Sexual Wellness, Performance Anxiety & Pleasure Products for Better Sex in the Swinger Lifestyle (Promescent CEO)

Transcript

Speaker1: You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy. Now let's get into the episode. G'day everyone and welcome to an episode all about sexual pleasure products. Now today I am talking to Jeff, the CEO and co-founder of a company called Promescent and you might already know them as the delay spray guys, which fair, that is what they're famous for. But here's the thing, Promescent is a actually doing a whole lot more. Jeff and I get into all of that in the interview, the delay products, the science, the story behind the brand. But before we get there, I want to actually share my own completely unfiltered thoughts on some of the products that I've been testing. Because in the lead up to this interview, Daryl and I have been, let's just say, doing the hard yards for you guys. Yes, we took one for the team and started to test some of the Promescent products. Let's just say there has been a noticeable increase in both masturbation and sex in this household in the name of research over the last seven days. We are no bullshit on this podcast. So if something's great, I'm going to say it. If it's crap, I'm going to say it. And if it's just meh, I'm probably going to say that too. So here's what I've tried so far from the Promescent pleasure product rank. Now Promescent do two arousal gels catered to women. And the two arousal gels out of the two, my favorite was definitely the warming gel. Within a few minutes, I could feel a shift. My clit definitely had RSVP to the party and actually shown up because as you guys know, clits are impossible to find. I left it on for about 10 minutes before using my vibrator and I could definitely tell the blood flow was blood flowing. Things were definitely more sensitive. So after that masturbation session and the next day, I actually tried the buzzing gel. That one didn't hit me quite hard for me personally. So I definitely preferred the warming one. Now this particular product packaging is tiny, so it can easily fit on your hoe-on-the-go bag and you only need the tiniest amount. It's like a pea-sized amount per session. We did talk in the episode how you can apply it over multiple hours and kind of re-up. So that's a little funny story for later. That one is just less than $20 without any discount. So honestly, it's pretty accessible for people. And as I said, it's small enough to fit on the go bag. In swinging circumstances, I was thinking when I might use this. And a great use for this product, I think, would be to put it on as you're gearing up for the evening. So as you're sort of getting ready and you're about to go out at 9, 9.30, dance for a little while. I actually think this would be a fun product to use to start to kind of get that headspace going, right? because if I'm now all of a sudden aware of my clit, it kind of puts me into that sexier headspace at a swingers event. And a lot of people ask us how to get into that sexy frame, and I think this would definitely be one of the ways. So I will also, again, take one for the team, and I will try that at the next swingers club that I visit. Now, the before and after wipes is one product I actually didn't need to test because I have been using them for years. So I started using the before and after sex wipes back in 2019 when we lived in Singapore, and it has become an actual staple in my hole-in-the-go bag. Now, if you've been listening for a while, you may know that I do like to freshen up before and after play. So these are super perfect for that. They're very small. They fit on the go bag. Now, these guys are about 15 bucks for around 40 wipes. So I genuinely recommend every single swinger and slutty little adventurer should have them in their bags. Five stars. No notes on that. I've been using them for years. They're just a good product. Now, Daryl and I have been using Uber Lube for years. I'm still a fan. I'm absolutely not going to stop using Uber Lube. But as you know, to wash off. I continually make jokes that somebody needs to come up with a product that's like a wash off and they make millions of dollars. They can not be great for silicon toys and not always condom friendly. So we did test out the Promescence Aloe Lube, which is pH balanced. It's very important for me. And honestly, I was pretty pleasantly surprised. I used it solo for masturbation. Again, you know, I'm doing the hard yards for you guys. And then I used it with Daryl. So both times it definitely lasted long enough that I didn't feel the need to reapply. And to be honest, the real win here is that it didn't give you UTIs. Which, if you have a sensitive kitty like mine, you know, is basically the Olympic standard of lube success. Now, Promescent have a really interesting new product. It's called the Go Solo product. And it's marketed as a solo product for men. But I used it to give Daryl a ligum massage because Daryl and I do love a bit of solo as well as mutual masturbation around this house. And I want to share something really funny. I've been using Oobloo for handjobs for Daryl for quite a while, about a year or so, maybe two years. A couple of years ago, we were somewhere. I have no idea where we were. That concept is completely foreign. But what I do remember was the realisation that Daryl said I was shit at handjobs. He basically told me that I was not very good at handjobs. And this came after I was actually telling somebody around a circle of people that I was actually really good at handjobs. And he laughed and he's like, no. The circle was having this conversation about how women just generally aren't very good at handjobs. And I was like, excuse me, I'm actually quite good. And the realisation was like, no, I was adequate. So Daryl and I had a conversation. We started using, again, Oopalube for that. Normally I do have to reapply kind of mid-stroke. So we started testing this Go Solo product. Again, it's kind of meant for men to use, as the name would suggest, Solo, but I like giving a little massage. What I did find definitely is that this product for masturbation using on Daryl is way better than using the Oopalube for it. Because again, normally I do have to reapply that mid-stroke. This one I didn't need to. Daryl liked the consistency and again, clean up wasn't in So yes, my ego was adjusted accordingly. And yes, I have been using various lubes on taro for the last couple of years since I found out that my handjobs were not the best. If you want to be humbled, ladies, go and ask your partner how you are with handjobs. I'd be very curious to hear all your stories. And if you, like me, had this realization that you're actually quite, let's just say, less than adequate. So we do have a 15% discount for you guys. If you're interested in checking out any of the pleasure products that I just spoke about or what Jeff and I talk about today, head over to their website promescent.com and you can use code WANDERLAST26 or just check out the show notes and click the link. Before we get into our interview with Jeff, I really want to share a fun voice note that I received. So we have some amazing listeners and some of them also came to our event in Cupdag last year and we've been talking for a number of years and finally got to meet up. When I mentioned that I was interviewing the owner of Promescent, he actually sent me a voice note. He was very excited because he has been using Promescent products actually for years. So I'm going to play the voice note. It's no bullshit review from a couple who have been very active in the lifestyle. And yes, I did just call you sluts. And I say that very lovingly. So I'm going to play that voice note now, and then we're going to roll straight into my interview with Jeff. I hope you find this episode interesting. It is all about pleasure products. We talk a lot about premature ejaculation in the show, as well as a number of other things. We talk about the history behind the company Promescent, why they do what they do. And honestly, it is a really insightful episode into how some of these companies companies operate in the sexual wellness space. And I've got to say, not all of them are ethical and not all of them are good companies. That's just life. And what I found with my time with Jeff back in 2019 and again on this episode, I truly believe these guys are great. So if you are in the market for sexual wellness products, already using them or interested in trying something, I highly, highly recommend giving present a go. They just seem like good humans. All right, enough from me. Let's hear from my slutty friends and then get straight into the episode with Jeff. Hey guys, hope you're doing well. I just wanted to leave a quick note when I heard the great news of your partnership with Promescent. First of all, they are an incredibly quality brand we've been using for a couple of years. And I know your clients and your friends are going to love them. Some of the products that we've used that we loved, the Vitaflux product for both men and women, it's just incredible. You know, with that, it just, it gives you energy, quick recovery. drives libido. The testosterone booster is fantastic. We absolutely love the wipes. There's a Feel Fresher wipe that you can use before and after play. It's pH balanced. It's got aloe vera. It's just incredible. I know there's a delay spray on wipe that we have. To be honest, we haven't even used them yet, but I can't wait to try those. And then another fantastic product is the Buzz. Just a little tiny drop on the clit, and it's like a built-in vibrator. It's fantastic for foreplay. There's tons of generic products out there, and we feel comfortable using Promescent because they're all medically approved, high quality, love the shipping. We live in a very remote place in the world, and to have the products shipped to us is incredible. So once again, your groups will love them, and I hope to see you guys soon. Take care. I'm now joined by Jeff Abraham, the CEO of Promesin, an engineered sexual wellness entrepreneur. We'll get into that. Who's been at the center of one of the most fascinating sexual health product stories in the last decade, including clinical trials, lawsuits, pharma giants, and turning down a $30 million acquisition because he believed that this should be a a lifestyle product and not a prescription drug. I'm very excited to welcome you back to the show. We're glad to have you back. Thank you so much, Jeff. It's a pleasure to be here. It's been a few years, but I do know that you recently had a little grandbaby, and I understand that you are absolutely over the moon with this little bundle of joy, so I did want to say congratulations. I had friends tell me that you will love your grandchildren more than your children, and I was a single dad, and I raised my son by myself, and I adore him. I said, that's impossible. Now, I told him he's got some serious competition now. He's still 1, she's 1A. But it's a more intense experience because you get to watch your child become a parent. Before we get into sexual wellness in general, Jeff, I'm curious, what is the weirdest misconception that you think people have about sexual wellness products in general? That using a sexual wellness product means that you're deficient. Or using a sexual wellness product means that you don't have the means or the ability to satisfy your partner. there can be nothing further from the truth as a matter of fact i'll go as far to tell you that some of the best lovers in the world use sexual wellness products for example johnny sins abn's male porn star of the year in 2021 and 2022 uses our products and he extols them in his video and my experience it just kind of blows me away people go what do you do for a living i bring it up they'll go oh that's the last thing i need you know what i mean like oh excuse me mr porn star okay it's one One of those situations that if someone said to Rory McIlroy or Tiger Woods, you do average 22 putts, they're the best golfers in the world. Would you want to average 21.7? You know that just to take it. Absolutely. If someone said to the best basketball player in the world, would you like to shoot at a higher level? Absolutely. It doesn't mean that you're deficient in any particular area. It means that you are really trying to push boundaries and satisfy your partner and give them the best experience possible. them. That's how I look at it. My goal has always been to have my partner have as many and as intense orgasms as possible. Yeah, you're not wrong there about the stigma. It's really something that I haven't put that much thought into, but we see a lot with women in particular and say lube just to baseline it, or she should be wet enough, or if she's reaching for the lube, you're not doing the good job, or I'm going to make you so wet you won't know what to do with yourself. And it's like, well, sometimes I like using lube. So regardless of what you believe your abilities to be about, it's actually a nice enhancement to me. I agree 100% and I'll give you a little personal antidote that will shed light on it. We have a product specifically designed. It's called VitaFlux. It's a supplement and it gives better erectile function. It lowers body fat, increases muscle tissue. It's got a lot of non-sexual. But one of the benefits is that for women who are post-menopausal or as they begin to age, they lose the ability to naturally moisturize. And I work with urologists all day. We have a product specifically addressed as that. So I'm very well aware of that. Okay. I know that at a certain age, it has nothing to do with desire, that women lose the ability to naturally moisturize. It's biological, okay? It's physiological. So I was dating a gal who was in her late 40s. This was four years ago. And she had never had a problem with lubrication. And she started to have a little bit of vaginal dryness because she was going through the change. You know, even me, we sell a product specifically for that. We have hundreds of women that use that product specifically for that. That is how intrusive that thought is and how ingrained it is in people. And I thought to myself, I'm going to go in front of the mirror and slap the shit out of myself. You know what I mean? For me, even in my position, knowing what was transpiring, still going, oh, my God, she's not turned on. Am I doing something wrong? And I was like, oh, my God. So the average person that isn't aware of that, of course, would be totally going, oh, my is not turned on. Yep. Yep. So there's nothing a woman should ever feel self-conscious about. There's nothing a man should ever feel like he's not doing his job. Yeah. And I think all of these things that we're going to talk about today, we take the average person who's perhaps in one relationship, monogamous, and then we heighten it into people that are non-monogamous and going to a swingers club, going to a swingers event. I'm not just trying to please one person. I'm trying to please multiple people. There is a level of stress involved in that. How old is Promescent now, Jeff? 14. There you go. So you've been working on this for 14 years. And then we're going to talk a little bit about and we're going to specifically relate it to the swingers lifestyle. But you as a person, you are an interesting gentleman. You started as an engineer. How did you end up in sexual wellness? I had very good success. I started my own company. It was a semiconductor engineering recruiting business. And I had success beyond my wildest dreams. And at 53 years old, 15 years ago, decided I was going to retire. And then I retired. And it was right around the time that My son, who's 37 now, was at college. So I went from being a single dad, starting a company. And at one point, we had up to 400 employees between all the temps and regular people we had. And so he goes off to college. I retire. And I realized it wasn't that interesting. Okay, what do you do for 24 hours a day when you retire that early, especially when all your friends are still working? Dr. Ronald Gilbert, who happened to be a good friend, a neighborhood friend, and also my doctor. I was in for my yearly physical, my yearly PSA. And hey, I have this new product. I know your story. because I grew up definitely lower middle class and came from nothing and you had good success and he goes I know your story you made yourself successful I have this new product can you help me out and one thing led to another and I invested in the company unfortunately it's a tragic story he ended up being murdered in a case of mistaken identity and I ended up taking the company over and running it and so I tell people it might be the most circuitous route anyone has ever taken in business becoming a semiconductor engineering CEO to becoming a sexual on the CEO. But I also tell people that my philosophy has not changed. It's hard work. It's ethical behavior. It's treating people how you want to be treated from a work standpoint, from a business standpoint. And really and truly, it's motivating your employees. They know that you're fair, that you compensate well, but demanding excellence. And I also try to promote an atmosphere where it's enjoyable. We have fun. But when it's time to perform, it's not fun time, it's go time. So we try to strike that balance between having a sense of humor, enjoying life, but really when the lights, camera, action, come on, perform. You mentioned the ethical and Dr. Gilbert, and I do want to take a moment to say rest in peace to Dr. Gilbert, and I know that was a big part of your decision to step into the CEO role and your decision to keep moving forward with Dr. Gilbert's legacy, and I've read a lot about that particular unfortunate situation. And I just want to say that I think it's wonderful, your desire to continue his legacy for him and his family. I really appreciate that because when it first happened, it was fresh on everybody's mind. But now, believe it or not, we're coming up on, well, we just passed the 13-year anniversary of him being gone. And it was 2013. It was in January, believe it or not. So exactly 13 years ago. One of the proudest moments I've had so far is every quarter, I get to hand his family a big dividend check. And I really appreciate you bringing that up today as well. I almost left after he passed away because it was like I was doing this for him. He was my friend. He was so happy. But then I thought to myself, I can't bring him back. I can't unring that bell. OK, that's out of my control. What is in my control? There's two things in my control. Number one, to give him a legacy, make this company very successful so he'll be remembered. And I bring him up on every podcast. In this case, I didn't have to. You did, which is really appreciated. And number two, for his family, because they have enough baggage to carry through life right now. And I thought to myself, my goal is to keep his memory alive and give him a legacy and provide for his family. And fortunately, I'm able to do both of those. So I'm really very happy. Yeah, it's a great success story. And I guess on that, you famously turned down a 30 plus million dollar offer. Yes. Because again, you said you didn't want, and I quote, this to become prescription only. You said this should be next. to condoms at Walgreens and 7-Eleven. Why did you turn it down? What was so important for you to make that stand, I guess, against Big Pharma? It was a Big Pharma company, and their goal, believe it or not, was to turn it into an RX product so they could have more control, raise the price, you know, that kind of thing, and it'd be covered by insurance. That wasn't Ron's goal, okay? Ron had been assassinated right during the talks we first started talking to those people. And then it became obvious what they were planning on doing with it. I was like, that's not what this was intended for. And like I said, we still run this company every single day in Ron's memory. And he was patient focused. He was focused on getting this out to the masses. And I will tell you that 75% of the people that use our product, I'm talking singularly about our signature, our hero product, our delay spray. 75% of people that use those don't have what would be a clinical diagnosis. They don't have hardcore PE. They're recreational. And I think we talked about this on my earlier appearance on your show, that the average man lasts five minutes and 42 seconds during penetration and thrusting. This is someone without PE, okay? The average woman takes 18 minutes of penetration or thrusting to achieve climax. So it's called the arousal gap. There's an actual term for it that clinicians, whether they be urologists or therapists, are very well aware of. So this is something that even people that aren't in the realm of sexual dysfunction, or PE or anything else get benefit from. So if you take this and you raise the price and you make it something that's a prescription, then without going to a doctor, you shut off anyone's ability to get this. There's also a lot of shame involved. A lot of people feel uncomfortable going, talking to a doctor about it. So I really like the idea that people can do their research, find something they want, then either get it shipped to their home, whether it be our website or Amazon or eBay or whatever, or go to their local store and pick it up. and then just put it on the nightstand. Before we got on this show, we started talking about the success of Framesin and kind of what's been happening, catching up with you since you and I chatted last and I was living in Singapore. And what I love about this quote in particular, you said that it should be next to condoms and stuff at Walgreens and you are now in Walgreens. This must feel beautiful. We touched on this up until two and a half years ago. We were only in Target. Then we got in a thousand stores at Walgreens. Then we got into all 4,500 Walgreens. 5,500. We thought, oh my God, that's great. Then we got in CVS. Then we got in Meyer. Then we got in Wegmans. Then we got into HEB. Now to 20,000 retail locations. And that's exactly where we are. We talked about that. I visualized it and it came true. You go to condoms, then you see lubes, then you see promescent delay spray, and it's right there. But in 2016, we got in Target. And I just happened to be in Huntington Beach. I walked into Target on Brookhurst and Adams in Huntington Beach. And I walked down there and I saw on the shelf. Wow. In the lube and condom section. And I started to choke up. I started to get emotional. And out loud, don't ask me why, I said, I told you. I took a point. I said, I told you we would be in here. And I guarantee you there was someone that went home that night and said, there was some crazy guy in Target today. Yelling at the condoms. You know what I mean? He was saying, I told you, but there was no one else there. But that meant something to me. Yeah, absolutely. I had promised him. I had told him, I will get us in there. And getting us in there meant something to me. It really and truly was a promise kept. Absolutely. And I don't know many people that would have seen the forest for the trees to turn down that offer and get where you are today. So that is amazing. And I guess that does move us into the why. You mentioned the hero product, the main product, the delay product. So what we know, of course, is that sexual dysfunction isn't rare and it's also not gender based. However, when it comes to premature ejaculation, as you said, it is one of the most common male sexual concerns. that they raise and it does affect some 20 to 30 percent of men at some point in their life. Talking about that, how much of sexual satisfaction do you understand it to be more physical or psychological? Of the P.E. that exists, the clinical P.E. that exists. I'm talking about some of this hardcore P.E. which is defined by the medical community of never lasting more than 90 seconds. About 20 to 25 percent of that is psychological in origin. A lot of it comes maybe from a time of a young boy's sexual It's like, oh, I gotta hurry up and get this over with before someone walks in. So they're training themselves to prematurely ejaculate. But I will tell you that 75%, if not 80% of premature ejaculation has a physiological component to it. Hypersensitivity, the penile nerves, low testosterone, prostatitis. So there's a lot of physiological issues that are involved as well. So these old wives tales, and believe it or not, they still exist, and comedians use it as the butt of jokes and stuff, which I don't think is a positive thing, because it, When the message gets out there, jokingly or not, that, oh, you just don't care enough about your partner, or you don't have the mental strength not to ejaculate. If you have hypersensitivity to penile nerves or low testosterone or prostatitis, it's nothing to do with your mind. It's a physiological issue, okay? I use this anecdote, and I tell people, would a diabetic ever be ashamed to take insulin? Would someone with cancer ever feel self-conscious about taking chemo? Of course not. about using a sexual wellness aid. There shouldn't be. That's the answer. And I tell people, anxiety and intimacy and pleasure are two completely separate emotions. And anxiety intermixed with intimacy ruins it, okay? It really takes down your desire to be free and enjoying the moment and get the anxiety out of the bedroom. Don't inject it into the bedroom. Like I say, 75% of people using our products don't have PE. They want better intimacy. They don't want to have to go, okay, every single time we're in a minute, we got to use a vibrator for 15 minutes to get you a lot closer. We have to do cunnilingus for 10 minutes to even get closer than that. We're going to have 45 minutes of foreplay. In everybody's sexual journey, even in committed relationships, there are some nights you go, oh, the kids are with the in-laws. We have the whole evening. Let's make this a marathon session. In every relationship, times you go to bed and it's already 10 o'clock, you go, I got to get up at 4.30. I have a podcast I'm doing with someone at different times. Time Zone. It's 5.30. I don't have time for an hour and a half sexual episode tonight. Let's just do it. You know what I mean? So I tell people there's nothing wrong with having all different types of sexual experience. There are times you want this loving, long, nurturing session. There are times you go, I just want it down and dirty. You know what I mean? Let's just do it. I want a quick orgasm. I'm getting on a plane in an hour. I've got to go. Yeah, exactly. I've got a plane to catch. You know what I mean? You did bring up a really interesting topic and something I want to dig a little bit deeper. We're into, Jeff. is, you said you don't have to use the product every time. So thinking more about the delay products in particular, do you see these products as training wheels, safety nets, long-term tools? How would you define that with them? I would say depending upon what your needs are, it can be all of the above. I know people that literally have said, I started using your product and now I'm weaning myself off of it. I was using three to four sprays initially. There are some people that literally go, I will not be intimate without it because I only last 30 seconds. I put this under the category way too much information. They'll go, oh, you know, I only use it when the in-laws have the kids, you know what I mean? And we can have this session. And I'm like, okay, okay, I get it. All right. You don't have to go into that much detail. And there are people that actually tell me if I want to have a longer session, I use three to four sprays. If we both got to get up in the morning, I use one because it's a meter dose spray. So you get the same amount so you can actually titrate. It's not like cream where you just go, oh my God, I put out way too much. the same exact amount of active ingredient comes out every time. So the answer to that question would be all of the above. People use it to train themselves to wean off of it. Sometimes people use it to control how long they want to have a session. I always come up with difficulty finding the exact word. A session, an episode, whatever you call it each time you're intimate. It can be tailored to that particular need that night. We have a plethora of products. If we help people eventually, get to the point where they don't need our product, I consider that a win. I don't want people to go, oh my God, everyone has to use this product for every day the rest of their life. We want to help people. And if we help people, and whether it's through using it every time, whether it's using it occasionally, or whether it's learning to control where you don't need to use it anymore, I'm comfortable with any one of those scenarios. I think even talking about it, Jeff, you hear a lot about erectile dysfunction. I think most sex positive blogs, podcasts, articles in female magazines, men, where, oh, you're not strong enough mentally. So there's still some that go, oh, it's not really a medical or physiological issue. It's a weakness mentally, which is untrue. But secondly, I will tell you, a light bulb is going to go off. You're going to go, oh, my God. One was kind of in the same mode. It wasn't talked about. And then Pfizer discovered Viagra by accident. It was a heart medication. Everyone's like, how's your heart doing? I don't know, but I got a raging heart on. You know what I mean? Because it was blowing plaque out of people's arteries to help their heart. And then it was obviously not just confined to the heart. So Viagra was discovered by accident. But then the company that discovered it had a $200 million ad campaign. So one of the reasons that you might think, oh, well, it's a stigma. No, it's big money. If we were Pfizer, if we had the kind of advertising muscle, this would be just like Viagra where it took the world by storm. There hasn't been as much focus because the big guys with all the advertising money don't have a solution. They don't have a way. So they're not pounding the airways. Viagra was introduced with a $200 million ad campaign. And that's when it became this phenomenon. And people start talking and there's a movie, Love and Other Drugs, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. That's what helped it escape the shadows. One day when we have a partnership and we're in the process of exploring partnerships with big companies right now and somebody with deep pockets, you're going to go, oh, my God, this came out of the shadows. It won't be because the public suddenly decided that it was time to embrace this. It'll be because somebody with very deep pockets starts spending $10 million a month doing ads. You're right. That is interesting. I mean, having any product and sharing it with people and the right people is difficult enough that being in sexual wellness, more so, triple the problems that we have because we can't advertise readily on Meta and all sorts of other things. On anything. Companies like us. We've had Dr. Larry Lipschulz, Dr. Larry Levine, Dr. Amy Perlman, Dr. Rachel Rubin. We have a very robust advisory board, including the president of Sexual Medicine Society of North America, including the president of the International Society of Sexual Medicine. And we will run an ad and it'll get taken down. This is the president of the International Society of Sexual Medicine. It's stolen. I'm like, what? Oh, well, that's porn. That's adult. I'm like, what? This is the president of the International Society of Sexual Medicine talking about a clinical trial. And sometimes I want to put my hands behind my back and just bounce my head off the wall. I swear to God. I'm like, this is so unfair and it's so predatory. And it's what keeps big companies big and what inhibits small companies from ever becoming midsize or large companies because the playing field isn't level. It's unfortunate. It's unfair. That's very true. It's very true. Let's change track a little bit and talk about the product. You mentioned, before the spray, especially, but you also have a delay wipe. So my question to you is between the spray and between the wipe, what circumstances would you recommend each of those products? And if you can specifically relate that to swingers who might be going to a club for the weekend, I'd love to kind of niche, niche down on the product recommendation. I will tell you, first of all, that if you have severe clinical PE, don't ever use wipes, use spray. Okay. The spray has a higher efficacy and it works better. But a lot of people, Love the convenience of having a wipe. You don't have to carry a bottle around. If you're at home, there should be a bottle of spray if you want to use a delay product. But everyone's not always at home, swingers especially, they want to go to a club. So it's very convenient. You don't have to carry a bottle, you take it, and nobody's going to have to know you're using it. You have it in your pocket, you go to the restroom real quick, and you apply some of the wipe. So it's more of a convenience thing, and it's more for people who are recreational, who last 10 minutes and want to last 14 minutes, who last is the one that lasts 10 minutes. But if you have severe P.E. and you last 30 seconds or a minute or two minutes and you want to extend that, wipes are not going to be your thing of choice. And we try to make that really clear on our website and our messaging. But there was such a demand for it that people were like, well, I need something and I'm not really P.E., but I want something. So that's why that product was created. So each one has its own niche. But we have to be very careful because I don't want someone with severe P.E. that goes to their doctor. their doctor says use promescent and they buy the delay wipes because generally when you're a doctor you have severe you know clinical PE right so each one has its place yeah I will say though going back to maybe not having the spray in a swingers club we call it a hole-in-the-go bag it's where I keep you know my lube my condoms my wipes etc sex toys and we always carry it events clubs the delay spray is small enough to fit in there anyway so I would say even that is I was gonna say for me personally I would take the spray because it works better. And it's not intrusive. It's not like some giant bottle of Prell shampoo that's like four feet high. The bottle of Promescent fits in the change pocket of your jeans. But in some cases, you have to listen to your customers and they want something. You know what I mean? And you're going to go, okay, we'll do it. But I want to be very clear in my messaging because I don't want people disappointed. I don't know if you're aware of this, but we are huge in the swinger community. And they're my favorite demographic of our clientele. Because they are uninhibited. They don't give a shit about what anyone thinks. And they're going to a party and they're going to want to make love to three or four, five, maybe more different people. And they want to be at optimum performance. So I always look whenever I see a first-time order come in and there's like five products. There's like organic aloe vera lube, silicone lube, a toy, delay sprays, Vitaflux. I'm like, okay, what swinger podcast is that from? You know what I mean? Because when you go to a swinger, you're basically getting ready for a marathon session you're not going there yeah and you want multiple partners and vitaflux is our product that increases libido that increases firmness and rigidity of of erections and it's the one that makes you leaner and by and large a lot of swingers part of the appeal when you go to a swing network is you physically want to look attractive so that you can attract more partners you know And you certainly want to be able to perform. You don't want to ejaculate within two and a half minutes, and especially depending on what age you are, have to wait another two hours to have another partner. So I love swinger networks. I've had a couple of them invite me, and I'm like, at my age, you don't want to see me prancing around a swinger party, okay? Well, it sounds like you've got all the tools, though, so you might be the most popular one. I would have the best goodie bag that I'd walk in, you know what I mean? I'd be throwing samples out. They might want me there not to just to start stocking everybody with product. Well, we'll actually have your product at our Miami event in May. So they will actually have some of the Provencent products in their goodie bags. I love it. Now, let's change tracks a little bit. And, you know, we've spoken about men, penis owners. So I want to give a little bit of air time now to the ladies, to the vulva owners and talk a little bit about female pleasure. So similar to men, what we know is the clinical data shows elements of female sexual function, arousal, lubrication, when we talk about arousal. I think because a lot of the companies, I'm just going to be frank, a lot of the companies are run by male CEOs like Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline, and they discovered the ED market early on and knew that they could charge $35 a pill for something that cost them 12 cents to make. So up until the last 30 years, women were not accurately represented in the workplace. There was this thing, your job is to go home and raise the children, and the men had a lot more or control the purse strings. But I'm really happy that we live in a society now where finally it's not equitable, but women are earning close to what men proportionally are. They have a lot more discretionary income. And I think that finally we're to a point where people are going, why is all the focus on men's pleasure and not on females? I mean, if you look at even the makeup of the American Neurological Association Advisory Board, when I first got in the industry 15 years ago, I'm not shy. And I remember it saying to people, I don't understand this, so you don't understand what? Okay, look at the makeup of the AUA, the American Neurological Advisory Board, especially in sexual medicine. There are literally 11 people on that board. They're all male, and they're all over 55 years old. Any leadership group should be representative of the group that they're representing, okay? And I remember when I put the first female on our advisory board, and everyone's like, oh my God, why'd you do that? I go, because women are part of the equation in any heterosexual relationship. and a gay relationship, half of them are men, half of them are women. Women's pleasure is really important to us. And I remember I added a second one out of five people on our board. Two were females and a male urologist said to me, why'd you add a second one? And I'm like, I may add a third one. Okay. It was that mindset. Like, why would you want a female perspective? Duh. You know what I mean? Like, man, it's crazy. We're missing 50% of the population. Okay. It made no sense. How about if my advisory board literally is representative of all the people buying our products? Right. And I will tell you this, that a lot of our customer base now is female. Even some cases, our delay sprays are bought by females for their partner. I can absolutely see that. If you're a male and your wife or your partner says, hey, we need to use this, pay attention. And what I tell people is leave your ego at the door. I've done a lot of serious radio shows that have call-in, And even some podcasts where they're like, they have call-ins, questions, or they'll be reading questions. And I swear to God, when I do, even back when all we had was delay spray, 50% of the callers are female. And they all had the same question. And it saddened me. We really need this in our relationship. How can I bring it up without upsetting my partner? Yeah, have exploration. Yeah, have a feather duster and, you know, a riding crop. You know what I mean? Bring a bunch of everything and then have the promessence delay spray along with all that. That way you're not, literally going, oh my god, you're deficient in this area, you need to last longer, and a guy's not going to personalize it. Hey, we're having this fantasy night, wouldn't it be great if we could make it last forever? And I used to tell women that all you have to do is get them to use it one time, you will never have to tell them again. Guys love control. Okay. I want to talk about the arousal gel, because I don't know much about how they work. I've used them in the past, we've used the promescent ones, but what I don't understand is how, what does it actually do to me? Physiologically, There's a podcast with two ladies. It's called Wild Orchids, Two Wild Orchids. And I've done it, I think, three or four times. And I remember one time I was doing the podcast and she goes, guess what I'm wearing? I go, well, you have on a cream shirt with kind of a blue blazer. She goes, no, down below. I go, well, I can only see you from the waist up. And I go, what do you have on, a pair of jeans or whatever? Then I start laughing. I go, you have a pair of sweatpants and it doesn't match the top. That's why you're asking. That's why you're asking. She goes, no, I'm wearing promescent I'm like, what? She goes, when I get up in the morning, right before I leave, I just do a little dab. And she goes, all during the day, I feel nice and warm. She goes, around lunchtime, I dab up again. She goes, by the time I come home at night, I feel like I've had eight hours of foreplay. I just feel this warmth during the day. I go, oh my God. I go, I never thought about that. She goes, yeah. She goes, it almost feels like I have extended foreplay. By the time I come home, I'm already in the mood. I'm already aroused. And I started laughing, and here's what I said to her. I said, you know, that's the difference between men and women. She goes, what do you mean? I go, a woman, like being that crockpot all day, it simmers. You know what I mean? And you want to enhance that and just prolong that pleasure. I go, if there was a warming gel for a guy, he would feel that he'd run into the bathroom and rub one out right away because it's like, oh my God, I got to get that feeling. You know what I mean? I got a climax. That's the difference between men and women. I tell people sometime, especially men, your session with your partner should start in the morning. I can't wait to see you tonight. I'm really looking forward to being with you tonight. During the day, send her a nice text. Hey, blah. If your idea of foreplay is brace yourself, you know what I mean? Like, you're really nuts. That damn hatches, honey. Yeah, exactly. And especially in marriages, especially in long-term relationships, people lose that ability to romance their partner, to literally set a mood. So many guys complain, my life doesn't have the desire that I have. Hey, did you ever look in the mirror and think it might be because you literally look at it as an act and not a romance? So the arousal gel is something that a lot of men should buy and say to their partner, hey, even, you know, hours before we start, use a little bit of arousal gel to start getting that feeling. And then also compliment your partner, whether you're male or female, and tell them, you don't have to be specific, like, oh my God, you've got the biggest cock in the world. So just express your desire for that person. Nothing makes a man or a woman more prone to want to please their partner to feel like they're desired, to feel like their partner really wants them. No one wants the feeling like, oh, you want that again? Okay, get it over with. Everyone loves the idea that they're desired. There's a power in that. Yeah, it goes by the wayside. And I think everything that we've been talking about today is all for me. And if you're wanting to bring this into your bedroom, if you're wanting to have the conversation with your partner or start to use products yourself, this is about exploration. It's about exploration. And I think that's what a lot of, like you said, long-term couples lose that. We have a full line of vibrators we've developed. And I can tell you this is I've had to counsel. And when I talk to a lot of our male customers, I go, you've bought every single product that we have except vibrators. You don't. Well, no, I go, I'm a good lover. I don't need a vibrator. I go, wait, you think a vibrator means you're not a good lover? And I go, did you ever think not having a vibrator means you're not a good lover? And I go, what do you mean? I go, it's not in place of you. It's in addition to you. Plus, do you ever travel for business? Yeah. Do you want your partner to be able to achieve pleasure even when you're not there? Do you think she's going to use a vibrator? Go, I no longer need you. Do you think she's going to throw you out? Not only that, some women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. and intercourse sometimes that's very difficult because of where the clitoris is located i go did you ever think maybe during your lovemaking use of huh i go yeah use a bullet vibrator put it right oh i never thought oh my god okay like seriously still these stigmas that exist that everyone's uptight and you know i always tell people it amazes me because not every guy has to go on the strongest bench presser in the world not every guy has to go i have the biggest vertical leap in the world not every guy has to go i'm the best but when it comes to sex everyone has to go I'm the greatest lover who ever existed and I swear to God it's the most insane thing and that's why I'm pretty much riding out this man thing and I love monogamous long-term relationships but a woman who has a lot of partners is viewed as oh God you know what I mean she can't please one man whatever but as a guy you're looked at as like hey man this guy's got it going on no one's tying him down and that's so unfair we do focus more on his pleasure less on hers more on understanding how to please him, less on hers. And again, tools and all of these additional things for him. But when it comes to a vibrator in the bedroom or lube or an arousal gel, somehow you're not doing your job properly. I'm going to give you some rapid fire fact or fiction questions here. So I'm going to give you each of these as quickly as you can. I want you to tell me whether or not they are fact or fiction. It's a little bit of fun. We're not going to take it too seriously. Performance anxiety is more common than physical dysfunction. Oh, fact. Fact. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Fact. Using a delay spray means something is wrong with you. Fiction. Arousal products reduce intimacy. Fiction. Solo play harms relationships. Fiction. Great sex is about technique. Fiction. Longer sex always means better sex. Fiction. If my partner is using a delay product and penetrating me, it will cause issues for me too. Fiction. The delay spray tastes like an espresso martini and can be spritzed on top of a glass. Fiction. That one's for me. If you can make a flavoured one, love that. Yeah, exactly. Oh man, it has been absolutely fabulous having you on the show today, Jeff. And what I want to close out with is perhaps talking about how more couples can introduce these products into their bedroom. And we did kind of talk about that throughout the episode today about exploration, about introducing products when you're using maybe some other toys or other products or making a night of it, making a weekend of it, really kind of chatting to your partner about what feels good for them. And I loved your example earlier about the arousal gel and her kind of taking that eight-hour warm-up. I don't know whether I'm quite ready for that, but I am interested in a double dab. I'll start with a two-hour warm-up and work your way up, you know what I mean? Exactly, exactly. So for the lifestyle couples out there, what would you recommend should be in their hoe-on-the-go bag if you were to design it? Personally, I'll tell you what's in mine. I like the Promescent pH balancing wipes as well. They've been in my bag since we were in Singapore, actually, Jeff. So I have been using those for years. I love it because it's easy to freshen up. I even actually take them on the plane with me. It's not just for sex for me. I actually use them on the plane. I do the same thing. I do exactly the same thing. So that's what's in my kit. But would you recommend anything in particular that you would add to the Swingers Hoe Bag from your toolkit? I would always have organic aloe vera lube. Just me personally, I can't use I swear to God, I shower for three days and my clothes still stick to me. I'm like, I know certain people love it. That's all. Well, but for me, I'm a hairy dude. Okay. And I swear to God, I literally feel like I need to go get waxed and scrubbed down if I use, I'm an organic aloe vera lube. And I never had a partner that ever had any allergy to it. They love it. It's a great lube. So that would be in there. You have to take it consistently, but I would say anyone in the swinger lifestyle should try VitaFlux. For females, it allows you to continue to moisturize. well into your 60s and not lose that ability. For men, no matter what the situation, it gives you a firmer erection. And it's not something that replaces Viagra cells, Levitra. If you're impotent, it's not going to make you some raging stallion. But it improves erectile function because it's a nitric oxide supplement that increases blood flow. When you're past 30 days, it starts decreasing body fat and increasing lean muscle. Who doesn't want more muscle and less fat? It increases blood flow to your genitals. But I don't know if I'd put it in my bag to go, because taking it right before is not going to have that much. It builds up in your system. And it was developed by a sexual medicine specialist. I wish I could say I was the genius, but one of our doctors was giving it to his patient. He was giving them L-carnitine, L-citrulline, L-arginine, zinc, and magnesium. So they were carrying, and he said to me, you ought to try this. And I went, would you mind if I commercialize this and make it a product? This shit works. He's like, no, go ahead. And people go, you're a genius. I go, no, I didn't do it. it. And that worked out really well. If you ever are going to a swinger event, I would obviously have some delay spray in there because if you go, I'm about to have five separate partners, each one, I literally visually look at and go, I want to be with that. You don't want to be in a situation and go, well, I just shot all my bullets. And I would say I would keep either a bullet or maybe a rabbit vibrator or a cock ring in that bag as well. Yeah, I love that. We do that. I love toys. I'm a toy fanatic. Something I didn't actually ask you, Jeff, but I'm now thinking about it as we're designing our hoe-and-the-go bag together. Trademark joking. With the delay sprays, you mentioned there that you have multiple play partners. It's not uncommon in a swingers session like that. We're obviously very concerned about health, hygiene, STIs. So men might put the spray on, apply a condom, have sex with, say, myself. Then he would take that condom off and then maybe change partners. he would re-up on the spray before reapplying another condom. How would you handle that kind of real-world situation? The spray effect generally lasts 30 to 40 minutes. So if it's a half hour after you applied the spray, I would reapply another dose of the spray. 20 minutes later, I don't believe you would have to. Right. That's interesting, yeah, because I know that sometimes with my partner, it looks insane. When you see sometimes the aftermath of some swingers playing, it looks like there's a million and one condoms around, but it's not because, again, These people are raging stallions. It's because of hygiene reasons. If they're bouncing between different people, they might be taking them on, putting them off. I'm even in monogamous relationships at my age. And we use condoms until we've both been tested. You know what I mean? And when you go to a swingers, I've never been to one, but I wish I would have discovered and taken this job earlier in life. It's actually one of the reasons why even with the pH wipes, I'm actually particularly sensitive. So some things like a different lube, a different condom products, if I'm playing with another woman, for example, or I'm playing with a guy and he has perhaps used his fingers on a woman and then he tries to use the same fingers without washing on myself I'm prone I'm very sensitive so the wipes in particular the reason they're in my hoe bag is for that exact reason it's to freshen up myself freshen up my partner between make sure that you're not going to come in contact with something you might be allergic to that's one of the reasons why in my go bag I even though I don't go anywhere except it's on my nightstand I have the organic aloe vera lube love that I've never had anyone that had any issue with it whatsoever. And there's been other lubes where people are like, oh, I feel this tingling. I think I have an allergy to that. There's something in it on the look. Oh my God, there's this in there, that. But the organic aloe vera lube, everyone loves it. Yeah, I'll have to have a look at that. I haven't used that one yet. So I'll make sure that comes in another little goodie bag. We have to refresh your goodie bag. Absolutely. Now, before we go out, what I do want to mention and something we haven't really discussed is that this is not witchcraft. Magic Voodoo. These products are actually clinically tested. They're designed. And just really quickly, just so people understand that this company isn't born out of someone's backyard that's mixing potions in their sink and is now calling it a sexual health, a sexual wellness product, run us through the clinical side of things. This company and people we compete with, you were exactly right. They're out of their garage. I swear to you, some of this stuff is lemon juice and they get a clever marketing slogan. We were developed by a urologist, okay? We have roots in the urological community. Our products are all based and developed by PhD in organic chemists. They go through rigorous testing. We have clinical trials. We have patents. This is so different than so many other products in this space. These products are backed by science. One of the reasons we have the strong base that we have in the urological community, we have over 4,000 urologists that recommend our products now because they've read the clinical trials. They've researched the patents. They've actually used our products. I never realized this until I got in this business. I think 50% of people that go into urology go into urology to learn how to have better sex. I swear to God. So many of you are all just goes, oh, I love your products. I go, why do you get good feedback from your customers? They go, no, I use them. I'm like, what? And they're like, yeah. And they go, I don't have PE, but I just, I feel like I'm a better lover with this kind of stuff. So we really and truly take this seriously. We take the safety of our products. We've sold over 4 million bottles of Promescent. now. And we've never had a single incident with our contraindication lines. We've had people that call the line and go, hey, if I'm allergic to lidocaine, what would be the reaction? Can I use this if I'm pregnant? Can I use this with this? But we've never had any serious medical issue ever whatsoever. And we're very proud of that. We're going to continue to evolve. We're going to continue to look at new products. So we're a smaller company, so we don't have the bandwidth to do more than one every couple months. So that's why I say between zero and six. But if we don't find a single product that meets that criteria, we will not introduce a new product. So I take that to heart and I'm very proud of that. I know the first we put a product on is kind of just like not really that good. They'll go, oh, I can't just assume that everything on this site is top quality. So we will never deviate from that. The products have to be regularly tested. They have to be developed. They have to be as good, if not better, and everything else in that space. And I love that mantra. And I love the fact that you're not pushing product just for the sake of trying to cover a few extra steps or trying to bloat the bank account a little bit more because you're going to have those customers that feel confident in the authenticity and the transparency and everything that you've even said today and then actually coming back. So thank you, Jeff. Your journey has been an interesting one. I'm so happy to now be talking to you some seven years later that we last spoke and hearing about Promescent, about what you've done with the company. And again, continuing on with Dr. Gilbert's legacy. So thank you very much for everything that you've shared on the podcast today. And I'm looking forward to the next few months where we're going to continue checking out your product and we're going to have your product joining us, as we said before, in Miami. It's people like you that are our lifeblood. We're not advertising during NFL playoff games or the Super Bowl. We built ourselves organically. We love to be in touch with people that are open, honest, and educators and whose audience trusts them and believes in them. You know, I've been invited to go on podcasts where they tout 14 different products. I go, no, I'm not going to do it. You know, to me, that's just like everybody else. We've been invited. Sometimes people go, oh, I want you to come on our podcast. They don't actually ask to try the products. I go, I don't want to go on there. They're just touting something. I want people who speak from experience, just like you were talking about. Hey, I love your pH balanced wipes, blah. That gives an aura of authenticity that, hey, I've tried these products. I believe in them. Not just let me hawk something. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know whether one of your staff members mentioned it to you, but I was talking to a couple of your staff and I think I busted their balls a little bit. I'm not going to lie, Jeff. I did say to them, hey, look, we don't just partner with anybody. You know, we want to make sure that it's a good product and also that there's an educational element to it because at the end of the day, that's why we partner with people like you. And we're going to be asking Promescent to share some of your specialists with us in the coming months as well and getting them on the show to talk a little bit more about how things clinically work. because I have no idea. No, love it. And we're looking forward to your event in Miami. Get us some good feedback. Yeah, I will. If you're certainly either in Southern California or Las Vegas, let me know because I'd love to meet personally. I will for sure. Definitely. You'll have to take me to that awesome lunch dinner place that you go to. Oh, it's good. The fresh food place. Love that. Yeah. All right, everybody. That has been Jeff Abraham from from Messon. So please do check out the show notes. It's been a long episode, but I hope that you've enjoyed learning all about some of these sexual wellness products and. We look forward to sharing some more information with you soon.