Episode 101: Deal Breakers

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones.

And I'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 101 of the we got a thing podcast deal breakers wait do i say 101 do i say 101 like we're in new territory you can say whatever you want to okay so how about deal breakers 101 haha no this is an advanced course anyway welcome to episode 101 yes we're happy to be back yeah so we'll get into the topic in a minute yeah right now i'm enjoying my new cocktail that i just invented like 10 minutes ago it is tasty yeah might have to have another one during intermission yeah you know i never really talk about cocktails anymore because i had a couple people concerned that i had a drinking problem or something even though you know we record once a month and i have a cocktail well a lot of other podcasts started talking about cocktails too i think we were over representing alcohol yeah cocktails were getting over it's kind of saturating the market i guess yeah but this is a grapefruit hibiscus margarita it's delicious yes too many words and syllables for me it's a it's a good margarita yeah it is for sure so we got a few announcements to make before we get down to business.

That's a lot of announcements. And then you wrote stuff in, in the, in the margins. I know. Just follow along. Yeah. Yep. San Diego. So we, our community is getting ready to host an event in San Diego. And is that next winter? It's in the winter, right? Yes. it's going to be in early 2023. Yeah. And then our Desire event, which is coming up next month in 2022, is sold out. Hey, have you started making name necklaces yet? No.

Because I think people are announcing today, like the day we're recording here, I think we're one month out, yeah people are making their final payment yeah today right so i got to get on the ball yep yeah so sorry that sold out however our desire november 2023 trip is open and that's going to be november 11th through the 18th yes of 2023 we also have a promo code for that trip and that is d as in double p as in penetration 2022 right because it couldn't mean desire pearl i mean that would be too logical they're gonna remember it now dp2022 for an extra 10 off um and you're gonna want to book that because that one's probably going to book up within the next month or two yeah and then we have our desire grant or excuse me temptation grand miches event june 17th through the 24th yeah but that's not sold out but we've got a heck of a lot of people signed up for it yeah so i was i was going to be happy if we got like 20 couples to sign up.

Yeah, we have 55 couples signed up for that one already, and it's only November. So I suspect that one's going to get larger. And the promo code for that trip is GRAND22. We're not allowed to put that promo code on our website. You're going to have to write it down just because nobody else is getting that. And they don't want other people getting angry with us for getting a bigger discount. And those codes are only effective if you click through the banner on our website, right? Correct. Yeah. So you have to go to WeGotAThing.com, click on Book Your Desire Trip, and then they're right there.

We are going to be hosting an event in the springtime, probably in the May timeframe in Washington, DC. You know, we finally figured out that we live in a pretty awesome city. Why are we traveling all over the country? There's a lot right here in DC. Yeah. So we're going to do something here in DC in the spring. Um, you know, all of these events, we'd love to give you the dates as far out in advance as we can, but there's a whole lot of contracting and stuff going on behind the scenes. And when you do stuff in big cities, you don't always get exactly what you want when you want it. Right.

Yeah.

And then last but not least, as far as big events go, we're going to be attending the event formerly known as pcap that's a libertine event put on by kate from wanderlust swingers and we and that is october 20th through the 23rd of 2023 so we will and that is in miami yes and that is our anniversary right so the oh you just had that oh shit look across your face the oh shit look was i don't think kate has put registration out to the public yet i think i think she was opening it up to people who had attended in the past but i think in the next week or so um she's i think she's just now sending a newsletter out announcing that to everybody so keep an eye out for your inbox because you'll be able to are we going to get in trouble did we just spill the beans no oh okay october i know you need to mark your calendars that's right it come sell our celebrate our anniversary with us i'll tell you this it's 60 sold already, and she hasn't opened it to the public.

So it's going to sell out pretty quickly. So when you do get the details from Kate, be sure to sign up. Yes. And we'll see you in Miami in October. And that's quite the party. Right. There's all kinds of other events going on in our community. So I should just mention real quickly that we have a couple of new special interest groups in our community. One is LGBTQ+. And that is designed for people who are wanting to explore the sexuality in different ways in an open and free and non-judgmental environment. Yes.

And then our brand new group is Hot Wife slash Stag stag vixen so we've got evidently a lot of people in our community interested in that play dynamic and so we just started a separate group for them and that got really popular really quick all right surprised about that um so yeah we'd love for you to join our community most of our events will sell out from there um and the ones i just mentioned you have to be a member to join so visit our website and we'd love for you to join our community. Most of our events will sell out from there.

And the ones I just mentioned, you have to be a member to join. So visit our website and we'd love to have you. So keeping up with the Joneses. Wow, I'm exhausted just from your announcements. I know, there's a lot of crap going on in 2023. We're going to be busy. I know. But you told me that our spreadsheet said that we were going to have more time to travel next year. Well, I just, I had like the crappiest work day ever and I'm just getting ready to write my see you later letter to one of my bigger clients because I'm just done. No, it's an FU letter. Yeah. Wow. An F off letter.

An F off letter. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So yeah, I'm going to have more free time. Less money, but more free time. Excellent. We can manage that. Um, so yeah. So anyway, we, we, oh, I should do a quick health update. You're still alive. I'm still alive. Uh, I, I did go to, um, I switched urologists just for convenience cause I got one closer to home now. And I just received my TriMix prescription in the mail today. And so I have to go to the doctor tomorrow so they can teach me how to stick a needle in my dick without me passing out. Yeah, have fun with that. I can't help you with that.

I'm as everyone knows i'm not i'm not the nurse no it's well it's been six months since my actually exactly yeah six months today exactly so and my urologist said i should be getting um erections back between six and 12 months and so i i should today's the day i should start expecting it although we we were in the hot tub last weekend and we started making out yeah and of course we didn't have any clothes on and i was you know when you're in a hot tub it's it's like gravity free i mean you're kind of floating and i didn't realize it but i i reached down and i hit something kind of a little bit stiff and i said and i grabbed i didn't even say anything to you i think i just grabbed your hand you did you just grabbed my hand yeah and i said i think it's hard i think it's getting hard you said is it bigger than normal and i'm like yeah and you're like okay i Yeah.

I just want to, I want a confirmation. And then you squeezed it and all the blood went out of it. But it was a good sign. Yeah. Yeah. So, so hopefully this, um, once I get understand how this tri mix works, done a lot of research, talk to my doctors on, on this and we're going to give that a try until we're gonna give that a try until you have some friends that have used it yeah so yeah you've got a lot of feedback i have some friends that use it that still have their prostate and said they love it and they'll continue to use it yeah well hopefully it will work and the dosage will be right.

And like, I just, you know, I can, I get concerned about things going wrong. So we'll just be careful and you have an antidote that you take, right? You picked up the antidote, right? No, I'm picking it up tomorrow. Okay. Sorry. Now y'all get to hear me nag. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry, that's not sexy but i your health is more important to me than anything i got the smallest dose i know they're gonna test me at the doctor's office so i'm gonna come home with wood from the doctor's office and then i got the cito fudo fifreferrin whatever the the antidote is i think it's prescription grade pseudofed okay yeah and then emergency room if that works i got it i mean i'm not gonna lie i'm looking forward to it but i don't want to do it at the expense of your health yeah so anyway that's health update we're making progress um nashville man what a party that was we had uh we got a thing event with about 60 couples in nashville what two or three weeks ago now yeah and uh end of september beautiful weather was warm during the day we stayed a couple miles away miles away from Broadway from the downtown.

Yeah. Cause we kind of booked at the last minute. So, but the hotel was really nice. It was just too much. We were near Vanderbilt university. If you guys know Nashville. Yes. Um, which is a really pretty area. Yeah. The football stadium was right behind the hotel and they were out of town that weekend. Thank goodness. I know. That would have been crazy. Yeah, so Thursday night, we went to, somebody found the bar called Proof. Yeah, it was a rooftop bar on the top of the W Hotel. Yeah, and you could see all of downtown Nashville from the top of that. Oh, my gosh. That was a beautiful bar.

And then, like, it was nice out, so the whole exterior of it was like open out on these terraces on this rooftop and yeah the whole Nashville skyline it was awesome yeah so we did that Thursday night um Friday you and I walked downtown and they had good drinks there but the server was the bartender was a little fussy she was fe. You got in trouble more than once that night, I think. I was standing in the wrong place at the bar. It was pretty funny. And then she thought I was somebody else and wanted me to close out my ticket. She was funny. And she disappeared. I think she took off early.

But we had a good time there. And then Friday night we went to the Hard Rock. We had rented out an entire section of the Hard Rock Cafe, right down on the water in Nashville. It was beautiful. It was a really neat space. It had a big outdoor space, and they had heaters out there. Which they weren't necessary, really. Yeah, it was chilly that night. Was it? Yeah. But anyway, it was really fun there. It was a good time because we had a private space and we got to meet and mingle. But the funnest part about that was after we left the Hard Rock, we all walked to Printer's Alley. Yeah.

I think there were like eight people in our party, six or eight people in our party when when we walked down there and we knew a bunch of people from our group had already gone down that way and we walked into this bar and it was so crowded it was the bourbon bourbon street blues yeah boogie boogie bar or something like that and it was so crowded like I immediately felt claustrophobic and I mean I'm a short girl so like everybody was above my head and you led the way and you just drug me and then I held the hand you know the person behind me and we literally just like snaked our way through and we had to go upstairs and I'm trying to to yell because it was loud.

You know, there's live music. And I was trying to yell at you like, how do you know where you're going? And then finally, I think you turned around and you said, I don't. I'm like, oh my gosh, like we're going to get trapped in here. You have to keep moving when you're in a bar like that. You can't stop. So I was pulling you through and then we wound around and went upstairs and found our group. And then the group was right there. It's like you knew where you were going the whole time. I knew they were in there. Just had to keep walking.

You'd have to act like you know what you're doing sometimes. But once we got up there, it really wasn't all that crowded. No, it was fun. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, we did some bar hopping that night. And then Saturday afternoon, we did a workshop, a fun workshop with Mickey and Mallory from Casual Swinger. Yeah. And we did a little bit of role playing. And it was about, what did we call it? It was about voices in your head. Yeah, it was about letting the voices in your head out. Yeah. And so Mallory and I were partners and then you and Mickey were partners.

And we stood up and we approached each other like we were wanting to meet each other at a club, but we said out loud the things that were in our head. So I would say, oh my gosh, she's really beautiful. She's not going to want to talk to me or she's so much younger than I am. She probably thinks I'm an old man creeper, you know, and I'm saying this, these things out loud. And then she's saying things out loud that are going on in her head. Right. And we did that. And then you and Mickey did the same thing. Right.

And then we asked for volunteers and coerced people to come up, but it got really fun after a while because people realized that they weren't the only ones that are thinking these things that we all have the same thoughts maybe thoughts about different things but it's all the same crap in your head i'm not good enough i'm too old i'm too fat or i should have gone to the gym more or you know like he's so funny and i'm so boring like i have no idea you know how to start a conversation with him. Or just, it's all dumb stuff that you're totally psyching yourself out on.

Where if you could just like relax and just be yourself, you would find something to talk about. Yeah. So we had some volunteers come up and we gave them homework.

Then they had to go meet somebody that they hadn't met yet and work through work through those voices inside their head yeah it was cool you know our group what i what i noticed every time we do one of these weekends i'm like oh my gosh this is the best group of people ever like we should just stop now we'll never have this fun of a group again and it always turns out to be awesome and like we didn't know most of the couples that came to nashville um it was a lot a lot of new people yeah um so you don't you don't really know what to expect and they they gelled together so well yeah and they weren't shy no like you know like we even had like little gift cards to hand out and like you know little tiny prizes to get to coerce people to come up and do the role playing.

And it really wasn't that difficult to get them up there, even without the stuff, although we gave them the stuff. But, yeah, it was really fun. Yeah. Then after that, we split into smaller groups and went out to dinner.

And then we got an opportunity to visit the red room yes which is a new well semi-new lifestyle club in nashville yeah we have to say a special thank you to rosie and her crew she um a lot of times when we try to meet and make arrangements with these clubs they either don't know who we are or they don't they're not in they don't seem to be too motivated to work with us and it works out but it's a lot of work she'd like embraced us from the very beginning she she made us a great offer she gave us a vip area or two and then we did some in our community we had a chat set up just for nashville and and she even came into our our zoom chat one night and met everybody and told everybody about the club and answered questions because like you said there were a lot of new people and it was nice to have the owner pop in and just you know reassure everybody of how things work because like clubs you know it's kind of a lot of work to go to a club for the first time because you got to apply for a membership and then you have to buy your event tickets.

And then we had a promo code and, you know, is it BYOB and you know, how do the playrooms work? Like there's just so many questions that even if you've been to clubs before, if it's the first time at a, at a new club, you know, everybody does things slightly different. So she was like super helpful by coming on that chat. And they had their largest attendance ever that night. Yeah.

different so she was like super helpful by coming on that chat and uh they had their largest attendance ever yeah that night yeah uh it was a great it's a big club so so it handled all of us i think it hold didn't she say like 300 and something people yeah yeah i think we had almost 300 people and um the music was good the dj was awesome it was good music and it wasn't stupid loud. Right. You know, you could actually talk. And here's the brilliant, another brilliant thing about Rosie and her club.

Of course, it was very clean and we had a good time, but they actually let you do a one week membership. Yeah. Most clubs you have to do six months or a year.

And when you come in out of town that's a lot you know to pay for one night going to the club so yeah i mean especially a destination like nashville yeah a lot of people go to nashville and it was only about what 15 minutes out of town yeah it wasn't too bad it wasn't a bad uber ride yeah and yeah like you said it was decorated well like it was really clean um the ladies room was awesome they had like you walked in and there was actually like a dressing room and like the first part of the bathroom um where they had like little areas where you could like hang clothes and then there were silk curtains like if you wanted privacy you could close the silk curtain she had a vanity and she actually had like a curling iron there and some hair products.

Like if you need to touch up your makeup or your hair got wonky, you know, cause sometimes you get sex hair and you want to fix your sex hair. Um, and then of course it had restrooms too. So I really appreciated the thoughtfulness that went into that, you know, into that lady's changing area. Yeah.

So if you're ever in nashville oh wait we didn't even talk about the playrooms like the playrooms were pretty cool too right so i saw something new that i had never seen before you did oh that's right they had a ladies glory hole a female glory hole a female glory hole you'll have to describe it because I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around it. It kind of looked like a puppet stage. Like it was in the corner and it was tall. It went top to bottom. And then it had a hole like in the middle of it, like it would be a puppet stage.

Like there would be people behind it, you know, and then the puppets would be out.

But the opening had like a bed kind of on the bottom of it so you would you would kind of like slide in and then there were i think there were like places to hold on so you'd basically be sitting up um but your head your torso would be behind this like wall and then your legs would be sticking out and then they had if you wanted to they had like stirrups that you could like put your ankles in to kind of like help hold your legs up and then you were kind of like out there in all your glory that's why it's called glory hole yes so yeah i had never seen that before and then they had a regular glory hole i think in another part for guys um but yeah that was pretty cool and you know i think i don't know if it's tennessee or just nashville but you know they can't have beds in their playrooms it's against the code right so she had all of these like couches they kind of look like futons in a way like if you have a futon and you pull it out and it's kind of like a double wide couch you know so she that that's really kind of what she had set up and then she had a really cool like dungeon room um she had that that frosted glass so it was like a silhouette room where you could like go in the room and either dance or do your thing and people could watch your silhouette there were lots of cool things in there and i i got so caught up with visiting with people and dancing and everything that i never went back into the playrooms after people started playing but i understand that some people made it back there and there was some eight or ten or twelve hand massages going on i think a lot of people made it back there yeah yeah so yeah please um highly recommend yes the red room and rosie and just tell her that the jones has sent you and uh she'll give you a hug because she's very friendly yes and her workers are too actually one of her workers uh is from near where we live here so she was very sweet and her husband worked there too so it it's a good crew.

Yeah. Yes. And so we spent a lot of time on Broadway. We didn't leave until Sunday night. So we were able to spend the day back down on Broadway. Yeah. Well, and we got to go to the Dragon Brunch again. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. We went to Susie Wong's. That's right. And it was full. Well, they had remodeled it since we were in there the last time. So it was a little bit bigger. And there were all of these tables, of course, of bridesmaids for bachelorette parties. Right. And then there was one table celebrating a divorce. Yes.

And I know that the ex-husband's name was josh because at the on the count of three we all said fuck you josh yes but the first the first lady quote-unquote that came out was dressed as dolly parton and she was the emcee and so she went around to every table asking what they were celebrating right there were There were some birthdays. She would do it, yes. So we're the only table where there's six middle-aged, eight middle-aged people, four couples. And unbeknownst to me, I had been designated as the spokesperson because I was sitting on the end and I had my chair turned around.

anyway she and we were all looking at each other and i'm and we were like we're not talking i'm not talking yeah and then somebody said make him talk yeah so she said what are y'all here celebrating and i said we're on a marriage enrichment weekend and she didn't even miss a beat she said y'all just want you to know that's just fancy talk for a bunch of swingers I don't know.

enrichment weekend and she didn't even miss a beat she said y'all just want you to know that's just fancy talk for a bunch of swingers and i didn't deny it we all started laughing everybody laughed and hooted and were hooting and hollering and she's like why else would four married people be at a dragon brunch you know and there was a there was a gay guy table, too. Yes. Yeah. But it was a lot of fun. It was. It was very entertaining. And she said, after she said, y'all were a bunch of swingers, she said, and she said, and ooh, aren't you a sexy, silver-haired fox daddy? Not silver-haired.

Sexy, silver fox daddy. Yes. I don't know.

I've been called that daddy thing before in Las Vegasgas and it's kind of sticking i think in a very weird way yeah and one one funny story before we move on uh we like you said we were in a hotel right near near the vanderbilt and we had given everybody name tags but they just had their first names on them they were nondescript but we also gave people um wgt wristband so that when you were out and about in nashville uh or at the club you could identify people that were in our group and they're orange and it doesn't say they were red yeah right and it doesn't say we got a thing it just says wgt on it so one of the couples in he said, you're not going to believe what happened.

We got on the elevator and somebody had a red wristband on and they started asking me questions like, where am I from? And I didn't think they looked like they were in our group, but they had red wristbands on. And they asked me where I was from and what we were doing here for the weekend.

And I said, oh we just met a people here we're here for the weekend partying and and it turns out that it was vanderbilt parents weekend and they had given the parents red wristbands as well yeah so he said he said i'm thank goodness i didn't try to hug her or kiss her or something i would have got punched in the face. Yeah, I guess red's a popular color. I might need to switch that up next time. Yeah. So Las Vegas, that was a success. We hadn't been there since 2019. No, Nashville was a success. What did I say? Las Vegas. Oh, yeah, that was a success too. Nashville was a success.

And we were there in 2019. That part I got right. Yeah. Yeah, that was a long time ago. Yeah, so we'll be back. All right. Anything else? Did we miss anything? That's pretty much what we've been up to. We did a local event. Our Mid-Atlantic group here in our community did an event to a winery, and we got to meet some new friends there. Oh, really nice yeah okay so when we come back we're going to get into deal breakers welcome back to segment two which i'm going to call Deal Breakers 101. Okay. It's too easy, babe. I just got to do it. I'm a teacher. All right.

So what's the difference in Deal Breakers and Red Flags? Well, I guess that's kind of what I struggled with when you first brought this up. But I think, you know, red flags probably differ more for for everyone you know and i think those are more like individual circumstances that that pop up when you're interacting with somebody and when i when i think of red flags i kind of think maybe further along in the think, though, the deal breakers that we've kind of come up with will kind of make themselves, like, noticeable from the get-go. Yeah.

Red flags, sometimes it takes a collection of red flags before you opt out or make a decision. Yeah. And to me, red flags are kind of almost like right up to the moment if you're if you're planning on sexually engaging or during or yeah or during right where where deal breakers are we're not even out of the starting blocks we're not even we don't get to start the race would it be correct to say that um uh deal breakers deal breakers are red flags, but red flags aren't necessarily deal breakers. Yes. Okay.

So, so these are things that, and by the way, our disclaimer is that these are our deal breakers. Yeah, they are our deal breakers, but I think in the bigger picture, everybody has deal breakers, you know are our deal breakers but i think in the bigger picture everybody has deal breakers you know what the specifics are um are going to vary just kind of depending on your personality and and where you are in life i guess but but everybody's going to have deal breakers and they and they probably usually center around the same types of situations, I should say.

And we have a, we have a saying, you do, you have a saying, you say a deal breaker keeps you, it puts you on the WNF list. Yes. The will not fuck list. And another, and it doesn't matter how, how nice you are, how cute you are. If there's just certain things, then you just can't get past those. It's also notable that we should say that a deal breaker is a deal breaker in the moment. That doesn't mean that in the future, it might not be a deal breaker anymore. Okay. That was a lot of dead space. Sorry.

Well well we'll let you noodle that one through yeah maybe we'll come to a conclusion that wasn't in your outline honey i know i just threw you a curveball you did all right so we've just got a few of these actually four yes i think the first three kind of go together okay let's Let's not complicate things. Let's stick with one, two, three, four for my sake. Let's get into it. Number one, and this is probably the top at a lot of people's lists. Yeah. And that is the need to discuss emotionally charged topics, which...

And in today's society, there's plenty of them um i i guess the you and i kind of narrowed it down to two big overarching topics that can really polarize people yes and that's religion and politics correct and we actually have that in our community guidelines, don't we? We're not allowed to talk about that stuff. Well, we avoid expressing political opinions and religious beliefs. They can be discussed as long as it's done respectfully and cordially, but... Right. And that's the problem.

Like, I'm going to sound like an old grumpy person, But that's a problem these days is that it's people have lost the art of debate and they've lost everything so emotionally charged, like you said at the beginning. And it's hard to be polite and respectful and at least attempt to hear somebody else's viewpoint. Yeah. And because it is so polarizing, it's polarizing in the bedroom as well. Yeah.

Because if, if you are, no matter what side of the aisle you're on, or even if you're in the middle, if you have, if you express your opinions and your beliefs, you should expect to know that you're alienating or eliminating about 50% or more of the population from getting to know and potentially having sex with. Right. Right.

And so when you choose to indicate to people that that's why the deal breaker is not the topic itself the deal breaker is the need to discuss the topic in a lifestyle setting right because i think there's a lot funner things to talk about than politics or religion or whatever else the hot button topic would be yeah topic would be. That kind of stuff needs to be put away when you're getting ready to go out on a lifestyle date. You don't need to bring that with you.

I mean, everybody has their own views, but if you think that when you're trying to meet a couple in the lifestyle and connect and make friends and possibly play partners, if you think politics and religion is more important than that, Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.

lifestyle and connect and make friends and possibly play partners if you think politics and religion is more important than that you're probably not in the right place yeah and i guess um you know that if you're going to end up like connecting with a couple and becoming friends with them and then you kind of feel them out and you and you realize you have the same views can you never talk about religion or politics that's not what we're saying at all we're just saying that's really not a good way to lead yeah um with any kind of controversial topic right don't especially don't lead with that because then nobody knows anything about you right and that's what they're gonna're going to remember.

Well, because that's the only thing that's going to occur. The conversation is going to be over at that point in time. Yeah. She's got great boobs, but boy, she couldn't shut up about whatever. Yeah. And so part of the feedback that we got from this, because our, um, somebody in our community did ask if they could throw this out for discussion and I'm proud of our community to say that it was discussed cordially and respectfully and we pulled a lot out of it. You know, like some of the comments... Well, now, what did the person throw out there? I mean, kind of explain how it was set up.

They didn't just start talking about religion or politics. They started talking about it would how would you react yes this came up yes like on a first date yes so and he put a disclaimer out that you know this was about how would you respond in this situation and it's not necessarily for you to express your views and let's have a civil and respectful conversation around it. And that's what happened. And so some of the comments were, and I thought this was really a good point, you can generally get a good idea of how others' ideals align with yours just by getting to know them. Right.

You know, you don't have to bring up politics. In the conversations about hobbies and, you know, community service and, you know, what you do on the weekends. I mean, it's going to come out that you'll get a pretty good idea of where people stand without it having to be, oh, I'm a Democrat or I'm a Republican or what are you? Right, right. It doesn't have to go to that drastic of a place. And another comment was, you know what? We're not likely to see eye to eye on 100% of things with people anyway.

So we shouldn't have this expectation that, I guess the other side of the coin is, people don't have to align with our views 100% in order for us to connect and be friends. That's almost impossible. Then you're eliminating more than 50% of the people out there. Right. You know, so accepting that and putting it into its proper context in the lifestyle is what people were recommending. Yeah.

So, you know, along with these, like, emotionally charged topics that, you know, we should probably avoid, the other thing that kind of falls in line with that is having an opinion and being close-minded about anything outside of your opinion. Okay, so we're moving on to item number two. Yeah, I think so. Like, I mean, but to me, all of these kind of flow right together. Right. You know, when you run into somebody that just doesn't have the ability to kind of see outside of their own little bubble in which they live. Right.

You know, I guess we're talking about closed-minded people or judgmental people and and i think we would say generally speaking that this category of people are generally newer to the lifestyle yeah because i mean i admit that i am more open-minded and less judgmental now than i was nine years ago when we got into this oh too. Just because we're having experiences with people that are in these categories that we previously had thoughts around that were negative or that we would hold people in judgment.

Well, and in hindsight, the only reason we would have negative thoughts about these things is because we had never like been exposed before right and we didn't understand but so whenever you whenever your face was something that you're unfamiliar with or you don't understand it you kind of back away from it well and that's how most society is and and people tend to get in trouble when they make when they make statements or laws or policies or, or that, and they've never really lived in those people's shoes. Right. Or they've never really, in the lifestyle, we're meeting all kinds of people.

Well, I mean, for example, like polyamory, the way that you engage in the lifestyle, like if you're polyamorous or bdsm or mmfs or dating separately you know these things that originally when we got into this we said not only did we say we would never do it which is not the right word to ever say but we just didn't didn't understand that that could be a healthy way to engage in the lifestyle. Right. Right.

Um, and I think the thing that I enjoy when I, when I run into people and maybe they don't have, um, any exposure to let's say polyamory and, you know, and, and it comes up in topic instead of them saying, oh my gosh, I would never do that. Those people are crazy. They're going to ruin their marriages, blah. You know, if you can just be open-minded and talk about it and say, tell me more about it. I don't understand. There's nothing wrong with saying I don't understand, but you know, just listen.

I mean, people have the most fascinating stories and that's all it takes to, to move from being closed-minded to open-minded. Being open-minded doesn't mean you have to like agree with it or subscribe to it. It just means you have to listen and try to learn. And I think the lifestyle gives us the opportunity to engage with people like that.

Because if we did not choose to be in the lifestyle, we probably would not even know that the people that we are meeting on the street or at church or at school or at work are even in polyamorous relationship because they don't talk about it because it's taboo or they may not talk about it.

And the example that I'm thinking about, we've had friends that we got to know first and we knew them intimately and then they became polyamorous or they started dating separately and then there was like this they were like well wait a minute we know them we've observed them they love each other they have a loving relationship they're normal people just like us and they're choosing to do this. So there was this like a dawning on me that, boy, did I have that wrong or boy did now that, not that I had it wrong. I just didn't understand it.

Now I watch them and we're friends with them and I watch how they interact and I watch how they live and I see how they feel about each other. You can't fake that stuff. Right. Or the couple that we know that then started playing separately and they, the way they described that it was so erotic and it was so hot for them. And, and so we've been exposed to a community of people, the larger community who choose to do things differently that we love and adore and have friendships with. And through that way, we've become, I've become more open-minded. Oh yeah.

I mean, especially in the whole like lifestyle arena that you're talking about right now. Like I, when we first started in lifestyle, I'm like, we are married.

Our marriage is the most important thing and we're going to do everything together or you know or we're just not going to do it because other people they're they're just playing with fire and you know blah on my soap box yeah you know i was ridiculous and um now we still don't do a lot of those things but i, I understand it more now because I've listened to my friends tell me about it and, and I've watched them, you know, experience it and, and they're fine. Like they're doing great. They're happy. So what's the deal breaker here?

The deal breaker here is that when we hear people say things regarding a particular race, or ethnicity, or age group, or a certain type of sexuality, or a certain socioeconomic status, that's a turnoff. Right. Because they're categorizing people in sort of a negative way. Right.

But I think this an area that because we've just talked about i've just talked about how i've grown in this area so this is when i told you earlier that there could be something that's a deal breaker initially but then after people get in and have these experiences and they become more open-minded and they become less judgmental then it's not a deal-breaker right but the reason it's a deal-breaker now honey is because like we meet these people i don't know like at an event and you know and we're on like our first date with them and all of a sudden this stuff comes up and you know maybe they are new in the lifestyle and maybe they don't really understand yet just like we didn't understand nine years ago right but for me now i'm gonna have trouble with that right so for me now that's a deal breaker right for it doesn't mean they're horrible people right it just means that that's not gonna work for me, you know, I have a family member in a certain situation and they just criticize whatever that is.

Yeah. And, you know, that hurts me. They don't know that about me. But, you know, that kind of stuff is going to come up. And I guess that's the beauty of the lifestyle. You know, you have the ability to move on. You and I are fine. Well, it doesn't come up all the time. But if it does come up, it's usually a red, a deal breaker. Yeah. Because people bring it up a lot of times in a flippant way, kind of an arrogant way, or kind of in a way that there's an assumption that we all believe the same thing. Yeah. And we don't. I think that's it. it.

But again, these are people that this is how society and family and friends have molded them and their belief system have molded them. And we can't go bashing them because there's a way for people to grow and evolve just through experiencing it, I think is what we're saying. Right. And it's a deal breaker for some people. It might be a turn on for others, you know.

But you are, if you're like tiptoeing into this dangerous territory, no matter what side of the fence you are on any of these social topics um you're you're potentially eliminating people yeah so i think the whole thing about deal breakers is it there there's a way for you to not be a polarizing person right you just avoid those topics right and you just talk about fun stuff right what concert did you see this summer or know, what beach did you take your family to on vacation? Or I don't know. You know, just try to avoid these topics that can really hurt feelings. Yeah. Yeah.

So that leads us into the third deal breaker. Being tone deaf.

Yeah, I think this might be the hardest one to fix yeah this is this is there you remember one time we we studied a book called um seeing black and white in a world of gray no you got that totally backwards seeing gray in a world of black and white okay yeah it's same same thing but yeah because people can only see black and white but the world is gray is what i was saying right so we need to see gray in the world of black and white and i think people that are tone deaf tend to just be very black and white yes um because it's very easy but but it's also there's not a lot of um there's an inability to read the room yeah no matter what it is a virtual room a lifestyle room a four-way conversation yeah you know some people walk in and they don't pick up on the cues that are given them and the conversation can be disjointed and it just seems like, like, where are you coming from and why are you saying these things?

Yeah. You know how they say, you know, somebody can clear the room, you know, with a bad comment. Yeah. You know, I think that's, that's what happens sometimes. They don't, they don't understand that they're the reason the conversation just came to a dead halt. Right. And because, and when they can't read the room they also can't read body language yeah to which um in a lifestyle setting that's kind of a big deal that's a key yeah because if somebody's a big deal breaker yes good one honey because if i'm i'm towering over top of you and getting closer to you yeah and you continue to back away.

Yeah. And I'm a short girl, so that happens a lot. Right. And not only maybe can I not read body language, but I'm not responding to you moving away. Like, I just see it as, oh, I got to move closer now. I got to move closer now. There's no, there's no realization that you're moving away because of something I'm doing. It's just, okay, she's moving away. Therefore, I'm going to move closer. Right. And so I don't, I don't know if that's fixable. Yeah.

That's just like an, like a social skill that they don't have, you know, and I guess maybe you can learn that over time if you get rejected enough, but yeah, that one's a tough one because that's not something that you can redirect because that person is unaware. Right.

I'm not going to say they're stupid or they're whatever they're just they're unaware and we we all have um quirks about us right um but that that's a quirk that is really kind of an obstacle in a lifestyle setting right and then it gets even worse okay we'll cut you some slack you don't read body language cut you a little bit more slack because you're not responding but then when there are comments made and they still don't pick up on the fact that you're talking about them or to them yeah you know then it it it gets even a little bit worse definitely a deal breaker yeah and and i have to, I feel like we've been like negative Nellies the whole night, but I have to say we, you don't run into these people very often, but I think the message that we're kind of trying to get at is, you know, this, this doesn't have to be your responsibility to fix.

Sometimes these things just aren't fixable. It just means you're not compatible. They're, they're deal breakers. Right. I mean, you never know what makes somebody tick. And especially when you're, when you've been on this earth for 30 or 40 or 50 or more years, it, you're, it's not used, it's not worth getting into the, how am I going to fix this person? Right. It's just, you just need to move on. Right. So if you want it to be a positive spin, hey, we saved you some time. That's right. It's not all negative. That's right. That's a positive.

Well, speaking of negative things, I mean, this, this isn this isn't well it kind of is the whole along those whole tone deaf lines is sometimes you run into people and it's all they can do is like be negative yeah yeah and and you know you try to put a interject and kind of put a positive spin on it and they just you know they're like eeyore they're just woe is me and there's just a dark cloud hanging over their head and and i'm not Thank you.

Thank first date but you know as you become friends with people like we all have bad things that have happened that you might end up sharing with people and that's certainly you know i guess allowed or whatever i mean it's your friendship then you you know you can kind of talk about whatever you want but when when you're trying to get to know somebody and they're just constantly negative about themselves or about you know their the situation whatever it may be it sucks all the energy out of the room it does it does and sometimes people just are really unaware that they're doing it yeah and the lifestyle is all about energy you know and finding that yeah that's a good point finding energy and connecting with people who have energy and when people are tone deaf or constantly negative you know then you're it's like oh gosh i, I don't even, why am I here?

I'm ready for bed. Yeah. Yeah. When you have to try too hard to like keep things moving in a positive direction, it's exhausting. And the issue here is because they're unaware, then they're going to be unaware of you trying to help them. So it's not even worth it. It's not your job. They have a spouse or there's other people in their lives that may point this out. Or there might be other people at the event that it works for them. Hey, maybe the tone-deaf people get together and they're fine. But we're saying that it's a, you know, if you can't adapt, we're not going to connect. Right.

That's human nature. It's not a knock on anybody. If that's the way you are, it's a deal breaker. We're not going to connect. It's a deal breaker for us. Yes. For us. Right. The last one, we are on number four, right? Yeah. This one is fixable, I think. Yeah, and this is a typical newbie mistake. Right. Because we all are trying to figure it out when we first get in the lifestyle, and it's just, it's easy. You try too hard. Yep. There are people who just try too hard. Yep. You know, they're assertive, maybe not aggressive, but assertive. I would say they talk more than they listen. Yeah.

Because they're nervous. Yeah, well, there's probably a lot of reasons why they're like that, but they're just, they're overbearing in their physical presence a lot. Like, they need to be large and in charge. Well, there's some people that, yeah, that's their just general personalities. that probably doesn't have anything to do with being nervous right or new but i think the the thing that really stands out is there they seem to be really like goal oriented uh oh i'm totally remembering our trip to desire rm and the couple we ran into yeah she was very goal-oriented. Yeah.

And it was, they were trying too hard with us and we were new and scared to death. Yeah. So we were definitely the wallflower, or I was the wallflower that was just shriveling away. You were kind of like enjoying it and just laughing. Right.

And sometimes it's almost like, there's a little bit of desperation behind that yeah and i don't want to be somebody's consolation prize i mean i don't i don't look i get it i get it you know you go to a party you got to get a babysitter you get out once a month you know the clock is ticking couples are pairing up you know i i clock is ticking, couples are pairing up. You know, I, I get that.

However, where we're, where we're coming from is that longevity and patience and perseverance gets you more of what you're looking for, ironically, than being assertive and just trying way too hard yeah so it's it's one of these things that and you know single guys get this rap too you know speaking of not just couples but single guys come across as being this way yeah as is they're just well they don't even have a wing man or wing woman to help them out no they're flying blind you know there were um there were single guys that's what i was gonna say yeah there were single guys at the red room in nashville last month and they um i think they had a maximum of and i'm gonna say seven i could be completely wrong they have a maximum of single guys that can attend on any given night um so that's good so the place doesn't get overrun with single guys but there's single guys there if that's what you're looking for so that's kind of cool there were three types of single guys there okay i didn't really pay attention oh i did i figured i'm a people watcher Thank you.

So that's kind of cool. There were three types of single guys there. Okay. I didn't really pay attention. Oh, I did. I figured you did. I'm a people watcher. So they had to sit at the bar. So there's the guy, type number one, the guy that just sits there with his drink all night, doesn't say anything to anybody. And he's hoping that a couple is just going to walk up to him. Or do you think he's a voyeur and he isn't even really interested in playing? Honey, there's nothing you can voyeur from the bar Thank you. He's hoping that a couple is just going to walk up to him.

Or do you think he's a voyeur and he isn't even really interested in playing? Honey, there's nothing you can voyeur from the bar except for people having fun except for you. Oh, that's true. Okay. So he's sitting there either shy or he thinks his ploy is I'm just not going to be the assertive one. So people will come to me. Was he super good looking? I don't want to get into that. That's a whole different thing. I don't know. I don me. Was he super good looking? I don't want to get into that. That's a whole different topic. Well, maybe that was his ego.

I'm just saying that there were multiple guys there. Okay, all right, keep going. Thank you. The second guy was the guy who was standing at the corner of the bar with his legs spread apart, facing out into the crowd with his shirt unbuttoned, his jacket pulled open, and his hand on his hips, surveying, waiting for the next fresh meat to walk by so that he could stand in front of you and block your path and try to get your attention. That was guy number two. Okay, polar opposites. Yep.

Guy number three was also standing at the bar, on the bar chatting with the people next to him in his own circle chatting with the bartender chatting with the guy next to him chatting with a couple that happened to be there ordering a drink that's all that's the guy that's going to get the couple yeah for sure so but but so a lot of single guys try too hard and the again this is so ironic and people have actually we have itunes reviews to back up the statement that we're the most boring swingers out there but let me tell you we i would say we're really successful by being patient yeah and being deliberate and getting to know people first and taking our time and and being a little bit um you know we're not trying we don't try hard enough sometimes yeah but but ultimately we end up getting with the people that are trying too hard well the experience is we do have our positive ones i think that's what you're saying.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We're about quality and not quantity. Yeah. So anyway, that's, let me see, make sure. This is, number one was the need to discuss emotionally charged topics. Number two was closed-mindedness or judgmental. Three was being tone deaf. And four was trying too hard. Yeah. Those are deal breakers in case anyone approaches Mrs. Jones. Yeah. Don't talk politics with me. And if you're tall, don't, don't like completely hover over me. Give me a chance to approach you.

I'm going to call you out because there's been a couple of times that once you get a sense a couple has your views, you start going off and I have to grab you by the arm and say, honey. That's usually not the first time I meet somebody. No, it's not. No, they're usually friends. But I'm like, honey, remember, we want to have sex with these people. Touche. I know. Yeah.

It happens to all of us right okay in summary um you know connecting with others and growing your relationships and friendships rises above these deal breakers if you think about it all the the things you just said a minute ago that we're being negative but the positive things that come out of this are our relationship, our connection with each other, meeting new friends, playing with new friends, playing with old friends. All of that stuff is far more important than any of these deal breakers. Right.

You know, it's just that supers supersedes everything right and i and i i think the the biggest takeaway from this as far as i see our growth in the last nine years is the whole never say never you know i used to say we will never do that or i will do that, or I'll never let you do that. Right. And we probably won't do a lot of that stuff, whatever it may be, but I do have much more, I'm much more aligned with the whole never say never philosophy now. You know, we're not gonna just dive into something, but I can at least have a conversation with you about something without panicking. Right.

I also want to say to give a lot of people the benefit of the doubt that a lot of what we've talked about tonight, you know, some folks may hide behind these behaviors just because their insecurities and their lack of confidence or just general experience in the lifestyle. Because if you think about it, general life society, day in and day out, when we're in the car listening to the radio, or when you're at work, these are the things that people talk about. And so I think people get into this, they get nervous, they're in a setting, they don't really understand.

And they start talking about politics. And they're going, shit, why am I doing this? I shouldn't be doing this.

But nervous they're in a setting they don't really understand and they start talking about politics and they're going shit why am I doing this I shouldn't be doing this but but they're nervous and they don't they don't know what else to do so it's possible that it's just a lack of experience and and bad choices of what to talk about yeah so I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt here well I guess the two takeaways I want to leave people with is if this kind of stuff is coming up, then, you know, you have the ability to move on where it's not going to be so exhausting to try to navigate these conversations and get to know people.

And you're going to have a better, find a couple where you have a better sense of comfort with because again if these conversations are uncomfortable then you know how is that going to translate into the bedroom if that's where you end up with these people exactly and then the second thing is if if you're having trouble meeting people and connecting with people i mean maybe do a little self-reflection yeah are you are you talking about these things are you exhibiting some behaviors that could be pushing people away from you and you don't realize it well that you know that might that might hurt a little bit to have to swallow that but but that could be it it might have nothing to do with like the way you look or how you are as a couple.

It could just be like the, you know, just your mannerisms are the things you're choosing to talk about when you're nervous. And where the spouse or the partner can come in here is holding each other accountable. The poor single guys don't have a wingman. They don't have anybody trying to redirect them. But I have, I have seen, we've been in conversations with couples where the, the wife will just nudge her husband and say, okay, we're not going to talk about that anymore. Well, like you just said, you've kicked me before and told me to shut up. Yeah.

Or, or the wife is going to say, honey, I'm tired of getting dressed up every night and you putting a t-shirt and a ball cap on. Let's get with the program if you're serious this because i don't know why this is probably why we're not we're losing some people so there has to be some sort of accountability that's gonna help redirect somebody from changing their behavior and you know these these issues can be discussed just like we we were saying in our community. They can be discussed respectfully and at the right time and at the right setting, if it's in the right context.

But, you know, some of our best friends in the lifestyle, we know we do not agree with on some of these topics. Right. But we don't talk about it when we're with them. And we've been friends with them for years. Right. But I think they know that we feel a different way. And we know that they, I mean, we're friends on Facebook and I've seen stuff. Right. You know, so, but we don't talk about it. And therefore, it doesn't affect our relationship at all. No. Because we respect each other. Right.

And we give each other the freedom to have our own opinions as long as we don't shove them down each other's throats. Yeah. Well, we know they care about us. Yeah. And we care about them. That's what I said. That trumps the other issues because it's more important and we know that. So it really helps the other stuff fade into the background. It puts it all into context. And I have a theory. So here's my final thought.

I have a theory that what we've noticed after being in the lifestyle for nine years and have this community for a few years is that, especially with religion, religion doesn't, in our circles, religion doesn't seem to be the hot topic as much as politics is right now. Well, we do live in Washington, D.C. That's true. But what I'm saying is that let's just take religion. We're created to believe what we believe. We're brought up by our parents and our Sunday school teachers, or you go to church or whatever, and you have these views that are molded into you, and then you get older.

People that get into the lifestyle, a lot of people who are people of faith that get in the lifestyle have to struggle with this thing about the lifestyle doesn't match what I've been taught. And there has to be some sort of a reconciliation. So we get into the lifestyle and it's, and we meet great people and it's a positive experience and we feel better about ourselves. And then all of a sudden we realize, wait a minute, that religion that I was taught wasn't, either I didn't understand it, it wasn't taught to me the right way, or it's wrong.

And I have therefore evolved my thinking in the area. Well, I think we learn to create our own relationships with whatever deity we believe in.

Yeah, but what I'm saying is people have to face up to that they have to work through it right i don't think we do that as much in the political side but if we did i think we'd have the same result and that's why i think in our community the people that know each other and have and care about each other and and have met each other and some of them are friends it was easy for them to discuss this i was nervous when the guy wanted to talk about this because i'm like oh gosh you know what is this going to devolve to and it didn't devolve it stayed at a very respectful level and i realized they're all keeping it in the proper context And that's difficult to do in society.

So I think the lifestyle. Well, it's the whole think before you speak. Yeah. You know, it's refreshing. Yeah. Well, it makes you question your views and what you believe and why you believe things. Yeah. Because sex is a pretty powerful deterrent or motivator I should say well and why you believe things because sex is a pretty powerful deterrent or motivator, I should say. Well, and like you said a few minutes ago, like when you're in the lifestyle, you've already had hard conversations with yourself about all kinds of stuff. You know, why are we in this?

What do we potentially do into our relationship? So if you can have, if you can noodle that kind of stuff through know why are we in this what do we potentially do into our relationship right so if you can have if you can noodle that kind of stuff through right then you can certainly figure out that politics and hot topics like religion and and you're you're feeling on all the different demographics in our society like those opinions are just not worth worth causing rifts between people. You guys who don't live in D.C. are lucky. I mean, our local news is political.

Everything is Washington, D.C. And I worked in the government, so I even worked in it. So we're immersed in it. And I think we've overcome it, so if we can do it, anybody can. Yeah. I just need to put it away because that's the only time you can get away from it. Yeah. Okay. All right. Those are the four deal breakers. So your homework assignment is to talk about what are your deal breakers if you have any. Right. And make sure that you do everything in your power to stay off of everybody's WNF list. You want to be on. You want to be on the WNF list. You don't want to be on the list.

You got to stay off the list. You want to be on the WF list, the will fuck list. Wanna fuck. Yeah, so really, this is a public service. We're trying to help you all stay on the right list. That's right. And that's going to be good for us. The more people that own that list, the better. All right. When we come back, we're going to talk about a couple of snapshots and then wrap up. What did you call this episode? Deal Breakers 101. 101.

welcome back to snapshots you cannot go to nashville and not come home without a couple snapshots i'm hoping that these are the last two snapshots that don't involve us having sex yeah not having sex yeah well okay so speaking of that like it's been six months as you just said today i mean six months today and it's really like we're just in an awkward spot because we're going through this health issue with you that is affecting affecting our sex life, which, you know, that's, of course, going to weigh on any married couple.

But here we are, a married couple with a podcast about, you know, marriage relationships and sexuality and opening your marriage and everything else we talk about. And here we are not having sex in the traditional sense, right? So, but we've been, we've stayed engaged in the lifestyle. So like we've been to Las Vegas and then we went to Mexico. So we've done these big events and we're watching everybody else like hook up and have fun and, and this and that. And, and, you know, you and I really aren't engaging with anybody right now. Or each other. Well, right. Right.

Um, so we've got to, you know, it's just been kind of weird to watch it all going on around us and being on the periphery and still managing to have fun. And I honestly, I struggled with that. I mean, I had fun in Las Vegas and I had fun in Mexico, but I kind of felt like we were in the way. Like, I don't know, in my head, I just couldn't quite figure out like how that was all supposed to fit together. But when I went to Nashville, I didn't feel that way. I think I've kind of like reconciled all that in my own head. I've done my own therapy, I guess. And I just, we had fun.

You know, obviously we didn't play with anybody. Kissed a whole lot of people. I kissed a whole lot of people. Yeah. And I touched a whole lot of asses, most with consent. I'm pretty sure there was one without, but she didn't seem to be minding. But your timing was probably off on that whole consent part. But no, so we just, we had fun. Yeah.

Like just amazing people, got to know new people got to reconnect with old friends well what's saving us is that we have a good line of credit yeah i know we have we have so many ious out to people i know and and in all seriousness it would it would be hard i don't know what it would be like going through this I'll see you next time. In all seriousness, it would be hard. I don't know what it would be like going through this without friends that we have already played with. Because it's bad enough as a guy to know that you can't get an erection.

But at least I know the couples that we have played with during this, they know what I'm capable of. I am really pretty good if i can actually get hard so i feel like you know that i i don't feel so bad because i and i know i shouldn't feel that way but i that's why i feel like well at least they know me when i'm operable so maybe they'll have some pity on me and try to have a good time when I can't. No, they'll be patient. Yeah, anyway, enough of that. Yeah, so we didn't play with anybody, but we had a blast. And yes, I kissed a lot of people.

And we actually got to know a couple new couples pretty well that I think we've green-lighted whenever your body's ready to approve the green light. I think we've green-lighted some people. Oh, yeah, there was a female that I kissed towards the end of the night in our VIP area. And it started out as a regular kiss. And then it evolved into a more romantic kiss. And then it was more a sexual kiss. And then I was pulling her close, and then we were breathing deeply, and then we pulled away from each other, and she kind of shook her head a little bit, and I did the same thing.

And what I like about that is that, you know, sex is sex, but it was still fun getting drawn into that mindset and into that mood. At least I know I still desire women and I was still turned on. And, and there were a couple of, you know, times that that happened and I enjoyed it.

And there wasn't any disappointment because I couldn't go any further and it wouldn't, it wouldn't have happened anyway but um it was fun so speaking of that so my my mine's an accidental snapshot and i think you pointed it out this is really my snapshot that you're going to tell about oh well you picked a different one i did but no yours is better i like yours too yeah but yours is yours is hilarious. So we were at that printer's alley bar that we talked about earlier that we probably screwed up the name that I had to pull you through the crowd and we made it upstairs.

And we stood along the rail most of the evening and drank. And then there was a couch behind us that had a little table. And it was a curved shaped couch. It was like a booth, like a U-shaped booth. Yeah. And there was a lady sitting there that I didn't really know very well. And a seat opened up. And I had been standing for a long time. So I said, I invited myself over to sit next to her.

And then I remember asking her consent if I could put my hand on her like i did ask her because she did have a cute short black dress on had a sexy dress on she was very pretty she said absolutely it's okay and so i was really focused on her and then all of a sudden i realized another lady sat down on my left and and then you sat down on her left, and then there was another lady who sat down to my right beyond the second. And the lady on your left is a good friend of ours. Yeah. But then the other two ladies we didn't know, so that was kind of fun.

So it was two ladies that you did know, and then two ladies you didn't know. Yeah, and I'm just socializing. I'm not even like thinking about it and then all of a sudden you're somebody's taking a picture and i'm like what what is the big deal about the picture and you said i was like uh yeah mr jones like you know the king is like holding court yeah as soon as you said that i went in i'm I'm like, okay, I can play that role. You know, and then I was ridiculous. I know. I did play the Mr. Jones card that night. But then I did realize, hey, I'm sitting here.

You had a lady coming across the table. She stood up and leaned over the table to kiss you goodnight because they were leaving to go to another bar. She kissed me, but she was trying to steal my hotel room card. Your room key? Yeah, she was trying to steal my room key. So we had words. That went on the rest of the weekend, too. I know, it did. It was kind of our little thing. Yeah, I may have been a little bit over-served by that point in time. And we drank a lot that night.

Yeah, so anyway, my snapshot is sitting there in the middle of four beautiful women holding court on Printer's Alley in Nashville. Yeah. It was fun. It was a moment. Yours, I like your snapshot. Okay, you can't make this stuff up. No. So my snapshot, this was a Saturday night. We were at the Red Room Club, and it was, I don't know, I think 1.30 in the morning. We decided to call it and we had friends with us.

We had this little seating area that was ours for the evening and we had friends up there with us and we're like, we think we're going to go ahead and grab an Uber and they're like, oh, we're ready to leave too.

So the four us decided to share an uber to go back to the hotel i interrupt so let me just tell you a quick secondary snapshot so it was fishnet night yes at the club yes i was going to get to that but you go ahead okay and she and you she had fishnets on and she and i were standing next to each other and she's a little shorter than i am so the vip section was two steps up so she was on the top platform and I was on the step down I had my arm around her and I and I put my hand on her fishnet ass and I don't remember if I asked consent for that or not you probably did no I did earlier because I kissed her and I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes and then we kissed and i said so this means i don't have to ask any more consent right and she said right so i had my hand on her ass and it's a perfect little ass and i remember i came over to you and i said honey put your hand here yeah you did feel this you did and i was standing there thank you because i liked it Yeah.

And so I just left my hand there. And at one point in time, feel this. You did. And I was standing there. Thank you, because I liked it. Yeah. And so I just left my hand there. And at one point in time, I went to pull away, and I took my hand off. And she said, she grabbed my hand, and she said, put your hand back on my ass. I said, yes, ma'am. I'll stay here and do what I'm told. So anyway, that's the couple that you were talking about. Right. And it took her a while to get into the fishnet. Yes. That was a dinky little fishnet thing. Yes. It looked like a Barbie doll. Right. Clothed.

So when it was time to leave, it was really warm in Nashville that weekend. So it wasn't like you had to put a coat on to go outside. It was still warm in the middle of the night. So we go out front and the club is in like a strip mall.

So we're standing out like on the sidewalk waiting for our uber to come and there were a couple police cars that were just kind of like parked in the parking lot of the strip mall i think for the club because i think well i think there was a bar next door yeah that was still open as well like just a normal bar and i thought there were cops there like to try to maintain the peace and catch people that might be leaving drunk or something. So my view was a negative one when I saw the cop car. Yeah. So we probably stood outside for, I don't know, what, three minutes to wait for our Uber?

We didn't wait long at all. Three Uber minutes. And our friend still had her fishnet on. She didn't put her normal. I mean, everything was covered. She had a bra on and she had like a little like her boy shorts or something i don't know like obviously the officer knew the club but yes no doubt and unfortunately for me see we have a rule um whoever pays for the uber gets to sit in the back with the ladies right and so he ended up paying for the he beat me He beat me to the Uber, or she did. So I had to sit up front with the driver. Right.

So he got to sit in the middle of the back seat with his wife and I on either side of him. Yeah. So the Uber comes, and we all pile into the Uber. And as soon as we all got in and shut the doors, a police officer walks up to the Uber and he walks up to. And he motions. So he walks up to the back passenger window where my girlfriend was sitting on the other side. Well, the driver was nervous at first because he started walking over and the driver goes, what did I do? I'm just sitting here. What did I do? I'm just sitting here. Right.

So the police officer motioned for my lady friend to roll down her back passenger window. So she did, and he was like, good evening, everybody, how are you guys? And we're like, we're fine. And he stuck his head in the window so he could see me too. And he said, do you ladies feel safe tonight? And I was confused.

And then we were we were both like yeah like we're with our husbands and he's like okay he's like well here you go like you passed the test and he had this roll of stickers and the stickers said police officer on him so he tore and they were like little round stickers kind of like that you would get like when you go vote or something or you like kids at school get a sticker for something so he tears off a sticker and gives one to me and gives one to her You're welcome.

were like little round stickers kind of like that you would get like when you go vote or something or you like kids at school get a sticker for something so he tears off a sticker and gives one to me and gives one to her and he's like okay you guys are deputized you're police officers for the next 24 hours you're certain you're deputized yeah in nashville yep so he's like you guys stay safe and have a good night and then he walked away and we're like what the hell just happened but you guys were those stickers with pride yes the rest of the weekend yeah because when we went back we didn't go to bed we all there was a really nice bar at the hotel so the bar was closed but they had really nice like sofa arrangements and stuff so we went upstairs and got a bottle of wine and i was reminded that when you went up to get the bottle of wine and the glasses she and i made out in the lobby bar the whole time you were gone that's cool yeah yeah well we were two police officers what was anybody gonna say yeah we had sickers to prove it what a great group yes there were newbies there were people from all over the country you know what was really encouraging there were several couples there in their 30s yeah and they interacted with everybody so all age groups it was just a great i the blend in the crowd and we so anyway we all stayed up late in the lobby there yeah so there were there were what maybe like five or six couples and like yeah some of the youngins were there and we were there and most and most of us stayed awake for the whole night yes i have a very special friend and he just like fell asleep he gave up he didn't even try he actually got up walked around there were two sofas that were back to back.

He was just like, I'm done. He stood up, he gave up. He didn't even try. He actually got up, walked around. There were two sofas that were back to back. He was just like, I'm done. And he stood up, he walked around and he laid down on the sofa behind me and he just went sound to sleep. I didn't feel bad for him because he had sex hair. He did. So I know something happened at that club. So he earned his sleep. Yeah, I guess so. I might be a little bitter because it wasn't with me, but that's all right. There's always next time. Yeah, rain checks. Yeah.

All right, well, that wraps up Deal Breakers 101. That's right. Yeah. We'd love for you to join our We Got A Thing community. You can find information about that on our website, wegotathing.com. You can email me at mrjones, M-R-J-O-N-E-S, at wegotathing.com. Or me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. You can follow us on Twitter at wegotathing. Or you can find us on Pinterest, SDC, Cassidy. That's about all we know. That's about it. So thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones and about all we know. That's about it. So thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing.

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