Ever heard of the Skirt Club? Global Sex Positive events for women who want to explore their sexuality in a safe environment. Today's episode focused on the Skirt Club and starts with an interview with the CEO and founder Genevieve, we talk about consent, global sex positive events, the stigma of running a sex positive business & more.
Genevieve gives her tips on some female led sex positive business's to support and drops a hint on something fun coming up in 2021.
The interview today is followed by some audio sent in from a podcast listener, Mrs RedNReady shares her personal experience visiting a Skirt Club event in NYC. We hope you enjoy this look into female sexuality.
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Featured in this episode
Genevieve LeJeune Founder and CEO of Skirt Club
Skirt Club Instagram & Twitter
Mrs RedNReady from Twitter
Mentioned in this episode
Dr Holly Richmond
Future of Sex Podcast
Polly Rodriguez owner of Unbound Babes Sex Toys
Swinging Lifestyle Events
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Join us in Miami for our Hotel Takeover
Head to Naughty In Nawlins with us and join the tribe
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Transcript
You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. G'day guys and welcome back to Swinging Down Under. This is episode 190. and today's episode is all about the Skirt Club. And in the first section of our episode today, I have an interview with Genevieve, who is the CEO and founder of the Skirt Club.
But excitingly as well, after I mentioned this on our Twitter account, we were contacted by Red and Ready, and they have sent us in, or specifically Mrs. Red and Ready has sent us in some audio of her experience actually visiting the Skirt Club parties. And so we're really excited to bring both of these elements to you. The idea and the mission behind the Skirt Club from Genevieve, the CEO and founder, and then also somebody who's actually been there and her experience being both somebody from the Swinging Lifestyle and somebody who went to the Skirt Club.
If you're wondering about the Skirt Club, it is global sex positive events for females only and females that are bi-curious or bisexual for them to have a chance to go and meet other like-minded women and explore their sexuality in a safe environment. Starting in London and now being global in nature for female run events that really do focus a lot on obviously female sexuality. Now we don't talk a lot about how Skirt Club was born, Genevieve's idea behind the Skirt Club, how long it's been running for, what are the members like.
We don't really talk a lot about that and the reason being guys is that Genevieve has been on a number of different podcasts talking about that exact topic. If you want to know more about those and listen to those other podcasts, definitely go check out the Skirt Club website. Of course it will be in the show notes and check out the press section because there is a a lot of links there and you can hear more from Genevieve about really why the Skirt Club was born.
We talk about consent, we talk about how to maneuver your brand globally and what that means to ensuring that you've got this same level of detail in your events. So we get into a little bit of that. So I'm going to hand right over now for my interview with Genevieve. Directly after that, I'm going to share that audio with you from Mrs. Red and Reddy from Twitter and then I'm going to come back. And so I hope you guys really enjoy this and I'll talk to you soon. Music Hi guys and welcome back.
I'm very excited to bring you this next interview as I am always with all of our sex positive interviews. This one in particular, I'm sitting on the line right now with Genevieve who is the CEO and founder of the Skirt Club. We're going to talk about what the Skirt Club is soon. It's basically a private members club for bi-curious and bisexual women. I know that you guys want to hear all about this. Welcome to the podcast Genevieve. Hello darling and thank you for having me on your show. I am privileged. How are you this morning? I am doing very well.
Now like many of the interviews that we do here on Swinging Down Under, Genevieve is currently sitting in a different time zone. Right now you're in Miami, but you're heading back to London soon, if I'm not wrong. And the reason is, is that Genevieve was born in England, raised in Hong Kong, lived in 16 countries. So tell us a little bit about what's happening right now in your life. You're heading back to London. How's things going for you? Yeah, so I guess I'm a permanent transplant because I've never really lived where I was born, but I am British.
I moved over to the US about five years ago now, and to be married to my now husband and settled here in Miami. And we've lived just recently for two years in New York. But with the pandemic, we have decided to move back to sunny Florida where the restrictions on COVID are pretty relaxed. They definitely are. Now, we're going to get all into the nitty gritty of Skirt Club. We're going to get all into the nitty gritty of female empowerment and female sexuality because I know that Genevieve is definitely an advocate for advancing women's confidence.
And that the whole ethos, I guess, behind Skirt Club. Before we talk about that, though, a little bit about you and a question I had for you. Do you think the fact that you had this expat lifestyle, this international kind of lifestyle, do you think in your formative years that helped you to be a little bit more open with choosing what you wanted out of life and making that decision to say, you know what, I don't want to go with the status quo. I don't want to go with the quote unquote norm of what society expects. I'm going to choose my destiny. It certainly did.
You know, I went to an international school. Everyone I met in my childhood was from a different background. Most of my early relationships were with boys, Chinese from Hong Kong. For me, everybody was one. And I definitely didn't see boundaries or barriers when it came to new cultures and learning about new countries. In fact, I embrace it. It's one of my greatest passions. I've learned many languages just to get deeper into somebody's mindset and to explore it really turns me on. See, I like the fact that you're learning languages.
I go the easier route, which is to learn about people's culture through consumption of food and preparation of food because that's easier. Not so much easier on my waistline, but definitely helps me to understand a little bit about people's cultures. But I like the fact that you've gone to the effort of learning people's languages. That's amazing. It's just intriguing. So when I went to university, I chose to do French, Italian, Spanish, purely so that I could live in all three countries and experiment quite literally with the locals on all aspects.
And it really, really helps you get into the mindset of why people behave the way they do. I guess it's the psychology of why and human behavior and that stuff really excites me. I like it. I really enjoy people that are actually passionate about what they do now. You might be sitting there listening to this and think that Genevieve has been operating in some form of sex positivity her whole life. And actually, I'm here to tell you that she did leave her corporate job in finance to explore this passion.
And so that's why when you're listening to Genevieve today, I'm sure you're going to be able to hear a lot of this coming through in what she's talking about. to you about where she is very passionate about this. So speaking of passions, I want to talk about Skirt Club. Now Skirt Club, if you haven't heard of it out there, dear listener, over 15,000 members globally launched in 2014.
So you might think this is quite a young organization, young business, but I can tell you right now, 15,000 members is amazing and a very achievement, huge achievement considering what you're trying to do in this space. You attended play parties in the past. I know you attended them with a previous boyfriend some sort of eight years ago. You didn't enjoy the way that that party was set up. You didn't enjoy the consent issues. You didn't enjoy the fact that it was about, it felt like it was about his pleasure, not about your own.
In a nutshell, maybe rather than me talking about what your mission is, I'll let you do it. What would you say is Skirt Club's mission? And has it changed from 2014 to now? You know, it hasn't changed. Neither has the brand. For me, it was very clear back in 2013 when I first came up with this idea of what it was I wanted to achieve. And I guess selfishly, it was It was really my own experience that sparked it, but who better to know, right, than somebody going through it themselves. I identified that I was bisexual, but I didn't know how about, I didn't have any idea about how to meet women.
Yeah, I went on to explore by attending parties myself, and I didn't like what I saw. I felt women didn't get a fair hand in how it played out. I felt that they were dominated by men and their own desires, and I felt that we were subservient overall in allowing men to dictate what it is that gave us pleasure. I also think women don't even ask themselves enough what it is that they love, what turns them on, what their true desires are. So I wanted to create a safe space where women could do that and confide in one another and feel safe. So I did. No, I love that.
And you're absolutely right that I think people in general don't actually sit down and give themselves the safe space to say, "What is it that I want out of life?" And I don't mean, "What house do I want next?" and "What career do I want to be in?" I mean, "Am I truly happy?" And that does need to include your sexuality. and your self-pleasure. Let's talk about it. So with the Skirt Club, please do go online and of course the links will be in the show notes today and have a look at the different kinds of events, the different setup.
I really want to start to talk about a few elements that really stood out to me as somebody who's been in the swinging lifestyle for many years and attends obviously many global parties. You have at the beginning of your parties, you've added this element of learning and entertainment to your events and this is not something we see quite often in a lot of swinging events. You know, you go to a party and it's a party. You've chosen to add that first step, that learning and that entertainment. Tell us about some of those topics.
What topics do you see as critical, necessary for all of your attendees to experience? Yeah, I guess that it is novel. I came at this from a very different angle though. My intention was not to create a sex party. It was to create a beautiful evening and a squizor evening for women to meet and network and get to know one another with a very sexy atmosphere. And there was possibility for play. So the intention and the premise really was to learn about yourself and to fall deeper in love with yourself with that knowledge.
And given that most of our audience, I would say by far the majority, are doing this for the very first time, they're very nervous. And there's a lot that they're looking to learn very quickly. So the more we can help them along their journey, the better. Often our topics are around discovering your bisexuality. They're also linked to the theme of the event. And we have 35 themes that we allow for each of our signature parties. And they're all delicious ideas, such as a shopper. which is our chocolate tasting event. There's a corset event. So there's a French fancy eat my cake event.
They all have a dress code and they all have a related speaker. But generally it's around empowerment, sexual empowerment and understanding your body better. So it helps women learn something, I guess, in theory and then in practice. No, that's fantastic. I love the fact that you theme your learning to your entertainment and to your actual theme of the event that That's really great. I'm a big fan of curated yet spontaneous fun is what I like to say, but that's great. I love it. I love it.
The reason that I want to kind of touch on some topics, as I said, that were kind of interesting to me was that you've done a lot of podcast interviews and please, guys, I would absolutely recommend to go and listen to some of the other episodes. And in fact, I might actually link them in the show notes where Genevieve has spoken in more detail about the Skirt Club and where the idea came from and how that launched. You know, there's a lot of and running through some of those events, Please do go and check those out.
I'm coming at this from an angle where I really want to get into some nitty gritty with you. So what I want to talk about is consent. And consent in the lifestyle, swinging lifestyle and swinging lifestyle events in particular can be a very difficult thing to manoeuvre, particularly if you are new in the lifestyle. But what I've personally seen is that it's not men who are the usual suspects breaking consent rules. It's actually women. More often than not, when I go to lifestyle events, women will grab my boobs, will come in for a kiss without really having a consent discussion with me.
And that's something that we have spoken about in the past on our podcast. So tell me about consent at your events, at Skirt Club events. How do you manage consent? And more particularly, what can the swinging lifestyle learn from Skirt Club on how to manage that consent a little bit more? So to your point, we actually assumed that because we were all women and that there were no men, we wouldn't have this issue of consent. Because women naturally, they ask or they engage, they talk, they have conversation, they They feel their way and they read your face.
So we didn't think we'd need to do this, but two years in, it became apparent that we needed to make the rules very clear, especially as we started to expand globally and we were dealing with people from different cultures who had different ideas and belief systems about what was okay and not okay. In the US, of course, consent is a major thing. And I learned a lot from my New York colleagues on this topic. They helped me develop a whole consent program. We... We put in place safety angels. So some of the team, and we normally have a team of 15 hostesses.
Their role is to make everyone comfortable and they're available for chats. And really it's an introductory service to help people make friends quickly. But two of them would don the angel wings and they would walk around and be the safety angel. And everyone knew that if they had a problem or there was something delicate, they wanted to discuss, they could go straight to a safety angel and they could sit in the corner and talk for as long as they wanted.
But in addition to that, you know, when we send out our tickets and information for the evening, there is a whole prose on what is consent and what's not okay. And we have to say it so that they know, right? You have to assume that somebody knows nothing. That's the safest place to start. And I mentioned it in my speech at the beginning of the evening as well, when I introduced myself and I talk about the evening and how Scott Club began, and then I'll go on to safety and consent. Sometimes they just don't know where the line is. So you make it clear that you have to ask. Don't assume.
It's for everyone's pleasure. Yes, just yes. Yes to it all. No, that's great. Thank you. Thank you for running through that. And I'm glad you mentioned the international element there because that does come into play actually. And we've seen that around the world ourselves. You know, we go from Australia to perhaps the US and then you go over to European cultures. There is a vast difference in the way that people approach sexuality in that consent bracket as well. I remember we were in a club in Spain once and I don't speak Spanish, I'm like yourself.
And a person walked up and didn't have a conversation with them because they didn't speak English and they were just all over me. And I remember at the time thinking, gosh, we haven't even had a conversation yet, you know. You're not a piece of meat, right? No, but that was that. But you're being mauled like one. Yes, exactly. But that was the way that those clubs were operating very differently to what I'd previously experienced. So it was interesting. Speaking of global events and you made a global transition.
So of course you started the skirt club and then you started moving around the world to to create other events globally in various countries and various cities. I know that I'm a stickler for a bit OCD for wanting to make sure that things remain equality as to what I want them to look like. And even down to that consent discussion you just mentioned that you hold. I've been to parties around the world. I went to a Killing Kittens party, for example, in Sydney. They started in the UK and they had expanded globally. And it was a disaster, to be quite frank.
And I thought at the time, my gosh, how does that and that brand, make sure that those ambassadors, those people hosting those global events are really remaining down to the core of what your ethics and your quality are. So my question is, how do you control that?
You know, when you start looking to go global, when you start creating these events in other countries, how do you make sure that those people are doing what they should be and really making sure that those consent discussions are being followed, that the quality is still there and that you know that your skirt club members are going to get the same quality experience that they would get in Miami or in London or all the way down to, say, Brisbane in Australia? It's not easy.
But as you say, being a stickler for detail is probably a good basis for ensuring that your brand maintains the reputation that it deserves. Skirt Club is my baby. You know, I created the whole thing and the money used to create this company was my own. So I'm particularly close and protective of this brand. The women who come forward to host our events in international cities are always members first. They've always been to a party. in another country and they want to bring it home with them. For example, in Australia, our Australia director is Miss Fox. She's based in Melbourne.
She came to Melbourne events where I met her. I happened to be there for the launch party. I mean, I arranged to be there. Let's face it. It didn't happen to be there. I actively participated in the 24-hour flight transfer down to... Yeah. And brought with me all my friends and family. Convinced them all to take a holiday in Australia that year. But, uh, but it was a great launch party. I met her there. She came to the next event and then she said, I really want to work with you. Can I come visit you in New York?
And then she went, she just, she made a whole global trip around the world based on our event schedule. So she went to London, she went to Berlin and she saw with her own eyes how it was executed across different cultures and countries. And then she took it back to Melbourne and created it with her own flavor, but you know, to the standards that we expect. And it's a success for that reason. You know, she did her research. She did the work and I really appreciate that of her and she hosts our events in Sydney as well, right?
So it's that kind of dedication that we need in order to do this safely and responsibly and something that doesn't get past me is the huge responsibility on my shoulders to deliver us what could be and probably is someone's first time experience sexually with another woman that will stick with them for life and I could make or break their decision to try that again and I I host a brand training for any new recruit who comes to join our team and it's two hours long. It's a whole breakdown of what the brand represents and then how they need to communicate themselves.
And I have been criticized for being a little too controlling at times, but I want the right results and I don't see how else you get it. So maybe I'm a little tough at the start, but once I think you've earned your stripes, you have the freedom to explore and be creative as you wish. And I think those make the best relationships. I think Australia is a really great, really great membership for us. And we're excited for our future there.
Well, I'm always excited when brands and sexuality come down to Australia because it makes me go like, thank God, like well done Australia, because we, you know, we do see a lot of these global events happening. And, you know, back when we first started even our swingers journey, I remember seeing and hearing about these big global swingers conventions and, you you know, swingers resorts and here we are sitting down in Australia and there's crickets. We're like, great. Like when, you know, when do we get a chance?
And so that's, whenever anyone goes into Australia, I'm like, thank you for remembering we're down here. We really appreciate it. We want our sexuality to be explored too. So I like that. Thank you. My pleasure. You play some games. You play games at the skirt club and I think this is kind of part of what you mentioned before, you know, it could be someone's first time. It could also be the people a little bit nervous and so you need to kind of break those eyes.
What has been your most today your most successful or requested games that you're playing at Skirt Club to kind of get those people mingling? Yes, the games, I mean, secretly they're icebreakers, right? Yeah, but just don't tell anybody. I think it's all appreciated. The two that we invented at the very start that have been all favourites and are high in demand and often get written up about in press articles, the first one is Body Tequila, which I guess you can imagine... It's called body shots over here in the US, right?
But we asked for a volunteer to lay down in her lingerie on a table and two volunteers to lie out, well, stand out side by side, line her body with salt. I place a wedge of lime in her mouth and then they race, licking the salt up her body, not missing a bit, and shoot the tequila, which is in my hand, and kiss the lime from her mouth. Whoever gets the lime is the winner. And then, of course, she's on the table. So this is a very popular game. It's an excuse to take your clothes off. And often they don't go back on. So that's always a winner. Yes, for sure. Another favorite, spin the bottle.
I mean, we all know how that works. It's like going back to college times, but you don't need to explain the rules, that's for sure. And then we've played card games. We've done matching games. We've tried other games, which can be, you know, they have more rules, it can be a little more complicated. So they don't always stick as well. But yeah, body tequila all the way.
Yeah, it is funny because when you say spin the bottle, it probably, and this is probably the right a lot of our listeners are getting right now is that you kind of go like, it's like a little bit of a laugh, like a cheeky little laugh, like spin the bottle. So, you know, could you almost get like this nervousness about it?
But I think that in itself, creating that cheeky little laugh, creating that memory, creating that area where it is a little bit of just silly fun, I think also brings people together quite easily too, because then it's not so forward, it's not so strict or it's not, you know, you're not taking yourself too seriously. So something as simple as a cheeky little game of spin the bottle, I think, can really start to drop people's barriers and they have a bit of a laugh and talk to the person next to them and say, like, you know, when was the last time you played this? And I like it.
It can create some camaraderie. In a sense, huh? All right. Now, before we get off Skirt Club, I want to take a moment to talk about female and empowerment soon and sexuality. So your events are specifically targeted to bi-curious women and bisexual women, but not necessarily to... to lesbians. Now, I just was curious, you know, there was obviously a very specific reason that you did that, and I was interested as to your why. Why aren't you specifically trying to target lesbians or lesbian couples even to come to Skirt Club?
So the problem I'm trying to solve with Skirt Club is a nervous, bicurious woman discovering for the first time what it's like, which was my problem that I was trying to solve at the time. Now, lesbians by default have a lot more experience. You know, they've only dated women, and they're a lot more in tune with... having a relationship with a woman and how that looks. So naturally they're not as nervous. We do have lesbians at Skirt Club as part of our membership, but we don't market to them. I think really because this is not a place where you really come to find your one true love.
You know, it's not a place where you're looking to build a relationship. It's more of experimentation. So where we have had lesbians attend, they have remarked to me that this was just all a little bit too frivolous. And I think as a result, they thought they don't take it very seriously. It's also a very different market. And I know, look, LGBT, there's a B and there's an L and they're different. And don't think the two overlap. Like they are very, they think differently, they behave differently and they want different things. Yes.
And it is interesting because when you said before, you know, it might be the first time someone's kissed a girl. And I honestly, many times remark on the podcast about my own exploration into my sexuality and just how nervous I was the first time that I was with a woman. And I understand that the mentality of if she'd have been much more experienced than I, I think it would have made me even more nervous. So the woman that I was with the first time was also not very experienced.
And so I think the two of us kind of together were like, okay, we're not experienced, we're going to give this a go. I think you're right that if I'd have been with perhaps a lady who had been with many other ladies before and, you know, just that was her sexuality, I probably, although I would have probably appreciated some hints and tips because I didn't really know what I was doing, I think I probably would have had a little bit more nerves actually if I was with somebody, you know, for my first time. Yeah.
To your point, you could argue, well, don't you need an experienced person to lead us? Well, I actually think it's more fun to fumble around and figure it out together at your own pace. So two schools of thought, but I think it's better that the bisexuals and the bicurious come together and explore as well. Awesome. I thank you for talking about the skirt club. I really appreciate all of that information. I know you're also very passionate about female empowerment and obviously clearly about female sexuality in general. So I want to take a moment to talk about that.
Now, you obviously are in a sex positive business and I know from reading some articles that you had a bank previously remove your business account, which was containing a couple of 10, 20,000 pounds or so. You've had visa issues and more just because you own a sex positive brand. So for this section, I really want to talk about what is sex positivity? What does it look like in 2021 and beyond and how we can all work together. So my first question is what brands, events, or female entrepreneurs would you recommend that we all follow and engage with?
What people out there do I need to make sure are in the show notes today so our listeners can go and follow and support them? I do have my favorites and of course these are women I know personally as well, having spent a few years in New York. My personal favorites would be Brownie Cole, who's actually from Melbourne, Australia. So she's one of your lot. She runs a pod The Future of Sex based out of New York. She battles cancer to come up with the idea that this is something that she felt she deserved at a young age without the stigma and the way it felt to enter a sex shop.
She wanted to bring that online and give women a shame-free experience of buying toys and enjoying them. And then all the therapists that I've met, actually, a lot of the therapists come to talk at Skirt Club. Doctors, sex doctors, if you like, who deal with couples and singles. in helping them confront any sort of shame they've experienced or trauma they've experienced in a young age. So one of my favourites in particular would be Dr Holly Richmond who's based out in Jersey, New York. Dr Holly Richmond, I've got it.
I've got all of those for the show notes and I will absolutely be adding them in for you. So thank you so much. I really appreciate that and it's great to be able to lead people in a direction where you yourself believe these women to be doing some fantastic work and especially when it is around the sex positivity and I I like your explanation of the Future of Sex podcast as well, and I absolutely agree with exactly what you're saying about the approach. So that's fantastic. Thank you.
Okay, so I mentioned before that my first time was a little bit nerve-wracking, and, of course, you do want to empower people to express themselves, and it's confronting. Do you have any tips on how we can learn, maybe even how we can calm the nerves a little bit, how women could be in the moment just from your experience of running these events and traveling all over the world and even your own personal experience, what would you say to people out there who want to explore, aren't really sure? I think talking is the best therapy.
Sharing how you feel with a friend that you can trust or maybe someone you meet on a network that's sex positive, who's in the same boat as you. Being able to discuss what you have done, what you haven't done, what you'd like to do, exchange notes. You'll start to realize that you're not alone. Almost everybody feels the same. Everybody feels nervous. And once you realize you're just one of many, it's reassuring, I think. I think the nervousness comes from inadequacy or feeling that there's something out there you don't know that everyone else does. Not true.
You know, you'll come to one of our events. Try not to drink too much champagne at the start. That really helps. That's a really good tip. Good tip. I know it's free-flowing, but you don't need to drink six. Like, two is enough. But just start chatting to women and listening to their stories and share, you know. Start talking and you'll find common ground very quickly. And that always soothes all the women's nerves and helps them to really sort of relax and get to know one another. I like that. Remembering that everybody else is at the same starting point as you. Yeah, I think you're right.
There is a lot of fear in the unknown because that's certainly what ran through my head on my first time was I'm doing it wrong. She probably knows how to do it. I'm not going to be able to pleasure her. And I think too, there's this inherent thing that's built into us about we have to get to the end game. If I can't pleasure this, person. If I can't make them orgasm, then I'm not doing my job properly. And I think that that's a lot of the stuff that runs through our minds as opposed to going, that could also be their first time.
They're just wanting to experience the feel of a lady's skin, the delicacy of a lady's lips and that sensual essence of a woman and smelling her perfume and just pressing up against her body. And that could just be the most delightful thing for somebody.
And yet in our minds, I think we almost get to this point where we've got to get to the end game unless it's it or if we don't it's a failure and I think stepping back a little bit can help us to go hold on a second that's not the end game you know there's all of these other delightful things that we can enjoy yeah an orgasm isn't the goal it really is not and for me actually the experience of being with a woman and our two bodies close to one another is more enjoyable and I do I do love the scent of pheromones and drives me wild but yeah I do think that orgasm has been promoted too strongly as sex as as the only thing that sex is for and really sex is everything else.
Kissing can be more enjoyable than actual sex. You know, it's the touch, the smell, the conversation, the engagement, everything about her. So enjoy it. Just take pleasure in the journey. Don't rush it. That's true. Yeah, it's only going to be your first, it's going to be your first time only once. So you're all right. Yeah, enjoy a little bit. I like it. We do have male listeners, of course. This is not a female-only podcast.
I think some 60% of our audience are Now tell me out there for the men that are listening and maybe they have a spouse, maybe they're about to have a spouse and they want to know how they can support their partner in this sexual journey. This is particularly pertinent for couples that are entering the swinging lifestyle. Oftentimes the female might want to experience with another lady. And so how, how can those men ask the right questions, support their spouse? I know that you have a husband, you got married after you created the skirt club.
So obviously you two had some conversation, but how, how would the, male listeners support their partners, what gold star piece of advice would you suggest? How can they talk? What questions can they ask? I actually think the most important thing a man can do is listen and give her the chance to talk. Women don't express themselves enough and you're not going to get to the really deep stuff without letting her talk for a while. She's not going to share that up front. So the more patience you have, the better. And I would put some time aside and even take her for coffee or whatever it is.
If you want more privacy at home, then invite her for a coffee in the kitchen out of a shot from the kids or whoever's around and then just ask her outright what is it you want? What is it you envisage? Where do you see this going?
Tell me what it is that you would like and just leave it open and let her talk and she'll tell you and then work together on helping each other get the best possible relationship but you need that trust and honesty first and if you don't listen you won't find out so you know, women, we harbor and we hold back what we really, really truly desire to keep other people happy. It's such a shame because then we never truly are ourselves. And I think the best partner for me would be him, the guy that helps support me get to where I want to be. And in return, you'll have the same. Exactly.
So men, listen up. If you are interested in how you can help your partner explore her sexuality, there it is from Genevieve. It is to create a safe space, a safe and open space and to sit back and to listen. And, you know, do report back on if you have these conversations at home over coffee and I would like to know the details whether or not you open up some new exploration and that could just be something as simple as new self-love masturbation or a toy in the bedroom. You don't know, it doesn't need to necessarily go down the pathway of, you know, bisexual.
Genevieve, we've spoken about Skirt Club, we've spoken about female empowerment. I want to talk a little bit about you. I always like to finish on a personal note with our attendees that come on the podcast here get to know you a little bit more. I briefly just mentioned that Skirt Club was born before your relationship. And so I'm curious, when did you have this discussion with your now husband? You know, was he involved in some sort of sex positive events or the lifestyle prior to and thus was more accepting? How did you guys navigate this yourselves? Right.
Well, I met my husband 20 years ago. I used to work with him. We were both in banking at the time. He's still in banking and Still on the dark side then? Yes. He is certainly not in the lifestyle, nor wants to be. No, we've never had an open relationship. We are not destined for polyamory. We are quite monogamous to a point. The conversation, hmm, I think he's just known me for so long. I mean, the night I came up with the idea, I was actually with him at his place and his girlfriend at the time, who was my ex-girlfriend, but that's another story. And... Yeah.
In my terms, he stole her from me, right? So that's how I see it. Okay, sidebar really just quickly. Do you ever joke about that? Have a few champagne glasses and sit there and have a little bit of a joking moment of like, well, you stole her from me. No, I didn't. She was already coming to me. Well, hold on a second. He doesn't even deny it. He just puts his hands up and says, well, you know, she knew what's on her bed was buttered, right? So he obviously claims that he was the better choice. Oh, that's funny. And they were together for quite some years, so I guess. he did win out there.
No, we were together and I said, "I'm going to do this." And I pretty much had an epiphany. I woke up one morning, I'm like, "It's called Skirt Club. I'm going to change my name to Genevieve." Because it's not my real name, by the way. And it's going to be an international club where women can explore one another with no shame and there are no men invited. And I'm absolutely adamant about the no men invited. And my husband's response was, "It'll never work because men pay and women don't." Yep. Okay. And that got me very angry. I bet it did. I bet it did.
For many reasons women don't pay, often because they don't earn the same money as men. So right from the get-go, there's inequality in his statement. So unfortunately for him, I then made that my life mission to prove him wrong. And of course, he married me two years later and now he supports my business. So the tables turned. Now when you're having those champagne, couple of champagnes and you're joking about the fact that he stole your ex-girlfriend and then you're retort to that. well, look at my successful business that you said wouldn't work. I mean, and then just mic drop and walk away.
Totally. I love it every time. Oh, that's brilliant. That's fantastic. Actually, so another question I have about you, and a lot of our listeners are aware of the Kinsey scale, and I'm always curious, where on the Kinsey scale do you believe you fit? And has that changed over the years as you've been operating Skirt Club? So, yes.
I always think that Kinsey scale is one of those very fluid – scales where you can move up or down it depending on the point in your life and it really isn't something that you set in stone it's a great way to express yourself and when we ask when a member signs up for the first time she she puts her Kinsey scale down and I actually did a survey about two years later to see if anyone felt the Kinsey scale had moved from that point when they applied and I think 30% said yes they'd gone further down the scale so no more into women now as a result of of coming to skirt club and And that's obviously just experience and getting to know themselves and their body, which I think is an achievement.
But yeah, look, it was developed by Alfred Kinsey, who was a doctor in the 60s. There's even a movie out about it called Kinsey. But it's really not the best scale. There are a lot more nuances than six levels. And to explain, zero is straight and six is gay. So everything in between is bisexual, right? Three being the 50s. 50 ultimate bisexual. And I would probably put myself at a two or a three. I've definitely been a four at one point. So, you know, it's shifts, but I also grow, you know, I'm, this has been a 20 year experience for me and I'm changing all the time. Circumstances changed.
People who influence me change. So even the world is more accepting today. Like I think it's much easier to be a bisexual in this era and this feminist era where women are congratulated for expressing themselves, sex, than say 10 years ago when I was first looking into this and scared the hell out of me. It was so taboo and I wouldn't dare express myself to my friends or family but now celebrate it, right? So life changes and so do we as humans.
I love the fact that you're talking about the sliding scale depending on what part of your life you're in and you can move around on the scale forwards backwards because I find equally I move around on that scale depending on a woman that I'm engaging with. You know, sometimes I just find a female out there who might, you know, I feel very comfortable with, might bring out the best in me. And I think that I actually even slide on that scale, depending on the other individual as well, you know, and my relationship with that ladies. What are you excited about for 2021?
Do you have anything personal on the radar that you're excited about? Any maybe hints that you can share with the listeners, little exciting tidbits coming up for yourself or for Skirt Club next year? There is something very exciting coming up. I have signed an NDA. I'm not really allowed to talk about it but I'm in the midst of writing a memoir and there is definitely some interest there in developing it further to the screen. That's exciting. Watch this space. You heard it here first. Very exciting stuff.
I always like it when people are like I've signed an NDA because then you know it's good. You know that that news is juicy. It certainly is and I'm really excited. The people I'm working with are pros and they love the story of Skirt Club. It is unique. There's nothing like it. They say it takes a brave woman. So I'm thrilled to be that person. Oh, that's beautiful. And you know what? That's a beautiful way to end the podcast today. And if you're out there listening, you want to know more about Genevieve, her story and Skirt Club, please go to skirtclub.co.uk.
Of course, check out their Instagram and their Twitter. That's all going to be in the show notes today, as well as those empowering female brands that we mentioned earlier in the show. They're also going to be in the show notes. Genevieve, thank you so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to come on the show. I know especially because you're about to head to London. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate your candor, your honesty, your transparency about everything to do with your business model. Really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
It's my absolute pleasure and I can't thank you enough for your service to the community as well. Thanks for supporting women and giving them spaces to express themselves safely. It's lovely to watch you two blossom. Thank you so much. All right, guys. So we're going to head out now and we will be back for for another segment soon all about sexual empowerment. Thank you so much for listening to Swinging Town Under. We'll get back to you soon. Hi, I am Mrs. Redden Ready. At least that's how I'm known on the lifestyle Twitter account that I share with my husband, Mr. Redden Ready.
Kate asked us to talk a little bit or for me to talk a little bit about my experiences with skirt club parties. I attended two of them in New York City. And at the time that I attended attended my first party a couple of years ago, we were definitely newbies in the lifestyle. Hadn't had a lot of experiences. We had been to Desire, but I didn't have a lot of girl-on-girl experience for sure. I knew that I was bisexual. I'd known for a long time. I'm in my mid-40s now, and I guess I've accepted it since my early 20s.
But I was already with my husband and figured we were in a very happy monogamous marriage, and that was just something that I wouldn't get the chance to experience, although he knew about it. We just kind of ignored it. And the lifestyle, when that came about a few years ago for us, that definitely gave me an outlet for it. It's probably the biggest draw to the lifestyle for us. But at the time that I went to my first Girt Club party, my girl-on-girl experiences had definitely not been great. And it had nothing to do with the women I was with.
It was just a little bit of awkwardness and fumbling, because I was new to being with women, of course. I was also hyper aware of the men in the room. It made me feel a little bit awkward, like we were being watched. I was worried about whether or not they were feeling left out. I was worried if they were feeling left out, well, then we need to at least make sure that this is worth a while, that they get a good show. I was definitely not focused on the woman that I was supposed to be enjoying at the time. So somebody told us about Skirt Club, started looking into it. Mr.
Red and Reddy really started looking into it for me because that's kind of what he does. He kind of runs with things while I feel nervous about them. But he started sending me articles. I read a Rolling Stone article and a whole bunch of others. And it definitely sounded like something I was interested in, something that I wanted to do for sure. So we planned a trip. We go to New York City pretty frequently anyway. So we planned a trip to New York that would coincide with a skirt club party. And there are themes, which I love because I love to dress up.
So we invest in the trip and a hotel and beautiful, way too expensive lingerie that he surprised me with. My outfit for the night, we were all set and I was so nervous. I really wanted to come up with any excuse to not go. I was terrified because I've really only ever done this kind of thing, anything lifestyle, of course, with my husband at my side. And the thought of going out into New York City all by myself into this penthouse, knowing no one. And I was just petrified. I couldn't even eat all day.
But I After everything we had invested in, everything I'd done to get ready for it and psych myself up for it, and I'd looked forward to it for so long, I was not going to bail. So I got in the Uber and headed over that way. Really, as soon as I got there, my nerves were put at ease. I walked into that amazing penthouse in New York City and was instantly greeted. They put a glass of champagne in my hand. They asked me how I was feeling. They put the key on the wrist as a first-timer. They checked in. my coat and my bag and took me around and started introducing me to everyone.
I met the woman whose penthouse it was. Clearly, this was her home. I even had worries about walking into some trick that it wasn't even a skirt club party. I was just terrified to walk into a stranger's home by myself in New York City, but I got to know her and I instantly felt at ease. So after the performances were done, did burlesque performances and someone read some of her writings and that was all...
really enjoyable and fun and I chatted with a lot of women and I started to feel super comfortable and enjoy myself so I decided to put my phone up in my bag sent my husband a text that just said hey I'm having a great time I feel really comfortable I'm gonna put my phone in my checked bag and you won't hear from me for a while it was probably at 10 o'clock at night and then he didn't hear from me again until two o'clock in the morning which is when I knew the party was gonna be over I know he just sat in the hotel room for four hours watching football wondering what was going on and that had to be torture for him, but he was incredibly supportive and sweet to allow that for me.
And in that four hours, I just had an amazing time. There was a little bit of an awkward moment as people started to go off into the rooms and play started. And I got really shy. I certainly saw some people that I would have loved to have joined, but didn't know how to approach them. I kind of walked from room to room, from girl pile to girl pile, just watching a little bit. just kind of taking things in and not really knowing what to do with myself or how to approach anyone.
But after just a little bit of that, a few of us who all kind of picked up on the fact that there were several of us feeling lost, wandering around, kind of got together into a little group and all started chatting. And somebody came over to us and just started to say, look, if you want to join someone, just ask. There's no harm in asking. If you want to do something with someone, just walk up and ask. This is really a friendly zone. So one of these beautiful women who was also brand new and a little lost there asked me if she could kiss me and which I was more than happy to let her do.
She was stunning and things quickly progressed from there. That was all it took. Next thing I knew, we'd found a little corner of real estate on one of the beds. Kissing started, the touching started, the clothes started coming off. I found in that moment what it really felt like to be a bisexual woman able to be with another woman without a single male in the room watching. And it was a completely different experience than anything I'd had before. The two of us were just 100% focused in on each other. We were totally connected. I was so focused on her sounds, her movement, her pleasure.
And she was the same with me. And it was just incredible. It was like there was nobody else in the room. There were plenty of other people in the room. There were plenty of people right there on the bed with us. And even a little bit of intertouching between between. It really was kind of a girl pile. But nevertheless, anyone you were touching, you were just all in with them. There was no part of that that was a show for anybody else. Nobody cared what they looked like while they were enjoying themselves. They were just in the moment and it felt amazing.
My favorite, absolute favorite part was I made this woman come and she came so hard and that was the biggest thrill for me. I'd obviously never done that before and I realized I really, really loved making women come. So I enjoyed when she made me come as well. Obviously, we finished up, people started to kind of peel off and head home, not until around two o'clock in the morning, like I said, so I get back to the hotel, I'd forgotten my key, I knock on the door. And my husband opens the door to let me in. And I didn't even say hello to him, not a word.
I just said, I made a woman come and I fucking loved it. And he just about fell over. I mean, he He said, "Oh my God, I got to sit down." He kind of stumbled his way to the couch. He sat down. He asked me to just please stop, back up, back way up, start from the beginning, tell him everything and don't leave out a single detail. And I did. And his face was like a kid in a candy store or like a kid on Christmas morning. He was so excited to hear my stories. And I told him that I just had a lot of realizations from that experience.
I told him that it felt so different for me to be with a woman when there wasn't a man in the room. than it was when there was a man in the room. I told him, I'm still okay with you being in the room when I'm with women. I still want to be with couples and foursomes, but it's never again going to be a show for the men.
From now on, I knew if we were going to play, certainly if there was going to be any girl on girl play, it had to be with someone who was also a bisexual, or at least bi-curious, and I mean really bi-curious to the point that I knew she would enjoy it and that she would be into it and into me. And if that wasn't there, if it was just a show to put on for the husbands, it was not something I was interested in. And it was something that would make me feel awkward. And I, so it really did change who we want to play with.
It changed how I play because I told him from now on, honey, when I'm with a woman, I'm going to be with her and I'm not going to be worried about how it looks to you guys. I'm not going to be worried about what her husband's thinking about me. I am just going to focus on her. And I think that for him, to be able to watch that, to be able to watch two women who are really into each other, who are actually getting pleasure, who are not faking anything, that that would be a lot more fun to watch than something that was fake and something that wasn't real. And he totally agreed with that.
So ever since then, yeah, playing with women has just been a much more enjoyable experience for me. And I think I've gotten pretty good at getting the other woman that we're with when we're with couples to also kind of shut everything out and just live in that moment with me and not worried about what any of the men in the room think, which is really nice. I did go to another skirt club party after that. The next year, this time I took a friend. We went to New York City with another lifestyle couple that we'd met at Desire and I brought my friend with me and we had a fantastic time.
That was even better, honestly, because we were so confident and we were so secure and there was a moment of hesitation like there was the first time. I was just right up in the middle of everything and having a blast and just have gained a ton of confidence sexually as a result of it. And it definitely showed in the difference between my first skirt club experience and my second skirt club experience.
So I would definitely say if you're in the lifestyle and you are a bisexual woman and you want to see and explore what it's like to be able to be alone with a woman and not have to be worried about your husband or worried about how you look to the other husband just get the chance to explore with women by yourself, by all means, everyone should attend a skirt club. So I want to thank Kate for letting me tell my story. It went along a little long. You can cut this up as much as you need to, Kate.
But if anybody out there has questions about what the experience was like, we are red and ready 2086 on Twitter. Our account is locked, but you can send us a private message or send a follow request and we'll be happy to respond to you. So thanks, Kate. Bye. So thanks again for listening to that, guys. I really hope that you enjoyed this episode and that interesting perspective of female sexuality. What this could be about is just even taking the time to think about what you want in your own bedroom. Think about how you are self-pleasing.
Think about some of the toys that you might want or if you've got any stigma or trauma related to your own sexuality. You know, it's a really good reminder to us all, anyone out there listening, that it's good to sit back and actually think about these things. Before we wrap up, however, I also just want to really thank all of our patron- members. You guys are fantastic. I've been really enjoying putting up some new content.
Recently, I did a kind of a vlog, a day in the life of blog, where I talked a little bit about some of the content creation that we've got going on, as well as some shitstorm things that have been happening to us lately. We do have some new members that I really want to thank. So thank you to David, Milo, Nemo and Cece, Dennis and Escape DC. You guys are fantastic. We really appreciate every single one of our patrons. It truly means a lot. So thank you so much for supporting us.
And if you guys would like to do the same, head to patreon.com forward slash swinging down under and you can support us and get full backstage access for five bucks a month so about the price of a coffee we'd really appreciate it it means a lot to us we will be back soon with some bonus episodes and some more content from us with daryl here as my sidekick otherwise guys i hope that you are healthy and happy and we will talk to you soon bye if you're looking for more ways to interact with swinging down under you can catch us on twitter at swing down under you can also catch us on instagram swinging down under or head over to our web SwingingDownUnder.com.
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