Curious questions about Swingers? Want to know more about being a Swinger and the Swinging Lifestyle?
In today's episode we do a Swinger Question Q&A Quickie, we're calling this Volume 1 as we intend to do these at least monthly on our swinger podcast. Feel free to DM or email us a question and we will answer it for you in a future episode.
Swinger Questions
Here are the questions we answer on today's Swinger Questions Quickie Volume 1 episode.
Implied consent at Cap D'Agde and Dark Playrooms
Porn Theatres in Swingers Clubs
Condom use on Swinger profiles
Which Swinger pays for the hotel for play?
Swinger couples reaching out after parties for play dates
Should we go to a Swingers Party on New Years for our first club visit?
Support us
Wanna help us out and support the show? We would love you to consider supporting us on Patreon from only $1 a month & you’ll get access to exclusive content and live podcasts. Join us www.patreon.com/swingingdownunder
Swinging Lifestyle Events
Podcast-A-Palooza Join us next year in June 2022 for our biggest event yet https://podcast-a-palooza.com/
Head to Naughty In Nawlins 2022 https://www.swingingdownunder.com/naughty/
Visit our website for videos, blogs, podcasts, newsletters and swinging lifestyle resources. https://www.swingingdownunder.com/
Love, Peace and Respect
C&D
We are a swinging lifestyle podcast, we talk about sex, being a hotwife and non-monogamy, please ensure you are of legal age to be listening to our sexy stories.
If you’re interested in learning more about the swinging and hotwifing lifestyle join us on our sexy swinger hotwife podcast. We share information our personal experiences and journey, swinger event, swinging dating sites, reviews for swingers resorts and more.
Transcript
you're listening to the wanderlust swingers podcast with aussie hosts kate and daryl if you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle you've definitely come to the right podcast or maybe you just love travel adventures either way we share our personal sometimes juicy sexy stories as well as swingers club and event reviews interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has.
We hope you enjoy, now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome to episode 141 of the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. This one's a bit of a quickie, a bit of a Q&A quickie. Okay. Yeah, so we just recorded another episode a second ago. We're just recording them, getting them done. I refreshed my Guarnovino because I'm about to board a flight tomorrow.
Actually, I'm about to board three flights over 27 hours and then have to isolate in a hotel and then get multiple pcr tests but hey that's international travel the new normal yeah i feel like we all have to do that though you know yeah i know but this is about me oh sorry gotcha yeah hey so today's episode is going to be narcissistic speaking of narcissism today's episode is all going to be uh it's going to be a q a session going to be a quickie we're going to're going to get this getting get done, get out, kind of how I like to be when I masturbate solo.
That's how you like to be in most sexual scenarios. Actually, no, that's not true. Sometimes you just go to sleep. Right. Today's first question is from Bert. I wish it was from Bert the Comedian, but unfortunately it's not from Bert the Comededian, but I'm sure this Burt is equally as funny. Burt said, I had a question from your Cup d'Arg episode regarding implied consent. When you touched on the foam party at one club, which is the day party, the famous foam party that happens at Cup d'Arg in France, while in fantasy terms, that sounds delightful.
In a practical setting, it seems rather precarious. Is implied consent something you have experienced within your own journey if so was this set up behind the scenes some behind the prep that made the environment safe to explore well i think in that particular scenario the implied consent is you walking through the door yeah yeah i mean this is this is a this is an area where play is kind of expected it's an expectation once you're in there that you're open to play in any way that the people around you are open to play with. That doesn't mean you do something that you don't want.
I mean, you can still turn people down, but it does mean that people will very much approach you with what I would call not aggressive but over. They may very well grab your junk yeah they may work very well that may be the first interaction you have with them yes um yeah and no no i mean it's not a it's not an environment where you know rape becomes the things but it's certainly an environment where there's a high level of presumed consent just by going into that room. Yes. And this is a similar circumstance. So if you look at the cup dog phone party, but I don't want to single that out.
If you look at like, for example, a dark room, dark rooms at some swingers events exist there and there is a level of implied consent going into that room because the whole idea of these rooms is that it's a sensory deprivation you don't know who's in there because you can't fucking see anybody you so therefore you don't know if those people are your sexual interest if they are your attractive like they could be completely different age than you're used to playing with different body shape whatever whatever and those people may come up while you're even engaging in sex with your partner and as daryl said grab your tits or whatever it might be they might whisper into your ear saying like can i play with you or they might can i give you they might exactly so uh yeah i i think there's certain levels of of uh consent that i certainly am not comfortable with and the phone party and a dark room dark room of those locations where I wouldn't find myself in those environments likely because I understand that there's a level of consent there that I may not be okay with.
The other thing to me as well is that in those environments where, especially the dark room where you can't see people, some people think that's a big turn on.
You're like,'re like i don't know who's touching me whatever that could be interesting if you had pre-vetted and maybe there was like a group of 14 people that you knew there's there's very little difference between this and a glory hole i realize that but what i'm saying is like if that was something you were interested in but you didn't want to go into a dark room of strangers if you knew that the 14 people that were in that room were of sexual interest to you, but then you didn't know which one of them was touching you, that might be interesting.
But walking into a dark room at a hotel takeover where there's 200 people in the room, not for me. Definitely not for me. It's not for me on multiple reasons. I just, I don't get turned on by that thought. Like if I knew the people in the room and I knew I was sexually attracted to them, that may turn me on. But walking into a room with 200 strangers and not knowing whether they're good humans, sexually interesting, attractive to me, it is not a turn on for me. So, you know, I know that your question was about implied consent. Yes.
I think once you walk through those doors, there is a level of implied consent. Yes. And you need to use your voice to express no. If you're in those environments, for starters, if you don't wish to be in an environment where consent is implied, which I can say there's many people out there who have that opinion and they're absolutely welcome to it, you've got to be willing to evaluate a location that you believe has some implied consent and not put yourself in that situation. Yeah, it is interesting. How would you feel about having a dark room at an event that we were running?
How would you feel about that? Yeah, I don't know. I've not really put any thought to it. It would be, I think, look, everybody to their own. There's people out there who really enjoy these types of environments where they don't know what's going on. They don't know who they're with. They walk out of there without I've got a, a, a, look, everybody to their own. There's people out there who really enjoy these types of environments where they don't know what's going on. They don't know who they're with.
They walk out of there without a name, a number, you know, any idea of who the person is they possibly just had penetrative sex with. You know, if that's what floats your boat, then all power to you. Go nuts, honestly. You know, again, I come back to a glory hole being a simple example of this. As a male sticking your genitals or a female sticking your genitals up to or through a glory hole puts you in a position where you don't know what the other end of that might look like. If you're okay with that and that excites you, then do it.
But you have to be careful of this because you have potentially put yourself in a situation where you have stretched your boundaries past what you're comfortable with, with very little recourse. Yeah. And that's where I'm concerned about having them. I know a lot of people are rarely- Yes, it's the recourse is that people might put themselves in a position where they don't feel comfortable to say no or to stop something that's going on because they've put themselves in an area where there's expectation of consent. Well, the other thing for me is I can't provide security in that circumstance.
So if I'm thinking about it from an event manager's perspective and somebody says to me, I really want a darkroom at one of your events, my immediate thought is I can't provide any kind of security in there. I don't know what's going on in there. You just got to put people in there with night vision glasses on.
I mean, you could do it, but that's not really the point is because the point is they could still put, people could still put themselves in a situation where they've over consented without actually consenting, which means it's a non-consensual situation, which means it's against the law and the other thing about it too is is that you don't know you just said about non-consent or maybe they get them they go over their boundaries the other thing that could happen during this you know journey into a dark room or foam pit or whatever it might look like is um you could really unknowingly trigger yourself oh yeah if you're if you're a sexual trauma survivor and you go into one of these rooms you could easily be triggered by something or or if you're i mean it's it's about sexual preference as well i mean if you go into an environment where where there's as an example uh a straight female and you go into a uh a room like there's a phone pit where perhaps the other women in the room are bisexual or lesbian, you may put yourself in a situation where you're now having experiences that you're not interested in and actually might repulse you.
Well, I guess the other thing too is with the dark room is that if you can't see, you don't know who you're touching or where you're touching. And so very much so you may accidentally touch someone in an area where they just do not want to be touched. And so I think it's a, it's a real, it does turn a lot of people on for me. It's, there's just too many challenges. What about if it was the circumstance I just gave to you? 14 people in a room, so say seven couples that you know that you find sexually interesting.
What about going into a room with those specific people and that's it how would you feel about it feel different about it than a 200 person random 200 people off the street scenario yeah absolutely i mean i think that would be an interesting event maybe even the the difference there is though vetted consent discussed sexual preference yeah all those but the the thing is i mean you you're not going to be able to you're not going to be the sexual preference thing becomes very difficult right because you're not going to be able to identify people in a room that's totally black without touching them that's right because say you've got those 14 people three of the gentlemen identifies bisexual four of the women identify as bisexual, the other people identify as hetero.
That would be very, very difficult to navigate unless you knew who was in there. And you'd have to talk about it, which actually takes away from the whole idea. So I think the idea would be that you'd have to engage with people who are, they may not be bisexual, but they may be able to deal with a touch, an inappropriate touch, and then navigate people's hands away from that, right? Right. Without feeling disrespected or upset or whatever, which, again, if you feel that that might be the case, this is not a room you should be in. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting question, though. Thanks, Bert.
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. It is very interesting. And have we experienced this along our journey? I mean, we've seen it. We've seen, like, dark rooms, as Kate mentioned. We've never put ourselves in that situation. Yeah.
We've never been in a location where we didn't have the ability to actively consent or or or not on on what was happening and i use the example of potentially being triggered because i honestly think i would be being in a dark room i think that i would be very triggered and run out of the room and feel unsafe and so i don't want to put myself in that in that position so for you the even the known quantity even the known quantity room. No, the known quantity, I think I'd be okay with.
It's the, it's the 200 strangers feeling vulnerable, not knowing who these people are and feeling, it's, it's the more feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability for me is the first point. Then secondary to that would be the factor of, um, is this person a good human? Do I find them attractive? Would I have sex with them if the lights were on? Right? That's the second part. But vulnerability for me, safety for me, vulnerability comes first, like first and foremost, especially when it comes to things like penetrative sex in terms of protection as well.
Yeah, but you don't – I mean if you need lights on to tell whether you're having protected penetrative sex, you're not doing it right. No, but it is definitely a facet, whereas everything else comes kind of secondary to that, though, is like would I be attracted to them? Would I have sex with them if the lights were on? I want to know people aren't out, you know, doing horrible things on the weekend to other people, and I want to know that person's a good human. So, yeah, it just doesn't... Why the fuck are you with me? That's a whole...
That seems like a, you know, therapy session just waiting to unfold. I've got a question for you. How do you feel about – we're on to the next question, by the way. I figured that by you scrolling down on the computer screen. Hey, insert spacer music here. Thank you very much, Kate. How do you feel about theatre rooms, like porn theatre rooms? Not porn on screens in Swingers Club, but actual designated porn theatre rooms in Swingers Club. How do you feel about them? For, against, neutral? I think it would depend on the porn, depend on the night, depend on the people.
So I think there's something to be said for porn generating interest, but I don't want to walk into a club and have porn on every TV. I think it becomes kind of stereotypical in that regard. So having it in a dedicated area where people who are wanting to watch porn and it gets them going or gets their juices flowing around playing with a group of people, I think that's not a bad thing. I think that's a good thing. It just depends.
The other problem is, of course, it takes up generally quite a bit of room interesting you say that daryl and the room is the problem if you lose a shitload of room for it then it's i don't think it's worth it i've seen less people having sex in porn rooms than than i've seen having sex on beds in an equivalent space if you lay it out that way right so that's actually the question i asked on twitter so i actually did a twitter poll and i said porn theaters and swingers clubs how do you feel about them we've been to three clubs lately and all have had a large space dedicated to a porn theater room all three clubs were overcrowded and the playrooms were heaving with people waiting curious what you think and i gave two potential answers.
I like them. Waste of precious space. And 64% of people said it was a waste of precious space. Yeah, I think it's much more interesting once if you manage to get the live porn going in the club, that tends to be a lot more interesting than the falsified porn that's on the screen. So I'm not particularly fond of them. I think they're a bit of a waste of space. I think that the couches in them, I just, I don't know. I just, they're not my preference, but I want to read you an interesting response to this poll.
So that I love it when other people are casually watching us rather than gathered around in a semicircle staring at us in close proximity when we're on a bed. And I said, that's a really intriguing response, an area where you can be an exhibitionist without necessarily putting yourself in a group room or feeling like an exhibit at the zoo.
So when you think about that, right, if you're playing on a group bed and people are allowed to, voyeurs are allowed to come in and watch and they're standing close to the bed or whatever that is a very different sensation to maybe playing in a porn room where people are milling in and milling out yeah don't you think yeah of course so that was not quite swingers said that on twitter and i thought it was a really interesting perspective so they said they actually prefer to play in a in a theater a porn theater room yep i liked that yeah and this just goes to show you that, like, each of the different areas, even if their intended use is whatever it is, people find another use for it that works for them, which I thought was just great.
Like, when they wrote that, I was like, uh-huh. That makes a lot of sense to me. Because when you think about that time that we played on the large circle group bed in Colette, Dallas, I remember there was a lot of people up next to the bed within arm's reach, and I think a few people did actually reach in and touch. That is a very different sensation of being an exhibitionist and having those people like that because you kind of almost do feel like it's a performative thing versus maybe being in that porn theatre room where it doesn't feel that way because you're, I don't know.
Didn't feel that way to me. Didn't feel that way to you. Fair enough. Cue space of music. We've got our next question coming. You ready? So this one's from The Real Sophia. Sophia did a Twitter poll and that sent me a direct message and asked me if we'd ever spoken about condom usage. And it was more so about the judgment of it. Let me read you this.
So The real sophia said i've noticed a lot of people posting photos with no condoms during play these photos of that are of them playing with multiple partners multiple people other than their primary partner i realize that some may take precautions before playing without a condom but i'm curious what the consensus is and she said scratch them off the list ask for an explanation on no judgment at all. 51% of people said no judgment. 22% said we'd scratch them off the list. Now- I think that question's a little too open for the three answers that are available to it.
Can you elaborate on that a little bit? Yeah, I mean, scratch them off the list. It means scratch all the people in that group off the list or, you know, like scratch condoms off the list. What's the – No, so say, for example, I'm going to use a single guy as an example. We're looking at single guy profiles. I understand what your example is. I'm just saying that if I read that question, there's multiple – Oh, you would misinterpret it. I misinterpreted that initially as scratch condoms off the list, not scratch the people off the list. No, she's saying scratch the people.
But she doesn't say that. She doesn't, but I know that's what she means. Yeah, okay. So that's fine. But what I'm saying is the poem, depending on how you read it, gives a different outcome. Right? Because scratching the condoms off the list could be that nobody wants to use condoms.
Scratch the people off the list might be, I don't i don't want to play with those people anymore so let's go with i don't want to play with people anymore so you are looking at profiles yeah you see somebody is commonly and with different people not using protection in a lot of their photos or videos that they're showing on their swingers dating profile how do you feel about it do you still approach them okay so the vast majority of STDs that are transmissible through the non-use of condoms are still transmissible whilst using condoms.
You're talking about things like mouth herpes, et cetera, et cetera. Correct. Yeah. So these are still transmissible diseases when you're using a condom or when you're not, right? So any of the herpes simplex viruses are transmissible with a condom or without. Right. Right? And that's realistically probably the main issue around condom usage versus non-condom usage because the other STDs that can be typically transmitted when not using a condom will not be transmitted if you're using a condom. Right. Yeah, that's what you're saying.
So, you know, gonorrhea, syphilis, all those sorts of things, generally not transmitted whilst using a condom. Right. Typically. So. So the answer to that question for me is purely based around statistics and logic. It's, does it make a difference? If somebody's playing with other people consistently without condoms, but then is willing to play with us consistently with condoms, then the risk is no different unless there's a condom breakage. So what you're saying is you wouldn't judge them. You wouldn't even question it.
You would just tell them here are my boundaries and we require require economy usage. And if they then said to you, I go bareback, you say, no, thank you. I say, no, thank you. Okay. And you know, that's a real simple line. And that's the case generally anyway. So that's the very balanced human, sterile response. I'm going to tell them the judgy judgy McJudges and Kate response. Oh, I'm judging this shit. I've actually, I've come to you before. You've sent me single man profiles here in Croatia where protection is, protection and testing is just not really a thing.
That's unfair to say, make that statement so broadly. It's less common than perhaps you're used to used to correct so there have been times when i've been perusing um single male profiles when i do see them with a number of ladies and couples and they're not using protection if i see that on the profile i can absolutely hands down say to you i'd see i find this i find this really interesting because It could be multiple girlfriends, yeah. The single guys – no, forget all of that.
The single guys who you would have been sleeping with without protection or with, sorry, with protection when you were single, were doing exactly the same fucking thing. They either were or they weren't. The only difference is with these guys is that you know.
So they're polite enough to give you the ability to understand what they're doing and hence make a hence make a call on that exactly which then means i can make that call yeah so they are giving me information and i appreciate that it's like it's like okay so what you're so but you gotta be careful here because what you're now asking the single men to do is not put up any of the photos of them having bareback sex no i'm asking them to be honest in their profile so then i can make the i can make that call if i'm not interested in that it's the same thing with if a you know single man which is really a cheating husband approaches us we've said in the past we really appreciate it when people are honest with us and say yes i am cheating on my wife because it gives me the information i need to make that judgment call of i'm thank you for letting me know I'm not interested and the same can be said about people who consistently play with various partners with unprotected sex and aren't tested it gives me but you're making the assumption of the non-testing as well only because of the stats that I know exist here in Croatia but again there's people who do this all over the world this is not just a Croatian understand that.
But say, for example, if I was living in a country where I knew that STI testing was free for starters, where it was readily available, where there was no shame. Tis for men here. I know it is. Where there was no shame involved and where people went. If I knew that those stats were high and then I also had the, you know, I was also like, oh, good for them. They're doing it bareback with everybody else, but hey, here's my boundaries and it's condoms.
I wouldn't have so much of a problem with it, but knowing the information that I know, yes, I'll instantly go, that's a red flag for me and I'm not interested. Cool. Yeah. I mean, and that's your call to make, but just be careful.
You don't reinforce the negative behavior through what you think, what you perceive as positive reinforcement, but in fact a negative reinforcement well in actual fact though i mean there's people out there who there's couple profiles that i see all the time where they say we only play bareback so it's just an it's again it's a matter of preference of matching people with like-minded matching yeah but i mean for for single guys again if they're having sex with with a single woman unprotected...
Like a Tinder hookup?...then potentially there is absolutely no different in mindset for them of having that same hookup with a couple. So why, you know, for them, now looking from their perspective, why would they feel the need to divulge their entire sexual history just so that they can have a hookup with a couple rather than with a single? Well, I think it comes down to just generally ethical behaviour, doesn't it? Because then you're potentially impacting multiple people's lives here. So isn't it just ethical to say this is what's going on?
So, I mean, then you should also have your – when you're having unprotected sex with your partner in your non-monogamous relationship, that should also be something that you talk about then. Do you mean us talk about with our single friends? Yeah, that we have unprotected sex. I mean, you've got to draw a line here somewhere. You can't uncover the full sexual history of someone before you sleep with them. You can't understand that they, you know, okay, well, I lost my virginity at five and And then, sorry, five, at 15.
And then, you know, at, well, I lost my virginity at five and then, sorry, five, at 15 and then, you know, at 16 I had my first gangbang, at 17 I had my first anal penetration at this, I mean, you've got to be real here. I know you've got to be reasonable, I agree with that, but that's, and that's where this information, you know, you should divulge it, but it doesn't mean I'm asking people for the blood type. But reasonable is we're giving people the information that is relevant to the situation. Yeah, and I think that is relevant. I play bareback with 30 other women in the last month.
That, to me, is relevant information. I'd like to know that. Okay. Then we need to add that to our profile because there's very few single men out there who would offer that as an understanding before maybe ignorance is bliss who fucking knows i can tell you in this particular instance ignorance might be bliss okay i've got three more for you this one is from tipsy tears who pays for the hotel my wife and i started out in the lifestyle a few months ago we had our first experience in mfm we're looking to have a we're looking to have another threesome an fmf who pays for the hotel.
My wife and I started out in the lifestyle a few months ago. We had our first experience in MFM. We're looking to have another threesome, an FMF. Who pays for the hotel? It's interesting to hear because they said, many other people have said that the other guy pays for the hotel. With that being said, now that they're talking about inviting a female, who should pay for the hotel? I don't think the guy should pay for the hotel.
So I think what happens here is the difference between, the interesting difference here between it being a male and a female and i don't know whether this is because of wage gaps because it's because of the way that people are brought up to be that the man pays for everything in our experience if a couple invites a third person out not in our experience just fucking common courtesy i mean you got two people in one person the two people are together right the one person is an add-in potentially for one night only i mean when you take somebody on a date as a single person if you ask them out on the date correct whether it's the male or the female who does the asking correct you should be paying and that's the way we roll we roll by the fact that we have invited this person out and also if we're requiring a hotel room say for example we've invited this person out and we're inviting them out in the city that we live, right?
But for whatever reason, we don't play at home. Could be because we don't like our home. Because you didn't clean the house. Could be because we didn't clean the house. True story. It could be because you've got little kids at home. Whatever the reason is, you're not playing at home. You are requiring the hotel room.
room so in my mind then that also becomes a responsibility of you to pay for that because you're then setting perimeters it's like if you if you went out on a couple date and you invited people to a three-star michelin restaurant who aren't of the same socioeconomic background as you you cannot expect them to go harvey's with you it just doesn't seem correct if you order a thousand dollar bottle of wine you can't expect them to go harvey's with you it just doesn't seem to be fair to me so in this instance regardless of the sex of the other play partner i believe the couple should be playing paying for this hotel every time yes however caveat okay caveat caveat is that the male or female who's coming along as uh or who who is organizing this actually organized the room and they're doing it there because they have the same they have an issue around potentially playing at somebody else's house because they don't want to feel trapped there and they don't want right so if they decide that no i i want my play session to be at a hotel if it's a unicorn who fears for her safety she wants the safety, she's requiring that.
Yeah, then sorry, that's up to you to pay for it. Right. I mean, yeah, unicorn or manicorn, doesn't matter. If you have a reason that you need to be in a hotel or need to be somewhere that you have to pay, then sorry. I guess it goes like this. If you're enforcing the requirement of that payment, then you need to pay for it. I think so. Yeah. Unless you're all happy to agree to split it three ways. Three ways. Not two ways. Not two ways, exactly. There's three people involved in this. So it's a three-way split. Two thirds. Which means that the couple will always place two fucking thirds.
Unless, I think the only difference is if you have a partner who maybe becomes a friends with benefits and say, for example, in this situation, they're talking about now having an FMF, say they get two or three play sessions down the road and they're still inviting this lady out. She might want to take a turn in paying for the hotel. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So I think that's the only caveat. But this is, how is this any different to any, any single individual interaction? It's not for me. For me, I look at this and I say this is generally the way society works.
Like I don't understand why a couple would think we're going to – we want this third person in our bedroom and then this third person also has to come up at the time we want, play the way that we want and then pay for the hotel.
Yeah, that person may as well just hire a fucking to me that feels hire a sex worker and have their fantasies fulfilled rather than filling your fantasies and that's exactly the point here yeah i know i know the point right let's move on uh second last question couples reaching out after parties or events the last few local parties we've attended there have been a couple at each of them that we clicked with that ended up hooking up with other people. We've all been there. It sucks. Well, we have no problem with that to each their own.
However, it is weird that they reach out the following week to set up a date with us after they kind of chose the other couples at the prior weekend. Traditional dating would say yes, but so, okay. So what do you think about that? Like if you met a couple, you've been talking to people online, you then met them at the party, everything seemed to be going great.
And all of a sudden they go off and play with another couple and then reach out to you two days later like oh my god so great meeting you let's now catch up a week later do you feel funny about that at all no yeah i don't either why don't you feel funny why are they i mean is this a monogamous right poly relationship is that what we're talking about because it doesn't sound like it it sounds like a swinging it is scenario so that being the case then hey guess what you don't fucking own them yeah i think what's going on here is they they might feel a bit slighted and what sometimes happens the word you're looking for is jealousy what happens sometimes if you put a lot of energy into that couple at an event and then all of a sudden they go and play with somebody else and then you haven't made any other connections the whole night because you've been putting the energy into that couple, this is where the problem kind of – Yeah, that's not slighted.
That's jealousy. Yeah. Yeah. And you walk away like, fuck, and then they want to catch up with you. Yeah, and then you're spiteful in your response because of the jealousy that you felt. I mean, if you liked them without that being – unless they were total twats when they did it and, you know, like flipped you off as they – Oh, if they were like meet me in the room in five minutes and then ghosted you and then you saw them ten minutes later fucking somebody else, fair. That's a different situation. Yeah, unless they're a total cunt about it.
I think this is life in a non-monogamous swinging style scenario. This is life in the big city. You're going to have times where somebody just, you know, even if you're putting out the vibe that you think you are, which is, hey, let's get it on, they may be reading that very differently and they may be thinking, well, look, they're actually not interested in us tonight. They don't appear to be. Let's give them some room. We don't know what their relationship dynamic is tonight.
They may have a fight before they arrive, blah, blah, arrive blah we'll give them room we'll go and do something else and then we'll reach out to them in three days and and set up a date with them alone so that we can have a bit more time and get to know them better and understand their dynamic and bloody blah blah and before you know it yeah so nah fuck that that's bullshit anyway so you think miscommunication no i mean it's there's a whole lot of things that can potentially be a reason for why people go off and have sex with somebody else at a club.
It's got nothing – it may have nothing to do with you. It's got nothing to do with you. Your assumption – It may have nothing to do with you. It may have nothing to do with you. If they contact you again in three days and say, hey, we'd really like to catch up – It definitely doesn't have anything to do with you. It definitely has nothing to do with you. Yeah. Other than to say that you may just not have been in the right mood in that night for what they were looking for. That's fine. I mean, yeah. Sorry, this is a no-brainer. No-brainer for you? Yeah.
I think this last question is a no-brainer. We've got one more question before we're going to close out the Q&A quickie today. Mm-hmm. Do you have any quickie music? What have you got for quickie music? Nothing. Is going to a club on New Year's Eve a good idea for our first time? Fuck no. I'm not even going to read. That's the title and there's a text underneath it. I'm not even reading that text. Yeah. I'm going to say no. I'm straight up no. No. Why are you no? Why are you no?
Because for starters, the environment on New Year's Eve is typically full of people who are going there for the first time, right? So you potentially- I would ask you to drop the mic, but they're expensive. And if you do, we're going to fight. You could potentially do something really damaging, not only for your relationship, but for others as well. I mean, yeah, nah, this is not a thing.
On an average New Year's night, what's night what would you say percentage wise the people in the crowd from 60 60 40 60 percent are total newbies perhaps only do this once a year yep versus 40 who are actually i would probably say even lower perhaps 70 30 because a lot of experienced swingers don't want to go out on new Year's to a party because they really don't like it because they can put themselves in danger. Well, I'll tell you why people don't. Generally speaking, and we've been to a lot of swingers clubs for New Year's over the years, and here's what we have found.
New Year's over the years? New Year's over the years. One, they're expensive. Oh, yeah, it's crazy. Triple the price of a normal ticket, easily. Two two you're touching non-consensually from the moment you walk in the door there is way too many people in the club it is it is the un it is hands down the busiest night yeah of the year can't get a fucking drink you can't get a drink you can't get a seat this is why generally swingers like a seat or a space or a locker or a bed you can fucking nothing. You can't get a nothing. Yeah. You ain't got nothing. Yeah. You can't spare a square. Exactly.
So can we just. I mean, that was pretty good. I'll give you a virtual. Oh, yeah. Five, five. There you go. Fuck yeah. Yeah. So this is why most swingers, like even with us on New Year's, we were contemplating, what are we going to do for New Year's this year?
i floated a club we spoke about it and then we were like wait no you did not laboudo club in london for new year's eve yes i floated that idea and then you said how about the castle party okay yeah even and even if we talk about our friends jay and angie from the average swingers we went with them one year in dallas to a club i asked them recently i'm like what are you guys doing for New Year's? You guys are going to a club? And they were like, no, no. Because again, it's expensive. It's pushy. It's whatever. But I think. I don't know that it's pushy. It's not the right word.
I mean, pushy, not in terms of like grabbing, grabbing your pussy pushy. I mean, in terms of like, there's just a lot of people everywhere. So you mean it's. Like physically pushy. Yeah. Shovey. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, pushy versus shovey are very different words. Did you say pussy versus shovey? No, I said pushy. I'm just trying not to pop. I'll see your first time. It's an insane time to get involved in a club as a couple. The other thing too is that you are- Single dude, you may fucking love it. The other thing, it depends on the kind of swinger you are too.
If you're a take no names kind of swinger, this may be a great environment for you. Nah. I also don't think many people play on New Year's because this is- Well, there's no fucking room for starters. I don't think generally people play on New Year's, but say they did play.
If you just you just went in there and you just wanted to fuck go for gold but if you're a person who's a social swinger there is no opportunity to actually make connections in the in the club on new year's like good luck to you so no i would say no i'm a hard pass i'm not i'm not i mean social swinger yeah i'm not sure we're social swingers anymore though because that would require socializing you know so it's hard to keep your edge the sharpness on your knife, you know, on the edge of your knife when you haven't really been involved in it. I keep suggesting we should just move to Canada.
And I keep suggesting you should get a fucking job there that will pay for us to move. And hence why we're at an impasse. So I don't know what to tell you. Well, I mean, why Canada? I don't know. I just feel like they're perverts. It's because it's the Australia of North America. It is. And you're perverts. So perverts. So, hey, that has been the Q&A quickie episode. If you guys want to send us an email, you can drop us a line on cnd at swingingdownunder.com. Eventually, I may change that email. I may do it. Pretty easy to do. I can just do a new email and a redirect.
It's actually crazily easy to do. So lazy. About three minutes worth of work. So lazy. Yep, you are. I agree. Do you have anything else? What else have you got? Anything else before we head out? No, I didn't put together anything for this quickie episode, given that I didn't know that we were doing one. Yeah. Surprise. Yeah, I mean, all of them are surprises. Oh, here we go. Do you have a New Year's resolution? No, and I never have. Why don't you have? Why bother?
If you need a date that is a simple shift between one number and the next to do something that you wish to do, you're doing life wrong. I want to float something by you. Oh, shit. Yep. Actually, sorry, we got an email the other day from somebody who said- You fat cunts lose weight. Is that what it's about? No. That'll be coming soon, though. We actually need to lose weight. Don't look at me and say, we, I'm happy with my guts. It's a nice little, I've got a nice little baby boy going front end here. And here's where- I've got to shed over my tools for the first time ever.
Here's where a lot of couples wouldn't actually tell the truth to their partner. We are both too fat right now. Yeah, no shit just saying yeah no i mean i prefer to look at myself myself in the mirror sideways now because it's about the width i was previously when i was face on i i've lost two inches of cock i'm going to this has turned so pear-shaped but okay because I think, you know, when we moosh our bits together now, there's a lot more cushion in between, right? Why? My birthday's coming up soon, right? Gulp. And... Turning 39. I am not fucking turning fucking... I'm not turning 39. 38.
I'm not turning 38. Are you joking? Are you actually joking or are you winding me up? Of course I'm winding you up. I mean, you're the only person I know who will probably shave their head when they turn 40. It's Brittany, bitch. So my birthday's coming up and I'm heading to Palm Springs in Nashville right around just the day after actually. And recently, you know how I had that listener buy me the lingerie that I then wore and like fucked our single friend and then fucked you in and it was quite empowering and I liked it. Like it turned me on. Yeah.
I was kind of toying with the idea of doing something similar for my birthday, like specifically setting up an Amazon wishlist or something crazy like that that just went to the u.s while i was there and like ordering like putting up there a bunch of sex toys and a bunch of lingerie and just being like slutty mcslut pants and like taking sexy photos and stuff what do you think about that just taking sexy photos videos and like doing something. Like videos, just you alone or you with others. Maybe. Maybe with others. Yeah, I mean, that would require more discussion. But yeah, ultimately.
No, I mean, not like, I'm not asking you right now. I'm saying like, what do you, do you think that would be fun and sexy and interesting? Or do you think it would just be weird? No, I think it would be fun, sexy and interesting. I kind of did too. Like in my head, I was thinking about. I mean, there's a commitment there to actually getting involved. Do the stuff.
Like, you know if you if you want to feel sexy and desired then you've got to start now with building the people who are interested you in you in that if you want to be involved with others then you've got to get a fervor going around them finding you attractive and sending you messages and asking you and and buying you stuff and then wanting to see you in it and wanting to fuck you in it you know like that i'm not saying that the people that send me stuff i'm going to have sex with no i understand that but okay say for example like for i was looking for venues in nashville for to host an event and one of the venues i saw was a really cool photo gallery like a photo studio and had all the it had like six different um i don't know what you call them like little sets yeah sets that's that's the right word um had like she's so surprised that she managed to jag the right way i'm so excited about that it had like six different little sets and one of them was like a kitchen but it was a very retro like 1960s kitchen and in my head i was immediately like if i can get two other ladies i was going to call them bitches but you know maybe maybe i can be the pimp um if i can get two other women so there's three of us in like really sexy lingerie and like cake batter in this like so the cake batter just took away like pretending to make a cake and like in like um like garters and stockings and like bending over into the oven and you know what I mean?
And like spanking her and stuff like that. I just thought that would be like super cool and I was like, well, fuck, how am I going to get all the stuff for this? And then I thought maybe it would be fun to kind of create that little thing. Yeah, absolutely. But again, even with the ladies that are involved in that, it's not like you're wanting to buy people to do it, you know?
Like you're wanting people who are actually interested in doing this with you and and think it's sexy and exciting and and want to help you plan it and you know all those sorts of things which is fine and that's what i perceive you want is again to feel feel desired and yeah and like get champagne with the ladies and like just make a whole fucking thing of it and then probably Yeah, well, and again, that being the case, you've got to start that now. You've got to find people that are around, willing, and excited by this. You know, if you want to do it, then you've got to build.
Part of the excitement for this, I'm sure, for you is the build. It's the other people, like, it's that desire thing. Yeah, I know.
So it's people going, i'm going to send you lingerie because i want to be a part of this yeah and then me feeling sexy and fueled by it yeah but not just the lingerie but also by the people that you're around but that's what i'm saying like and then i don't know i was toying with it actually came into my head earlier today and then i thought i wonder yeah i mean but i think one of the things you've got to realize here is that you're putting yourself in a position that is a, again, perceived consent position for some of these. And, you know, you're also now involving other people's time.
So if you get to a point where you're interested in it and then you get to the day and you're like, ah, no, I couldn't be fucked and you cancel it, then you've fucked with other people as well. Yeah, I know. So you can't go into this half-assed.
It's got to be something and you're like ah no i couldn't be fucked and you cancel it then you've fucked with other people as well so you can't go into this half-assed it's got to be something that you wish to do and you wish to follow through with not something that you're just excited by the prospect of but when you get to the reality of potentially hanging out with these people and having sex with them you turn turn it off that's that's i think you know just being respectful of their time and their excitement as well, especially if you've, you know, spent… Can you not be so logical now?
We can just talk about how really fun and exciting and interesting they're like. Yeah, it sounds fun, exciting and interesting. I mean, I think, yeah, certainly there's more than one person in this room who'd be interested in doing something like that. That'd be something that I'd find interesting as well. Like there's no doubt about that. As in you funding some of the lingerie and getting the videos and stuff? Certainly that.
But on the other side, also being the person that has people buy things for them and, you know, like just because I'm male doesn't mean I don't like to feel that I'm the object of desire. Very true. You know, having women buy me things because they want me to – I mean, it may be something as stupid as fucking getting a pool outfit and then coming to clean the pool with the, you know, like the whole sexual process that comes after that.
You just called me old and I just want to – fuck fuck i was just grasping for something that was male you know delivering pizza whatever it is yeah you know there's there's sexiness behind that as well okay so yeah i mean yes i mean buying the lingerie probably not i don't think that would excite you um me buying your lingerie that's not that's not what this is what's driving this view it's it's the fact that other people find you exciting that's what's driving it so there's no use me doing that and me seeing the video of the that's also of not really of interest to you i don't think i'm asking you if it's interesting to you yeah but yes it is not buying you the lingerie no because i buy you lingerie anyway and i'm saying like the whole idea yes the whole idea okay here we go a dude called tom buys me lingerie yeah and then i go and take the photos and then fuck people and have a great time and then do the video and i send that and that's like sponsored by tom kind of thing like tom has done that yeah i'm asking does it turn you on to know that Tom is out there buying lingerie, getting turned on, and masturbating to the videos and everything else?
Like does that part of it turn you on? As well as obviously you receiving the videos, but the thought and the concept of the fact that it's – Yeah, I mean, yes. Yes, ultimately. Okay, cool. That's all. I just had that thought pop in my head. That was a long story for a yes. Fuck. Thank you very much for listening to the Q&A quickie session. Hey, before we go into that, would that – I mean, given that that's away from me and there's not a lot of involvement from me and I don't really know what's going on, that would be borderline cockle, wouldn't it?
I mean, a cockle doesn't necessarily have to be that you're being insulted or whatever it might be that you just have a lack of understanding of what's happening and then you get videos or whatever whilst it's happening i think so a little bit yeah not a little bit i think that's a long way over the line i think using the term line over the line is probably not it's a long way into the blurry gray between the two between the between hot wifing and and cuckold yeah you might be right yeah okay so moving on yeah thanks for uh listening to the quickie that was not so quick at all uh the questions are always awesome if you want to reach out to us, cnd at swingingdownunder.com.
The C in the C and D may eventually change the, you know, the domain if she finds three minutes in her day to do it. Yeah. Reach out to her. She'll send, if it's abusive and derogatory toward me, she'll send it on, no problem at all. Have a fantastic evening or morning and enjoy your holiday break or christmas break and new year experience don't go to a fucking club you weirdo for your first time for your first time enjoy okay bye guys We'll see you next time.
