Swinging Lifestyle + Hotwife Lifestyle Podcast - Wanderlust Swingers Podcast
Today I'm interviewing Mr Dutchie, one half of an amazing couple that live in the Netherlands that we met through reddit of all places.
We're talking about the different approaches to nonmonogamy in Europe and how Mr and Mrs Dutchie have navigated their lifestyle journey.
Swinging In The Netherlands
Mr Dutchie walks us through their experience visiting one of the biggest clubs in Europe (Fun4Two), how culturally diverse this club is and what to expect.
We share a story or two about their adventures at Fun4Two over New Years and how consent can be gained through body language....
Mentioned in this episode
- Fun4Two Swingers Club Netherlands https://www.fun4two.nl/
- Fata Morgana Swingers Club Netherlands https://www.fata-morgana.nl/
- SDC Dating Site https://www.sdc.com/?ref=32122
- Big Little Secrets BLS - https://biglittle-secrets.nl/en/
- Caviar De La Nuit https://www.caviardelanuit.com/
Swingers Events
We've got a brand new webpage with the global swingers events listed that we are hosting, attending or recommend. If you're looking for Swingers Events around the world, head over to our website https://www.swingingdownunder.com/swingers-events/
Support us
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Visit our website for videos, blogs, podcasts, newsletters and swinging lifestyle resources. https://www.swingingdownunder.com
Love, Peace and Respect
C D
Transcript
you're listening to the wanderlust swingers podcast with aussie hosts kate and daryl if you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging hot wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle you've definitely come to the right podcast or maybe you just love travel adventures either way we share our personal sometimes juicy sexy stories as well as swingers club and event reviews interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has.
We hope you enjoy, now let's get into the episode. Hey everyone and welcome back to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. I'm kate i'm your host for this evening and i'm joined actually in studio i use the term studio very loosely because welcome to my office with a fabulous friend here mr dutchy who is a obviously a dutchman from the netherlands welcome to the show thank you kate i am delighted. Long time listener, first time guest. It's really funny actually having somebody on the podcast physically here in person. Normally it's a Zoom call.
So this is actually lovely because I imagine editing is going to be a breeze for me. Today we are going to be talking about Euroswinging. So I'm going to title this Dutchie Talks Euroswinging.
We're going to be talking about everything about swinging in europe we're going to get a mr dutchy his take on their journey because of course mrs dutchy is absent today we do love her but unfortunately she was unable to join us tonight but a shout out to mrs dutchy and we're going to talk about cultural differences approaches here in the netherlands in europe in general so we really hope that you enjoy the episode. We're going to go off on tangents, as we like to do. But before we kind of crack on, let's talk about personal experiences.
If you want to share with us what drew you to the lifestyle? Why are you in the lifestyle? Oh, great. Great question. It started actually maybe 10 years ago when Mrs.
Dutchy came home after a party and she confessed to me hey mr dutchy i kissed a girl and i liked it i don't think i actually know that i thought this journey was you know i'm not gonna butt in keep keep going keep going this is this is actually a little bit new to me pre-story to the story so she felt guilty because she had kissed a girlfriend and she was expecting me to maybe be angry or disappointed for her kissing someone else. And I was actually very interested and curious about what happened. So I didn't feel that her kissing another woman was a threat. So I didn't feel threatening.
And then we talked about, hey, what happened? And talked about bisexuality and her being bisexual. And then we talked about exploring that part of her person. Some more talked about it. And then we gave some room for it. And she actually started to have a couple of dates with some, some ladies. I was okay with that. And it was a couple of years later that we just happened to see an ad for a swingers club. And that triggered a conversation between the two of us about, hey, you know, what would it be like if we would go and are we okay with this? We get this question a lot.
If your partner comes and discusses something with you, sometimes people are exploring and, you know, looking into the lifestyle themselves, you know, researching, listening to podcasts, maybe for some time before they approach their partner that's obviously one way that it might happen yours was a little bit different she came home I'm just going to fill in the blanks maybe had a couple of cocktails getting a bit flirty on the dance floor or something like that kiss kiss to work illegal kiss to friend and you were open to it I mean if you were to give somebody advice about how they can be accepting when their partner comes with that information, because sometimes I would imagine you could kind of flip your lid and maybe become a very emotional conversation.
But you obviously were very cool, calm and collected and I'm guessing a little bit excited.
So any advice for people out there if they were in a similar situation, how you remained so loving, open to having the conversation the conversation yeah i think it's about recognizing the first emotions you have and then giving a place to those emotions but don't let let yourself be led by those emotions and think about okay so what actually happened here how important is it to us what are truly things that are important in our relationship what's the difference between the rules that society expects from us and the rules that we want to set for ourselves in our own lives?
Which we will be digging into soon because we are later going to be talking about some stigma in society. So that's a really nice lead in. How long ago was that first club visit? That was about seven years ago. Seven years ago. Okay.
If you guys were going to explain your approach now, because you started kind of having maybe mrs dutchy was going out and enjoying some ladies then you went to the club now you're maybe dealing with couples same sex opposite sex how would you express your approach now how do you like to meet other people what would that look like for you guys and i use the term socio-sexual a lot on the podcast if you're not sure about what that means listener generally it means that maybe you'd like to meet other people? What would that look like for you guys?
And I use the term socio-sexual a lot on the podcast. If you're not sure about what that means, listener, generally it means that maybe you'd like to have more of a social connection, pants on, pants off friends. Yeah, so our approach today is maybe not even that different from the first time that we went. So we both enjoy sex and we also happen to really love exploring more sexual experiences with other people. I think even before our first visit, we felt at least at a certain level comfortable that we would be able to explore this with other people. And we still do that today.
In our experience, the best sex that we've had is with people where we also have a great emotional and mental connection. That's really the best of both worlds. Random follow-up question. Have you purchased more sex toys both for him and for her now that you've been in the lifestyle in the last seven years, would you say? Yeah, I think so. So it's much easier for us to talk about sex and then to just go into a shop or online and buy stuff. So we've purchased the Womanizer, right? I think another brand is Satisfyer, which is the best thing since sliced bread.
Which is saying something for a Dutch person because you guys love your sandwiches. It's really the best toy ever.
You just mentioned before that you you like exploring so have you been exploring sex toys on yourself is that something that has come into your own play in the bedroom or even on a personal level maybe you've purchased your own sex toys for self-pleasure yeah we've purchased some but to be honest i haven't found any particular toy that really did it for me oh yeah throwing it out there then for the listeners if you have a favorite male penis owning uh sex toy please send us an email let us know what mr dutch you should buy next yes please let's put you on the hot seat if you've been a long-time listener or a listener at all you know that i like to put my guests on a hot seat ask them some slightly personal questions so let's get carried away with yours and let's talk about sex when did you have your first experience with another person and can you explain the sensation how you felt and a follow-up to that is do you still have that same feeling now versus maybe seven years ago first time we went to the the club we went to the fun for two in the netherlands near rotterdam which is a huge club i think when we went on a saturday night and there were maybe 200 200 couples Thank you.
for two in the netherlands near rotterdam which is a huge club i think when we went on a saturday night and there were maybe 200 200 couples visiting and on the dance floor we met another couple our age and we immediately had a great connection with them talking and dancing we had so many laughs so there was it was immediate connection and at the same time we also felt a really flirty sexual connection so after lots of drinks and a short trip to the jacuzzi we went up to the one of the playrooms and that's where we i had my first experience with another woman while in a relationship and it was absolutely incredible experience it was so hot and so sexy not just for myself but also being right next to Thank you.
and that was absolutely incredible experience it was so hot and so sexy not just for myself but also being right next to mrs dutchy and her being involved with me also with the other guy but also with the mother lady and that was just an amazing mind-blowing experience it was so hot and so sexy and at the same time it was also first time i saw her actually having sex with another man that felt a bit weird for a couple of seconds so i do remember the first time that i actually saw it that it was a kind of a weird mix of emotions like what like excitement feeling did you feel guilt did you feel possessive what did that like i should be i should be feeling upset about this but i'm somehow not like confused yeah so i think a mix of a little bit possessiveness and confusion but because there was so much respect between the four of us that feeling went away really quickly and just joy of seeing your partner have a lot of joy that is just great yeah it's my partner i want her to be happy and i saw her in a very happy position when i was writing the show notes for this i was of course reflecting on some personal stories and i don't know if you've actually listened or heard the story of our first time swapping so i'll share it with you but we were in one of our favorite clubs in australia which is called our secret spot and it's in sy in Sydney and they used to they don't anymore they used to have a sex swing in one of the rooms and we found this couple that we kind of connected with we went upstairs for some reason and I don't quite remember the why but it was going to be that Daryl was going to play with her myself and her partner were on the bed just kind of watching so I don't know quite we ended up in that dynamic.
And the reason I don't remember that is because I was, I have it kind of pinned in my memory of the first time he slid his cock into her pussy. Like I, I remember sitting back with the partner and there was a lot of like, are you okay? Checking in, you know, Daryl was, she was in a swing. We were on the bed and the swing kind of sat right next to the bed and I remember Daryl just about to insert his cock and I remember having the conversation of like, is this good? Like, are we okay?
There was this very step, almost a stepwise process to it but I don't think you'll ever get that first realisation and those feelings of that confusion and like, actually it's quite hot but it's also very confusing't I don't know whether you'll ever get that first moment back again that was our first experience and so I didn't actually play that night at all it was completely Daryl playing with her and me watching uh with the with the other partner so it's kind of a I guess a slightly unique perspective because sometimes I think that in a lifestyle we might take things a little bit easier if we're also slightly engaged with somebody, less kind of, you know, less kind of running through things in our head, less cerebral.
But in that moment, all I could be was cerebral. So yeah, it's a little story about us. Okay. So let's talk about cultural differences. Just before maybe we get into this, can you give us a rundown? You've swung in the Netherlands and I know that you've been to some other locations.
So maybe can you just give us a rundown you've swung in the netherlands and i know that you've been to some other locations so maybe can you just give us a rundown of where you have visited clubs or events sure most of our experience is in in the netherlands but we've had the opportunity to visit two clubs in the uk we've been to the boudoir in london it was a a great experience And recently we joined the hotel and club takeover that you were organized co-hosted with bet hoppers and that was i think the best organized event i've ever seen in the lifestyle and that's just because you're sitting in my studio right now that you're saying that yeah and you've been to events in belgium i know you visited a club in italy so let's talk about maybe the netherlands you're you're dutch obviously you were born here you've grown up here how would you describe the cultural attitude towards non-monogamy and then maybe outside of that a little bit to alternative relationships or just generally like the lgbt community do you think that people are more accepting in the netherlands than maybe what you see on other locations and obviously if you haven't lived in them maybe just from your thoughts and opinions on mainstream media what's happening around the world how do you feel like the dutch population accepts who we are sitting in this room well i'm here in the podcast as mr dutchy i'm not here with my own name so we are still in the closet uh the fact that we're in the lifestyle is a secret to other people.
We've only shared this with a very few intimate friends. And that's because we see a risk of plot shaming, especially for Mrs. Dutchie. And that might impact either the friendships that we have or family relations or maybe how we can perform at work. So I would say non-monogamy even though you read a lot about it right now we fear it's not as accepted as we would like to see it.
So I live in the country as a foreigner so my perspective very different from you growing up right so when I walk around the Netherlands here what I see in summer I see women being topless on the canals and I think wow body positivity cool I see pride flags being hung year-round regardless of whether it's pride month or not just year-round and I see acceptance there so from a from a foreigner's perspective I come into the Netherlands and I'm like I can be whoever I want to be but that maybe is a little bit different to what you're saying which is i think there's an undertone maybe on friends and family accepting who you would be like would that be ever something that you would want to come out with do you feel the need to try and maybe in a couple of years is that kind of on your five-year plan like hell yeah if in a perfect world i would love to come out oh yeah definitely and i think we are already getting more open about it so we are telling more and more friends about it yeah maybe also in the deadlands we might be more open to it as compared to other countries or cultures but still not to the to the point that we feel that it's not having any negative effects on us probably continue to to care less and less about those negative consequences and just come out i have a follow-up question to that because this is my personal behavior when i travel when you travel and you maybe are going into another country and you're going to a nice weekend away or something like this or visit the country or visit vineyards or whatever or you're at a resort wherever you are do you feel yourself becoming completely more open like i know you went to vegas a little while ago are you sitting in a bar in vegas just like going hell yeah this is who we are because you kind of feel that's where you can truly just almost not give a fuck do you do you do that or is that just me oh yeah definitely yeah yes so if i meet strangers and there won't be any any repercussions yeah oh yeah definitely and yeah we we drop that bomb daryl used to take the piss out of me i he'd find me sitting at the front of a bar in bangkok or something having a conversation with a couple of people like you hell yeah i'm a swinger you know and he's like that's why do you go on vacation and just leave your best life?
All right, so let's compare some of the different cultures. You mentioned before that you have been to the Winter Wonderland party. So I'm going to directly compare the Netherlands to the UK right now just because, you know, they're close. It's a close flight away and, you know, we can take the piss out of them if we want to. In your experience between here and now visiting two clubs in the UK and attending event, what do you think is the noticeable difference between the culture and approach to swinging here versus maybe in the UK? Did you notice anything different?
Yeah, I noticed some differences. So most of our experience is with the Fun for Two club in the Netherlands. And it's our favorite. The way to meet people there is really on the dance floor. We like dancing. We also like the electronic dance music that's being played. So that's really the way that we typically run into people, have a chat, and then see if there's a connection or not. Both our visits to the UK, we've noticed that that approach for us does not work. Might be us because we're super, super tall, freakishly, freakishly tall Dutch people.
So maybe some people in the UK might be hesitant to approach us or to respond to us. But in the UK, we noticed that the connection happens more maybe in a sitting down at the bar or in a sitting down area, or which was great in the event that you organized before the actual club visit with the room crawl or the drinks at the bar beforehand.
Which is interesting because every time I hold an event quite often we hire DJs and some of them can be very expensive and when I don't see people dancing it personally makes me feel like I'm I've failed as an event host because for me the element of dancing like for you it's about connection for me it is a way of saying oh these people are having fun if people are sitting around and having a conversation there's a part of my brain that goes they're doing that because the music's shit or they hate the atmosphere or they're not dancing or whatever the reality of that in a lot of different locations is actually they're making connections and it took me a very long time to realize that's that's a really interesting perspective especially around the winter wonderland because I thought that people moved to the playrooms very quickly at that particular event and I know you and I had a conversation and said actually it was maybe a little bit slower than what you've seen in say the fun for two so yeah interesting kind of cultural differences there if you were to go back to the UK now knowing these differences, would you now approach things differently as a result of that?
Or would you kind of continue your behavior and hope that people also want to have a dance? But maybe if they don't, go, okay, we'll kind of have a chat. If we go to the UK, we'll probably try to invest a bit more time in connecting with people at the bar area or before the party starts instead of on the dance floor itself.
Well, the other way to connect to people is just by going to the playrooms as a couple and see who you meet there that also has also been successful with us i mean it's a more direct way slutty way of meeting people in a good way but for us it also we've had a great time in the in the boudoir that way so you know our motto is if we go to such a party and we start with the two of us and we end with the two of us we already had a great time and anything on top of that is is just a bonus well we're going to talk about events now so we're going to push back on the hot seat and we're going to talk about events because i know that you have been to some exclusive events here and we're going to talk about how maybe some of the cultural differences exist, but maybe how some of the intertwining exists in sex positivity space in general.
You've attended some events here in the Netherlands. I know you went to Belgium, kind of more higher-end, curated, specific guest list. Curious about those events, what you think worked with those, if there's any interesting rules that maybe some of our global listeners might be interested in. Yeah, we had the pleasure of going to two different parties. One was called Big Little Secrets in Amsterdam. The other one is called Caviar de la Nuit in Antwerp. And both of them are, well, exclusive in the sense that you have to submit your picture and then you get accepted or not.
It's also a different type of event as compared to a swingers club. So I would characterize it more as an erotic dance party than a swingers party. The dress code is different from the clubs we've been to in the Netherlands. Women are expected to wear lingerie and the guys, they suit up. So it's a very gendered type of dress code. Is that from the minute that you walk through the door or is that from a specific point in the evening? So do ladies turn up in a robe and then just kind of de-robe and they're in their lingerie or how is that going to play out? Yeah, that's from the start.
From the start of the evening, women are in lingerie, men in suits, and there is a dress coat on top of that. So, for example, if there's a certain color that you need to adhere to, that's also important. In both of those events, there were some playrooms available, but most of the people don't make use of them.
So either there is an after party in the hotel that people go to or they just have a great time dancing and that's it, maybe some some kissing so the focus is most more on the erotic part of it the flirting and the dancing and not not as much on the on the sex as you would see in the swingers clubs at the one hand it radiates the air of exclusivity right that's also how they market themselves as they say oh it's only the most beautiful people and the the way the event is organized and the club is decorated and the I'm going to take a look. exclusivity, right?
That's also how they market themselves as to say, oh, it's only the most beautiful people. And the way the event is organized and the club is decorated and the quality of the DJs is just extremely high quality. At the same time, it also feels discriminatory in the same way. So I also feel bad for people I believe are beautiful that do not get selected.
and obviously would you select on appearance right so part of it is I think age but also looks we were lucky to get accepted we had a great time but at the same time it also feels a bit weird and with those erotic parts more maybe for some people it's about being seen I also think that quite a share of people are not actually actually swingers but they just like to go to an erotic party and dance around in their underwear all of the of the clubs out there in the Netherlands I think you have your swingers clubs but there's also more the clubs that are more like a sauna like Steamworks in Arnhem and then of the parties I think it's more blurring between the swingers parties erotic parties and dance parties so we also like to go to music festivals or music parties with some really nice electronic dance music from great djs but there's parties like crazy land wasteland or bitch which blur the lines between fetish swinger erotic and dance parties and you see overlapping crowds so the reason that we got to know caviar de la nuit was actually by coincidentally meeting some other swingers at a regular vanilla dance party we were kind of joking at the dance dates looking at a couple of people saying hey those people might be swingers because we saw people kissing each other and we just went up to them and asked them hey are you swingers and they said yes so we've found our tribe and that's how we kind of found out about the other types of parties that exist i think there's something you said about dance parties and the overlap of freedom i mentioned to you before about going to another country going on a vacation and feeling like you can be yourself and more free right sometimes at festivals music festivals dance parties you get i mean immersed i mean that's what a good festival immerses you in the atmosphere correct and i think that's maybe why some people are more inclined to then go you know what i'm out in public but actually today i'm just a number there's nobody here keeping eyes on me and i can truly be who i want to be i totally agree it's like what uh what happens at a dutch dance party stays at a dutch dance party i love that that should be the next tagline on the 2024 mystery land uh advertisement interesting side fact is that we actually got rejected from one of these parties you mentioned to me about a party and it looked great and i think we were were here for the weekend so I thought, fantastic, let's see about going.
And Daryl and I applied and we got rejected which was an interesting sensation. It's not something that's ever happened to us before and it feels cruddy and I think it feels probably the same to be rejected by a company as it does to maybe be rejected by a couple on a dating site. But yeah, we got rejected and And so I think that's just one of those things where it happens. I mean, it does make you reflect on whether or not you submitted shitty photos or whether you didn't say the right thing or could you have another go? I don't know.
I'm curious whether they actually do let people reapply for a second time around. That would be an interesting... Well, you can try with a different email address, different name.
There you go should try it with some uh some ai can help me out there well we felt so bad when we heard about you not getting accepted because when we actually went to them to the the event itself and we just looked at the people were like well you know this would be perfect for you as well you're not different anyway then maybe they they saw we were smart ass aussies and they just went you know what keep them out keep the riffraff out of the club they don't want to strain against them maybe so we're going to talk about new years and you kind of dropped the bomb on this a little bit beforehand because i know you've seen the notes that are sitting in front of you but putting you back on the hot seat and you mentioned earlier about liking to form some connections before you might move on to play but I happen to also know you on a personal level and I also happen to bear witness to you playing on New Year's so let's talk a little bit about that play so I know on New Year's you had multiple play sessions one one of them maybe slightly planned ish, and then one of them a little bit more spare of the moment.
So talk to us about maybe changing and being a little bit more diverse in your approach. And I'm curious whether or not you are just, and I'm saying you in the broad you, because Mrs.
Dutchie isn't here right now, or whether when you you go to a club maybe your mindset changes a little bit and you turn from socio-sexual mr and mrs dutchy into slutty mick sluttenstein mr and mrs dutchy when you go to a club let's talk about that two years eve was really the best the best evening ever so we started out meeting this most amazing couple on the dance floor and we had a great talk and we were flirting and one thing led to another and we just had a great play session with the four of us and that was more of the the social sexual type of play session and i'm actually i want a timeline here just because i really want the listener to you got to the club at nine you lined up you entered right when was the first play session oh i think that was around half an hour after midnight 12 30 we met this uh this amazing couple around 11 at night so we had a great talk and a dance we had some champagne we had to count down until midnight and celebrated the the new year but we're also like okay we feel a four-way connection here it's time to go upstairs how did you make that that move from dancing on the dance floor to moving to the playrooms it started with a kiss so i felt i really had a connection with her but she also had a connection with mrs touchy and mrs touchy had connection with the gentleman.
So at a certain point, I just asked her, can I kiss you? And then she looked at her gentleman to check, hey, is this okay? So we did a four-way consent around kissing and then we kissed on the dance floor. So that was already kind of the test that we know, okay, we have this level of intimacy. We trust each other. This will end up in a play session. So that was already before midnight. So I think the four of us couldn't wait for 2024 to start because we were like, okay, we just want to be. We're just dancing now, waiting for the countdown. Waiting for the countdown.
It was a countdown to something else.
You were walking around the club, forwarding all the clocks, moving them forward just a little bit to try and get into the play session sooner exactly don't you think it's interesting though those four words can i kiss you i mean we talk a lot about how hard it is to make that next step make that next connection but sometimes four simple words can really be the start of something super fun and sexy and free yeah and consent is sexy and sometimes consent is verbal right can i kiss you may i may i kiss you and sometimes it's more implied right that you kind of with eye contact or the way you move you kind of take the next step but in any way do it with consent that's how it worked we had an amazing play session with the four of us.
In the tantric room? That was not in the tantric room. Actually, it was so busy. I think Fun for Two is one of the biggest clubs in Europe. It was absolutely packed. Yes. 500 people. When we went upstairs to the playrooms, most of the playrooms were actually occupied.
So we had to search for quite a while to find a spot that was open so we had a one of those nice smaller areas where we fit with the four of us and we had a had a great play session we exchanged our contact details afterwards went back to the to the dance floor around i think 2 a.m i looked at mrs dutch here and i asked hey would you like to explore some And at that moment in time, the people who were still dancing on the dance floor, they weren't interested in meeting new people anymore. So we decided just to go up ourselves to the playrooms again and see whether we could find some action.
And this time, did you read? Because I know the reason I keep bringing up the tantric area i know that's your favorite area did you revisit the tantric area was it less packed this time what did you see when you were kind of moving your way around the club or in fact did you indeed do a big circle of the playrooms and very pervertedly look in at all the action and then decide which was the sexiest action area yes and yes well the tantric area is really our favorite place in the whole club it's and then decide which was the sexiest action area. Yes and yes.
Well, the Tantric area is really our favorite place in the whole club. It's a beautiful area to the side that you can reach through a long corridor with some Eastern Orient style, very quiet space. It's beautiful. But we know from experience that that area gets full really quickly. There's like 10 different beds there and they fill up quickly. So we already knew there's no opportunity for us to go there. We'll go there next time.
So we went kind of walking around to see, can we find some people that appear interesting to us and see maybe we can just lie down next to them and see maybe we can have some eye contact or some other contact and see if this would work. But actually walking around at that moment in the evening, we didn't really see any particular places where other people were playing or people that we felt a connection with. So we decided just to pick a spot in the open and started to play with each other.
But strategically in the open though, because you're expecting maybe there's another mr and mrs dutchy who are also pervertedly walking around the playrooms yeah that maybe see us like the look and then come and engage we saw quite a lot of very interesting couples also walking around looking for places so that's another recommendation for people how do i make a connection in a european club just go to one of the more open play areas start to enjoy each other and then you know other people will walk by and it's just a matter of time before other people will say hey that that looks interesting i'm just going to sit next to them enjoy my own partner and then maybe we make a connection i know that you don't know their names i know that because we had a conversation at breakfast the next morning.
So this is where some people in the lifestyle might go, my God, you had sex with people, you don't know their backstory, the name of their dog, you don't know their name. How did that come to be? That's why I called you Slutty McSluttenstein on New Year's. But how did you make that connection, I guess? So you're playing with Mrs. Dutchie, A couple comes and lays down next to you. They start engaging with each other. Run us through, just for the listeners that maybe don't know how this might play out, how you ended up having sex with them. Like, what happened?
The Fun for Two has smaller and bigger play areas. And this was one of the bigger play areas. It's right next to a corridor that lots of people have to walk through in order to get to another section of the club and we just sat down at the side and i started to eat out mrs dutchy which i really enjoy we were playing at the side of the corridor at a certain moment a couple walks by and they saw us and they there's a there was a small pedestal next to the bench where we were having sex. And they started to play on this pedestal. She was lying down, sucking his cock while Mrs.
Dutchie was lying down and I was eating her out. So I had a partial view of what was happening right next to us. I said, hey, that's interesting. So Mrs. Dutchie had a great orgasm. And I said, hey, it's time to change positions.
So then we moved closer to the other couple i bent her over and and at that moment the couple was fucking doggy style we started to fuck doggy style as well with her face together so the ladies could kiss each other and that was kind of also a test of okay do they want to be alone or do they yeah exactly already we already knew that we were attracted to them so so that was a great connection and then it was uh literally almost like universal sign language of the guy making this movement of swapping i nodded yes and then uh we got some condoms and uh then then we swapped wow so that was and then you finished and at this this point, what did you do?
How did you end that play session? Like a handshake? Thank you very much. A hug? Like, what did you guys do? That was brilliant. Thank you so much for the orgasm. And we're going to go back to the dance floor. A hug, definitely. But I was also looking at Mrs. Dutchie and we're kind of already laughing and joking because this was such an incredible experience of actually meeting such a great couple, but not exchanging any words. You know, we kind of thought, OK, so what do we do here? And I thought, OK, should I ask them their names or, you know, we haven't we haven't said anything.
So the only thing I asked is, hey, can I ask you something? Where are you from? And they said, we're from Greece. It's great. Have a great evening. And that's just so you can go home and put the Greek flag up on your kind of collect them all board. Is that correct? We have this scratch map at home and friends think it's about countries we visited. That's actually really funny, the scratch map that people use to say where they've traveled to and you're using it for who you've had sex with around the world. I love that. Where do Daryl and I sit on that map? Are we Australian? Are we now Dutch?
Australian. Okay, we're Australian on that map. Okay. If you haven't had anybody in Singapore, we can maybe fill that gap too because we lived there for like five years. You know, I'm just saying. Great, yeah. If the map needs more scratching. Croatia. Which it brings me up to a really interesting topic, which is based on your experiences, like what advice would you give? So if we've got people who are listening from America, they're listening from Australia, they're listening from the UK, what advice would you give to individuals who want to come to Europe?
And a lot of the questions that I receive are around nationality, they're around around language barriers you just described a very non-language consensual play session so how how would you describe that I mean and first of all how many languages do you guys speak but what is your experience with that do you mainly speak Dutch in the clubs different language do you mean you speak English how is how does that all play, we speak Dutch or English. Most of the people that we connect to on the dance floor are Dutch. It's just easier in your native language to connect to.
My recommendation for people visiting the Netherlands would be to check out the website of the club.
Typically, it has great information about how to behave, what to wear, what to expect and there's many different clubs in the netherlands as well and they have their differences and they have also their different expectations of how how the evening flows so i know a difference between what you have in the club we we typically go to and other clubs is that there's a certain dress down moment so people start the evening in their dance clothes but at a certain point in time at around 11 o'clock some mystery song plays that daryl and i still have no idea we just look around and say are all the dutchy people changing into their lingerie yeah and then the next half hour people go to the lockers and they they dress down which really works for us it's a way to reduce the barriers barriers of getting to the next step.
So sometimes you're meeting a couple and you have a good conversation, but you're both kind of hesitant to ask, hey, are you ready to go to the next level?
And then having this situation that people change into lingerie and boxer shorts, that makes it easier to take the next step so for us that's completely normal but it depends on the club so some clubs clubs have this and some others don't some clubs are couples only some other clubs in the netherlands they do allow single men so it also depends on your preference what you like would you say it would be difficult for an english only speaker to come to the clubs here in the netherlands oh not at all both we've mentioned fun for two another big one is vata morjana near near amsterdam super easy to connect to people i think in most of the nights that we visit our club a large percentage of the visitors are actually from other countries we saw that on new years right i think you said that it was probably the most diverse grouping of people on new years that you've you've seen so far oh definitely yeah if i if i count the nationalities that we've talked to or otherwise have play engaged with have scratched off your map yes exactly it's uh i mean it covers um yeah india mexico u.s greece germany greece uk belgium of course france italy it's it's from all around the world that are visiting these clubs.
So I think people visiting have no problem. And would you recommend that, say, maybe the English speaking person would walk up and just say, hey, I'm sorry, do you speak English? Say they see somebody, they think they're attractive. Hey, I'm sorry, do you speak English? Would that be if you were to meet somebody, maybe you and Mrs. Dutchie on the dance floor, a couple comes up, how would you like to be approached if they were English only speaking? That would be no problem.
Most people in the Netherlands, they speak English and they have no problem at all with people approaching them in English. Yeah, as we get ready to wrap up here, let's talk about your future predictions and perspectives, I guess. So we spoke about maybe how you perceive the Netherlands, how I as a foreigner perceive the Netherlands, which I got to be honest, does sound like rainbows, lollipops and candy canes and really positive vibes. You know, when when I think about places we've lived, Croatia, Singapore, Australia, the difference in how I perceive the people of the land.
And, you know, here I honestly have to have to say like I really feel in my core that anything's accepted and I think Daryl really has to remind me that that's not the case you know he has to remind me that not everybody accepts who I am either as a bisexual woman or as a non-monogamous woman you know that it's just not as accepting as I think it is in my little non-monogamous bubble but can you maybe talk about the future do you think that we're heading especially with social media with things like that with trends bisexuality trans uh gay saunas all of this do you think that we're heading in a direction that's more accepting here in the netherlands do you think that we hope the future lends itself to maybe you said before you said earlier in the episode that you know ideally and mrs dutchy would like to come out to more more friends more people around you what do you think what are your future predictions i think the trend is towards more openness i think also probably we don't know how lucky we are in living in the netherlands right we only know our own context and we see the downsides and the upsides but it's difficult to compare to living in other countries and so i think you're right that in in the netherlands people are probably more open and accepting what we've seen over the last couple of years is more openness and acceptance of men being open about their bisexuality or being bicurious i think when we started that was really almost non-existent in the lifestyle.
But now we see that in meeting new people, it's kind of part of the conversation is right. Okay. What are your preferences? What are your boundaries? And you see more and more men saying, Hey, I have no issue with men to men intimacy, or even saying, Hey, I'm bisexual.
Is that reflected in the dating profiles that you see as well so you're saying that you're having the conversation which i mean is i assume is when you're meeting them for a date i think it's easier to have that conversation personally face to face but do you think that's equally reflected in the dating profiles or do you think we're not there yet i see more profiles where men define themselves as bicurious or bisexual. If I look at the SDC profiles, which is the most popular platform in the Netherlands right now.
But I also believe that lots of couples present themselves as being hetero, as a guy and not being open about it. So also with a recent play session that we had i had a conversation with the guy and he was kind of approaching the topic really carefully around saying hey how do you have what what how comfortable are you with intimacy and that was his way of kind of signaling that he was actually bisexual didn't come out saying, hey, I'm bisexual, period. Being afraid that that would scare away other couples. Do you see kind of bisexuality a play in clubs?
Do you see that very often, or is that still pretty rare here in the Netherlands, in your opinion? I think it is pretty rare.
So what you would sometimes see is maybe some men kissing each other or maybe a little you know some some hand jobs and if it's a it's a dark a dark room maybe maybe some some blowjobs but actually by sex is not that common i do have some gay friends it's a lovely couple who of two men who are non monogamous and they have their gay parties that they go to which are i hear their stories and those are incredible parties you get jealous about when they tell you all the stories about how open everybody is well i mean if you have parties of 2 000 persons in a 2 000 person orgy yes that is i think something that we can learn from as a swinger community.
I think in general, I think the gay community is leading the path of talking about consent, about safer sex. Testing. Definitely. Yeah, fashion as well. So you see also some trends, especially for male fashion. It's drawing inspiration from the gay scene.
So that's also something I've seen is less boring clothes for men oh yeah i'm a big fan i always tell um gentlemen in the lifestyle if you want to get some really classy fresh style designer trendy jocks to immediately go to a gay store because those are the best they're for starters they're colorful because most men's jocks in the standard they're're like, navy blue, black, off you go, that's all you need, have a great life. Whereas I think gay men, they've just got it nailed down.
They're like, okay, if I'm going to go to a 2,000-person orgy and I take my pants off, I want to have a bit of pizzazz. I don't want to walk in there with my navy standard trunks. So I agree with that.
And otherwise, I think, especially in to swingers clubs in the netherlands it's still a different world from the gay or or bisexual scene but i think it's the boundaries are blurring also with the erotic parties is blurring more and more to close this out then would you say that the netherlands that dutch people approach sex entirely different than anybody else would you say that they're more open would you say that they're more focused on maybe uh down to fuck would you say they want to dance more like I don't know.
sex entirely different than anybody else would you say that they're more open would you say that they're more focused on maybe uh down to fuck would you say they want to dance more like if you're going to wrap it up in a nice neat bow with what you see in the clubs here how would you how would you explain that to somebody listening for the first time i think the the dutch really have an attitude to fun and dancing so the the dutch have an excellent electronic dance music scene and you really see this infusing also the swingers clubs. So there's lots of movement, dancing, and fun.
That's, I think, really key and also helps it to have easier connections with other people if you go out to a swingers club in the Netherlands. Fantastic. Well, thank you very much, Mr. Duchy, for joining us today. Again, I do want to give a shout out, give a mention to Mrs. Duchy. She's not here. She is lovely. Thank you very much for joining us, talking about the cultural differences, talking about your experiences. We really appreciate it. Thank you.
