Two Unicorns, Front Massage in Our Secret Spot – P03

Transcript

This is C. And this is Dee. And this is Swinging Down Under. This is our third podcast in, and we're going to talk to you tonight about our next newbies event at a local club. Yep. So it's a club here in Sydney, and they specialize in couples and obviously unicorns. That's pretty much the vibe for a lot of the clubs here in Sydney. There's generally Friday, Saturday night are all couples and single women. Single women, of course.

Yeah, could never have too many unicorns apparently that seems to be the general vibe in the swing as well so similar to last time we head out for a lovely dinner together and a couple of drinks before we head into the club a little bit nervous i'm sure about i guess what this club's going to hold so at this point we've only been to the one other club and so we don't really know what to expect in terms of the location, the people that are in there, what to do. And I guess after our little soiree and bit of a freak out on the last time too, I was probably a little bit nervous myself.

Probably a little more nervous than the first time around, I think, because you were concerned about the overcommitment last time around and didn't want to repeat the same thing this time. Yeah, absolutely. After dinner, head into the club. So you have to buzz in and you'll be generally greeted by a hostess who will basically just get your details if you're actually just coming into the club. So if you're entering one of these clubs and you're a little bit concerned, they're going to take down your name and number. It's just so they know who's been in there for the evening.

So don't worry about that. In this particular club's case, there's actually two entrances, which we only learned about a month ago, I suppose now, and we've been at this club a few times in the last six months. There's a front and a back door. Now, the back door is what we've always come in through. We didn't realise that there was even a front door until just recently. A lot of these clubs as well, there's something to mention, I suppose, is that they can offer memberships.

You'll be given the opportunity if you want to purchase membership, which allows a cheaper entry fee the next time you go. Yeah. So we turn up at the back door. This time around after dinner, we were very early. It's actually a newbies night. I'm not sure whether we mentioned that. And we still considered ourselves very fresh and newbies at that point, probably feeling a little bit less like that now, but still fairly new.

And when we turned up, I think this time around, we were just just about the only couple in there so as we realized there were no couples there and it is a newbies night the hostess decided that she would happily take us into not only the standard area but also up into the dressed down area fully clothed which was a good thing i suppose because it gave us a chance to look around the club oh let's see, give you an idea of the layout. As you come past into the entrance area, there's a locker room, which is fairly standard, so you can pop your personal items away.

Heading on the hallway, there's the bar area.

So again, it's staffed by the hostess, and this is where you can put your alcohol that you bring along for the evening, or just standard drinks, which they'll provide mixes for next to that was a really really interesting room actually because i'd never seen anything like this before um and so it kind of freaked me out kind of was interesting i don't know so there's an open area with it's basically a cage it's got barns on the front and inside is a it's a it's a small bondage play area yeah but i'll let you describe what's in there so it's a there's a cross there where you can be bound on the cross otherwise there's also that little it looks like a medieval hangman thing what is it called you put your head in and your hands i don't know i don't know what it's called anyway so you've got your head in your hands basically stuck in there and then there's a variety of whips and chains and cuffs and things hanging on the walls.

I don't know about the chains. There's certainly some whips. There's some paddles. I'm explaining my first experience. That's what I saw, chains. There's definitely some handcuffs in there, but chains, not a lot of chains. No, there isn't now. So I saw that and I didn't even know what I was thinking. I was like, oh, my God, if this is the first room, what are the other rooms going to look like, like if this is the entrance? But you can watch from the outside as we have done, and we'll talk about that in a later episode, actually. I just remember they're called stocks. Oh, right.

They're called stocks. So have a Google, guys, if you don't know. So as we're walking then on the lower level still, there is a little comfort area, so a couple of couches and stripper pole, and then there's another area as well that's separated by a wall, just, again, a little comfort area, lots of couches and tables and candles. With a very large TV playing, just a montage, I suppose, of sexy erotica. Yeah.

and some of them we've sat through and watched the full sequence now some of them are desperately sexy and others are well not to your taste desperately disgusting no just not to your taste not to my taste yes and then upstairs once you head upstairs and as d mentioned a little bit earlier it's the dress down. So generally when you're heading up to some of these areas, the club will make a recommendation that you dress down to – It's not a recommendation. It's a requirement. We'll say a recommendation. Which is entirely different to a recommendation.

But it's a dress-down area, so you would go down to some lingerie, some knickers, or if you'd like, just your birthday suit or a towel towels are okay that's actually something that we've forgotten our last podcast typically in certainly in the clubs we've been to there's been towels supplied as part of the entry fee as well yeah absolutely so we head upstairs at this point you know fully dressed as dee mentioned because the club is a little bit quiet to your left you have a room again i've never seen one of these in play at this point either so it's a it's a never seen one of these at all alone in play no that's right at all that's We'll be right back.

To your left, you have a room. Again, I've never seen one of these in play at this point either, so it's a – Never seen one of these at all, not alone in play. No, that's right, at all. So it's a bedroom, double bed. There's a couch there for viewing, but there's a swing hanging from the roof, a sex swing, which intrigued me to no point, as you can imagine. Ladies out there, I'm sure you can probably imagine that that is something that looks quite intriguing. That bedroom in particular is... It's a voyeur's room. Yeah, hence the couch, I suppose.

Yeah, hence the couch and also the door being locked backward with a chair. That's right, yeah. So then there is another private room and all of these rooms also contain showers and bathrooms as well. So you can have a bit of a private area if you need to.

Well, this is the only private private room contains you know a double bed a couple of stands and you know the shower and everything off to the side and this door can be closed if it needs to be and locked heading up around the corner is a couple of massage tables which wasn't at the last club and again kind of intrigued me i thought this is really interesting you know it can be quite sexy to give somebody a massage or watch somebody getting a massage, but also maybe in my mind, I was thinking, okay, this might be a little bit of a soft way to… Especially these massage tables, for those of you who've had a massage in the past, there's generally a hole for your face to go through.

Now, was there anything different about these massage tables? There was a little bit of a modification done to these ones there was a um would you call it a peekaboo hole down below yeah an additional hole sort of hanging out in the um genital style area i'm going to say it's for comfort that's what yeah it's just for male comfort it's for male comfort um so a couple of these massage tables and then you know another hot jacuzzi or a, depending on where you live in the world, which is just delightful. I love jacuzzis and spas. You love everything hot. Saunas, jacuzzis, hot showers. Yeah.

So, again, I'm thinking, yes, this is going to be great. So that's the layout of the club. So there's an upstairs area and a downstairs and quite well laid out. As we said before, it's something about 10 months old at this point. So the decor is all new. It's very well laid out, well designed. It's quite a cool, funky place. Yeah, and it's funky. If it weren't a swingers club, it would make a very good pub, just a cool, funky hangout pub. Yeah. Minus the swingers pole, sorry, the strippers pole, of course, and a few other things. Probably the naked people roaming around.

Probably the naked, yeah.

naked yeah that would probably be a requirement as well i would think we'll get to something a little later we actually missed something in this tour that we discovered next time around that the hostess got a little a little kerfuffled coming back past the bar area i actually think she had to go and and welcome somebody else yeah there was actually there's a group playroom up above where you can stow all your gear we didn't know about this we actually only found it on the way out or we didn't even find it on the way out but there's some more stories coming about that anyway so the next step for us was by this stage as you mentioned another couple turn up and there were a few other people coming as well i think some people that arrived while we're the time we'd come back down, by memory, there was kind of one couple sitting around the corner actually on their own and then another couple in the other seating area on their own.

So we had the bar. Being a newbie's night, I think everyone was sort of sitting in the corner hoping that the world didn't come to an end. I think it's who's going to make the first move? Who's going to say the first hello?

You know, know how does this all happen do we just kind of catch each other's eye across the other side of the room and so romantic so we get some drinks and we head up there and being overt and sales as c has a sales history as well so the first thing we do is start introducing ourselves to people it's something nice isn't it really yeah and then we got rid of the separation between all these couples by saying guys let's all get together in this room next door and just talk and that's how it kicked off rearranged some furniture and included everybody in a big semi-circle yeah a big semi-circle around yeah around the strippers pole so yeah we were there and at by this stage there were actually quite a few couples and for the first time ever for us, there was a unicorn in the room.

Not just one unicorn. Two unicorns. Two unicorns. Actually, two unicorns came together to this event, to the Newbies event, which was quite interesting. We had an American couple sitting beside us and a set of North Queensland farmers across us.

Now, there were other couples in the room and unfortunately, I suppose, the people who stand out are generally the people who are the most obnoxious or the most interesting oh that's right yeah yeah so in the case of the American couple they were the most interesting and the North Queensland couple probably fit into the I wouldn't say the most obnoxious but they were either terrified or I mean we were terrified, but it was probably more that we tried to involve them a number of times and we just got nothing back.

And the lady of the couple kept disappearing regularly and like every two or three minutes and just wandered around, which was a little confusing to us, I suppose, when you're trying to have a bit of a chat and form a bit of a rapport before potentially being involved in any play. Now, for those of you who this is your first podcast we mentioned last time around, we'd actually gotten rid of all of our rules at this point. So we came into this event totally open to whatever might come at us. And whatever might feel comfortable. Whatever might feel comfortable, yeah.

I guess the thing to note is that the American couple, I don't actually live here,'re actually traveling which i was thinking wow that's really interesting you know and so we were talking to them you know the usual questions what do you guys do how long have you been in the lifestyle you know so how many events have you been to what have you done you know i mean it's depending that can be a bit of a confronting question um it's actually really depends on the vibe that you get you know yeah just finding it well finding out whether Well, finding out whether somebody's, what people are open to.

And I suppose in our case, we're probably a little unusual that we've just decided comfort is our level of rule. Whereas some other people, they have an absolute line in the sand. You know, you will not kiss or you'll ask permission before anything happens. So it really comes down to the individual couple. Yeah.

And had the you know the couple from interstate so that was also very interesting that you know a lot of these people have traveled actually to attend some of these events yeah well certainly the north queensland farmers to put it in perspective it's a what is a five hour flight to get from where they are to sydney in fact i just remembered the other couple they were also from interstate they were down on a business trip oh that's right they were too and they're actually business colleagues they were business colleagues that's right they weren't a couple they were business colleagues and they'd attended together which we thought was really interesting because interesting but also i was i was looking for like wedding rings yeah we were all looking for wedding rings away for a dirty weekend that was kind of fun just kind of talking to all the different people and i guess that brings us back to why we found it so obscure you know having these initial questions to talk to people and sometimes people can be a bit concerned about giving their personal information over i think we're open books pretty much yeah that sort of stuff we figure if you're there you're there for the same secret, dirty reason as us.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So after, I suppose, a while of chatting, getting to know people, C being the cold-blooded critter in the room decides that it's time to head on up to the spa. Absolutely. Yeah, because these places, all clubs are generally quite warm and we were midwinter at this point coming into this club. Well, actually, maybe early winter is a better descriptor, but they're quite warm. You know, there's generally people going to be walking around naked at some point. In towels and down to their knickers.

So they keep them quite warm, but for C, warm is nowhere near warm enough, so we were up to the spa. So we head on down to the locker room, and C got changed into a lingerie set, which, again... No, it was actually some togs. For those of you out there who have never heard of this brand, they're called Wicked Weasel. And for those of you out there who've never heard of the word togs, because it is a very Queensland Australianism... Sorry, it was a bikini, very, very small. So they're called microkinis. Yeah, well. And this particular one actually. Micro Minimus from Wicked Weasel.

We're in no way affiliated. We just. Love them. Well, I'm affiliated because I just can't stay off their site. You should have shares really. They keep sending me, they know me. They send me emails and something pops up and I'll just, I might just secretly purchase this.

And ladies, that's, you know, it's just so terrible an occasion when you come home to a brand new set of bikini or lingerie sitting on the bed you know it's just a terrible terrible thing when your partner buys you these delicious treats so i did buy this and i have to say i would probably consider it more on the lingerie side than on the bikini side mainly because it's entirely see-through no no you may remember the see-through patches are in very interesting spots so generally well yeah that's what i mean that's what i mean by entirely see risque lingerie might have the little see-through spots on the say for example on a breast on the outside no these ones are smack bang in the middle so a bit of a cheeky nipple poke every now and then cheeky vagina poke cheeky vagina poke so maybe not vagina poke no that's not the right terminology there at all totally different game yeah so he gets changed into that i get changed into a towel because i learned from our last little escapade that heading into a hot tub in a swingers club as a male is definitely a new thing and if you're comfortable with it, absolutely.

And this particular area is dressed down and unfortunately for me, C doesn't spend the same sort of time finding lingerie as what I do for her. A bit one-sided though. Yeah, it is a bit one-sided. So we're into the hot tub and, oh, excuse me, actually, this is C's first interaction with the girl on the way up. Yeah, but more so I, because, you know, at this point I'm pretty nervous in terms of showing my body. You know, I'm like, oh, am I going to be okay? I don't know why, because it is drop-dead gorgeous. How do I feel, you know? Yeah, and I get this, I actually get this a lot from people.

You know, they say, like, what are you talking about? You could be walking around naked, it's fine.

And so she says says you know i'm i've got this tiny tiny micro bikini on and i've got the towel wrapped around me and they're kind of having a conversation with a few other couples in this is the american couple again yeah and she says you know give us a look like show us what you got kind of thing and first of all i was like a deer in the headlights and then what felt like minutes went past but probably just a few seconds I was like ah stuff it opened up the towel did a bit of a sexy shimmy and then I decided that was probably about enough of that and back up again yeah yeah so we head up upstairs in the hot tub in we plop in we plomp sorry with three other couples um I don't really have a great deal of memory of the couple unless you fill any gaps in here soon not really i i don't recall seeing them downstairs probably because we were engrossed in conversation with the other couples i vaguely recall then there being three couples we hopped in chatted but very briefly and it was hot i'm going to say i mean i love the heat but this time around it it was hot was ridiculously hot.

And we will cover this out in another podcast. But this particular tub was set to 42 degrees Celsius. I'm sorry, forgive me. For you Fahrenheit people? Yeah, we're not adept at converting for that one. Let's just say it was hot, bloody hot. Really? So I actually said I can't do this anymore.

I got out and stood there for a little bit while you were still in the tub yeah i think you were just chatting were you naked at this point no no i had my bikini on okay i thought you ditched it by this point no i was very surprised why you were just balls in the hot tub though that was i remember thinking like wow that's go you well can i say when my balls first hit the water of the hot tub at 40 degrees, I did rethink it. I actually rethought the entire idea of the hot tub at that point. I felt like a lobster. Yeah. I want to just mention at this point as well, so there's naked people.

Oh, yeah, they're everywhere. When you first kind of see naked people, you have this like shy reaction almost. I don't know.

I can't for d but personally you know i see these naked people and my first instinct is to turn around and like oh and just look away you know like i shouldn't be looking and then my second instinct now into the lifestyle is hold on a second it's out there i'm allowed to i'm gonna look i'm gonna check you out although i have to say there is no after being through to a few clubs and a few hot tubs there is no way a woman can get out of a hot tub in or out in or out of the hot tub it's impossible without displaying really displaying yeah which is not a bad thing depending on where you sit i've tried to do it the last time i think it did work out for you i think i'm okay let me tell you the other guys in the hot tub, no.

And all eyes are on you at that point as well. There is no getting away with that. Yeah. You can just look over there. Yeah. You can't lie secretly, get out of the hot tub. Yes. By this stage, I mean, I'm much warmer-blooded than C, so I was well keen to get out of the hot tub. So we did, and we actually head on over to the massage tables, which are right near the hot tub. Oh, you can see them from the hot tub, yeah. Yeah, and I asked her whether she'd be interested in getting a massage from me now. So, yeah, and she was. There's a surprise. Of course.

What woman is going to turn down any massage at any time of the day? Ever. Ever. So she laid down on the massage table. At this point, we decided to remove the bikini so that I could get a good massage going because the straps on those bikinis. It's all about the professional. Oh, absolutely. The straps on those bikinis just totally get in the road in the middle of the massage, just out of control. So the unicorns were... They were massaging each other on the other table. Yeah, which was kind of sexy. Probably drawing a bit of a crowd from the spa with some eyes, certainly some interest.

Whilst we were massaging, there were quite a few people wandering on through in and out of the hot tub area. Which I didn't know. Which is kind of an... It's actually an outdoor area with a – I shouldn't say outdoor. It does have walls around it, but they're not in any – they're clear walls, I suppose, during the day would be the best way to put it. Probably not the best way by the frowny face I'm receiving from Sierra. I don't know about the walls. They're painted. They're purple – maroon. Okay. Well, we'll check it out.

I'll check it out better next time around and we'll give you a little time. Then we've got to go back and visit again. Darn. We're going back to see what the walls are around the hot tub. That's why we're going back there. I was massaging away for a while. I think it was probably maybe 10, 15 minutes and then. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to even say like 20. Yeah. I was face down, loving it. Yeah. Did we turn you over? Yeah, we did. We turned over.

Because one of the things we've noticed in Sydney is when C goes for a massage or when we both go for a massage, it's very difficult to get anyone to massage the front of the body. Well, no, and my butt. Nobody touches my butt or my tits. Well, you're talking about your pecs. You don't necessarily want them touching your tits. Yes, I do. It feels nice. See, now we're talking Thailand rather than Australia. Okay, so we tank over and eye massage her front and nothing too perverse here. I think there was a couple of stray grasps or sly strokes of the lower portion of the body.

I do remember having some massage oil that was... Warming. I mean, yeah. So we moved on from there. We actually went for a quick shower. Now, the shower we chose is actually inside the private room because C didn't like the idea of showering effectively in public, possibly because of where some of the massage oil had made it to by this point. It's very tough to look sexy whilst cleaning massage oil out of your butt, correct? That's true. Yeah. So in we went. We had a quick shower in there.

And while we're in the shower the shower of course we may have gotten a little bit frisky frisky hot hot and heavy-handed and then um i mean you were like a stallion at this point there was nothing keeping that bad boy down no there really wasn't nothing two two naked girls massaging each other on the other table you're massaging a naked woman there's naked people in the spa yeah by this point it was um it was pretty tough to push me away i would imagine for you although can i say you didn't seem to be entirely um upset i was quite i was quite turned on at this point i remember that being being very very interested and as we were in a private room we just shifted straight into the into the bed in the private room which again in in all of these all the clubs we've been to you know there's well actually no you take that back all the Australian clubs we've been to there's uh condoms and dental dams and lubrication and all sorts of things in in every location um actually it wasn't this event but it is a very funny story.

We had somebody come in and do a lubricant top-up whilst we were amid some sexual endeavours in this club. You will get to that in a couple of podcasts. I get something to mention as well. A lot of people do get a little bit concerned about the cleanliness of some of these clubs. And honestly, this particular club, they're very… Oh, it's spotless. It's spotless. Every time we go there. You know, you'll constantly see people shifting around, refilling condoms, refilling lubrication. Cleaning. Cleaning sheets off. Cleaning sheets, you know, pillowcases, the whole thing.

Yeah, so it's… And that's kind of important for us as well. Kind of. Kind of. Should be totally important for everyone. Hugely important. Yeah. So, yeah, so we climbed on into the bed. The door's closed at this point, and I think I've mentioned previously, if a door's closed, the rule is it won't be opened if a door's closed. If a door's open, then that means people are happy for you to at least come in and watch and ask the question as to whether you can join. Participation can be, yeah.

So I think given the fact that C was a little bit frisky at this point, she threw me down and ended up starting by riding me. Absolutely. Yeah, which was a horrible place to be for me. And whilst we were, I mean, this went on for a little while.

I'm not going to say it was hours because i was fairly horny so now there was legs everywhere i mean i think you were flipping me over and yeah yeah so well i think we left leg over that side of the bed and right leg over that dog we we covered some some fairly textbook textbook yeah textbook that's a good way to put it actually it, it's like porn textbook moves. It's just your standard kind of toolkit textbook. Sexual position. Repertoire. Repertoire, yeah.

So this happened for a little while, and this is probably a good time, I suppose, to talk to some of, I suppose, C's concerns going into this. Now, I've never had a concern in my life about getting or sustaining an erection. Yeah.

But we'll cover this in its its own podcast moving forward but we'll talk about some of c's um concerns here something that i mentioned to d a few times you know before going into these clubs and certainly during was that i had concerns about the ability to orgasm with such a high uh intense you know situation that you're in um particularly particularly, I mean, more so when I'm thinking about for the first time people watching me or other people touching me or these kinds of things, you know, even if it was just D&I with the door open, for example, or with a couple near us or people looking, I thought, am I actually going to be so distracted and so, I guess, have such performance anxiety that I actually won't be able to orgasm?

Or get wet or... Yeah. And the other thing, at the other end of the spectrum of that, you see, is the wearing out. Yeah, that's exactly right. So I think that, you know, every woman's different, but certainly I'm not an all-nighter. I'm going to admit that straight up. I can't perform for hours and hours on end with multiple partners. It's just not going to happen for me. Thank you. So why would you continue doing something that becomes painful? However, something we have learned is that condoms really help with that. They do. Yeah.

So we typically, if we are in a club or any form of event now, I'll use a condom as well because it adds to potentially cease night. Actually, and I think that's just generally probably polite as well. Wouldn't you agree? Yeah. Look, I think so. I think sexual health is very important to us, as it is to most people in this lifestyle. So there's a lot of things to keep in mind in terms of even condom usage because you can't switch partners with the same condom. So there's a lot to keep in mind.

It's really just, I'll say common sense, but unfortunately common sense isn't as common as people might lead you to believe. I'd probably say it's being more aware of it because, I mean, you've got to think we've been together now for six and a half years. We haven't used condoms for probably six and a half years. Yeah, that's right. So it's probably something that you just become more aware of. And I guess, you know, after – so we're doing this for a little while, having a bit of fun. We decided to finish up back into the showers again, you know. Not sure we decided to finish up. Yeah.

Sometimes that just happens. Okay. Yeah. So head back into the showers again. This is like the fourth time we shower for the evening, including getting ready. Yeah. Quite clean. And head back downstairs. Yeah.

And we went downstairs and you actually slipped back into your um the dress that you're wearing um which was a bandage just a bandage dress yeah and coincidentally was the same bandage dress that you wore to the other event that we've just podcasted about as well purely coincidentally but although it is a spectacular uh dress i do like it a hell of a lot so he gets dressed i actually throw on a shirt my jeans as well because it's kind of confronting to be sitting in an open area without a shirt on even for me i suppose even though for newbies night downstairs to be kind of half undressed might freak some other people out that are just coming in for the first time ever so you know i think we're a little bit mindful of that as well considering we we're only one past Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

undressed might freak some other people out that are just coming in for the first time ever so you know i think we're a little bit mindful of that as well considering we we're only one past you oh i'm you know the unicorns weren't so well they weren't as reserved no no absolutely not they were i mean they were in yes actually no bra just knickers just knickers all basically all night and a towel maybe some of the time yeah yeah when they were wet so that so they're downstairs there's i think one other couple down there as well um yes i think the american couple was still there okay yeah and then um see as she does uh decided that the the pole might be a little bit of fun and one of the unicorns was interested in this is a really funny one actually because by this time i mean i'm yes I'm interested in the pole you know but also it's it was a little bit awkward to start on I think I'm I'm much more confident now and I'll just go up to the pole and just start dancing and you didn't have anything on under the dress either did you no from memory no so I don't wear yeah so you were concerned that you may open leg flash the crowd and it wasn't even that I think also for me at this point in time I mean I don't want to be certainly seen as somebody who's just gonna I don't know show off or be arrogant or anything like that so I mean I remember having a conversation with the unicorn just on having taken some classes in the past just purely for a bit of fun and she'd done the same and so we had this kind of like awkward oh move by move let's try to remember what we know and jump on the pole and kind of give it a go whereas as i said now you know i'll just you'll have a crack i don't care i'll just jump on and yes i'm having some fun and that's what i'm that's all i care about so there's a funny story here as well i suppose with sea on the pole do you want to cover this one off or should I?

Yeah, no, I'll do it. I'll do it. I think. I'll give you my perception. Yeah, go on. Actually, that would be fun. No, afterward. You go yours first. That would be actually quite funny. Yeah, so funny, terrifying, you know, just embarrassing moment that I had on the pole. So I'm starting to get a bit cocky with this unicorn. We're sort of saying, oh, you know, I can do this.

I can do yeah i can i can go upside down i can totally do that i mean it's been three and a half years but you know it's like riding a bike easy stuff's easy so i climb up on the pole um let's just say there may have been one or two beverages involved in this by then yeah as well i i think you know so we were probably finishing up our second bottle of wine actually i think so think. So I come up on the pole and I go into, you know, an invert. So upside down on the pole. And basically you would normally put your hands down almost in a handstand position and do a bit of a sexy move. Flip over.

Yeah. So this happened. Lost control of my grip with my inner thighs. No traction. No traction. It down basically so slip down hands as well kind of didn't hit the ground as quickly as they should have and instead what happened was my head hit the ground yeah and landed where on your noggin landed on my head so that happened um i tried to do a recovery um tried to quickly kind of get up and the owners of the club, the host actually came out from the Bay Area, obviously hearing me fall was quite a concern for the owners of the club. So they came out and did it, like, are you okay?

And I was like, yes, just stop checking on me. Please just go away. Let's all just pretend it never happened.

And I got back up on the pole and did another move and you know tried to just pretend like it was not happening So now I'll throw my perspective into the mix here, it was one of those oh my god sexy splat moments so she ended up as she said her head hit the ground floor thankfully it's a floating wooden floor underneath the pole so there was a the only thing that was crushed was my spirit yeah although you were wearing a very big necklace at the time a very big chain gold chain necklace and that's what made the noise is because when your head hit the ground um after that the chain hit the ground yeah on the floor and that made an immense noise it was funny terrifying i suppose is the best way to put it absolutely so the unicorn and i mucking around for a little bit longer maybe another 10 minutes um again i didn't want to just kind of stop and sit back on the couch.

You know, my pride was, I was swallowing my pride there, absolutely. So we basically play around for a little bit together and then, you know, sit back down and have some drinks and some chat. Yeah, and look, drinks and chat was actually where we finished with the evening. We didn't, nothing else happened from there and in terms of play or even solo play. So there was one further thing because remember I had the American girl beside me and there was a bit of a, there was a small moment for you as well. Oh, she was very interested in you actually. And I'm so naive sometimes.

I don't see when people are actually showing sexual interest as quickly as what you do. You know, I'm kind of by the age ball.

no no no we need to we need to actually clarify that you're totally clueless when people when people are interested in in you or i at the point where somebody you know will start trying to kiss me and i'm like whoa when did this escalate and then d will be sitting there and just go like this is you know they've they've been kind of hitting on you for 20 minutes now 20 minutes two hours i mean sometimes it's it's i'm pushing at c's shoulder going you know he's interested in you right and you're like are you serious yeah i didn't get that at all really i thought we're just talking about walking along the beach yeah yeah we're just we were just talking about you know sex for the last two hours he's really.

Or she's really interested in me. Yeah, so it took me a little bit of time to figure this out as well, to the point where she was, like, leaning in and started trying to caress your leg before I realised. Caress? I like that word. That's not the word. She was touching my leg. She was all over you, Johnson. Just admit it. No, no, she didn't.

She just basically had a little touch of Dee's leg and um again you know i was kind of in this moment of like whoa that was not i did not expect that at all and at this point we hadn't actually touched another couple we had sorry we had in the first but not at this particular event and not since the the not since the freakout yeah and so i really wasn't too sure how how we would react or how I would react. But, yeah, I mean, she was very attractive. They were also not newbies. No. And I had a bit of a moment of like, oh, my God, is she actually going to try and have sex with you?

They actually had kids and they were travelling with their kids and they'd left their kids at the hotel. The kids were a reasonable age, so please understand they're not locked in. Terrible parents, no. They're not locked in the car outside. They're teenagers in Sydney City in a hotel, I'm sure they were pretty stoked about it. Yeah, so they'd left them there, but they were looking to play, no doubt about that. Yeah.

And in fact, we were just talking about walking out and we weren't far away from walking out here and when we did walk out, we actually realised was another room that we missed which was the i covered a little earlier the upstairs group play room we were sort of committed to heading out at this point so we got out all our stuff together and we're ready to leave and i heard the group playroom and the american accent is somewhat distinctive is that a good way to put it yeah absolutely somewhat distinctive so even amidst groaning and moaning the american accent still stands out pretty well so um they were obviously well hopefully they were they were having some fun getting their fill upstairs sure sounded like it it did sure sound like it yeah yeah so we head home in the cab and a couple of weeks go by probably two weeks actually and we to think, you know, okay, maybe we'll go back, maybe we'll head back to the club and see if we can perhaps get some, you know, go a little bit further, see what our comfort zone's like, see if we find some couples sexy.

And in amongst that too, I was then, you know, back on Google, having a look at the clubs here in Sydney to see if there was kind of any other options just to make sure that we had sought out I guess some of the some of the good spots and in my doing that stumbled upon some events and some reviews on a website actually called Red Hot Pie. And now keep in perspective the reason I think Steve found this is the club that we went to which I don't know whether we've mentioned it is called Our Secret Spot. Great club here in Sydney.

We really enjoy we we um we really enjoy going there because as we said it's new it's kind of funky it's very clean very clean um that the we've now met the owners personally as well they're good guys all good guy and girls so the website was um coming up there but also coming up through some searches in this red hot pie so they had events listed as well as some reviews and some forum posts actually was I think what drew my attention to it. There was a forum post on the club itself.

And so starting to look around Red Hot Pie, I noticed there's a lot of couples and Red Hot Pie, for those of you who don't know, have a look, but basically it's a almost a dating website. It can be singles, but couples as well.

And you'll find a lot of people will go in there and set up a dual profile so I started sort of seeking looking around by dual you mean couples couples profiles yeah and I remember it actually it was a Friday night I was sitting I think we're watching a movie I was mucking around on a laptop and I thought this this looks really cool what's this all about it was you know an hour in of reading forum posts and looking at other people's profiles and just basically I just went on and set us up. Yeah.

Well, keep in mind here, a lot of the profiles or the images are generally locked out when you're a guest as well. Yeah, there's different levels. As with any kind of website like that, there's different levels of membership.

But I jumped on, set us up as a guest and uploaded uploaded a couple of photos and description you know what who we were you know i'm a e cup and i'm a size eight and d's 185 centimeters and he enjoys long walks on the beach and horse riding i'm just joking so i set us up and start looking around at some of the profiles and again but more actually i think i searched who was in our local area actually and that was when i really that was probably the first time that hit home for me that there's a lot of people in the lifestyle yeah and you know what i just realized sorry just stepping back a little bit just realized you said you're a size eight now i want to put this in perspective here this is is an Australian size eight, which is the equivalent to an American size two, I think.

So, yeah. And European is a size six. You're protecting people thinking I'm sexy. Go, you are. Well, you are sexy. You're totally sexy. One of the joyous things for me about walking into any event with C on my arm is that I'm an immediate superstar and I've never felt like that any other time in my life. Oh, you can hold your own, sweetie. Nothing like, my God. But that's, again, because of the immediacy of my superstardom when I walk in with you on my arm. Oh, anyway, so looking through and it hit home. It hit home for me.

I went, there's actually, for there's there's young and sexy couples just like us in the lifestyle um and the mixture did you just call me sexy yeah oh nice that just happened oh sorry guys we're having a moment and i was thinking wow this is really interesting and some of the profiles are really well done you know we're professionals we're been together for x number of years or months whatever the case may be and just looking to have a bit of fun and I started looking for people that were specifically newbies um at this point just to kind of I guess see where they were at where some people were going yeah we're newbies but hey you know fucking balls I love them bring them at me um and then love a ball on my chin love a ball on my chin.

But then Dee had the great idea of also trying to find, you know, what you call a Yoda couple. Yeah, yeah, because one of the things through this process is it would have been really nice to have some guidance. Now, I sort of offset our lack of Yoda couple by listening to a lot of podcasts. Shout out to the Curious couple for the Curious ear. Really, those guys have really helped us a lot, well, certainly helped me along the way.

See, there's only a few casts in for those guys, but I've listened to them all the way up to date and they're actually about to be up for an award for their podcast and I believe they truly deserve it. And guys, if you're ever down in Australia, happy for you to look us up. After all I've heard about your exploits, sorry, TNA, I'd be happy to have a chat at the very least and share a glass of wine. Yeah, I think you're wearing them a drink probably at this stage. I probably do, yeah. Setting up the profile, Dee was like, what? You're just putting us in there.

I remember you having that conversation with me. Yeah, I was a bit surprised because at this point, C was sort of still on the boundaries and cusp of, you know, is this something I want to be fully involved in? Actually, I remember the conversation of let's not let this take over our life. You know, it's not a lifestyle. It's just something we do every now and again. That went out the window because after that, our HP became addictive. Yeah. Just looking at people and realising.

Well, actually, when we first put ourselves up there, you said, because you've got levels of attractiveness that you put yourself up as unattractive, average, attractive, very attractive, and I put myself an average because, you know, I'm an average guy.

I'll say this, I'm no superstar, but as C says, I can hold own but uh and i put myself as attractive yeah but after about and but i just wanted to just say when i saw that very attractive and you select this yourself i've had a moment of thinking you arrogant arrogant person yeah i agree but we've uh so we've since upgraded ourselves to attractive and very attractive mainly because some of the other people we saw in the attractive boat who were, certainly for us, were not at all attractive. Not at all, but just probably. No, not at all. Okay. I'm going with not at all.

You're being a bit, you're just, that's, you're done with that. I'm being a bit of a bitch. I'm being, okay, well, I'm being a bitch, but that's the case. Okay, right. So when we first set the profile up, we were, as I said, a little bit addictive, addicted rather, and started to basically just look at heaps profiles, but just also start trying to, you know, chat to basically anyone and everyone.

So, you know, anyone who, and again, it of comes from us trying wanting to ask a lot of questions so we went through this time there where there's so many ebbs and flows to our to our rhp experience so red hot by rhp yes i mean what well we started off with oh my god everybody's awesome yeah everybody's so sexy i mean look at that oh my god oh my god you contact them flirt there's a flirt so there's a flirt button which allows you to send just a i suppose a cheeky message or a one-liner which is intended to initiate some form of interaction and then of course you can send an email but at this point, we're guests.

We still don't have the ability to send. We can send emails, I think. And you can reply. Yeah, you can reply. Anyway, regardless. Yes, you can reply to emails. That's right. But somebody who's actually a paying member has to start the email. Yeah. But at this point,'re like floating with all these people and copying emails and, yeah, having a lot of fun. But then we quickly realised that some of the people that we were talking to and certainly some of the non-validated members may not have been as accurately presented on the site as possibly they could have been.

And actually I think we'll probably go into a fair bit of detail DR MELLIFONT. may not have been as accurately presented on the site as possibly they could have been. And actually, I think we'll probably go into a fair bit of detail because later in we actually meet up with a couple of couples now on this particular site. So we'll probably cover off on, I think, that in a little bit more detail. So that's to come probably in the next podcast, actually.

But just, I guess, to close off on Red Hot Pie, it's really, really changed our way into the lifestyle, lifestyle i think we've had a lot of fun on there so if you have any of those kinds of sites as well in your city i would recommend and they're very localized these um and this is certainly something that curious couple has mentioned as well even in their area in the u.s very localized sites you have to find the site that people use locally.

Now, certainly we stumbled across ours, but you can quite easily, you know, if you're at an event or a club or something like that, or even really want to just ring one of the owners of a local club and ask them where or what the site is that the locals would use, that's the way to go because, you know, there's a whole heap of sites.ia even in sydney you know our population is quite small by comparison to european and u.s cities but we have multiple sites here in sydney and some of them are really crap and some of them are full of false profiles and it really pays to to figure out which is the one that you should use locally.

Yeah, and what everyone else is using. But wealth of information aside from stalking people and getting a cheeky look at people's photos and things like that. As I said, there's forum posts, there's conversations happening, there's events up. Guys, cock shots. No. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of cock shots. Cock shots belong in private galleries, as do. I think I'll use a line out of one of the profiles. I'm going to do it. I'll use a line out of one of the profiles I'm going to do.

We'll use a line out of one of the profiles that we read is that if you've got a photo of your beaten butthole and vagina as your profile shot, then we're not interested in talking to you. Now, that's not, I mean, we're not necessarily as hard and fast as that, but, you know, there's got to be a little bit of decorum here, people. Let's keep the nice, sexy, classy shots as your profile shots and your open profile shots. And then, you know, if somebody's more interested in you, then, you know, they're going to want to see a bit more of your anatomy. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Look, I think that's probably it for this podcast. Yeah, we'll finish it up here. Again, it's been good talking to you guys and hopefully you find our exploits interesting. We've now got our Twitter site and Facebook site, so we'd be really keen to hear on anyone who's listening to us. I think we've got a population of podcast downloads of about three at the moment. So thank you, those guys. There's three people out there by accident that maybe downloaded us. So head over and Swinging Down Under on Facebook and Twitter.

So happy to hear from anyone out there in the lifestyle or anyone who's been listening to us. Questions, queries, lovely to talk to you again. That's a C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under.