The 12 Ways of Getting into C’s Pants

Transcript

This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. Well, I think I have a pretty exciting topic for this evening. What is your topic? Preach it, honey. We are doing the 12 days slash ways of getting into C's pants. Yep. Now, this is the single man edition. The single man edition. The single male edition. Oh, are you going to have a lady edition? No. That should be a good one, a good follow-up. Okay. I was going to do a couple edition, but yeah, lady edition will work. And the couple edition. Okay. Multiple chapters. Maybe not all at the same time. You're basically J.K. Rowling.

People will be so bored about it. So, you're telling me I'm as lame as Harry Potter. I'm not okay with that. That's not, can't say that about harry potter can i no that is no it's recorded and it's tomorrow it's going to be like out there in the ether unrecoverable yeah that's right you can't take that back that's how the internet i just want that to sit with you it's okay i'm okay with that okay what do you get so what do you got for us? So I am going to – I've put this together basically without your input. Why? Explain to Baby B a little bit of why you've put it together.

Well, a few reasons. The first one is we've met recently a very nice fella, single guy. Yep. Who still holds the name The Rock. Yep. He did some things on the way through that really helped his cause. Additionally, we've had a truckload of knobs who have showed us how not to do it. And I've taken a lot of notes on that on the way through. Additionally, I've taken a lot of notes on how to filter out the knobs. Is the term knobs an Australianism? I don't know. Maybe it could be a universalism. Okay. So for anyone out there, maybe if it is an Australianism, I'm not too sure. We're not 100%.

But knobs would mean jerks, right? Cocks. Yeah. Dicks. Yeah. I'm going with jerks. Well, knob is actually... An endearing term. The term for dick. Dicks. Yeah. I'm going with jerks. Well, knob is actually... An endearing term. The term for dick. Love it. Yeah. So, a wanker, a bad, bad person. A person with a horrible soul. That is... You don't mean that. Take it back. No. I sometimes do mean that. Some of the people we've met... Oh, actually, no. I retract my statement. With the men that were pretending to be single that were really not. Yeah. I don't know.

sometimes do mean that some of the people we've met oh actually no i retract my statement with the with the men that were pretending to be single that were really not yeah they're ugly i'm sure the uh i'm sure the text message you received from said man's wife was really inspirational to you it was um what i did was actually i printed it and i stuck it up on my wall and i just like to read it you know every day while i'm brushing my teeth inspirational reference how to be a knob I'll see you next time.

I stuck it up on my wall and I just like to read it, you know, every day while I'm brushing my teeth. This inspirational reference, how to be a knob. So, this is not the how not to be or how not to get into C's pants. This is how to get into C's pants. The positive spin. Right. So. Or really any woman's or any couple's pants.

I'm going to imagine there's probably some key takeaways here on how to act appropriately i would agree but additionally we've got to keep in mind that other couples may have a different take on this they may and i guess that's that's key because this is everyone's different and everyone's experiences are different everyone everyone wants different things so i guess this is ours yes of course i mean this is our What? So if they're listening to our podcast in, you know, trying to get information from another podcast, they're doing it wrong. They're doing it wrong? Yeah. Hashtag swing or fail.

Totally doing it wrong. So I'm going to kick off and C has not seen any of the 12 ways at this point.

So I'm going to ask her to this is going to be a tag team event i'm going to tag her in sort of midway the first one the first one now whether contacted or you contact number one start polite hello how are you is a very good start yeah so what's your thoughts on this i would yeah i agree start polite of course but i think also add a little bit of substance to that for me it's about showing that you've got more to say than just hi you know it's adding some substance so starting politely is great but then ask them a question ask engage them or make a comment about their profile or comment about what you and what caught your eye so actually do a for starters read a profile yeah yeah i'm going to throw a spanner in that as as a potential ex-single guy now i know that unfortunately a lot of people don't respond so to sit and go through and read every single profile that you're going to want to send an email to or whatever some form of contact to can be quite difficult so how do you feel about a canned message for a first message can i then spin that around on you and say how many Swinger profiles have you sat and read?

All of them. Me, personally? Yeah. No, you have. When you review... Yeah. Absolutely. So, I don't see why that's any different. Because I think it's a lower fail rate. Okay. Okay. You know, so a templated approach. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I'd like to think that the people out there are genuinely trying to put some effort in. And therefore, I really, I kind of sit on the fence with that one. I can see how it could be good in terms of, hey, if the person then responds, further engage. Yeah.

But then to my then to my mind i'm thinking well why are they contacting me if they have no idea about me or us for that matter yeah okay so that's where it becomes a bit gray for me yep i think that's fair i think a templated response sounds like a good method for a shotgun method if you're just trying to get into the lifestyle first time around. But I don't believe that it's a surefire way to ever get into C's pants or anyone else in a couple relationship for that matter.

Well, people want to feel like you've been chosen, I guess, to a certain level, that they are genuinely interested in you and that they are invested in maybe meeting with you.

And so if you start so if you start off with i guess a low investment i.e the template of response to me that doesn't show a lot of i'm going to be making effort i'm going to be sticking around yeah maybe that shows a little bit of i'm going to do my best with the time that i have and i'm not interested okay so let's move on to number two because the the reason i'm pushing this along is because we're starting to like get into that in fact the first words out of your mouth were number two so number two is uh volunteer information about you uh photos, work type.

You know, you've got to keep in mind that this is a date, right? Yep. Ask questions. Yeah, I was going to say that's a big one too. So be interested in the couple and understanding what they're about. Yep.

Like I said, if you approach them and say hey your profile caught my eye because of this reason and then i am these things and hey i'm really interested to know more about you and these things about you that's a perfect that's a perfect opener right there yeah absolutely so i i believe that a guy should be as open as the couple is with him and i put it to you this way actually if we received that there is no way i would not reply to that yeah if we received that as a first message i would at least respond to that person and then if i wasn't interested i would say thank you but not interested unfortunately i think we may be in the minority okay i think if somebody shows me they've taken time i'm going to respect their time and respond yeah okay whether that's a thank you i appreciate your message i'm not really keen or not but i think absolutely they need to tell me more about them because also i have to respond.

If you give me nothing to respond on, I'm also just responding with a templated response like, yeah, I'm great, how are you? So let's say a man starts with his conversation and he says to you, hey, I'm in a marriage my wife doesn't know. What would be your response? I would say thank you for the message. We currently play together as a couple and we do not play with other people that are not being honest and open or single or honest and open with their partner. Okay. So that's a fair statement and that's what I figured you would say because we... Did I just pass the test? You did.

I got a gold star. a gold star silver gold's coming silver was the piss what like if you if you got a silver star in school that was like that was pretty bad that was almost like everybody getting a certificate of attendance it's gold star or nothing that's where i'm going with that gold star well you could call it platinum star though no it was a silver star everybody knows star. Everybody knows that. Yeah, everybody does know that. But, yeah, I think I agree with you. I think honesty is the key at this point.

And honesty may not necessarily be something that's going to get you laid more regularly. Yeah, I would say to them that thank you and I respect that you're telling me.

Like, I would appreciate the fact've told me that in fact because they could lie we've had this happen yes we've had people openly say beginning of the conversation hey just so you're aware and we said thank you for your honesty we um we don't play with people who are married unless their their partners is aware is aware and the reason for that is very simple for us it's a low drama scenario that's what we're looking for low drama scenario if you add a partner who doesn't know immediately the drama skyrockets because straight away um you know there's things that possibly they can't do like they can't be part of a booty call for example It's also if they're that dishonest i don't have time for them yeah honesty is the key i think is probably what what you're looking for there yeah yeah okay so let's um i'm gonna there's still a few more things in two.

Okay. Hit me with it. Okay. I believe and I think you'll agree. Photos. Yeah. If asked for, photos. Now, what sort of photos are important? Okay. So if unprompted, also provide a photo. So I think show them what you look like. That's pretty reasonable to expect. Well, yeah. I mean, if you're a single guy realistically looking for a couple, then I don't think you've got a lot to lose by showing a photo to a couple. But even still, they might just want to keep their – they might be because of their job. It could be for varying reasons. Maybe they're a single dad.

That could be another reason why they might not want to show a face photo up front but they can still show a body shot as minus the face yeah um or maybe something where they're looking away from the camera whatever the case may be but i think volunteering a photo is extremely important and then following on from that if if you do get asked for a photo is providing photos that i mean you want you want to make yourself look in the best light possible, of course. Yeah.

So do your best to provide that, you know, find a photo that you really like of yourself that somebody else has taken or do a selfie, take a selfie and just practice taking a selfie and send that along.

And then once, once you've done that, I mean, it's completely within your, I think not rights, but of course I would expect that that i would reciprocate so if they sent us or he sent us a photo back and he said hey here's me maybe i can see one of you guys absolutely by that time i would say yep here is our photo yeah okay so um i think also if you can do it uh real photos not selfies yeah if Yeah, if you can. If you can do it, because selfies don't paint anybody in the best light. Unless you're really good at it. But, I mean, not everyone has a group of friends, especially men.

No, I understand. How many males take photos of their friends? You know, it's pretty rare. Yeah, and, you know, announcing it to your female friends will just get you called a man-whore. Sometimes. Yeah. Or, or it may swing the other way. As some of your friends did very first time around, when we discussed going to a club, they were like, let's go. We're keen on coming. Do you remember that? No. No? Okay. Not at all.

Yeah, they were keen on coming um also explain your swinging experience yeah that's a good one that is i think that's actually reasonably important for us um not not that not to say we're not going to play with someone because of their swinging experience but it just helps us to understand and especially um if we have a guy who said, yep, I have played with a couple before or a few couples, instantly I know they get the dynamic.

They realize that this is us, a loving couple in a loving relationship, experimenting and experiencing together, and this is not a potential for I'm going to be disrespectful or steal the woman away etc etc i think that they already understand a little bit about maybe what's expected or what can and cannot be done or rules or boundaries and so you know i mean that that's probably something we would have a preference for. However, also, honesty prevailing.

If they said, you know what, I'm dipping my toe in the water, I don't know a lot about this, I've heard about it, or a friend does it, or I read it on the, you know, internet or whatever, and they say, look, I don't know a lot, that also then leads into us saying, oh, okay, great, are you aware of these things? Yeah, I agree. Further question. um what about if've had an immense amount of experience? Yeah, it can be sometimes, I guess, a bit daunting. Because it's not that they're trumping you with experience. That's not the way that I'm going with that.

But you might think like, okay, well, say somebody said to us they've had a hundred partners they're with a hundred different couples for me I would go okay so then my next question would be are they more inclined to one night stands because having a hundred couples maybe to me would sound like they've had a lot of short relationships we have a preference for making a connection having some dates and, and having a play partner, essentially. Not a poly relationship, just somebody who we can have a laugh with. Booty call.

Yeah, have a barbecue with, have around for dinner, go out, have drinks, try new wine bars, try new tapas bars, whatever. Share with your friends. You know, that kind of relationship. So, that's the only thing I would think maybe a little bit, not negative, but maybe something I would take into consideration. Yeah, absolutely. Are they of the same type of lifestyle as we classify ourselves to be? Yeah. I think that probably sums that up pretty well. Is that just question two? So I'm going to go on to number three. Wow. Long question. Huh? Long question. No, no.

I'm going on to question, not question, the third thing of getting into your pants. Thank you. Wow, one question. Huh? Long question. No, no, I'm going on to question, not question, the third thing of getting into your pants. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, okay. So we're all on the same page. Right. Yeah. So the next one is calendars seldom line up quickly. That's a lot of my fault. What's important?

When the calendar doesn't line up yeah quickly that's a lot of my fault what's important um when the calendar doesn't lie and line up and there's potentially a month or two or three oh do you mean continual contact oh there we go okay yeah so look my calendar is a bit crappy i have a lot of bit crappy i have a lot of day stuff i have a lot of night stuff i travel for business and on top of that our travel our life yeah and then throw into the mix swinging um you know you've then you've got a pretty busy diary then so if we cannot and then if you also add the other person because we live in such a transient country where it's the asia pacific travel hub that person's also doing the same thing that i am traveling working long hours so sometimes getting that um initial meeting or even follow-up i we had a date with a couple a little while ago that took a month and during that month i don't expect you to be texting me every day um or texting us every day but what is appropriate and reasonable is just to touch base and just continuing to say hey how are you going or i think the most important thing you're glossing there is spontaneous contact so don't just speak with a couple when they're speaking with you it's if you're actually interested in catching up with these guys then you'll probably engage them maybe once a week, a month, whatever that looks like I suppose it really depends the length of time or delay to the catch up if the delay is only two weeks versus if the delay is a month, you know, as much as I would expect them to be engaging with us, I also expect us to engage spontaneously with them as well.

Agreed. So, you know, I mean.

So, another thing to keep in mind with a couple, I suppose, is that they may be travelling, they may be doing other things, they may not be able to get back to you, but it's still polite to say hello every now and again i mean if you want to if you if you do wish to have a friendship basis to a potentially sexual relationship in any form of dating that's what you have to do and also remember i mean we use kick messenger so in kick messenger you can have multiple users in a group chat if i'm if i am busy if i'm away and say he engages you know the group chat oftentimes you will respond yep and you'll say hey c's busy and you'll you know add something to the conversation and you know you and him will be backwards and forwards and sometimes i'll randomly chirp in and say hey you know i just got out of a meeting how's everyone going what's happening read back through them but that's important too to not just you know if you were then saying c's busy if he just cut conversation and didn't continue to engage with you that's probably an indicator that maybe he's not so respectful of us i am sick of you skipping forward to my other things sorry you know it's hard to do when i don't know where they are my podcast i organize this shit okay so you know i retract my previous statement so don't continue to talk to d number four the fourth step is uh i say ask for photos if at this point you don't have a photo of the couple it's it's it for two reasons it shows you're interested but it also protects you i mean single guys got to protect themselves as well right that's true because we could be masquerading as a single as a couple as a couple when we're a single guy so i'm saying at this point you need to actually be sure if you've been communicating for a while all that sort of thing i think it's fair right now that you turn Thank you.

guy so i'm saying at this point you need to actually be sure if you've been communicating for a while all that sort of thing i think it's fair right now that you turn around and say hey guys look i've given you some information you know you can do it politely at this point because it's you're now having a conversation with can be flirtatious as well of course um when you receive shots from the couple be happy with not sexual shots. Yeah.

You know, they may throw you a sexual shot, they may not, but if they don't, I mean, I think make comment, you know, like C looks beautiful, whatever, you know, whatever you want to say, whatever actually sits well with you.

Again, going back to the don't lie um if they're not your type that's fine just at this point is at the first point you figure out somebody is not your type that's the point you should tell them because if you continue down the track you're just going to waste everybody's time yeah that's important and i mean you could you could just say that they seem particularly lovely but you're not sexually interested in them as a single male yeah there's nothing wrong with that well no i mean it's gonna sting yeah it is but but better a sting than a bite you're being honest and you can move forward i think that without you know as you say wasting anyone's time yeah absolutely so this is i'm gonna now go on to step five okay step five ask questions of both partners oh that was me skipping ahead yeah uh well the reason the reasoning behind this for me though is most couples, most swinger couples have at least one ground rule and a lot of swinger couples that we've met and certainly a lot of the podcasts and stuff we listen to one of the basis rules is they will not take one for for the team yep right so you have to impress both individuals in the couple can i add something that i recent podcast?

Yes. Sir, because I'm just clarifying that with you. Okay. Actually, on the Curious Couples podcast. You can keep calling me sir. They recently spoke about where they were out at a club and this girl was being very forceful and very handsy towards tea.

and said you know she didn't even really introduce herself to the girls and there was like say there was three couples in this room so this woman comes in she's very handsy trying to get all over tea wanting to engage with him but didn't have i'm going to say the respect to introduce and engage his partner and the other women in the room and it resonated with me because I thought one it's just polite behavior but two they're a couple and they are in the lifestyle to experience as I mentioned before so if you're going to attempt to try and you know and you may find them very attractive that person extremely attractive you want to get handsy but take moment to engage their partner.

Your chances of getting into their pants or things progressing further are much higher if the partner likes you because then when the one partner engages the other partner and says, hey, I'm thinking about moving this forward, the other partner is going to go, yep, absolutely, I think they're a great person. Yeah.

Not I know nothing about them, they're estranged, they seem a bit handsy and weird get away from them handsy and weird people so they're the worst types i don't know so that that resonated with me yeah i agree and i think that's um of critical importance so now you've gotten to the point where you've exchanged photos you know you've spoken with the couple quite a bit things are going well things are going pretty well right i mean you're already and we're only up to step you're at six five okay well six is coming six is coming so at this point you know if you haven't already you should really be looking at when the catch-up is all right now i think typically most people start the first catch-up in a bar or you know somewhere you can have a drink um maybe something to eat Thank you.

Now, I think typically most people start the first catch-up in a bar or, you know, somewhere you can have a drink, maybe something to eat. Yep, some nibbles. It may not be a sit-down restaurant, and actually I would recommend against that, which we found out very early into our lifestyle. Sit-down dinner is probably not the way to go, a bit more informal. Unless you have a booth.

Yeah, but even still I would say tapas nibbles drinks cocktails okay i wouldn't say sit down to a full meal oh no no no no i mean like in a restaurant is okay provided you're you know somewhere that you can still speak appropriately yeah sort of thing so my number six and and i don't think we've really experienced this too many times, except maybe once or twice, suggest some locations for a catch-up. Oh, I was about to say that.

It makes me so much more interested and hot for the person if they have done their research and maybe in previous conversations, they've actually kind of felt you out a little bit. And I would be the first to admit, I love wine, cheese, and coffee. If you can try to combine those. And cock. Yes, and cock and pussy and, you know, I'm not really. And boobs and butt and four arms. The list is getting way too long now. Biceps.

If you can combine those things for me in a sexual surrounding that's cool, that's trendy, and also you're taking me somewhere new or us somewhere new, instantly you're ahead of the game. Sploosh. Yeah, because I feel like you've put in effort. Yeah. And you've listened to it. And frankly, once you're at this point with a couple, now's the time to put in effort. Yeah. Because you're already, you know, you're well on the way, as you just said, to getting into C's pants. Thank you.

with a couple now's the time to put in effort yeah because you're you're already you know you're well on the way as you just said to getting into cease pants at this point if you have if you've made the recommendations for and if you've even reserved the table wow that's you're up the ladder that's for me is really key because again i feel like you are interested and engaged in me and in us. Now, be sure that the couple may actually turn around and say, look, no, we're not interested in that location.

But surely putting that forward will gain you an immense amount of brownie points, which is, again, another step on the way. And locality, I guess, is important. Pick something that's not ridiculously far away from either person. If you guys live a little bit further away, try to think of something that's maybe a halfway point. So given that C's now skipped ahead again. Sorry. You and your brains. Sorry. Too many of them. Bloop. That must be taking it all back. So we're now up to seven, step seven. When you do actually catch up. Okay. Yeah. Number one.

What's the number one thing when you catch up? I would say number one. Number one. Above all else. Be happy. No, it's before that. Well, I mean, there's so many facets there's arriving on time there's grooming there's coming number one is actually turn up okay you're going right back oh yeah taking a bare bones actually 7.1 right yeah actually turn up and if you can't turn up if there's a problem if something happens if there's any reason whatsoever, make sure you communicate it. How?

So if during the day we got a message that said, hey, tonight's now looking crazy, if that's during the day, I'm more likely to believe it's an honest situation. If it's an hour before the catch-up things start getting a bit sketchy for me yeah but that becomes that comes back to constant or continued communication you know if you become aware of something like that i mean we all know stuff's gonna stuff happens sometimes i mean by the by perfect example right oh yeah the single guy got run over on their on his way to their house. You know, that's fair enough.

You know, people are going to take a second look if you put your hand up and say, these are the photos. Jesus. Actually, no, we also had that happen in one of our pub crawls in Sydney. We did. A couple felt that bad that they couldn't come, and they were so concerned that we would not believe them. She was having some surgery in the back of her head. Yeah. She had a cancerous mole removed from the back of her head that day when they identified it. And they sent us a photo. I mean, look, it's a little bit strange, but they sent us a photo of the stitches and, you know. Which is fair enough.

I mean, I thought that was quite humorous. It was funny. Yeah. So, but just keep people in the loop. If things are changing, you know, life happens. Sometimes things get in the road. I understand where you're going with 7.1, but I feel like that just, that's an obvious one. Turning up. Yeah, but is it? Yeah. But is it?

well have have you had people not turn up that have already been you know steps one through six engaged no but i certainly know of people that have been through that because i feel like normally if if steps one through six haven't really been done well or you've got the swing of gods telling you they're not done well that's when i think you'd probably get a bit of a gut feeling yeah they're sketchy with their photos or whatever yeah so you're right i agree but i think i think there still are people out there who just simply don't turn up now i would think that in a lot of times that's because there's been lies earlier in the conversation.

Yeah, that's what I mean. That they haven't done the right thing. So when they do turn up, step me through your perfect scenario when they turn up. Well, here's a question for you then. Oh. Are they already there when I arrive or when we arrive or are they arriving after we are already there? Well, I mean, every time we organise a date, we end up getting there early for a drink anyway, really. Generally, because I'm a bit of a time stickler, a bit of a time snob I'm going to call myself.

So if we were not there and they had already Arrived early, then for them To obviously stand up when we Arrive, greet us Greet us warmly, have a smile, be well Dressed, be well groomed And eye contact Immediately, and if at that point Also little things, you know, like Let me sum this for you Be a gentleman If there's water on the table, pour know, like if there's... Let me sum this for you. Be a gentleman. There you go. If there's water on the table, pour the water. If there's a bottle of wine going, pour the wine. And not just for the woman, for her partner as well.

I think it's important at this point that you just understand that... You're on a date.

So, you know, what would you do for a date with a single lady for example yep do those things and frankly if your date with a single lady doesn't include you actually greeting her by standing by standing up potentially giving you know a welcoming uh kiss on the cheek or two kisses whatever your you know whatever your culture is then you're probably not gonna end up in the right place anyway and it's starting a bit awkward at that point yeah of course so if so okay so the gentleman arrives and i use the term gentleman on purpose the gentleman arrives and um we are sitting on separate sides of a booth where should he sit next to me absolutely agree because that again shows interest in you but we do that very strategically i mean we we try to set the scenario up even when we're dating a couple that you're able to engage with the other people more.

So rather than us being on one side of the booth and the other couple being on the other side, we would generally sit across from each other. It allows better engagement. I agree, but we have had a guy, a single guy, who turned up and sat on my side of the booth. And that for me and I think for you was an instant, well, hang on. It creates a bit of a barrier. Because then also I feel like, you know, are you guys a panel? Like, you know, it just feels a bit bizarre. I agree. I agree. So sit on the side of the table where the female is if you can.

Or if it's a round table, sit in between the couple. On the other side. Try to. Try to sit where you can engage both individuals and also make the lady feel a little bit more desirable. Yep. Yeah. Good. We're on the same page. So, again, you're now sitting down with a couple um you're sitting in the right place and you need to strike up conversation i mean this stuff's not necessarily easy but would you have any problem i certainly don't think you will but would you have any problem with if you covered old ground no.

No, I mean, we don't expect people to be infallible, like their memory to be infallible. They might remember a minute detail. They might remember, oh, hey, see, I think you mentioned one time, or hey, it's taken us a month to catch up. You must travel a lot for work. Yeah. Where did you travel to recently? What do you do?

I feel no problem at all with traveling back through the whole conversation that's been had before provided you you know when when somebody says oh you know i do this for a living you go oh that's right i remember that and i remember that you travel to wherever because of that you know as long as you can um provide some input i think it's okay to go back well yeah as long as it's not a strict question and answer scenario because in text this is not 20 questions via text it can be quite answer a question answer question answer in this conversation like like the example as before you might remember a minute detail and then use that to roll the conversation forward and cover old ground yeah so what's the first thing you notice about somebody when they walk into a room about a single guy first thing that's what they're dressed in how they what their appearance is yeah so is that important yeah of course it's important because you want to know again you want to know that they've made some form of effort this does not need to be a a suit, top hat and tails.

Although that would guarantee them getting in. No, that's a little bit weird. It's too far? Yeah, that's probably a little bit too far. Is it the top hat? If they took the top hat off? Tails are probably also a little bit weird. Really? Maybe those little like, those white bits on the shoes. Who are you? Yeah. I don't know. I actually thought that a top hat and tails would be like you sliding off the chair in the booth. No, I'd be like, oh, when's the musical performance starting? Or have you just come from your wedding? Or have you just come from Randwick, Royal Randwick or something?

Yeah, of course. Of course the appearance matters because have they put in effort? Yes, no. It's pretty quick to judge that. And you don't need to be rich. I don't expect you to be walking in in labels. It's just with what you have, have you done the best you can? So crocs and socks are out is what you're saying? Yeah, crocs, socks and cargo shorts probably try to do better than that. Leave it at home. Well, it depends on the event as well. Like a hideous shoe convention? Well, yeah,'re at a... Like a hideous shoe convention or...

Well, yeah, if you're going to a hideous shoe convention, that would make perfect sense. Make sure you've got those little pin things that go into the front of the holes in the crocs, you know, you can put little... You can add a little detail. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to have that. Bring those on there. Absolutely. Hideous shoe convention. So, I agree.

I think it's important that you turn up dressed, I say, if it's a sunday afternoon at the local pub casual is perfectly okay shorts may may be okay shorts t-shirt may be okay but if you've been invited out at eight o'clock to a dinner in a you know like a tapas lounge for example then the expectation is that you'd probably throw on a pair of jeans. But even if, you know, with your Sunday afternoon pub scenario, if you turn up with a crinkled-smelling shirt and crinkled-smelly shorts, you know, that, of course, you know, you're going to just... Dress appropriate. You're on a date.

I mean, I'm going to roll it back to the fact that you are on a date. Yeah. And I've always had a rule on my way through life that if you're the best dressed person in the room, the worst case scenario is somebody might have a joke at your expense. But you will never be under... If you're never underdressed, then nobody will ever think that you don't care. Yep. So, yeah, it's not a job interview, but at least turn up looking decent. I mean, run a comb through your hair. Shit. Mm-hmm. So I think a few things are you missed in terms of being a gentleman.

Some of the things you like in particular. When they're refilling my wine when they're refilling your wine glass number one because you're a lovely lovely booze hag if they refill your wine glass i mean i remember back to do you remember our first single date yeah he was attentive he he not only refilled my wine glass and water glass and yours but then he also meals, and again, we were sharing kind of like tapas, share plates, he actually not only served me, but he served you. Yeah. And that soon away, straight away from me, I was like, wow, you are a true gentleman. Yeah. Yeah.

That was quite interesting. Yeah. And I don't think that's a necessity. It's not, but it's. But it was just, it was. Don't do it. Did you notice it? Yeah, absolutely.

yeah absolutely and did it stick with you yes but don't do stuff if you don't normally do it oh yeah if it's out of your if it's out of your character if out of your character then you're just going to look goofy trying to achieve gentleman status you know just just be polite and gentlemanly is the best to your to the best of your ability and knowledge um so yeah he did do that absolutely and i think it was a it was a nice move because frankly after things like that i'm on the same page as well like we're both sitting there thinking can we go home now well it's just a it's it's a standout for us and we'll never forget it i don't think yeah so let's skip on to number eight now.

Okay, fine. Number eight, show your sexual interest. Yep, super important. I suck at it. I'm getting better. Still a little way to go. But absolutely, show people that you are sexually interested.

And if somebody was interested in doing that for you, how would they do it starts always with eye contact um always starts with eye contact if you yeah because for sexual interest i would have thought that's just conversation no well not not always i mean you've got to be looking at someone directly in the eyes you're smiling at them with your face with your body you know you're leaning in a little bit when they're talking you're starting to become a little bit more intimate and closer to them then it follows on obviously with some some touching some flirtatious touching so it starts with flirtatious conversation first i think so some sexual innuendo might be a good idea in there you know like when you can use things i mean let's be honest we're all there with the idea that potentially this may end in sex, right?

Yep. So everyone's already a little bit ahead of the curve in terms of that. So some sexual innuendo is not going to upset anyone. Yeah. You're already warmed to the idea of potentially having those conversations. They're not coming completely left field. No. Some sexy comments, you know, especially, I mean, some complimentary comments is not a bad way to go.

And then, yes, touch is an important thing yep um also something else that'll get juices flowing and and stuff is if you have had sexual experience with a couple you know if you're prompted then feel free to share that you know don't nobody i think expects that you're going to have names addresses and you know they certainly don't want that but they want to understand certainly we do if you've um been in an experience like this before and also what you like i mean if they turned around and said oh you know the high i just had such an amazing experience with a couple and the highlight was when we were all in the bedroom and both of the guys were, you know, pleasuring the woman.

Yeah, absolutely. You've instantly, you've shown what you're interested in and so that the couple then knows a little bit about your style of play but you've also turned the conversation to a sexy subject matter. Yeah. And so then the couple might say oh yeah actually we really enjoy that too or we've had a similar situation and share that as well so you're making the conversation turn to sexy agreed fair fair and reasonable yep absolutely now i'm going to move on to number nine geez we're getting. Well, the reason number nine is going to be a little left of field for you. Okay.

Don't look at the iPad. Okay. Sneakily trying to look at what number nine is. What's number nine? Number nine. Feeling fine. Offer a lift home if you can. Okay. Why do you think that is? Very left field. Yeah. Again, the guy that I spoke about before that dished us up, he offered us a lift home. He did. And what happened with him? Yeah, well, we were going home. Actually, we weren't going home for that reason. Well, we weren't sure about it. But, I mean, again, it's just politeness. Well, I think it actually... Don't go out of your way. It is certainly polite.

But additionally, it adds to your ability to talk with people. And more additionally, as a single guy, you are there to experience something with this couple. And it may be conversation or it may be deeper.

If you believe that it's deeper, then there may be still some people in the room who are a little bit scared about just putting their hand up and saying please come home with us so the ability for you to um challenge that situation and actually have somebody there you know you're now closer to home all that sort of thing this is more about protection for the well not protection but um interest for the single guy right it puts it It puts a couple in a position where they can say, hey, our house is like just there. Would you like to come in? It makes it easier.

You've left the restaurant, but you've not spoken about the bill. Ooh. Is that not on your list? No, it's not because, sorry, it isn't. The main reason is I would, if we're taking a single guy out then we should pay the bill yeah this is a difficult topic of conversation though if a if if we i mean we're pretty liberal with that i guess i don't think so i think if you're if you're a couple i don't think it's it would i would never consider it fair for the guy to cover all of the costs because it's two versus one straight up. Yeah.

The other thing is – I mean, if he were to suggest a split bill, I wouldn't be totally averse to that. But, you know, it's also my job or the man's job to be – This is what I'm saying. You've got two men in the room now. Yeah, to be a gentleman as well. So you know what happens? What? Sometimes I pay. Sometimes you pay. Yeah. You do. But it's okay. Well, I mean, now you pay every time. Well, that's just because I'm a lady like that. You are a lady. Quite the lady. Offer a ride home if you can. Offer a ride home if you can.

I believe i believe i mean the reason i added that is because a lift home got uh sea laid by her first single guy yep because only because he came home drove us home and then he said um uh he said it was a lovely night and would you like it to continue i think was his words yeah i i think i may have actually invited him up that time but it gave him another 20 minutes to be in the conduct to be talking to us um we got to also check out the inside of his car how he generally looks after himself his property you know again it's a little bit more insight into a person absolutely so so um number 10 number 10 is respective of some of the dramas that you may have been having recently what do i take with me every time we go to a swing i don't know why you keep taking that viagra i always take some backup with me i've to this point not required it, but I always take backup.

And the one sole reason is it because it now puts to bed any concerns I might have about performance. But also, I mean, it's just coming prepared in general. Like we take condoms along. Yeah. Again, I guess if you're a single guy, maybe you're inviting that couple back to your house. I mean, it comes with the territory of being prepared. Is your house clean? Do you have condoms? All of those things. But also, if you do have a problem, then don't just shrink out of the room, right? There's other things that you have that see as interested in. Yep. So, that's the next one. Number 11.

We're nearly there. All right. What do you got? Don't be afraid of finishing. Why do you think that is? What's the point of this one? I'm just a bit confused. Why are you a bit confused? You think the car was left field. I think this one's a bit left field. So don't be afraid of actually coming as a guy is what I'm saying.

Yeah, is that i think it is for a lot of guys i think a lot of guys out there believe that they have to be this two-hour stallion five-hour stallion you know they have to continue until until the girl pushes them off and says i'm now broken and worn out yeah i mean i i see we i see what you're saying about that, but it's either of the extremes. So if you have someone who is a very quick person to orgasm, then that... Depends on whether they can back it up or not. This is what I'm saying. So it's really down to the play style, the person. I enjoy when a man comes because I like to see that.

It's a big turn-on for me. It's part of your satisfaction. I like to watch you come. We've been with people in the past that haven't been allowed to come and I've always felt a bit strange about that because I thought it's just a bit, I guess, what's happening in the room. I kind of focus a little bit on it. But again, it comes down to either is that your play style? Do you have the ability to kind of step up and come back into the game? Or if you don't, with your cock, again, there's toys. There's oral play. There's a million other things that could be going on to continue to stimulate.

Absolutely.

So I get it what what you're saying but i don't think that i've found it to be such an issue of people being concerned about coming no but you never would because you're not the guy in the room yeah who's required to you know uh who has the mindset if they've ever watched porn in their life they have the mindset that they there's a requirement for them to come at the exact appropriate time yeah i i now okay i understand what you're saying with it now like some women it's to the point where they're like god hurry up you know like when are you gonna come and it's almost like men have to it's you can't be too short you't take too long.

Yeah. But, and that range changes with every woman. Of course, and with the play style. So, I suppose just to step back from what my comment is here, it's probably more important that you actually say to a woman, for example, if some, if you were riding somebody and they said, I need you to stop for a second, would that be a major problem for you? No, but sometimes I might like dom out on would that be a major problem for you? No, but sometimes I might like dom out on them and be like, no, you're going to come. Yeah, exactly. But then you get to live that experience, right?

And that's part of your bonus from being involved. That's hilarious. Yeah, I don't know why Siri's turning on in the background. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's, I think, is an important factor because previously you've had men who haven't come. Did you feel that if they had have, it would have made a better night for you? Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes I wonder whether or not there should be some conversation around that. Yeah.

i mean typically like i'm overstimulated um i'm really enjoying this but i can't come there's too much going on there's too much going on yeah absolutely if that's the case yeah i mean typically i'm i'll throw it out there typically i come relatively quickly okay i think relatively to some of the other guys we've been around that being the case though i can also back it up so i don't it's not as much of a drama you hold back do you i i do yeah absolutely it depends on the night depends on the people i mean it depends on a whole lot of factors yeah i get that yeah what's number 12 oh number 12 can i call this the big bang step go can i call it the big bang step yeah the big bang step i I don't know what it is.

I get that. Yeah. What's number 12? Ooh, number 12. Can I call this the big bang step? Go. Can I call it the big bang step? Yeah, the big bang step. I don't know what it is. I'm just, because it's the final one. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you, what do you think number 12 is? I don't know. Come on, have a step. Make a move? No. No, you're already at, I mean, you've just had sex. Have you just had sex? We're talking about not being in faith. Oh, this is follow-up conversation. Or lay there, be in the moment, enjoy each other, laugh. Well, that's actually still part of 11. Oh, God.

What is number 12? Just put us out of our misery. Sorry, number 11 was exactly that. So, you know, still be engaged after the fact. Don't come and run. Don't come and run. But also, you know, a lot of guys feel quite sleepy after coming is a perfect example. Do you know anyone else who feels like? We need to move on to 12 now. You've teased us and then you've brought us back to 11. Put us on 12. Number 12 is actually post-coitus. Number 12 is don't vanish. On the night or in general? In general. Okay. Yeah.

Unless, I guess, it was pre-discussed and pre-established that this is a one-night stand. Yeah, of course. That's a different thing. What you're saying for us is, though, when we're trying to seek out... This is a list of how to get into C's pants. True. Yeah, not into the entire world's pants. That's okay, yep. Yeah. Yep, so that's important. Well, we like to send a message on the night or after play. Like to? We do. Do it religiously. Yeah, we always do it. Makes the other person feel nice and respected, and you've just shared a pretty intimate thing. Yeah, absolutely.

You've shared a part of yourself and a part of your relationship often as a couple you've you know shown people the inner workings often of your bedroom so that's a pretty big deal i think and so it's important to you know thank people and add something sexy to it just be involved after the fact lovely and just just be nice just be a nice person yeah so and that guarantee will just about guarantee a chance to get into C's pants again now what that the reason I say that this is an important step is because if you actually want to you know want to remain one of the people that gets gets to get into these pants you or continues to without having to put all the work back in again you know i'm now looking at other couples for example you just stay engaged you've put a whole lot of work into meeting us and getting into your pants and if you then just drop that and run you've got to go through the whole process again.

Whereas, you know, I'm sure if it gets to a point with us, there's the chance of a booty call, which is just a spontaneous, you know, night of sex. Or there's a chance at least of getting a barbecue and having a piece of steak, except in Singapore. Yeah, maybe a piece of chicken. A piece of chicken. A piece of noodle. So that's the... It just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? Come around on Sunday, we're having laksa. We're having... No, not really. No. Although it depends on who makes the laksa. Yeah, but even still. I feel like I should make laksa now.

The other thing is, keep in mind, swinging world is pretty small small well the um the gentleman we just enjoyed in manila came well we had we we'd already been talking admittedly yeah but then he did have a recommendation from a couple that we were also talking to yes instantly i was like all right then yeah so and you know we always joke around and we say that single men in the lifestyle are the real unicorns and we hashtag them, hashtag manicorn. There's a reason for that. It's because we find them to be quite difficult to locate and discuss and they're not engaged, et cetera.

All the steps one through 12, it just doesn't occur.

So if you do find someone, generally we will mention it to it to other people in lifestyle we will be more inclined to invite you to events more inclined to start introducing you to our other lifestyle friends or in fact in one instance more inclined to bring you to a club where in fact single males are not allowed yeah but because you uh come along with a couple you are allowed to attend yeah yeah so that's why number step 12 to me is is so important yeah because it it almost guarantees you an engagement with uh the swinging community if you do it right yeah and you might want to follow up too i mean you, you may, as a single man, want to know how you did, want to know what pointers they might have, want to know all of those things.

Especially if it's your first few times around. And you might be excited to share that and say, wow, I really enjoyed this aspect of the play last night. I had no idea that would take place. You may have missed something from 1 through 11 and they're happy to give you that information you know once they're they've shared shared each other sexually you know that's there's a whole lot of things there whole lot of things i think step 12 is one of the most important steps right yeah i agree yeah and that. I'm done. That's just up. Your 12 steps. Yeah, the 12 steps of getting into C's pants.

Thank you. That was delightful. Certainly wearing a suit in your photos, that'll help. That's true. Well, again, it comes back to that standout. If there is any way for you to stand out from the crowd. As not being cock. You should be doing that. Yes. In everyday life as well. Yes, absolutely. So. Well, that's it thanks so do you have anything else you'd like i like it thanks for sharing it's relatively short and sweet i think but you know guys guys god damn it's easy it really is i don't think you know i'll look at the majority of couples we know in the lifestyle.

This is not, it's not going to be totally different when you converse with another couple. It really isn't. These are not, you know, absolutely amazing new ideas. What these are is how you would date if you were a single person. Yeah, dating a single lady. Or a single man, whatever the case may be. It's how you would be dating out there. So why would it be any different? Correct. Same rules apply. Correct. And it's important to remember. Yep, for sure. Treat it like a date. Treat it like a date. Yep. Okay. Treat it like courting, I suppose, because it's pre-date as well.

Depending on what it is. For us, it's this aspect, the social aspect, the getting to know you aspect, all the rest of it. If you are a couple who just like to have sex with a random or a fairly new person and then no more, different things apply. Maybe not so in-depth as what we just discussed, but certainly... I think it's still all there. Just in smaller, you know, you may be just sending cock shots because that's what you're interested in. Yeah, absolutely. Cool. Good points. Thanks. You may have noticed that there was no reference to send a cock shot in the entire conversation.

Not unless I ask for it. Correct. Only ever send a cock shot when asked. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Closing on that statement Bam Mic drop We're out Awesome Thanks for listening guys This is C And this is D And this is Swinging Down Under