than one snapshot back in the game i can have more than one sexy snapshot like when's the last time i said that i don't know probably last time we went to desire okay well you go first well first of all i want to like do a funny snapshot or i want to give a huge shout out to the playmakers that were there last week like they did such a good job of engaging us yeah i'm like i hate getting up there and playing the games and i got up there and played a couple games um this time but um there's one playmaker named coffee and he has just the right attitude and a ridiculous amount of energy and he's gorgeous right you just can't go wrong and he and another playmaker named chocolate were doing a game one day and they were putting couples together.

And the couples were supposed to do like lap dances for each other. Like the woman was supposed to sit in a chair and the guy was supposed to like crawl on the ground towards her and be all sexy and everything.

And then they would switch and it got to the end and it was it was friends of ours up there and um the the wife needed a little moral support and one of our other girlfriends got up there and and decided they were going to do a threesome so it was the husband and wife and then another lady friend that she was friends with that couple and so I think the husband's feeling a little overwhelmed like he had he truly had his hands full with these two ladies and they put the sexy music on and and he unbeknownst to everybody else had gotten some brotherly love together and all of these guys just jumped out of the pool and they all started like make it over all of these two ladies and everything.

And was just hilarious like the brotherhood got together to like go do sexy strip tees for and play with these girls and it was just like the best good clean fun and the playmakers they lost a little bit of control but it was all good yeah they didn't cross they didn't quite cross the line no no but oh my gosh we we just had so much fun with all those silly games all week yeah so that's my fun snapshot okay so then speaking of games we did a game up in the hot tub one afternoon before dinner and it was um kind of like the ping pong ball game only one of our friends brought rubber duckies.

Yeah, about a thousand of them.

No, I think it was like 120, but they truly brought 120 rubber duckies and they had written something different on all of them and brought them all the way to the Dominican Republic and he put them in the hot tub and you have such an attitude when it comes to games like lordy yeah like you didn't have enough tequila that day although you you participated you did a good job so i got this one and like i like playing the games well enough so i got this one um duck and i was supposed to go up to somebody and like nibble their earlobes and this is somebody it was a guy that i chose I'll see you next time.

and I was supposed to go up to somebody and like nibble their earlobes and this is somebody it was a guy that I chose and I've known him for a while like he's been in our community for like a couple years at least I think and and we've gotten to meet them in person before but we haven't really been able to hang out with them a lot until this week and um and we kind of, we hung out a lot and just kind of joked around as friends and stuff. Well, speaking of chemistry, when I went to nibble his earlobe, I swear there was like this bolt of energy between the two of us.

Like that's all I was doing was like kissing and like suck it on his earlobe. And it was the hottest experience. Like my heart was racing and I was like stupid horny. Like I could have just drug him out of the pool and thrown him on a bed. It was crazy. Did you tell him that? Yeah, I did. Well, good. I'm glad it wasn't wasted. It was just, it was not that I'm not attracted to him, but it was just going to be good, clean fun, right? Like a little nibble on an earlobe. And then I was like, holy smokes, this is hot. Like, I just love it when that kind of stuff happens. Yeah. That's cool.

I hadn't heard that story. Oh, I hadn't told you that? No you that no oops you don't know who i'm talking about do you no i don't oh i love it i think he knows who i'm talking about you were pretty active in the pool so it could have been one of many guys oh i was just a good hostess yeah right well that's cool. Mine was, it happened at the Grammy chase. And like I said, we have a, we had a large room and we have the swim up pool in the back. So we invited two of two couples over that were really good friends with and suspected that there was going to be an opportunity to play.

And, uh, so, so you'd walk out our back, uh, patio and that you go that you write into the swim up pool, which is an infinity pool.

And so I got in with, and this lady friend came over to the opposite wall of the pool with me and the four of you stayed on the other side of the pool and up on the edge I think or were you all in the water I was in the water with one of the husbands at the beginning and then right when we wanted to do a little bit more and right we didn't want to drown right we got up on the patio and the whole thing kind of caught me off guard a little bit because i had not prepared i had not taken a shot so i was not going to have an erection um and i thought that we would probably stay out in the pool for a while and then we would move back inside and if we were going to play i could take a shot then because i don't have to wait very long well then things started getting hot and heavy between she and I and between the four of you you and the other lady and the two other gentlemen and I could hear behind me that things were getting steamy and I recognized some of the noises that you were making but my partner and i we made out a lot but we did a lot of like sensual like dirty talking with each other which i'm not really good at but she is yeah well what it what it was like is because i wasn't able to do anything i started saying if i could if i was able to this is what i'd be doing to you and so we kind of did some back and forth and then the next thing i know i heard our other lady friend who was behind me now laying up on the patio start to make some really loud noises that i'm sure all of our neighbors uh you know, heard.

So I turned around at that point in time. She's louder than me. And you, you ladies were both on your backs at that point in time. You know, the gentleman was going down on you and the other gentleman was going down on her. And it was kind of fun because like her head was facing one way and my head was facing the other way.

So she and I could each other yeah so it was that point in time where I realized we probably weren't going to go inside we were probably just gonna finish doing whatever we were doing out there and so anyway my partner and I continued to make out and continued to I mean it got pretty hot and heavy but but I think we teased each other to the point that we were saying the next time you know this It's a good thing. it got pretty hot and heavy.

Um, but, but I think, uh, we teased each other to the point that we were saying the next time, you know, this is, this is what I would like to do, or in the future, this is what I would be doing to you right now. And I didn't, uh, I never had an orgasm. I don't think she did either, but we had the sexy conversation that we had, um, background, you know, you guys were killing it. Well, the guy I was with, like, they're one of the couples that we passed out rain checks to like a year ago. Yeah. So, yeah. You were cashing in? Yeah. No, he was cashing in. He was cashing in.

Yeah, he was cashing in one of the rain checks. Yeah. Yeah, I still have like a dozen to go. Yeah. But at least I made some progress now. Yeah. Yeah. No, he was cashing in one of the rain checks. Yeah. Yeah. I still have like a dozen to go, but at least I made some progress now. Yeah. So, so that was one of those nights that even though we kind of suspected that when we went back to the room, I think we all suspected there was going to be some sort of play. It didn't go according to a script.

It just kind of happened and it was really first of all it's really sexy but then afterwards the six of us just were such good friends it was so much fun just to talk afterwards because there was no feelings that got hurt there was no awkward awkwardness in the play everybody had a good time and you know we all know each other so it was it was a it was a good after party as well you know what i always find a little interesting like i knew the other two couples knew each other because we've been you know at events together yeah yeah before multiple times but like i didn't know if they had played together before right because it's none of my business well i didn't either you know so it's fun to watch like how things work between those two couples because i don't know like i know right i know how things work between because we had played with both couples before right um so that i've always find that really interesting yeah one more it seemed like they liked each other i think they did yeah well i know the guys liked each other because oh my gosh because the next day they were making googly eyes at each other in the lawn chairs oh my gosh chairs trying to make me jealous it was so funny like this is one of those things that i we can't described.

y'all gonna think it's stupid but oh my gosh they were in two lounge chairs next to each other just having a conversation but it was their body posture oh yeah like there was some boy flirting going on there and then as soon as i get in the water you ladies had to point it out to me i think you got a little jealous well i know, I know I don't get jealous of my wife, but come on, man, my bro friends. There was almost a bro code that was broken because I looked up at them and they were just giggling and laughing and talking to each other. And so I got out and kind of put a stop to it.

Oh, that was hilarious. Yeah. So anyway, hopefully this will help navigate some of these awkward experiences or opportunities at lifestyle resorts or vacations I know it was helpful for us so like I said we'll be back in a couple of weeks we're going to put out this bonus episode pretty quickly and we also have a couple of origin stories lined up that we're going to record probably two within the next month that we'll be putting out again soon. You guys gave us a lot of good feedback on the first one that we did. So we'd love to have you join our community.

Like I said, we've got a new Desire promo code for community members. we'd love for you to join us. You can find information on our website, which is wegotathing.com. You can send me an email at mrjones at wegotathing.com. Me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. Don't forget, since we're talking about resorts, as we mentioned earlier, you can not only book all um all of your desire original resorts vacations but we also have uh trial memberships to cassidy and sdc yes and you can follow us on twitter at we got a thing we are mr and mrs jones and we got a thing. What's your thing?

We'll see you next time.