Swinging Lifestyle + Hotwife Lifestyle Podcast - Wanderlust Swingers Podcast
What does compersion mean to you? In today's bonus episode we are talking with Mik and Nik from Australia who created and star in a new play called ''Compersion''. They mix live sex acts with educational content, talk about consent and walk you through their real life stories about being nonmonogamous
Compersion
Noun. compersion (uncountable) Vicarious joy associated with seeing one's partner have a joyful romantic or sexual relation with another.
Compersion The Play
"Compersion" follows a real-life husband and wife (Mr & Mrs SR) as they enter the ENM lifestyle after 20 years of marriage. As they explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, they discover the importance of open communication, mutual respect, and consent in maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Links
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day everyone. Welcome to a bonus episode of the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. Today is all about compersion. It's about plays. It's about some Aussies down under. We do like our swinging Aussies down under. And we have two very special guests on the show today.
Mick and nick welcome to the show hey thanks for having us it's a pleasure and an honor to be here absolutely we're gonna get stuck in mick and nick are actually from steamy romantics you might be wondering what the hell is steamy romantics you might be catching on they are aussies so they've got quite a thick accent let's see how we go getting through this let me know if you guys can't understand a bloody word they say we'll slow down you'll slow down so we're going to talk about compersion we're going to talk about what steamy romantics is and we're going to talk about a really sex positive thing that's happening down in australia so Welcome to this bonus episode.
I hope you guys get a lot out of this. If you're down in Australia, if you're my Aussies, please do reach out to Mick and Nick because they've got some fantastic things that we're going to talk about on the show. But let's get cracking. You reach out to me and I just want to give you a bit of a bio. We'll give a bit of an introduction who Mick and Nick actually are. So Compersion follows a real life husband and wife as they enter the ethical non-monogamous lifestyle after 20 years of marriage. Congratulations, guys.
As they explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, they discover the importance of open communication, mutual respect, and consent in maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. Compersion. We're going to talk a lot about this today, but maybe to get started, tell us a little bit about yourselves. You're obviously in Australia. What's going on? Who are you? What's your ages? Where are you based? Are you non-monogamous? Give us all the hot tea. Okay. The whole CV in 30 seconds, the elevator pitch CV kind of thing. Yeah, well, we are childhood sweethearts, I guess.
We met when we were 13, 14 years old. We've been together for, I don't know, 37 years. We've been married for 20. We're both going to put performing arts. And we both have been actors and directors and writers. I'm also a cultural anthropologist as well. Nikki also teaches and does disability care as well. Yeah. And I guess Michael in his anthropology studies came up with this great idea for a master's degree. And it was all about getting online and creating characters. How do you create theatre online? How do you break the, we've broken the fourth wall, but how do you break online.
How do you make meaning? So he coerced me into being a part of that. And then I discovered my talents online, should we say. And we found your identity. We found my sexual identity. And in doing that, it awoke a whole series of discussions and brought us on this entire journey. Yeah. So we're based in we're based in Adelaide, South Australia. We're up on the Adelaide Hills. So I was thinking we actually, at this time of night in Adelaide, we've got the possums out, the geckos out. I think I heard a koala out earlier. So we might actually get some wildlife noises.
A couple of hoopsnakes and drop bears, of course. Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. The drop bears have got traps everywhere for them. Don't worry. Yeah. What sort of sexuality? How do you guys identify? Are you non-monogamous? Are you bisexual? We identify as bisexual, blissfully married, non-monogamous, definitely. Probably not polyamorous.
We're not there yet, but definitely we'd We understand that entering into any kind of ethical non-monogamy means that you're going to make connection and you're going to form relationships and meaning and that may contain itself within boundaries and sometimes it may not. And so we recognize that that is a continual discussion that goes on and on. But for the moment, we're really not, we're not in the market for that. We're just very much in the market for Social recreational fun. Yeah. Social recreational fun. I love it. Now the play is called Compersion and we're going to bust in a moment.
We're going to get to everything about this play, what you guys are doing. But before we get into that, we have a lot of phrases in the non-monogamous community and the lifestyle, if you will. And oftentimes these phrases are like, what? When you first start doing this. Now, Compersion in particular is something that I don't think a lot of people in their general day-to-day life maybe have heard of. I didn't before I became non-monogamous. So before we even get into that, what does Compersion mean to you, like for the listeners who may not have heard it before?
I think it's in its most simplest broad form, it's the opposite of jealousy. If jealousy is anxiety or business towards the happiness of someone else, then compersion is the opposite. It is the joy and the happiness you feel when someone else is happy, even if what they're doing has got nothing to do with you or doesn't impact you at all. Like you, we discovered the word when we started exploring the lifestyle and where do you go and who do you talk to and all that. And we discovered that. And we discovered it's not just going, oh, cool, that's a great idea and doing it. That's so true, Nick.
Really, really good point. Yeah, I think some people do think it's just, oh, okay, so you're just going along with anything. So well phrased, Nick. Yeah, but also that just more broadly, it's just a great idea more broadly. Like just take it out of, yeah, it's born of this lifestyle and I guess that probably feeds into later questions about where the play came from. But just as an idea and a concept broadly, it's not a bad one. Like I think it can be employed generally. Across the board, yeah.
When you start practicing it, you start noticing that it has a profound effect on your entire life and how you deal with other people. And that has an effect on other people as well. And it's not about sacrifice. And it's not about all those perceived ideas of what loving someone or being generous with someone is. We have a line in the play pretty early and the play is sort of loosely structured around trying to figure out what this word is. Yeah. And we start really early by saying, have you ever had a brand new feeling for the very first time?
And how do you know if you've got a feeling if you don't have a word to express it? How does that work? You guys have made some really interesting points there. I mean, first, you took the compersion side of it away from just being about non-monogamy and being broader. And I agree. I mean, if you think about, and I'm going to take this back to being a teenager, being a female teenager, you start to very quickly work out where things are in the hierarchy. And as a result of that, negative feelings happen.
And then that's when I think a lot of us as females lash out, become jealous, become envious. Whereas I think now, 2023, I think more and more people are actually trying to celebrate their friends' wins, their strangers' wins in the office environment as well. Like, hey, I'm going to celebrate your wins rather than being jealous about this. So I absolutely agree. And the feelings and not having a word for it, kind of really good concept blew my mind there.
But Let's get deeper into actually what Compersion is, what the play is, what you guys are actually doing down in Australia to bring sex positivity to the forefront. I think that's just really important down in Australia in particular to continue to evolve as a country. Let's get cracking into that. So let's talk about Compersions. The play itself, the play dares to challenge societal norms and assumptions about relationships and love, encourages audiences to think critically about their beliefs and assumptions while promoting emotional, personal safety and honesty. Really interesting.
kind of byline about the play there. So the play is called Compersion. Where did the inspiration from the play actually come from? How did this get born, I guess? How did it get birthed into the world? I guess we're both actors. We've been in our industry for a long time. We have a lot of experience and tools and we watch, we see, we observe and all the way along we kept, even when we were ugly and we weren't kind to ourselves or each other at the end But once we recovered, go, oh, fuck this and make a great play, though.
And we also recognized that we were always reaching out and trying to find groups and people, but it was hard and there were clicks and I didn't expect there to be clicks. We didn't know. And and we felt outside, but we had this want and this desire to cross that bloody void. And so we just kept talking and we kept grabbing whatever we could from whoever we could. And those people were, you know, fantastic. And they helped us sort of hit hop, skip, jump forward in little bits. And those discussions actually did turn into a great play. And those experiences actually did turn into a great play.
And we wanted to be able to share earnestly, not a 50 Shades of Grey version of what this lifestyle is like, because no, this is not actually for the faint-hearted. You have to look at yourself. You have to do some work. You have to look at your partner. You have to be open. You have to learn all these new pathways in your mind, in your body, and it's not actually as easy as it sounds. And some of the experiences are not profound. They're actually traumatic and distressing. And at the same time, so is life. That is how we learn and grow and experience.
So we recognised that what we were experiencing, what we had come across and fought for as our entrance into the lifestyle might actually help other people. We also found that it was the nature of the community was very embracing. They were warm. And this is sort of speaks to my story. My storyline in the play is that there was no sexual shame in shaming your identity. You were allowed to sort of express yourself. And that was revolutionary. for me to experience that.
And I think there was, so there's part of, part of doing this is, yeah, telling the stories that we wish we heard when we were at that point in the journey. It's celebrating the people who are in the community, who are some of the most, you know, profound best friends I've ever made. It was about, well, it was her 20th wedding anniversary. I wanted to get on stage and say, I love you as well. You know, it's just a bit of sort of my own ego there too, but, you know, I didn't want to do a renewal of vows. that would have been completely pointless. So do what we do best.
It sounds really interesting, definitely. But if I was going to go along to it or people out there listening who are curious about this play that we keep talking about, what can a person expect? So, you know, is it a grandiose theatre are we walking into? What can we expect? What are we going to see on stage? What's the interaction going to be like? Just run us through the whole thing. This is what we call parlour play. And so it's a very intimate production. There's not big bells and whistles. You're not going to see huge musical numbers or special stage effect. or anything like that.
So it's more designed to be performed in lounge rooms, living rooms. It's essentially the story is therefore focused on us and our characters. So we basically invite the audience in. We welcome the audience to the venue at the night, take a seat. We try to make it a cross-performance conversation. These are anecdotes. We're reliving the anecdotes. They're dramatized versions of what really happened to us. Some of them have a moral to them. Some of them don't. They're just things that happen. I wouldn't even say a moral. I'd say things to consider. Yeah. Consider these things.
Consider your personal safety. Consider it more broadly than in the first straight up thought of it. When you think of consent, it's really easy to go, oh, yeah, I get that. I totally get that. I get consent. Yeah. But when you see it dramatized in front of you and you see an example of how it worked or it didn't work, then you get a bit more personal. Yeah. There's a bit of audience interaction.
So meeting everyone at the beginning when they all look in the door is brilliant because it gives me in particular a chance to case out my audience and decide who might be my best participants and play friends for the night. So we invite people up out of the audience to play characters that we're using and they're very sort of passive in that role but they kind of get that audience interaction plant experience. You don't usually go to a show and get to feel the lead role's pussy. You don't usually get a really good lap dance from them and lots of kisses.
Yes, the show has those graphic elements. You don't usually go to a show and watch someone finger fuck themselves in a replication of what they would do online for someone they fell in love with. But in that sense, these acts tell the story. They're a purpose to tell the story. They're not there just for the gritchat, which makes it different from burlesque or cabaret or they serve the purpose of telling that narrative and the meaning that happens to the characters. As I'm listening to you, I actually wrote down the word edutainment.
That's actually a phrase that I coined for our events over in the USA because we have seminars, we have interactive sessions and we don't call them education. We don't call it entertainment. It's kind of a mix between edutainment. From listening to what you're saying, yes, there's some things being performed on stage of a sexual nature, but what I'm also hearing is you're talking about consent, you're talking about sexual identity and that sort of stuff. So for me, I mean, is that what I can expect as an audience member? A bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
Yeah, I mean, that speaks to our history and our previous careers. We ran a dance and education company for 10 years where we did exactly that. We recreated children's literature into performances and we sort of edutained them that way. As an anthropologist, I work in ethno-drama, which is literally archiving, you know, taking the stories of people, their real-life stories, and then dramatising that for an audience so that they can understand the experience you know, the social diaspora or the minority group or whoever's being represented.
So that speaks to the kind of history in our previous careers or current careers, whatever, our other careers. But one of the unexpected, so I'm going to jump in on that because in this sense, that's an important aspect that there were people from every age, gender, sexuality. It was really a broad spectrum. People who'd been playing for 20 years, 50 years, people who've been playing never, people who were terrified. And one of the beautiful things about the show that was said back to us was that it gave them this sense that what it might be like to be in a real life play situation.
And there was the potential that they were still safe and they could watch, but they're not watching someone that they desperately loved. It was safe. It was safe.
Even if there was a little bit of touching and a little bit of fondling or kissing, it was still felt really safe and in that sense we're really aware of that I never expected that one of the outcomes would be that it would be a nice like an even softer introduction than a meet and greet if that makes any sense as you're doing the play I'm curious about the characters that are involved you've got the play happening there's sexual acts being performed maybe you know I don't know you're grasping with your own sexual identity I'm not sure do you have a running monologue like when you're actually performing the play is part of the It's like an internal monologue that's actually coming out about your own thoughts about things that are happening.
Does that happen? Like, run me through that. It's interesting that this is probably, for me, is probably the most personal and cathartic theatrical project I've ever worked on. Most theatre, as theatre makers, most of the time you're working with a script someone else has written. You go through a production company. There's multiple layers of decision-making. By the time you get to directing or performing, you're just fulfilling a role and a function. But this was really hand-to-mouth theatre. This was really a lot of work.
We sat down and we just wrote down the stories of what had happened to us over the past 18 months and two years, the ones that really meant. How did we get into this? And how we felt. And then we went through a process where we did that for ourselves and then we had to do the process as script writers and go, okay, we have to be disciplined now and go, what works dramatically? And then we did it again as directors and actors about what works on stage.
And there is a sense of the more I do it and the more I relive some of those stories that represent represent a past that's gone, the more it feels like I'm putting it behind me as well. I'm exorcising it. I'm getting it out of the system. It's funny telling a dramatised story that's really true and living it and performing it simultaneously. It's a weird personality but ultimately it's very cathartic, I think, for me.
One of my stories, I always like to put my guest on the hot seat and I'm actually going to put you guys on the hot seat a few times throughout our interview today but I want to break into this one because we've spoken about this in a monologue, Edutainment things like that. So, I mean, I live in the Netherlands. We have the red light district here. I mean, it's world famous. You've probably heard of it. What makes your play, considering it does have live sex act, what makes your play different from, say, a porn show that I could go down the road and see right now in Amsterdam?
Narrative and character. This isn't about the acts. The acts, like I said before, the acts aren't there gratuitously for visual stimulation. It's got all that in there, but the acts serve the purpose of telling the story. Any sex act, there's a vulnerable story. state of being regardless of your status as a porn star. Absolutely. You put yourself in that state of vulnerability. I think in terms of this show, though, I've seen porn acts that have just left me breathless and lost. And that is a state of mind.
But I haven't seen porn acts that have made me drive home and think about it all the way home in the car and talk about it and talk about it and think about it and think about it occasionally in those you know, nice kind of ways in that deep reflective way. And at the same time, I think those sex acts that are being performed in the show are a way of normalizing ourselves. You know, I'm not a porn star. I am 48 years old. I am perimenopausal. I am managing myself. I am just trying to live the very best life I can before I can't. And I would like for Mick to be doing that too before he can't.
because I do care that much and so does he. And so I think when it comes to the idea of being some sort of relating it to a porn act, there's not really a comparison except for the nudity in the act itself. Because sex is also different. There's different sex and different types of dynamics, whether you're feeling vulnerable or powerful or scared. Sometimes when I pick the male from the audience for the lap dance to be the photographer, I think, I pick because he pleases me. End of story. All right. And that's okay. I'm allowed to that night. And he is fun and he's the right choice.
And some nights there's the guy in the corner that doesn't even want to be picked, but he's the one that needs the gift. He gets the gift. And so that's compersion. That is the show. Right. It is not about pornography. It is about the gift. So realistically, I mean, if I think about walking into, say, one of those red light shows, I pay my money, I'm I see a show. It's kind of like going to the cinemas to see a movie, right? And I walk away and I went, oh, that's cool. All right, cool. Yeah, and now like, oh, shit, it's lunchtime.
What you're trying to say is that you want me as the audience member to walk away legitimately learning something, being inspired by something, having some form of emotional response. The goal of the objective of anyone who calls themselves an artist is to reach an audience with a sense of meaning and create a meaningful experience in that moment. And I think that's the difference. And let's face it, swinging had a, sorry, swinging, I'm jumping on that and go, yes, because let's face it, the whole lifestyle has a bad rap.
That swinging, the minute you mention it, we've lost and burnt so many people. Careful who you tell. Like, you know. Yeah, venues who won't book us, things like that. Venues wouldn't take us. We had no choice but to think outside the square because it was too taboo. But everyone that we spoke who loved us and was so proud of us was, oh my God, can I follow you? I just think you're wonderful. You're so bright, but we don't want to book you. You know, it's just on a side note from that in general, just on a side note from that, this is one of the other motivations for the show in a reality too.
Like I've been working as a creative director for international commercial art events for the last 10 or so years. I've been developing museum projects and festivals and all sorts of stuff. But the reality of that is even though it's awesome, It's a toxic work environment. It's unregulated. It's full of power, greed, ego. And I got in a situation where I got burnt. And so we literally went, well, instead of working for someone else, let's work for ourself. Let's take all the skills that we've got and do it for ourselves.
And in that sense, everyone we've dealt with in this lifestyle on a purely business relationship, and that includes you and the members of the club and the photographer that helped us, everyone has acted with a level of integrity that that I actually haven't had in my professional career for a long time. Or in our personal lives. Or in our personal lives either. There's this level of openness and transparency and communication and no shame and all of these things that I found absent. No shame, yeah.
And I think for me that's sort of partly why we kind of stumbled along across this thing out of need and desire and desperation and lots of other reasons. But then we kind of discovered it's got meaning for people and it means something to us. to share that back with them. And I think... And it's not easy. It is a journey. That gets back to that real essence of why you want to be an artist, really. You just want to communicate and share those things with people. So, yeah. Love it. So when you talk about the future of Compersion, what is the future?
Like, what are you actually hoping to achieve? Are you... I know that you've got three shows coming up in Adelaide in April. We'll talk about that later. Are you going to look at doing virtual sessions, you know, trying to reach more audience members? What does this look like for Compersion the Play? Or is there a Compersion too? Is there volume two coming soon? What's happening? Like I said, this is a parlour play. It's deliberately designed and created to be tourable. So it literally fits into a suitcase with a couple of costumes and us and a lounge room. We can do it anywhere.
It's not this big kind of stadium or massive theatre environment. It's very intimate. It's light. It's travellable. And again, that reflects the international touring and fringe work I've done in the past. One of the most rewarding parts of it also has been pre-show and post-show. Pre-show, we make sure we have venues that can facilitate everyone having their pre-show drinks and hanging out, getting to know each other. Yeah. Get to know each other. Hang out. There's not many of you. It's crazy. We're weird. We're all here. You know?
And we can get to know them, set up our pre-show stuff as well. At the end, though, there is so much sharing. We make sure that we stay and we stay make ourselves available and wow, you know, we don't have all the answers, but isn't it beautiful to be able to talk? And in that sense, that's where theatre has, it's the original virtual reality and it's with other people. So it really works best when it's with other people. Speaking of the next volume, because of the nature of who we are as people and artists, we create from our collected experiences.
So the more we go out and meet people, the more we go and hear, we've had audience members saying we're do a version like vagina monologues or something like that. The point is that there's so many people have got stories that are worth telling and here's an opportunity to try and find a vehicle or an avenue for those stories to be represented and told. And not everyone wants to be on stage. We get that, but we do. We're okay with it. So we'll do your story for you. I think also we recognise the limitation. I love Adelaide. I do.
You're Australian, so you're going to get all the Adelaide jokes. Yep. And, you know, they're funny because they're true. And I do love Adelaide. It's tiny. But, you know, the world is out there and it's not represented. Adelaide's not probably our best audience. Not that I don't love Adelaide for all it gives to us. You know, I'm happy, thankful. But at the same time, we recognise that we need to take it out, give it a spin. It's a good ride. It's worthwhile. The feedback's been enormous. Yeah. I'm so happy to help. We're so happy to help.
You guys are giving me like full on Priscilla Queen of the Desert vibes right now. Do you know what I mean? You get it, right? You can see what I'm going with. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Heading up to Darwin. You know what? You wouldn't be wrong. It's okay. I'm going to put you on the hot seat. Try not to burn your butt. Is this legal in Australia? So we know about LGBTQIA rights. We know about the prostitution rights and things of that nature in Australia. So I'm curious where you guys sit in this kind of gray area. Is this legal in Australia?
And how do you think the Australian public would react if it did go viral? Say you put a TikTok up or a Twitter up or an Instagram up and you're like, hey, come and watch our play about compulsion. It's 18 plus. You're going to see some erotic scenes. Like what are your two thoughts on that? Okay. First of all, I'm going to come straight out with you and say, we have kids. Our policy with them is that it's private, but it is not secret.
We are doing something and quite earnestly, you're such incredible young people that when the time comes when you find out I hope when we talk to you about this I hope you can see that we're doing a really fucking good thing we have nothing but good intent for each other for other people for you for everyone we just wish nothing but good things for people as far as being out so as far as being out they're the only people I'd really be concerned about they're the only people we care about in that sense and they and they Oh, there's a way to work.
I think in terms of the legalities of it, there have been shows throughout theatrical history that have done far more gratuitous acts of staging than we come close to. We don't sell, like I said, we don't sell this as a sort of pornographic act. It's a play that has moments in it that serve the purpose of the story. Certainly, these are roles that you would be hard-pressed to find an actor that you could hire. to do it. There are certain qualities that we can do because we are married to each other. I think we're fine with that. I don't have a problem with the legalities of it.
We're all good there. As far as the outing is concerned, we are private, but we're not secret. So we're not broadcasting it and shoving it in people's face. And that is in part because I think if you're naturally curious about what we're talking about, you will find us. And that is kind of a natural filter for the audience that we collect. We don't want to just put it out there for people who aren't ready for it and just shock value. It's there for people who are genuinely curious and are questioning their own identity and this is hopefully a place that they can.
And their own backgrounding, their own sexual selves, their own, you know, even the question, do I deserve this? God, that's a whole unpacking. Do I deserve this happiness? Yeah. For God's sake, of course you do. I don't know how we'd go just on that. I don't know how we'd go with legalities in other countries. That would be something we'd possibly have to investigate. We make the venue a secret until we book the ticket. You won't know we don't advertise the venue. We definitely don't advertise our names within all of that, although we're not happy to disclose our names when you meet us.
We make sure that it's very clear, that it's an R-rated or X-rated show, that there is pornographic acts in it. We have a discontent. Disclosure statement on your ticket that says you do realise that when you enter into this room, there will be all these things that can happen. Right, yeah. Are you still willing to accept the ticket? There is warning. So if you're, yeah, if you go through all of that. If you get to the show and you go, oh, my God, this wasn't what I was expecting then. Then I don't know what to do. How the hell did you get here?
Let's maybe, as we get ready to close out here, let's share some funny stories because I think you guys, this is a very unique thing, you know, i'm non-monogamous i see obviously a lot of acts in in swingers clubs at swingers conferences conventions events i run my own events you know so i see a lot but this is pretty unique you know to have people that come from a theater background that have made a play specifically surrounding non-monogamy that also includes you know some of those sexual acts so what i want to know is i want to know two things one thing is what's a funny story that within the play when something just hasn't gone to plan has there been a moment where you've broken your you know stubbed your toe and face first into her pussy.
Like, do you have one funny story? I've got to know. Something goes wrong. It has to. The thing I wasn't prepared for, I do this lap dance with this one guy. I worked so hard to give him every bit of rundown about what I can do, won't do, will do, what he's allowed to do, you know, and all the rest of it. And I do all these practice runs. But what I didn't do was tell him to keep his fucking knees up. Okay. I'm on his lap. And he slouched. And he put his legs straight down. And man, did I have thighs of thunder for days, right? It's hard work. It's hard work. And there's nothing to sit on.
But you still have to grind. And oh, my God. It's hard for an audience member. We try to prep the audience member as much as we can, like Nikki says, to prepare for what you need to do. But, you know, you're not expecting to be drawn up on stage and have the lead character do all that dance. Well, no, you won't. Put your hand between the legs. But I don't think he was expecting his cock to get hurt. So he put his legs down as you do when you start to go, oh, damn, that feels good. But the problem with that is I've got no traction and I'm like, oh, God. A lap dance on a slippery slide.
The last thing I thought about was that he might get aroused. Oh, fuck, you know, and what he might do if he was aroused. And so, yeah, like it was all when we went into the first run, it was all just, Hail Mary and let's see how we go. We didn't work with a director. No one, we didn't have an outside eye watching what we were doing at all. We just rehearsed in private. So the very first performance we did in front of an audience was the very first time anyone had ever seen it. And yeah, in a day of firsts, it was like lap dance on a slippery slide with a hard cock.
What's it like performing sexual acts in front of others outside of, say, a swingers club again? Again, I go to swingers clubs, you know, I go to the orgy rooms, I'm you know, I'm being an exhibitionist. I'm also a voyeur. I like to watch, but this is very different. You know, the difference between me having sex with one, two, three, four people in a swingers club and people watching, very, very different. So what's it like performing these, this play, this sex where there is elements of the sexual act in front of other people? Is this the ultimate exhibitionist kink for you guys?
Like what's up? Fuck yeah. Well, that's a psychological question for any actor. Yeah. The first time I did it, I never, like I've been in, theatre a long time. I was raised in a dance company. I don't get nervous. I get pumped. I don't, you know, I was shitting myself. I could hear my voice shaking. I didn't know who this woman was or how to control her. And what the fuck was wrong with it? I'm just doing a show. But inevitably, within the first 10 minutes of the show, I'm fingering myself for them.
And so, yeah, it's quite a leap as an actor and it was scary and not the same not the same at all i've been on the saint andrew's cross and had a crowd i've i've been in the middle of the giant bed with a heap of people around me and had a crowd no problem this was different this was different because it was me telling the truth about something that happened to me and something i did that i'm not entirely actually fucking proud of that's probably the big difference is that you're not doing it as an act because it's part of the story because the story is our story as part of that story and the drama communicate the vulnerability of who we were in that moment there's other parts of the performance that are happening in your brain and I think again getting back to that idea that this is probably one of the most personal projects that we've worked on and I haven't done theatre for a long time I've done mainly TV and film for the last 15 years so getting back on stage was a big thing anyway.
But I felt like I needed to do this because if I didn't expose myself in that vulnerable way, then I wasn't telling the story the way it needed to be told. And then we're going to ramp it up with the show in April. So we're doing two shows at one venue with a maximum audience of 50. And this is going to be new again. We're doing a special one-off performance with an audience of only 10. So it will be very, very intimate. Much more interactive. interacted with the audience. It will be much more a couple of mates sitting in the lounge room rather than a bit more formal space.
And so that will raise stakes. And we have to be much more responsive to their responses and give them more time, especially if we are going to interact with them more. But how that's going to go on the night, we've looked at each other a couple of times and gone, I don't know what we're doing. We're not really into dogging. That's not our thing. We're much more about connection and play and engagement. And yet we're inviting 10 strangers we've never met before and going, ah, fuck it, you know, which is something we wouldn't generally normally do.
But at the same time, like I said to you before, like when you're in this space, in this place, when you're performing, you have the microphone and they have to listen. And if that's the case, then I want to make it, we want to make it a gift. You know, it's a gifting. It's a shared experience. It's enlightening and it's a place where they can... It's compulsive. Yeah, where they can maybe compersion. Well, guys, it's been an absolute delight. And if you're out there listening and you are in Australia or heading down to Australia, the next three shows are coming up in Adelaide in April.
So April 17th, 18th and 19th. If you are interested in heading along to watch Compersion, the play by Steamy Romantics, head to the show notes and the website details are going to be there where you can check out what they're doing, the tickets. And if you're a venue, maybe if you want to book them for something, you can also do that on their website. But Mick and Nick, great to have you guys on the podcast. Thank you so much for joining us to talk about Compersion the Play. Thank you for talking about sexuality in Australia and everything that you're doing down there.
It's really been fantastic. Thank you so much. It's been an absolutely pleasure to chat with you. Totally. All right, guys, thanks for listening. I hope that you got something out of that from the crew at Steamy Romantics. Until next time, we'll catch you soon. you
