BONUS Episode 61: Do You Know George?

Transcript

This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only. Hey you teenagers out there, if you're under 18, this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework. We are a long-time married couple who's decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex-positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle. Care to join us? Hello, everyone. I'm Mr. Jones. And I'm Mrs. Jones.

hello everyone i'm mr jones and i'm mrs jones and we want to welcome you to episode 61 of the we got a thing podcast episode 61 bonus episode it's a bonus episode hey i got a question for you mr jones what's that do you know george as a matter of fact i do hey so do i And if some of you out there don't know George, that's what this bonus podcast is about. That's right. George hosts dinner events and weekend events, and we're going to have a conversation with him so he can kind of explain what it's all about and what to expect from the weekends.

We have talked about George, and we've attended his events in the past. As a matter of fact, if you haven't done so, our episodes 9 and 51, we talk about attending his just-for-dinner events. And then episode 19, we talk about our weekend in Miami. Which was amazing. It was amazing. Well, the dinners were amazing too, but a weekend at a Georgia event is definitely something to remember. And because we have talked about him and his events, we get a lot of questions from our listeners about what are these events about and what do you, you get questions from the ladies. Yeah.

Like some couples will sign up just for dinner and the ladies will email me like, what am I supposed to wear? Am I supposed to wear like a sexy club dress, a classy cocktail dress, something in between? Yeah. You know, so I've dressed a lot of the ladies that attend his dinners.

And we get people asking us like, really goes on there and is it worth the money and what is the vetting process like and and so we found ourselves being in the middle of all these questions and we thought maybe the best idea was to have uh george on and he could answer these questions directly we went right to the source we did and um you know it's not just questions about the, his dinners in questions about his dinners to be specific, but people just in general, I think especially people that are new to the lifestyle, are at a loss on how to get started, how to meet people.

You know, and I think that people are afraid if they make the wrong decision and attend the wrong type of event, they'll just end up dead in the water. And, you know, especially the guys. If I take my wife to an event that she isn't going to feel comfortable at, I'll never be able to get her out again. Yeah, or if we're going to go to Desire, the first thing I have to do when I get there is to take my clothes off. Right, right. So I think, you know, finding the right type of event to attend when you're new, it can be a very daunting task.

So I think that George's dinners especially are a great gateway event. Yes. And actually, there's a lot of similarities between George's philosophy and his events and our philosophy in this. Yeah, I think you're going to find out when you listen to our conversation with George in a couple of minutes that, um, George is very much, uh, has the same mindset that we have. He's a social swinger. He, um, attracts those types of people because George's events are not sex in your face events. Right. Right. They're.

They're events that are thoughtfully planned out that bring people together that are like-minded as far as being open-minded about their sexuality, but he doesn't provide events where it's a place to hook up. Yeah, it's like the sex is there, but it's in the background. Yeah, which I find very intriguing. I do, I do too. Yeah. I like that. You know, it's there just under the surface and it makes it very intriguing and sexy. But you're at this really nice restaurant or resort and, you know, and you're, you're in public with everybody else. So you're on your best behavior.

And, and, but at the same time, you're meeting these people and you're like, wow, what's their deal? What makes them tick? Why are they here? Yeah, and a lot of them are sapiosexual too. Yeah, just like us. Just like especially you. I know. Yeah, definitely. And he'll talk about his group, which is very similar to our community. Yes. So there's a lot of similarities in his approach and our approach, but there are some differences too. Right.

I mean, I think George's passion is to create this spectacular event, whether it's a dinner at a five-star restaurant with a well-known chef and all of these amazing food dishes with proper wine pairings or if it's a weekend then he just goes like all out crazy i mean you'll have dinner on a yacht one night and and then you'll have a grammy award-winning band entertain you the next night and so he's really he's really putting together an experience. Yes. Yeah. And an experience for like-minded people. Right. I am not an event planner. It is not my gift. That is totally George's gift.

He is so creative and clearly well-connected where he can put all this together. It just kind of makes me want to breathe into a paper bag when I hear him talk about, you know, the amount of work and the level of detail he goes into to create these experiences. Where our community is more about knowledge sharing and making connections and friendships and building relationships. And so while we have very similar approaches to the lifestyle, I think what we do is very complementary to what he does. Yes. And back and forth. Yes.

So I think you can attend both types of events, whether you come to Desire with us or whether you come to one of our regional meet and greets or whether you go to a George dinner, or if you go to a George dinner and you have a great experience and you get invited to attend one of his weekends, these are all different types of experiences where you're going to meet other like-minded people, more than likely social swingers, that are looking to make those friendships and those long-term connections. And then, you know, if there's sexy chemistry, that's just icing on the cake for sure. Right.

So what you're going to find, since this is a bonus podcast, there's no keeping up with the Joneses or snapshots. This is really something a little bit special and focused all on George and his events and the conversation that we shared with him. And we certainly learned a lot.

And we're looking forward to hearing what hearing what he has planned um and and hopefully you know attending another event in the future that's right and we hope that you you guys learn more about george and start thinking outside of the box as far as the types of events you might be interested in yeah so without further ado here's george Thank you. without further ado, here's George. All right. Well, welcome back to segment two of our episode. And we are sitting here with George. So if you've ever wondered, do you know George? Well, my answer is yes, I do know George.

I'm sitting here next to him. For quite a few years now. That's right. It's taken us a long time to coerce him to come up here and record with us. I know. We won. Yeah. Yes. We did. So we're very thankful that he flew into town, especially to come visit us.

And we're sitting here drinking mimosasas and we're just going to have a nice conversation yes and rather than us introducing george we're going to let him introduce himself but um just just a little bit of backdrop is we first i think it was episode nine yes when we did the very first just for dinner which will george will be talking about in a minute, but we found out, we heard about this mystery party about Do You Know George and Just for Dinner, and we decided to take a plunge and go try it.

We talked about that on episode nine, which, by the way, became one of our most downloadable, downloaded episodes. To this day, yes. It's very popular. Yeah, so we had a good time and talked about it, and more people were interested in it. And then we did an event in Miami, had a lot of fun there, and another dinner later. So anyway, we've always been big fans of Just for Dinner and George's party, so we thought we would have him on because a lot of people ask about what it is and how they can do this. That's right.

So welcome, George, and feel free to introduce yourself as to the extent you feel comfortable. Well, I want to thank you for inviting me. And I will say that these microphones are even scarier looking in person. You know, I think guys usually have a bigger problem with microphones than girls. It must be the shape of it or something. I don't know. Well, I notice that yours is much larger than mine. I can handle it. So welcome to Virginia. Thank you. I'm excited to have a chance to clarify some of the mystery without giving too much away. Yeah.

So tell us tell us about you know yourself and how did you get started in this and then we'll get into what this is because it's been quite an evolution yeah it really has and i will say first that it started 2004 2005 i got divorced did the three things that a newly divorced fellow does, which is date a stripper for a week, midlife crisis car, and the bachelor pad that you think is cool, but no grown woman would want to live in. And for me, that was a rather obscene manse in New York on the park. I was immediately approached by every nonprofit fundraiser and charity event.

Um, if I would open my home and had a, had a great time for several years, sort of living the life of the Gatsby. No one knew who I was. I was this mysterious stranger from the South and it was, um, it was really a great way to sort of transition into my new life. So what were those first, um, events like that you hosted? Um, I've given my mother credit for this probably a little too often, but does she know this? Gosh, I hope not.

Um, I learned, you know, I learned how to entertain from her, you know, you'd hire a good caterer, make sure the place was clean, get a band that was the very first event. And everyone has such a great time and was so eager to come back that I wanted to step it up a little. And so this is now 15 years of stepping it up a little and making it more evolved, more elaborate, more details, and creating something that I've now learned is really unique, not just in the U.S., but globally, as we have more and more couples now flying in from events from all over the world. Oh, that's nice.

So is that first event, quote unquote, a lifestyle event? They've all been lifestyle. So they've all, they all have an on-premise component to it. Okay. And so what, how, when you first started that though, did you have any idea what it was going to turn into? I have, in several occasions, jumped into things without looking. And, and this was, this was another one. Again, I had only been to one other lifestyle event a decade earlier before I embarked on hosting my own.

And again, just sat with a set of principles and caliber that I wanted to adhere to that I later learned was really unique in the lifestyle. And do you want to talk about some of what are those characteristics that you want your events to have? Well, I should, I should start by saying that when I first started hosting events, I had sold my interest in a public company to which I was still signing the 10 Q's. So discretion, confidentiality were important. Not embarrassing myself or my neighbors was important.

So it was really about bringing together professional couples and singles in the lifestyle who were just something who were looking for something a little bit more than anonymous sex in a dark room with strangers. And so how, what was the response early on? Did, did you start small? Were you, were you surprised by the number of people that found you? Or how did, how did you realize that this was something that people were really going to enjoy? It was truly at the first event, folks were saying things like, oh my gosh, this is the best we've ever been to. When's the next one?

And I would look at my watch and go, it's 1030. Why don't we get through this one? And I'd always sort of focused on no more than 50 couples would do three or four events a year and just try to make them as elaborate as possible. Probably one of the first big changes in the first year was moving from a one-night Saturday night only event to having a dinner party on Friday night before the main attraction for just the wives. Oh, that's a really cool idea. Well, I was watching women come into Thank you.

um before the main attraction for just the wives oh that's a really cool idea well i was watching women come into this event and with sort of an apprehension and fear that something was going to go bad you know they're going to get assaulted in the corner you'd see them sort of clutching their person looking very you know side to side and darting their eyes about and so my thought was if I could get the wives together the night before, then they could get over some of that fear and maybe come back the next night with a new friend or a running mate, a wingman, if you will, to help them navigate.

And then also answer those questions that they might have. And so the house was large enough that we could host 24 for dinner. And again, brought in a good chef, brought in a, you know, some staff and we would hold court, um, for the, for the wives the night before. You know, they say that women run the lifestyle.

So really, you know, in hindsight, that was, that was really genius because I think if we feel comfortable, then that kind of gives our husbands the green light to kind of maybe go ahead and move forward and not have to worry so much about what's really going on in our head since we tend to be very cerebral when it comes to our sexuality you know and this is being I guess um I don't know I guess I'm making a judgment here. But, you know, more so than men. Is that a true statement, Mr. Jones? Yeah.

Guys are just kind of like, you think of it as more of an act and we think of it more as an experience, I think. I think that's true. Right. So then what are, I mean, so we went to the, the event in Miami and you know, you have, you have food, you have the hotel, you have entertainment, you know, sometimes a band, um, sometimes a private concert, you know. I swear that's one of my favorite memories ever.

Like being in that hotel ballroom and having this private concert by inner circle i mean how fun was that i i've never had so much fun dancing and singing um when your event started to grow and you start and you wanted to make them quality events and you're you're wanting five-star service and you're wanting good food and you're and you're wanting good entertainment how did you start finding these people to come in and do this i first of all i didn't realize until only a few years ago that that wasn't the standard oh okay that was that was a big part of it i i was not attending other events i was not going to clubs or resorts i was just doing my thing three or four times a year and inviting people that were a good fit and that appreciated what we were doing that sex was an element of these weekends not the sole focus okay so even for like um the hotel or for, um, do they really understand your events and never, never.

Oh, okay. Yeah, no, it's again, this is not, we don't do takeovers. We approach a, a venue that this is a group of professional couples that want to get together for a social event. Oh, okay. That's good.

So, so get, let's get back to what you were just saying a minute ago so when we first thought about coming to one of your events our impression might have been and mrs jones you can correct me but like oh my gosh these people are going to be out of our league or this is too rich of an event for us um you know we're more middle class we're afraid that when we go there the people are going to be a little bit uptight and well and and just going back to the basics are we going to be attractive enough are we going to be interesting enough you know are we going to fit in yeah i think we were nervous on all levels and and then again you know you go back to our age.

Yeah. But when we got there, we realized that none of that stuff really mattered. No. That we met people who were intelligent. They could hold a conversation. They were interesting to talk to. They weren't pretentious. And they didn't. They were just really nice, interesting people. Yeah. and sometimes you found out what they did for a living, but most of the times that never even came up. Right. So what type of person or couple would fit best with your events? The standard has been, and I've used this phrase before, best of breed. So if you're 50, be a great 50-year-old.

If you're 40, look and act like you're 40. But the reality is it's professionals, folks with undergrad degrees at least, who are well-read, well-spoken, traveled, philanthropic, and who are looking for as much of a social connection as they are a physical one. Okay. So if, um, so when somebody applies, like the first time we went, we had to apply to say, Hey, we're interested in going to one of your events. And then speaking of being ignorant, we didn't, we were naive at the time and didn't realize there was a vetting process. And I got an email back thinking we've been accepted.

And I said, I guess I didn't really realize we were being, that this was a holding pattern. Um, but can you talk about like when, when you have these invitations go out, you know, what are you looking for? How do you, how do you look at that? How do you vet people? And well, the first first challenge is is that a lot of the folks that find us do throw us through the the various dating sites and those sites aren't really set up for a exclusive private curated group if you post an event it immediately becomes open to the public right events are never open to the public.

The other part is we're looking for the same things in that group that you're looking for as a couple. And one of the first ways we start to evaluate is, can you write in complete sentences? And congratulations, can write in complete sentences. Well, I think Mrs. Jones might have edited my book. I do. I am his editor. Got it. And then reading. What did you write in your profile? You know, what did you submit? How many questions and what were the questions came, you know, before we had a dinner? If we have a chance to speak on the phone, what are those questions like?

How entitled and arrogant are you going to try to come come off or are you going to be an easygoing, relaxed, you know, person that just wants to meet other couples of sort of the same caliber. So have you eliminated people because of that, like arrogance and that error that they have about them?

Is it everybody wants to, I think, hang out with their peers, regardless of regardless of what that you know education or economic level looks like and nobody wants to hang out with an arrogant prick and so you should put that on the application are you an arrogant checkbox yeah yeah that's where the vetting process really starts to grab hold. You know, there's a, as you request an invitation to something, there's a notes section. What did you write in the notes? When, if we have a chance to speak on the phone, what, you know, how did you present yourself?

When we get together in person for a dinner, is it, is it all about you or are you more interested in the people sitting next to you? Oh, okay. So then, okay, we, we've, we've been to the event and we've talked about in general your events, but at some point in time, when you did a few of these events, you started doing these dinners called just for dinner. And we went to the very first one. We didn't know it was the very first one.

one we we went and that was three or four years ago maybe so what was the idea i mean you had these events they seem to be growing um they got to a certain point then you started the dinner so what what changed in your kind of your business model there and what's the purpose of the dinners the well there's a few things.

of all this was never a business this was what i had done after solding my company i approached it like most guys play golf you want to get together with your friends have a nice weekend if you make a few dollars lose a few dollars it doesn't matter as long as you don't drive the golf cart into the lake i sit in front of you as someone who has driven all the golf carts into the lake. But I've had the opportunity to sit back on Monday and say that was the event that I wanted to do. We did a black tie spy-themed event at 1UN Plaza in New York.

We've had Santana play after dinner, the whalers in the living room on New Year's Eve for the black tie and lingerie ball these just incredible experiences elaborate over the top but the underlying connection is this this common bond that everyone has of being in the lifestyle right and do you find that most people that attend your events are very experienced in the lifestyle are they mostly new to the lifestyle or is there a mix? I would say leaning towards less experienced because if you're very experienced, then you've found something that works for you and you've been doing that. Okay.

What, who we end up meeting are the couples that are interested. They've dabbled, they haven't found the right venue or the right format of people to connect with, and they're looking for something different. If somebody writes to me, we've been in the lifestyle 20 years, and we've been on 30 cruises, and we've been everywhere, then chances are the group and its events aren't for you. Right.

Because our stuff is so different and formatted so differently than you know every other party and club it's not about you know anonymous sex in a dark room with strangers thank goodness but i think that's what i found so intriguing about it is that the the sex was never like on the agenda so to speak but it was always there because you knew you were all there for the same reason with the same the same common yeah right right so and i and i think just that that underlying current was really it's titillating and it's like okay i want to know more about these What makes them tick?

Why are they here? And what are they interested in? Because that's not something that you stand up and introduce yourself and say, you know, this is our play style or whatever on the first night. You know, you just kind of like get to know people first. Yeah.

And what, we talked about the kind of people that, how you do your vetting and the kind of people that that you're looking for but what kind of couple do you think your events would not be for again i go back to what somebody's looking for if they're looking for anonymous sex with a partner whom they have no connection this is not that okay you know our events are geared over a three or four day schedule with a variety of social events some during the day most in the evening and a lot of time to just on your own meet the other folks in attendance because again we're curating the entire guest list and that makes a big difference Thank you.

just on your own, meet the other folks in attendance. Because again, we're curating the entire guest list and that makes a big difference. It's not like going on a cruise where there's 3000 people and you meet one couple you want to spend the week with. It's about being in a place with say 50 couples and everybody is interesting and everybody is somebody you want to talk to. Right. And that just takes time. Like a target rich environment, right? Target rich. And I want to go back to your earlier question about what predicated the dinners.

Well, we had started with dinners the night before on Friday nights for the wives and that that had evolved to dinners for the couples. And then as the main events became more popular, we had more of a, an issue with folks sort of hacking the guest list, you know, something that you experienced, I'm sure in real life where the photos might be 10 or 20 years older. So does that happen? What, what kind of things have you learned? Oh, tremendous, uh, tremendous, um, deception. But I think, and I want to look at the positives.

I think people do it with the attitude of, Oh, once you meet me, you're going to love me. Yeah. But the reality is if you're 20 years older than everybody else in the room, the weekend's not going to turn out for you the same as it does for everyone else. And as the hosts, we want everyone to have a good time. We want everyone to find people that they connect with.

And there is a physical component to that as much as there is, um, you know, a social component again, that entitled arrogant nouveau riche, you know, we want to sort of sort those people out and we can do it at a dinner pretty, uh, pretty easily. Okay. So the dinner is kind of a vetting process.

The dinners are absolutely the vetting process.'re absolutely that's the in part and again this is we've been doing this a long time so in that period we've figured out how to work with you know music agents and hotel sales staff and catering people and private chefs and helicopter pilots and sound guys and light guys and all the rest. But the last detail to make a flawless weekend come together is to really curate that guest list. And to do that, you've got to meet everyone in person and spend time with them. Right. And the dinners have been a great way to do that.

And the reason just for dinner became separate for the weekends is because we were having so much interest and having so many requests that, you know, we can do, you know, two dinners in a weekend and quickly fly between two cities to meet folks that want to be part of this. Yeah. So just to clarify, then I think what you're saying is if the dinners are a vetting mechanism for being invited to a weekend event, then describe, you know, what are the weekend events like?

I mean, I know they're in different places, but how should you should you come to a dinner if you're not interested in a weekend or do you come to a dinner and then learn more about the weekends? I'm just, how does, how does that all fit together? So there's, so there's three parts to the vetting process. And the first part is the online or the digital communication photos, uh, review of profiles, things like that. The second is the, the dinner itself.

And if that goes well, you can anticipate an invitation to a weekend and at the end of the weekend the other full members of the group will be sent an email saying oh there might be you know six new couples and is there any reason for example we shouldn't invite mr and mrs jones back The events themselves are pretty varied, I think themes from you know we've done a number of weekends in palm beach with social events at wellington for the equestrian center napa with you know vineyards and croquet and golf we do and we help organize a lifestyle friendly camp at burning man things in new york things in europe cuba the caribbean etc so who attends from within the membership of the group the different events is really dictated by the theme so perhaps you know coming to burning man might be a little bit younger demographic than say you know jumping under the stars in wellington so understanding that kind of progression as somebody who attended a dinner i could think of it two ways like if i'm not gonna like your weekends are elaborate and they're very um well put together and they're very um special and there's quite an investment that comes along with that commensurate to the experience that you're gonna get so if i'm not interested in that should i even come to the dinner because and i'll ask the reason why is because we've been to a couple of dinners and we've met some fantastic people just at the dinners.

That we're still friends with. That we're still friends with. Yeah, after years. So would you recommend that if you're really not interested in the larger events that you come to dinner or not? It's a double-sided question because the dinners themselves absolutely have groupies. I can think of a couple from New Hampshire right now that's been to probably 12 dinners in half as many states. That's pretty cool. I'm sure you've met them too. At the same time, it really is just for dinner. There's no after party. There's no playroom.

And yes, people do make connections they do meet at the bar after dinner um and keep up with each other but really it's about meeting this larger curated crowd because again the dinners are going to be you know 10 to 12 couples on average right as opposed to the larger weekend events are going to be more in the you know 40 to 50 couple range so what has been your oh gosh i don't know if you're going to be able to answer this but what what is your favorite what is one of your favorites and why your events as as the person that dreamed them all up in the first place they all they all speak to me for different reasons whether it's skiing in deer Deer Valley or the Secret Ball, which is a spy-themed weekend in New York, time in the islands.

They all bring different things forward, whether it's a more leisurely pace like a vineyard in Napa and an afternoon tasting wine or something more active like parkour through the streets of New York, that there are all different elements that come together for these events. And it's always the challenge of making the perfect event, which is of course impossible, which is why I keep doing it.

So what are, what are so obviously with events, these large, there has to be hiccups every once in a while never so what kind of what kind of things have you run into in the middle i mean you're talking about tens of thousands of dollars or more you're talking about three or four hundreds of thousands of four to five days in some cases international travel uh you know what are what what are like one of the one or two of the things that come to mind like that happened during these events that you have to overcome there have never been any problems come on all right i think probably the most entertaining one we we've been going to Cuba now for several years.

And up until this last year, I've always made arrangements to fly private. So everyone arrives in Miami the night before. We go out to the Fountain Blue FBO. We've got a private jet waiting for us, and we go to Cuba. Except in 2018, when the charter company forgot to file the landing permit in Cuba. Oh no. And with 48 hours notice, we had to come up with a new plan, which meant talking American airlines into giving us all of their first class seats and a premium coach for a flight two days later. Wow. That was a bit of a challenge. But the rest, hopefully, no one ever sees.

I'll throw one more on there. Okay. We had a dinner event scheduled for Beverly Hills, and we've done now almost 200 dinners in five countries. So we've gotten really good at dinners, and I walked into a property, and I'm not going to name it, and I just wasn't getting that warm, fuzzy vibe. There were some things I needed to change, some questions I had, and it just wasn't coming together. So after about 20 minutes of back and forth with the catering manager, I asked her how large our deposit was. And she told me, I said, great, excuse me for a moment.

And I went outside to the sidewalk and I called the catering director at the Viceroy La Hermitage in Beverly Hills, which is a wonderful property. And this was at 3.30 on a Friday night. And I said, I'm just not happy with where I am. Can you accommodate 36 people for a five-course dinner with pairings in four and a half hours? And of course, we've used this property before. The woman knew who I was.

And she said said give me 30 minutes and she called me back at four o'clock and said okay we've hired the staff we've rounded up people to come in on their off day the chef is heading to the store now um we will accommodate your group at at eight o'clock wow so I was then tasked with calling all the guests and saying well we, we're moving the location a mile up the road. And I had to explain why. And everyone had a wonderful evening, a great dinner. All the dietary restrictions were adhered to. And at the end of the evening, the chef came out to say, say hello.

And the man got a standing ovation, a sincere, everybody in the room stood up and knew what he had just accomplished and knew the window of time he had to do it. And it was really touching. I mean, it was, again, it's not solely about the sex. It's about appreciating the people that are involved and the best that community has to offer. And this was a great example of a chef that really rallied to make that happen. And again, with no idea what our common bond was as a group, but understood that it was something that he wanted to make right for us and did a, did an exemplary job. Wow.

That's very cool. Now I know i know that so so there's been some things that have gone wrong and and those are two great stories when we the the impression and the kind of the fear that we had about going to one of your events compared to how we felt afterwards when we were able to look back and think you know what those people were friendly they were normal just like us these ideas and fears that we had in our head at the beginning of the weekend I don't know. what? Those people were friendly. They were normal, just like us.

These ideas and fears that we had in our head at the beginning of the weekend are no longer there. I'm just wondering what kind of feedback do you get from couples after the weekend, especially if it's their first event? It really kind of comes back to, and I'm a firm believer in setting expectations, managing to those expectations. If something changes, making sure people know that those three things are, I think, paramount to the success of the events and why the group has become so cohesive over time.

and there's no there's no common thread other than in these thank you notes other than this has been one of the few, if only experiences in the lifestyle where someone's taken the time to curate everybody in the room. Our events aren't open to the public. It's not about quantity. It's about quality. Right. And I've used this too many times, but I've seen firsthand that there's no correlation between cash and class. Good. That's good to know. And I, and I think that's exactly what we found.

You know, all, all of our fears were put to rest as far as would we have anything common in common with these people?

And, and the, the commonalities of course are that underlying current of you know open-mindedness about your sexuality but it's also they were just genuinely nice people there right that were interested in telling me about themselves and they were interested in hearing about me as a person so you know that's how those friendships are formed and And then once those friendships are formed, then you can kind of explore, you know, what else you might be interested in, you know, and I think kind of taking that approach is, is in a way it's kind of low key and, and, um, makes it more approachable.

Well, think back to one night stands. Yeah. Okay. When you were in your twenties and you discovered those, I assume you discovered those in your twenties. Um, maybe, maybe before then. So I think for some couples in the lifestyle, it's sort of that same thing. You know, you, you've tried the one night anonymous sex approach and now you're looking for something more. Right.

And how do you find that other couple that you're going to connect with at the local club or party if no one's curating to a given standard right right that's always been the case right again i said it started off with looking at other professional couples professional singles in the lifestyle that privacy, confidentiality, security, and also an appreciation of, you know, finer things. Those are all sort of the common standards that everyone shared from the start.

And so the process of doing something online and then in person and then attending a weekend before being finally accepted into this enclave has what's made it so special and maintained its uniqueness because nobody wants to put that amount of effort. It's so much easier just to say, Oh, let's have a lifestyle party at the Ramada than negotiating through all the other, you know. You're not starting from square one when you attend one of your events. You know that you have some basic commonalities. And then, so now you're just basically looking for chemistry. Exactly. Exactly.

And I will say that I have been doing this long enough that I could never predict who you are sexually attracted to. However, what I can do is I can put enough of the right people in the same place that you're going to be attracted to them. And I think between the three of us, we're all at a point that great sex starts between the ears, not the thighs. So if you can't carry on a conversation, if you can't engage me, then this probably isn't going to go very far. So we've been over the past few years, we've been podcasting and been in the lifestyle.

There is this stereotype or this preconceived idea of what the lifestyle is. And it back in the and maybe i'm thinking of the 1970s and the gold chains and all of these sex first um that's not what obviously the three of us are talking about here but i'm wondering if you can talk about how you've noticed that the lifestyle has not necessarily changed but how there there is maybe a different generation of people coming into it or a different type of person coming into it?

Can you talk about over the experience of the last few years when you've been doing this, what type of people are leading you to understand the lifestyle to be so much more than what a lot of people think it is? I want to break that into into two parts. And, and the first really speaks to why I believe in the lifestyle. I was married for 15 years and my first wife and I had one experience, then a second. And as we were driving home and I'm going to summarize the two two-hour conversation on the ride home, or spare you from it, I guess is the better way.

It came down to why are we sleeping with people we wouldn't normally hang out with? And that was it. And we stopped going and that was the end of our foray into the lifestyle. That's a great question. Yeah. And so 10 years later, when somebody saw my new bachelor pad and thought this would be a great venue, again, just wanted to create an environment where people that I wanted to spend time with would feel comfortable. and the step of the lifestyle.

And I love couples who are in their first marriage who are now moving into this space because they accomplished something that I was unable to, is being in the lifestyle forces a series of conversations that you don't have to have, that you can go through a 15-year marriage and never have if you're not exploring and getting into the space. And as I said to one young couple one time, I said to the wife, I said, this is a great opportunity for you because you're going to get a lot of conversation and a lot of meaningful conversation from your new husband.

And I turned to the gentleman and I said, listen, here's the good news. You're going to get to sleep with other women. But for every hour of sex you have with another woman, it's going to take a hundred hours of conversation. And I believe that to be an accurate, accurate breakdown. A good ratio. Yes, I think it is. And, and so that's the part of the lifestyle. It's not the sex, it's the intimacy that it fosters between the couple, I think is the real, the real benefit of this.

And I think that in listening to your podcast all these years, it's what I've heard, whether you've kind of noticed on it or not, is that the topics of conversation that you've had to have that you didn't have to have previous to all of this, correct? Yes. I mean, I, for our marriage, that has been the biggest benefit is, is the new communication skill that we've been forced to develop the hundred hours per hour of service. Yes. Yeah. That's a great point. And, And I know you're going to make another point about that.

But we had just talked about this idea of, we just talked about age differences and these perceptions that we have and stereotypes that we have. But what you just described cuts across socioeconomic divides, ages, and everything else that we've been talking about. And that, that it comes down to the relationship that you have with your partner and how that, that the lifestyle requires of you.

Um, and to your, I love the analogy that you used about a hundred hours of conversation, but I think most guys like me are just super motivated at that point in time because that one of sex with somebody else is it'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. I'm going to keep talking. I'm going to keep talking. But I think that's a great point that I think a lot of people miss when they look at your events. And they see this exotic weekend, and they see the price tag on it. And they have this idea that in order to attend something like that, um, it's about the money.

But I love the way that you just described that because it's the same common denominator that we talk about all the time. Well, it's the issue of the money is for, I think many of the couples in the group, it's not about the money. It's about their free time. And the reality is, is that they're in management or they're in their business owners and they've got, you know, families and children and maybe ex-wives and ex-children and however you want to phrase that, but they have a lot of obligations and responsibilities and drains on their time.

So actually have a weekend with your spouse, just just the two of you and be able to immerse yourself in a lifestyle community the question becomes is it worth it for to go something you know less expensive that's uncurated or are you more comfortable at a five-star property you know is that your norm or is that the exception to what you're doing but the reality is if you're going to stay in a nice hotel have wonderful food and alcohol and great entertainment that does come with a price yeah but it's about again enjoying the best that place has to offer and spending time with your peers right well and and like you just said a lot of the value is intangible yeah the hotel costs this much per night and the meal costs this much per night and and we got a private concert by this band and you could say it's this much but but really what what the whole value is is the experience and the company that you're going to be keeping and just having that all put together for you in a very thoughtful way you know instead of having to go out and and pick that stuff out yourself and then you're still not going to have these other you know 20 30 40 couples that have been pre-screened for you that you that you the likelihood of you making a connection with you know is very high um there's value to that definitely well that's that's really the big difference we've got to go back to that again that it's do you want to have anonymous sex with strangers in a dark room or do you want to spend a few days meeting other folks that have the same interests and are your peers socially and that's what the group is all about definitely yeah and i think back to your point about the cost and and if and what your expectations are and are you comfortable is your expectation a five star and i can i can honestly say that mrs jones and i it was a special treat to stay at the Miami Fountain Blue because we don't normally stay.

So it doesn't necessarily mean that that's the accommodation that you're used to, but I just remember being there looking around thinking, I can't believe that we're here.

And when we went to the penthouse party, to be able to go up to that top floor and look out and see it was magic up and down the beach for miles and think you know this is this event is something that I will never forget yes it was a bigger investment than I wanted but it's the lifestyle portion of it was nice but it was just something that the two of us would have never done if we would not have, you know, taken that step to do that. Right.

And to your point about quality versus quantity, and we hear this from people all the time, when you're talking about adding up dollars, if you stop and think about how much time and effort and money you spend going out to dinner with a couple that you may not, you know, hook up with or may not get along with or going to a hotel takeover or going to a club and then not meeting anybody or it just takes up so much of your time that you don't have, there's value. Think of it like speed dating, right?

If back when you were single and you went on one date, you only had to make a connection with the other person, right? But now that you've got four people sitting in a room, that's, you know, do the math, do the math. Thank you. Where's the math? I'm right here. All right. And, and so it only takes, I think for a number of couples, a few failed attempts of organizing schedules, picking a place to meet, getting a babysitter, traveling there, and then walking in and going, oh my gosh, that's just not the couple we were anticipating meeting. And I've just wasted a Friday night.

It's from there that couples evolve into wanting to go to parties, wanting to go to clubs, sort of that speed dating aspect. But again, if no one's curating the group in that space, how many people do you have to talk to and fail? And do you have time and are the standards the same? And I think that's always the challenge for any, anybody entering the lifestyle that already doesn't have a network of, of friends is to find a space where they're going to hang out and meet people that they consider peers and they're comfortable with. Okay.

I don't want to lose the, there was another thought that you had about, you said two thoughts about where you see the lifestyle going and how it was changed over the years. I have over time, I want to say, I see, I see the lifestyle and sexuality now on a spectrum that I didn't in the start. And the terms that I'm sure you guys have covered in the past, full swap and soft swap, um, those are definitely early on separations, but I've heard now more recently, I love the term dirty vanilla. Yeah, I like that. I think that's great. And I have some good friends that absolutely fit in that category.

But the reality is, you know, if we look back to when Mr. Jones and I probably first became aware of swinging in its many forms, it was probably in the back of some magazine that was talking about, you know, send your Polaroid to a P.O. box. Okay. Not that we did that. Yeah. No, you know, send your Polaroid to a PO box. Okay. Not that we did that. Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. I'm that old.

But at the same time, you know, I have, I have college age children and to sit and listen to their conversations about, you know, who's dating, who who's with, who it was a boy this week, it was a girl next week, it's just very much the standard.

And so where I see the change is if you look at the dating sites now, the established ones that have been out there, APG, SDC, Cassidy, whatever, as you look at photos of baby boomers, it's always from the chin down chin down right but if you go and look at the sites that are more geared towards the millennials like felt it's always from the chin up it's always that selfie at the beach the bar and again you've got an entire generation that since the day we gave them cell phones has been tweeting about their breakfast and their bong hit and their bowel movement and their girlfriend.

And so sexuality is just right in there and just as open as everything else. And I think that's the big change that you're sort of seeing in the lifestyle is it's the taboo is really coming off of it for the younger generations. And meanwhile, the boomers are still struggling it with in some context. At the same time, also very interested because now their kids are out of the house and they do want to sort of spend that time and reconnect with their spouse. So it's definitely a dichotomy of attitudes that is tricky to navigate.

But it all comes back to, and again, I think why the podcast has always been so popular. It's that education and speaking coherently as opposed to making it all TNA, which I think is, you know, what so many people have turned off by. That's a good point.

And just on that note, what do you find any millennials attending your events or or is it just mostly baby boomers that's interesting because i get that question a lot what's the average age and the reality is for the big events it's the theme of the event that sort of skews the demographic right so right so burning man is going to maybe pull people that are a little bit younger than say an equestrian event in Palm beach. Right. At the same time, the dinners and who's attending the dinners. First of all, it's not really about who else is at the table, right? It's about you at the table.

Um, it's not about the meal, the meal will be great, but again, it's really about progressing into the group. And so the demographics of a dinner is really predicated by the job market in that city. And if you look at places, I'll tell you the youngest, the youngest audiences, the youngest members of the group are coming from San Francisco, Chicago, and New York.

And the reason is the job market right because you can be 28 35 and have an amazing six-figure salary on the other hand if you're in naples florida chances are you're 50 plus this is your second or third house and you're an entirely different demographic than somebody working in Silicon Valley. Right. So it's the same formula. It's just different. The environment makes it the age group a little bit different. Exactly. So let's, let's talk a little bit about you used to, this used to be, do you know George? And, and now you've evolved to this just for dinner and the group.

So can you talk a little bit about what you've evolved to and where you're headed with this in the future? Well, in the beginning and in the very first year, a couple I knew started really the do you know George statement. And it was meant, you know, as a euphemism. People in AA, you know a friend of Bill's. And so Do You Know Georgia became something that they started using out. And what I liked about it is it was different than pimps and hoes and plush and some other suggestive name.

And hopefully it made people stop and huh maybe this is different and for about again 10 years these events were done with a passion for detail and curating the crowd but it just got to a point that it was no longer about what George could create. It was really about the other people in attendance. And so migrating from Do You Know George to making the focus more on this group of people was really important for me to do. The dinners are, again, part of that stepping process into the group.

And I like Just for Dinner because it's pretty clear that it's just for dinner right the number of emails i receive where people say well what time does the after party start and there you go and you have to say read the title again read the title and that becomes part of the vetting process right there. Um, it's again, it's amazing how many people want to find something different, but won't stop and think for a moment that something different than what they're used to is going to have different parameters, right?

You can't send a dinner invitation or submit an invitation request, you know even two weeks before a dinner and think that there's going to be space. We have dinners coming up in September, so six months from now, that are already half committed. Everything we do because of the size of the group is filled. The question is, when is it going to fill? And that's, again, not what people are used to in the lifestyle. When everything's about quantity, you can always slide in on Saturday night. And that's, again, a very different standard than what people are used to.

So, so this group that you're becoming a part of, if you successfully pass the interview at dinner, um, how many events are you doing every year? Do you think that's going to stay? I mean, you do a heck of a lot of traveling and, and before I ask that question though, you don't do this by yourself, right? So how many, how many, like, what does your support look like? So right now we're doing 75 events a year in five countries.

If that kind of gives you just think about that for a moment so london to mexico city um vancouver to the caribbean we are everywhere so about 26 cities a year we're in at least once if not twice the the team is really distributed from the Philippines to Pakistan. We have a lot of support staff doing different elements in different countries, um, and making it all happen does take a tremendous amount of time. And I want to say that it was probably four years ago, right, right before you and I met that one of the, one of the couples I know said, you know, there's something here.

There's a reason why we're all traveling around the country and it's not just to spend time with you. So how about take this more seriously and, and figure out what it is. We'll support you. We'll help you. We just can't tell you what it is, but you're, you're a bright guy. You figure it out. And so I spent a lot of time really thinking about what it was, why people were committing their free time, um, making the, and that was it. That was really the investment, right? It's the investment of their free time. The money was sort of secondary to that.

And, and I got to spend time with some really amazing, interesting, accomplished folks and see them two or three times a year. So what was it? What was driving that? And I think it was a combination of things. It was the level of service that they were going to receive from all platforms, whether it was the hotel, the estate, the venue, the yacht, whatever. It was the people that they were going to get to spend time with. And it had all been reduced down to a simple decision of yes or no. There was no picking venues. There was no curating where you needed to go. That was all handled for you.

You simply looked at a menu of options and said, great, I'm going to arrive Thursday, I'm going to leave Sunday, I'd like this level of accommodations. And that's it. And we told you no other details. And we still handle it that way. Again, privacy and discretion are big. So we're going to tell you, you know, where we're going to be in Napa, where we're going to be in New York, but we're not going to give you the specifics that protects you.

It protects else from you know somebody with malintent right and it gets us to this point where you're walking in and you know there's going to be a valet when you get to the hotel you know there's going to be a James Beard chef you know at least one night maybe a Michelin star or two floating around there's always grammy winners either in attendance or performing or both these are all elements that make for a great weekend experience and i will say that before we sat down to record this we were talking and you were bringing up names of people that you met in Miami three years ago. Yeah.

And not just one couple, I mean, multiple couples. Right. And I think that's, that really speaks to the success. And I've watched this over and over again.

It's the couples that, you know, live in say a small town somewhere and, you know know the likelihood of meeting their peer in their age group in their you know socioeconomic bracket in that small town in the lifestyle who they can be open with is probably zero right right but if they can spend a few days meet a couple couples you know during a weekend, during a weekend, I've watched these, um, not just, uh, friendships across state lines, but international sincere friendships that evolve and continue to go on.

Um, as well as, you know, uh, an assortment of, of business relationships that have come out of that as well. Because again, if I trust you to sleep with my wife and you don't screw that up by texting her when I'm not looking or some other nefarious action, then chances are I'm going to trust your professional opinion, if not seek it out in the future. And I've seen some really interesting, actually well-known things come out of this over the years that have been sort of fun to watch.

You asked a minute ago if there was sort of one point that i wanted to emphasize and and that was really the nature of the group and the events it's about professional couples wanting to get together with their peers and experiencing the best that a given city has to offer, whether it's food, music, venues, entertainment, and that sex is an element of that event, not the sole focus. I think that's the thing that really has differentiated us all this time is that it's about putting people together that want to connect. Yeah.

As opposed to just, and I think that statement should go a long way to make people feel a whole lot more comfortable giving it a try because if you take the sex out of the equation then you're going into an unknown situation but what do you have to fear it's just a restaurant you've never eaten at before people you've you have not met before maybe a city you've never visited before at the end of the day yeah i'm going to have a great experience with you right um at this wonderful restaurant and and with very enjoyable people is the chemistry going to be there you're not going to know that until you get there there's no way you can vet that ahead of time chemistry is intangible and and i think we're the one of the things that created this vision in my mind was the tom cruise movie the eyes wide shut because it was tuxedos it was exclusive it was rich people it was going into a venue that was really secretive and then they got in there and it was all sex and i think that type of image is what All right.

and then they got in there and it was all sex and i think that type of image is what creates that fear that like maybe that's what i'm walking into so here's the reality is this i and i hear this regularly about couples saying gosh we wish there was a better club or a better party in our town and better typically costs more, right? A better venue, better catering, better, whatever. And to be able to afford that now you're looking for a bit more affluent clientele.

And if you are in a small city, the likelihood that you're going to risk your career right to seen in public is, you know, it's pretty steep. So that's part of the reason why so many of the lifestyle events are sort of on this lowest common denominator attitude because professional couples really can't risk in a lot of cases being public about, interests. So the lifestyle weekends and things that we organize are going to appeal to folks who, again, can afford it, who want to spend time not just in something mediocre, but something really special that they'll take back that memory from.

And that's the part that differentiates, right? Everything else is sort of to the masses and that's not what this is about. At the same time, you know, we don't do hotel takeovers.

We take a small block of rooms in fabulous properties, or we charter a number of yachts or something in that direction maybe a number of villas on a coastline somewhere and no one is going to in our group walk through the hallway with their dick hanging out to be quite blunt it's just that not it's just not that sort of crowd right um everything is sort of behind closed doors in your own you know room or suite right and again people knowing how to behave in the venue they're in yeah we don't we don't call these properties and say oh hey we'd really like to have a big swinger party at the St.

Regis. Yeah, we just talked about the same thing. Because the events and the meet and greets that we're hosting, we don't worry about playrooms too because our philosophy is if four people want to have sex, they'll figure out they can go back to their room. You don't have to have a playroom to do that. Right, and we trust that they can act appropriately until they get behind that closed door. Yeah, or they haven't been listening to us long enough to know the rules. So as we start to wrap up, we've been to three of your events, or two dinners and the main event.

And I've learned a lot just in the past hour talking to you.

But you have a couple of websites, but I i think the easiest thing for people to do especially if you're listening to we got a thing is to go to our website and under what things we recommend you're going to find a link to just for dinner and you're going to find a link to the group website exactly and on that website i think you even have like youtube videos now oh there, there's a, there's a number and I, and I want to clarify too, and given the opportunity that there is a, a spokesperson that we've been using for a number of years that helps narrate and set expectations for people.

And Tim has become a dear friend as we've been producing these together now for several years. I'm not Tim. Did Tim ask you to say that? No, actually my wife did. The number of people that walk into a room looking for Tim, he's me. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. It's not, do you know, Tim? Yeah. Damn it. Well, that's great.

Thanks for gosh, making the effort to come all the way up here and record with us and and i i can't tell you um and and what we do to to try to help you understand how many people ask about do you know george is when somebody says hey mr and mrs jones we're going to go to a george dinner in denver or we're going to go and we always say make sure you tell george that mr and m said hello. So that, so that, and they come back and they say, we told them that we said hello. So we. And I have helped dress a lot of the ladies that come to your dinners. Yeah. Here's your big challenge. Okay.

So the next big event is the secret ball. Ooh. A spy themed weekend in New York. And on Saturday night, fashion for this black tie event is formal wear, eastern or western. Oh, wow. So gown and tuxedo or sari and shirwani. Oh, Mr. Jones is a sucker for a sari. I am. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, we met a couple at Desire that she wore a sari. Oh, that's going to be an amazing event. It's going to be really exciting. And where is this event? It's going to be in Manhattan in June. Okay, June of 2019. Yeah.

I was intrigued by the tuxedos and lingerie theme that you mentioned that you had done in the past. That's where I met my wife. Oh, see, that's nice. Somebody brought her as their guest. Somebody brought her as their guest? Uh-huh. Oh, so there's a story behind it. There is. That'll be in our next episode. Okay. Something to stay tuned for. But nothing like having the whalers in the living room for New Year's Eve for the black tie and lingerie ball. Oh, yeah.

And at the evening the uh the drummer came to me and said you know george we we tour 250 nights a year we're all over the world and um gosh i really hope you invite us back this is the best party we've ever been to really so when the whaler so when the whalers say that you feel like you've really set the mark yes you've arrived to heck with the lifestyle people when the whalers say yeah that's right that was an accomplishment so when people get to your website they'll they'll find all the information they'll find your upcoming dinners they'll find your upcoming events and they'll find a place to send for more information on there as well correct okay anything else mrs jones i don't know this has just been a great interview and uh just a nice treat to have George come visit us for the afternoon.

Thank you so much for inviting. I appreciate it. And these microphones get a little less intimidating as the mimosas keep flowing. Well, I had no idea four years ago or three years ago when we went to the first just for dinner that we would have continued a relationship with you and attended more of your events. And it's just been part of our journey, but something that we've enjoyed immensely and we highly recommend. I appreciate that. And I hope you have me back. There's some other exciting things on the horizon that I'm looking forward to bringing back.

That's a good excuse for us to get back together. Yeah, teasing up part two. I can't wait to hear about that. the future. Well, that's a good excuse for us to get back together. Yeah, teasing up part two. Yeah. Can't wait to hear about that. All right. Well, thanks, everyone. And we'll be right back with closing up our podcast episode, right? Stay tuned.

well welcome back we hope you enjoyed listening to our conversation with george i certainly learned a lot i think a little bit of the mystique a little of the mystery we pulled the veil the curtain open a little bit and learned a little bit more about george and his events well you know i just i can't believe george was nervous i just i think that's very endearing for for those of you that have not had the opportunity to meet george yet george is a very handsome well put together guy and he's like totally like large and in charge well and i i just thought it was very endearing. Yeah.

And I think hopefully what we were trying to do and what George did a very good job of doing is coming across like he's just a normal guy. He is a normal guy. You know, I think just the whole mystique behind that whole do you know George thing.

And then you hear him talk about how he brings in these grammy award-winning artists and these five-star um venues that he chooses for his events you're like oh my gosh this guy is so well connected like what do i have in common with him well he puts his pants on just like the rest of us and when you get him one-on-one he's just a normal guy yeah and and like you said you know the people that come to his events are just regular normal people like us as well yes and i think that was one of the pleasant surprises that you and i got out of that definitely you know like like we said earlier when we were talking to george you know we were we were a little um unsure about what what we would have in common to talk about with people right and when you find kind people, it doesn't matter what their level of income is or what size their house is or how many toys they own.

People are just genuinely kind, interesting people. Yeah. And I think also knowing that even if you can only attend one of these events, because they are not inexpensive, you get what you pay for, not just with the amenities and with the event and with the food and the entertainment and the connections, but just the experience that he provided, especially when we went to the Miami one. I mean, that's an unforgettable weekend that the two of us will never forget.

So, you know, it's just worth, we feel like the value is in the experience that we spend together and really having fun in our marriage. Right. And, you know, when we attended the first dinner, we were actually quite new to the lifestyle.

And even the Miami event that we went to, we were fairly new and and just knowing that we were going there and we weren't going to run into scary people right you know that these people were going to be like-minded and weren't going to get drug into like you know a dark hallway or whatever and accosted and we've made a lot of friends at george events yes we have still close friends yes um so it you know that in itself has been a very memorable part of the experience. So like we said, if you go to our website, wegotathing.com, there's a page that says things that we recommend.

And if you click on that page, you'll find links to the Just for Dinner website and also the website for the group where you can learn about Just for dinner where they're going to be how you can apply to go and you can look at some of the the group events and where they're going to be across the country and see if there's anything that piques your interest oh i mean and his his group events are so diverse you know so you you can when you look at the list certainly something is going to be appealing to you. Yeah. And if you have any questions, you can always email us as well.

You can email me at mrjones at wegotathing.com. And you can email me at mrsjones at wegotathing.com. And I love to help ladies pick out their dresses just for dinner. Yeah. If you're going to go to one of his events, let us know. Or better yet, when you get back, share one of your stories with us. That's right. We'd love to hear it. Yeah. Well, thank you again, George. It was a lot of fun, and we look forward to the next time we can join him at one of his events. That's right. Until next time. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and we got a thing. What's your thing? We'll see you next time.