Finding lifestely events and then choosing which event is the best fit for your approach to the lifestyle can be difficult and often confusing. Listen in as we chat with event host Cate from Libertine Events and the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. We'll share insights and answer questions from couples exploring the lifestyle and facing the same challenges.
Transcript
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us?
hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 104 of the we got a thing podcast episode 104 choosing lifestyle events with kate from the wanderlust swingers and pcap fame yes and we have not worked with kate in a while It was good to collaborate again Yeah, too bad it was like across the pond I know You know, we had to do it via Zoom versus in person But we'll get to see her this year A couple times, yeah That's right So, Happy New Year Yeah, oh, that. 2023. You know what that is? That's 10 years since we found the lifestyle. Well, almost, yeah.
Yeah, we found it at the end of 2013. Right. But, dang. And here we are. We're still standing. We're still kicking. I know. Still having a good time.
A few announcements before we get started um i wish we could invite you all to all the events we have planned in 2023 but unfortunately they're all sold out yeah i'm telling you people are getting out and about these days so our desire uh trip in november our grammy chase trip in june our washington dc event in may and of course the pcap event in october are all sold out yep but um you can still book your desire trip through our website and get a nice discount that's right um so the promo codes for desire pearl is DP that's DP for DesirePearl is DP. That's DP for DesirePearl. Ha ha.
DP2023, and then a promo code for GrandMeeChase is G-R-A-N-D-2-2 for a discount to GrandMeeChase. Yeah, I mean, you might as well get 10% off. Yeah. I mean, we have waiting lists for both or all those events, so if you're interested in a waiting list, you can send me an email. And I mean, honestly, the waiting lists do get used because people do have to cancel. Yeah. Real life does get in the way. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll definitely have some cancellations. So you can get on the waiting list and just go to our website and attempt to book.
And when it says it's full, just click on the button that says get on the wait list. Yep. And that'll help when people start to cancel later this year. So that's, oh, there's some other big news we need to share. What? If you are listening to this on or after February the 6th, 2023, Andth 2023 we have gone live with a brand new we got a thing community platform yes mr jones has been working for a living i'm telling you working my tail off i was afraid this was going to happen because the the current uh platform that we've been using for four years really was never designed to last this long.
And The current platform that we've been using for four years really was never designed to last this long. And we've been actually talking about finding a better platform for the past two years. We just haven't found one until now. Yes. So the community platforms have really improved in the past few months. And we think we have a good one. So we're building it out right now, today. And then we're going to migrate, hopefully for the last time.
I think this platform, first of all, some of the feedback that we got from people who either didn't join or didn't stay in our community was that it was really difficult. It was a difficult workflow process to get signed up. It was. There was a lot of steps involved in it. There was some back and forth with me to get people approved and get in.
And setting up profiles was a difficult and not very intuitive on the platform so a lot of people quit before they even got started and then the other feedback that we used to get is that it's a bit overwhelming because it seemed like all of the chatting was happening in one particular place and that's because when we started the community there were two dozen people you know and then there were 50 and then there were 100 and then there were 200 and and that was manageable in one chat right um you know now we have a pretty large group of people and right you can't all have a voice in one right chat yeah we're in the thousands now um but this new platform um is very it allows us to be very diversified so we have about 40 different sub-communities within our community and they're broken down by things of what what you're interested in and who you are and where you live there's regional groups and so so there's still have our ladies groups and our men's groups and health and wellness groups and you know so we kind of cover all the bases yeah and it's just um it's just more um i don't know it's designed more we're we're becoming uh a large community full of small communities you know it there's a whole lot of of sub communities sort of-communities thriving in the community at large.
Right. And when you get in those smaller groups, you feel like you have a voice instead of just being, you know, somebody that posts something and, you know, 30 seconds later, it's been buried because other people have posted as well. So, for example example if you're more polyamorous there's a poly group if you're um stag vixen or hot wife there's a group bdsm there's a group newbies mature group so there's types of chat the perv chat yeah that's one of our more popular i was just gonna say there's never a dull moment in that one yeah the perv chat um yeah so That's one of our more popular.
I was just going to say. There's never a dull moment in that one. Yeah, the perv chat. Yeah, so there's a lot going on. We're going to be able to have a lot of information in the community. There's a place for a bulletin board and a lot of announcements. It's going to be easier for us to communicate out. We can live stream. We can host our Zoom meetings from within the platform. So it's really going to save you and I a lot of time. But more importantly, it's easy to join. It's easy to navigate. And there's a whole lot of options that people have when they come in.
So we're really excited about it. What I like about it is that when I'm on my phone and I go into the platform and all the groups that I've joined or the spaces, you know, that all of these little like subgroups, like they're all right there on the left hand side of my phone. Yeah. So I don't have to remember, oh, you touch this button and then you go here and then you touch something at the bottom and then you touch the icon and, you know, it was just kind of crazy before. And now they're all like right in front of me and I can just touch them. Yes. And then I can see what's going on. Right.
So if you've been with us in the past and you left because you're frustrated, it's a good time to come back. Yeah. I think you'll like what you see. We're excited about it. And this will be the last time we do this, I promise. Yeah. One migration because this will scale up with us, hopefully. Yeah. And you've got a plan to get everybody to come over, right? Yes. I would say without losing your hair, having your hair turn gray, but I won't say that. Let's just move on. Enough of that. So keeping up with the Joneses.
Yeah, we just went, we did something that we've never done before at Christmastime. We ditched our family. Yep. And we went on a cruise. We went on a cruise, just the two of us. Yeah. And we were very, very fortunate because the Southwest Airlines debacle. Oh, my gosh. Happened the day that, it started the day that we left, but our flight was on time. And then it ended the day before we came home. I know.
Like we were, we were like on the ship looking at the news every morning and we were like uh-oh like what are we gonna do we had proactively rented a car yeah i actually found a car rental from fort lauderdale back up to the dc area um and i it was very affordable and it was like cancel at the last minute if you want. Yeah. Like we're like, okay, well, this is a no brainer. So we had that in our back pocket that we could have driven home. Yeah. And the weather was stupid. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was 70, it was almost 80 degrees the day we got to Fort Lauderdale. It was beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.
And then that was a Friday. Then the cruise left on a Saturday. And by Saturday afternoon, it was really starting to cool down. Yep. Then we woke up the next morning in Key West, Florida. It was Christmas Eve in Key West, Florida. And it was 58 degrees and windy. Like super windy. Key West. Cold wind. Key West doesn't even know what wind chill is. The polar vortex knows where Key West is. It found Key West. We know Key West fairly well. We've been there a few times. So we got off and went to one of our favorite bars down there, Hog's Breath Inn.
And they had just opened, and the poor bartender, he had two long-sleeved T-shirts on. And I said, I suppose you don't own any coats down here. He said, no, we just have to wear two or three t-shirts yeah he said we just do extra layers when we're cold he was working outside too and it was so windy oh my gosh but we had a good time we we um went over to sloppy joe's like everybody else and then yeah got us some key lime pie. Yep. Watched the roosters. And we thought it was going to get, we were on a celebrity cruise. And we did meet a lot of people. Yeah, we did. Yeah.
And even though when somebody said, are you going on a lifestyle cruise?
And, you know, we've only been on one and it was Desire Cruise few years ago but we just enjoy socializing we we're very we're so much better at socializing now than we were 10 years ago when we first got into this yeah it got warm about day three or day four finally finally warmed up a little bit it was chilly it kept raining i know the weather stunk but the cruise was nice we loved the ship and we met a lot of people and most of all the stress of christmas we left behind right and we were just able to relax that's right we did christmas early like we didn't like ditch our family no we just moved christmas up a week yeah so actually it was nice because it was done I I had I was under a lot of pressure to get ready but then it was done and then we just got to pack for our vacation and leave right and then the only other thing that well we we went to Charleston South Carolina was that two weeks ago already yeah yeah we um I I ran the Charleston, South Carolina Half Marathon with a friend.
Yeah, and it was supposed to be warm. We were sold a bill of goods. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're lifestyle friends. They're really good friends. And there were six of us we met down there. And they said, yeah, just come to South Carolina in January.
it's going to be warm down here yeah we'll be we'll lay out at the pool yeah and drink cocktails and you go run your race and your short sleeve shirts and your shorts and sunglasses and yeah but it was 40 something 40 something degrees in a 20 mile an hour wind for seven miles straight i know yeah it didn't rain, but it was 40-something degrees in a 20-mile-an-hour wind for seven miles straight. I know. Yeah, it didn't rain, but it was cold and windy. But I felt good. I mean, I didn't feel good during the race.
I'm happy that I ran because this is the first half that I have run since my surgery last April. So I felt good about that. It was a lot of fun. And we got to tease our friends all weekend for the cold weather. That's right. But, yeah, we definitely had fun. Went to breweries. We had an amazing dinner out. We had an amazing dinner in. Our friend cooked dinner for us. Quite the chef. Yeah, it was good. Sexy Annie can cook. Man, it just doesn't get much better than that. Yeah, Annie plays the drums. Yeah. So what are we going to talk about with Kate?
Well, I think the thing, you know, we're talking about our events and how our events are sold out now. And we really, I mean, it'd be nice if we could do events every month, but we can't. so then you have to find like other things and you need to find things that kind of fit your personality fit your calendar fit your budget and you know kind of fit what you're looking for because some events are more social events some are more educational events some are more. Yeah, some are parties, some are vacations, you know. So you have to kind of find what you're looking for.
So we really kind of talked about events and what value they offer. Right. You know, because price is only part of what you have to consider when you're looking at events. Right. And lifestyle events are so diverse. They're so different. And some of them are, you just never know what you're going to get. They're hit and miss. Yeah. Since we host so many events, as does Kate, we get a lot of feedback. We get a lot of questions.
We get a lot of complaints about prices and locations and frequency and they can't make it and and then we did a survey um and got and did a good poll of people um you know that attend events and what they like what they look for and what they don't like so we took that list and between the three of us we kind of stepped through each thing and talked a little bit about what it means what these things mean for us right hope you enjoy the podcast well welcome to episode 104 we as we mentioned we're here with Kate Kate, formerly of Swinging Down Under and now Wanderlust Swingers podcast.
In my heart, it'll always still be Swinging Down Under. I know. Like, I can't let that go. Thank you, because that's still the domain that we have because I'm too lazy to clone and replicate. So I've bought Wanderlust Swingers and I just have it permanently redirected to swingingdownunder.com. Yeah, I noticed that when I was sending you your email. So the backstory on this episode is that it kind of came about as the three of us were planning events for 2023 and beyond. And we talked a lot about PCAP and we're excited that we're going to be able to travel to Miami next year for that. And Mrs.
Jones and I are hosting a lot of events. And so we were talking with Kate about collaboration and some of the same issues and struggles that we were working through as event hosts. And then we thought, you know what, we should actually, I'm going to give Kate credit for this because Kate said, you know, we should really podcast about this episode, about everything that we're learning as we're doing that. So we decided that we're excited to collaborate. And I'm just going to I'll touch on that as we get into this this topic a little bit more.
But did you have anything that you wanted to add to that intro? I think, too, it's not just about being event hosts.
i mean i i think that we all started our journey exploring a lot as as individuals but as couples as well and so we've been to so many different kinds of events around the world and you know now as event hosts i think that we we see both sides of the coin a little bit and you know sometimes that's good and sometimes that's really really bad by the way and so it is a unique perspective and I think we're always trying to do our best with making the events unique and making sure that our attendees are getting what they desire from the event and so I think that that strive to constantly evaluate yourself comes with this deep introspective of like oh am I actually putting on an event that I would have wanted to go to four or five six years ago that I would have deemed valuable so I think it's an interesting journey for us now as as hosts uh looking back on whether we would have even attended our own events well that's true well you know and it's interesting that we're you know years later we're we're doing this topic together because like our first big event that we hosted was with you i know dp 2017 that's right 2017 oh my gosh that was a long time ago you guys are getting old and you've probably lived in about a half a dozen countries since then yeah but i like the um you know the thing that you we were talking about, Kate, is, you know, how do you make these decisions?
What events would you want to try to attend? And what do you what do other people see as valuable? And you had showed us an illustration of an iceberg. And we've all seen this in business before. You know, you see what's above the waterline, but then there's a whole lot underneath the waterline that we're learning about that are also important for when we host these events. Yeah, exactly. And I think when we look at attending events, you know, there are some resources that are finite.
You know, you don't have, I mean, all this time in the world and you have limited resources in terms of time and money and away from family and everything else so we talk about this iceberg method really it's how do you make a decision on which event with these finite resources to attend and for me it's about the the surface area of the event I'm going to get my kind of my top three things out of the way which is where is it located you know is it easy to travel to can i get there is it in my hometown is it on the other side of the world when is it you know if you are in a certain job or type of role where you can only get certain times of the year off that's going to determine whether you can go or not so location date and time how long is it and then really price those are the three I think initial barriers at the top of the iceberg that I think we all come to and then for me I start to dig a little bit deeper and that's kind of where I started to talk to you guys about well what is that deeper part of the iceberg that we don't see that we either subconsciously or consciously decide which event to go to and what do those look like for you for me and for maybe the attendees coming to both of our events?
Right. And so what we did, what we decided to do was throw out a survey or ask for some feedback from those in our community that have been to our events, or not just our events, but have been to lifestyle events in general. And, of course, they did a very good job of giving us a list of things to consider or that they consider when it comes to going through to an event. And, you know, I'm going to put the cost at the top of this because it always seems to be one of the first things that people mention. And, Kate, we talked about perceptions about cost and value and things like that.
So I'm just interested when somebody mentions cost to you or questions cost, what sort of thoughts come to your mind as you're from the event host side as trying to how do you approach costing? Generally, it's two ways. First, I think, is the easiest way is can you afford it? Is it in with your price range? You know, there's certain things that I can't do. For example, when I'm even running my events, I don't fly business class. And I can tell you why it's because for me, flying business class isn't worth the costs associated with it. I'll fly economy. I'm quite comfortable there.
Whether that changes in a few years, I don't know.
And so, you know, that value perception that value perception I think is a big part of it and if you can't afford it or if the price range is out of your price range or for that matter under your price range to kind of flip that on its head as well that's the first I guess barrier the first topic the second is that I think there's a lot of misunderstanding out there about costs of events you know there is a very different cost of event if you're going to say a one-night club visit versus perhaps a seven five night a seven night full-time lifestyle resort a cruise something that's been put together with a seminar host so the second part of that is more operational and that's where I do try to educate people around well look it's not just that there's a dollar sign attached to this.
Here's where that dollar sign comes from. And it comes from having 24-hour security guards on site and these kinds of things to really help people understand where that cost has actually been driven from. So it's that value perception, yes, and if you can afford it or not. But then it's digging a little bit deeper as I try to just educate people on sometimes how people get to that point. And I think we're just used to seeing that bottom line on that event price and making a decision based on that.
And, you know, we've we've podcasted before about how we look at opportunities to get away as investments in our relationship.
And so if you're if if people are just comparing dollars uh you know to what they have in their bank account you know that that's only one aspect of the cost because not only first of all there's more than the cost of the event because you've got transportation and food and everything else that comes along with this so So these events can be kind of expensive, but you know, somebody made the comment and I'm interested to get you ladies thought on this because I'll get in trouble when I say my answer, but somebody said the price is sometimes a natural filter.
And I'm wondering what your thoughts are on that i might let mrs jones go first just because i've been doing so much of the talking so far and then i'll dig in because i definitely have thoughts on that matter well it is a natural filter um you and i try to keep it in the middle um as far as how we we like select our venues for our events um i'm just'm just going to have to say you, you really do get what you pay for.
Um, we try to choose hotels in a nice part of town, um, that are, are nice hotels, but not necessarily five-star hotels because that does create a, you know, a barrier to a lot of people. But we want it to be, you know, in a safe part of town where it's convenient to find, you know, food options and, you know, entertainment options, a good safe walking area. So, and then we build things in on top of just like the hotel cost, you know, as far as like you were mentioning earlier, Kate, you know, we offer seminars and we offer sometimes meals with our our events. So it is a barrier.
But again, it's the the value of what you're looking for. You know, are you just looking for a hotel to go hook up with people? Are you looking for a weekend experience? Yeah. And I mean, I do agree with the fact that it is a filter. And I think, again, that can work both ways. You know, it can be a filter for some people who do want maybe a more economical experience that is, you know, shorter in nature, maybe doesn't have all the frills and bells and whistles.
And then and then but again the flip side of that is it's also a filter the other way around too we have friends who will actively choose to go only to those five-star hotels that you were just referencing you know that that's what they desire that's what their interest levels are and so they will actively seek that you know so there are filters definitely in either direction you know what i want to say that this is just a filter for things being too expensive sometimes for some people things aren't expensive enough depending again on what kind of level of interaction frills and hotels and everything else from an event perspective as well price is a barrier for me oftentimes with these hotel takeovers as well there's a minimum food and beverage requirement.
And some of them are insane. If I can share with you, there was a hotel in Dallas and we wanted to go back there and they increased their food and beverage minimum by 45%. It was going to be $50,000 for 76 people over a weekend. Like that is an insane amount of money to spend.
And so for me, that was definitely a filter I immediately filtered that hotel out of there right that that makes the decision really easy yeah no right because for me that then just put the price point too high so I think it is definitely a filter and it can make sure that I guess people are finding other people that relate to them as well and I know that we try to say we shouldn't segregate the community and so sometimes when people look at this sort of thing it can be seen as quite judgmental it can be seen as a bit elitist but at the end of the day i think there needs to be various events for various kinds of people and what they want to get out of it so whilst one might be doing one thing you're probably going to find another event that's going to suit your requirements well and that's exactly right i mean you know sometimes it's fun to go to a dive bar and yeah you know and and like be a little bit afraid to to sit down or you know touch the table or whatever i mean those are good times you have fun there um do i want to do that all the time?
No. Do I want to get, you know, dressed up in my fancy clothes every time I go out? No. You know, just having that, that choice of the spectrum of, you know, economical, laid back, you know, somewhat unstructured events, and then to have, you know, the middle ground, and then, you know, that upper echelon every once in a while, that can be a splurge. And for some people, it might be a big sacrifice where you have to save for that and plan for that. But that'll, you know, that'll, that actually helps make it a little bit more special, doesn't it?
You know, if you've had to sacrifice for something, when you, when you get to experience it, it really kind of makes you internally appreciate it more because you've worked for it. Yeah. And I think what I can do is the rest of these replies really fit into this conversation about value. So there's a difference in my mind in the cost and the value. Yeah.
So the rest of these replies were about and you mentioned this already location that depends on the size of the group um you know are there going to be workshops guest speakers or is this just a social event um it are we trying to find our tribe are we trying to be with that type of people how diverse is it as far as races ethnic groups ages body type shapes and sizes what's the cancellation policy is it a far as races, ethnic groups, ages, body types, shapes and sizes? What's the cancellation policy? Is it a clean and safe environment?
You see, all of these things that people said is important to them. When you just look at the bottom line price for an event, you really have to dig a little bit to see, you know, a $300 event over here may not be the same as a $300 event over here or vice versa. So understanding what you're getting and the value that you're getting for what you're paying is the way that we approach these things. So some people will just look at the dollar amount and say, yes or no, this is our budget. We can't go over this, so we can't go.
What we try to do is say, let's look at the overall value here and and what what are you actually getting and what opportunities do you have and like you were saying before as a filter if you're going to invest that much money into it and we have found this in our community that's why we one of the reasons we charge a fee for our community is because when people are paying for it they're going to be involved in it you know they're going they're going to want to get their money's worth out of it. And they're going to want to be a part of what's going on.
Where if it's almost, if it's free or really inexpensive, you get a mixture of the crowd, you get a lot of people, it doesn't turn into the event that maybe that you were hoping it would. So all of these replies that we got really have something to do with, I think, what the three of us have talked about is what kind of value are we going to offer to our guests? And those are all the things that are under the water. Those are the bottom of the iceberg are all of those things.
Like you might say my budget is X, but here's what I expect and here's what I desire and here's what I want to get at an event. And that's where you start to look at all of those things that are sitting under the surface. You know, I have this much money to spend. Okay, I've got these maybe five events that kind of immediately fit into that category. But as you said, Mr. Jones, different events might have the same price tag but not necessarily the same value add.
So you start to look at all of those things underneath it and go, well, hold on a second, over here has'm drawn to that that's something that matches what i want to get out of it and one of the things that i wanted to talk about um and i'll tell a little bit of a anecdotal story here to illustrate it but the value that we try to bring to our events has nothing to do with us it's the people that we bring to the event you know know, the people that are going to be there, if they're like-minded, if they're part of your tribe, you know, there's a value with, what do we call it, a target-rich environment?
You know, or you could go to a huge event where there may be some of your tribe there, but it takes you forever to find them, or you feel like, you know, that you're in the minority when you're looking for your type of people. So, you know, there's it just happened again recently. Like we were we were talking to somebody that we know and we were talking about somebody else that we know and come to find out the couple that we were talking to knew the couple we were talking about.
I mean, we were talking in a good way we just assumed they didn't know each other because they didn't live close to each other at all and they're like oh yeah we met them at at PCAP back in May of 20 no 2019 right was that 2021 oh yeah sorry like my calendar's a blur but you know so so these these events you know when you when you find your tribe you're making lifelong friendships well we hope you know i mean that's that's the desire um you know dragging ourselves through the mud sometimes of dealing with some of the the negatives that come along with it i mean the hope is that we come out the other side and somebody's made a connection and you know that's that's the biggest desire but and that's actually happened more than once when we're talking to people that have been to that particular pcap event you know it's pretty cool i think also just going back to what you just said before mr jones about kind of finding you know those events that have that similar people that you're attending with are the ones that you want to meet.
A couple of years ago, we actually were talking about what's the future of lifestyle events.
And one of the things we said was niche events, you know, events that you could go to and know that, hey, there's probably going to be a likelihood that 60 plus percent of the people here are kind of very similar mindset to me and how I approach life and the universe and everything versus maybe going to a very large event where you might like you said get five or ten percent and you've kind of got to find them um so I think we continue to go that way I'm seeing more and more niche events out there and you know because then you know hey this is the kind of event where I'm going to find people that are similar to me.
And the illustration that I wanted to use that I ran into lately is we hosted an event in the past in a major city in the US and we charged a minimal fee and with that fee came access to a club that we had made arrangements to take our group to this club. Well, an individual contacted me and they said, we're not going to go to the club. So we don't feel like we have to pay. We're going to be in that city anyway. So since we're not going to go to the club, can we just come along for free?
And my answer to that question was, if our group was not going to be in that city, would you be going to that city this weekend? And the answer was, well, no. Okay, well, then there's value. Even if you choose not to go to the club, part of the value is that there are going to be people there. And you know, there are going to be people there that you know that you're going to get along with. That's why you want to go.
But sometimes people have a hard assigning a a number to a value like that because you're just not going to wander into the city and stumble into our group it's a planned event that you're going to be able to take advantage of yeah we had we had a similar circumstance happen actually for the upcoming uk event that we're doing as well and you know i got an email about hey the price of the price of admission which was about i don't know 30 higher than a normal club event and you know my response was well because we've got performers we've got decorations we've got the event we've got the chat we've got the welcome bags we've got the security we've hired the dj we've got a fire performer you know so it's not just a normal club night we're adding a little bit to it and that's not even taking into consideration the fact that the people are in there right are just very similar ilk and they're having a you know a really good time in the chat so right i get it so let's talk about the types of events because i like the kate you brought up niche events and we already know there's different types of events so that your your comment about niche events actually adds another layer within all of these categories.
Because there's hotel or club parties where it's just at a hotel and it's one night, you stay overnight or you go to a club and it's an overnight thing. There's those parties. Then there's hotel takeovers. And those events can be two nights, three nights. Well, like a PCAP event where you're there for three or four nights or a New Orleans where you're there for four or five nights, the larger hotel takeovers. Then there's the resort trips and the takeovers that we talked about earlier that we've done with you and that we've done since then. And the larger ones, the cruises.
And then there's also the weekend meet and greets.
And that that's more like what we do where it's a day and a half or a two-day you know thing where you're going to get together and meet a lot of people and it's not as extravagant so you know and within each of these types of events you have these niches where you're looking for your tribe you're looking for people that you're going to connect with so again you know when you're if you're going to compare apples to apples when you're talking about a cost to event what type of an event is it and and a question i guess would be how do i know which types of events we're going to enjoy that is that is a tough one because i think everybody's answers around this table could be very different my answer will be very very different to Mrs.
Jones's and Mr. Jones, and I'm sure you two have different answers to yourselves. And it's hard to answer because, I mean, the easiest answer is to say, well, try them. Again, when time and money is a finite resource, it's just that's easier said than done. And, I mean, as podcasters, we're obviously afforded the opportunity to go to more things depending on for for us, you know, we've traveled for work in the past and we always try to tack on an extra day to go and pay for and explore a club.
But if I hadn't been traveling around the world on works dime, I wouldn't have had those opportunities to go to so many places. And would I have then experienced as much as I have? Probably not.
So I want to make the easy the easy way out and say well try everything first and then go back to what you enjoy um that's that's difficult to do so my my answer would be to try to find some form of community first and then figure out similar people and then what they go to yes and try to figure out then okay well if i've had similar minded people a couple of people have said they go to meet and greets because they prefer them that's where i'm going to target my attention and money and time to or i like that people you know my type of people they're party people and they want to go on a massive cruise ship and you know so then go and target that like that's i guess the longer answer i guess to make it not so easy yeah so this this when we started this conversation kate the three of us um one thing that mrs jones and i noticed and this was quite a few years ago when we first started our podcast and started interacting with other event planners and business owners in the lifestyle is that it doesn that it didn't seem like it was a very collaborative environment.
There seemed to be a lot of competition. You know, there wasn't a lot of recommendations from one business to another business. And we found that to be a little bit off-putting and even discouraged us from wanting to work with people. So, and I know that you've I don't know. we found that to be a little bit off-putting and even discouraged us from wanting to work with people. So, and I know that you've had similar experiences, but, you know, I mean, I'm just curious from your side, are these are the things that you noticed as well? Yeah. And I can give you a personal story, actually.
During COVID, as event hosts, this was a, I mean, it it was difficult time for everybody around the world obviously but as event hosts it was just this big unknown and we were staring down the barrel of our first major hotel takeover as this kind of exploded and I didn't really know what to do I mean even from a legal standpoint I had no idea what a force majeure was had to go hire a lawyer that cost money. And I started reaching out to very large, well-established event hosts. And what I was trying to do was bring a bunch of people together and say, how should we all handle this?
Is there a way, like, do you have really good policies in place? I've got a few ideas. Oh, you've got great ideas. Let's kind of mash them all together and let's do each other a favor.
and the level of pushback that I got from just even trying to collaborate about people's health was astounding not to mention yes you know there is people out there who they just don't want to collaborate or mention I'm kind of of the opposite I would rather recommend somebody's event or location or podcast or blog whatever that looks like if it's going to suit that person better and there's a reason for that it's selfish if that person is going to be unhappy at my event i would rather they would find an event that they're going to be happy at exactly rather than coming and feeling like i've ripped them off or that's not their tribe or whatever i'd rather them go and spend the money and time finding the right one because then it's going to foster a better relationship at my event and they're going to have a great time at the other one yeah and i think that's that's kind of what pushed us each into individually taking the path down to planning events um and and so what we've learned and we've been to pcap and we're planning to go to another one and you and like mrs jones said we've we've done that we did the desire trip together um we feel like libertine events and pcap is is a good complement to what we offer um and and there's a well first of all we kind of like you guys that you know that has to be just a little bit but it's refreshing to be able to sit down with somebody bounce ideas off of somebody not have to worry about sharing proprietary information you know we you know we want to see you succeed you know you've been very supportive of us so a lot of this came about um you know that this podcast and in this collaboration because um you know you get to a certain point in time and you mentioned being selfish but I think sometimes we have to leave a little bit more selfish and say we can't consider everybody we're just going to do some planning and put these events on the calendar and you know if you can't come to the we got a thing event on the east coast guess what you know Kate's doing one on the west coast we're going to help promote that and and i just feel like it's been such a refreshing and a healthy environment and we're you know just really hoping that other people see um the value and this is not pcap versus you know we got a thing you know we're all.
And, and we know, because we're growing this niche market, and, and our events are getting to capacity as is are yours. And so, you know, I don't, we don't feel like we're stealing from each other, we feel like we're complementing each other. Yeah, and I, there is so many different people in the lifestyle.
And I know, we've kind of beaten this to death but there's something there's a person out there for everybody you know there's someone out there who's going to want all that yummy when people say well i don't know about my body confidence i'm like there's someone out there who's going to want that and i think there's an event out there for everybody too right and so to feel like there's this level of competition of you know well if that if i have my event here and they've got their event in the same month you know oh my god what are we going to do it's there's an event there for everybody so for me it is about collaboration because I would rather that than the alternative of feeling so scared and having a fear that people aren't going to come to my event because they're going to go to a we got a thing event you know I just can't I can't live like that with that level of toxicity in my life I have to tell a Kate story so so i you know kate you and i were talking about this and you and you came to me and you said oh you're going to do an event in may then we're not going to do an event in may i said kate kate sometimes you can be too nice look we can both succeed you know you're i mean that's why everyone loves you uh because you're so unselfish from like at a certain point in time.
No, we can both succeed. You don't have to not do something because we're doing something in this in the same event. So we're really happy that that's actually that's going to happen this year in 2023. Well, and our events are relatively small. I mean, you know, 50 or 60 couples.
I don't I can't remember what your capacity is for for yours in may but um you know that that's not a lot of people and there's a lot of people out there that want to have fun so yeah there's spots for everybody and you know you're on one coast we're on the other coast it could be a location choice too as part of the you know like you said part of the value is the transportation of getting there yep and I think again you've just touched on the the bottom of the iceberg you know some people really want intimate events some people want kind of middle of the road some people want the the crazy large five person five thousand people cruise ships you know so even that in itself you know there are these different levels of well what what do you want to get out of it what's going to be your value so what i was hoping that we could do is a little bit of marketing for you um i said that our weekends or our events are complimentary so we're going to talk about what our events are like and then kate i'd like for you to tell everybody how what your events are like so everyone will kind of understand the difference and how that they complement each other.
So, and Mrs. Jones, you mentioned crowd size. So we normally try to stick to between 50 and 125 people at our events.
And we try to host them in regional cities across the country um and we're more social sexy centric so we in other words you have the burden of of Kate when you get a hotel you're you're putting a playroom together and you know we'll hear from you in a minute about how difficult that is but we don't have that worry because we're more social as sexy and people have their own hotel room so we figure hey you know you or maybe we're just lazy because it is very difficult to like put a playroom together and manage it yeah yeah that's what it is you've touched on i'll just edit that part out about us being lazy but no but that's what i mean we're focused more on on newbie couples and and this is what they're most comfortable with is coming into an environment that, you know, that it's a lot more social and easy to ease into where they can work their way up and graduate to one of Kate's events.
And we use the hotel more as a central meetup place. We do have workshops and sessions, but, you know, we usually get dinners at restaurants in the neighborhood where we have to go out or we'll do pub crawls or we'll do a group. We'll get together and go pole dancing or go on a hike together. Sometimes we'll go to a lifestyle club in the evening.
So it's more the hotel is where we stay, is where we start and end our day and may have a session or two there but the hotel isn't the central focus of of the it's more bringing people together in one place where they can either renew their friendship or they can meet new people and then they have opportunities to both learn a little bit and grow a little bit and you know what if they choose to have a little fun you know while they're there in the bedroom as well so did i did i miss anything no i think that's about right so why don't you kate why don't you talk about how your events are structured and and a little bit different than that well first of all i do want to say that i'm officially attending my first we got a thing event in may and i'm so excited uh i'm looking forward to i mentioned i mentioned that in the group chat and people were like what but you've hosted events with you know mr and mrs jones before i'm like it's a different thing i get to come and attend like and it's a we got a thing event i'm so excited uh and i i i promise maybe i won't run amok in the hotel but maybe not promise i'm not sure oh sorry i have to i have to throw something in here so that wouldn't be any fun if you behaved yeah so i did get a message espresso martinis at five in the morning yes i did get a message the other day kate and this woman said oh my gosh i just heard that kate is going to at your event.
I'm definitely coming to your event now. So see the draw that you have? We got an attendee because Kate was going to be at our event. Oh, nice. That's awesome. I really like that. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
So first of all, before I talk about our events, I guess what I want to talk about is our attendees because I think you'll probably probably find some alignment here so every event we do a survey we do a survey normally at the beginning of the event so we ask a few questions as people are buying their tickets have you been to a lifestyle event before these sorts of things and then at the end we do a survey as well and what we've tried to figure out over the years is who is actually attending our event so some fun interesting things for you is that 30 of our attendees are brand brand new they're in their first six to 12 months of lifestyle and they've never attended an event before sometimes not even a club so 30 that's quite a lot we have an average of 45 years old quite a diverse grouping of people in terms of their sexuality and their identity definitely lgbtqia plus positive eager to learn those are the sort of things that we're finding from our attendees does that kind of match what you guys are seeing at yours yeah i think so we don't have as many nerds as our event at our events that you do i have a spreadsheet no and and one big one of the bigger differences uh kate is you know you you're so creative with your theme nights and and your your entertainment and we love that but that's just not our personality okay it's not my personality oh i'm gonna throw a flag here okay like i love you kate you know that your theme night stressed me out yeah yeah i get that a lot I get well wow it's so creative but geez what do we wear I know like I need to start planning for October now it's why we I started doing those how to dress guides um so I could let people in on the inner workings of my mind which is sometimes scary out there but I like to invite people in uh but aside from the people that come to our events our events are larger in size but we never want to get too big so yours you mentioned before sort of 50 60 couples ours are around about 70 to 100 couples so 140 people to 240 people we did a large one in Palm Springs last year and honestly for me that felt too big, we got up into the 300 plus mark.
And so we're trying to keep it a little bit lower, but certainly not as intimate as your event. So they are a little bit larger in that way. They're also three to four nights. We always stay at four star plus locations.
And we try to move around different locations where there's something else to see outside of our hotel, possible but yes we are centered very much around party and themes seminars and educators and supporting the local community those are some of the things that we really focus on so whilst we do have our mingle events and we have our seminars during the day we might have like pool parties and they can be maybe clothing optional like we have in miami or they might not be pool parties at all but at the evening there's going to be djs and performers and crazy theme nights mrs jones and decorations and stuff like that so it is a different uh feel i guess that it is very much centered around the hotel and we kind of bringing everything in it's pretty rare for us to go off site as a collective right and i think one of the things that if i were to say the most one of the most valuable things that we bring and that you bring is the diversity um you know and we've learned this the longer that we've been in the lifestyle with ages uh ethnicity races body shapes experience, you know, just non-traditional couples.
It's just we are seeing people, people are seeing more people as just human beings as opposed to labeling somebody with what they are.
And we noticed that at your events and actually that's like part of your dna is is diversity and we believe that strength comes from diversity as well not only strength but we learn so much from other people if we don't have a lot of these barriers or preconceived ideas as to what people are or what they represent yeah and i mean we're doing our best i mean i honestly i wish there was a little bit more diversity in the lifestyle in terms of events and marketing collateral and those sorts of things it's something that i think we are missing as a community so we're doing our best but certainly we've got a very very long way to go but we've always been a couples event as well and but we've always included okay is that two people is it a thruple is it a poly quad a polycule a morsum you know so we've sort of had these different types of relationships coming through as well which has been fantastic because then it opens conversations up to well that's interesting can you tell me more about that you know that's something that we've really been trying to bring it's not just, a male and female, and they're in a long-term committed relationship.
It can be two people of the same sex. It can be just any, any really way that people identify as that couple or that relationship status. So I'll get off my soapbox now. Well, you know, I wanted to talk a little bit about, you know, maybe switching the spotlight around and thinking about you and Daryl when you first got into the lifestyle, when you first started attending events. And then Mrs.
Jones and I, and you mentioned this style before, like when we were new, we said, well, we're just going to try to sample as many different types of events as we can and figure out which event it is that we're most drawn to or that we're most comfortable with um and and but it's interesting though what we found was it wasn't necessarily the event the event it was the people at the event that that we started seeing you know these connections and these real values oh and that was kind of like the the bottom line yay or nay you know like, I'm an introvert.
So I would normally choose a smaller event.
But like, you know, if we went to a bigger event, and we met, you know, when I say quality people, I mean, like minded people, people that I could connect with, you know, at my age and my experience level and and like you know our whatever our style I guess um then the size of the event became somewhat irrelevant because my tribe was there and I could handle the bigger crowd um but you don't know until you put yourself into that situation yeah and it's hard to do I remember the the first time we're in a very large event and I we met you actually at that event and I I remember the first time we were in a very large event and I, we met you actually at that event.
And I just remember thinking, you know, we were from Australia at the time, like how, what, how many people are here? What is happening? I'm just a little girl from Australia. What's going on? We're surrounded by water. We have koalas and kangaroos. What is happening? You know, so yeah, I get you. So how did you guys start your foray into attending events? So down in Australia, we didn't have much when we first started the lifestyle. You know, we were listening to you guys and Swinger Diaries and a few other people talking about, like, these events and these hotel takeovers.
And we're like, what the hell is that? We just didn't. We don't have that because we don't have the population for it. So really ours started as either clubs or house parties. Those were the two options that you really had. And so we started sampling that. We sampled the two clubs in our local city. We found a preference of one club over the other. And to your point, Mrs. Jones, it was the people that were there.
And then we started going to house parties and we realized very quickly that there were some house parties that just weren't our type of people and there were some that really were and then we started traveling you know we really saved up that first big trip in 2016 I think we saved for about a year and a half and we flew all the way over to America and you know that was not an inexpensive trip for us between the airfares and the event tickets and the hotel and the food and the drinks and everything and we went to desire after that for the first time too so again tack all of that on top of that and we did walk away with a little bit more of a sense of okay here's kind of what we like and here's where we think we fit in so we did try those few to begin with and I think since then it's kind of shaped a little bit of an understanding between the club, the house party, and those two larger events, what we look for in people and what we hope and, to be quite frank, expect from our hosts.
You know, I've been to some really shitty events, and I expect more from the community, but I really expect more from the hosts. And so we've kind of figured that out along the way. So I think you're touching on the edge of my next question. And here is my thought. After we went to a few parties and events and we would stand there saying, why is it so difficult to find a safe, clean, sexy environment where people are not over-served and the DJ doesn't blast your ears off with music.
So I'm wondering what it is that led you from all the way across the world to want to change careers, start event planning. You know, what was it that drove you to want to be an event host yourself? I mean, I plead temporary insanity because i started doing this right before covid so wine i don't know um the desire not to make money who knows i've always been somebody who likes bringing people together years and years ago when we lived in brisbane queensland i started a ladies meetup group and it became very.
I think I had 500 members in there and I'd got a lot out of people coming together and creating something new and we would go off and raise money for cancer and all these amazing things. And it just was this high. And I've kind of carried that through my entire life.
And then when we came into the lifestyle and I started attending these events and clubs and stuff like that, and I thought, geez, there doesn't seem to be something that fits perfectly for me or it's not out there or really the big thing especially for Libertine was looking around and thinking there is really similar voices out there in the podcasting space especially and similar people that are listening and why don't we all just bring these people together in a really nice neat box and bow and that was kind of where it started and it was just out of a desire to bring those community members together and you know that's really I guess the foundation of what I'm still trying to do to this day and to hear people are now in polyamorous relationships because of the events and stuff like that is definitely worth the effort but I mean long story short it was just that we saw a desire and a need and we wanted to kind of fill it with what we thought could be a really beneficial thing for the community well i have to blame your husband for us getting into event planning it was one of the first meet and greets that we did that we got a thing hosted at naughty in new orleans and you guys showed up think it may have been the first time we met you.
And then we hosted a seminar down there as well. And at the end of the weekend, Daryl said, every time we're with your group, you have some fucking sexy listeners that follow you around. And he said, this is not a coincidence. And then that's when we started to think more about, well, wait a minute, maybe the people that are drawn to us are the people that we naturally would connect with and that would connect with each other. And so we looked at it as an opportunity. I'll say I.
I mean, I just like connecting people i we don't have to be the center of attention here we just want to provide a space we're the facilitators yeah yeah exactly we're the facilitators and and if you're if you're listening to us and you nod your head and you stop and the recording and you talk to each other and your philosophy is the same then you're probably going to get along well and connect with other people that listen too so it was it was his very first comment that make up made us think well maybe it's not just coincidence that that these people are showing up and we have so much in common with them well exactly and creating those niche events i mean back then it was just we didn't realize what that really meant until until now we're like oh that's why it's you know it's creating I'm not going to be similar people there so why wouldn't i want to spend again we go back to that 300 event you spoke about earlier in the episode that 300 event versus the next one if i know there's going to be a larger amount of people at this event then that's the one i'm going to spend my money at because it's got a higher value perception for me right right so i guess the question now is if i'm out there listening you know how do i choose what what type of event to go to um and and you know the first thought i have is you know maybe the question you should ask yourself is what type of an event fits your style and approach to the lifestyle?
So if it's possible, set that cost aside for just a minute and ask yourself, is this the type of event? Am I going to is it going to be comfortable for us to go there? Is it do we think our kind of people are going to be there from what I can read about it? Does it sound like, you know, our vibe? And so that's the first question I think that people could ask themselves. Yeah, I agree.
I mean, if you're the type of person who wants to dance all night to, you know, five international DJs, then there is absolutely, I can think of at least five hotel takeovers that would cater to that if you're somebody who wants to have some seminars some downtime some discussion topics and party at the same time and meet some people and have some games and some silliness there's events for that as well so i agree the first thing is what do you actually want in an ideal world if you could take everything from underneath that iceberg and bring it up to reality what would that look like right and people talk about i'm interested it would be here to hear what you ladies think about this but um another question you should ask yourself is how people people say i want to find my tribe how do you describe your tribe how do you know what your tribe is how do you even know what to look for so do you all have any ideas about you know if you were to describe the types of tribes or a tribe that you might be looking for what kind of words do you use to do that oh i want to know mrs jones's answer to this first actually well i mean there i think kate just touched on it you know if if you're like a party person and you're just out to like meet people and dance and have fun and you know that that's a that's a vibe that you're going to put off when you meet other people um if you want to take the time to sit down at a seminar and listen and then you know talk, talk to your partner afterwards and, and like have a roundtable discussion, you know, with people that you've just met, you know, that's a vibe that you put off too.
So, you know, what, what are you looking for? Are you, are you looking for an event where there's a playroom because you have an objective that you're going to go and you're going to find somebody and you're going to have fun that weekend. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, if that's your goal, there's, like you said, there are events and there are people out there that are just waiting to meet you. Yeah. But we want to dig into the mind of Mrs. Jones though. And we want to know how would you describe my tribe you're looking. Yeah, that's what I want to know.
I mean, I think everybody else listening to this is like, yeah, it's also what is Mrs. Jones' tribe. This is where your husband comes back into the conversation, somebody that makes her giggle her panties off. Well, that really is a very predictable thing, yes. You know you're going to get in trouble for mansplaining that now, Mr. Jones, don't you?
No, I'm just trying to give Daryl some props here that's what it is yeah nice been too long i tell you um my tribe is you know just meeting people that just like to like hang out and don't take themselves very seriously they're they don't really have an agenda know, you just kind of like meet people and start talking and, and let it like evolve. I don't, I don't really like to go into something with a, with an objective because oftentimes we're disappointed. So yeah, I just like people that are sexy, don't take themselves very seriously.
seriously they they pay attention um you know they need to be kind of humble and not take themselves too seriously i find that very sexy um i i just want um i like low pressure situations because that lets me let my guard down where, you know, I can be vulnerable and open myself up to the possibilities. So it's your turn, Kate, because I remember a podcast that you and Daryl did a long, long time ago about if you want to get into Kate's pants. And I listened to that one because we were about to meet you.
So I listened to that he took notes six or seven times you know i was writing things down i tried to memorize all that stuff pretty much how to memorize that's digging back in the archives because we've been podcasting now for seven years and i i don't i mean now that you're bringing it up it kind of rings a bell but oh yeah oh yeah it's there i don't know the it was like in your first or second year of podcasting i yeah it must have been i mean yeah it's probably changing that too so you know and that that's another good thing like just because you set what your intentions are and what your events you like now doesn't mean you're not going to change them in a year or two as well just to say that but for for me similar to what you said mrs jones i'll probably add on things like i find people who are passionate about something very exciting you know this might i might never jump into bed with them but if i can talk to somebody who's passionate about something and honestly i don't care if it's race cars or knitting knitting a fucking that's a blast i don't mind which one it is I just want somebody to have a bit of passion for life and have some passion for something something that when they start talking about and they want to share that with you they kind of they illuminate a little bit like that really to me is something so and that passion is contagious it is you know again I know so much about so many random topics now because I've you know spoken to somebody at an event I'm like oh yeah and I tell tell people like three years later like yeah I know a lot about fireflies because this person at this event but for me it's you're going to those sorts of events where I know those are going to be the people that are there that I can have a really fun illuminated conversation over drinks with and I may never end up in bed with, but I know I'm going to walk away having a really good time and that's where I see value.
If you can take me away for a weekend and I'm less stressed, I'm having random, fun conversations with people about certain topics, I'm dancing in the food hall area, I don't care if I can just have that low kind of stress and just fun, Like I'm in like Flynn, take, take my credit card. Yep. Well, I guess I should give my two cents then because I, and I agree with everything that you two ladies have talked about, but the one thing that I want. That's because you want to get in both of our pants. Well, darn, I feel like I don't need to say anything now.
It's the obvious strength of the other couple's relationships, whatever those couples look like. You know, how they treat each other, how they talk to each other. Kate, when you mentioned light up when they're passionate about something, when I see a husband talking about his wife and he lights up, you know, or I see another man treating my wife with so much regard and so much respect, you know, it's things like that that I'm attracted to, that you're my type of person because I can tell what's most important to you.
And therefore, I can enjoy myself and not be concerned that there's some ulterior motive here that you're in this for, for some other reason. So I'm always looking for that. And I want to be friends with the guy. Like if I'm friends with the husband, that's so important, you know, for us to have a connect with another group of people or another couple. So that's how I would describe kind of our trial. And it doesn't mean that you had to have been married for 20 or 30 years.
We've seen dysfunctional relationships in couples that have been married 40 years, and we've seen really mature, loving, caring relationships for people that have been married five years. It's really not about the amount of years. It's about that intangible thing that you can just pick up on when you see other couples together. So then I've got a few more things to go over and how do you choose? So that's your tribe. What is your budget? We talked about that already, But, you know, are you willing to travel? And what do you expect to get out of the event?
You know, so these are some questions that you can ask yourself, as the two of you or more of you or single, we have actually two singles coming to our next event. um you know me i'm one of them oh three three sorry i forgot about you three coming to our next so what do you you know what do you expect to get out of this event so these are some questions I think that people could ask when they're making these decisions.
yeah and I think just to add on to that is what do you expect to get out of the event but to also add to that is what's going to make it feel like a successful event to you that's a big one too because you can have expectations and let's be frank you're not always going to meet those expectations that's just you know that's life man right and so you know you may have to say well okay here's what I want here would be like the gold status but what is the reality and what would make it a success and how would I walk away feeling like it's a success and that can be something like I just want to really reconnect with my partner and I want to see my partner flirt with somebody and have a good time and I want to see that person light up and smile and that could look like success for you or honestly maybe it's having sex with five new people fill your boots it can be any of those things but I think to understand what that's going to look like will help you then see that value in it right it could be something like going topless at your afternoon pool party oh my god that was so nerve-wracking the first time i did that i know i know uh so so as we start to wrap up here um uh before we get into the final thoughts i don't want to save this part for last.
We're going to get to final thoughts in a minute. But Kate, why don't you tell us a little bit about Portland and some of the things that you have coming up on your event calendar? Yeah, so we have Portland. So Libertine Events Fantasy is in Portland.
I'm really excited to go there because it's supposed to be one of the most sex positive locations around the united states actually so i'm really keen to do that and we've hired a number of local sex experts so we're doing things like shibari classes we're also doing like twerk classes i spoke to a fantastic person today who's going to come and do a talk on stis sti status flirting and disclosing that and having those consent conversations, which I'm really, really excited about. And then on top of that, we're doing a number of parties and themes and we're also taking over the local club.
So in Portland, it's less about the pool parties like some of our events are and it's more about spending time on site, having great food and drinks and spending time together with those seminars.
But then also we're doing a whole club takeover as well so we're all going to get on this big gold bus i'm not joking it's actually gold and we're going to go to this club takeover for our finale party so it's kind of more about exploring the city and everything it has to offer and i'm really really excited for portland it's actually a little bit more intimate as well it's 70 rooms so it's not as big of an event as we've had before or certainly even as big as miami is so that's kind of nice as well and i'm looking forward to partying myself if i'm if i'm going to be selfish and quite honest so is it full and if not how can people find out more about it it's almost full it's at 80 percent right now we have 14 rooms left off the top of my head they're all queen rooms and you can just head to podcast dash a dash palooza.com to find out the information about portland and that's in may 2023 so we'd love you guys to join in if you are available and then in october october's sold out but we are heading down to miami and that is a larger event it's 101 rooms it is completely sold out it's clothing optional it's three nights and four days and that's going to be fantastic that's going to be a lot of pool parties and djs and awesome theme nights that are going to really stress out mrs so i'm really looking forward to that one as well uh and actually we just had black and kinky lifestyle podcast join us for that one um they just they just mentioned to us they're going to come down to that too so that's fresh hot off the press and really excited to have bomber and belback joining us again in in miami um but other than that yeah we're just really excited for 2023 and we kind of went back to our roots with you know what expectations i have on on the events too and and how we can make sure that we're actually we are providing value because that was something that you know you and i spoke about a number of times of like i really want to make sure people walk away going that was worth my time so if it's sold out um i want to know a couple things do you have a waiting list and and how can i get on it and then secondly um is it the same website to or do you have a newsletter how can they find out about like events that you haven't had planned yet that are going to be on the calendar in the future we do have a wait list at the moment so if you head to the same website you can go and check out the miami event and right at the top of the page there is a waiting list right there at the moment people booked over 12 months out for this event so i do expect there's going to be some movement again life happens right so if you want to try to join miami please do join the wait list it is on the same website but we do have a newsletter as well and i promise you i don't spam you know i'm really really down for not spamming so if you want to join that what we will be providing you is information on our events information even on the we got a thing events as they're getting released to the public so that's a good way to see not just our events but also what's happening in the community we're trying to focus a lot on the general social calendar in 2023 and that's just it's greater than our events all right well i'm gonna ask you for an exclusive uh on the we got a thing podcast can you tell us anything about 2024 like what what are you thinking in the future for libertine yeah so we've we uh yes i can um canada we're coming we you know finding hotels and finding venues as you well know is is very difficult and it takes a long time especially as we mentioned before we do full takeovers we have playrooms on site so we are very frank with the hotel about the kind of event we are and in fact we won't even partner with a security company if they're not lgbtqia friendly we'll just say look we won't put we will part ways so with the hotel it's the same thing so we are going through the motions with a number of hotels in canada to discuss takeovers in canada and then working with a number of the local clubs in Canada as well to look at venues.
So that's coming for 2024. We're doing a few things down here in Europe as well, which is really exciting. So we're going to be doing later this year, actually a Netherlands trip because that's where I live. So it's quite easy for me, which is nice, nice change. And some things in Grand Canaria and stuff like that. Yeah.
So we've got a few things coming, you you know some smaller events down here in europe and the uk and things like that but yeah definitely 2024 is um we are coming for canada so i'm looking forward to that and all of the maple syrup i can get my hands on well um so we've just a little bit about what's going on with us um because we started out with building a community and the events kind of spur off of that we sell out just about all of our events from within in our community so um if you are in our community we have a calendar of events that we have online events we have um local events we've we've really started focusing to diversify into regional groups and so we have we got a thing ambassadors leaders in each of our regional groups and they're um holding one in san diego that's coming up um louisville in april um of course washington dc in may which is sold out but there's going to be events all over the country that go within our uh our community um so you'll have to we'd we'd love for for people to join us and and you can go to our website and i'll kate i'll put a link to you to your your pcap um also and then we're still doing we're doing two desire events next year one in the dominican, or this year, this year.
Yeah. I know. It's gone so quickly. 2020. Our November trip is full, but our June Grand Meechee's trip, there's 17th through the 24th, that is available to the public. That is on our external website, so we do have some rooms left for that.
And then we were talking about doing some collaborative events, Kate's right yeah so that's another thing that's hot off the press it's not announced yet but with our discussions around how we can do more things together and how we can really build on some of the the stuff that we're doing we are soon going to be launching virtual events and these are where we're going to get sexperts to come along.
These sexperts already may be employed by Libertine Events, so they may be hosting at one of our events, and they're going to touch on topics, and we're going to cover different topics like how to do an intro to spanking, how to talk flirty and sexy with your partner. Again, if you've been with them for a couple of years, that shit gets rusty in the bedroom.
We're going to do a little how to do a strip tease, and these are all going to be virtual events where the community is going to be directly involved and and i'm kind of i'm i'm really excited for that because i think those are going to be very valuable ways to if you can't attend those those events in person you can still maybe attend something virtual and get something out of it like that and get a feel for some of these topics that you might want to then go and learn more about so that that I'm excited for.
Right, in a way, these virtual events can be like a test drive for one of your weekend events, you know, so that they can see the potential value, right? Yeah, they can see if they find their tribe, you know, in these virtual events as well.
Yeah, it's also to showcase a lot of the sexperts out there that really are very passionate about their craft and, you know know highlighting some of those amazing people that are out there just kind of doing the good work and being sex positive and helping us all to be a little bit more sex positive well one thing i love about your tribe and our tribe and i think this is where we really have a lot of intersection is that i think our our tribe is very cerebral i think we we are not Not exclusively, think we are intellects and and we don't just want to dive in and see what happens we want to kind of be thoughtful about our journey and and you know you offering these opportunities to connect with professionals um that have you know good solid information about like some really scary topics when you're new, right?
Yeah. Kind of take some of the mystery out of it so that you feel like you're making better decisions as you dive in. I'm just stoked that Mrs. Jones mentioned intellectual and me in the same conversation. That's my takeaway for today.
So thoughts um i mean i'll start by saying you know this is not easy um it's not cheap um it's not going to happen overnight in most cases and you you're going to need to try different types of events um but we hope that what you've heard from us tonight and what we're offering you know gives you some head start uh as a couple on how to approach that so what are you all thinking as your final thoughts i guess some of the stuff that that i personally look at as well is is what are the what are the ethics and morals behind it behind the company you know how do they market what are they supporting locally you know those are all the things that really matter to me as an individual so you know outside of the dates and the location and stuff like that I'll start to look at hey do they do they ever talk about consent on their website do they ever talk about things like can people openly use phones you know and and those sorts of things those are the things that that I generally tend to gravitate to because I feel like if the host is talking about that it means that those things are at the front of their mind and then that's going to trickle down to the attendees you know I want to feel safe and secure I think Mrs Jones you mentioned that earlier I want to feel safe enough that I can take my top off or I want to feel safe enough that I can let my guard down and have a good time and have a couple of drinks and flirt with people and if that mentality is coming top down for me that that's a really big part of it so outside of the razzle and dazzle of marketing and the glam and the pool parties and everything else that comes along with it for me it's really about look a little bit deeper if that matters to you maybe maybe it doesn't and that's completely okay as well but if it does matter try to out that information.
If you can't get it off the website, like even within the community, you know, ask around, because for me, that's what matters. I think one of the final thoughts that we have, and I know Mrs. Jones and I are like-minded on this because she does a lot of shopping on Amazon, and that is be careful about recommendations from what you read and what you hear from other people. Because what we've learned is people tend to recommend things they like, and they like to tell you not to do things that they don't like.
And because of the diversity in the lifestyle and these different niches that are coming forward, you know, you should really make your own decisions. And after a while, we just like when you're shopping on Amazon, you can look at a review and pretty much tell, well, I think there's a little bit of a personal, you know, vendetta here, or that doesn't sound completely right.
You know, so just learning how to where to get your information from a lot of these events is important too and then finally overthinking things can be a big problem just like anything else in the lifestyle you can listen to us you can research these events you can work out your budget and get everything ready but the more you try to figure things out sometimes it gets in your head uh and then you're freaked out and you can't enjoy the event because you've overthought a lot of it yeah we had an attendee turn up even though we have the mobile phone which had the the schedule and they still turned up with a printed schedule with things all highlighted and we're going here and then they've got like lunch 45 minutes and in my head i'm already thinking well it's gonna take longer for you to order and get your food so I'm like well that schedule's fucked for the day you know but sometimes you know people do need that some personality types need that but yeah do try to release that a little bit if you can and maybe that's one of the boundaries that you're gonna try and push like I'm gonna go to an event and I'm not gonna over plan for the day like that could be a boundary and a successful walk away for you could be as simple as right right so i mean for those types of people it might be better to go to the events that are more structured i guess you know um but you're not going to know until you actually get there right yeah and and it's an investment in your relationship and that's where we started on this you.
You know, there are events that we prefer, but honestly, we usually have fun no matter where we go, just because it's an adventure and we're learning something and we're getting to meet people. So as we were, you know, learning how to do this, we still enjoyed it.
It wasn't like we didn't have a good time, but, you know, it is something that, you know you know and it's an investment in your relationship so all the way back to the very first comment about cost you know again is is what are you investing in and what are you getting out of it and and that's kind of my final thought on this and we wanted just to say not only thank you Kate but um we've known you guys for a long time and uh we have watched you uh grow your your event business and it's just been a pleasure to be uh considered friends and we're happy to collaborate with you and be a part of what you're doing and um you know we we wish you the best and we're looking forward to seeing you in May and and also again twice in one year we get to see Kate.
I know, I know. So thank you for all of that. And collaborating in Europe sounds really good. I know. Well, hey, the Canary Islands sound really good. I know. You got my attention. Come on down.
We're always keen to have people come and visit us, and we'll have extra space very soon so thanks very much guys it's been it's been really interesting to do this episode and i guess yeah it's it's such a difficult topic because we all look at value in so many different ways and to start breaking it down has kind of been really enlightening i guess and i don't know i'm keen to see the reaction and how people feel about this and i'd love to hear back from people once they're listening to this, maybe just what they value. That'd be really interesting.
Maybe we can build on that iceberg that we were talking about earlier and start to figure out what people look at when they're, when they're looking at events or kind of plot and plan a little bit you know off the air about being able to see her again. We're going to see her in May. Yes, she's going to come to our, as she said, she's going to come to our DC event. And also I think, as she mentioned, her Portland event is not sold out. Right.
So that's May 19th through the 22nd in Portland, oregon and i think there may be about eight or nine slots left for that as of today so if you're interested in that you can go to the podcast a palooza website and get tickets there otherwise you're just going to have to plan to be with us in 2024 that's right we got all kinds of ideas for 2024 right but it's we need to get through 2023 there's a lot going on for us this year too that's right well building a house does take up a little bit of time especially when you're doing it long distance and for you 2024 is going to be a healthier year yes well for both of us yes i mean i'm recovered from my surgery but you you got home from desire and you had the flu and you were sick for like years it seemed i know well like i the last day of our cruise i started coughing again yeah and you were like you're coughing i'm like oh my god you're right so like i wore a mask on the airplane on the way home and then went to the doctor the next day and i still had pneumonia and i was complaining about being sick because i hadn't been sick for like two years and the doctor said you know and i even said my husband had covid twice over the past couple years and i never got covid and she said hmm have you has anybody tested you for the flu or covid today and i'm like not today.
They have the past couple times I've been here. And she's like. Well, we tested before we went on the cruise. Yeah. Or before we went to Desire and before we went on the cruise. Yeah. Well, then I had been sick. So every time I, this was my third trip to the doctor. Right. So both other times, you know, they tested for flu and COVID.
And I tested positive for positive for the flu but negative for covid so sure enough she did a covid test and i was positive so i'm so glad i wore that mask on the airplane on the way home that poor lady next to me but yeah so really it took me till the middle of january to feel like a human again yeah i was sick for almost two months so months. So we're declaring 2024 a healthy year. No kidding. We have too many plans in place for either one of us to be sick. Well, I got that out of the way. That's got to be good for a couple of years, I swear.
Well, hopefully you found that conversation helpful. We would love to meet you at one of our future events, and I'm sure Kate would love to meet you too. We're going to collaborate with her into the future when we can, because we want to support what she's doing. And she's been very helpful for us as well. So before we close, obviously, if you want to join our We Got A Thing community, you just need to visit our website at wegotathing.com. W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G.com. That's right. And that's where you go to book your desire trips too. Yes.
There are links on our website that you click through that activate those promo codes that we talked about earlier. Yes. And if you have any problems with that or questions, just email me. You can email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com. And me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. You can follow us on Twitter while we're still on Twitter and while Twitter still exists. Yeah. At wegotathing. Don't forget about SDC and Cassidy. You can also get 90 days free trial on SDC and Cassidy if you book those to our website as well so thanks for listening we are Mr. and Mrs.
Jones and we got a thing what's your thing We'll see you next time.
