Swinging Lifestyle + Hotwife Lifestyle Podcast - Wanderlust Swingers Podcast
The Swingers Lifestyle is often portrayed poorly in mainstream media and SwingTok can often be used as clickbait. After a recent SwingTok TikTok video went viral we received the attention of a number of news outlets around Europe and in the UK. This bonus episode is a behind the scenes recording of the interview with a UK journalist.
SwingTok
Is a term used by content creators on TikTok who are in the Swingers Lifestyle, 4 years ago when I started my first account we used #SwingerTok (with 412 million views) but that has since adapted to shortened #SwingTok (with a whopping 3.2 billion views)
This is VOL 3 of Swinging In The Media as we’ve recently been interviewed a number of times but this time is all about SwingTok and the impact it might have (positive or negative)
Get behind the scenes and listen in as we talk about the swinging lifestyle, SwingTok and do our best to portray it positivley and accurately. It’s not all rainbows and lollipops being a swinger after all.
Links & Swingers Events
RED Hot Party, Luton, UK February 25
Libertine Events Fantasy Portland, May 19-22
Cap D'Agde En Sicile, Italy September 13-17
Get yourself STi Tested and ED Medication at Shameless Care, use code Libretine for $30 off
Support us
Wanna help us out and support the show? We would love you to consider supporting us on Patreon from only $1 a month & you’ll get access to exclusive content and live podcasts. Join us www.patreon.com/swingingdownunder
Visit our website for videos, blogs, podcasts, newsletters and swinging lifestyle resources. https://www.swingingdownunder.com/
Love, Peace and Respect
C&D
We are a swinging lifestyle podcast, we talk about sex, being a hotwife and non-monogamy, please ensure you are of legal age to be listening to our sexy stories.
If you’re interested in learning more about the swinging and hotwifing lifestyle join us on our sexy swinger hotwife podcast. We share information our personal experiences and journey, swinger event, swinging dating sites, reviews for swingers resorts and more.
Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day and welcome to a bonus episode of the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. I hope that you guys are having a fantastic December so far and in the lead up to the holidays, if you're celebrating them, I hope that you're safe, healthy and happy. Today's bonus episode is going to be a recording of an interview that I conducted with a journalist in the UK. I actually had two interviews recently and they're on the same day, would you believe? Back-to-back interviews with two different journalists in the UK.
One was working for a women's magazine and a collective of women's magazines. She works with Women's Health and a few different magazines in that realm. And the other was focusing on the impact of social media and non-monogamy and specifically talking about TikTok. So they were both in the same day. The first one I was really excited about because I thought if I can get some information about non-monogamy into women's health, how fantastic would that be? And I turned up at the interview and I was a little bit disappointed with the journalist.
She wasn't a great interviewer, but that's neither here nor there. She was actually going to publish an article for me in a printed magazine in the United Kingdom. We actually turned it down. So what we found out is the magazine that she was going to print in, yes, was classified as a women's magazine, but But it was clickbait. It was one of those magazines where you see them in the supermarket. The title is like this person's sleeping with this person and then they stole their grandsons this and like, you know, the family are trying to go after the mansion and like blah.
It was just a clickbait magazine. And although it was in print, we turned it down. We turned it down because we decided it was going to be probably a poor representation of non-monogamy. Now, the interview questions really didn't lead themselves to being very positive about the lifestyle. She was trying to really go into like all the sex and tell me this.
and tell me that, rather than the things that I wanted to talk about, which was things like growing up as a female, growing up in an amount of shame about our sexuality, about sex in general, about masturbation, about all these things, asking for pleasure. That was the direction I wanted to take it in. She wasn't really too keen on that. But anyway, suffice to say, there was another interview. I'm not going to actually play it for you because I'm not too keen on it, to be fair. But it was going to go to print and we turned it down.
Now, the interview I'm going to play for you today was another journalist, quite a young journalist, in the UK and she's putting together this look at how social media may or may not impact non-monogamy and how people perceive non-monogamy out in the greater community. She was fantastic. I really thought that she did a great job. We spoke a lot about things like TikTok, a lot about social media, about the impact of that. And she had some really great questions to ask. So anyway, I thought that I would actually share it with you guys on the podcast today as a bonus episode.
So you could kind of hear what we spoke about. I don't know whether or not this interview has yet translated into an article. One of the other interviews we did a couple of months ago did translate to a number of articles around the world. This one, I don't know yet whether or not it's going to go anywhere. So I figured I'd just share it today on the podcast. So it's kind of a look into the behind the scenes, I guess, of some of these interviews, because if it did go to print, it would obviously be in print, not necessarily the interview that you see here today. So I thought I'd share it.
I hope that you enjoy this. I would love to hear from you what you thought about it, what you thought about the spin that I was trying to make towards the end of the interview where I start talking about how people might perceive non-monogamy but the added bonus and benefits from people seeing this content on social media. I'm keen to see whether or not you guys agree or disagree with me. Whether or not you agree that the maybe domino effect of some of the non-monogamous content creators being out there on social media may actually lead to other positive things not just non-monogamy.
So hit me up if you want to give me some feedback about that what your thoughts are about it. You can connect with us on Twitter, on Instagram, on our website, swingingdownunder.com or email me, email at wanderlustswingers.com. But otherwise, I hope that you enjoyed this bonus episode. We will be coming back very soon with a review of our week at Edenism. I know I promised that last time, but I thought I'd slip this bonus episode in because I thought it might have been really interesting kind of behind the scenes for you. I hope you guys are well and I'll be back soon.
So thank you so much for taking the time to chat to me, basically. I've just kept getting loads of Swing Talk content on my For You page.
I haven't written about it so far because obviously it's like huge even under the hashtag there's like 2 billion videos or something so it's like a huge community there so I basically just wanted to speak to a few people who are involved with it and how to make content about you know like I said in my email whether you think it's helped with any like stigma and why people start making content and what the kind of content you make like what the purpose is of it is I guess but yeah like I think I told you in the interview but the piece is for a new platform called Pleaser it's part of the Daily Dot which is like an American publication which kind of focuses on like digital culture and the internet but this platform is kind of all about like sex and very sex positive a lot of it is about like sex workers but it's generally just about exploring like what might be considered alternative lifestyles and general questions and you know things around sex it's quite varied I've not written for them before.
So they've only launched a few weeks ago, so I guess it's still quite new. But yeah, it's a cool platform. Yeah, that's cool. That sounds really great. Yeah. So to start, do you want to just tell me a little bit about you and kind of like why and when you started making content on TikTok? Yeah, so we've actually been making content for seven and a half years now about non-monogamy and alternative lifestyles because we were originally documenting our journey going from a monogamous to a non-monogamous couple.
And at the time, we were living in Australia and there were a couple of pod podcasts in America, but certainly none that were one kind of in our accent, right? You kind of vibe with your tribe, as they say. But then also what we were hearing from a lot of the American content creators was like, oh, there's a club on every second corner and like go to this amazing resort. It's only a two hour flight away. And we're down in Australia going, um, we don't have those things. So how does this relate? So seven and a half years ago, we launched our podcast.
And so we've been producing all this content for, you know, that that long basically and then producing and having a community on Twitter and on Instagram and really building up our community that way and then obviously a couple of years ago TikTok kind of exploded onto the scene and when it exploded onto the scene my husband who is much more tech savvy than I am and much more into the trends of tech than I am a couple of years ago when we're living in Singapore he's like hey you know there's this great new platform called TikTok like I really think we should get on it and at the time I was like I don't know another platform like I'm already doing the podcast and we do YouTube and we have Twitter and we have Instagram and we run our own events I was like oh this seems like a lot right and so I kind of I started it back then you know that was probably three years ago and I was like wishy-washy at best like I'd post something I didn't know what I was doing I had no concept of the platform whatsoever and a few times I got my account like probably over three years I think I'm on my fourth or fifth account now not as many as other swing top creators who have had you know, 10 or 20 accounts banned.
But really didn't know much about what I was doing. And I did lose an account that was around about the 60,000 followers. Now my current one, I think it's like about 35,000 followers. So I started to answer your question, I guess, a little bit more succinctly. We've been producing content for seven and a half years, but I recently, probably in the last 12 months, actually started taking TikTok a little bit more seriously in terms of its ability to reach larger audiences quickly. Yeah, I definitely...
want to ask you about the kind of like TikTok guidelines and restrictions because I know that's like a huge issue in terms of people who post about any kind of like relationships sex topics on TikTok yeah but just first I'd just be interested to know like what kind of people are involved in the community is it 10 people who are like more established in the swingers community or people who are like interested in it I think like TikTok's a really interesting one because obviously like all sorts of things land on your for you page even if you've not been interested in them before so I guess like you might have had a lot of people who are interested in it but not involved in it yet.
Yeah, that's exactly correct. So with the podcast, if you will, people who are going to seek out our podcast are going to seek out our podcast because maybe they've got some kind of interest in it. You know, you don't just kind of walk down the street and fall or stumble over our podcast. Like you have to be actively kind of seeking that information and type into your actual podcast catcher like swinging or hot wifing or non-monogamy, right? So the people that listen to our podcast, there's about 35,000 a month.
It people who are either in the community now or genuinely interested in learning more about it and whether that's with the potential to actually enter the non-monogamous lifestyle or not, you know, that really we don't know what kind of stats we get from our audience that way.
Whereas with TikTok, as you say, you quite literally get punched in the face with this kind of information on your for you page, right, because the analytics pick it up and people get intrigued by it and then they're like, okay, they'll engage with it either because because they're really angry about it or are curious about it or genuinely interested. So those are kind of the three ways that people engage with the content. So TikTok is very different in that regard. You know, where all of our other content, you kind of have to seek it out and be interested in learning more.
TikTok, I think it punches you in the face and that can either be a very positive thing for some people or a negative thing. So who's in the community on TikTok? There are a number of creators on the community in TikTok who are publishing this information. And some of these people may have been in the, what we call lifestyle or swinging lifestyle. may have been in this lifestyle for a month and start putting educational content out there on TikTok. And then there are people on there who have been in the lifestyle for five or seven something years like us.
Some people even longer than that, 10 years that are producing content as well. So it is a bit of a mixed bag in terms of where people are not only in their journey, but even themselves in an established relationship or having experiences in this lifestyle. And then of course you're pushing it out to then the general public.
And just to go back to what you said about the community from the podcast and stuff how were you kind of like connecting with other people who were involved um with the lifestyle before i mean but i'd be interested if you were involved in it like before the internet at all because i wonder how people connected um i'm not that old not before the internet was existed but you know before social media i guess became like um super widespread and like i guess podcasts are like a fairly new phenomenon but yeah um yeah i wonder like you know what is the main way that people tend to How did they connect before?
Yeah. Or even just do people connect locally or obviously you're meeting people from all over the world and travelling a lot. So if there are local communities as well as the bigger ones, people might connect online as well. Actually, so the TikTok side of things and that side of the social media community is minuscule in terms of the actual real swinging community. What you're seeing on TikTok is it's a very small percentage for starters who are either producing content or actual users on the platform. form who are legitimately in the lifestyle versus the actual wider spread community.
So just to give you an understanding, the size of the community around the world, one dating site that we use actually has over 3 million users on it. Just actual people engaged in the lifestyle, right? That's one. And around the world, there are hundreds of different types of dating sites that are specific to non-monogamy. And so that's how people connect is actually either through one of those dating sites, you know, you put your... It's like a normal dating site or there's even ones that are similar to Tinder, kind of swipe, swipe.
So you put your dating site information up there, you see somebody else's profile that you're interested in and you reach out and connect. That's one way. The other way is that you might go, if you do have them, to a swingers club. So dedicated lifestyle clubs that you can visit in your area and you can go and you can meet people that way. That's another way. And the third way is through parties and events.
Usually advertised either on the dating sites or maybe it's, you know, word of mouth if you've built your community up in your local area and And these can be anything from a house party, like somebody's hosting it at a house to a, maybe a meet and greet party. Like we, for example, in February next year, we're actually taking over a swingers club in Luton. So we've bought the entire club out for a weekend in February that we're going to be hosting there. So that's more of a, an organized event, if you know what I mean. So it's like a meet and greet, but it's more organized.
So that's another type of way that you meet people. And then the other way is through things like hotel takeovers or through going to a resort. So those are the main ways that, you actually meet people. The community on social media, although it's lovely and it's there and it serves a purpose and it's fantastic because you can connect with people around the world and you don't feel so alone, not a lot of people actually connect and then meet from social media. That's a fairly new thing and generally it's more around the content creators that are also making pornography.
Those are the people that might want to connect and meet up. It's very rare to find two maybe swingers who are in different locations and then they meet on Twitter or something and they're like, yeah, let's meet. You know, that's pretty rare. Most people would do it through a dating site. And so like, what was the kind of like idea behind making your content? Was that to promote your events or was it like generally just like promote awareness around it? What was, what, why was the reason you kind of started making content on social media? It's the same reason we started our podcast.
It was really, it was twofold. It was one because we were documenting our own journey and we wanted to put that information out there. And the second thing was that we were really building a community of people and trying to help other people that were in a similar space to us. That was kind of the original idea behind why we started the podcast. It was about our journey and then what we were going through and in the hope that that might help somebody else. Over the years, it's really adapted a lot, not only because we now travel a lot internationally, but we have interviewed people like Dr.
Justin Layne-Miller, who works for the Kinsey Institute, Dr. Jess O'Reilly. So highly educated professionals in the sexuality space have come onto the show as well, again, in a hope to educate people. So That's the reason we do it. And that's the reason we continue to do it. I mean, it really, truly is a labor of love. It takes a lot of time and you don't get a lot of, a lot back from it. So it is, it is a labor of love and that's why we, we still do it now. The TikTok side of things, it can be a little bit fun as well, you know, to create something and see, you know, I'm always intrigued.
Like, oh, I put something out there and I think, oh, this is going to be really fun, you know, and then nobody cares about it. And then I'll put something else out there and like, it'll go to, 2 million. It's so bizarre to me. I don't understand it. Yeah. I think it's quite frustrating to use for anyone who's like trying to get people to see their content because you just never know what kind of what's going to do well for you. I can't imagine somebody who's actually trying to run a business on there because like for me, like I said, it's not a money thing.
So to have my stuff, you know, sometimes I'll get 10,000 likes and views and then sometimes I'll get, like I said, like 2 million or 600,000 and there's no rhyme or reason to it. So if you're running a business, I imagine people out there would just be like, well, I'll see, I'll throw stuff at the wall and see what bloody sticks. Who knows? Yeah. I feel like it's really well engaged with compared to a lot of other creators on TikTok in terms of like most of your videos had a lot of views.
So do you feel like it's kind of the same people like coming back to obviously it's really hard to tell, but do you feel like it's the same people coming back to watch people every time? It's I mean, yeah, you're right. It is really hard to tell, but for me, I mean, I would say that they were, let's call them return customers for lack of a better term, the returning people are, I would imagine, quite a small percentage because like as you've experienced, you hit people's for you pages.
And it's at that point in time when things can get engaged with that you've never spoken to before or maybe they don't even follow you. So I would say it's actually quite a small percentage of people who out of the 35,000 people that follow us who are constantly engaging with us. Are there a handful? Yes. Do I know them by name? Yes, because that's how rare they are. But for...
for the broader stuff, like I will get people, I had some great comments actually yesterday or the day before on one of my videos, like three or four different people and they made some really good, valid points and it was really positive and I really enjoyed it and I've never seen their profiles before. So, you know, that was great. And the people who are coming back, are they also part of the lifestyle? Do you think like, I don't know if you know much about them or are they like interested in learning more? Most of the people that I see are actually in the lifestyle.
So they'll comment back and they'll say, here's my experience. You know, I might, I might put a video out about something. I had one recently where I was talking about swingers clubs and in swingers clubs, you can go into the playroom area, depending on the rules of the club and just watch it's called a voyeur. And I mentioned that in one of my videos and somebody was in there and they're like, well, but you know, it's not just a free for all. And that was a really valid point. You know, you've got 60 seconds.
It's really hard to explain in 60 seconds, like here's how everything works, but it was a really great valid point. And so they are clearly in the lifestyle because they knew that different clubs have different rules about being a voyeur in certain rooms. So that's an example where I, or just by the people's terminology and how they're engaging with me, I can instantly tell are they in a lifestyle or are they not?
And what like kind of responses have you had from people who are maybe like experiencing your videos for the first time or have you had any like, I'm sure you have, but have you had any like negative responses to your videos or like ones you wouldn't have expected, I guess? So responses can vary. You know, some of the really positive responses we've had can be anything from I didn't even know this existed, right? That's a nice one and it's quite positive really. I mean I look at that and I'm like thanks, that's positive. There's no negativity in that.
And it can also be other positive ones like oh yeah, we are in the lifestyle in this country or this location. And hey, you're talking about things that are either very similar to our experiences or very different. I think that's also really positive because it creates that discussion, you know, discussion topics around how we're all kind of going through our own little journeys on this. So those are really positive. Other people are positive. because they'll just say, hey, thanks for putting this out there. You know, we really appreciate that you're taking the time to do that.
All really great things. Has there been some negative things? Of course. I mean, it's TikTok. It can be a very toxic place at times. It can be very, very positive. But yes, there is some toxicity there, especially as you mentioned before, when you hit the For You page. And the reason that occurs, like I said, giving the analogy of the podcast versus TikTok, the podcast, you have to go seeking for it. You're going down a street and you make the decision to turn left. onto podcast street. You know what I mean?
The For You page on TikTok, that same analogy, you're walking down the street and literally someone smacks you in the face with Swing Talk content. So those are the differences. And when that happens, you can receive people at their face value, which is, you know what, I'm actually not interested in this content. Like thanks TikTok, but stop smacking me in the face with it. So that can have, you know, a negative response from some people. Some people just scroll on, but some people feel the need to come and comment on it.
And, you know, those are kind of comments where then maybe not so great yeah and are they do you think they tend to play judgmental comments like or kind of I feel like I've seen on a lot of the videos on swing talk in general people are really quite like judgy and you know see their opinions on like a specific situation or um an idea I guess yeah I mean it can be so to give you an example like I had a lady uh and you know what let me actually just read it it's probably easier let me go uh bear with me one second I'm just gonna open my tiktok app here um Sorry, I want to make you releve all the horrible negative comments.
Oh, you know what? No, it's totally fine. And the other thing, I mean, again, whilst these are negative, I still actually think it's quite positive because what I always say to people is that this is not for everybody. And I have never once said it is. And I, you know, when somebody comes on and they're like, you know what? You're disgusting. I'm like, look, fair point. It's not, it's not for you. And that's okay. You know, so I actually, I'm, I'm okay. I'm okay with it, but let me just go and see what this person said. Here we go.
Somebody said, that I am the devil at work and you're sick people with no morals. So that was a comment that I had 12 hours ago. And 10 hours ago, somebody else came and commented and said, oh, quit judging Karen. So those, you know, yes, you can get some people that are writing these types of comments. You know, they range from what I just said there, maybe like you've got no morals or some people say like, oh, you need a hazmat suit to clean up with or there's definitely a lot of STI stigma that happens. And that's just uneducation. And again, I've It's nothing to be angry about.
You know, I think some people can lead with kindness here when they respond. Some swing talk creators will kind of lash back out. I choose to lead with kindness and say, you know what, this person is uneducated or this is not for them. I've thrown it in their face maybe or whatever. You know, I mean, monogamy is not for everybody and neither is non-monogamy.
So I hope that helps you kind of to understand that whilst there is, you know, some negative viewpoints, I don't think that it's necessarily that person's fault because if you've been told for 30, 40, 50 years that monogamy is the only way and then all of a sudden you see a swing talk creator go, no, monogamy. And then it's like, well, hold on a second. No, you know, 50 years I've been told that this is the way. So you really can't get angry at those people. Definitely, yeah.
And I guess that's why, like, it's even more important to create educational content around it and that hopefully it keeps appearing on there for you, even if they might not like it first. And I'd just be interested to get your opinion generally on how you think, like, TikTok has been for you as a creator? Do you think like it's been a positive experience in terms of like destigmatizing especially and like how do you feel about the algorithm and the way it works?
Do you think it's helpful to like for that like throw in your face content to appear like you say or do you think it's better maybe on places like Instagram where you can like seek out content that suits you? Yeah, really great question, Alice. You know, and I it's something that my husband and I discuss often actually and I talk about this with my friends this whole for you page business. Yeah, Because on one hand, I think, oh, you know, maybe it's not so great if people are not necessarily wanting to seek this information out.
But on the other side, I think it is quite positive because it does open up a channel for discussion. And like I said before, whether that channel and discussion then progresses down into somebody looking further into this and then maybe, you know, dipping their toes in non-monogamy, that's yet to be really seen. But if it helps somebody out there to realise that there's not just one way to live life. There's actually a multitude of ways to live life. None of them are necessarily going to be perfect.
None of them are always going to work out for you and maybe you're going to have to go down a different path. But I do think overall it is quite positive because you're at least showing people that, hey, there are other ways to live. They go and maybe research a little bit more. They come back and they can either go, yeah, for me, it's great. It sounds interesting. Or they'll go, not for me, but thanks for kind of showing me and educating me. I mean, I feel the same.
I was looking on YouTube the other a day and I now know how fireworks operate purely because while I was on YouTube, it was like, hey, you might be interested in how fireworks operate. And I was like, you know what? Yeah, yeah, I actually fucking am. So and then I went and watched the video and then I was like, yep, I know, I now know. So there you go, Alice, if you want to know how to make fireworks, I'm your girl. I think, you know, having that and then having the opportunity to go and further look is quite good.
When I was growing up, we didn't really have, I didn't know this even existed, you know, kind of 10 years ago. And so having these discussions and then even around things like sexuality and identity are really, really important. And let's take away the swinging side of things for a moment. Let's just set that aside. We also talk about things like consent. We talk about things like STIs and protection. And we talk about things like sexual identity and things of that nature. So in those ways, I hope that it is much broader than, hey, there's a swinging account that just talks about swinging.
I hope somebody sees this out there and goes, oh, consent is really interesting. And I don't really know a lot about it. I'm going to go and educate myself even as a young person to then realize, hey, maybe the way my partner or other people are treating me is maybe not where it should be. And I'm going to educate myself and then I'm going to stand up and I'm going to use my voice. So I hope that there are more positives to it than just the non-monogamy side, if that makes sense. Yeah, definitely. And I'll step off my soapbox now, Alice. Sorry about the long-winded response. Oh, it is.
Super interesting. But I wanted to ask you as well in terms of like you said before about getting accounts deleted and What are the guidelines and restrictions in terms of posted about swinging? Is there any like, because I know a lot of like sex educators and sex workers on TikTok kind of use specific terminology to get around the restrictions that TikTok have in place. And I was wondering if you have to use any of that or if there's anything like, or if you know, for example, what video in the past has led your account to be deleted. Yeah, it was actually funny.
So let me talk about the terms of service side and let me talk about what can happen with the four year page after that. So terms of service are pretty black and white in terms of what they accept and adult content is against the terms of service. And that includes, like you just mentioned there, sex educator. We have a sex educator friend, a sexy doctor, very well known. And she was showing people a condom on TikTok and please don't open it with your teeth was the video, you know, don't open it with your teeth. And so she was making a video about that and her account got banned and deleted.
And that was just for educational content. It wasn't anything salacious. It was just Hey, people out there, like this is a highly educated doctor saying, please don't open a condom with your teeth. And it got taken down and her account got banned. So there are guidelines around adult content, but breaching them or not breaching them is a whole gray area. So whilst the guideline, black and white, how they enforce it, God knows because it is just so gray. I had a video there, and this is where I'll talk about the For You page.
When a video is on a For You page and you get that visceral response from some people, either positive or negative, if it's a negative response, that person can reprise. report your content or your account. Once you get enough reports, so in other words, if you've pissed enough people off and you get enough reports, then TikTok, of course, they're going to go, hold on a second, something's going on with this account. They'll start pulling your videos or pulling your content down or shutting your account down. So getting on the For You page has its negatives and its positives.
Positives are that more eyeballs see it. Maybe you're going to find somebody out there who's unsure about their sexuality and you're going to help them. Bloody awesome, right? Or you're going to find somebody out there, you're going to piss them off and they're going to mass report your account. Those are... the positives and negatives of hitting the for you page. So I had one that wasn't even, I was actually wearing a turtleneck. So there was no skin showing.
I had a fucking turtleneck on all the way up to my chin, long sleeves, and my account got pulled down for sexual, like adult sexual content. And I did actually go back and say, hey, I think you've made a mistake. So you can appeal certain things. So I went back and I said, hey, there's no sexual content in this. I'm actually, I think I was making a cup of tea. I'm in a turtleneck. Like I don't understand how this has been marked as sexual content. And they actually did reinstate the video and my account, you know, because they said, yep, you know what, we've actually made an error.
So there are, there are restrictions, there are guidelines when you post content. I don't tend to use any of the, um, I guess, trending words that people have come up with because I tend to also not sit down and say, Hey, you know, we did this, this and this, and therefore I wouldn't need to have these other words. Um, that's not some of the content that I generally tend to post. Um, I also don't sell porn or anything like that on TikTok.
A lot of other creators do and so therefore they need words surround, like you mentioned sex workers as well, they need words surrounding or to be able to push their content out there. It's not going to get flagged. So I don't tend to use those words because I just don't need to. If I had a piece of content out there that I really thought was going to be valuable and push it out there, would I try to use those words? Maybe. But it's not something that I have that I use like on a regular basis. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Well, that's good to know you can still kind of like post about the educational topics without like a touch with them being taken down without using any kind of modified words. Yeah. Again, it's a gray area. If anyone's going to be reading your article, that's going to start a TikTok and think it's not going to get taken down like a gray area. Yeah. I'm kind of impressed you got through to the TikTok customer service like at all because I know people who have like had their stuff taken down in the past have just had like radio silence. So I'm quite actually impressed with that from TikTok.
Maybe they're trying to like up their customer service, which has been notoriously bad in the past. Yeah, we've had a lot of accounts. A lot of friends lose their accounts with really large followers. And actually, I think that was one of our accounts. Actually, I actually misspoke earlier. My theory is that once you hit around the 80,000 followers plus, that's when you really come under scrutiny. So sometimes it's actually better being a smaller creator because, again, less eyeballs, less for you pages, less scrutiny involved.
Once you start hitting those 80,000 plus followers, I think you really need to be careful with the kind of content that you're putting out there. Well, I think that's one of my questions. I was interested to know, like, what apps you use and recommend for swinging. I know, like, Fields are really popular in the UK for non-monogamous relationships, but I'd just be curious to know, like, the bigger ones that you use or if there are any specific ones for swinging.
So, in the UK, the biggest one is actually called fabswingers.com, F-A-B, fabswingers.com, which is quite funny because I know quite a few of our British friends love saying fab, so I guess that's why they called it that but that's the biggest in the uk that's a website so fabswingers.com there's another one here that was actually originally started in the netherlands it's called sdc.com and they're now global so they're all around europe they're actually in certain parts of the united states and they are down in asia pacific that's the one with over three million users so that's a really big one here in europe as well you've got another one called spicymatch.com that's another big one here and then over in the u.s you've got ones like cassidy.com sls.com there's There's quite a few ones in Canada.
There's one down in Australia called redhotpie.com. You know, so they are very geographically driven. So when somebody says to me, and I get this question so often on TikTok, Alice, let me tell you, I get two questions on TikTok just almost on the daily. One is how can we find swingers clubs in our area? And I swear to God, people don't understand that Google exists. If you literally put swingers club London, you're going to find a swingers club, right? That's one thing I get. And the other one is like how do we meet people? And I always have to say to people, well, where do you live?
Which sounds super creepy on a social media app. Like, well, where do you live, baby? But it's not about that. It's about the fact that all of these apps and websites are so geographically targeted that if I gave somebody in, say, Idaho in the United States, fabswingers.com, they're not going to find anybody. You know what I mean? That's for the UK. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, actually. But I guess with, like, the Googling thing, I guess people feel like they, like, know you or, like, trust you from seeing you on TikTok and maybe they trust your recommendations more than a Google search.
Yeah. It could be all sorts of things on there. Yeah, it is funny because I get really obscure. Like I'm an Aussie living in Europe and don't get me wrong, I mean I host big events in the US so I'm travelling there quite often. But I'll get somebody in like, hey, we're in like Nebraska and which club do you recommend in Nebraska? And I'm like, yeah, you're right. Like I will literally be like, okay, well I'll go on Google I guess. But you're probably right, Alice. They're probably like, oh, here's somebody. And I'm like, guys, I do not know everything.
I'm not the encyclopedia of swinging lifestyle. Like thanks for coming by, but I'm going to have to go and Google myself or maybe ask some other friends as well. So it is quite funny. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Well, I think that's all my questions unless there was anything else that you wanted to like chat about or cover. Not really. I think, I think that's really interesting about, about the, I guess the, the TikTok and the swing talk phenomenon.
It's only been out really, really growing in the past, in the past maybe a year to a year and a half really has it started kind of taken off on the app with a lot of content creators coming out now. So, I mean, if anything, you could say that it has been quite positive in that regard because there are more people now that have even themselves started producing content on there that, you know, they say like a year ago we didn't know about this and then we saw it on TikToks and now we're going to, you know, talk about it. So clearly, you know, it is reaching some people that are interested.
You know, when we spoke about the four-year page earlier, clearly it is working in that way, you know, helping other people to see that there are alternative ways to live because those people are now, you know, content creating on TikTok as well. So one can only hope, you know, that you're out there helping people. Yeah, definitely. And in the seven years that obviously you've been doing your podcasts and stuff, do you think like the Swing and Lifestyle has become like more well-known and more well-accepted or even with TikTok last year, have you noticed any changes or? It is. Not really.
No, Alice, it absolutely has been. It has been such a change. I have to, honestly, like in the last, I think three years, we've noticed swinging and alternative relationships and under the non-monogamous brawlh So that can be things like polyamory as well. We've really noticed that mainstream media are talking more about it. Obviously, that's why you're interested in talking about it. But even if you look at Cosmopolitan, I swear maybe five or six times a year at least are talking about alternative and non-monogamous relationships.
You know, men's health, women's health, all of these massive publications are now in mainstream media talking about the swingers' lifestyle. And they weren't doing that seven and a half years ago. If anything, seven and a half years ago, it was used as like this nasty conversation clickbait, look how disgusting these people are, instead of what we're seeing coming out now, which is like maybe five ways to talk to your partner about exploring things in your bedroom. Those kinds of really positive changes in the media has been what we've noticed and I'm super excited about it.
So where it's going to go from here in the next one to two years, hopefully that trajectory will keep going and it will be further normalised as an alternative and potential option for people out there. Again, not the be-all and end-all, but as something to maybe consider talking about or exploring. Amazing. Well, that's really good to hear. Nice positive note to end on. Yeah, absolutely. Well, if there is anyone else, any creators on TikTok you'd recommend me speaking to, let me know because, yeah, I have got in touch with quite a few people but I haven't heard back from a lot.
So if there's anyone who you think might be up for it, I'd really appreciate if you could send that out TikToks overall. Yeah, I will. Let me talk to two people to see whether or not they're interested and then I'll drop you an email and we can connect with them that way. Thank you so much. Really nice to speak to you. Thanks, Alice. You have a great day. I'll send you a link and articles out. I don't know when it'll be. I think it'll be in December, but because I'm freelance, I kind of file it, which will be next week. And then I never quite know when it goes live, but probably December.
Yeah, no problems at all. And if you do want to come to a party in Luton, you are absolutely more than welcome to. Thank you so much. I'll let you know. Okay. You have a good day. Bye. Thanks. Bye. Bye. you
