We went to a Swingers Party inside of a Castle right here in Croatia!
In this swingers podcast episode we talk about what it's like at this type of swingers party, we run you through this 2 night event with it's ups and downs.
There were some swinger fails experienced including some language barriers and miscommunication between us and another couple. We missed an opportunity for swingers play boooo.
Cate pauses and discusses how some swingers events or clubs have a dress down requirement at a certain time and discusses how the community responded to this.
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome back to Wanderlust Swingers. This is episode 131, a swingers party in a castle. Why the question? I don't know. I just liked the inflection. It was in a castle. Yeah. Just answer that question for you. It was in a castle. It was. We're going to talk about the recent party that we went to in Croatia. Obviously, it was a swingers party in a castle. That's what we're going to talk about on today's episode. It was in a castle. It was in a castle. So welcome. Welcome back. Welcome. If this is your first episode, great to have you here.
Everyone's house is a castle. Isn't that something to do with like a toilet being your throne and castle situation? Yeah. That's an Australian thing. So I'm running out of cultural tidbits for Croatia. Every episode of the Wanderlust Swingers podcast, we like to start with a cultural tidbit about the place that we're in and because we've been in Croatia for so long now, I'm running out of... Six months. I'm running out of Croatian. Yeah, because you told me they have to be about sex. So it makes it very difficult. I'm going to start going into some odd territory.
My next one, not necessarily about sex, but about sex positivity. Avoid strip clubs at all costs unless you know what you are doing. This is a warning that I found across about 15 different websites here in Croatia and a lot of travel websites that come to Croatia. What are you going to know what you're doing? They are often run by very shady characters. That sounds like fake news. I'm telling you, 15 different websites all say the same thing. Be careful of the strip clubs here because they're not regulated by the government.
Actually, they're like, they kind of sit in this grey area where they're not, they don't go after them, but they're not legal. Given there's only about four of them in the country, I'm not sure it'll be a big problem. Yeah, it's not a big problem, but that's my cultural tidbit for today. Okay. Okay. You like it? It sounds pretty negative though. Just to let you guys know, $2,000 for a bottle of champagne, sorry, 2,000 euro for a bottle of champagne, it's quite expensive unless it's like a magnum of really expensive champagne and then maybe...
Yeah, maybe they bought fucking a magnum of Verve Clique and this is what happened. What's up with us? So a little bit of a quick update on what we've been up to before we get into the Castle Party review. Daryl, because this was a recent single guy situation and ghosting and not turning up to a date... And totally having a partner. Do you want to field this one? What happened? Well, there was a subhuman person. Boom. How did you find this person? On the line. He was on the line. He was on one of the two websites here, which one I can't remember. But he has since been blocked, like, hard.
You blocked him? Yeah. Why'd you block him? Because he was a douche waffle. Yeah. Explain how you found this person. Yeah. How you got to like him coming out on a date and then why things started to, like there was red flags and then how it all went pear-shaped. Take us on a journey. You know what I mean? You want me to tell a story, do you? Can you please take us on a journey? I'll tell you a story. All right, good. There was this guy. Okay. I met him on the line, on a place. Yep.
He had all the right things on his profile talking about how, you know, he was looking for a longer-term couple and looking for fun and friendship and all those sorts of things. And then I reached out to him and he responded. Dun. And at this point, there was nothing untoward. It was just, he was just a nice guy. Seemed. I'm on the edge of my seat. I figured. Then after that, I started sending him some messages and he returned said messages and I asked him the usual questions. You know, are you single? Have you done this before? Yep. Or are you a virgin?
We recently got a message back from a guy who was 31 saying, happy to meet you. By the way, I'm a virgin. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a... On a swing and stating site. Yeah, good for him. I think that's a good way to get out there, if you like. So he was not a virgin, but he did... Act like a virgin? No. No, he acted like a dick and we're about to get to that. Okay. So we exchanged some photos and stuff and just to, you know, check him out because the photos that he had on the website were not... Well, they were just body shots, like torso shots. I have found in Croatia, again, the theme of...
single men who, again, really shouldn't have a lot of concern about it, but the theme of single men here just not showing faces is astronomical. And I've never really understood the fact that you'll just be like... It's the same everywhere, though, we've discovered. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying it's also here. I was hoping for something a little bit different here, but, you know, I saw one today and there was just a cock on a screen and I was like, it's okay to send that? You don't want to send your photos, your face photos? Like, what the fuck?
Well, not too many people can ID you from your cock, babe. There's not too many people going, holy fucks. fuck, that's Daryl's cock. I mean, I don't think you could even ID me from my cock. I reckon I'd have a crack at it. I don't reckon you could. We need to do a cock lineup. Okay, carry on. We're going to do a cock lineup. That's what's going to happen. Then with my questioning, he said, oh, look, I'm in an early relationship. We're two months in. It's not exclusive. You know, we're just still feeling everything out. So, you know, we discussed this and we're like, is that okay?
Are we okay with that? And we're like, yeah, well, I mean, it's not exclusive so that, should be okay, right, because it's not exclusive. We then organise a day date, just a quick catch up for coffee for you and him because I wasn't available that night or something. That was during the day. I'm pretty sure you were working. Yeah, but there was a reason we did it then. We were either travelling on the weekend or something. There was some reason we did it anyway. And you were just going to catch up with him for a coffee to sound him out. And he agreed. He said, yeah, no problem.
He even picked a place that he was going to meet you and said – 1 p.m. I'll talk with you before that anyway and let you know what's going on, but we'll catch up at 1 p.m. tomorrow. And then he said, okay, I've got to go now. So at this point in time, just to actually give some info on what's going on, so Daryl invited me to a group chat. We're in WhatsApp, which means that you can tell when somebody has read that message or when it's been delivered, when they've read it, what's going on with it. You can tell what's happening with that message in the group chat.
Yeah, absolutely, and in the chat that I had set up, with him as well, which was just a one-on-one where I asked the prequel questions. Right. And initially when I came on, I started asking the same questions about, you know, do you have a girlfriend? That's when he reconfirmed like it's a new relationship. And he sent a photo to us and that had another photo where I was like, hmm, it's a bit iffy. I don't know. There seems to be another person in that photo. It doesn't sound like I saw that photo. Oh, I might be getting my ropes, getting my eyes crossed.
Anyway, so we're in the chat and talking a little bit and one of the red flags for me was that he sent a message and I was working and then 20 minutes or less than 20 minutes later he just sends a question mark and sends that. And he did the same to me as well on the solo chat where it was at the same time actually because he asked me a question on there and I saw the question mark and I responded to him after that saying, hey, look, we're moving to the other chat so there's no more, I won't respond here anymore.
Yeah, but it was a red flag for me because somebody who's that impatient that sends a message and then within. It was within TAM. minutes that I got that. Yeah, within a short period of time since just a simple question mark to me was a full on red flag. It's like, do you have anything to do during the day? Yeah. So we set up a date, we set up a coffee date, 1pm on a Wednesday or a Thursday, whatever it was, and all chatty, sent some photos, I sent some more photos of us, he sent another one of him and then he left the group chat.
No, he said, I've got to go now, which is where I got up to before you took us back through time and he, yeah, he he said, I've got to go now. And we both assumed he meant I have something that I have to go and do, like, go to, like I have work to do or something like that. Right. But then he left the chat. Yeah. He just left the chat. And this was right on end of day. Yeah. And so 5 PM. And so the reason that that is the reason we know he left the chat again with WhatsApp, you can actually, it'll tell you such and such has left the chat.
Like it doesn't, I feel like the majority of people in the world have experienced what WhatsApp to this point. Yeah. So he said, okay, deal. I'll meet you at 1 p.m. That works fine for me. And then he said, I must go now. So I'll text you tomorrow to confirm the meeting, wink face. And I was like, well, that's a bit strange. Like, what are you doing for the rest of the night? But I was like, okay, cool. Have a good night. And then immediately after that, he left, which was the red flag for us. That wasn't the red flag. That was a red flag.
I also sent a message to him after that saying, hey, you just left the chat because perhaps he did it accidentally. Hey, you just left the chat. What's going on? That's a bit of a red flag for us. It seems like you're trying to shut everything down before you get home so that – So the person that you're only in a very early two-month relationship with doesn't see it. And if that's the case, we're already past the level where we are comfortable with being engaged with you. So thank you for your time. If this isn't the case, please let me know. Exactly. He's still never opened that. Exactly.
Actually, it has still never been delivered to his phone. Right. Right. So that was basically our story of a recent single guy that ghosted us and he didn't turn up to the coffee meeting. He didn't respond or read Daryl's message and complete red flags, a few of them, throughout the entire chat. Super douche. Yeah. Dick move. Why did you actually go to the trouble of going on the website and then blocking him? What was that about? Well, I went on there to see if I could complain about him, but you can't. You were trying to give him a Yelp review.
Well, no, this is one of the problems, I think, with – With a lot of these websites is that you can review people, but you can only ever give them positive reviews. There is no way to offer somebody a negative review. Can't you just type in the box and say he – You've got to give him a positive review to do that. So if nobody ever looks at what you typed in the box, which let's be honest, most people wouldn't, then you've given him a positive review. Right, right. That doesn't seem – that seems kind of counterintuitive. It does. Counterproductive maybe even. Okay. Okay. So let's move on.
So you're going to Poland tomorrow. I am. Happy sailing. This is your first business trip in the, in the, uh, Europe. In the Europe. In the Europe. Um, it's actually not. I have made many business trips inside Croatia. I meant broader. This is your first time actually going on a plane to another European country. Since we've lived here. Since you've lived here. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Are you excited about it? Not really. Cool. All right, guys, let's now talk about this castle party.
So this castle party was advertised on a local dating site in And Daryl booked it while I was actually in the US as a bit of a let's go out and meet people. Before we get into anything though, Daryl, black ring rating from one to five, five being the best. Where are you at? It was a three. So a solid three for you? Yeah, it was a three. I didn't say a solid three. Okay. It was just a three. Black ring rating of a three. Yep. All right. Three out of five. Sure. Sure. Yeah, I'd agree with that actually. Can we do Harvey's? What do you mean? Calf rings. No. Then three.
I'd be inclined to almost give it a four, but no. What? No. I'd give it a three and a half, but we're not doing Harvey's. Why would you give it a three and a half? What makes it better than average? Well, let's just jump right into it then, shall we? Yeah, okay. All right, let's do it. You can explain this to me along the way. It was a nice castle. Okay. So first and foremost, it was on a dating site. You had to pay for the tickets up front. And if you go to this particular event, they then also validate your profile.
That's something that we've noticed a lot here in Europe, not so common in the other locations that we've been to or travelled to before where the company will validate you if you go to some of their events and that gives you a higher rating on your profile which means It's a real bitch to get the stamp off your forehead though. They brand your ass with a hot iron. They don't use hot irons anymore for branding. They do. No they don't. They use frozen irons. Liquid nitrogen. By the time you booked it what was up with the rooms on site and stuff? There was no rooms left. There's only 20 rooms.
It's a fucking castle. It's only a small castle. It's just like a Small castle. So was it already sold out? Oh, 20 rooms. Did it already tell you that it was sold out? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was already sold out then. And in fact, the backup castle was also sold out at that point. Oh, you did go on a wait list, right? Yeah, but they said there's like 20 people on the wait list in front of you already. Okay. So suck a dick. So lots of people on the wait list. Yeah. All right. Well, there you go. Shit happens, eh? Yeah. So you started to explain what made it a three and a half.
Was that the end of the story or you got more? First thing I want to mention is the COVID protocols. What fucking COVID protocols? This is what I want to say. This is what lost at some black ring points. Before we went, they sent an email. Actually, and I do want to also say this email only came about four days before the event. So I thought the lead up to that was also quite short.
They sent an email basically saying you either need to be fully vaccinated and bring your vaccination passport card with you, or you need to provide a negative PCR test that had been done in the 24, 48 hours prior to the event. They sent us that, yeah, like four days out. So, I mean, initially I was like, kudos, it's a COVID-free event, that's what they were calling it. But then equally I was like, you should probably do this more than four days in advance. Like people should know this because you've got to go and get your test done and you've got to book that in and everything, right?
Yeah, absolutely. So I was happy about that. I was excited for the fact that they were taking that seriously and so we put our vaccination cards inside our passports and roll up to the event. Daryl, tell me about the process to check in and stuff like that. Yeah, you pay the extra 50 euro and you checked in. Yeah. No COVID tests, no COVID checking at all. No. So it was just all for show. It was just to prevent kerfuffle. To prevent kerfuffle. Now the event itself was 200 euro, so that's 236 US dollars. Do you think there was value for money there? I'm going to take pause on that.
I would say maybe. I think there was. So for 236 US dollars, that was for two nights, right? And it included all drinks and all and then the food. Oh, I forgot about that. And all the food. was there. So not to mention the venue, the entertainment stuff. Yeah, it didn't help that I was fucking driving both nights. No, no it didn't. Which is a bit of a dick move on your behalf. But I mean in terms of – But what do you mean? In terms of the expense for the cost of going, it is a higher expense but I think it was value for money in my mind. Okay. I'll take your word on it.
I mean I'm just thinking about how much all you could drink at home would cost us. 200 euros for two nights with the – food and everything. Or you could drink. Yeah. How many bottles of wine do you reckon you can get through in one night? Through. Shit, that's there. Oh, well. Just out of curiosity, I'm going to say at best you're going to get to two. Hey. So we're topping out there at 40 euro. Mm-hmm. 50 if we're feeling fancy. If you're feeling fancy, but you're a booze hag, so you're always on the cheapy stuff.
Because you like to take the piss out of me for all the hotels that I book and stay in. Oh, fuck me. Would you like to fill this one? You mean the hotel that didn't... didn't even have an iron for me to iron my shirts before we went. That one, yeah. Yeah. I don't want to even pull the piss out of you about this. I think lesson learnt is where we should be at. Okay, so in my defence, the actual castle was about a 45 minute drive from where we live. So it's actually really, really close.
The issue is that you can't get any kind of taxis or anything out there because people just don't pick up or drop off out there, right? Well, they might drop you off, but they're sure as shit not going to pick you up at midnight, 1am. So literally day of about, I don't know, four in the afternoon, I text, or three in the afternoon, I text sterile on Friday and I said, hey. I've decided that we're going to stay somewhere. Because we were going to stay at home. Yeah. And I said, let's get a hotel. It's 20 minutes away from the venue, which means that it's halfway between our house and there.
I realize, like, we live quite close, but it's at least a little bit closer, a bit easier. Let's go and get a place. Didn't really work out. No, there was only one hotel that was that close to the event and it was a bit of a shit tip. It was a huge tip, shit tip. So we got there and we check in and go up to the room and it's two single beds. Yeah, they fucked you on that because you called them earlier and asked whether they had a room with a double in it. Yep. And they said yes. They also charged us more than what was on the website. Yep. So they fucked us there.
I mean, you just got fucked pretty much. And they didn't have an iron. So what did you do? You had to drive all the way fucking home to get an iron. I actually said to you, I think the day of or the day before, are you going to iron those shirts? And you were like, nah. What fucking hotel doesn't have an iron? That one. So hang on, hang on. So I don't mind that there wasn't an iron in the room. That's okay. They didn't have an iron at all. Like at all. Yeah, that's weird. That's fucking strange. I mean you just have an iron in cases. Yep. All right, so let's talk about the actual event.
It's like three euro to buy a fucking iron in here. You're going to pack one in your luggage from now on? Don't make me get a travel iron. I'll do it. It's such a fucking thing. They're battery operated. So gross. Why is it gross? So let's talk about the actual event. So when we turned up, the theme of the event was, it's called Black Seduction. So the theme of the event was black attire. So on the first night, women would wear little black dresses and men would wear black suits. And on the second night, it was even more formal with gowns expected and actual tuxes and stuff like that. Or ties.
Yeah. So basically a very well laid out and I guess well attired group. right? Yeah, except for the dude who turned up in a pair of white sneakers. I was going to say, there was one dude there who turned up in jeans and white sneakers and he was literally, he was the odd one out. Well, he was the single guy as well. So he'd kind of thrown himself well out of the pool. Yeah, dude, no one's going to pay attention to you except to poke fun at you. Yeah. Like, so weird. Which you did profusely because you were a monster.
I liked the atmosphere with the fact that people were just really looking great. What did you think? What were your impressions? I agree, especially the second night, some of the guys in terms of what they were wearing, they really brought it on, guys and girls. I mean, obviously the girls. That always goes without saying. But even, you know, the guys, all of the guys were dressed well, which is kind of unusual at the events we go to or any events. Yeah. You know, there's normally, the guys are normally the ones underdressed by comparison to the ladies.
But the ladies, some of them were just stunning. Some of the dresses that were worn, even on the first night we which was, remember on the first night you were like, holy shit, I don't have a dress that's capable of keeping up with these ladies. Yeah. If this is the informal night. Yeah. Yeah. People were rolling up in like gowns. It was a good look. Yeah. So you liked the atmosphere that they kind of created with that? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I think the atmosphere was really good.
I actually think the event on a whole was awesome for most people that were there, but that's because most of them could speak the local language. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, in terms of the actual what happened at the party, so it was an open bar. You go in, you get your swag bag, you check in, you get a bracelet if you're doing both of the nights. Different colored bracelets for people who were staying on site at the castle as well. So they had a gold bracelet and we had a black one. I thought that was interesting. There was others as well. There was first timers was a different color as well.
Okay. We didn't get that bracelet. No, first timers to any event. Like they offered – So the single lady that we were with had a different colour bracelet. Oh, interesting. And so did some of the other couples. That was the first time. And then we were connecting with a few different people and we connected with a specific couple and we were spending some time with them on Friday night. Now, this is a couple that we had actually spoken to on a dating site, I guess, a month or two beforehand. We were trying to arrange a meet-up. Yeah. More than once, actually, we've spoken to them. Yeah.
So we were trying to organise a meet-up, then they went overseas – sorry, they went somewhere and couldn't get we couldn't catch up with them then the next time we went somewhere and we couldn't catch up with them you're in the US or something like that so he called us over to his table on the Friday night do you remember what one of the first things that he said to us was your profile photos are shit guys are much more attractive in in real life than you are in your photos yeah so which I actually take as a compliment because frankly speaking most people are better in their photos than they are in real life so that means I'm hotter than I think I am so what do you when he said that to you what were your first first thoughts uh okay well he said that we're we're better we look better in real life but do you remember the follow-up comment that he made just about the one photo where i look gay no what no he actually said to us that we'd probably get a lot of people reaching out to us and interested in playing with us if we change the photos on our website on the dating profile yeah yeah i thought that was really funny so he he kind of gave us a compliment but it was a little bit backhanded i think okay so that was funny so we spent a bit a lot of time with them.
I only heard the compliment. Chatting and hanging out and flirting and stuff like that on Friday and then we had lunch with them on Saturday. What were your overall impression of them as a couple? They seem lovely. I mean, she's very attractive. I don't know what else to say. They just seem lovely. She struggles a little bit with English, even though her English is actually very good when she uses it. I think it's more just an embarrassment potential thing that she's worried about. So he did a little bit, he did some translating along the way.
Don't get me wrong, her English is enough that she can give obvious consent to anything that you're discussing. There's no problem with that and she understands enough of what you're saying to get away with that. Yeah, I don't know. They were nice to talk to. They seemed interesting. So we were going to play with them or we had spoken about playing with them and that was the idea of kind of where we were going, right? And then there was some conversation that you guys had that I was out of the mix. I think I was in the bathroom. or something. I'm not sure where I was.
But tell us about the conversation that you guys had about playing. Okay. Well, he said that they play, they're interested in playing separately on the same bed to us, basically. Yeah. So what we would call same room sex. Now, the reason that this was, and this is not an issue, you want to do same room sex, it's not a problem at all. And we've done that a lot of times with different people.
What kind of threw us off was the fact that on the Friday night they actually mentioned that they were fucking in their room for three hours and left the doors open in the hope that somebody would come in and want to play with them. So our interpretation of that at this point was that clearly they were interested, clearly they swap with people, you know, they're interested in play, we'd spend this time with them and then they mentioned this. So our idea of this or what we perceived this conversation to be was that it was a potential out for them.
It was an opportunity for them for them to reject us without actually rejecting us. Is that fair to say? I mean, not rejecting us is a pretty harsh word, but more that they weren't interested in potentially playing with us that night. Yeah. So not necessarily forever, just that night. Right. Yeah. Turns out there was a bit of a miscommunication though. Yeah, this is a problem when you don't speak the language. So we ended up leaving. A couple of days later, him and I were messaging backwards and forwards. I mean, let's just establish why we left. though.
It wasn't because of the fact that we didn't want to play beside them. It was that I had to – I was the non-drinking driver for two nights in a row and it was getting quite late. It was already in the a.m. at this point. And I frankly said, look, I'm not going to stick around. I'm not going to stay here drinking for another two hours to have sex with you when I can have sex with you at home two hours before now. It was definitely – Definitely a contributing factor to us leaving. Yeah, of course. Because, of course, we're like, okay, we thought we were going to play, we're not going to play.
So you were saying like – Yeah, I'm just establishing it wasn't a dummy spit though. It was more just that there was a whole lot of other things going on there. Like it was late at night. I had to drive home. I was getting sick of standing around watching other people drink. Everyone else was having a lot more booze and hence, in my equation, fun. So I decided that I was done with that in – in the books and the idea that I believed that it was just a tonight scenario that that was the case, then we could catch up with them again another time, which we plan to. Yeah.
So what are your thoughts on the entertainment? So basically there was a few different pieces of entertainment. There was the saxophone guy. Saxophone guy has the best fucking lungs out of anyone I've ever met in my life. That dude doesn't smoke. Playing for like four hours straight. He doesn't smoke cigarettes, I've decided. Fuck no. Jesus. He must be the only person in Croatia. And if he does, he sucks one of them down in a breath. Just like one Siggy gone. Yeah. So saxophone guy was there for both nights as well as a DJ and there was also a fire dancing lady.
What do you think about the random performance on the grass and everything like that? For me, it felt out of place. It went very quickly. Yeah, I feel like she drove a lot longer to get there than the show she put on for sure. Oh, fire performers are always very quick. So for example... In Miami, I was looking at hiring a fire performer and it was a 15-minute performance for $750. Okay. Yeah. So they're always like quite short. So if you double that, give them $1,400, do they do twice as long? They take a break in between. What? Yeah. They can't keep dancing.
They consider it to be two different performers. Yeah. I think it was really the atmosphere was great. I think that the drinks were good. I think that the food, the canapes. What do you mean the drinks were good? You had vodka and lemon? lemonade all night, vodka Sprite all night. Hmm. I wonder where all that wine came from that I was drinking in the champagne. You drank wine and champagne as well. What drinks are you talking about that were good? Those ones. Okay. I mean, nothing terribly special about a bottle of wine. I thought that the party was well arranged.
I thought the venue was really cool. I thought that the setup was great. The pool was not great. For the pool day on Sunday. Yeah, that's actually one of my next things. So... We were able to go on Saturday, Friday night and then Saturday night. So on Saturday day, they had this pool party. They just call that Saturday. They had this pool party and we went to lunch and then went to the pool party because I was excited. So we put on our like- Kate loves a pool party. I do. So we got our hats. We got like all the stuff that you would take to a pool party and we- So hats and all the stuff.
And we roll up and there's no outdoor pool. It's in construction. The only indoor pool they have is actually part of the sauna. Yeah. And there was two inflatable beds in there with like two naked dudes just like hanging out in the hot sauna. There was more than two naked dudes. So not a pool party. Not a pool party. Well, there was a pool and people who were willing to party. No one was in there partying. I was disappointed, man. What do you mean? How much more party do you get than naked laying on a fucking blow up on an inflatable mattress? Yeah. That screams party to me.
Actually, let's play some audio from a video that we were Okay, pool party, Daryl. Didn't have a pool. Well, there was a pool. It was inside. There was a pool. I thought the pool party was outdoors, so it took a shitload of, like, hats and... Pool party.
jewelry and like body jewelry and stuff to wear at the pool party and I didn't take any of that it was really it wasn't really a pool party we went in there and there was two naked dudes cocks out naturally because they're naked and that was about it I got a look at cocks though I didn't look at the cocks you got a look at the cocks both did you really yes do you know I did I was like that's cocks Yeah, and you freaked out because you're like, oh my God. I was like, cool. Oh my God. Oh my God, look out for the cogs. He's turning though. Yeah, I got this. This is not my first time turning.
I feel like it is your first time. And it just wasn't the kind of pool party with the DJ that we were expecting, I guess. So we had lunch and we sat down and we spoke to a really nice couple. It was lovely. It was lovely. Yeah. It just lacked the pool, which I might add a number of people mentioned. And also the guy who ran the event. There's a half-finished pool. pool there which would be great. It's like next year. Next year. It's going to be lit. And I agree. The rest of it's awesome so the pool is not a big problem. I'm kind of hungry. Maybe you should have eaten more than a fucking salad.
I had a steak. Salad. In my mind too I was like okay daytime pool party it's an opportunity for us to mingle and meet some people. Still at three and a half stars here though. To set it up for later on in the evening. We ended up having lunch with the couple that we were just talking about and that was really great, spoke to her a lot more. Yeah, but we trapped ourselves. Yeah. So that's another reason why you're a little bit pissed off because in your mind you're like, we didn't mingle enough, we didn't talk to people. We didn't mingle at all.
For the whole lunch meal we didn't mingle with anyone. We sat there talking to two people, which I don't really have an issue with. It's just that we could have also sat for a while talking to them and also talked to other people. Let's talk about that actually. actually, because... So we looked kind of like we were excluding others in the way we were seated because we were sat at a four-person table in between two really big fucking posts. Let's talk about that, actually, because I had been sitting with people before that and... So did I? Throughout this entire...
Why you weren't there and stuff, but throughout this entire event, there were some people that were flat-out ignoring us and there were some people that were not communicating with us and there were some people that were really trying to communicate with us. And this not a negative on these people because we were speaking a foreign language in their country. So we were obviously speaking English. Now, we've mentioned in the cultural tidbits before that 70% of Croatians speak English, which is true.
This particular party, however, I went online and looked up where people were from and people were from Germany, Austria, Bosnia, Serbia, Hungary. Cool. So although Croatians speak English quite well, the countries that were there don't necessarily speak speak English or a lot of English. And so it was... I think there were about three people at that event who didn't speak English. And why do people keep ignoring us? They didn't keep ignoring us. We ignored them. We sat at a table with two other people for the entirety of the lunch.
So on a number of occasions, I tried to talk to people both Friday and Saturday night. Actually, I recall one specific table that we went inside to talk to on Friday night, walked in and there was a group of six people and did the whole kind of tried to open the conversation up to us, walked up.
said hey Kate and Daryl and then we apologized a prosti samo angleski as in we speak only English and there was a group of six people who kind of looked at us funny and then turned back to the conversation that they were having and then continued having the conversation with each other yeah so if there was only three people at the event that didn't speak English then those people did outright ignore us then is what you're saying yeah I didn't say that everyone there was willing to speak English with us right so you do think people were ignoring us and making the decision not to talk to us?
No, I think it's just difficult when you're around a table like that, when you're already holding a conversation in a different language and then somebody else turns up and wants to change the language. It is difficult. I think that one of the things that was a big takeaway is how exhausting it is. The implication of ignorance is the thing that I have the problem with. I don't think people were ignoring us. I think that they were already in a conversation speaking a language that they're kind They weren't ignoring us.
Why would they change languages to something that is not their standard and they're not comfortable in just because two fucking peanuts turn up who can't speak the language? So did you find it generally exhausting? I mean, it was an exhausting night, yes, for a few reasons. One, the language barrier was a problem, but also you weren't interested in approaching anyone from the point that somebody didn't respond to you. I kept saying, you were like, oh, let's, I said, let's go over there and talk to them. And you'd be like, oh, I don't really want to.
So on Saturday night, we actually spoke to at least 20 different couples at least. You said more than once, I don't feel comfortable walking over to people and breaking up their conversation in a different language and asking them to speak English. And we still did. I agree we still did. And that was because every time you brought that up, I said, well, we've got to fucking do something here. We can't just stand in the corner and talk to each other if we want to meet people. We want to meet people.
when we went back that night we were dressed up and they were we were having conversations with quite a few people because we were having we're at a table of a shit ton of smokers that couple wasn't there at that point in time so we were about for about two hours we were chatting to about three different tables of people and I think one of the things at this event that was difficult again to deal with was the just sheer volume and percentage of people that were smoking cigarettes I again we we think it's supposed to be like 30 40% here of people that would smoke, but at that event I think it would be higher like 90%.
Where do you think that was at? Yeah, that's probably about right. Yeah. I mean, overall, did that bother you? I don't care anymore. You can't afford to care in a country where there's 40% of the people who smoke. If you want to find people who are interesting to you, you find sexually attractive and don't smoke, you're basically fucked. You may as well not try. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough one. I think that it did make it, it makes it a bit difficult to kind of, I think, have a conversation and start to flirt for me when somebody's blowing smoke in your face for hours on end. I don't know.
And it's not just that person, you know, it's the people next to you. Well, then you're fucked here. Yeah. Would you go back to the party? If I knew how to speak the language. So you won't go to one of these parties again without speaking the language at all? If you feel more comfortable around people that you can't speak the language of, and we can just try to chat with people and enjoy the time, whether it includes conversation or not, then yeah. But otherwise, no. Because if you're not comfortable, then you won't come over with me. I don't have a problem with that, actually.
I think one of the things at this event, and I think it was the Friday night when we were having this conversation about like we really need to push ourselves to go and talk to people. It would be better if it was a feeling like it was a higher percentage for both of us so it's not just feeling like it's one person doing all the work all the time and picking a table. I think if it was going to be a bit more fairer it would be on both of us to initiate that. But hopefully I think that the future events too maybe wouldn't have this kind of this difficulty in language.
I mean even in some of the other places that we've been around the world there wasn't this high of a percentage of people who we couldn't really converse with easily. Okay I'm recording this on my phone because one of the things that we forgot to speak about was a requirement for the ladies to change down into lingerie at a certain point of time during the night. I wanted to keep this as a separate segment and we totally forgot to talk about it after we were talking about the language issue.
And as you can tell, when we're talking about the language issue, we were getting pretty heated into who should be taking responsibility for trying to spark up the conversation and everything else. So you may have heard some of that. But anyway, here is what was advertised on the event. So this event actually had some boundaries, I would say, in terms and expectations, actually. So this was said on the website prior to you even booking your tickets, you knew that this was a requirement. And I quote, at 2300, the ladies will go to a special room and change into sexy lingerie.
In the meantime, gentlemen can get comfortable by removing their jackets and ties. Please don't forget to bring a bag in which you'll put the clothes. So what this basically meant was that at a certain point in time, you have to dress down, but just the women. Now, this is not an uncommon requirement in terms of dressing down. Some clubs require you to dress down before you might go into the playroom or visit the playroom areas. And that dressing down could be either lingerie or it could be a towel or something like that. That may be some of the requirements.
Other clubs or other private parties may require a dress down for everybody at a certain point in time. And sometimes they just use that as an opportunity to... to move the party forward. But this particular time, it was just the women. So just the women were required to dress down. Now, I actually put this up in the swingers community and it was really interesting reading some of the comments. It had 173 comments, you guys. So I can't read all the comments, but I tried to pick a few that I thought were relevant and interesting and I wanted to kind of talk about these.
But what I will do is I'll link the full discussion here in the forum in the show notes so that way you guys can if you if you're interested you can kind of go and check out people's interpretation so let me see here tumbleweed fresh is a single female and she said i'd hate this the time requirement is weird but what annoys me most is the gender disparity it makes me feel like the women are there to be oogled but the men aren't either everyone is oogling or nah that's a pretty common one so a lot of people actually thought that this was rather sexist you know and if we're going to get people to dress down one I'll get everybody to dress down and you know some people are there to look at all different kinds of bodies so that was interesting this couple is actually from London so they're London swing couple and they said we've heard of this being called Dutch style and have heard of it in European parties where a bell is literally rung to let people know the party is changing to those rules it sounded like a lot of fun once in a while but not something we'd want at every single event Emmett 419 from New England This is quite a long one, but I really want to read this to you guys because it just made me actually laugh out loud.
We were at a party with hilariously mismatched X-Men. from different cultures. This is a real thing too, guys. In terms of swinging in Europe versus swinging in Australia versus swinging in Asia versus the Americas, it is very, very different how people approach it. And I guess that's one of the reasons why we try to bring you this cultural tidbits to the podcast because it is quite different depending on where you are in the world.
And as we're going to Carpe d'Arc soon, you know, this huge event in France, we hope to really kind of talk about that too and how that differs from things like desire. Let me get back to the story. So... mismatched expectations from different cultures. There were maybe eight couples at this party and everyone was getting to know one another. One couple clearly did not fit in in appearance or attitude. Unlike everyone else they were seriously out of shape. They were sullen. More people were showing up and things were heating up although still vanilla.
The male half of this couple was complaining that things were better in Europe. He announces to the party that he is going to the bathroom and by the time he emerges people if people aren't getting naked, he and his wife will leave and never come back. We looked at him like his nuts. He goes to the bathroom, he comes out of the bathroom, he looks around and finding the situation not to his satisfaction, leaves with his wife. Half an hour later, everyone is getting naked and having sex. I just thought that was funny.
I thought I would mention that because absolutely it does bring in that cultural side of it where there are just completely different understanding of what is fun. Okay, New Jersey Lifestyle said, I don't get... get all this hate on this. I don't understand the hate. So there was a lot of forum, a lot of posts that were disliking this requirement to change down into lingerie. First, I've been told many times that well-dressed men for women is men. Sorry. First, I've been told many times well-dressed men is like men in lingerie.
So in other words, men in suits, which is what they all were, is like lingerie, which is actually something that I've said on the podcast so many times, it's crazy. I personally look very good in a suit. I look very bad in lingerie. Secondly, it is all voluntarily. It's not like this is a surprise. My wife would probably go no problem. And if you wouldn't like it, don't go, but it's not some anti-female anti-rights thing. It's, this is the party. If you don't like it, don't go. We've been to far too many parties over the years where everyone is too shy to move it to the next level.
My wife herself is very shy, but when it's a group thing like this, it's much more relaxing for her. So she's not the odd one out. So go and check out the links in the show notes guys. But, um, It's interesting because when this first came about, I thought, ha, this is interesting. And I can see how there are varying opinions on people thinking that this is a little bit sexist or it feels a bit strange or it feels very forced. But also on the other hand, I think kind of go with the flow. Like that person was saying, if you don't like it, don't go.
For me, I think that it would help people to maybe progress to the next level.
I also thought it was kind of – funny that the women all kind of went and got dressed up together and then kind of came came back out and there was some champagne and things in the room so I think you could actually make it quite fun and not necessarily make it that it's weird and odd it did feel a little bit weird not at this party in terms of the time what actually felt more strange to me was actually the walk back in because obviously then everyone's coming down and they held us at the top of the stairs to kind of come down into the stairs and almost doing like a lingerie show.
I think if it had been a little bit more fun and played on that whole lingerie catwalk kind of idea, I think that would be really, really awesome. But on a personal level, I didn't feel like it was necessarily a bad thing. Would I want it at every party I attended? Probably not, no. Particularly if you're in the middle of actually getting along with a couple, you know, if you're in the middle of flirting and you're in the okay, this is going to head to perhaps the playroom soon. And then someone comes by and they're like, Hey, it's 2300. You've got to go up into the bedroom.
That can be, you know, a bit strange. So I wouldn't like it at every party, but certainly it was an experience that I thought was okay. I will say that there were a lot of women that were very stressed about the lingerie that they had, um, which I thought was an interesting perspective. One of the single ladies that I was hanging out with at the time was very, very concerned about showing her body, um, And so we kind of hung out for a little bit and we were just talking about the fact that sometimes you've just got to own your body and kind of just go with it.
So that was interesting to kind of hear and see her perspective on that as well, particularly like being a single woman. You know, it's a bit different, at least with me and the other lady, we were able to come back down and kind of parade in front of our husbands. And she was with us, but it just felt a bit odd for her, I think, a little bit. So that was an interesting thing that I just really wanted to share with you guys before we get ready to close out the podcast. So that's the lingerie at 2300 hours. We'll be back in a second.
Okay, and as we get ready to close out this episode, I really want to thank you guys for tuning in and to listening to that. As I said earlier, it got a little bit heated there when we were talking about the language barrier. And I think the reason behind that is because you do feel like you are kind of letting the team down a little bit with the struggle of communicating with people. So that was really interesting for Daryl and I to experience and something that I hope we get better with, particularly me. You know, yes, I was very concerned with interrupting people.
I felt like I was just irritating people. I felt like I was really bringing people down and, you know, just inconveniencing people. And, you know, rightly so, because we are speaking a foreign language. So yeah, that's actually the case. So before we go, I just wanted to shout out to our patrons. If you were part of our Patreon team, our crew in June, then you would have seen the eight minute kind of backstage video that we produced going to this event for those number of days. If you're not a member of our Patreon, we would really appreciate you guys to actually support us.
We're actually trying to get to 100 patrons by the end of 2021. We would love your help. For $5 a month, you can support our efforts to normalize alternative relationships. And of course, you get all those exclusive kind of backstage bonuses as well. And here's what we've got coming up. If you are a Patreon member before August, what you're going to actually get some backstage scenes on is two visits to the local club here in Croatia because we're going to Anaconda Club. That's coming up. So you get two backstage visits to the club and we're going to take some video there as well.
And you'll get full backstage scenes at our entire week at Kapdag in the nudist village in August, of course. So if you guys want to support us on there, you could head over to patreon.com forward slash swinging down under and the link is in the show note. But otherwise, guys, I hope that you found that castle party in Croatia intriguing. We are heading to possibly Venice this weekend. We're going to drive to Italy and And then the weekend after that, we're going to the club. So we've got a lot more stuff coming up for you. And oh, by the way, totally just had a threesome last night.
So I'm going to play a bit of audio that I surprised Daryl with. And that's going to be the next episode. We're going to be talking about that threesome. But for now, here is some random audio that I took on my phone from Daryl before the single guy turned up at our apartment. So I'll leave you with that. And otherwise, I hope you guys are great. Bye. Real quick, how's my hair? Yeah, very good.
It is important to really take notice of your grooming regime and make sure that you know everything is just nice and ready in cases you never know truly you never know what's gonna happen and sometimes no no no not the vibrating one sometimes you just want to make sure that you know you're hair free hair free since 93 all right well that's the wrap-up for the castle party I don't really have anything else dad okay okay Bye. you you
