Are you curious about the Swinging Lifestyle? Are you wondering what kinds of people participate in the sex positive, alternative relationship that swinging can offer?
In this episode we share our stories of being an age gap couple in the swinging lifestyle and bring along some friends for the ride. We interview Tippy and Mike Honcho who are also an age couple gap couple about barriers, stigmas and some very sexy positives that can come along from having a different age.
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Transcript
You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. G'day guys and welcome to episode 109 of the Swinging Down Under podcast. Daryl, what is the start date today? Three. We'll be right back. happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. G'day guys and welcome to episode 109 of the Swinging Down Under podcast. Daryl, what is the stardate today? Three.
Now is the stardate relevant to today's episode for the whole length of the episode if people are listening to this in three years time or is it just relevant to today, right now, just second at this minute? It's actually not relevant at all. There's no reference to stardate. It's not really a thing. I'm glad you're finally admitting it. Oh no, it's a thing for me. It just may not be a thing for our podcast. Okay, so today's episode we are... It's a very weird thing though. We've made it to 100 and now back to 3. Okay, that's good. I like it. Today's episode is all about age gap couples.
So we actually spent some time interviewing Mike Concho and Tippy. So we just wanted to give those guys a bit of a shout out there. ACDC on Twitter, and you can hear us reference that later in the podcast. But we did talk about some of the barriers, some of the perception, the stigma, all related to being an age gap couple. And some of the successes as well, I might add. And some of the successes, absolutely. I mean, a little miss negative over here. Little miss negative, Nellie, of being an age gap couple in the lifestyle. Don't do that again. Don't do it? No. Okay.
And so we went through some of the things that we've experienced. And Daryl and I are a 10-year age gap couple.
And lifestyle again don't do it no okay and so we went through some of the the things that we've experienced daryl and i are a 10 year age gap couple and tippy and mike are a 20 year age gap couple pretty pretty interesting conversation i thought all around you had to disappear though daryl i did i you know unfortunately had this whole work thing that interrupted my social life yeah i stayed on for about an hour and a half after the podcast just chatting away so there is that yeah that. Yeah, well, I mean, you are a talker. That's true. So we hope that you enjoyed today's episode.
Please give Mike and Tippi a shout out, a hello, a thank you for their time on Twitter, if you can. And you can find that down in the show notes. But otherwise, again, want to thank them for their time coming on the podcast today. And if you guys out there have a topic you'd like us to cover, talk about, or even if you want to be on our podcast, just drop us an email. You can't, so nah. Drop us an email on our website or drop us a voicemail there as well. But otherwise, let's get into the episode today. Yay. Hi, guys, and welcome back. We are here with Tippi and Mike Concho.
Yes, you heard that correctly, Mike Concho, which I have just been told was a reference out of a movie talladega nights and uh apparently that was a porn porn name so not porn just sex just sex videos videos not necessarily porn right yeah so we're here with tippy and mike and uh they're from the usa and they're going to talk to us about being an age gap couple welcome to the podcast guys hello hi thank you so much for joining us now you guys obviously we have a time zone differential here so we appreciate the fact that just a small one yeah just a small one just the 12 hours it's easy that is easy though yeah 12 hours is nice just a nice round 12 hours 100 yeah so we wanted to talk to these guys about being an age gap couple uh many of you know that daryl and I are 10 years apart and we started our lifestyle journey that had I guess some interesting perceptions by us that we I think might have pushed on to to other people and we wanted to talk to other age gap couples about their interactions in the lifestyle now tip in Mike perhaps just give our listeners an understanding of your relationship your age gap you know how you guys met or anything you really want to share just to kind of give the listeners an idea of who you are yeah okay so thank you guys for having us uh we are like they said tippy and mike and we live in the midwest of the united states and we have been together six years married for five and there is a 20-year age gap between us so pretty on those scales I would I would guess most people would be like wow you know but I think most people that meet us and get to know us or know us together individually don't realize we're that far apart I don't know whether that means that I look it's the theory I use is that you're only as young I look old.
I'm just so young. The theory I use is that you're only as old as the woman you feel. I said as old as the woman you wake up next to. Yeah. So most people don't realize there's 20 years between us. Like I said, we've been together six years, but we started becoming friends when I was going through a divorce, actually. So I got married really, really young, and then got divorced really, really fast. Thank goodness for that. But I was going through a divorce, working in a bar, he would come into the bar, and we became friends, like truly, legitimately friends.
Yeah, no benefits, no benefits at and just the pleasure of her company isn't that right Mike it's sure I invited him out a bunch of times like trying to get to the benefit portion of it that's just not true that's not true at all yeah go ahead with your story never let the truth get in the way of a good story that's certainly another one of my plans to life it's true but anyway so we were friends for a couple of years before i don't really even know how we started dating to be honest with you we just like we're going out a lot we were hanging out in the same place with the same people.
And then she forced me to spend more time with her. That's basically how that happened. Very persuasive and forceful, I guess. She smiled and sat on my lap and said, act like you're my boyfriend. Well, all right then. And my erection did exactly that. Yes. And then we have been together literally ever since. And we got married within that first year. And so, yeah, that's a little bit about us. So 20 years between us. So 20 years apart, yeah, and then six years together, but five years married. You popped the question pretty quickly there, Mike. You obviously just knew.
You were like, she's pretty forceful. I don't want her to chain me up. I'm just going to ask the question now. I'm pretty sure that she said, you're going to marry me as we was having I'm sorry.
just knew you're like she's pretty forceful i don't want her to chain me up i'm just going to ask the question now i'm pretty sure that she said you're going to marry me as he's having sex is kind of how it went and i just you know like a good husband did what i was told no i'm just kidding i just retired from the military and we live in a very small town so i'd moved back the dating pool is very thin and so it's like you hang around the same six people every day and that's kind of you know we just hit it off way to make me feel really special i'm sorry you are special i didn't that sounded horrible but yeah we're just silent on this end we're not trying to dig you out of that i'll let that happen happen if it's only cool.
I'm going to let that one marinate a little bit. I'm going to grab my shovel out of the back real quick. Exactly. Exactly. It was a very hot few people that was out there. I was the pick of the litter. That and I had just wicked lots of money. That's not true. Let's talk about your lifestyle journey, guys. Six years together, married for five.
You're in the lifestyle how long you've been the lifestyle for what made you be interested in in in joining the lifestyle well i was thinking about that today because i don't know whether you guys like i don't know how everybody gauges it so i don't know whether you guys gauge it from the moment you you had your first lifestyle experience or from the moment you started talking about it we gauge it from whatever the people want to gauge it out honestly I mean there's so much debate out there about terms of the lifestyle what it means and all of that I mean we were talking about the lifestyle for a few months I think maybe six months or something like that is that about right six months yep that's six months before we even went out to do anything and then again a few more months later before we actually you know did anything air quotes so i don't know i mean some people go and they just talk about it and they go to a lifestyle resort and you know they're in the lifestyle as far as i'm concerned but anyway debating that tell us about your journey i guess it's been about a year and a half then yeah since we started talking about it but i'll let you tell the story how you feel like we got in well we once again you know we just it became a started as bedroom talk and just sexy talk and it was kind I don't know.
you tell the story how you feel like we got in well we once again you know we just it became a started out as bedroom talk and just sexy talk and it was kind of like i was hey what would you think about you know being with another guy to begin with and it was uh she was like is this a trap i think that's exactly that is this a trap no i was just just curious asking for a friend you know and it just kind of started there and just the sexy talk just kept going and then you know our first experience was probably six months afterwards after we started talking about the same and so with the threesome and so we talked about it and i was like so do you want to do this or not and she says yeah and i said i'm going to call a friend because i was in the military for 24 years and i knew you know i could trust and i knew you knew that she'd be attracted to him and so i just called him up and i'm like hey this is going to seem really weird but um but you'd like to sleep with my wife and so we talked about it for a week or two right and you know we did video chats and stuff like that when you came you know brought you in right away and it just it happened rather quick the first experience after we started talking that's that's actually a lot to unpacked i mean the fact that you knew that he that person would be you know an open recipient of receiving the hey like do you want to fuck my wife is one thing but what i love about this story is that you your dirty talk actually started with another guy that's i wouldn't say it's rare i mean that's probably not it's probably not fair to say that it's rare but it's definitely it's at the smaller end of the spectrum yeah so certainly I think in our experience most of the people we've met have started with the let's call it the stereotypical guy wants to be with another woman and and it starts with another another lady if it's a threesome so yeah so it's refreshing what makes this story like even kind of more a lot to unpack i guess would be that if you were to you know be in our circle of friends and know us both intimately as a friend if you were to be in our circle of friends you'd be like tippy's the freak mike's the normal one so the fact that it came from him yeah it would be surprising to a lot Thank you.
in our circle of friends you'd be like tippy's the freak mike's the normal one so the fact that it came from him yeah it would be surprising to a lot of people now would it be surprising that it was the male that brought it up to most people probably not but in our particular relationship i don't think anybody would be surprised to know that i was a swinger but him they would probably be surprised about. So the fact that he brought it up, that's why I was like, this is a trap. He's trying to catch me in something. Gotcha. Yeah, I get that. That happens, actually.
I think some people, when they do bring it up, the receiving person's like, yeah, that's really interesting.
So you called up your maid and you had a threesomereesome how was that that first time around mike seeing tippy with another another man you know and that being i guess a part of your fantasy what was it like the first time it was hot i mean i i enjoyed it she really enjoyed it and our friend he he enjoyed it but he had a little stage fright off the the front end and then you know it calmed down and everything ended up really well but it was it was hot i mean i liked it it's i mean i'm just as into bringing another female or a couple in but like we were really wanting to have an experience and we talked about a female as well but i didn't have a female friend that i could just call up and say turns out i do but he didn't yeah man we need to get to know your fucking friends i know fucking friends is exactly underlined fucking friends what about now so you had that first experience just a really quickly like where are you at now in your in your lifestyle journey if you if you want to call it that so it's funny because i travel a lot for work and you know in the last probably four to five years we're gone two weekends I don't know.
if you want to call it that. So it's funny because I travel a lot for work. And, you know, in the last probably four to five years, we're gone two weekends a month minimum, sometimes a whole week out of the month. So we travel a lot. And so I decided going into 2020 that it's so ironic at this point. I'm like, this is the year we stay home.
We're going to, you know, not knowing, obviously you know i decided i'm gonna slow down my travel schedule i've been doing this for four to five years i'm gonna slow this down a little bit and we're gonna really dive into exploring this lifestyle and so we started booking parties and hotel takeovers and the club euphoria event in august that ended up now being canceled and so we really like dove into planning out our lifestyle year and trying to explore that a little bit more and then uh everything shut down and so you know we have uh had threesomes that's kind of been our our most successures so far.
We've had lots of dates. We've had dates, and it's either like she's not attracted to the guy or I'm not attracted to the girl. And, you know, the problems that come with it, you think some days, are we being too picky? And we've liked and enjoyed the company with everyone. It's not a matter of we just didn't like them. It's just we weren't attracted. Yeah.
And as a couple, you know, we've liked enjoyed the company with everyone it's not a matter of we just didn't like him it's just we weren't attracted yeah and as a couple you know we've had a couple where you know you were i was but it just didn't work out yeah so so far like our experiences with couples particularly in particular have been soft experiences not for the lack of trying trust me we're like let's do that you know we're not necessarily a soft swap couple we are willing to be full swap but we just haven't found the right couple i guess we're just failing miserable i think i think a lot of people do you know you said there are we being too picky and for the for the dates that we have gone on over the over the years that have not ended up in the bedroom I mean and the ones that have I mean there's definitely a much much higher percentage and in fact actually it was one of the reasons why we started our journey dating and then we started going you know what let's go to the club like let's just meet a lot of people in a big atmosphere at the one time to try and help with that and it can be frustrating and yeah I think I think we've all questioned whether or not we're being too picky and and you know whether hey these aren't life partners you know it's just it's a it's a fun atmosphere like and I think a lot of couples kind of struggle with that and go through and say well where is the where is the line that we draw between this is my body and and you know it holds a certain level of respect and I want to make sure that there's other people that are receiving that are you know of a certain level and then the other flip side of that is hold on a second it's just a bit of fun and you are deep into that one aren't you deep into it yep let's talk about these couples then and let's start talking about being being an age gap couple so the people that you are dating are they in the middle of your ages are they tippy's age are they mike's age did you and and those ages the people that you're seeking out is there an age gap or range for those people no it's it's i guess it'd be closer to my age for sure but that's i think part of that is that there's not in our area there's not a lot of you know late 20s uh couples out there they're just they just don't exist here it's the any in our area i'm not you know if we was to go further out i'm sure that they exist but we haven't found them yeah but we've been in my age group or probably in the 30s mid 30s i guess we should say that i'm 28 and mike is 48 so that's what the time is so when you're asking ages yeah i don't know that we've i don't know that we've never even talked about age group we would, we just, it's either there's an attraction or there's not.
And, and I almost, and this is probably bad to say, cause I, if I met them in person, I'd probably feel different. But when we're meeting people on sites and doing the online thing, I almost steer away from people that I see that are actually in my age group, because just typically for me, I'm attracted to people that are older than me. I don't have a whole lot in common with people my own age, actually, unless they just happen to be more like me, you know, so, so we just kind of steer away from them. And so we typically are dating in that early mid 30 to 40 and upwards kind of age range.
I think, I think that is kind of the bubble as well around, you know you know there is a there is a bubble of people entering the lifestyle and and to our experience it's generally sort of in the 30s and 40s generally either their relationship has kind of grown through a long-term relationship before that you know maybe a long-term marriage or the other side of that is they've finished one marriage and perhaps starting with a new, I was going to say more exciting, but that's not really what I mean, because that could make it sound terrible.
But a new, more open relationship in the second time round, and they tend to then get into the lifestyle. So that's kind of what we've seen as well, right? Around that 30 to 40-year-old is kind of where the mass grouping is right now. Granted, that is starting to spread now down lower, I think, because we can all agree that things are a little more sexually fluid for people in the lower age groups now. I was going to say, I actually would disagree with you there because I'm 35 right now.
I was 29 when we joined the lifestyle, and we find it extraordinarily difficult to find couples my age because of the fact that they are starting young families so more often than not if they're going to have a family they're having it you know young 30s and therefore they've got young kids at home and less likely to be able to go out and do stuff so they're kind of focusing on that side so i think that we found you know couples at that 29 year age bracket and then fast forward up to the 40 year age bracket you know and there's kind of not very many people in between um depends on the country depends on the city just overall but it's funny tippy you mentioned there that you you find older men uh attractive older people she said did she say i thought she said older men no ah in my next question but i won't ask that anymore well you might you still probably need to i mean it's an assumption just on a word drop so i'm not sure that that's appropriate okay so you mentioned that you find older people um attractive if you were to date somebody you know you see somebody coming across the profiles and say they're 25 years old do you put any of those preconceived barriers up or are you just open to let's go let's go and meet them and then also mike how would you feel about that so tippy comes to you and she's like there's a couple here they're 25 years old do you guys sit down and go home all that age i don't know or do you just go yep they look like great people let's meet them i that's a great question i would really need to take a like hopefully their profile is good that's a big one for me i put a lot of information on our profiles about us so that you can get to know us a little bit better it's maybe a little bit wordy but i'd rather share too much than not share enough i'm hoping that their profile is good and if their is good, and they seem like we would have something in common, I'm okay with it.
But if there is basically nothing in the profile, and it's like just here for fun, or something, you know, those typical taglines that you see a lot on the websites or the apps or whatever you may be using, I would have a lot of that are probably gonna swipe whatever which way you swipe on those types of people but what about you it doesn't bother me at all i mean it's once you start interacting and if it seems like it's it's gonna work then i'm i'm all for meeting up and in that it doesn't doesn't bother me that they're younger like i don't know it just doesn't even come into my mind to be honest well we had a situation with a an opportunity to interact with a female came up and she's what three years younger so in that 25 year range that that discussion of her age was never it never came up it didn't come up as a as a problem we haven't hooked up with her yet but it's not but it wasn't an age thing that was ever a problem.
And it doesn't bother me whether it's like even if it was a male, like the male side, it doesn't bother me. You know, reading into the question, I guess, is it, you know, I'm not intimidated by younger men at all. That doesn't bother me at all. So, yeah, I'm good with it all. Nice and relaxed. I like it.
Interesting the there's a few things that you're you're talking about and some of the responses because I did actually ask this question on our forums and some of the responses were around well we didn't talk about age you know we never really look at age and if you meet people at a club or at a resort or a an event or whatever you don't know their ages you're not walking up going hi I'm Kate I'm from Singapore I'm 35 years old no children have one dog you know successful in my career aspirations you don't do that you know I think all of those things are a little bit uh stripped away as it is yeah I agree with that we've spoken about kind of dating a younger couple what about the flip side of that and I'm going to share something with you guys the reason I'm asking this question is because oftentimes the couples that approach us are Daryl's age or older so when we first started and again I was 29 so Daryl was 39 and a lot of the couples were either his age or actually much older and so the age gap between Daryl and I being 10 years and then I'd load on the next amount of years to the next person you know and and oftentimes I would be the youngest person in the room by you know obviously at least a decade but oftentimes you know even two decades i think when we first joined the lifestyle we were like okay we're going to try and find you know we want committed couples only we don't want fuck buddies we want people that are kind of around this side this this idea and this age bracket or whatever and sometimes it was difficult we'd never go younger but we'd generally tend to to go older and do you guys find that that too i mean mike are you dating people older than you guys as well and does that come into play not really i mean i i don't know why that is it's not that we've purposely made that decision but it just ended up it's just not ended up that way i think i've always been the oldest yeah there was one female that was a year she was a year over me you're right yeah that we went on a date with but yeah i don't it's i don't really care if i as long as i get in the room or at the dinner to the bar or whatever and they don't seem like they're the typical 60 year old or whatever you know what i mean if they seem young and we have a connection and there's you know conversation is flowing and there's something there then i'm good with it but a lot of the times what we have ran into is they're more uncomfortable with me than i am with them so we do that some you know and usually the female has a lot of questions or concerns where it's like for him you know where are you going to be attracted to me because your wife is 28 years old okay yeah down we'll call it say down they're from down south but the we had that and she just flat out asked me i mean are you even going to be attracted to me because you know your wife's 20 years younger and she was a year older than me right that breaks my heart actually i just i just had a little bit of a like oh she was a beautiful woman i mean there was nothing at all wrong i don't know why you know i can see why i guess i get it i can see where that gets in your head i've never yeah so i feel like from our end we're good with it but i feel like you've had more people say no to us because of my age just eight now i think if they get to know me if they were to go out to dinner with us and get to know us they would see that I am not your quote-unquote air quote typical 20 something so like you said like I've got children lots of them I have a successful career so I don't it's a different playing field do you guys actually say you said you had a really big wordy profile and you really want to make sure you get a lot of it do you talk about being an age gap couple in your profile i don't just mean like in the bio where it says your your ages i mean do you actually say hey we're an age gap couple but please don't you know don't stop that from connecting with us like i'm i'm you know do you kind of try to justify that or you just let it fall where it may i i did say i do mention because the other thing and i'm not yucking anybody's all, don't get me wrong here, but I have had lots of, are you looking for a daddy type of messages, because of our age gap, and because I do mention it in our profile, and I have, I just put, like, yes, there's a 20 year age gap, it works for us, don't be weird, is the only thing that I, like, put in, in our profile about it yes but you know like i said if that's what somebody's thing is i'm fine with that that isn't my thing or our thing we do get that type of message okay just got one of those okay just got one of those recently actually are you looking for a daddy where that was that was like in the last couple of weeks i've actually had a few of those yeah and yeah and a part of me is like well I don't like is is there benefits to this are we going to nice dinners and nice hotels like because because maybe I do like I don't know well hang on there's an implication there that we're not going to doing the nice dinners and going to nice nice hotels ourselves because in my in my head I relate it to like a stature of like he's paying for fucking everything and I'm like, wait a second, am I getting presents out of this?
I think you might be thinking of sugar daddy. I am. Yeah, not just daddy. I know. Different. Is it different? Yes. Yes, it is. Very, very different. It is, but in my head I'm like, oh, maybe I am actually interested in that. I don't know. You've already got a fucking sugar, Daddy. How much more sugar do you need? A lot. I've heard that song. All the sugar. Yeah, I got a sweet tooth, baby. Yeah. Financial sweet tooth. A financial sweet tooth. So that's, I mean, that's fantastic. And I really appreciate that.
And I kind of going back to what you said, Mike, it does shock me a little bit that a woman would approach you and say, like, would you find me attractive? My mind didn't even go there. I think one of the things that we come up against when people are approaching us and our age gap is not whether or not Daryl's going to find the other woman attractive, but it's generally is he pushing her into it.
know we used to get a lot of that when i was 29 like whose decision a lot of people would approach us and say how long you guys been together for you know like trying to judge uh commitment to each other whose decision was it to come into this and i think there is a lot of judgment out there that if there is a younger woman that immediately well heavens it must have been the guy that's you know he's kind of forcing her to be there and all this sort of thing. And I think it's good to try and break down some of that stigma.
I didn't really see that, didn't really see what you were describing earlier, but, you know, that's probably because I'm just oblivious to it more than anything else. I hadn't really noticed that, but even now, I don't think, I don't know, I don't think there's a lot of concern over our age gap in terms of where we sit right now. Nobody really seems to be overly worried about it.
I don't know that it's changed anything for us in any real way, other than perhaps, you know, as you mentioned in the profile scenario, if somebody just glances at us and I'm outside of their age range that they've predetermined to butt break every three or four times that they go out and meet somebody at a club um you know that there's there's that as well i don't really mind that i mean everybody has their everybody's allowed to have their choice in life and if they decide that i'm too old for them then so be it i mean that's that's fine um and if they decide decide that Kate's too young for them as well, then so be it.
I don't really judge people for that. And I don't think they should be. But more importantly, I don't really think it's, it may have limited in some cases for us just because of the countries we've lived in along the way.
It is hard to say culturally, you know, what's appropriate and what's normal and you know what people are looking for i think definitely we had seen especially in australia and even in the united states you know some events that we can't go to purely because of the the age bracket um we actually we went to a club in spain once and it had an age limit on it and darryl was like well i'm a year older than that so where to from here you know how do we how do we kind of how do we navigate that and so there's been some you know things over the years that just because of our age have caused some issues where either I wasn't allowed to go because it was like a 45 and over party or he wasn't allowed to go because it was like a 45 under party you know and so we've fallen perhaps outside of some of those those brackets.
I mean in your in your area and seeing some of the parties have you seen a lot of that in in your area well i asked you about that with uh young swingers week we had a conversation you and i had a conversation about that kate because i was like i want to go but are they going to give but i'm an old swinger i'm like but are they going to give mike the boot because he's, you know, over what they, what you would consider young, I guess. And so, you know, there are some in the Chicago area, which is several hours from us that do put the, there's nights, I guess.
It's not the whole club or anything like that is limited, but there's a couple of weekends a month that you have to be under 40 i think it is or 38 or something uh and then some of the clubs in the area will do on occasion a kind of like a young swingers night and i think it's like a 35 and under or a 40 and under or something but I haven't seen any that set a minimum age they're kind of like bring all the young people I don't know I haven't seen any of the the minimum but I have seen like a maximum age but it hasn't really been a big going back to you know your point before about you know being more mature and expecting people to be a kind of your level and that's what you find not only you know attractive but it's it's who you want to surround yourself with because they they more you know closely represent yourself i very much felt the same way and so sometimes when i do see those events where they're like you have to be above a certain age i'm like hold on a second i moved out quite young i bought my house when i was quite you know like everybody tells me i'm quite an old soul like come on guys like just because of my birth certificate let's not discount me you're pretty cross what a compliment i know right yeah it's interesting that you actually do bring up young swingers week as well because i think there is it's a common question you know uh and even desire resorts has a month there where it's like sexy young and free and there's this argument of or debate of well hold on a second what is young damn it you know I think that's some of the times I don't mind when when events actually do put a bracket on it because you kind of know it's very black and white you know you know where you stand I think where some of the ambiguity happens is where it's sexy young and free well what does that mean you know I mean tippy you're quite you're quite mature you know you would say you would perhaps identify as somebody who is an older soul maybe you know and and the flip side of that mike would identify as hold on a second i i am young you know i'm dressing young i'm doing younger activities so therefore what is the definition and i know with young swingers week they do have on their website an actual um an age chart so even though they're titled as young swingers week they say well here's here's the age range of say 18 to 29 and that's the percentage that comes and then 46 years old plus that's the percentage that comes um and so you can see that you know because i think they do recognize the fact that there is a young at heart understanding as opposed to just a an age you know a defining age number yeah and i think that that makes a big difference for us because most people don't know that he's as old as he is or that I'm as young as I am.
So we kind of, you know, if you split us in half, we'd be like, what, 38, 40, you know, something like that. Yeah. Okay. So do you guys want to, let's, I actually put this up in our community and had some responses from people about, about dating age gap couples. You guys want to run through some of those? Yeah. Okay. We had a lot, so I'm not going to be able to run through them all because I mean, we'd be here for hours if we sat and ran through them all.
But just to give you guys an understanding of perhaps what people think about you as an age gap couple, I think it's interesting because you said there before, you know, maybe people are your your dating profiles and then and just immediately saying no you know they're outside of our age bracket and actually on that as well I think some of the times the issue with the dating sites as well is that people look for that age you know what I mean like one of the ones down here in Asia we can input his age and her age so specifically if we were looking for someone the female was my age and the male was daryl's age we could actually very much input that but of course every time you do that you're limiting your you know people that you're coming across but i do think that when people search if they're just searching perhaps around chibi's age bracket you know you guys might not come up in their profile um because of the the difference and that's a shame i think yeah absolutely i try to go under what i think i'd be comfortable with and also over what i think i'd Thank you.
come up in their profile because of the difference and that's a shame I think. Yeah absolutely. I try to go under what I think I'd be comfortable with and also over what I think I'd be comfortable with so that you get more of a variety there you know.
Yeah it is funny because I think I've definitely grown as an individual in in the the time we've been in the lifestyle but I still do freak out if there's more for guys actually if there's a younger significantly younger guy in my head I'm like no he's too young which is just crazy because again he might be somebody who has had a lot of life experience and I'm just completely writing him off because of his age and I do try to make myself stop reacting that way you know we actually had a 23 year old guy approach us I think it was yesterday the day before and immediately I was like oh 23 I don't know babe all right so these guys are Sonoma pair and they're I always get this wrong you guys might want to correct me Spokane okay they're from Spokane and I asked a couple of questions so some of the questions I asked to give you guys an understanding is have you played with an age gap couple?
Do you believe that age gap couples have a harder time finding a four-way connection? Would you have a problem playing with an age gap if they were 10, 20, 30 years apart? Is there a difference between the male and the female being the older or the younger of the two? And what questions would you ask? So just to kind of go through some of these points. So I asked, have you played with an age gap couple? They're 51 and 56 years old. And they said, yes, we have. The guy was in his early 60s and the girl was early 40s. So they had a 20-year age gap. And they said they loved it.
There was a lot of confidence there in both of the individuals. I asked if they had a harder time believing that there was a harder time with age gap couples making that four-way connection. And they're saying they think that they would be.
Do you guys actually, when you're thinking about this and kind of in your journey now, Do you think you have a harder time with age gap couples making that four-way connection and they're saying they think that they would be do you guys actually when you're thinking about this and kind of in your journey now do you think you have a harder time finding that four-way connection do you relate that to age or is it just because they're not floating your boat for me it's more that we just haven't made that connection it's not been a an issue of age um but that being said we we haven't really been with a significant age gap couple you know i think what six years would have been probably the there so we don't even you know at 20 years we don't consider six years an age gap yeah the you know it's um it's all in in what you you know what you want but we haven't had a problem on our end now that doesn't mean that people haven't looked at our profile and went no you know and it's a good thing you you don't know how many denials you get yeah you know with without knowing so yeah i i think that like i said i think that the the problems have come more from the couples that have been together a long time and have no basically no age gap there at all and and they are the ones that are more uncomfortable with it so i you're you're making an interesting statement there because there are a lot and i think this is probably more common in the united states there are a lot of couples who high school sweethearts and then they go through life and they may be empty nesters and they're starting this journey and they're the exact same age or maybe a year apart and i think definitely there there might be some of those misunderstandings of about age gap couples.
And that's purely because of the fact that their high schools, they've just been together forever. And they haven't been out in the dating pool and realised there's a definite amount of diversity that exists out there now. That's not their fault. That's just their surrounding and upbringing.
So the other thing that Sonoma Pair brought up that I did want to mention, they said, I asked, they I asked would they have a problem they said absolutely not we're open to anything body shapes and they said however generally playing with a couple that is a lot younger than we are and they do reference 20 years younger so they're 51 and 56 it has happened they said they've played with younger people but they said it can be a challenge we have to get out of our own heads yeah I mean I don't know if it was a confidence issue for her or i mean obviously that's the way i took it and she was a beautiful woman and had no reason to to be insecure at all but that's the way she came across whether she meant to be that way or not she said are you going to find me attractive when your your wife's 20 years younger and i was like well you know, but it almost made me feel bad that she felt that way.
You know, it's. And then we have wondered about that. If part of our struggle to, to get people to go to that next level with us has been a confidence thing on their end. And because like you mentioned, a lot of people that we have dated because we've gone on several dates and almost all of them are, like you said, empty nesters have been together a really, really long time, whether they're, whether they be high school sweethearts or college sweethearts or whatever it may be, they've been together a long time and their, their children are out of the house or almost out of the house.
Whereas our youngest is a year old. So we're almost kind of the opposite in almost every way as they are. And so we have wondered if it's sort of that confidence thing on their behalf. But we're here to tell them, like, you're good. Let's go.
Some of that from like a dating standpoint, some of them may not want to mess with a couple, even though I'm older, kids you know and what that entails and you know not being available as much as someone else might be but we're just having had a problem with it from our end and i haven't really seen like any rejection mike when you guys are out on on dates and i mean do you do you actively flirt with that other other lady and you know kind of do you i mean are you actually kind of not reassuring her but making sure that it's known that, hey, this is like you guys are interested?
Have you kind of taken yourself out of your normal flirt style and turned it up a notch because you're like, I want to make sure that they're very well aware that, you know, we're interested? Oh, I think so, but I definitely could do a better job. I mean, it's one of those things that I constantly have to remind myself. I spent the last 15 years of my career in the military being cautious of everything I said to a woman because I was afraid of any repercussions that might come with that. So it's, it is, it has been something that I work on, you know, the flirting, especially online.
I'm, I'm horrible. I'm good in person. I'm horrible online. It's, I struggle. I struggle there. You give him the good old, like, elbow. I'm like, come on. One of the things, one of the things that we've found, and we talk about this over the years a lot, but we always tend to sit across from each other.
But sometimes what I'll do is if I'm, mid-date, if I'm finding that, and it doesn't always have to be the opposite sex too you know I was just referring to you Mike kind of reassuring that the female or floating with the female to make sure that she was feeling comfortable but oftentimes what I'll do especially if they're of an older age than even you know Daryl so the gap to me is larger I might sit next to the the husband for a piece and then halfway through the meal I'll swap it up and I'll be like oh I want to sit next to the lady like girl time kind of thing and and engage and talk with her to to again have that female on female almost that reassurance of like it's fine you know and I think that until they see that level of maturity until maybe sometimes they've interacted with us it can yeah it can create some barriers and I think the only way to break it down is to to have conversation so I try to do a bit of reassuring on both sides if if I feel the couple needs it if I don't and they're just obviously happy about you know they don't care about it then I don't even you know just it's just a normal date yeah I love that idea and and on that that situation with that with that particular couple it ended well for her and I and not so well for you and Yeah.
I it wasn't that you didn't get along but it was like yeah and you and her got along fine but he was just kind of he wanted he wanted to be the like i've heard this this phrase a lot but he wanted to be like the yoda i think because he saw kind of like a newer couple he knew that we didn't have any full swap experiences with couples i think he wanted to be that and so he was kind of like a newer couple, he knew that we didn't have any full swap experiences with couples, I think he wanted to be that.
And so he was kind of like taking on like, you know, almost that daddy or like that Yoda or whatever it may be role. He wanted that. And that was a turnoff for me because I'm not interested. I want to have fun. Let's be friends. Let's go out and have drinks and dance.
And like, let's, let's, you know, too but i'm not looking for a mentor you know that was kind of a downfall that was kind of the thing i think that for him anyway it was like they wanted to take us in under their wings and show us the ropes and you know i i appreciate that but it was almost to the weird weird point you know just a little weird for us yeah yeah do get excited.
And obviously once you get into this lifestyle, you do kind of want to start to, you know, if you're, you're seeing benefits, it's like anything, if you're seeing benefits to something, you know, you start exercising or I don't know, you learn a new language or something. And then all of a sudden it's all you talk about, you know, and you're trying to get the other, like, look at all of the benefits that come along with these set of steak knives. You know, it's really hard to not try to do that.
So it's funny another one we had here is from uh carefree and they're from arizona and they're 50 and 52 have you played with an age gap couple before this isn't this is in capitals and it says hell yes and we've loved it and they said primarily in the 10 to 20 age gap range and in the in the question of do you believe that age gap couples have a harder way finding a four-way connection connection and they said it depends on the couple. We've noticed it's more about the maturity of the younger half, so that'll be you, Tippi, and about the youthful spirit of the seasoned half.
And then they went on to be funny and said, is 70 the new 60 or is 70 the new 40? Who knows?
When you're in the club atmosphere, you do look across the room and you see people and you go, ha, they're having a great time and there's obviously that there might be a an obvious age gap but yeah he seems useful youthful or she seems youthful and then the other you know the flip side of that i i mean i think there is a lot of that happening out there so they're they're pro age gap so they like it yeah give them our number this one here from austin texas so this is a take by storm and they're 36 and 41. So they have a five-year age gap.
And they said it's something that we shy away from if it becomes too large, but it would depend on the impression of the people though. And this kind of goes back to the fact that online it can be very difficult to understand, you know, what the impression of the person is. I mean, you're just going by profiles, right? So I don't know. Do you think there are a way that we as age gap couples can get the point across through things like photos or trying to?
I think that young, old, middle age, any of it, photos are super important, but I think that allowing your personalities to shine through a little bit in your profile and I'm that is hoping that people are reading profiles because I get this all the time fully 100% knowing that people do not read profiles because as he mentioned hates online things I run every single social media platform and when it gets to the point where I'm like hey here are these people then I get him involved I get and that it says on our profile every single one of them the missus runs the profile you know and so I get your wife is so hot on a regular basis you know so I know people don't but I think that the way that we kind of fix that problem if you will of people being afraid of the age gap is is by inserting some personality and that can be in your photos i think photos are a great way because that's what people are going to probably look at first it's the easy thing right scroll through some photos yeah yeah so showing some fun whether you guys like to dance or you like to mountain climb or you like to whatever it is that that's going to show people a little bit about yourself is important but then also our poll profile is full of like little silly like i mentioned don't be weird just little silly kind of i mentioned that he's super outgoing in person he does really really well in like social settings and i do better more one-on-one settings i get really super awkward and i have really bad rbf and i can't help it and it doesn't mean I'm bitchy it's just that it's just my face it's just my face don't be mean it truly is just my face but I put that I have a terror I suffer from RBF so don't be afraid to approach us if you see us out somewhere you know so I put those types of things into our profile on purpose so that it makes somebody chuckle or relate or laugh or realize that we're pretty normal and that they have a reason to approach us with something to say.
Or at least we hope that. I hope that. I hope that. That's my purpose behind it.
Now, we've spoken a fair bit about people that may have barriers about age gap couples, but this next one I want to share with you guys is actually is a positive because i think you would see a lot of this as well and tippy you mentioned earlier about being attracted to more mature people so this one's from scorpio 85 they're in denver and she is 33 he's 42 so nine year age gap and they said yes age gaps can be rough and it certainly does add a level of difficulty in finding those four-way connections but they said however Mrs Scorpio prefers dating older men than her and to be honest I prefer dating younger women and so I think that there can also be you know for those age gap couples out there there can be actually a very good immediate connection because if I'm if I'm immediately attracted to older men obviously I'm with daryl and he's attracted to perhaps younger women then finding another age gap couple for us is like oh my god it's it's perfect you know like we're both on the same playing field like it's all fine i mean when you're looking you know if you're looking for the the couples that you're trying to connect with would you believe you'd have an immediate connection with a with an age gap couple i think there's some commonality there right off the bat.
Just if he was 48 and I was 48 and we met another couple that was both 48. You know, there is commonality there. There's experiences that are similar. So I feel like the same is true with meeting a couple that has an age gap.
Yeah, as you were reading that, it it made me think that man we i need to be looking for an age gap couple because that perfectly what i was you know what i think in my mind so it's i am attracted to younger women not on a physical level always but i dated before her and i got together i dated girls that were close to my age and it was just i struggled because um they're they were just old hearts you know and i wanted a younger soul you You know And it was just, I struggled because, um, there, they were just old hearts, you know, and I wanted a younger soul, you know, as it was, they were ready to shut down their life and I'm ready to go, you know, it's, it would just, that was the connection.
Yeah. As you, as you read that, I was thinking, you know, that, that is ideal scenario. We haven't seen a lot of them on our, on the profile, on the websites we've been on. Yeah.
yeah well it seems you might need to go to arizona guys because this one's uh this next one's passion 69 couple and she's 30 and he's 51 and they say that we've got an age gap of 21 years it's not been an issue for us the missus prefers to play with older men rather than the younger and actually they said younger for her she's not a fan so kind of what i was talking about earlier uh it is really all about the chemistry with all parties I mean that's that's it that's a given but they said they are receptive to people that can match in personality attitude enjoy life so really Mike I think that at its core is what it's going back to you know you take age off the board but it is a reference point purely because of the stage in which people are living their lives at you know you mentioned that a lot of people are perhaps looking perhaps looking to, you know, maybe settle down.
They're looking to do different things, whereas you're like, hold on a second. I want to go out and travel. I want to go to parties. I want to get amongst it. Yeah, I see that a lot. I mean, I'm a lot the same way. I love to get out and do all the things that would be, quote, young things to do. You know, I still love to be active and travel and on everything. You know, we like We'd like to go out. That is who I am. It kind of goes back to a lot of stereotypes I run into. She just must have been like after money. Well, I was broke as a joke, really.
When we got together, it wasn't that way, but that's the stereotype you run into. What I was saying earlier when we opened up the podcast was I was trying to get at that I wasn't targeting a younger girl. That's who you end up around in our area when you're single and you're mid-40s. You're going to be around people that are quite a bit younger. I'm not attracted to a lot of younger women personality-wise, but it just ends up that it's really weird. Yeah.
Unfortunately, sometimes as the older gentleman, you are tied with a a certain brush and i think that's just the reality of the world and and judging until people know you in some aspects yes it's i want to be able to do what i want to do and and not have to like worry about everything you say much like when i was talking about the conversations like text is a big one for me and so i'll like when we're corresponding through text or uh messenger or whatever i will type something out and then erase it and type it back i mean it takes me forever because i'm like oh i can't say that that'll get me in trouble you know it's like i you know i want to be i want to be more flirty and sexy and then like that in my head the stuff you're talking about it's been beating my head so long yeah so so now I have to reverse all of that.
You were too worried about being proper. Let's move away from that, guys. I really appreciated your candor there talking about the age gap and issues, if there are any.
I guess if you're out there and you're listening to this, it is just another reminder that Tippi is obviously interested in meeting you guys, so don't see Tippi's you know make a make a judgment call on that go on a date because you never know what might happen but moving on to your lifestyle moving back to your lifestyle journey what is something that's on your bucket list now i happen to know i have some back you know i have some some inside information i happen to know that you guys are going to hedonism next year with the euphoria chronicles group but tell me what some of the things that you know is still perhaps in your dirty talk in your bedroom that you haven't experienced yet that it is that if you could have it tomorrow what is at the height of your like fuck it list this is kind of a new one recently the the younger female that i mentioned she lives local to us and so something that was that i didn't realize i wanted until this came up was kind of like a hot husbanding situation versus like a hot wife going and playing solo, more of like a solo play for him.
And then him coming home to me was is something that I've dirty talked about a lot in the last few weeks since the topic of her came up and i didn't ever think that it would be of interest to me but i was i found that i'm extremely interested in pimping pimping my husband she literally was pimping me out because we have a friend that she was discussing this with and he he was talking to her about it and she pimped me out she came outside And she's hey would you like to go with uh we'll call her heather you know so would you be up to go over there and you know sleeping with heather and coming back and i'm like is this a trap you know it's like a reversal it's like yeah maybe i mean when am i supposed to stay here but it it's definitely something that would be great but but it's more her fantasy than mine, which is fine.
We want to fulfill all of our fantasies. What about you, Mike? What's one of your fantasies that you're hoping to get out of lifestyle? There's no shame here too, so tell us what it is. Get dirty with us. I don't know.
I kind of like the club, going to a club and just kind of, just getting the club atmosphere and then just a lot of, like like i guess just a whole big uh orgy going on we haven't been in that scenario you know and so it just would be really we've watched an episode with swingers wasn't it swing swing yeah and that was one of the couples and they they started playing and and everybody was just kind of joining in and i was like yeah i want to do that you know so it was yeah but that was hot for me yeah have you have you seen that in real life yet have you actually seen seen that in front of you before not yet oh it's hot yeah that's definitely something to look forward to mike's definitely in for watching having having an orgy tippy you're in for some hot husband action is there something that you really want to achieve maybe even on a personal level when you're in the lifestyle like getting closer together or seeing something new i mean i know you guys got this hedonism trips like traveling like what else have you got on on your kind of list for me and probably for mike as well because of just how he is social uh would be to to really have a core and i've spoken to you kate about this a little bit is to have a really good core group of friends that we can kind of be who we are with and and we're very lucky now i've mentioned that we've had threesomes with friends i have a female friend he has male friends that they know about us and about our lifestyle so we are not as quote-unquote in the closet as some are now if our tiny community knew they'd literally pop their top but we do have people but they're not they don't consider themselves lifestylers for whatever reason they're singles who sometimes sleep with us you know so they don't consider themselves in the lifestyle so for me on my non-fuck-it-fuck-it-bucket list would be to have the pants-on, pants-off core consider themselves in the lifestyle so for me on my non bucket list yeah would be to have the pants on pants off core you know kind of like what you guys have created with your community i really want that for us yeah i mean i i could echo the same thing it's for me trust is like so important and obviously for my background but i like to be able to trust the people that i'm around with all sorts of things, you know, and that's probably the most important thing.
And what I'd like to achieve out of it is exactly, you know, what you'd said is that having that core group of fuck buddies or whatever you want to call it that you can trust and share things with. And it's not really easy around here where we're from because we're rural, right in the Bible Belt. And it's just, it's tough to find those people. And some of them you find you don't really trust. So it's just a challenge to me.
You know, I think you're going to probably look back on 12 months and go like, shit, remember when we didn't really have a lot of connections and now we're traveling all over the States. You know, I think that you definitely find connections and it happens.
The friendships form quicker because of the fact that it's just no hold bars conversation you know with some people i hope so too all right so that has been uh tippy and mike mike concho if i if i'm pronouncing that appropriately uh thank you so much for joining us guys thank you for sharing your journey and your story with us and we really appreciated your your time thank you yes thank you for having us it's nice to like get to actually see you face to face and meet you and all of that so i appreciate it all righty then thanks guys and if you want to reach out to these guys you can do so via twitter on acdc if you guys want to connect and ask more questions specifically if you are an age gap couple and you want to share your journey or you want to share your barriers or perhaps even some of the things that you're doing out there to kind of break away that stigma, do reach out.
Yes, absolutely. We post lots of naked pictures on there. If you're looking for more ways to interact with Swinging Down Under, you can catch us on Twitter at Swing Down Under. You can also catch us on Instagram, Swinging Down Under, or head over to our website, SwingingDownUnder.com. We would absolutely love to hear from you. So if you would like to send us an email, jump online, do it at cnd at SwingingDownUnder.com.
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