Rejection and Swinging in Asia – P36

Transcript

This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. Well, we're actually getting some stuff in the bank here at the moment. It's crazy. Shame it's not money. Yeah, I know. Money would be a lot better than podcasts. So if anybody's got any money that they want to ship our way, just send me a private message. I'll happily give you a bank account as long as you're not going to fleece us.

I've always dreamed actually finding some treasure like a proper treasure dress really some booty yeah not even joking you mean booty or booty no proper like you know that's why the goonies were such a popular movie come on wow i mean that's a throwback it was awesome okay let's um move on because we need to get past the goonies otherwise nobody will Dee, what are we talking about today? Well, we are talking about, as she sips her immaculately made coffee. So delicious. A few things, actually. There's a few things that we've had that are background.

For starters, we want to talk about some of the hits and misses that we've had since we've been in Singapore. There have been probably, I'm going to say, more misses than hits. A lot more misses than hits. I'm going to classify it as education. Yeah, yeah. Look, I don't think our batting average is that much worse than what it was in Australia, to be honest. What's your thoughts? Yeah. Well, we're still building our community over here, so that's what's happening. We're seeking out the community. So if you think back to when we first started. Right. You think back two years ago. Yeah. Right.

Yeah, it sucked balls. We nearly gave up. Hits and misses back then, probably the same ratio. So the other thing is we've got some upcoming events we want to discuss with you, but probably the most interesting topic. Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn of rejection. Mm-hmm. It's been a while. Yeah, but I think this one seemed to be a little bit more close to home somehow. Yeah, this one actually kind of threw me for a six. A six or maybe a four? It was a hard three and a half. Yeah. It was like a foul ball left field just converting for our American friends.

I don't know sports. No, you don't. Are we talking about golf? Yeah, golf. Yeah, four. So rejection. Yeah, so rejection.

So rejection so that's i mean do you want to i think you should probably take a start on this rough all right i'll do it um rejection it it is real it happens it happens if you're a single it happens if you're a swinger um is there a difference i will maybe get into that in a little bit but um you know it's it sucks let's be fair being rejected if you've kind of either put yourself out there or you have an idea that you've put yourself out there you feel like you like someone and you are rejected yeah it's shitty yeah and it makes you wonder i guess why is it uh you are you not interesting i'd be really interested in the the lady the lady swingers out there um i'd be interested in whether you generally take it to the fact that it's your fault rather than it being a couple problem.

certainly in this instance i think you've taken it as that it's it's because of something or it's because they're not interested in you correct yeah that's exactly how i've taken it yeah but you forgot i'm not gonna lie i mean my dirty laundry is out there i'm happy to talk about it it's it's an interesting topic and i think it's probably going to help some other people. And, yeah, I was upset. I think you've forgotten, though, that there's two to this party, right? And, you know, it might have been just me. Yeah, it could have been.

But in my eyes, I'm seeing, I've taken, as you said, I've taken this rejection reasonably more difficult than I would have taken other ones.

Yeah, more taken other ones more personal so normally i'd be like shrug it off they don't like us they don't like us in this one i've said this person does not like there's something there's something off with them liking me yeah why is that do you think um you know what i was actually thinking about this earlier in preparation for the podcast and I think that I was probably more invested in this person than I have maybe been with other people and that's why other rejections have not had any significant impact perhaps is because I wasn't I guess you know maybe that interested or you know as I've just shrugged it off as a you know that's fine don't like each other move on to people who do there's not a big issue I mean that's we're all adults here so let's just move on whereas I think this one I've kind of gone okay well I was actually interested in that individual that that person and they did not reciprocate and so you're in your investment i mean how do you how do you define the investment was it that i mean because i think this time around you were probably a lot more involved in the communication and the vetting because normally i do the vetting right um so you don't even want to know how many people have rejected us with me doing the vetting.

So, yeah, I'm just – I'm curious. Do you think that it's because you were more involved? Yeah, okay. Because you were involved very early as well. I'll take this into a club scenario, right, versus what's happened. So say we're in – and we have been.

We were rejected at an event in Sydney, and we'd met the couple in the night we'd invited them back to the bedroom they were not interested now that for me i'm like okay well cool i just met you i haven't really formed any kind of like intellectual or sexual bond bond stimulation with you so maybe you know of course there is some degree because some degree because we wouldn't be inviting them back to the bedroom unless there was. But with more prolonged communication, you begin to find the person interesting intellectually, sexually, physically, all of these things.

And then the rejection occurs. So you are much more invested in thinking yet that person's cool yeah okay well that's interesting i mean i'm that being the case i'm really glad that i generally do the vetting because you'd be like a puddle i don't think so no because again it's if you vet if you're vetting by like i don't know tinder or field or you're in in a club, all of those things. Nobody vets on Tinder. I don't know. All those things are pretty quick. I'm going to call them Band-Aid rejections. Oh, really? Yeah, the fast-off style. You have not really formed. You've spoken a little bit.

You haven't met. Yeah. Once, twice, three times. I mean, that's where you're starting to then go actually yeah this person is interesting these other rejections are from quick interactions yeah okay so um i mean one of my initial well not concerns not really the right way to put it but initial feel on this was that you'd actually started forming some feelings for this person Thank you.

one of my initial well not concerns not really the right way to put it but initial feel on this was that you'd actually started forming some feelings for this person yeah we'd spoken about that actually because you put that up um yeah i know i'm just now i'm talking to the world of podcasts yeah i know that's my point so of course we communicated we've communicated about this and you've said like you know see what what's the deal it's just another person yeah like i was starting plenty more fish in the sea i was starting to think perhaps there was some you know almost poly feel there no i know we've discussed this but i was feeling that there were because of the because of how poorly you took this rejection and you did take it very badly yeah you took it i was not i didn't take it like a champ no you took it like an angry angry bitch no i didn't i was sad yeah you were sad and then you went to angry did you went through i think nearly the full is there 12 spectrum of emotions is there 12 stages of um recovery well i don't know what it is or is that alcoholism i don't know i'm an australian so that means i'm an alcoholic yeah you don't yeah um you know what also probably i think that it was the fact that there was more of a more of the fact that i found this person stimulating as i've said a million times already on this podcast plus we are seeking to find a community in singapore yeah combine that those two factors and i think that's probably got a lot to do with why I took it so hard because in my head I was replaying the scenario where, hey, we've got some friends in Singapore now, we've got a community, we're starting to find our feet here in the lifestyle, this is awesome.

To then have that kind of taken away from me. The tablecloth pulled out from under you. That was like, oh, shit, shit not only have i been or you know yes again we been rejected but also god damn i thought that there was going to be some fun i thought that this was going to be you know more of a prolonged thing maybe friendship pants on pants off friendship yeah not the case no no bit of a failure yeah so uh no uninter uninterested, which is... So do you think that there's a difference between a single person being rejected and a swinger couple being rejected? You mean, sorry, you mean...

You were out dating, you know, dating and single. Oh, okay. You were rejected by a woman versus now if we were rejected as a couple. Is there a difference? Well, I think probably the way we do swinging, I would say there is a difference. Because rejected as a single for me was – so I'm not ashamed to say that I'm – I believe that I'm more interesting once people get to know my mind, right? I'm not built like a great god.

I mean'm not bad for an old cracker but i'm not built like a great god right so um so that being the case i think people find me a little bit more interesting once they get to know me a little right i and again no no issue with that because i've always i've been working on my mind since my childhood so that I'm actually filling the gaps. So when you get rejected by a single – when I was rejected by a single lady when I was dating, typically that was pre-them knowing my mind. Okay. It was a superficial rejection, right?

So back to your Band-Aid analogy analogy it was a bit of a band-aid quick quick you know snatch off the band-aid fairly early on have you been um rejected then after a couple of dates um i'm probably going to sound a little arrogant here but i'm going to say not to my memory okay um but that's probably happened but you've just blanked it out because you're so emotionally distraught. Yeah, I was scarred. There, there. Okay, we don't want to bring that up. Yeah, the only firm rejection I've had was a very long time ago. Then that was, you know, I'm talking now, what, 18?

So that's a long time back. I was just thinking about it. I think that it would be i don't i don't know really how to put this but as a single there's one person you are the one person you've got you've you know you're responsible it's within not your control but that's it yeah couple you've now got two people yeah and one of them i.e. me, the other person is outside of your control. In other words, you can't do anything about that person if they legitimately just go, you know what, I don't like the cut of a jib. And sometimes you do some batshit crazy stuff. Yeah, right.

And so you've got no control. And I don't know, that, I mean, we play together, we swing together, you know, this is a relationship. But I guess, you know, this is a relationship, but I guess, you know, could that be disappointing in a manner? Yeah. If you really liked someone and had a connection and they were like, no.

No, because, again, we don't, to use the same phrase that everyone's heard a million times, we don't take one for the team right so no this is a short is the absolute short answer um the longer answer is perhaps we can perhaps and i expect nobody else will take one for the team either so in in their in their eyes if he's not interested in you or she's not interested in you um then so be it you know again there's plenty more fish in the sea yeah and look i mean we've stepped in singapore which is surrounded by sea and there doesn't seem to be a lot of fucking fish here well some trout they eat a lot of fish there's some trout we've been rejected a number of times in the last two years yeah yeah absolutely this is the only one i've ever really said to you this is shit shit.

Yeah, this is the first one you've said it stung. Yeah, it did a little. Here's a question for you, and it's a little bit of a taboo subject, I'm going to say. We're talking about fucking other people's wives, and there's a taboo subject. Yeah. Okay, what is it? Well, people always hate talking about battle of the sexes, but it's true. Women, nurturers, men, hunters, gatherers. Do you think that there's a difference if you liked someone and they rejected us versus me liking someone and they rejected us? Do you think I would take it harder?

And is that a sex thing or is it just my personality i don't think you can break that down into sex i think the caveman um psychology has has changed vastly you know the the psychology of men have men were trained or genetically pre-programmed to have multiple partners and women were genetically pre-programmed not to and, you know, all that sort of stuff. I think as a species now we've grown out of that, my opinion, right? And I know other people do not share my opinion. But in your case, you are a pleaser. You are a pleaser.

Oh, yeah, I like to please yes she does um so that being the case i think for you it's probably more just that it's you you know you you like to please and when the ultimate displeasure or you know is somebody actually turning around and saying well well, actually, I'm not really interested in you. That's the ultimate, the ultimate for you. That's them saying, I don't want your Christmas present. All right. Yeah, valid. That would be my take on it. Whereas, okay, so reverse the question. What about me? Do you think I fit a stereotypical man mold or do you think that it's – Yes, I do. Bam.

Yeah, I think that if I – Bitch slap. Mic drop. She's out. If I think about the scenarios over the last two years where we have had a scenario occur and I have interpreted said scenario way B and you've interpreted it way A. And I think that the way that we interpret tends to fall back to the female being more emotional, more emotionally led and the male not being. If I just think back over the last two years. I wasn't asking you about, I was talking about me. Yeah, do I think you base decisions on the general, you know. Do you think I think with my cock is the short, long and short of this?

Because that's what it comes down to. I was thinking actually, I would say more logical, from a more logical place, which is they're not rejecting you, C, they're rejecting us, is the A. And and b let's just get back on a website and find another one yeah yeah but that is interested in our company yeah i don't think that's i don't think that's me i mean some of this stuff stings me as well you know certainly i certainly i know when it to to uh to steal another one i know who's the steak and who's the potatoes of this particular relationship.

So, you know, I think if somebody's uninterested, in a lot of cases it's probably me who's leading that disinterest. I don't really have a problem with that generally. I just know my place in the world you know and i know where i'm hey i know that once you get to well i believe that once you get to know my mind i'm much more interesting than i am if you just strip me down stand me in a corner that's my belief so um i firmly believe that we've been rejected numerous times because of me, not because of us. And that's okay.

I can deal with that because, again, every person is allowed to have their opinion. And their opinion also includes their opinion of me. Yep. So if they've got an opinion that they think doesn't work, you know, that he doesn't work for us as a couple, so be it. High five.

Well done, guys, because that's how you should be doing it should be working all right yeah um before we get off the rejection topic let's talk about methods of rejection ways that people reject you face to face very rare would you say face to face is pretty rare ghosting is probably the most common ghosting explain that to the listeners i think every every listener out there except you who wrote down fade into the mist fading into the mist um understands ghosting ghosting is when just people just they don't respond to the point that you then feel awkward continuing to contact them yeah exactly so that they eventually they eventually fade out enough that you understand that they're just not interested i did actually we we were speaking today about a rejection service there is actually a rejection service you can actually get somebody to call or text or email for a price and and um tell the person i don't like you please stop contacting me yeah yeah absolutely but yeah i think ghosting is the most common because it's the least path of resistance I don't like you, please stop contacting me.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But yeah, I think ghosting is the most common because it's the least path of resistance. You don't have to actually stand up and be counted in that. You don't have to say, well, hey, this is me. You've been weighed. Yeah, you've been weighed, you've been measured, you've been found wanting. Wanting, yeah.

Okay, so what about lying and just purely just making shit up i think that's probably the second path yeah i agree the second easiest path yeah we've used that in the path past you know that earlier on because it's also like you want to tell them that you want to reject them but you're also not trying to hurt their feelings right yeah but sometimes i but sometimes... I mean, again, if somebody were to say to me, hey, look, I'm just not interested in you... Perfectly fine. That actually works for me, right? But nobody... I've got honesty as the last option. But nobody wants to do that.

Nobody wants to do that. I don't care who you are. And there'll be people on the other end of this, the other end of this mic thinking... I always tell people. I always tell people. Well, no, because sometimes it then leads to a follow-up question like, why? What's wrong with me? You don't want to get into that because you don't want to hurt someone. Yeah. Why? What's wrong with me? Your breath smells like tapioca chips all the time. Actually, that would actually probably bring us in. We like tapioca. Tapioca chips. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know where you're going with that one.

No, anyway. Maybe you have smelly feet. Who has? Yeah, smelly feet. I don't know. I mean, they have deodorant for that shit now. You're too short, too tall. Yeah. Okay, so lying and making stuff up, you think, is probably high on the agenda. I think it's number two behind ghosting. Do you have any memories of any rejections that you knew were blatant lies, but they're outrageous? Do you have anything that springs to mind? No, not at all. Really? No. What have you got?

Remember, you've got to know this, and I don't think there's anything that you can put your finger on that you know is actually a blatant lie. That's true. You would just assume. You have assumed on numerous occasions, particularly circling the one that has stung you a little. Open to the discussion for the topic tonight. You have assumed that there's been some lying there. Yeah. Yeah. And I actually wouldn't agree with that. Okay. Yeah. But anyway. So, yeah, the... So, ghosting, number one. Yep. Lying. Lying, number two. Mm-hmm. Number three would be, what else did you have on there?

Well, let's see. Honesty. Yeah. That's about it. Honesty is dead last. Dead last. In every race. Yep. Because most people don't. I mean, we're no different. Every time we've had to reject anyone. Okay. I've generally done it, for starters. Would you classify someone just being impossible to catch up with as ghosting? Ooh, good question. So, you know, you make a date, then they get sick. Then you make another date, then they're studying and doing an exam. Then you make another date. Their baby, they can't get a babysitter. No, their babysitter cancels.

Make another date, they get called away for a business trip. Yeah, and I see, I actually think that is ghosting. That's ghosting? That's ghosting. That's just a, so they're giving you, they're giving you reasons so that they don't have to communicate with you. Is that trickle-fed ghosting? Let's call it that. Are we breaking ghosting down into different aspects? Subcategories. We can do a process, like a flow chart later if you want.

Yeah,wn sweet anything else on rejection do you want to bring up this topic anything else about the recent rejection no anything else that you got to say i don't think so i mean i urge everyone to be as honest as they can possibly muster with that being nasty um yes yeah to a point though where do you draw the line like i we're not interested because um you know it doesn't appear that she is interested in swinging or we're not interested in you guys because um well i think i think you can the discrepancy yeah but you can gear that right you can say we're not interested because uh because we don't believe you're on the same page.

That doesn't alienate everyone. She's attractive, he's not. Or the other way around, which is highly uncommon. It's more that way. That's why I use that as an example. So when that's the case, I think it's just we both don't find you guys mutually attractive. You would say mutually attractive? Yeah. You're welcome.

the when that's the case i think it's just we don't find we both we both don't find you guys are mutually attractive you would say mutually attractive yeah i don't think you'd i again there's no reason to alienate or to to isolate oh i just meant the attractive section like you know people would classify that instantly as physically i think is that too? Could you soften that? Physically attract? No, you just say you've got a head like a dropped pie. No, I mean, like, could you instead say that, you know, we don't have that four-way connection? Would you instead say that instead of we're not?

I think most people would, yes, and probably myself included. I mean, I'm not great.

We're not great at rejecting people either sweetie you've you know this we especially you you're worse than i am even in a in a situation you've gotten yourself into situations where you shouldn't be because you weren't willing to say to somebody i'm actually not i'm actually not interested in you yeah that's true yeah so rejection doesn't come naturally to us and i don't think it comes naturally to a lot of people no because you do you don't want to be mean you feel like you're disappointing someone yada yeah but you got to flip the coin there as well and say that so for example you're in a club don't waste their fucking time yeah let them go find people who might actually find them interesting.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But, yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Especially eyeball to eyeball is the hardest. Text is a lot easier, whether via email or via, you know, whatever media you use for instant messaging. Text is always a lot easier than eyeball to eyeball because you've got to look at somebody's you know especially if they're for you as an example if this had happened eyeball to eyeball you would have been able to see you actually be disappointed yeah you would have been able to see that that small amount of crush happen in your eyes as it came out of their mouth. Yeah, that's probably true.

So nobody wants to see that. Hence why there are, well, I don't see a problem with a rejection service, to be honest. We've got so many services now to find people. Why do we not have services to also get rid of people? Oh God, it's so impersonal. I probably need a moment to think about that proper.

But it's impersonal also impersonal also the lead up the dating you know some of the dating apps and that sort of thing they're all very physically biased for starters you know so i wouldn't expect to be uh doing too well on on tinder for example because it's all about physical appearance so why um why saying. Well, if anyone has any rejection stories, we'd love to hear them. Oh, I'd love to hear them. Love to read them out. And in fact, if you've got one where somebody has made up a lie about some crazy thing that's happening in their personal life or whatever.

Yeah, like somebody ate their dog or something like that. No, not that. I didn't say puppy. I didn't say puppy. Why are people... Why is there constantly bad things happening to animals? I didn't say there was. I don't like it. You're just taking a jump. If you have a rejection story, let us know, especially if you knew it was a lie. Like they said to you, I'm not going to be in the country for six months, and then you ran into them in three weeks' time at a shopping mall. Yeah. Out with their girlfriend having breakfast, for example. For example. Yeah. All right. Let's move on. Asia.

Swing in in Asia. Swing in in Asia. How's it going? How's it tracking? Whew, man.

I mean, I've been trying to build up to eventually running a marathon, but I feel like attempting to swing in Asia is just, you know, kind of practice for the constant well certainly it's um certainly it has the mental the same mental drain as running a marathon yeah i would think i've never run a marathon i never planned to run a marathon i'm a fat person trapped in a skinny person's body how do you swing in asia we've spoken about it before websites there's not really one kind of major website here so we do we find them find people via multiple media options the majority honestly through field sdc a lot lately yeah um but again there's not a lot of people on either of those no that's right so you do you have to constantly go on to multiple has It's gotten a lot better since Field opened their app to Android devices.

And the majority of people in Singapore, and I'm going to say in Asia in general... How do you download this if you wanted to download what you're talking about? Well, you go to the Google Play Store if you're on Android or you go to iTunes. And how do you spell it? Or the app store, it's F-E-E-D field. Yeah. Quite a good app. Quite a good app. But it's very... Basic. It's Tinder-like. It's Tinder-like. Search functionality on there or is it the whole swipey thing? It's a swipey thing. It doesn't have searching. Yeah. It's local. It's location-based. The same as Tinder. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So, Swingin' in Asia, multiple websites. You you got to constantly kind of keep up with it and to be honest not only do we have multiple websites on the go we have multiple chat functionality on the go asia and they they tend to use a lot more kind of instant messaging so using like kick we're using whatsapp we've got twitter messages coming in emails then we've got all the websites and you've forgotten if you're're talking to anyone in China, they use WeChat.

So you've got, that's what I was saying, whatever your instant message choice is, because there's so many different choices in Asia that people use. And then you've got standard messaging, SMS, which almost doesn't exist here.

Why would you do that when you've got whatsapp whatsapp or yeah or so many other options the point is this it is becoming almost impossible to keep up with all of the different apps yeah messaging functions and then you send me a message on you'll send me an email you'll send me a whatsapp throughout the day maybe like a kick message because you want to send a kick there's another one you've got a gif you know you want to send that yeah and it's just like what what the hell is going on like my day i've actually got work to do well i mean it's yeah there needs to be an app developed that actually ties these all up but i know there's one for android at the moment but not one for iphone um for any apple products but anyway that yes it sucks balls it really does the amount of traffic we receive on different media is driving me insane constant flipping around between stuff we say that and then we're like hey drop us an email on cnd at swingdownunder.com now those ones are good because it gives i actually really enjoy receiving listener emails because i get the chance and frankly we don I get the chance to read it and then I get to respond in a pretty comprehensive manner.

We don't get enough emails, people. We don't get enough. We'd like more because we really enjoy listening to what you guys have going on in your lives. For our friends out there, feel free to make up an email, make up a name and just send us emails because you want to feel love. That's right. Just be Godzilla at Gmail. Don't let us suffer any more rejection. Godzilla at gmail.com. Send us something. It's probably already taken. Yeah. Well, Godzilla 1, 2, 3, 9, 7, 8. That won't be taken. All right. Godzilla Bride, triple six. We've caught up with some local couples. We have. Tell us about it.

So we've caught up for two meet and greets um they were that they do meet and greets every friday and they were going to do and generally every month they have a what do they call it uh i can't remember the name that they do it's like a big play session yeah it's a it's a it's effectively a hotel hotel bar up into a playroom later on that that they book so there's a some cost associated with that whereas the meet and greets generally it's just the cost of your own drinks and food or whatever you end up doing for the night um so you've caught up with the there's a couple yeah there's the same hosts organize these events every week um and we've caught up with some really lovely interesting individuals we really have um unfortunately there's a lot more single guy bias at these events than what we're probably used to i would absolutely agree i think single guys attending events um in australia is probably much more policed especially the ratio um not only the ratio but the quality of guy is really policed.

And by quality, again, I don't mean Zac Efron six-pack abs here. I mean, just, you know. It's amazing that Zac Efron sprung straight to mind. I've been thinking about him for weeks. Any Zac Efron lookalikes out there, shoot us an email. Or you could start as Zac Efron at gmail.com. Hey, ba-dum. Yeah, so I think that, yes, I would agree to your comment that it is a little bit biased. I was very surprised by the volume. Yeah, because, well, again, we're typically used to there being a balance. Even if there are singles, there'll be a single male to single female.

You know, there'll normally be a... Yeah, well, there'll be like one single versus five couples invited kind of thing. Yeah, exactly, to provide some balance. But, yeah, it was certainly the first event.

I think there were, what eight couples oh throughout the evening yeah probably eight couples and there would have been five guys five single guys yeah i suppose yeah yeah so that's um even for us who we actually enjoyed playing the single guys is is a bit um was a bit much to process mainly because the other thing was i don't think there was any single guy there that we particularly found interesting. Plus when we turned up, all of the single guys were there, but the couples filtered throughout the evening. Yeah, the couples hadn't arrived yet.

The ratio was only two couples and the five singles. Yeah, to start. Single guys are always keen to get there early. I would be as well if I was a single guy.

Yeah, you want to the good ones yeah if you can if you can yeah what else what else about the local why don't you tell me tell me something because i've been talking i'm trying to like i'm trying i'm talking a lot here partially seriously these people are not interested in my dulcet tones okay they'd rather hear you talk and me describe how you're talking catch-ups meet and greet every week i think is probably a little bit too much yeah uh and i don't think because you've diluted the events i don't think then that you don't get the turnout going to get the numbers that you would want and and two you're not going to get the good people at the event because they're going to be more spread out.

You mean you don't get a culmination of the people we'd be interested in at one event? Correct. Yeah, I would agree with that. And I think that's probably, I think even the hosts understand that portion of it because they have made it a point to make sure that we're very welcome at these events, I think is probably the best way to put it. They've pointed out that there was another Australian couple coming on a particular night and things like that to try and get us along to the event.

But I don't think it – I mean, it doesn't come down to whether there's anian couple there or not it's just whether there's a couple we find interesting we found an awful lot of australian couples we didn't find interesting yeah when we lived in australia right that's right so i mean you got to think about it similar to i mean let's take our secret spot in sydney swingers club they've got events on they have a you know an annual calendar monthly calendar they spread stuff out yeah they're not throwing all their eggs in the one basket they're not having one month where it's just event and it's the same event i mean they try to spread it out and the reasons behind that is because you don't want to dilute your parties yeah but at the same token they're available they're open you know a weekend yeah so you know at the same time you kind of want to have that that ability to turn up maybe not have an event or turn up and just kind of go and who's there is there and it's fun and you'll meet someone or you'll just have sex with your partner and it's all good yeah yeah absolutely a similar thing i think probably the the frequency of the events is probably a bit too much yeah i would agree um yeah so that i suppose i'm I'm going to go to Halloween here.

Okay. Because this particular group has invited us to Halloween. I think it's a $200 cover from memory, which includes some drinks. Drinks in Singapore are redonkulously expensive. Yeah, they're very expensive. Ridiculous. Tax is high. Yeah, there's a sin tax on anything that is considered you know a sin here so uh so the the package i think is quite reasonable at two hundred dollars wouldn't you agree it's a oh yes and no it's an event it's an event at an open place it's not like a swing swingers-only event.

So when I think about $200, again, I'm going to go back to our secret spot club and I think about the entry to that and the facilities that you have available to you for that amount of money. Yeah, but there aren't those facilities here in Singapore. But that's my point. So when I'm thinking about the cost of an event or an entry, yes, that price with alcohol involved is reasonable. But, you know, is it reasonable then for a lifestyle event that is just an open, is just a random bar?

Yes, especially given we've probably met, I think, the majority of people who are going to turn up to this event. Which, I mean, we're not going there with expectations too. I mean, the events we've been to, we've just sat around chatting to people and it's kind of nice to meet some locals and have a chat about just random things.

I suppose the problem is Halloween is such a big event on the swinging calendar and I think we're going to probably almost miss it this year yeah i agree yeah it's going to be a fairly fairly um i'm going to say boring um halloween and compared to compared to halloween's of past well last year we actually went to a vanilla event and then followed it up with a swinging event yeah i know and it was Fucking awesome It was good It was great It was damn good Oh yeah So we've got I guess followed it up with a swinging event and it was fucking awesome it was good yeah it was damn good oh yeah um so we've got i guess two other couples that we're currently chatting to from sdc that we're going to catch up with in coming weeks and go on some dates so um mixed couples as a matter of fact so um not not 100 local but a mixture of an of an expat and a local.

Yeah, which is typically the way it seems to work here, to be honest. The guys typically are expat guys, and the girls are typically... Locals. Well, locals, a bit of a stretch. They're generally, you know, like an Asian region, which is, you know, it's just how it seems to work, whatever. A lot of people come in for work.

Yeah, that's right yeah that's right and well typically the guys it's single guys who come in for work because they travel from the uk us australia um and they do it generally when they're quite young and they grow up through their business childhood here in singapore so it's not really a surprise that they're generally hooked up with a local girl yeah i'm looking forward to that it'll be um an interesting dynamic and keen to keen to i guess uh you know hear more about their experience because they live here um so that's of particular interest to me i want to know how they've they've how they've one gotten into the lifestyle but then two how they've found their feet in the lifestyle here.

Because what I want to know is if, I mean, I'm thinking… Where are the websites, you bastards? Not just that. Like, say, for example, you know, we've been swinging for two years. When you think back on the people we've met and the activity we've been involved in and what we've learned, would our two years and the knowledge that we've gained and experiences we've had, if we were living in Singapore the whole time, would it have blown out to that would have been four years, six years?

No, I think we would have just travelled more because there's a lot of very sexually diverse countries just a hop, skip and a $30 flight from here. So I think that would have been how we would have done it we would ended up in kuala lumpur we would ended up in bangkok yeah you know places like that which are renowned for having a uh a seething sexual undertone jesus you like that yeah yeah i ate a thesaurus for breakfast did you have dinosaur cereal again darling i did put them um but otherwise i mean I'm sorry.

thesaurus for breakfast did you have dinosaur cereal again darling i did put them um but otherwise i mean what else is going on with us we've got some trouble coming up though we do we do well do we want to cover let's cover some of the further downs and we'll get to the good stuff at the end right so we had we had a we've had two single guys fails you would have everyone who's listened would have listened to the Italian, French, Swiss guy. He's ghosted, disappeared. So that's a bit shit, but it is what it is, as they say. And you have a single expat guy that you were talking to.

He's not great at communication. He's given us really really like one sentence or one word answers and then also strangely never available on the weekend yeah well no he's and he actually voiced that out loud i am not available on weekends ever so what would you think just if you'll just take a moment just a second because it's not going to take you too long single guy on field not available on weekends it's almost like he's got a second Thank you. because it's not going to take you too long. Single guy, on field, not available on weekends.

It's almost like he's got a second family or a first family. Or a first family. So, yes, we've tapered that one off. Actually, I think we've probably almost ghosted him because I meant to actually say, look, we're not interested if you can't catch up on weekends as well, but I haven't done that. And it's been like a week since we, yeah. You should do that. Yeah, I will. Actually, we've had contact from an interesting one too. We went on a date a number of months back here with an expat couple and we felt that there was something off in their relationship.

We felt that they weren't ready for the lifestyle or that there was something not right. And so we called it and we didn't catch up with them again. And we've recently heard from him out of the blue. And lo and behold, it turns out that they're not, they're taking a break and he's keen on swinging on his own. Yeah, catching up with us alone. So that, again, is not really a big surprise and also not at all what we're interested in, no.

Because there was something untoward there to start with that we both picked, which is kind of unusual because normally you're like, you know, Daisy in a field swinging with the breeze, sort of. Whee! Whee! Okay. Not at all. Okay. I don't get that analogy. No, no, I don't think anybody does. Right. Well, as long as we're all on the same page. She makes it awesome though. No, it doesn't. So yeah, that was a bit weird one. We didn't, we responded to him and we politely declined actually. And we did actually say to him, we thought something was off in your relationship.

And that's when he kind of came back and said, well, yeah, you know, and now I'm swinging on my own. We're taking a break. But again, how much of that can you honestly believe? Well, given when we first met them, the first thing he did was take us both aside and say, hey, just so you know, I'm on Tinder. I bumped into your profile. Please don't tell her. Please don't tell her. That was not a good indicator to start, was it? No. So hence why we've probably ended up where we are. Anyway, on to the exciting stuff. What's exciting? We've got some travel. Yes.

We're traveling to some of those sexually- We are. Sexually under-trained locations. And we're going out with a bag. So we're going to, first,. We are. And the Philippines is pretty... If anyone Googles like sex Philippines, meeting Philippines, you will find a lot of information about how do I put this sexually engaged the females are in the Philippines? Yeah. Open? Yeah. How guys can go there and score with two or three ladies in one night? Is that what you're trying to say, politely? They love the cock. So that'll be interesting for us.

We're actually going there and I don't know whether we'll make it a lifestyle event. I imagine we'll probably suss out some local bars. I imagine we'll probably have a look to see if there's anything on SDC around and anyone of interest. And then we're off to, in January, we're off to Phuket. Yes. Thailand. Not a bad place to go. Bit of happening. So if anyone's traveling through Phuket. January next year. January next year. Let us know. We did have a guy contact us actually from Phuket on SDC wanting to go out on a date. Yeah. Very bizarre shots. All just him inside women.

That was his profile pictures. Yeah, which. Multiples of them. There's like six or seven. Yeah. We get it. You have a cock. Another person has a vagina. You insert said cock into vagina. You put them together. And wow. Yeah. It's not like two penises where you have to have one with a foreskin and one without to get a tow truck going. Oh, I've had a run of foreskins lately, haven't I? Yeah, I don't know. You keep talking about foreskins like they're this big surprise to you. I don't get it. I don't get it. Yeah. You keep talking about it. It's like you've got a foreskin tally.

No, I just realized like recently I've had, you know, my fair share of foreskins. Surprisingly, men are born with a foreskin. Yeah. They come with one. It's like... Built in. Yeah. It's like buying a Ferrari that's not red. It's not like you get the added extra. No, it's not a bolt-on. It's not an accessory. Yeah, yeah, I get that. Yeah, you sure? Yeah. Because you seem a little confused. No, I just like my sports pack with the slimline version of it. I like my motorbike to be naked. You like a naked bike, do you? Naked faring bike, yeah. Yeah, rather than a faired bike.

Okay, all right, well, you know, whatever floats your boat. You still seem to deal with the fairing pretty well, just quietly. Yeah. You seem to enjoy the fairing. Hey, you know, it's just a preference. It doesn't mean that, you know, I won't get on a bike that has fairing. Oh, my God. This is awesome. What else are you... Sorry about this. I've got nothing else. I'm going to wrap it up unless you got something. No, I've got nothing. That's it. I think we're done. I think that's about as exciting as our updates come. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Rejection sucks. Yeah, rejection sucks balls.

But it happens. It does happen even to the best of us, which is possibly not us, but I'm sure there's the best of somebody out there. Awesome. All right. Well, thanks, everyone, for listening. Yeah. You keep on tuning in. So, really, I mean, something's wrong with you guys. Yeah. Throw us a review on iTunes if you get a chance.

actually if you go to itunes um and you or you go to our website as well there's some instructions there d has been kind enough to add some instructions on how to review us without um leaving you know any personal traces so obviously if you don't want electronic finger yeah if you don't want people to know that you're listening to swinging podcasts cool so there's a way to do that check it out it's on our um on our website's links but otherwise we'll leave you with that so for now this is c and this is d and this is swinging down under