Are you curious what happens at a swinging lifestyle Halloween party? Is Halloween your favorite swinging time of the year? Do you like fireball and dressing up? Have we got an episode for you
We recorded this live with our Patron community (Thank you legends!) and reminisced about our swinging Halloween mishaps over the years and shared some listener experiences as well.
We talk about the 3 golden rules to swinging Halloween outfits (thank you Kelly and Keith), how to make a killer (not literally) Fireball shot and why interactive costumes can get your laid. Join us for some silly fun as we sit at home and social distance the HELL out of this Halloween
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Transcript
Speaker1: You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. Hey, Daryl. Yes. What would you rather, do a live podcast at eight in the morning or sleeping? How's that even? I just thought it was funny because you just woke up. You're just looking at me. Okay, right good. All right guys, g'day and welcome back to another live podcast. Woohoo is, I'm not allowed to say Halloween spooktacular apparently because that's trademarked by the Simpsons, Daryl, thanks. But welcome to the non-Halloween spooktacular, the un-spooktacular. I mean, the word spooktacular is the problem here. So maybe stop saying spooktacular. Hey, some interesting to us we actually just came out of twitter jail so we were in twitter jail for 24 hours because as we come up to the you're a horrible human being i'm an asshole as we come up to the election in the u.s they uh twitter has announced that they are cracking down on hate speech right and you know australians we like to say the word slut and all sorts of other things. And I put up a joke on Twitter in October. It was earlier October, so this month. And I got a notification saying that the fact that I said that average swingers were slutty mixed slut sluts got me put in Twitter jail. I wasn't able to post for 24 hours like anything or anything. I think that's fair. It's good like the fact that they're cut they're trying to come down on the hate speech i really appreciate that i think it's a good it's a good thing so on one hand i'm like fuck it i can't use twitter on the other hand i'm like a good for twitter you know what i mean i know exactly what you mean you're like yes i know exactly what you mean g'day guys welcome to the live thank you for joining us what we're talking about today is going to be about sexy spooky lifestyle halloween I mean... Yes, I know exactly what you mean. G'day guys, welcome to the live. Thank you for joining us. What we're talking about today is going to be about sexy, spooky lifestyle, Halloween. It may just be Kate talking though because it's still too early in the morning for me to be fully functional. Drink some coffee, babe. I don't want to. I made it an all. I know. Drink it. That's why I don't trust it. It's probably just got a little bit of cyanide in each cup. You are strangely, your body seems to be getting used to arsenic. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I think soon you're going to have some sort of like arsenic superpower. I'm going to have an arsehole. You are that, okay. You're giving me arseholedness, which comes from arsenic. Arselic, yes. Thank you very much, bedhoppers. Hey, Daryl. Yes. Would you rather have sex with Frankie Stein or Zombizilla? I don't know those two characters. Well, I tried to make them females. So you added Stein to the end? No, Frankie instead of Frankenstein. Hang on. But, I mean, the only Frankie I know is male. No, that's not true. That's not true. We know a female Frankie as well. So, okay, Frankenstein. Oh, shit, we do too. Frankenstein or a zombie was where I was at, but I was trying to make them female for you. So, Frankie Stein or a zombiezilla? Oh, that's a good one. It'd have to be Frankenstein. I mean, I like the bolts, for starters, out the side of the neck. And zombies are all, like, fully a party. So, you can only imagine that, like, with the bits, it'd be fully a party as well. well and that'd be pretty that'd be unexciting to be like halfway through it and then like a chunk to fall off okay that's a bit weird but yeah okay so frankenstein that's who you're going with going with frank frankie steiny okay is that what you said frankie steiny uh frankie stein yeah frankie stein okay frankie steiny can work as well okay so what we're going to do is we're going to actually share some of the stories that we've had at Lifestyle Halloween events over the years, and we'd love for you guys to share your stories too so you can text them or you can call in and be part of the podcast. And I've got a couple as well from a few of our listeners that aren't here today but they sent in their stories, so let's get cracking. Also, Bedhopper said that Placer Frankie could be made of the best bits.
Speaker2:
They could. No, I –
Speaker1:
The like best bits. Ah, gotcha. Well, I mean, for starters, you probably should have just said Frankenstein's monsterette because – Ah, I should have. Because Frankenstein – I'm actually now doing the person who made Frankenstein. Oh, yeah, you are too. Yeah, made Frankenstein's monster. It's a common mistake, babe.
Speaker2:
It's okay.
Speaker1:
I'll let you – I'll let it – well, I won't let it slide, and I haven't, but I will from now on. So Kate's pretty excited about the fact that she's... I'm using the buttons a lot today. She's found that she really enjoys the buttons today. She's found her button, and she's going to be flicking it. So Halloween parties. I feel like Kate's trying to move me on, so I'm going to stay here for a while. Halloween parties. So we held a Halloween party, and this is actually the first year we're not doing one in Singapore, which is Sad Panda, but that's what it is. We held one in Singapore where we did a pub.
Speaker2:
What do you mean?
Speaker1:
Can't we do our own Halloween party at home?
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
I mean, we could get a Halloween costume for Penny. The three of us could get dressed up. Okay, legitimately though, I still want a giant dinosaur, like one of those blow-up dinosaur costumes. I've been wanting one for years, and now I like one of those blow-up dinosaur costumes i've been wanting one for years and now i'm not real sexy though i don't care i just really want one i'll just do the dishes in it i don't care but i want one the arms are too short because i mean that's true i want one because i also want to do um the wap dance wet ass pussy you know i want to do the wap dance in in my giant dinosaur costume that's what i gotcha that song is terrible since we're moving we can't really do that because you got to get rid of shit not buy stuff that song's terrible you know why that song's terrible it's nothing at all to do with the lyrics that everyone got bent out of shape about it's terrible because it's just a fucking terrible song okay it's got it's just it's just boring just saying the same thing we'd ask pussy the whole way through to get the reaction the exact reaction that they got nicely played marketing team i might add anyway moving on the party in singapore so we made some test tube vodka jello shots for a party in singapore because you know test tubes right and they were red so they look like blood so yeah but why this is something that i asked kate during this one why did you decide that test tube should be made out Thank you. because, you know, test tubes, right? And they were red, so they looked like blood. So, yeah, but why? This was something that I asked Kate during this time. Why did you decide that a test tube should be made out of Jell-O rather than just a liquid? I don't know. Can you press the little crickets button again? No, it's broken. And nobody wanted to try them, and I'll tell you why. It's not because they thought they were going to be too hard to get out of the test tubes, which is what I was worried about in the first place. Which is what the problem no for me they were actually worried that um they'd been poisoned or drugged yep so here in singapore people are that paranoid that we can try to actually even hand them some free alcohol they don't want to take it so i ended up eating about 20 of those that night if i recall yeah you were quite the fatty fatty maybe the first drunko well drunko fatty and actually on the same night as well three of us started making out in the cupboard at the bar takeover which i i don't recommend and we will never do again because we were hosting we should have been hosting and you almost fell on a giant timber ship so there's that i had to remove the mast of a of a model timber ship from my ass to get out of the place yeah it was it wasn't cool and and might i add i was still somebody was somebody the other person in the room god, was still trying to get me to sit down on it so that she could do rude things to me.
Speaker2:
She was.
Speaker1:
She was trying to suck your cock in a cupboard whilst you sat on a timber ship. Yeah, but I'm not, not my idea of fun.
Speaker2:
No.
Speaker1:
A couple dressed in Star Wars attire lied about only visiting the club that, the city that the club was in. We played with them that night and weeks later they emailed us to confess they lived in Sydney.
Speaker2:
What was he?
Speaker1:
He was dressed as like Luke Skywalker or something. He actually, they nailed it as well. I love you. that the club was in we played with them that night and weeks later they emailed us to confess they lived in sydney what was he he was dressed as like luke skywalker or something he actually they nailed it as well they nailed their costume they fucking nailed it i think that's what drew us to them they're like you guys are like you know i've always wanted to bang luke so kate's like yeah let's let's get over there anyway so yeah they were they they told us that they were they were from canadia if i recall canada i'm just playing people so yeah from canada they really really weren't they lived in sydney they did have uh canadian well what we thought were canadian accents turns out they were probably a little bit more bostonian so at that point we probably didn't really know the accents too well but yeah they lied to us but now they talk to us regularly we're pseudo regularly yeah and they're in the lifestyle now um full time that was one of their first forays and they were concerned that people might hunt them down and stab them with pencils yeah so they so they had fantastic costumes and we actually i remember having a conversation with them going wait a second so you're traveling here just for this weekend or whatever and you bought costumes and you guys have guys have these. Bought these fucking amazing costumes. Yeah, and I was like, well, you've got props and everything. Like, how much space did that take up in your luggage? Like, seriously, logistically, I was like, this doesn't. That was the first person you introduced to the magic wand. It was, actually. Yeah, so we played with them. They later emailed us and they were like, hey, we lied, guys. Actually, we live like 20 minutes down the road from you. Yeah, we were like, sweet, that's amazing. We'd love to catch up with you again but we're moving to Singapore so suck a dick right okay uh I once had a really elaborate face costume on and so when you go to some of these lifestyle swingers events you know you really got to be careful with your costume right and your makeup and stuff like that like at desire one year I got my full body paint on and we've spoken about that before how it's just not practical right if you're going to go have sex with people it is you just everyone ends up looking like part of the blue man group exactly but in in this particular case i had this really elaborate face mask painting on with like fake blood and everything else now later in the evening my fancy face makeup basically started to melt and it actually looked that horrible on me that at one point I went up to get a drink at the bar and the bartender was like hey are you okay there's something wrong with you like are you feeling sick or something like that and I was like okay so my fancy you know attempted sexy makeup has failed and at 11 o'clock at night no one's going to take me home because I look like a creature from the deep yeah so I so I left her there, went home with someone else.
Speaker2:
It was a perfect night. It worked out really well.
Speaker1:
Hey, Sassy, Sassy Malassie's got a good question here that I'm going to interrupt and ask you what your thoughts are. How come other people are allowed to interrupt, but when I interrupt, you know, I get realigned? Because you go on, like, long rants that have nothing to do... Hey, Sassy, can you go on a long rant? I'd just like to test this. Okay, they've asked, if you go to a lifestyle party, do you need to have matching couple costumes? Oh, I don't think so. You don't think so? I don't think so, no. What's your experience been with it? Like, mostly when you see a couple with matching costumes, do you go, huh, they've put some thought into this? Or do you go, huh, the woman has done that or the man has done that, depending on the costume? Oh, I mean, my mind female i have to say but i don't i don't really think it matters i think i think if you've done that and you've pulled it off i think it look that that's good but the problem is with with this sort of thing you've got to be both the right i think you kind of got to fit the picture right so whether that's the right height or right weight or whatever whatever that might look like you kind of got to both fit the same picture and if if you if one of you doesn't then you end up in a scenario where it kind of detracts i think so and it's an i think it's unusual for everybody to fit that picture like if if we if you decided to go as let's say shearer and i had to go as he man you know doing some old school stuff here then i don't could pull off a six-pack. Well, not without a six months of work and a personal trainer. I was going to say some really fancy lighting and some really good body paint. Whoa. What are you saying? What are you saying? Yeah, yeah. You just step away from it. Bedhoppers have never actually been to a lifestyle Halloween party. What? I know. They've wandered around the house wearing costumes does not that second part does not surprise me one piece at all but yeah lifestyle halloween parties uh i mean there's there's two times of the year when i think that most of the clubs would be absolutely chock-a-block and that's at new year's and that's at halloween i feel like that's their spirit animal halloween party yeah yeah like that's your spirit animal go to a fucking hallow. Remember, there's two things involved in that. One, they would actually have to talk to people and mingle. Oh, yeah, that's right. Right? Bed-hoppers. Come on, guys. As long as there's no chairs in the place, you know, you'd be doing okay. And what was I going to say? Oh, and the other thing is the music and too many people. I don't know. It sounds like it would be their thing, but maybe like an intimate Halloween party. Yeah. For them, rather than like a big club doof-doof Halloween party. Anyway, I don't think it matters. No, I don't think it matters, Sassy. I will say, though, I do agree with Daryl's point that like if you're both wearing a costume and one of you's not really into it, kind of it does subtract. What I do think is clever, though, is when couples maybe wear some costumes that kind of match each other, but not really. You know what I mean? So like it might be in the storyline. I like those ones. So explain, though explain though i mean because nobody's got any context of what you're talking about yeah that you had your diner dude outfit for example and you were going around with like the interactive vodka and cranberry you know mustard and sauce bottles no you don't remember that okay of course i do but you know it's fun to say no sometimes so like if you were wearing the diner dude costume and then like i had a roller skating girl costume on do you know what i mean like they kind of match a little bit yeah but let's be very honest here who put that together me yeah yeah i would never have thought of that okay especially the especially the booze bit that you put together you were like oh you should have two two little squirty bottles or sauce bottles that we could squirt into people's mouths with uh what was it we had vodka and vodka vodka and one and cranberry and the other and so the cranberry was the worst cranberry ever it was so bad vodka people were like oh i'll put some more vodka in my mouth just to wash out that cranberry well and sassy just commented and said an interactive costume would be fun they they are and they're a really really good idea if you can get an action Yeah, they're also a wicked COVID spreader now, if you want to.
Speaker2:
What are you coming dressed as um a super spreader i'm coming as a super spreader i'm just going to be mr coven i'm just going to walk around kissing everybody just licking the top of their beer bottles well there you go mr super spreader what i will say about uh costumes as well and this next story is going to tie into this very well, but, you know, there's a time and a place for some costumes, isn't there? You know, if you go to a Halloween party and you're trying to look sexy and your costume's just a bit oddball, people aren't going to want to engage with you, and this happened to Daryl. So Daryl was wearing these full white... Yeah, this was at... Not in New Orleans, actually. Yeah, this wasn't a Halloween. wasn't a halloween party but it was a dress-up party and you you went as a freaky character that's why i didn't i went as riddick oh yeah you did too which i might add i still couldn't pull off his six-pack either but in some of the scenes he's wearing a vest so i had a vest on i had reflective contacts in so they actually they weren't white they actually reflected the surroundings they were weird they were a bitch to get in and even more of a bitch to get out i might add because i hate my eyeballs being touched and i've never seen women run away from me so quickly now no one would talk i've been standing in a park with my pants off and i've had more women come up to me than what happened in that night it was fucking terrifying they just walk up and i'd say hey how are you and i think it was the smile crossed with the reflection of themselves in my eyes they just went fuck this and turned around like literally on their heels and gone poof that was the noise they made as they walked away poof you did have one lady say i really want to kiss you but i can't not with those in not with those in yeah that's because my my wonderful personality beamed through my horrific eyes the couple costume work for bed hoppers they just said that they went to desire as some characters from floor and they ran into another character dressed as thor and loki and total spoiler it totally worked for for them so there you go did did anybody put their hammer up in the middle of the play maybe hey what else have you got over there i suppose this probably fits into one of the one of the weird one of the weird things that somebody's found in a club in a in a swingers club after an event because i lost a vampire fang so um i got a bit carried away on the vampire fang scenario um it was there were a few vampires there we had ye olde you know bram's bram stoker's dracula was there uh with the with the full hair. I was more, I went more the modern vampire with the sparkly skin variety, mainly because I've witnessed a lot of ladies get very excited about the sparkly vampires. Anyway, so I had my vampire teeth in which I'd paid like 40 bucks for these specially moulded, you know, or you make them and mould them and put them into your mouth and they were awesome. I mean, it actually did work. There were a lot of women going, can I touch your fang? Anyway, lost a fang. Lost a fucking fang in the club. It was found later and the club owner said to me, you know, do you want me to return it? I'm not sure that I really want to take something that's been under a couch in a swingers club and put it back in my mouth. That was, yeah, was one of the things that i've lost in a club that was and it was weird to walk around for the rest of the night with only one fang in yeah i felt like you couldn't pull them off could you yeah you could it just it just took a little bit of pull and they would they're designed to stay in there they're actually they're they're like fully they were full-on goth fangs that you could leave in all day although although it was a real bitch to drink and eat with them yes it was yeah yeah so they weren't those like cheap plastic ones that you get for like from the two dollar store they were like proper enamel with this putty that you put inside them and then mold them onto your teeth and they they stuck they formed like a vacuum on your tooth you couldn't get them couldn't get them out but somehow i still managed to get it out i still maintain that one of the ladies i kissed sucked it out of my mouth and then spat it in the corner afterwards she's like and then and went then smiled at me like with a glowing smile as if to say yeah i can suck your teeth off imagine what else that is gross yeah that's like real gross all right guys so we actually have some interesting costume and lifestyle halloween stories that we're going to share from other listeners and some of these are really funny some of these are interactive kind of what Sassy was talking about earlier those interactive costumes but look lifestyle Halloween parties Daryl like just generally where do you sit on them do you are you pro them not do you like them what's going on I'm I'm pro I'm pro all parties all dress parties as long as people put some effort in i mean well for our events we have a very strict policy if you come to a to an event that is expected to be dress uh dressed of some you know costumed event and you don't have a costume then typically we don't let you in the door unless you buy a costume at the door yeah you know at least part of a part of a costume it's it's a an absolute because it i think it just helps even if you're not into wearing a costume it just helps you relax and be somebody you don't perhaps you're not always when you're out on the street yeah it ruins the ambience of the rest of the people there i mean and you don't need to go elaborate too like you don't need to go and hire something but yeah to just throw on i mean if it's a on a – I mean, if it's a devil's event, throw on a couple of horns. Yeah, it's pretty easy.
Speaker1:
Yeah, so we have a policy here in Singapore if we throw those bar takeovers and it's a – but they're always costume, they're always theme. If you don't turn up, you don't get in. Like, that's – we're very cut and dry with it.
Speaker2:
Yeah. Ba-dum. Okay, you ready? Yes.
Speaker1:
What am I ready for? We already did that one, though.
Speaker2:
Oh, okay. Hold on. That's – so welcome to – We recorded this 15 minutes ago here in Singapore. Yeah, this is just a regular Tuesday in rainy season here in Singapore. Thankfully, Penny doesn't have any headset on, otherwise she'd be shitting herself running around the corners. Now, I've got a few on this particular person that they've written. Actually, I love all of these, so I'm going to read them all. But Demolition Catch XXX. So, most successful and productive costume, porn director. All you need is a clapboard and your directing scenes everywhere throughout the club. Walking around the club being a porn director. That's pretty clever. I like it. That is clever. Yeah. That was, like, so simple, so good. I really like that. I think we should probably, well, I think I might probably steal that, maybe. Oh, yeah, why? No reason. Okay. Just like watching live porn in a club. I mean, who doesn't? That's part of the reason we go to clubs. Unexpected sale. I was at a pool party and some guy lost his shoes, guessing that he was rather high and somewhat paranoid, so I gave him my socks and he insisted on giving me $50. He felt much better and all I really did was switch my socks for shoes and went for sandals. So those socks really paid for themselves. 50 bucks for a pair of socks. Nice. I mean, did you run, was he running socks with sandals? That's what I heard to start with, which is, I mean, that's a little creepy. No, no, he had socks and shoes on and then he swapped them out for his sandals. Although if you're in the UK, I'd imagine that's pretty standard, right? I mean, that seems to be the country for it to run the socks and sandals oh yeah yeah seems to be seems to be the go-to move okay yeah all right this one's this one's a bit gross but strangest moment so we're at a club with two women it was halloween taking the scene looking down to see a complete big toenail obviously recently lost as it was covered in blood and the previous owner had what appeared to be a fresh polish it was rather out of context-of-context moment being surrounded by a catwoman, a black cat, a catwoman and a black cat in costume, and a giant, I won't say giant, just a big toenail sitting there doing nothing. I'm going to say Alchi because I've done that on a drunken evening on the way out of a friend's house. So should I read the next one? Yeah, that would be great. Okay, so we went to a chocolate squirrel party, let's call it that, Halloween party, and they had two kinds of name tags,
Speaker1:
one with pumpkin, the other with black cat. The idea was that the cats would start to play once the pumpkins had gone home. Yeah, so unfortunately we didn't stay long enough to find out how it worked out. But I do like the idea behind having, like, different bands or different ways to identify people because I think that's quite clever.
Speaker2:
Yes. Let's quite clever. Yes, I agree. That you can have those different bands and then be like, all right. Totally agree. Yeah. Amazingly clever. Yeah? Yep. Piorgi Powers. Piorgi Powers. Okay, Piorgi Powers. I really like this one. So my husband had a crazy Birdman costume. It was a full prosthetic face mask and had a beak and everything. This is i'm talking about like sometimes that you can get this costumes and they're just super overboard he was he was also wearing a formal suit and even had a cane which had a handmade bird handle it was epic it was also totally not made for sexy times i could just see people getting their eyes poked out he wore it at a vanilla party and won first place which she says was actually a tattoo voucher that she used so that's like winning um he then wore it to the lifestyle club party it was so crowded and we figured no sex would happen now this is true so in some of these halloween lifestyle events that we've been to or even new year's events when they're so packed there is no sex the place is crowded like you can't move around so i get that i get that part uh so he figured no sex would happen but some super cute woman unzipped his pants, took out his cock, and sucked it.
Speaker1:
He was so shocked by all of this, she didn't even know what his face looks like. Because remember, he's got this, like, full-on prosthetic mask over the top. He wasn't going to say no to it, so it was really interesting. So she did later clarify that the lady actually asked if she could do that, so there was consent there. But what I said to her, I was like, this is basically almost like a Halloween glory hole of sorts, because the emininity of that, like having not really In the next video, I'll see you in the next video. was consent there but what i said to her i was like this is basically almost like a halloween glory hole of sorts because the eminity of that like having not really knowing the person and everything else that could be quite sexy for a lot of people yeah so yeah it was funny not for this people it was funny that she was like oh no sex is going to happen and then somebody was like hello i reckon kate's secretly totally into that though i like me some halloween glory hole for all the boys out there, I think Kate's totally, totally secretly into that. What, me wearing the prosthetic face? No, you being secretly taken by somebody who's just asked you for consent rather than introduce themselves. I think that was part of your alley, your memoirs of a classy alley, wasn't it? Of course. Memoirs of a classy alley. Oh, God, I could write so many stories. Okay, so it looks like it's back to me, judged by that silence. So Polly Anyandro, Polly Anyandro, it seems like it's going to be really hard to say up front, but then it isn't. It's not. It rolls off the tongue quite nicely. Polly Anyandro, it does. I like it. I mean, it seems like it could even go into a song polyneandro no no i think it could no yeah so last halloween i had a burlesque show in a vanilla bar i was a stage kitten at the time i bought a date as did my husband who is also our dj that night in between act when I had time, the date and I snuck in. What? You're so bad at reading. I am. Do you realize that it's early in the morning? My brain is still not on. Oh, God, it's so funny. How do you pull the piss out of somebody for not being good at reading? That's not fair. Oh, sorry. That's really mean, actually. I really mean okay i'm sorry cut me some fucking slack there woman all right okay can you get on with it no one read that when when i had time reading around a furry fucking cat here as well this doesn't really work i'm trying to keep the mic and this furry cat's up my fucking snout that night in between in between act breaks when i had time the date and i snuck out out to his vehicle like we were high schoolers had some hot and heavy petting and flirting with more before making it back for the next act luckily no makeup to smear although my cat costume did get a bit disheveled both the husband and i had a great night at halloween i like that i like the fact that she's saying you know like that that high school like sneaking out to the car getting all hot and heavy getting excited i like that it's funny this is one of the interesting things that i we chuckle about in singapore is that the the vast majority of people here who lose their virginity before marriage lose it in stairwells Why is that? Well, there's a whole lot of public built stairwell, well, buildings here that also have stairwells, yes. See, it's not just the reading, is it? It's not just the fucking reading, is it, Kate? No. Daryl's just bad at everything. Go for a walk. Anyway, so, yeah, they lose their virginity in stairwells because cars are too fucking expensive because nobody's going to spend you know a hundred thousand dollars to buy a hyundai to then try and get laid in it and all cramped up fucking like you're a you know a partly bent stable hey just just on that and a little bit of a paperclip there are already on a tangent you can't tangent my tangent i can tangent my tangent there are actually some hotels you're terrible at fucking tangents there are some hotels in singapore that are known to be like you can basically rent them by the hour yeah love hotels so you know hotel 81 up the road yeah have you noticed they got a promo special at the moment yeah 69 yes did you notice that yes i was like slow clap i wonder I wonder whether anybody got that other than you though okay hey Sassy Malassie said that the stairwell is like the Singaporean version of a classy alley it is but it's a lot less a lot less classy I mean my classy alley has some some rugs down you know in particular places you got rugs in your classy alley and everything? Oh, yeah, they're sperm covered, though. Hey, I want to read out, before I read this last one that I have, I want to read Kelly and Keith's rules for Halloween costumes because I really like it. They have three rules.
Speaker2:
Are you ready?
Speaker1:
Are you ready for this? I'm going to lay the Kelly and Keith.
Speaker2:
I'm not ready.
Speaker1:
Can we do it later? Rule smack down. No, we can't do it later, actually. Our three rules for Halloween costumes. One, no masks or makeup that cover your face so people can see what you look like. Right, that's a pretty good rule, really, because we've been to some parties like the prosthetic face story we just mentioned before. You have no idea what the people look like. You know, fair, fair, cool. I get it. Number two is my favorite though. Number two, the costume cannot restrict your awesome dance moves. Oh yeah. Okay. Fair, cool. There was a guy that came to one of our parties in Singapore who had a giant dinosaur costume on and he was in the club, you know, with like packed people in there. There was like 100 people in the club that would normally fit, I don't know, 60 or 70. So you can imagine, look, really hard to kind of get. He kept knocking people over with his giant tail. So I get that. Like number two, don't restrict your awesome dance move. I think that actually helped him though. Because people were talking to him? Oh, no, because he had a huge tail. People were like, wow, your tail is huge. You know what they say about big tails? Yeah, small feet. Small feet. Number three, the costume should make you look good or better than you are in real life. Yeah, better is the best way to go. Better is the best way to go. Well, I mean, I always go for better. That's true, though. Like, some of the costumes out there, you know, they might be like, this is the thing with costumes, though, especially with male – Well, going as Cousin It's really not going to do it, is it? No. With male costumes, though, you don't have a lot of opportunity here because a lot of the time it's either like a ridiculous joke costume, so like going as something stupid, you know, some giant hot dog or like a giant – I don't know, just stupid stuff, like really, really – What's wrong with a giant hot dog? I don't know. It's not really, like, back to the point, it's not really, like, sexy, is it? Depends where you place the hot dog. So normally if you go, like, you see male costumes, they'll either be like that, you know, trying to be too jokey or they'll be only suitable for people with six-packs. Like, I swear to God, like, that's what's out there on offer. Like, you've got to be a fireman or a doctor or whatever and you've got to rock a six-pack. It i don't envy you're talking about the male side yeah the male side sucks yeah i don't envy guys when they're looking for yeah well that's because you know what do we normally wear jeans and a shirt jeans and a shirt you can't rock that and be well actually i did didn't i i went as a vamp i put vampire teeth on put some sparkly shit on my skin and jeans and a shirt and i was uh you know It was fucking amazing. Actually, why haven't I done that more often? I'm going to do that more often. No, I don't think so. It's the laziest costume ever. No, one time you went as a cactus. Yeah. So that's a good way to not get laid. That was a vanilla party. But, yeah, if you want to go as a cactus, guys, just buy a green shirt and put thumbtacks through the shirt from the inside out and then put tape over them on the inside. Paint yourself in green. Paint yourself green. You can just walk along and people give you a hug and they realise you're a cactus. I think that that particular outfit actually goes against all three of Kelly and Keith's rules. It did, but it also nearly got me laid. Okay, I've got another one here from Piorgi Powers powers i don't know why i can't say that i just it's just i can't say i love this one okay my personal story just involves me having three tits i had a silicon boob cut this the costumes these people are wearing are like over and above aren't they i had a silicon boob cut and sized similar to my boobs and i glued it in between my boobs also had very hookerish clothing. I was supposed to be the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6 from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but most people mistook me from the chick from Total Recall. I was going to say that's a Total Recall. Yeah, one couple mentioned the Hitchhiker's Guide, and that was awesome. They got it, and it confirmed that I'm a total nerd. As soon as she said that, I was like, I know exactly who you're talking about and I would totally get that. I wouldn't have gotten the total recall thing. I would have been like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for shiz. Well, it's either that or Paul, the movie Paul. Is it in Paul? Yeah, well, it's a drawing. It's on the cover of his comic that everybody keeps saying three tits, awesome. Yeah, gluing a silicon tit in amongst, like that to me is... That's pretty, that's right up though. Yeah, I like it though. And fucking greedy. And fucking greedy. Mark Sexy said prickly and that was in response to your cactus costume. Yes, it was actually because you couldn't actually go anywhere near him or hug him, is why i'm saying that it gets it goes against kelly and keith's three rules because number two can't restrict your awesome dance move do you think anyone's going near daryl when he's got well hang on you're basically a walking weapon yes you're right but my dance move weren't restricted i could smash out a dance yeah you could yeah did you absolutely yeah for sure you've got a you've got a really I think it's multiple stories if I'm not wrong. It is. I do have a really big one, and I also have quite a long story to read. Oh. Well, now. So I'm not going to make any more jokes throughout the remainder of this. Subgenius Butt Pirate is their name, which I mean, I've just got to congratulate on your name to start with it's uh it's pretty impressive oh god exclamation point which i'm not going to yell right now but you know we all know what an exclamation point means although i'm a big fan of interrobang look that up if you don't know what it is we've been to so many halloween parties and many of those were fairly recent actual lifestyle events even if we weren't even if they weren't branded as such it was just the crowd that happened to attend and the jello shots were always readily available and reliable and of high alcohol content this is what i want to say about jello shots those fuckers will sneak up on you like you think you think a couple of jello shots but later let me tell you big on jello shots i don't like them yeah let me tell you jello shots oh those they will sneak up on you they always taste like ass well actually they don't they taste like over vodka drinks i would also just like to say that yandy.com literally right now just sent me an email saying casual hot halloween costume ideas god love yandy and their timing wait it's almost like it's halloween all right there was one party where i dressed as a dapper devil and we were in line behind a lady who was sporting a strap-on dildo under her skirt i've never seen that before interactive costume yeah carry on if i was if i was trying to stay in character there was an extremely good chance i would have dropped to my knees and sucked it right there when she when she popped it out to show us and possibly later during the party. I understand that's kind of a reaction. Anyway, a couple of years ago, a friend demonstrated her ability to squirt some 20 or 30 times in a row while being shot by a Ten's wand, no less. That's quite a party. I mean, that's a Halloween party. It's also some sort of golden shower, some sort of golden shower party. Yeah, wow. One lady, and I believe it was at the same party, went as Captain Underpants. Fucking love it. Everybody at this party seems like they're just going all out. No shirt or no bra, of course, because that would have been out of character. I like it. Captain Underpants. That's an easy one for the ladies out there as well, and for the men, actually. I just don't have the piss-stained Y-fronts required for Captain Underpants. I need to get some yellow and stain up in front of some Y-fronts. No. First, I need to buy some Y-fronts. No. No? Hard pass. Well, it'll be a soft pass. Oh, God. I recall one year when I dressed up in a sexy red dress. I don't normally cross-dress, but sorry so that's a uh that's a guy there obviously don't normally trust cross dress but it was a time it was a fun time it's worth noting my wife has demanded i never shave my legs again though yeah that's interesting i've never shaved my legs i've never done that and i think i've i've heard it's a bit of a rite of passage to understand how sexy, smooth legs feel on yourself. You've waxed, no? No, fuck no. You've never removed the hair from your legs?
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker1:
Well, only the bottom third that are polished from years of wearing fucking business socks, but other than that. I don't understand why I find that so hard to believe for you. Have you seen how much fucking hair I've got on my legs? I just assumed that at some point in your life you would have. It's like a six-day expedition with a whippersnapper i'll be like and there'd be lions and tigers running out of there going you're destroying your home yeah i'll be like fucking mowing it'd be like mowing down the amazon forest seriously the increase in the carbon footprint would be horrible hey listen to this though going rolling back to the rolling back to the shot. So Fireball and Cherry Jell-O is delicious, and you put the whipped cream on top. Yeah, I don't like Fireball, though. I actually, that sounds delicious. And I don't think I've ever had Cherry Jelly before. Yes, you have. Oh, wait. Everyone who's got a grandma has had Cherry Jelly. Are you serious? Well, thanks, buddy, because did I have a grandmother? No. Good point. Okay, so maybe you didn't have cherry jelly. Yeah. Cherry jelly, yeah. Fireball and cherry jelly with whipped cream. Yeah, but I mean, it's fireball, cinnamon. You know what? I'm jack of what's happening right now. We really want to just, like, do something else. So I might. I mean, it's almost 9 a.m. I might see if I can go find some fireball and some cherry jelly and make my own little shots of the day. That wouldn't surprise me. What, did I just get pissed? What's today? It's today, Tuesday, Wednesday? Wednesday at 9 a.m. Kate is on the Terps. Yes, that's not a surprise. Yep. No, not at all. No, not at all. Yeah. Not at all. Not at all. Not even once, not even one eyebrow, even slightly raised. Yeah, I agree. I agree with the rules from earlier, from Kelly and Keith, love them. Look, Halloween, I love going to Halloween lifestyle parties. I absolutely love it. I think everybody's in good spirits. I think everybody's super pumped and excited. And like Daryl said earlier, it's a great way to interact with people. And having a costume, and I've always said this, when you go to a lifestyle party, if you're feeling a little bit nervous anyway, just a standard a standard one you know have something that's a little bit different on whatever it is that you're wearing the outfit because honestly that's going to help you to open up conversation where people want to approach you and it gives you a talking point for other people as well so i'm i'm all for it i think people in good spirits in halloween i like it and i'm very very sad we're not going to anything this year yeah well i mean you know trying not to kill people but okay well you know i'm the super spreader so you are uh mark sexy is giving me shit here on the chat he just said that i was created rather than born and that explains a lot yes it does explain a lot you should see the test tube that she's come out that she came out of it was like dirty it was a dirty test tube that's a good looking test tube what's those memes where it's like god's creating somebody and then has the awesome the awesome bit the awesome sauce and then it's like whoops too much i think the humor sauce he may have decided to skip after pouring in too much awesome don't need that throw that out let's uh let's quickly share some other things that's going on with us at the moment so we have a couple that we've been talking to we've played with them once and we've had we've met them now three times i think and look they're not really they don't seem to be quite interested and i don't understand hang on back up back it up there okay back it up all right that's not what you were going to talk about what you were going to talk about is the fact that they're not being terribly responsive when it comes to the conversation in the group chat. No, and that's what I was going to think. Yeah, but you've totally mind bombed. Oh, okay. I'm creating a bias with my personal opinion. Yes, with your personal bias. All right, it's fine. Let me back it up. You're inflicting your bias upon others, and we've discussed how that's not okay. We were recently discussing whether or not it seems like a lack of interest or a lack of conversation might then feel like it's a lack of interest, you know, like if you're not really talking on a chat. So we have a four-way chat going. Actually, we have a three-way chat going because she's never been part of the chat. It is like, what, a week between texting? Like we'll write something to to them and it takes about four to five days to kind of hear back roughly roughly i guess and you know you'll you'll ask a question or something and then it'll take a couple of days to get back or it'll be like hey let's catch up and then it'll be like four or five days to get back and or and then just complete topic change and it and it was interesting because we were sat at the dining room table the other day talking about this particular couple and Daryl was like, look, what do we want to do about this? You know, do we want to keep talking to them or do we want to not just kind of like just not talk to them anymore or fade away or whatever?
Speaker2:
Just not. Just not.
Speaker1:
Just not do it. And it was interesting because I turned to Daryl and I said, look, the way that I look at this particular relationship is that it's not one of those relationships where they are very communicative and I don't have expectations on these people. And what mean by that if we had a couple that we engage with pretty regularly and they were performing or having this exact same mentality that these people seem to have I would be pretty pissed at those other people or I'd be upset or I'd be feeling like they weren't interested purely because of the fact that I have expectations on that other couple's behavior whereas these people I'm like'm like, look, I don't have any expectations on these people. Like clearly that's the relationship we're going to have and it is what it is. So is that though because your standards have changed because you've been living in Singapore for a long enough period and realised that the pool of individuals that we're interested in here is kind of shallow? Is that the reason? You're shallow, motherfucker. Well, yes. Yes, it is, actually. Thank you, Mrs. Obvious. Yeah, it is. And actually, and this is about adapting and changing your swing style. This fits in really nicely with it because of the fact that, yeah, if this was back four years ago. Wow, we've gone from a really upbeat topic to something that's just fucking horrific. It's not horrific. But four years ago, definitely I probably would have thought, look, we're not going to spend energy on that, we're going to move on because we want people that are going to be a bit more communicative and kind of cool to catch up on a random night to go wine tasting or whatever. It's interesting, and yes, I absolutely agree with what you said. Yes, my interests, my desires, my expectations have definitely changed since we've moved to Singapore. The Bedhoppers just made a good point and this is this kind of it's the bedhoppers this is what i wanted to tie back into is that to a certain they said to a certain extent the level of interaction can be taken as a level of interest and we all want to feel wanted right question mark then that's what i'm saying guys like does that lack of communication does that then translate over to a lack of interest? You know, they're not really interested in getting to know us very much or they don't want to set aside time for us. How do you feel about it, Daryl? Well, I think I've already put my stamp on this and just said, well, you know, did we just respond and if they never respond then we fade into the shadows. Fade into the mist? Yeah. I don't intend on perpetually trying to keep a one-sided relationship alive. That's not how I roll, babe. You know that. But they do respond at just like four days later or whatever. Yeah, sorry, I would consider that a non-response. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you could literally send them a fucking mail, a snail mail, like in an envelope to their house, have them fill fill it out and send it back and it would be less than the time it takes them to return a text so like i'm not i'm not being uh i'm not being mean here in terms of timing we've all got things that sometimes slow down our lives kids family whatever else is going on in your life but you know when when it takes longer than snail mail for you to return a text message shit's gotten pretty real okay no that's fair enough i know it's fair enough all right guys so that has been our halloween lifestyle spooktacular i'm like i don't know i don't know what i'm actually going to call this no idea but uh really appreciate it's been called the spooktacular now so if the simpson gets hold of it it's just too fucking late so you know yeah it is what it is it is what it is i hate that saying. I know, it. It's been called the Spooktacular now. So if the Simpsons gets older, but it's just too fucking late. So, you know. Yeah. It is what it is. It is what it is. I hate that saying. I know. It's the number one most hated saying in business. It is. It's very hated. I hate it. It is what it is. It just makes me want to, like, stab people. Yeah. Really appreciate you guys joining us on the live chat this morning. I don't at all. You don't at all. That's not true, you butt face. Yes, I do do i do appreciate you all coming along and thank you very much for uh being part of my wake-up call this morning yes all right guys thank you so much appreciate the hell out of you and we will see you soon enjoy your halloween um for those of you get to experience the hallow event, look, just go fuck yourselves. Or other people, go fuck other people. Or go fuck other people. Try those fireball and cherry jelly shots with the whipped cream. I just can't get past fireball. Why is it so cinnamon-y? That's how it's built. I know, because it's made from cinnamon. I get that. I mean, I don't want to state the obvious here. I can only imagine. Maybe next time I can go as Captain Underpants and you can go as Captain Obvious. Okay, bye, guys. See you. Have a good day. If you're looking for more ways to interact with Swinging Down Under, you can catch us on Twitter at Swing Down Under. You can also catch us on Instagram, Swinging Down Under, or head over to our website, SwingingDownUnder.com. We would absolutely love to hear from you, so if you would like to send us an email, jump online, do it at cnd at swingingdownunder.com. If you've got podcast topics, questions, you want to talk about your journey, you can also support the podcast through our website by clicking through on any of the affiliate links or alternatively to jumping over to patreon.com forward slash swingingdownunder and sponsoring the podcast. 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