Why is it that Swinging Women have no type? Why are women so picky when it comes to choosing partners to swing / swap with?
Swinging Women Have No Type
It is extremely hard to be the right kind of wing person for your significant other when you don’t know their TYPE. Do women actually have a type or is it really all in the personality, in today’s episode we’re going to explore if men and women have a type, what you said about your type and then share OUR types.
We share our personal types, the types you told us you have and finish off with a little task for you to complete.
Firstly we get into some cultural tid bits for Paris and then share our review of the Paris Swingers club we attended Le Mask and why we chose to visit that over the Paris Swinger Club Les Chandelles
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts, Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories, as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people, and of course, our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome to episode 137, Why Women Have No Type. Yes, it is a clickbait title. It is a clickbait title, I'm not going to lie. On today's episode, we are going to be discussing about the fact that it's extremely difficult to be the right kind of wing person for your significant other when you really don't know what their type is. Do women actually have a type or is it really all in the personality, as a lot of women say, right? It's about the personality for them.
So in today's episode, we're going to explore if men and women have a type, what you said about your type, and then we're going to share our type. But before we get onto that, Daryl, cultural tidbit. I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. I'm actually a little bit excited about this one. You always are about all of them. That's actually true. I did my cultural tidbit on Paris because we are also going to talk a little bit about the club we visited in Paris because we haven't done a review on that yet. And we just want to give you some information. So my cultural tidbit is about Paris.
By 1810, Paris alone had 180 officially approved brothels. By law, they had to be run by women, typically a former prostitute, and their external appearance had to be discreet. Did you know that? No. Back in the day, brothels had to be run by women in Paris. Back in the day. What do you think? I think it's a little bit sexist. You do? Yeah, I mean, what if a gigolo wants to run his own brothel? To be fair, though, back in 1810, do you think women really had a lot of rights and opportunities in business in general? In France? No idea. I'd have to look it up. You'd have to look it up?
Yeah, because many countries, you know, women did have quite a lot of rights in that era, but I don't know about France. In 1810? Could have. All right. Could have. You just never know. You need to look it up. I have a couple more cultural tidbits because... You said only one. Yeah, no, I lied.
waste them i lied though okay it is illegal to kiss whilst the train is at the platform in in france in paris because years ago too many people and then many years ago people just fucking holding up people were holding up the trains yeah and like kissing out the window and on the platform so there was a there was a law pass that prohibits anybody from kissing on the platform on the platform because of that they wouldn't want to hold up the train ludicrous timetables all right they mean something to people in paris i i have i have one more thing city of love i have one more thing i want to share it's train related it's not sex related you love a bit of train work don't you but i thought it was pretty funny okay are you ready yes it is illegal to carry live snails on a French high-speed train unless they have a ticket.
Well, I'm not surprised. You're not surprised by the fact that the snails are prohibited on a high-speed train but they can go on the regional overland ones? No. I'm just actually thinking about if you're a snail, right, and then you're a... Had your house on your back. Of course. I mean, where else would you put it? I'm just saying. And then all of a sudden, you're traveling at 400 kilometers an hour. I mean, you're likely going to need to use the restroom facilities because you're going to shit yourself. So with that in mind- They need a ticket. They need a ticket so that they can- Pay.
Yeah, pay for the restroom facilities. Okay. I mean, snails are notoriously fucking slow, right? I mean, that's what they're known for and their house. Slow and house. Right. So, yeah, put them on a high-speed train. Put them on a high-speed train? Going to soil themselves. No good. No. Their house doesn't have a toilet built into it either. Did you know that? Snails' houses, they have like a little outhouse. Never really thought about it. Yeah, they don't have anywhere to poo in their own house. It's unfortunate. I think it's just pretty poorly designed. It is a little bit. Yeah.
Get your shit together, snails. So, so on our way down to cup dog in france and you would have heard us talking about cup dog in the last two episodes but we stopped in paris for a few days and we went to a club in paris we did we looked up the various clubs a lot of people when they if you google swingers clubs in paris you're going to crumb across one i think it's called le chandelier or something like That's probably the most prevalent one that people talk about.
And the reason they talk about it is because they do food there and they say go and get the food early, which I'm not a big fan of foods that Swingers Clubs never have been, will continue not to be. So we didn't go there. Glad we summed that up. Instead, we looked on the Google reviews and decided that recently that club had- Slid downhill. Slid downhill and had some pretty shitty Google reviews.
So we decided to go to a new club or fairly new clubs called la mask la mask i wonder what la mask means what does it mean daryl can you translate that for everybody at home no okay too difficult to translate it's impossible i don't think there is a direct translation for la mask look it was in the city center so really really close and it was about 80 euro to get in is that about right by memory about 80 euro sounds about right the drinks however were 20 euro 80 euro each were 20 euro each for a glass of wine which is insane it was less than ideal especially given you're a booze hag well we only had one one wine i know so but that's because you're a tight booze hag that's right i'm paying up 20 dollars20, 20 euro for a glass of wine.
It was expensive. It was. So I don't want to go too much into this particular club, but I want to give you guys an understanding of what the clubs are like in Europe and particularly what this one's like in Paris.
If you Google Paris Swingers Clubs, you're going to see a lot of information about how you have to be very well dressed how they are very picky and selective how they do not accept people that they deem to be shit inappropriate for the club so whether that's to do with your physical appearance whether it's to do with your monetary your socio-economic background that's generally the information that you'll get when you how do they get your socio-economic background by charging a lot of money.
So the assumption there is that if they charge a higher price, they're going to get a certain level of... Gotcha, gotcha. Right. So you'll hear about that. And one of the things that you'll read about is the fact that women in particular cannot wear pants or trousers. It doesn't matter if you're going to be rocking your latex really nice like pants and beautiful high heels. That doesn't matter. You can't do that. You're going to wear a dress. Yeah. Have to wear a dress. Women have to wear a dress. Men must be in dress shoes, trousers, collared shirt. Yep. Right? The whole thing. Yes.
And that's true. That's true to form. Like, they will actually stop you from going in. So, when we walked into this place, one of the things I really liked was the scent. Do you remember that? No, I don't. Was it aromified? No, they had a lot of scent being pumped into the room and the area, which... So they aromified it? Yeah. I don't think I've actually experienced that at a swing club before. No, me neither. Generally, it's just the smell of sex. And feet. And bad dreams. Broken dreams. Broken dreams. Lost hopes. No, they pumped in this beautiful scent.
And so when you walk in the door and they have these beautiful velvet curtains there... See, that were paying that's what you were paying for you paying for the scent to be pumped in it added a nicety to the atmosphere i thought a level of what i mean depends on whether you're into the scent really if it was a shit scent yeah i don't mean literally the smell of shit but just more if it was like lavender and and lavender reminds you of your grandmother's clothing drawer. Or if it was peanut and you're allergic to peanuts, for example. Yeah. That would be bad. So they had the scent pumped in.
Other things of note, they had a massive candy bar there, which I thought was a little bit strange, but. Oh, but good lollies. Good lollies. We took some home. Well, I took some home. I was going to say, I didn't partake in that. No, you didn't get any. I did see a couple of women actually going to town. Yeah, a few people who went to town. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't surprised. That was pretty good and was like really nicely set up. The other things about this club that I really liked was the layout of the peephole slash viewing hole area. Can you kind of break it down what that was like?
Yes, it was.
I you had, the best way to put it is like booths around the outside of the area, and then with big walls in between some of the booths, and then they had holes in them that allowed you to potentially crawl through or walk through, not walk through, but crawl through to somebody else's booth, and, you know, or you could watch what they were doing in their booth as well it was interesting did you like that layout i thought it was reasonably cool i think it's got its potential for for downside but it's also got its potential for up the downside is you still are somewhat divided so it may stop people from chatting getting involved as much but there's also a little bit of privacy pseudo privacy if you want to start doing some shit right there i absolutely agree i thought that i think that if you had a bigger bigger space bigger club it and you had a better open room for you know some of that easier networking kind of talking to people you could do that at the bar though really if you wanted to i didn't think there was a big enough space to be honest.
The bar was a whole space to itself before you went into that room. Remember? Yeah, I remember. I didn't think there was enough space there to, if you're going to try and do that. You could eat the candy whilst drinking a wine at the bar space. Yeah, but I liked it. I think it added an element of, again, a central atmosphere.
I think it also added that area where you could play with people and have a little bit of privacy, but if you are an exhibitionist you can have that aspect of it too and again if you're going there because you're a voyeur that's good for you as well so i thought it was pretty good pretty pretty well designed i wouldn't mind seeing that in some of the clubs some of the bigger clubs i would like to see kind of that sort of set up in an area that'd be nice yeah but we'll see for when you own a club for when i for when i own yep and then downstairs had your usual thing kind of had the bed had the san andrews cross had the dungeon style overall what do you think about the club did you like it yeah i thought it was really quite cool what would you say were like the biggest pros and biggest cons of the club the biggest pros were that it was really quite a classy it felt quite classy like a classy environment sexy although the drinks were expensive they were also made by a proper like a bartender or a can't really go wrong with pouring wine into a glass though in my opinion you're talking about wine i was drinking cocktails because you know so i was drinking cocktails because there wasn't else anything else on the list that i was really into and you know they had a real person making proper cocktails they weren't just somebody throwing spirits or liquor into a glass and calling it a cocktail they actually tasted right so i think that was a pretty big upside downside the only thing's probably it's small but that's not really a surprise given it's in the center of paris.
Yeah, I mean, it's a very expensive piece of property right there. Yeah. Yeah. So I think overall we spent about 160 because we had… I don't remember. Yeah, 160 euros. What do you think about the downstairs dungeon area? Do you think that was a positive to have that little, like, downstairs area? I think it was good.
My only con about that sort of situation is that you've got no idea how many people are down there who's down there and what action's down there until you go down there yeah i think that might be a turn on for a lot of people yeah you think so yeah so what's the con of the club for you then uh the size the size yeah okay it's small i mean if you had a hundred people in there you'd all be touching each other yeah Yeah, that's true. Would you go back? I would. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I thought it was. It's small. I mean, if you had 100 people in there, you'd all be touching each other.
Yeah, that's true. Would you go back? I would. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I thought it was – it's absolutely worthwhile going back to. I don't know. Were we in the right frame of mind to be there that night? Probably not. I don't think so. I think we were heading down to Carp d'Arg. I think that we were tired. We didn't get there until I think 11.30 at night or midnight. Yeah, it was late. Very late.
very late and i think you had to work the next day if i'm not wrong yep so i think all of those things were probably not great and then of course there is a language barrier that you've got to come up against as well i don't think that was a problem in there that because we didn't talk to anyone so did we we didn't actually talk to anyone from my memory no i don't think we did either so how's the language barrier problem language barrier problem? True.
All right, guys, let me take a quick break and then we're going to come back and we're going to start talking about your type, my type, everyone's type. Okay. Tippity, type, type. Tippity, type, type. All right, welcome back. So are women actually really picky or are we just not allowed to like someone? Yeah, you're giving me the... I don't understand. Confused look on your face, right? Exactly. So, when you're growing up or when you're watching movies or reading newspapers, who reads newspapers? I don't...
When you're reading magazines, you know there's the old adage of like bad boys, you can't take a bad boy home to mummy kind of thing, right?
And like women like the bad boys, but they want to settle for the good men because they're the ones that you marry what's that old no idea no you're telling the story bro i've been pondering this for a while whether or not women are picky whether or not women you know a lot of women they say like we don't have i don't have a type i don't know what i like i don't have a type it's all about the personality it's about the humor it's about the guy in the night i really can't give you a description about what I'm chasing.
And oftentimes the partner is a bit confused because they're like, well, she's sleeping with all these different kinds of people. How the hell am I supposed to pick somebody who I think that she might be interested in? And especially when a lot of the time the men are the kind of the first initial point or the gatekeepers on the dating sites.
So if you're a guy and you've no idea what your partner looks for in a man or partner, how the hell are you supposed to find somebody on a dating site that you think they may or may not be interested in you just use the shotgun effect that's that's basically what everyone does i would think yeah that's what you think a lot of people just go okay i'm gonna reach 50 people and she might like one of them so i'm gonna go on 50 dates and then yeah you think people do that i don't i i really don't i think that when people when guys are out there looking at profiles they are trying to ascertain whether or not their partner is going to be interested in the opposite sex of the other couple okay yeah i know you're doing things a little bit differently because we went on a blind date the other night and two yeah well one because somebody ghosted us or didn't ghost us they just didn't turn up enough, I've been pondering this for a while, trying to figure out whether women really do have a type, whether we say personality matters what.
And I was reading some information in the American Psychological Association in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Jeez. It's the first and last time our podcast is ever going to include something like that. And they said in there that the hormones are a driving force into why women are attracted to certain types of men, especially bad boys. And when women are ovulating, they're more likely to be drawn to sexually attractive qualities such as specific facial features and dominant behaviours. This sounds like it was written by men. You reckon? Yeah.
It sounds very much like it was written by men. Interesting. it sounds very much like it was written by men interesting don't trust a paper that's written about women by men okay that's that's like a rule it's mansplaining he's yeah this is mansplaining hormonal cycles and women this is too dangerous for me to talk about i don't want to be mansplaining anything fine can't still fucking string me up they talk about the traits that you'd lust versus the ones that you love. And this kind of comes back to what I was saying before about the fact that women apparently will date the bad boy.
Is this a fucking peer-reviewed paper? Where did you get to? The American Psychological Association's Journal of. No, that's a peer-reviewed paper. I'm blown away. I'm blown away that somebody got paid for this. Fuck. Fair enough. Fair enough. So if I was to ask you if you could pick my type, could you? Could you pick my type? And what percentage of times do you think you could pick my type? I think I could pick 100% of the time that they're at least human. Okay. That's about as deep as I can get though. Yeah?
Yeah, because, you know, there's guys that i've seen that look what i would have thought physically attractive and facially attractive and then i'm like what do you think of this guy and you're like he's hideous and then there's other guys that i've shown you that are like you know i would have thought i reasonably average and you're like oh my god he's fucking stunning i think it doesn't who fucking knows like i said 100 accuracy on whether they're human so you think if you were to pick a person for me it would depend on which way the wind is blowing on that particular day and oh yeah and just in in what mood you are with me if you don't like you know if you're not happy with me on that particular day and i find a dude that it wouldn't matter oh really it could be a Grecan god and you would look at him and go, meh, he's all right.
Just to be like, fuck you, Daryl. Fuck you, Daryl. Fuck you. Right. I would argue that women do have a type. I would argue that. You don't have a type. Interesting that you say that because after, I'm going to share your types, ladies and gentlemen. I received some feedback, some responses, because I did put this question out there. And then we're going to take a break and then I'm going to tell you exactly my type at this very moment in time and what I believe my type is for both men and women. Yeah, but today's date is just one day. No, I've been thinking about this for about three weeks.
Oh, really? Yeah, so it's held fast. Until, I don't know, reading that paper until your menstrual cycle happens or something. Let's just manspine that for a minute. All right, here we go. So I'm going to read your responses. So I asked. Not your responses, their responses. Oh. You, dear listener, your responses. Okay, the listener's responses. Yeah, the listener's responses. Stop saying my responses. I asked a question about whether or not you knew your type and whether or not you knew your partner's type. So these are the answers. Like I said, 100% accuracy on whether they're human. Okay.
Power Cubel, they said, I can with confidence pick out the perfect fit for my husband 10 out of 10 times. Obviously there's a lady responding. He wouldn't dare pick for me since he apparently thinks I'm ridiculously picky. 1 out of 10, him being the one. I do have a weird thing. Even I surprise myself with what gets me going at times. Or suddenly big nose. So that's from a lady. So, you know. So if you're her husband, how the hell are you supposed to be the person navigating the dating sites setting up dates? Could you pick my type? We'll get there. We're doing our types later.
That's what I'm asking you. You asked me already whether you could. Yeah, I think I can. Yeah, exactly. Said every woman ever. All right, here we go. VTMum1313. I agree. I, exactly. Said every woman ever. All right, here we go. VTMum1313. I can pick out his type very easily. Kind of like another lady said on here, breathing. Oh, dude. Savage. Oh man, that was like a pimp hand. But more seriously, in his case, it's about personality more than a look. I've arranged a few playdates that turned out very well. On the other hand, God helped me when he's picking for me.
He doesn't think of himself as sexy, which he is, and so he judges all guys on what looks different from him. Even though I keep explaining, he's hot as hell and he's my type. At least he has learned to never fix me up with a kid younger than my own sons. Yeah, that ended on like a bit of a downward spiral there. Oh, I don't know. That's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, once again, though, woman, no chance, man. Cool. Yeah, I know you've got them lined up. You were waiting to stitch me up on this. Go, this one. I'm not stitching you up. Yeah, you are. I'm not, though.
After Colorado, kind of kind of similar responses we actually play a game in public and we'll guess if one of us would fuck someone who is in the grocery store gym or whatever we do this too i never win it's the only game i win it yeah we use code phrases what's the code i wonder i'm totally gonna fuck that person code whilst there are characteristics we both tend towards most of us have hooked up with a number of people who are none of these things. Personality really does go a long way. Mrs. AC likes hair, but has had a lot of success with bald men. Mr.
AC used to think blondes didn't like him, and then a party he hooked up with one. So we have types. We both know them, and we both know there's fun going outside your comfort zone.
So they're trying to expand their comfort zones a little see i wasn't stitching you up stitch me up i didn't okay the hardleys after 15 years of enjoying the lifestyle together good job guys i still don't have a good handle on sweetie's type except for being male personally seems to be her favorite indicator sorry personality i figured personality seems to be her favorite indicator with a healthy dose of fun outlook on life hmm okay you see see what i'm saying yeah yeah absolutely because it's really easy to pick a healthy outlook on life by a dating profile this is what i'm talking about i feel like i feel like just generally guys are stitched up because if most of the guys and i think the last time i did a poll on this it was about 80 of the men were the people who were manning the dating site profiles or the apps or whatever doing that initial yeah that's because if the ladies were manning it or womaning it you just wouldn't get any dates you wouldn't get any dates no because oh they're oh i read their profile i read their profile and um they use the word and too much yeah we're not going to go out with them I'm not going to do that anymore right oh I read their profile and they use the word and too much.
We're not going to go out with them. We're not going to do that anymore. Right. Oh, I read their profile. They look too attractive for us. I read their profile. It was too long. Too short. I read their profile. It was too short. Exactly. Not grammatically correct. Oh, did you see they left out the comma before the end?
I mean, not an oxford couple yeah so this next one is from abq2 phx and they're from chandler in arizona cool name yes i can identify her type in eight out of ten times this guy's pretty confident as tequila said below there are always outliers like all of us it starts in the shallow end of the Is he attractive? Think Sean Connery to mid to later years. How is he dressed? Does he throw on just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt or did he actually take time to dress for success? Tall is better but yes the outliers show up occasionally. Then the most important part does he engage?
If the gentleman is talking to her but scanning the room it's a fail.
Right that's actually a decent thing that they're talking about being a club right now me yes she knows my type i am a man after all so i am pretty easy i think we're stereotyping a bit here why is that a stereotype i'll get there in a second personality over a particular body type low cut top is a huge bonus heels over flats confidence over coy my biggest tell like long dark curly hair the whole wing person part because i asked about this okay so how are you supposed to be a wing person for somebody if you're at a club or whatever like i said dating site probably something we've not perfected when her tell is obvious i tend to give him or her some privacy and allow them to engage why do i think it's a bit of a stereotype i actually discussed this a similar thing to this recently on the podcast episode where I was interviewing the monogamous marriage because we were talking about orgasming and how when people talk about orgasms, they generally tend to say, oh, you know, guys can orgasm all the time and so goddamn easy and women are like a puzzle piece and it's really, really difficult.
I think in this circumstance, we also do that with men and women here where we say women are super picky and, oh, guys, you know, she's breathing and she's human. Don't you think that's a bit of a... A stereotype. Don't you think that's a bit of a stereotype? It is, but I just don't think the context was in that particular line that you read. Yes, it is a stereotype, of course. That's totally not the case in all cases, which rightfully places it as a stereotype. I think many men have things that are absolute no-goes for them, which includes me.
I have things as well that I would absolutely not be interested in somebody if they fit X. And I'm not going to tell you what that is. Oh, really? Yeah. You suck. All right. Let's hear from this one. So this is QE 2013. They're from Honolulu. We've actually mentioned them a few times in our podcast over the years. So g'day, guys. I'm terrible at identifying my wife's type by any objective measures. It's taken us quite a few years to fully realize this reality. But now that we're here, the onus for connecting has fallen more squarely on her shoulders, online and in person.
I will routinely identify people that seem to fit what I think she would like, only to have them quickly dismissed. As she has taken more of an active role in the hunting and gathering, our success ratio has improved dramatically. At an in-person event, all it takes for her to whisper is a yes to me whilst looking or interacting with someone, and my wingman skills kick into gear.
The best way I can sum up her type would be situational yeah more commonly known as nightmarish well but in their in their circumstances they've they've flipped the scripts a little bit they've now she's looking after all the sites yeah well i i would again i would happily let you do that or happily have you do that but let is not obviously not the right word i would happily have you do that. But we simply wouldn't date anyone. I think over the years we've bounced backwards and forwards. Like if we think about the start of our journey and over the years we've kind of changed roles.
Let's think about how many times you've set up a date in the last two years. Oh, recently? No, because I think it just got to the point where I was so disheartened by the whole situation. I am also disheartened. That, you know, you just eventually go, stuff it, you know. All right, let's hear from one more. No, two more. Midlifers, GDX. Him, his major turn on his women who need help in some way, whether they don't know how beautiful they are or sexy they are or they need to be pampered, whatever that situation may be. Physical attributes usually just enhance the desires from there. Her.
Bad boys usually do not make the cut. Maybe she's not ovulating or whatever it said earlier. I'm glad you said that. I do not condone Kate's understanding of the ovulation versus bad boy. Hey, it's from the psychological journal. I understand. It's from the mansplaining book of mansplaining. Though she generally likes her playmates, her age or younger, Thank you. It's from the psychological journal. I understand. It's from the mansplaining book of mansplaining. Though she generally likes her playmates, her age or younger personality is the key and always givers over takers.
Humor, sarcasm, mystery, confidence are all pulses. Cool. Again, difficult to figure that out at a club situation or at a dating site. Okay, last one. Here we go. Sebastian and Nicole from Phoenix, Arizona.
I feel like my partner and i are completely different when it comes to type i care a lot missus i care a lot about personality connection rather than physical if you can make me laugh and exchange flirty banter it definitely piques my interest i think the only commonality amongst every single one of these is laughter or humor i was about to get to that yep for the ladies i may be more picky actually looking for a bombshell, very feminine. So she's actually bisexual. So that was interesting that she said the difference between the two and Mr.
He is a lot more set on the physical side, but it's not a really, it's not a bad thing. We're just wired differently. He loves petite women, et cetera, et cetera. So they go on to talk about their more specifics in there. But yeah, I think it is an interesting when you do read profiles and you see a lot of dating profiles where they've got the him and the her or what people are looking for, you'll find a lot of the time when it says her, it is definitely more about the ability to communicate really well, the ability to maintain eye contact.
And the next two things that always pop in there are humor and flirtiness. Confidence is the other one. Oh yes, confidence too. Why do you think that is though? Why do you think women look for those traits versus going for the trait for the physical? Okay, brace yourself for the emails on mansplaining. Why do I think that might be the case? I don't know.
Maybe some women, God, how can I make this any broader to stop me from getting emails there's perhaps a history where women are expected to find certain things attractive like personality doesn't do all women have to think that a man's got a great personality or can he just be hot and fuckable right like is is that a thing is that is it that so one of the reasons why i think this is so prevalent in women when they're looking for men i have been contemplating this recently and i don't think that we're you know we're told to see you know don't judge a book by its cover see more than what's just on the outside you got to look inside and see personality and i think as females as well we are judged so heavily on looks as we progress through our lifestyle that we don't want to do that.
We find it quite judgy. And so I think as a result of that, we believe or somehow feel, whether it's consciously or subconsciously, that by being too about the physical attraction, that we're shallow, that we're judging, that we're doing the wrong thing. And it feels almost like we shouldn't be doing that. And it feels bad to do that.
think that sometimes that's probably why we've got we've not even admitted it to ourselves or our partners that hey i want this exact type of person yeah so that that's my take on it i honestly think that we're not giving ourselves the space and that perhaps as we're growing up we're not allowed as women to think about the physical attributes we're not allowed to think about that because that's the wrong thing to do. Find a guy who's got a stable career. Find a guy who loves children. Find a guy who's going to be good to your parents.
Not find a guy that you think is really attractive and that you want to have sex with. Yeah, you could be right. Anything else to add before we get on to our... No, definitely not. No. I mean, we're way too far down the mansplaining course for me to get involved in this. Okay, well, here's a question. Why do you think that people just assume that men don't have standards, that men just would be happy with any woman? I suppose, you know, lines like any holds a goal and things like that might be something to do with that.
So I just said to you about upbringing in particular, that maybe it because we're told not judge a book by its cover. Do you think that on the flip side of that, when men are growing up, they're told like, yeah, go out and get some, like so hot, have all the sex, do all the things, like, yeah, go you. Do you think that then that's why? Definitely a part of it. It's that bragging rights of? Well, it's definitely a part of it for sure.. It is, yes. The answer is yes. That's definitely a part of it.
I don't know how much more I can give you other than that because each person's upbringing is quite different, I would imagine. I don't remember ever discussing, ever actually, now that I think about it, discussing women's types or what they look like with my father, or do I ever remember him actually talking about what he was interested in? Not ever. What about guys in university though? No, at university generally you've gone through the part where you're talking about, you know, it's generally high school in my experience, that's where you're talking about.
Her tits, her arse, her waist, her face. When these things are new, you know, like when you start to discover that your penis is more for more than useful for more than just pissing out of. Yeah. Yeah. So I think at that point is when you might discuss that, but I don't know that there's a grouping of things. It's just more, you know, she might have, again, nice tits or a nice butt or something like that.
Or I don't remember even people saying, I've heard people say that somebody's really pretty or beautiful or attractive, but I've, or hot, you know, but I've never heard anyone really say, you know, don't fuck the ugly chick or anything like that. You know, like I don't. Do you ever think that's just inferred? No, I don't. I think men generally will celebrate another man getting laid no matter who that person is. I don't think men are as judgy about that. I was about to say, do you think that women are afforded the same sort of non-judgmental view? I don't know because I am not a one. Yeah.
Maybe you should answer that. I don't know about the attraction side because, again, I think yes, a little bit, but, you know, going through the men that I've slept with pre-Daryl and my – Wait. You weren't a virgin when we got together? Definitely not. Back then and thinking about my friends' reactions to it, I don't think it was ever about the attraction. It was probably more about, oh, what does he do for work?
Making sure that, again, he has a successful career and he's on a good pathway and he makes decent money or something like that like it was never about i never recall the masking about physical ugly no i'm just saying i just don't remember them ever doing that i think it was definitely more on the oh what kind of car does he drive or what is this what is that really yeah i think so man i don't know bad friends i don't know what to tell you right let's take a quick break and let's come back and let's talk about our own types. I've never thought about what my type is. So, just making shit up.
So, we're back. Daryl just admitted that he's never thought about his type before. So, this is going to be an interesting segment. It may be interesting. It may be really fucking shit. Okay, I'm going to tell you my recent revelations about my type. Okay. Should I take notes? And again, this is just something that- And then next week when we come back to our next podcast, I can explain to everyone about how that type didn't work when I found that exact person online. I was just thinking about this recently and the reason this popped into my head was I realized I've been, I have. A judgy bitch.
So I can think of three men that I am very attracted to right now and I realised recently they all have very similar characteristics. Just as a side note, Kate's a monster. She just took two squeaky toys off Penny and put them on the desk.
Penny's just run outside to try and catch it and now she's back looking at kate it's podcast time not playtime monster okay here's my types for men this is not any surprise to you but tall oh yeah that's a real shock yeah uh tall lean so i'm really interested in older tall lean men right now right now right right now what's a date let's say because that's that's a like a one day thing yeah okay so i'm interested tall, lean men right now. What's a date? Let's see, because that's like a one-day thing. Yeah. Okay.
So I'm interested in tall, older, lean men who are successful, so very good communicators generally as well, and this is going to be really funny for you, but good table manners. Fucking hell. I know that's super specific, right right it's super fucking snobby is what it is well you're a fucking snob am i yeah tall lean successful and used a knife and fork appropriately that's the snobbiest list i've ever heard super snobby see this is exactly what happens when women talk about the facts that they that what the things that are interested in.
This kind of fucking judgment that's happening right now. This is why we don't talk up. This is why we don't speak up. We get this kind of bullshit judgment. Of course, of course. Right here. I mean, just drink your coffee with your little pinky out. It's okay. That's tea. You fucking animal. Coffee. Savage. You can do it with a coffee as well. So yeah. You can do it with a fucking raspberry sandwich if you want.
So that's my interest in men right now now right now that's right now why do you keep adding right now because uh because a type a type i feel the wind's changing outsides you feel you're you're changing the day of your menstrual journey yeah it might happen who knows and then i'm coming for the bad boy well you didn't state whether they're a bad boy or a good boy i didn't state that, no. Again, just older, tall, lean, successful. What's older than me? Older than what, 18? Older than me. I'm kind of thinking late 40s, mid to late 40s, early 50s. Okay. That's kind of where I'm at. Yeah.
But in good order. In good order. Yeah. What's good order mean? Like lean and muscular. So you're saying my nice little fat brown belly right now is not your deal i mean you wouldn't fit into that category wow that's where we're at is see what i'm talking about the judgment again can't say what you want because you get fucking judged for it yeah okay right yep okay and for females yeah this has been really interesting for you, I think, as well. I don't think I'll ever have the chance to choose you a female. Fuck no. You think choosing a man is hard for me. And actually- No. Let me correct you.
I think choosing a man for you is fucking impossible. Not hard. Yeah. I may as well just throw a shoe into the crowd. In one of the responses we read earlier, she spoke about her interest in women and that she's much more pickier for women. Pickier. And I have always said that about me. I've always said that generally for guys, I have been with all different kinds of guys. For women, I think I'm much more pickier, much more judgy. It's just picky. Pickier. No, it's just picky. You're picky. Pickier.
For somebody who needs a man to use a knife or fork correctly, I mean, you've got to work on that. Yeah, I don't think I do. Because this guy doesn't care that I say pickier. Okay. He doesn't care about it. It's in the list. Oh, really? Yeah. Good table manners, comma, doesn't care about Kate's use of vocabulary. Oh, somebody ate a thesaurus for breakfast. Okay, so here's my herd list. Okay, go for it. Here's the kind of woman that right now, as of today, the 11th of October at, I don't know, what is it, 8.30 p.m., this is the kind of woman that I'm interested in. Yep. She's fun.
It's changed already, hasn't already hasn't it okay she's fun she brings out the carefree version of me because there's an element of kate there's a subset of kate within the kate within the kate that really likes to be a little bit silly and fun and run around and be playful but it doesn't happen very often that's a subset yeah it's in there it's like to the left of my right rib. Gotcha. Yeah. Just above your hatred. So, no, that takes up a whole leg. So I want somebody who's going to bring out that carefree version of me.
I want her to be pretty and a little feminine but not too much because then I'll judge her. No, I'm just not interested in somebody that takes like two hours to get ready. I don't like it. Two hours is what it takes you to get ready. Nah. Nah, man. Yeah. So that's the kind of woman that I'm interested in right now. I think, again, and you know what's interesting about all this? The physical attributes? Average. Don't want them too short, too tall, too slender, too big. Average. Right across the board. That's what I'm looking for. So you want an average swinger? Badum tush. Badum tush.
That's my list. What do you think? Yeah. I mean, it's ridiculous, but I understand it all for now. Yeah. Three minutes from now. When I find Little Miss Average online and say, what do you think of this woman, Kate? You'll be like, nah, too short. So what are your types? Types. What's your type? My type. That's a good question. Thanks. I came up with it all on my own. So generally, I think somebody who's reasonably fashion conscious, so not – and when I say fashion conscious, that doesn't mean today's fashion.
That may mean like, you know, slightly goth in their fashion type or slightly emo or like a whole lot of different types of fashion that's where i sit you know but they've got a they make a positive choice on a regular like on a daily basis as to what they're going to wear outside of that they have to have to be reasonably intelligent and again that doesn't mean book smarts that just means that i can have a hold of conversation with them without them finishing every sentence with the words or like or like yeah hey my type sorry so yeah certainly somebody who can who can finish a sentence without giggling every time and and has something to say has an opinion to offer and is totally allowed to disagree with my opinion I'll see you next time.
Yeah, certainly somebody who can finish a sentence without giggling every time and has something to say, has an opinion to offer and is totally allowed to disagree with my opinion. I find people who disagree with my opinion actually quite interesting, provided they're willing to have a conversation about it without getting angry. That's where the problem normally starts. Outside of that, I'm not really a hair colour person.
Like, I don't have a particular shade particular shade if i was going to pick anything i would say probably a redhead but that's probably just because it's different rather than you know there's less of them around but that's not really a thing for me in terms of body tape uh body body tape or just the body type even maybe you could use body tape to get to this body type body type would be generally somebody who has curves so I like a waist on a woman they can have broader hips they can have broader shoulders they can have large breasts or small breasts but as long as there's a definition between where their butt finishes and their breasts begin, that's something that's of interest to me.
Don't really care about size. I've been with ladies who are large or small, but I think somebody who can own their shape and is not lying to themselves about what their shape is to try and own it is all I look for. So somebody who's reasonably interesting, that's it. So you look for personality, is that what you're trying to say? Personality and humour? No. Sorry, I was just trying to… I got you. Yeah, but no. No? Yeah, but no, I mean, personality is in there, but that's kind of the intelligence piece that I mentioned. And again, intelligence can be many things. Humour could be one of them.
It's also a form of intelligence. So if you were to look around a room of, say, 100 women, how many women would fall into that category that you just discussed? Probably 50% at best, I'd say. In that same room with 100 men, how many of those men would fall into the category that I just discussed? Three.
why people keep saying women are picky yeah but because i think that but that's because you you are when we do think about what we want i think that it's either way too broad so that you can't even pinpoint it so your partner as i said before doesn't even know what you're interested in sorry no i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna say that this is entirely wrong the whole premise because picky literally means your inability to fucking pick or a an ability to decide on something that is unfindable yeah yeah so so it's this is why yeah this is exactly why just fyi toy three oh my god she's bought in now she's bought him toy Toy 3.
All right, we're wrapping up. Jesus. Judgy. Do you want to know what Penny's favourite is? Anything with a squeak. Anything with a squeaky night. Does my type surprise you? Not at all. Okay, cool.
But I can tell you right now that if I find your exact fucking type, you'll say that his scrotum's too wide or something can i add in like nice tight balls into my time is it just nice tight balls so i need to now be auditing dudes online excuse me sir could i just ask uh for just a photo of your scrotum not of your not of your whole penis and everything we don't want to cock shot because that's just weird but just your balls yeah yeah i like them tight okay so i think shot because that's just weird. But just your balls. Yeah. Yeah. I like them tight. Okay.
So I think, I feel like you've missed out a whole lot of things here. What do you feel like I've missed out? Well, you've failed to mention beard or no beard. Yeah. There's part of your type. Well, I was going to say about the hair and glasses and everything else situation. Glasses, don't mind. Hair, don't mind. Facial hair, sticking point. Sticking point. I've been with guys now with like, you know, trimmed beards and stuff like that. But like a huge beard? Yeah, nah. You mean like a ZZ Top sort of fucker? He's the guy with the big... Yeah. Nah. It's actually a band. Yeah, okay. Look it up.
Yeah, nah. Magic. Magical music made by that particular band. That's not true. I don't even know what ZZ Top sings. Anyway, okay. I mean, what else though? I mean, you've said. What do you want? Shoe size? Well, that's pretty good. That's what I'm interested in right now. I don't care about their... What about intelligence? Yeah. What about confidence? He's successful. Yeah, but that doesn't mean he's confident. It means he's got to be, like, pretty intelligent. It doesn't mean any of those things. Yeah. Yeah? So what's your judgment on success? I don't know. Stop asking me questions. Exactly.
Stop asking me stupid questions about my type. Okay. To try and help you understand what your type is. Stop asking me these ridiculous questions. And this is why I recently said I'm giving up on trying to find us dates. Yeah? Yep. Okay.
Because I think the type is stop asking me these ridiculous questions and this is why i recently said i'm giving up on trying to find us dates yeah yep okay so i think the the type is a is a problem and it changes regularly for you and also outside of that i think a couple type becomes even more fucking difficult it does it is right let's say thank you very much to our newest patrons so thank you very much to carl d tom trey friday nights pa couple thank you so much for joining us on patreon and of course thank you to all of our existing patreon members we really appreciate the hell out of you we got a voicemail i saw it well how'd you see it because i was watching voicemails the other day you're watching voicemails yeah yeah i did get an email the other day asking how they can watch our podcast that always i always like that brings me a little bit of joy every time i get that yeah i'm gonna play a voicemail i'm gonna play it because i want i want to talk to you about something that's in there so i'm gonna play a voicemail i'm really excited about this let's go all right let's do it hi kate and daryl i just wanted to send you both a thank you from john and karen we had a wonderful time at a temptations resort just about two weeks ago and became intrigued about the swinging lifestyle.
My wife and I've been together for 36 years, and we reinvent our relationship every 7 to 10. I want to thank you for your guidance in helping us to reinvent yet again. We're not only listening to your podcast, but we're also reviewing a number of your suggestions, most notably the Playboy television series, Swing. We will watch an episode and talk about how we feel afterwards. I want to thank you both for helping get us started on this journey. Neither one of us know where it's going to end, and frankly, that's part of the fun. You both have a wonderful day and take care of yourselves.
Goodbye- have a wonderful day and take care of yourselves. Goodbye. So, first of all, thanks, John and Karen, for the voicemail. Thanks for listening to the podcast. But more importantly, 36 years together, they reinvent themselves. Did you hear him say that? Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I really like the fact that – Maybe we should do that. Maybe we should reinvent ourselves. You want to reinvent ourselves? Yeah. Into what?
I can be the one who chases the squeaky toys around no i don't like this game i don't like it i thought i thought it was really really good because and i use a business analogy i was going to send penny to fucking work get that dog work and she can make some fucking money for a change yeah and your own pork god damn it when people are in business they often re-evaluate and just think are we on the right path where what we do how are? How are we going? And it's interesting to me that… Get their strategy aligned. Get their strategy. Where do you get the marketing?
Our problem is we don't have enough marketing out there. We don't have enough marketing? No. I mean, obviously, because we don't have any dates. We're doing the wrong verticals. It's happening here. I liked it. I like the fact that they reinvent their relationship. I like the fact that they're actively talking about it and actively thinking about it and doing something about it. It's really good. I think that, I mean, time goes so goddamn quickly that we forget to do any of that. I liked it. I listened to that and I was like, good on you, John and Karen. It's about having a strategy. Good.
Strategy for life. You guys are aces. I think it's, I can only admire the foresight to create a strategy. I mean, you can't even create a strategy around which man you'd want to take home. No, I can't. And if it comes down to the woman, it's just fucking impossible. Here's what I want to know. I want to know whether or not they do a SWOT analysis on the current – on their current relationship. Crikey. I don't even want to think about you doing a squad analysis of our relationship. We should do that. It'll be a bit funny. No, I think you should do it. I reckon it's going to be really lopsided.
What, you reckon? Yeah. Into the threats and weaknesses? Yeah, I think you're going to be right. I think you're going to be heavy on that side of the two-by-two for sure. Maybe. It's going to be real heavy. Nah. It's going to roll over. Sorry. It won't spell SWAT anymore. Here's my takeaway for this episode, by the way. Let's do a little bit of a takeaway. My takeaway is to take all of the toys off, Penny, before you start podcasting. Well, there's that as well. Don't open the door and let your dog out of the room. That's another thing.
No, my takeaway, and hopefully a lesson is – Sorry, you just want to lock the dog in a room. Thank you. Before you start podcasting. I'll list that as well. Don't open the door and let your dog out of the room. That's another thing. No, my takeaway, and hopefully a lesson. Sorry, you just want to lock the dog in a room. For those of you who thought I was joking. We're in the room. For those of you who thought I was joking when I said Kate is a monster, did you hear that? She's just going to lock the dog in the room forever. We're in the room with her. She's in the room with her.
The toys were in the lounge room. You let her out. You're out you're a monster my takeaway my lessons learned is for i want you guys to active actively sit down on your own and think about what your actual type is think about the physical characteristics think about the personality traits do a drawing do a drawing if you're an artist if you're not an artist make the individual out of-Doh. Or just the important body parts. Charades. You can do charades. You can do charades. Think about it. I want you to think about it. And then I want you to, your partner to do the same thing.
And then I want you guys to like share that. I think it's a great idea. Although I think you need to do your drawing in pencil. Just to rub it out. Yeah. Change it. I'm just going to change this. Oh, they just got shorter ways. We'll just get a whiteboard, babe. It's fine. Yeah. Easy to rub off. I'm serious. I think that'd be a good takeaway for you guys. Good lessons learned is the fact that your partner likely does not know because you don't know.
And how can they be expected at a club or on a dating site to find people that may interest you if you're not giving them the information and the tools to hand. So do it. It's a good activity. So now I have to be one of those husbands that asks people how tall they are. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that's. Just go up and stand next to them in a club and just judge. No, I mean like online. All of this stuff in a club's easy because you can actually fucking talk to them and understand what, like it's so much more simple. Let's go to that club that's near here. Oh, wait, there isn't one.
Rightio, guys, that has been episode 137, Women Have No Type. Yes, clickbait, clickbait title, and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed of that. I did it on purpose. So thanks, Daryl, for coming along. I don't even understand how it's clickbait. I don't get it. Because it's like women have no type and people are going to be like, I've got a type, listen to this, and then. Wow. I mean, we need to reassess the marketing component of what you're doing. You just said we don't have enough marketing out there. Yeah, I know, but, I mean, not all marketing is good marketing, no matter what they do.
Hey. It's me. So that's it. Fuck. So I think we all understand now why we can't get a date. Episode 137, Wanderlust Wiggins Podcast. Thank you so much, guys, for listening. And if you would like to join our Patreon, head over to patreon.com forward slash swinging down under. We'll see you guys next time. Ciao. I'll see you next time, bye
