Episode 1: Me & Mrs Jones

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and is for mature audiences only. If you're under 18, this show is intended more for your parents. So, take that mental image with you and get back to doing your homework. We are a couple choosing to share our personal experiences and opinions that should in no way be misconstrued as professional advice.

welcome everyone this is episode number one of our podcast named we got a thing i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and it is october 2014 our first take at this we hope to get our podcast published in the next couple of weeks so probably be in november we're starting this podcast with the purpose of creating a conversation between mr jones and of course you around topics and adventures in the swinging lifestyle and sex positive open-minded relationships so we have spent the past few months actually deciding to do this podcast and making sure this is something that we were committed to for the long haul and figuring out what kind of equipment we needed.

And then, of course, you have to find a design for your website and a title for your podcast and pseudonyms that you can use on air because we are certainly not out to our friends. So all of this planning has happened over the summer and we're just kind of ready to get started. So just as kind of a brief introduction to ourselves, we decided to choose the title, We Got a Thing, because we've been married for a long time and we've always known that we had something special.

And we have been in the lifestyle for about a year now and we realize that we really have something between us that is solid and it's a special thing and it's become more special ever since we started swinging because we realize how solid we are and how connected we are so you know the song me and mrs jones has um always been on the radio since we can remember and we've just enjoyed the song in general and now it that whole line we've got a thing going on um our thing has kind of taken on a new meaning and our thing is kind of secret which is really cool because usually we're pretty open with everybody.

So for us to have like the secret thing in our relationship, it's a pretty special part of our relationship. So that hence the names me and Mrs. Jones have kind of played out of that song. Yeah. And the word thing is so subjective that it's evolving, and definitely a whole lot more spicy, especially in the past year. And like Mrs. Jones was saying, we've been doing a whole lot of research. We've been listening to a lot of different podcasts, but the preparation over the past few months has been not just, you know, is this something that we want to do?

Do we really want to put our voices out there and our story out there? But how do we want to do that? And so I guess I volunteered myself to take care of all of the technical aspects of it. So it's a lot of web designing myself and researching the equipment that we wanted to use and coming up with original artwork and licensing music and every other thing that you have to think about. But we decided to wait and make sure that we were ready so that we had the quality of podcasts that we expect of ourselves, and obviously, this is going to get better. This is our first try at this.

And so here goes. Well, as far as the artwork goes, we were trying to figure out, you know, well, what kind of style do we want to our podcast? Do we want it to be like really super sexy? Or do we want it to be kind of fun and whimsical? And, you know, we spent a long time kind of talking about it and we went on iTunes and looked at all the little icons that all the other podcasters are using. And I mean, the bottom line is that Mr. Jones has always had a little bit of a thing for Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Yeah, I mean, cartoons in general were a big influence in my life.

And then, of course, when I was a big fan of Bugs Bunny, and then, of course, when Jessica Rabbit came along, yeah, that pretty much put me over the top. So when we approached a graphic artist and we had her help design, we sent her some images of Jessica Rabbit and said, can you kind of spring off of that? And that's where our cute little redhead girl came from. So she's kind of an image that's showing that we are inviting people into our relationship. She's kind of sitting there enjoying herself with a martini. I just happen to like martinis. I just happen to be a redhead with green eyes.

And my boobs aren't that big, though. Sorry, guys. You're a runner, so you have nice runner's legs. I do have her legs. I'm not as tall as her, though, but in my dreams, maybe someday. I think there's a resemblance. Yeah, so that pretty much tells the story about some of the background. We hope to publish a podcast about, on average, once a month. We'll see how it goes we want to share our experiences and we've only been doing this for about a year so tonight we're generally going to have a few different segments of the podcast and And they'll be a lot different than what we're doing tonight.

So not only are we doing the podcast for everybody out there listening, but honestly, we're kind of doing it for ourselves because, you know, as we talk to each other, we're like, oh my gosh, that's a podcast topic. And I have a note in my phone, and it's just, you know, a super long note because every time we talk about something, you know, I'm going to forget if I don't write it down. So I have this note in my iPhone and I just am constantly typing things in there as things come up in our conversation.

So it really, you know, kind of planning this out really helps us be mindful about, you know, when something comes up in our minds, we need to share it with the other person to kind of get their take on it. Because, you know, when you, when you're in the lifestyle and, and you're meeting other couples, you know, you're, you're trying to find a four-way connection and, and everybody has a different perspective and a, and a different, I guess, level of interest.

So that, that communication we have found has just been so important and you can't assume, you know, somebody well enough to know what they're thinking because you don't. Right. Right. And that's, you know, we've learned so much and that touches on one of the things that, you know, even after as long as we've been together, you can say, you know what, we communicate, um, we have good communication skills and, and we know this about ourselves and we know what we like and what we don't like. Um, but really what, what I've learned in the past year is all of that goes out the window.

As you experience new things with new people and new conversations, um, you learn a lot about yourself. And so things that even a year ago we said that we couldn't imagine ourselves doing or think about doing, um, we're in fact doing now. So, um, you know, to always have this open mind that, you know, we're, we're not going to say always and never, uh, too much here because who knows what's going to happen as long as we're communicating, as long as we're growing as a couple, um, as long as we're having fun. Um, but our main focus is on each other, um, kind of in a selfish way.

But I think, you know, I think that's good. I think, you know, our relationship is, is our priority in this. And, you know, it would be great that we find other people that we connect with and, and that we respect and socialize with. But, you know, ultimately, it's it comes down to the two of us and our relationship. Well, and the couples that we're looking for, we hope have that same feeling that, you know, they're there to take care of each other and to have fun and please one another. And then we're just part of that and vice versa.

I mean, to me, those are the kind of couples we're looking for. I know there's every scenario imaginable in the lifestyle and Um, and, and there's a fit for everybody somewhere, but you know, for Mr. Jones and I, we're, we're looking more to connect with couples that are like-minded as us so that, you know, we feel safe and secure and we want them to feel safe and secure as well. Yeah. And the longer that we're in this and, and, um, there are some extremely healthy relationships for, with folks in the lifestyle and, um, you know, it's easier to pick those out.

And, and even when it's somebody or a couple who, um, you know, you don't have that physical attraction to and, and the things that are necessary to play with, these are just great people that you want to have a conversation with.

And, you know're not there's no intimidation there's no judgment uh you know and so you can have a great conversation with somebody and you know if you don't play together i mean obviously that's why everybody's in this but you know there's some there seems to be so much respect um for everyone and people are just interested in stories and so that's what we want to do is we want to make this about our stories um and how other people have influenced us uh you had mentioned earlier about podcasts and when we first um started doing some research we kind of stumbled across podcasting we really never had listened to many podcasts before but once we realized all this information was out there and from real people you know not from people who are you know doctors or therapists or um you know who you you'd consider a professional i mean we just enjoy listening to real people tell real stories and, um, you know, share their struggles and, and share, you know, some of the successes that they've had.

And so podcasts were, um, a pretty big influence on us as we were making our decision as to whether we should take this step or not. So, you know, we're hoping that we can have the same influence on our listeners. Swinging isn't for everybody. I mean, we kind of have to be frank about that. It can really screw up a relationship that isn't a relationship that has a lot of open communication. It can be pretty scary in the best of relationships.

So if you have any misunderstandings between the two of you or if you have motivations that you're not sharing with your partner, it can really damage a relationship.

But at the same time, if you go in it together and you're like-minded and you're communicating and you're being really honest with one another about how you feel about trying different things and being honest in the moment to make sure that you're not created in a situation where you or your partner is going to feel uncomfortable, then it can really have a positive influence on your sexual relationship and your emotional relationship as a whole. Right.

And if you, you know, I think one of the things that I learned on, and we'll talk more about this in another podcast, but, um, you know, to be able to trust somebody enough to, um, step back when you do have a strange feeling or, or something occurs that you're not quite comfortable with. Um, you know, at first, I think first reaction to a lot of people is let's just run, let's just get away from this and let's just, um, you know, this was a mistake.

And I, and I think what we learned early on is, you know, let's focus on what's causing that, uh, because we know our relationship, you know, we know our relationship is solid and we know how we feel about each other.

So, you know, kind of assessing what it is that's, that's causing you to feel feel that way and then working through it together um and again in a non-judge battle way but you know sharing with sharing and exploring these things together and then as you you grow as an individual as you get you know beyond that and that happens once or twice and then you get a little bit more confident that you know what even if we do slip up even if a bad judgment call or, you know, if we feel uncomfortable, it's not the end of the world where, you know, we're going to communicate about it.

We're going to talk about it. Um, and we're going to learn from that. And then ultimately what we found is it brings us closer, um, in, in all the cases so far that, um, that we've had together.

So as we move forward, um, throughout, throughout you know future episodes of the podcast we are going to discuss both pros and cons of the lifestyle because we you know we want to keep it balanced and um and not only talk about the the wild sexy crazy times we've had which we want to talk about and i hope you guys want to hear about but you know we we need to keep it real too, because if you're having issues at the moment in your relationship, we want you to know that it's okay and it, and it can be worked through and it, and it needs to be worked through and, um, to not feel defeated, I guess, because, you know, at one point a few months ago, I remember looking at Mr.

Jones and saying, you know, I don't like this feeling and I'm out. And, you know, luckily I didn't really mean that. And we were able to work through it. And now we're in a, in a really safe place. And lately I think we've been very relaxed when we are with other people and, and just really starting to understand what it's all about. I think we've kind of finally gotten over the hump, so to speak. Right. So, yeah. So that takes us to, um, our segment number one, we're going to do three segments in each podcast. And, and tonight, uh, we'd like to introduce ourselves.

Um, so you'll know a little bit more about us. Um, and we hope that that helps you understand where we're coming from and and helps you apply some of the things that we've experienced to your relationship because everybody has a different relationship and again we're not advocating that you know this is the way that it should work you know in your life or in your lives or in your relationships so a little bit about us as I said we just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last week, and I can't believe it's been 30 years, 30 amazing years.

We live on the East Coast, and a lot of the activity that we've experienced so far in the lifestyle mostly has been with traveling out of town, going to Mexico, going to New Orleans, going to the West Coast on travel and meeting people out there. We're just now getting to a place where, you know, we're connecting with some local groups in the lifestyle community, which is really a good thing. So again, on, uh, on the East coast, um, you know, especially in the mid Atlantic area, people seem to be a whole lot more buried underground when it comes to lifestyle.

Um, maybe it has something to do with the politics in the area and the Puritan society here on the East coast. But, um, we are, we are now running into, uh, some people and and connecting and making some making some networking here on the East Coast. So our children are older adults, and that puts us in a situation, sorry about that for you all, who have to get babysitters and be concerned about child care. We've been through that and certainly are enjoying this point in our lives when, you know what, we can just say, let's do this or let's go there or let's do this.

And if somebody contacts us, we don't have that worry as we did a few years ago with, you know, making sure the kids were taken care of. So it's been a, you the benefits of having older children. We're involved in our church, and we've been involved in church for quite a few years. We're both working professionals. we have very active vanilla lives. Um, we have, I mean, we've lived in our community for 27 years. So we, you know, we have friends, uh, when our kids were involved in things, you know, we were friends with parents and, and we've maintained those connections over the years.

And, and, um, so we, we have a lot of friends that are vanilla and they have, you know, no idea why we're busy on the weekends now and can't always go out to dinner with them when they all get together. But, um, we, you know, we're just not ready to share any of this with them yet. Right. Um, so, but we do, I mean, we still have a very active vanilla and my family, uh, is, is in the area, uh, large family. So, uh, you know, we spent a lot of time with them and we really enjoy that as well.

So, you know, the, the lifestyle definitely is not, um, prioritized in, in our lives right now, but it's a big part of what we're doing. And I suspect as we, you know, continue to meet people and do things together that, you know, that'll continue to grow. Um, uh, also we're both avid runners. Um, we've been running now for the past four or five years, um, and really enjoy doing that together. Um, even though we don't run a whole lot together, it's, it's, um, that's because he, Mr. Jones is really, really fast and then there's me, but that's okay.

It's a lot of, it's because you like running in the afternoon and I like running in the morning. That's true. I'm not a morning person. Yeah. So we've done, um, you know, a lot of different races together. We've run marathons together. Um, and we're, we're looking forward to doing more of that in the future.

And, you know, when, again, when you get to be this age, um, having somebody, having something like that in your life, not only is it really enhances our relationship to, to have that, um, activity that we both do together, but, you know, just gives us the energy, you know, and keeps us healthy and keeps us, you know, kind of young at heart as we, uh, move through midlife. Um, so it's, it's really been something that we both enjoyed. So, and a little bit about me specifically, and I mentioned I am from a large family, and I'm the oldest child. And I mentioned church.

You know, church was always a part of my life and still is growing up, and we'll talk more about that in future episodes. I've always been pretty athletic, into music, but I've really been introverted. And, you know, in my professional life, I've gotten beyond that. But when you think about when was the last time I dated somebody was well over 30 years ago. And so as we get back into this kind of mindset of dating people, I've got all these flashbacks of being this skinny little introverted kid who didn't have a lot of self-confidence.

And sometimes I find myself, I'm like, I'm right back in the hallways in high school sweating, you know, when a couple goes by and, um, you know, there's a, there's a female of a partner that I'm interested in. And so it's really been kind of interesting to, you know, to kind of relive a lot of that. And fortunately, um, it's a lot easier now, um, because I have you and don't really have to worry about being that successful, but, um, but I've always. And being in the lifestyle has really, really helped me be a whole lot more outgoing in a way that we approach people.

And people, really, in the lifestyle are very easy to approach, very approachable. So that's made it a little bit easier to kind of grow into a more kind of aggressive role. And on the other hand, I am an only child. My dad was in the military, so he moved around a lot, which was torture for me because I didn't have any brothers and sisters to hang out with until I managed to make new friends in the new neighborhood and the new school and everything. So I always kind of dreaded when we would have to move around. I was a good student. I was a rule follower.

So breaking these rules and sneaking around now is kind of against my nature. And it's fun in one way, but it's still those feelings are feelings that you kind of have to push down. And like Mr.

Jones said, all those those feelings can come flooding back and it's been more than 30 years since you're in high school but you know we're sneaking around and breaking the rules and afraid you're going to get caught or get in trouble or whatever it just it comes back and it's just it's hilarious because like we're grown-ups now and it's okay but some things just i guess never really go away um i was a big flirt in high school, though. And so that part is fun again because, you know, when you're married, you don't flirt anymore.

I mean, you don't, you can flirt a little bit, I guess, but, you know, your priority is on your spouse. And, you know, up to a year ago, he was everything I ever wanted or needed needed and he is still everything I wanted or needed but at the same time we can approach couples together and flirt with them and kind of you know invite them into our relationship and that's just it's so new and and so foreign it's scary and exciting at the same time and it just really, it's cool when you can kind of look at a couple and kind of assess the situation together. You know, what do you think?

Well, what do you think? And, you know, kind of find a couple that you can both connect with. And that's one of the things that, you know, I think, you know, seeing you flirt with other people is an example of something that I have not experienced with you because of what you just said. And so initially, you know, there can be some, you know, wow, she's flirting with this person. But, you know, after a while, you know, I discover these new things about you, you know, that just make you, you know, it's new.

Again, even after 30 years, something that I'm learning about you and experiencing with you. So, you know, at first it feels a little bit strange. But after that, I kind of stand back and look at her. You know, I could see. I mean, we went to a meet and greet last night and I could tell you kind of flipped a switch and started getting into that flirty mode. and you know, I could see, I mean, we, we went to a meet and greet last night and I could tell you kind of flipped a switch and started getting into that flirty mode.

And, uh, you know, I don't know if you realize it as much, but I can certainly tell when, when you get into that mode and it's really kind of cool to watch. Well, I could tell I knew what I wanted to flip my switch. Yeah, right. exactly. Well, as far as what's going on right now, like Mr. Jones said, we went to a meet and greet last night that was about 50 minutes from home. That's the first time we've ever done that. So we've been in the lifestyle almost a year now, and we have really laid low in and around our hometown.

We've gone to Mexico to play, and, you know, obviously you can't do that all the time. We wish we could do that all the time. But, you know, that's not really very practical or affordable. So, you know, we've tried to figure out how we can become more active in our community but at the same time, you know, preserve our anonymity because we really are not interested in, you know, becoming known to other people as far as what our activities are. So we figured, um, there's a, a group called girls uncorked and it's actually, I think it was started on a Cassidy.

Um, And it's a great community of women that come together once a month to, you know, just hang out. And usually you go to somebody's house and you bring a bottle of wine or an appetizer and it's just women in the lifestyle that can reach out to one another and actually have conversations that you can't have with your best friend unless she also happens to be in the lifestyle. So last night they had a couple's meet and greet at a really cool restaurant slash brewery about 50 minutes from our home. So we went ahead and got up the nerve and signed up for it and drove out there.

And I think there were about 10 couples that came and, and it was great. They were all different ages and all different levels of experience and the lifestyle. And the host and hostess were just the cutest couple, and they were just so welcoming. And, you know, you kind of walk in, and you had deer in the headlights look because you don't know anybody, and you don't know what to expect. And they just made us feel so welcome. And actually, everybody in the group did.

And there and there were several other new couples there too so we weren't the only ones that um kind of didn't you know know our way around so to speak and and it was just a great experience right um and so what we're going to do typically is talk about these sorts of things that are ongoing currently in our lives but but for this for this first episode, as we move into our second segment about what's going on in our lives, we'd kind of like to do a summary of the past year, because it's almost been exactly a year since we found ourselves wading into the lifestyle so last November we went to desire desire pearl and we really didn't know that much about the lifestyle before we went there we went there because it was a nice upscale clothing optional resort and that's really what our initial interest in the place was we had gone to punta cana I don't know.

it was a nice upscale clothing optional resort. And that's really what our initial interest in the place was. We had gone to Punta Cana on vacation the summer before that, like a few months before last June of 2013. And we had been to Punta Cana before and we love it there. We always stay at a really nice adults only resort. So So it's just, you know, real laid back. And we had a great time. Well, when we were there last June, there were not a lot of women there that were going topless. And unfortunately, when we were there three years ago, there were lots of women going topless.

What do you mean, unfortunately? Well, unfortunately for last June because nobody was. So, yeah, three years prior to that, we had gone to Punta Cana for the first time. And there were, I guess, a lot of European women there. And they were going topless at the beach, which is okay in Punta Cana. They don't really want you topless at the pool or anywhere else. But on the beach, it's accepted. So I got up the nerve. And under a little bit of peer pressure from Mr. Jones, I took my top off a couple times when we were there.

And, you know, I was a little uncomfortable, but I wasn't the only one, so it was okay. Mr. Jones, I think, enjoyed it much more than I did. So when we went back to Punta Cana the second time, you know, a year and a half ago, nobody was taking their top off and there was no way I was going to be the only one. So, you know, he was kind of- I was cheated. Yeah, he was cheated and he wasn't afraid to tell me about it. So I said, well, you know, if you really want me to do that, we need to go to someplace where I don't feel like I'm the only one. We need to go to a clothing optional resort.

And the back of my mind, I'm thinking, there is no way Mr.

Jones is going to go to a clothing optional resort and drop his drawers in front of everybody so I'm thinking ha ha ha you know I'm going to get the last laugh on this one so we um like the next day when we were still in Punta Cana it rained that day so we had a balcony on our room so we were sitting out on the balcony and enjoying the rain and and playing on our iPads and I started to like research clothing optional resorts and desire of course like floated to the top when I googled it and it just looks so beautiful and it got and then I went on to TripAdvisor and I got all these great reviews and I didn't really understand I saw the lifestyle mentioned a few times, but I didn't really understand what it was.

We knew what swinging was. We had watched a couple TV shows and movies. And then, of course, you hear about key parties from back in the 1970s. But I didn't really know what the lifestyle was until we actually started committing to going to desire and then doing a little bit more research and getting on some forums. And And all of a sudden we were like, wow, we've got some options here. Book it. Yeah.

So we booked it and then we started, you know, kind of talking with other people on forums about, you know, what this was all about and, and just starting to have conversations with each other about, well, is this something we would be interested in? Because, you know, Mr. Jones has always said, well, someday when we have a threesome, you know, someday when we have a threesome. You got to throw it in there. And I would just giggle and ha ha ha and then we would, you know, move on. But I'm thinking, OK, well, this is a lifestyle friendly resort and we've always been joking around about it.

You know, maybe I could find a girl to dance around with on the dance floor and, you know, kind of flirt with her and, you know, maybe kiss her or whatever. And we could rub our tits together and Mr. Jones would be like, yes. And that would be like our fantasy fulfilled. I thought that would be the end of it until we got there. Well, and I think also that when we first booked it, we knew that, um, you didn't have to be in the lifestyle to, to be a desire and to take your clothes off.

Um, you know, we thought, well, well, you know, we'll just, we'll just, um, option for walking around nude and then we'll observe the behavior and we'll talk to people, but we don't really have to, you know, participate. But I think the time between when we booked the vacation and when we actually went, we continued to research. We hooked into Playboy TV, the show Swing, started watching that. If you guys have not watched that show, that is really worthwhile to subscribe to Playboy TV and to watch those episodes.

There's four seasons swing that have aired so far and hopefully there's going to be a fifth one um just it's a reality show but they do such a good job of um showing what entering the lifestyle is all about and and some like victories are celebrated and some obstacles are you know encountered and and overcome most of the time right and i think what we learned one of the things that we learned from that show is what does a healthy environment look like in the lifestyle you know the way that they were honest and open and treated each other and were welcoming and you know the discussions between the newbies were you know sometimes difficult and and a lot of times they were really excited about what they were doing so it was a very good representation especially looking back now that we've kind of been through this we would highly recommend that you keep your eye out for that or if you haven't looked at it go ahead and subscribe and and the first four seasons are out out there and then we we also were researching some some of the podcasts i mentioned earlier a couple of our favorites were the swinger cast john and ally from the west coast and the swap foos from the midwest or from texas so there so there were a few that we kind of latched on to and and again they helped to kind of mold for us this idea of what this lifestyle looks like and is so um that's that's part of how we educated ourselves prior to getting to desire so when we got there we um well before we left, we said, well, you know, a lot of what we've been told them that what we kind of ascribe to ourselves is let's not preconceive any ideas.

Let's, let's not go there with a plan that says we're, we've, we've got to do this or we're not going to do this. Let's just go. Let's just have a good time. Let's just take it a day at a time. You know, if we meet somebody, um, we'll just go with the flow, but we don't want to have, you know, this idea that these are things that we are definitely not going to do or that we definitely are going to do.

Um, and so that, that really put us, well, we thought at that point in time that we were fairly well prepared for what we were going to experience but then of course um that wasn't the case um and mostly in a good way so then we get to desire and you know within a few hours we you know we're completely clothing free and just like pulling off a band-aid you just need to like not even wear a bathing suit out to the pool just wear a cover-up and just go ahead and get it over with because after about 10 minutes you realize it's not a big deal and and nobody's really like looking at you more than they're looking at everybody else yeah i mean it becomes almost it becomes almost second nature.

You know, people are really comfortable. And yeah, of course you're looking at people. I mean, that's what you go there for. And the whole environment, the whole, it's a very sensual environment, very erotic, but it's also very safe, very secure. Very respectful. Very respectful. And the staff is amazing. And not only they provide excellent service, but, um, you know, just so professional and so friendly. So the whole environment just makes you feel like, you know, this is natural. This is, this is the way people, you know, should be.

Um, and then, you know, before, I guess it was probably the end of the second day when we were in the hot tub and and I had three women on me at one time and you know one give me a blow job and and two of you on kissing me and you know I think I think two of them were giving you a blow job and I was kissing you know what I was so I was so overwhelmed with what was going on. I just remember. There was no blood in his head at that moment. And I really wanted to watch. I really wanted to see, but I couldn't get my eyes open. He had the dumbest grit on his face.

So, you know, I think that was day two after we got there. And I said, you know what? I think this is the place is the place for me. Uh, and the people were just so, you know, friendly about it and had so much fun with it. And, you know, but again, in 24 hours, you know, we, we went from being this nervous couple coming to the front gate to, to the second day being in the hot tub and having that happen.

So, and you know, what was really cool about it is, um, the, of course the other two ladies had asked if it was okay and we were like sure and and it was just like oh my gosh look at them giving him a blow job that's that's so cool and I wasn't jealous at all and and um Mr. Jones was just like you know taking it all in and enjoying it and and it was fun like he said it it just, it felt okay. And, and there were no like weird feelings. So, you know, we knew that, um, we were in for more than we had bargained for, I guess. Right. Yeah. And so that, that was quite a week.

We'll, we'll, uh, probably talk a whole lot more about desire because we've been again since then and we're getting ready to go again. So this probably going to be a couple times a year hopefully that we get to experience desire so when we got back we kind of decided you know we had to really just take a break and say what in the world just happened over the last seven days and it took us a few months to process everything and talk through it. And, you know, there were some things that really we had never felt before. And most of it was good. Some of it was a bit uncomfortable.

And so it really took us kind of a while to unpack all of that as a couple and really talk about what actually happened compared to what we thought had happened. And is this what the lifestyle is all about? Um, so, and well, and what do we want to do going forward? Right, right. And so, so that was a vacation. So we knew, you know what, you're on, when you're on vacation, it's not reality. So let's kind of approach this with a plan, like kind of how you and I handle a lot of things in our, in our lives. And, and let's look at the next year and let's experience this.

Let's just be objective and let's not make an assumption based on one experience, whether it's positive or negative. And, you know, let's look at all these things that the lifestyle has to offer. So we decided to, um, well, the first thing we did is we had met a couple in Mexico who lived on the West Coast and he travels a lot for his job and he ended up being in our neck of the woods. So his wife flew out and they spent a long weekend with us.

And that was fun because that was when we realized gosh you know the lifestyle is more about more than just sex it's about making friendships with like-minded people and you know I guess friends with benefits I guess that's where that saying comes from but you know it's um it's really fun to have people you can talk to anything about. So they came out a couple months after we had gotten home from Mexico. And they stayed at our house. And, of course, we had fun. And then we, Mr. Jones, travels for his work as well.

So he was planning a trip to the West coast and we would were hoping to be able to find some lifestyle activities when we were out there and he went on cassidy and started looking around at different communities there and coincidentally about that same time a couple from the west coast had kind of sent us a flirt on Cassidy and started making connections with us through emails and stuff.

And they ended up being about our age, and they were about half an hour from where we were going to be staying for this convention, and we hooked up with them in July and just had a great week at the convention and, and spending, you know, evenings going out to dinner and breweries and spending time with this couple. And it was really, since they were on the West coast, it really required us to make a pretty good effort to get to know them before we went out. So we went from emailing back and forth within the Cassidy website to direct emails and direct text messages.

And then we FaceTimed with them. So I thought we did a very good job, the four of us, kind of getting to know each other as face-to-face as that's possible these days so that when we got out there, we didn't have that awkwardness of kind of getting to know each other. And they were much more experienced than us, which was good because, you know, they kind of helped break the ice. And because we had never, you know, we were in our only other experience had been when we were at Desire, which, you know, the whole environment is set up in that seductive manner.

So now here you are in a regular restaurant in regular USA and and you're trying to figure out how to take a relationship from being just you know oh well what do you do for a living and how old are your kids to hey you know what what kind of play do you like are you soft swap are you full swap are you same room and and how do you transition into that? So they were much more experienced and they were very good at guiding us through that unknown territory. Yeah. Yeah. Really great couple that we're still friends with and making plans to see again when we can.

So that was the second time that we played with a couple and right. Yeah. And it was, it was a great experience. It was a whole lot different than Mexico, but of course that's what we expected and, um, just had a great time that, that weekend. Um, so after, Oh, and did we mention that they're like both really hot? We can't forget that part. We did we did kind of forget that. Uh, and that's what, you know, that's another thing that, uh, you know, I'm the one that does most of the correspondence and keeping up with Cassidy and keeping up with the messaging.

And, and so I've had to learn, you know, because I'll see a couple and I'll see the woman of course, and, and, uh course, and I'll know whether I'm attracted to her or not. And then there's a few times where I was certain that I would show you a couple and you would say, oh, yeah, he's hot or I'm attracted to him. And you go, eh, it doesn't really do anything. And I'm like, really? So, yeah, so this couple in California, I said, well, what do you think about him?

you were like yeah he's attractive you know and and she is too uh so it was it was not but it was not just that as a matter of fact it was it was probably more importantly it was the connection that we had as as four people and and the connection we made the conversations that we've started in the relationship that we'll have with them you know hopefully for a long time so that was I'll see a long time. So that was another type of connection that we made.

Then we decided, you know, we're not quite ready to get into the local scene because we're afraid, you know, that we might run into somebody that we know so we decided to go to naughty in new orleans which was a lifestyle conference in new orleans louisiana in august just this past august and the idea there was i mean I go to a lot of work conferences, and this was exactly like a work conference. I mean, you got, the hotel was included. There were agendas every day. There were sessions from starting at 11 o'clock in the morning till about one or two o'clock in the afternoon.

And you could sign up for swinging 101 or BDSM advanced BDSM or, um, you know, lifestyle cruising and what that's like and erotic massage techniques. And just about anything that you can think of, there were people there that had breakout sessions that you could attend. And so this was more of a way to get away, get to a city where we had never visited before. I kind of immersed ourselves in the culture down there. The hotel was right on Bourbon Street. And, I mean, it was amazing. So you had all these workshops you could go to.

Or you could blow off the workshops and just go party on Bourbon Street all day because that, well, and, and they made it like easy to do both because the workshops were kind of, you know, late morning, early afternoon. And then in the afternoon, there were two different, um, like bar takeovers right on Bourbon Street.

They like from, I don't know, 12 to three, there would be a takeover at one bar and then at three o'clock to six o'clock you would move down the street a little bit to a different bar and they would have like really different atmospheres so there was always something for everybody and um and it was great because they were takeovers so you had to wear a badge all week when you were there to get into all the different events and so when you walked into a bar you could kind of it was okay if you were flirting with another couple or you were kissing another couple or you know ladies were flashing their boobs or whatever because nobody else was in there there were no families with kids in there it was just a big old bar full of crazy swingers yeah and then there would be an opportunity to go out to dinner I don't know.

with kids in there it was just a big old bar full of crazy swingers yeah and then there would be an opportunity to go out to dinner and then later in the evening there would be a theme and so we would dress up and go to an after dinner kind of a dance or gathering in the hotel there was the colette, you know, had, uh, was open a couple of nights for us. And we went to, um, there was a parade one night and we went to a burlesque show. I mean, it was just so very well planned, highly recommend no matter what, uh, phase of this that you happen to be in. We were extremely comfortable. And as Mrs.

Jones was saying earlier, you know, that safety and security and trust and respect. And in the hotel, the security was really good. And the ladies never really felt, you know, like there were just strangers walking through and, you know, there was security at the elevators.

And then anyway, after the, after the theme party, party then all the playrooms opened on the second floor and the entire second floor was nothing but these playrooms and so the second floor where all the conference rooms were so all the conference rooms were turned into these different themed playrooms it was amazing right and so basically that was one day and you just woke up and did that same thing for thursday friday saturday and then half a day on sunday so um we we certainly learned a lot we met another couple there um and they're even though they they aren't in our community they're about an hour and a half away and so we've been able to you know see them again a couple of times since you know we can drive you know to see each other but again another couple that a similar sort of relationship that we have and really connected with them but we met so many people so many people down there and had so many experiences and I guarantee you we'll do an entire podcast on Naughty New Orleans and and the play experiences that we had there and also some of the more interesting people that we met in the conversations that we had.

Mr. Jones forgot to mention that before we went to Naughty New Orleans we went to a somewhat local event in July called Midsummer Night's Dream. And it was put on at a private estate about an hour and a half from our house. There were about 250 people that attended.

And this, it's just, it's so hard to describe because it's so, it was visual uh the way they turned this estate into this absolute like fairyland it was incredible um there was a pool and they had a mermaid in a pool and she would talk to you through these stones she had with all these little sensual sayings on the stones and she would rearrange them into sentences so that she could flirt with you or she could get you to talk to your partner and and she was just really, really fun. And then they had like a Cirque du Soleil show over the pool.

They had erected this big scaffolding, and the girl would be, she would have the long scarves and do all the acrobatics right over the water.

And they had an amazing DJ with a dance floor, and they um wait staff there it was BYOB but it was a professional wait staff there to mix your drinks for you and then they had like this six car garage in the back of the estate and all six bays were a different type of room like there was a Sibian room with couches around the Sibian so you could obviously play on that and have an audience and one of the bays had like six king-size mattresses all put together and it was like this huge crazy group sex room but then in the back of the estate where it was just kind of lawn area they set up these beautiful cabanas with all of the like the tulle draped around them to kind of provide just a little bit of privacy and there was just enough lighting that you could kind of see what was going on but you didn't feel like you had spot lights glaring on you so it was really sensual and romantic and um so there was just like every type of environment or fantasy that you could have gone there with that night you would have had an opportunity to fulfill that it was just incredible right and and that was that was a lot of fun it was a it was a different experience um it really put us in a position uh because we didn't know anybody in advance it really puts you in a position where you've got to show up at at nine or ten o'clock at night and kind of find somebody if you're going to play if you don't know somebody and and we did meet another couple that we just chatted with but that night we ended up just playing with each other and when I say just playing with each other I you know I think I have to clarify that a bit and say if that's the worst thing that's going to happen in the evening then it's it's great I mean That's the ultimate so we played with each other and in this like cabana area they they also had like these big silk throws just like thrown out on the grass and and they must have spray i get eaten by mosquitoes but they must have sprayed because there were no bugs and it was like for july in the on the east coast it's usually like hot and humid but it was the perfect weather that night and so Mr.

Jones and I just we had sex on one of these beautiful silk throws and there were probably like 40 people standing around or at various stages of having sex with one another and it was just amazing just how hot that experience was even though we were only playing with each other. There was another couple that we were talking to who were right next to us, but we didn't really interact with them. But, you know, we were right next to each other having sex.

And then all those other people watching us, and they were probably watching us because they were waiting for us to get up so they could have sex. Right. No, I think they were. I don't think they were. I think we provided entertainment while they were waiting. I mean, it's better than Disney when you're waiting in line because there's all kinds of things going on to keep you entertained while you're waiting. And so I don't think people really mind that much. Um, yeah, so that was, uh, that was a one night affair kind of a party.

So another type of experience in the lifestyle that we intentionally, you you know put ourselves in just again so we could get a different perspective and and learn about what that is like and whether we like that that sort of thing or not did i forget anything else or what happened after naughty in new orleans well we went back to desire right um and we had a great week we actually split our week there's two desire resorts um just south of cancun and they're only about three miles apart from each other there's desire riviera maya which is the original one and then there's a new resort called desire pearl and i think it's been open like a little over two years um they're they both have the same format as far as what they offer, as far as entertainment and all the different services and everything, but there's just a different vibe at each one.

Desire Riviera Maya seems to be more of a party atmosphere, and Desire Pearl is more of a sensual atmosphere. Desire Pearl is not boring. I mean, if you read about that or whatever, oh, it's just all old, boring people that go there. Okay, well, yeah, we're kind of old, but we're not boring. And we have had amazing experiences at Desire Pearl.

I mean, there are people there willing to play and willing to have just as much fun as you want to to have with them we definitely could have engaged a whole lot more uh you know and we're gonna we're gonna talk about this in a future episode and we'll go into the differences between the two resorts and but really the characteristic it seems like every trip that we go on it takes on its own personality and its own kind of thing and and that's that's really i think attributed to kind of how we approach our vacations we you can make a mistake of saying you know what last year when we went to pearl this happened and so we're going to go back and we expect the same thing to happen and you can really fall into a trap if you do that but yeah so we spent four nights at rm and then four nights in pearl and our claim to fame during this trip was we didn't play with anybody but ourselves but we never had sex in our room and that it was amazing so on our balcony on jacuzzi beds in the play pool beds, just about anywhere on the resort.

But we just never got around to having sex on our own bed. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. I don't know. Yeah, but again, we met a lot of great people and had a great time. And it just so happens, that particular trip, we just connected with each other. And we never ran into that couple that kind of just captured us, uh, in our imagination and never really regretted that. Uh, yeah. And we're going to, we're getting ready to go back again here in a few weeks and you know, who knows what's going to happen. We'll let you know.

So we'll, we'll talk more about desire, uh, in a, in a future episode, but, but really, um, again, had just an amazing time there. Can't recommend that, uh, enough if you can get there. So then at the end of the summer, um, again, through Cassidy, we were contacted by a couple that are about an hour away from us.

They had read our profile and seen in our profile that, you you know I think we had mentioned that we were fairly new to the lifestyle and they were brand new to the lifestyle and just kind of were wondering if we would be interested in getting together with for them with them for drinks to just kind of talk about our experiences and I don't know it it kind of felt like they almost were looking for mentors i guess and and mr jones and i were like well we're not very experienced but you know we can uh certainly get together with them and and share what we know and uh i guess the really intriguing part about this couple is that they were very much younger than us and at first that was really intimidating because like we shared a few minutes ago we we do have adult daughters and um it we were like i don't know it this is going to be kind of weird but we said well we're doing drinks okay how much right trouble can you get into having drinks somewhere with somebody so they and they were just you know you could just tell by the way they were communicating with us uh through email that that they were a pretty connected couple and they weren't um it didn't seem like they had any ulterior motives that they weren't sharing with us so we went ahead and decided that we would have drinks with them and that is turned into a pretty cool relationship yeah and I think again what we're learning is that these labels that we put on people and I'm guilty of doing it myself but you know that evening and the two evenings that we we went out to dinner with them the conversation never was awkward.

You would think with a difference in age, what are we going to have in common? What are we going to be able to talk about? And never experienced any of that. And then honestly, after we spent an evening with them out, age never really entered my mind again. I mean, it was just, you could tell they could tell they have a solid relationship. You know, you can tell that they value each other the way that we do and, and had respect for us in our relationship.

And, um, you know, so we have learned, you know, you don't, you know, we, we can see the, you know, the type of relationship that we've had, we have after 30 years doesn't mean we can't see that in others who have just gotten together or have been married just two years or five years or 10 years, whatever that is, you know, we're very good at kind of recognizing that because we, we believe we have it ourselves. And that's the case with this couple. Um, yeah, so we really had a good time with them, um, ended up spending, up spending a weekend with them here.

And I think we're going to see them here and again in a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks. So that probably takes us through the past year. So to summarize, we, you know, we went to Desire a couple of times, went to not in New Orleans, the conference, went to the party at Midsommar, gone to a meet and greet, done some individual dating, some dating locally, did some long distance dating. So we think we've pretty much, we haven't done a house party. Well, that's true. We haven't done a house party yet because we haven't really found any around here.

And again, we don't want to find one too close to home. So I guess that that's probably the last thing we need to check off our list if we're trying to get the full range of experience. Hey, this is Jessica. If this episode stirred something in you, curiosity, comfort, or that quiet, I've been looking for this feeling, don't stop here. Go listen to episode 131, Finding Your Tribe and the We Got a Thing community. It's where the conversations go deeper, the connections get real, and you discover that this journey was never meant to be taken alone.

Because if you're listening, chances are you've got a thing, a craving for more honesty, more freedom, and a space where you feel understood without having to justify who you are. And We've Got a Thing, a thriving community built exactly for like-minded couples and individuals ready to explore, grow, and connect with support that's as deep as the desire that brought you here. Head to wegotathing.com and come inside because that thing you've been craving is not just a fantasy. It's a real community and we're waiting for you. Follow us on at wegotathing on Instagram and X.

That's W-E-G-O-T-T-A-T-H-I-N-G for a glimpse into the energy, inspiration, and intention behind everything we do. To end each one of our podcasts, we have something that we always share when we come home from any kind of a lifestyle encounter that we have. And I always call it, what's your snapshot?

So usually during the evening when we're playing with another couple, or it doesn't have to be playing it could just be out to dinner with them or whatever there you know how you always have like that one takeaway that one mental image or that one like sound bite of something that was said that night um for me it's usually a visual image and um i guess the one i wanted to share tonight was we were on kind of our second date with this younger couple that we mentioned that we have recently met and we were at a beautiful restaurant it was a nice fall evening and we're at a beautiful restaurant in a nice city near a river and sitting outside sharing a meal together and we kind of had a private table so we we felt like we could have you know open and frank conversation with one another and the first time we got together with them it was very surface level as far as talking about our sexual experiences and and what we were looking for in a couple that we wanted to interact with.

So this was our second date. So we were a little bit more forthcoming because I think both couples knew that we wanted to end up playing eventually. And we were trying to figure out, you know, where we stood as far as experience and what kind of fantasies we wanted to have fulfilled and, and those types of conversations. So we were talking about oral sex and the, the other lady and I'll see you next time. and what kind of fantasies we wanted to have fulfilled and those types of conversations.

So we were talking about oral sex, and the other lady in the couple, she was talking about how she had never gone down on another woman. She had had a woman go down on her before, but she had never gone down on another woman. She explaining this to us and in the meantime our server had come up from behind her and was just patiently waiting to see if anybody needed anything so she's the the server's standing there listening to this conversation and and the poor lady that was explaining her level of experience with the oral sex was clueless that the server was behind her.

So, you know, just after she finished her conversation, the server said, can I get you guys anything? And she was just perfectly professional and, and went on her way.

And, you know, we were just laughing because, you know, where else but in the lifestyle would you be talking about the intimate details of oral sex at this beautiful restaurant on a gorgeous fall evening yeah that's great dinner conversation if you ask me so that's your snapshot that's just one of them that's just one of them so stay tuned yeah i mean so my snapshot is i'm going to change i'm going to change my snapshot to you know you you mentioned earlier and you this is the second time we've, we've, we kind of did a practice podcast on this.

And so I'm going to change from what I said the first time. And I have to say that Mrs. Jones has dressed the part tonight.

So we made sure that we had some afternoon appetizers and happy hour before we podcasted today and she is across from me in a leopard print is it a dress you could call it that cross between lingerie and a dress and i dressed for dinner a lot getting ready to cook dinner a lot of cleavage that i've had to look at for the past hour um across from this microphone and earlier you were talking about the fact that i kept throwing this out about having a threesome and i'm not going to say that every guy has this fantasy but i'm going to go ahead and say every guy has this fantasy and you know every opportunity that i got i don't know that i said it a lot, but I have said a number of times over 30 years, you know, well, when we have our first threesome and maybe I'm like like Johnny Appleseed, I'm planting these seeds and eventually, you know, they're going to grow one day.

never really imagining that that they would but my snapshot when we went to desire the first time and we met this other couple and you didn't really know, Mrs. Jones, you really didn't know if you were attracted to other women or, you know, I didn't think I was, you didn't think you were, but you had said, well, you know, if we found the right person that you might do it just for me, you know, just so I could see. But you'd never really said that you would, you know, have oral sex or be with this woman. It was, you know, I would kiss or flirt with her.

And anyway, we met this couple and you two ladies kind of just connected. And we went into the playroom at Pearl. And the two of you just, for some reason, just connected and came together and started making out.

And I just about, I'm glad for my sake that I didn't pass out, but I found myself not breathing based on what I was seeing, and the other guy of the lady that you were with, he had a grin, you know, ear to ear, and he and I just kind of blended into the sofa and sat there and watched you two connect, and I can't describe, I can only say that if guys if you you're if you're and and ladies, if you ever find an opportunity to do that, you won't be disappointed as far as the guys are concerned, because it was it was an amazing snapshot and image that and you've done it since then.

But that connection in the first time and the fact that for 30 years, you know, I kind of have this fantasy and then it's playing itself out in front of me and I just can kind of keep looping that film back over and over in my mind. And so not only was I watching you with another woman, but then you turned into a bit of the aggressor, you pushed her back and went down on her. And that again, kind of just shocked me. It floored me. Um, and then, you know, I was realizing that, wait a minute, she's not doing this for me anymore. She's liking this.

And so, so during that 15 or 20 minutes that you two were together, um, just, uh, it was, it was just an amazing, an amazing thing to, to see. Um, and so that was amazing to experience as well. Yeah. I'm kind of a little bit out of breath over here. So I'm thinking of it, but, but you went down on her and, um, you know, you did a good job and she went down on you and you had an orgasm. And she did a good job. Yeah. And so it was, it was really amazing to watch and experience.

And then, and then afterwards, uh, and I'm not not sure when afterwards but you came up to me and you said you know what i like licking pussy and and again hearing those words come out of your mouth was just something that um you know i'm like this is worth we're coming back here we're gonna when can we when can we come back here when when can we do this again so if you were trying to um get me hooked into this lifestyle that was your ploy um then it i'll just say that it worked so my snapshot is just so ladies if you want a vacation to desire that's all you got to to do. Wow.

So anyway, that's kind of lost my train of thought. And I'm a little bit disembobulated. That was your snapshot. Yeah, that was my snapshot. One thing I've learned over the past year is that I'm attracted to people that I can tell are confident or comfortable in their own skin. And I really think that that is the beauty that you're looking for when you're trying to find a couple that you can connect with in the lifestyle. Right. So we are going to close out now.

I think I'd like to let you know that episode two, we're going to talk more in depth about the rest of that story and what happened the rest of the week at Desire. And we'll talk a little bit more about the resort itself. So we'll kind of do a little bit of review, but we'll also talk about the play that we did. And how we reacted to that play. Definitely, how we reacted to that play and then subsequent to that.

I mean, that was was really um you know I think just to give you a little bit of a of a teaser um you know there are times like and maybe the illustration that I'll throw out is is like when we go to look at a house or we go buy a car because normally what happens is I'll say hey let's go I want to stop in here and look for a look for a car, look at cars. And you'll say, well, we're not buying one. And I said, no, no, we're not buying one. I'm just, I just want to look.

And then we start looking and then we drive one and then we go in and then we find ourselves at the desk talking to the people. And then all of a sudden we're like, hey, maybe we are going to buy a car today. And that's kind of what this lifestyle has been about. We said, you know what, we're just going to try it. We're going to test it. You know, maybe we're not going to do anything.

You know what we're just going to try it we're going to test it you know maybe we're not going to do anything you know we're just going to watch and then when we got down there we found ourselves you know what maybe we are going to do this and so it was that decision even though we talked about it before we went down there the fact that we actually hooked up with a couple and experienced everything there was to experience in the lifestyle that week we came came back with our heads spinning.

And so we'll talk, you know, a lot about that and how we kind of recovered from that and decompressed and learned and moved on. So there are one thing that we would certainly covet from you all, and that is your feedback and your questions and any comments that you would have for us. We will, on our website, wegotathing.com, you can leave a comment there. And then you can also find the show notes from episode number one and everything I'm about to tell you, you'll be able to find there in the show notes. So you can contact us through, um, several different, um, from Twitter.

Uh, you can follow us at we got a thing and, and it's G O T T A. We got a thing. Uh, we have a Google voicemail account and the number for that is 5 7 1 36 swing or 5 7 1-367-9464. Feel free to leave us a voicemail. Or you can email us at wegotathing at gmail.com. And you can find us on iTunes. I'm not sure when we're going to be up on iTunes. It may take a week or two after we submit, but you'll find us on iTunes eventually. And then on the Cassidy site, you'll find us at We Got a Thing there as well. So thanks for hanging in there and listening to our first episode. We are Mr. and Mrs.

Jones, and We Got a Thing. What's your thing? We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? Okay, welcome everyone to episode number one of the We Gotta Swing. We Gotta Swing.