P86 – Swinger Transitions & Picking up Unicorns

Transcript

you're listening to swinging down under podcast about the swinging non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained informed angry happy and horny join our international swinging adventures and welcome i I'm C, crazy female Australian sheila and believer of all things love, balance and sexy times. And this is Dee. I'll be doing my best to keep the dad jokes to a minimum which is probably going to be highly unlikely. Along with that I'll keep C and check where I can. Did I mention I'm a pilot?

We'll be your podcast hosts for today so sit back and enjoy the sweet sweet melodies. G'day guys and welcome to episode 86 of the Swinging Down Podcast. Excuse me. Yeah. It's not episode 86. Yes it is. It is stardate. Fuck off. It is stardate 76. Sorry stardate 96 excuse me or 97. I need to check out my Stardate calendar because I'm not sure anymore. It's too close to 86 and now you feel stupid. I do, because I'm trying to round it up to get to Stardate 100. Excellent. We're here in Sydney and we are with the Negronis. Thank you for having us at your house yet again.

There's a fucking surprise.

We managed to align ourselves with other boozozers I don't know what you're talking about as she sips at her espresso martini that doesn't have enough martini in it no it doesn't too much you are you people get in my kitchen so today we're talking about transitions from dating sites to eventually getting into the bedroom and we're later Going to mansplained vaginas And then we've got a couple of listener questions if we end up With time And we're recording on a New portable recorder It is pretty fancy because There's been some feedback that the last Couple of times we've been on the podcast It sounded like complete Horseshit and I'm actually Just I have to throw it out might be Because people think your voice is distorted Is that your real voice I don't know.

podcast it sounded like complete horse shit and i'm actually just i have to throw it out might be because people think your voice is distorted is that your real voice sorry uh that's for the tasmanian devils that's uh mr negroni aka mr cookie monster so hello but yes we are recording on a new zoom h5 so i really want to just take a moment to thank our Patreon supporters. We actually used the support from Patreon to purchase said Zoom H5. Actually, no, we used the support from Patreon to buy enough alcohol to drink ourselves stupid enough to then buy a H5 with our own money. Oh, I see.

Potatoes, potatoes. Exactly.

We just got drunk enough that we didn't feel so bad about spending the money on buying the h5 i think yeah and shout out to autumn whiskey who are our new newest patreon autumn whiskey autumn whiskey i know it goes well with negroni right nice i want to meet them yeah i'm picturing open fire whiskey that kind of stuff chopping wood with a sprinkling of snow on the open legs i mean whiskey bottle no you meant open legs i did right so let's get into it transitions dating sites to getting on kick kicked going to a date so yeah so yeah so dating obviously if you want to end up in the bedroom there are some steps that you kind of have to follow unless of course you're the Negronis and we'll mention later how they tend to pick up at bars randomly and bring people home I don't think it's the Negronis I think Mrs.

Negroni here may have been more involved it was instigated by Mr. Negroni in this case. Was it? Instigated by, but... Mrs. Negroni doesn't remember. Mrs. Negroni remembers thinking it was a bad idea to do tequila shots, but tequila old fashions is a whole other matter. Tragically and somewhat controversially in any of your sex tape, Mrs.

Negroni doesn't remember it is it is something that we actually commonly get asked you know how do you transition from finding somebody on a dating site to them talking to them on kick and eventually going on a date and then how do you transition into the bedroom it's's horrible thank you for listening to today's podcast it is a really big deal because you are i guess you you have to put your best foot forward right you want people to like you but you want them to like the genuine you in that first message you know so let's and we've spoken about our first message to you guys on a number of occasions too many some might say too many uh so so daryl if you were to send somebody a message and you want to transition to kick let's talk about how you would do it well generally it's let's talk on kick i mean that's how i roll yeah i use um you're really really sly maneuvering where i just ask them if they'd like to transition to kick and if they say no then we don't transition to kick Alright, but how many messages on the dating site before you move to kick?

What do you guys think? It does depend I mean, some people also don't have kick some people seem to hate it so, you know, at that point you still have to just keep doing it on the app Plus, Yeah, no, that's a good point, because actually, we're going to be meeting up with a slightly older couple. Yeah, they're in their 80s. Hardly. But we haven't really spoken to them about messaging on Kik, because it's just been about passing some messages forward on the actual dating app, and what we'd rather do is meet face-to-face.

But in fairness, I think what we usually rather do is meet face to face but in fairness i think what we usually rather do is meet face to face anyway so because we lead such busy lives we don't spend a huge amount of time messaging to and from on kick in a very long extended conversation before we decide to meet we usually already worked out via the profile messages whether we want to meet in the first place and so the kick becomes incidental so have you guys swapped numbers with them phone numbers mobile numbers no not yet okay so you're just literally chatting on the dating site and you're meeting these guys next saturday potentially yes okay yeah and they're using sparrows smoke signals if you will hey maybe that's our fault we haven't even asked them if they've got kicked like I said they're in their 80s so they've only got flip phones so maybe we're assuming Sorry, they live in the 80s?

Or are they Well, if they lived in the 80s, that'd be amazing It'd be like Stranger Things, but sexy It's funny though, because I think I have actually probably Judged people when they say they don't want To go off the dating site to a social media Judge people?

You've I've outright refused They say they don't want to go off the dating site to a social media judge people you've i've outright refused yeah so they say they say they don't want to download what the anything what's apple kick and and kate just says well that being the case we'll just um stop talking to you oh but why what's so bad about i just find dating sites sometimes be quite cumbersome what's so bad about the kick no just dating sites are quite cumbersome so i think that if you're going to talk backwards and forwards on them sometimes like we don't necessarily always get an email alert so it'll be days before we check or the both of us might check one might check and the other one doesn't and so we don't really see it whereas like kick you can obviously have four-way conversations so yeah i just i just find it really irritating that some people don't want to talk on an item that's easier to discuss on when there's all people in the chat group it just seems a bit crazy so yes i've absolutely rejected talking to people any further on a dating app they won't talk on a kick or a whatsapp or a flubity boo i don't know any other harsh a flubity boo i don't know i've never spoken on flubity boo haven't you is there such an act i'm actually gonna look i'm gonna look right now i want to see if there's a floobity boo okay so daryl you're telling people that you want to talk to them on kick basically straight away yeah mr negrini you're having a few conversations like what what's the standard protocol is there one there is no standard protocol i mean i think the only reason i get them across to kick straight away is because i don't have the alarms and alerts set up for all of the sites we're on yeah and if we did have i'd have more things in my inbox and i'd know what to do with because you get an update for everything you know such and such posted a photo of their fart you know i mean that's amazing that is amazing i don't i don't need that i mean you had to capture this the smoke signal of the fathers i mean yeah that's pretty cool but but yeah i guess some people also just don't want to around on apps like kick all the time it's just like well we've had a couple of messages do you want to meet or not you don't need to know my life history and where i grew grew up and what my favorite brand of peanut butter is.

I mean, do you want to meet for a drink or do you not want to meet for a drink? Yeah, I guess my concern with that then is if they don't turn up. There's absolutely, like, I just feel like there's more of an opportunity to be ghosted if there's no contact. Oh, are you seeing? We're not really getting that anymore. That's not happened to us since the early days, the whole ghosting thing. But ghosting is a piece of piss as well.

The way you deal with ghosting, it's just arranged to meet somewhere awesome so if you get ghosted you don't care there is that and then there's always opportunity to just pick up people that are in the bar anyway yes that's true which we'll talk about a little bit later yeah but from a ghosting thing it's not going to make a difference right they've decided to pretend to engage with you on kicker or whatnot yeah whether it's the message whether it's the actual dating site or whether it's a messaging app it doesn't matter if they're going to go she they're going to go she they're not going to answer your messages one way or the other more okay you're going to extend that ghosting conversation yeah but ghosting in itself is a whole other weird thing that people do but yeah just a side note there is no flippity boo app okay thanks thanks for checking yeah quick we need to knock that out i guess the thing with kick thoughik though is when you send a message you can obviously see if it's been read or not, and so I guess then definitively you know if you've been ghosted or if something horrible's just happened and failed.

It's getting a little creepy, Kik. Okay. It is. Alright, well, yeah. Ask pretty soon to move to either a dating app over to a chat function or going out on a date, right? Yeah, pretty much. I think we just, we don't expect a massive conversation on cake. We've worked out whether we want to meet people usually before that. Yeah, fuck cake. So, the more interesting part, ideally, is like going from the date to, you know, hey, do you want to come back to a place? Is that because you want to talk about sex? Baby. Well, let's talk about that. So you're on a date.

You've missed the entire transition from the conversation about where it is you're going to meet. Are we? Or have you already discussed this in previous podcasts? Yeah. Well, obviously for us. Yeah. It's definitely nice for both people to make suggestions about places to meet as well. And I also obviously think that it's great for meeting halfway, you know. Yeah, it's a good barometer. They suggest meeting in a slaughterhouse. Probably not. Probably not, right? Probably not. So here's a secret. We prefer to meet people that live nearby because it's easier. Yeah. How far?

I've got the thingy on Red Hot Pie set to 25Ks because if you live further than 25Ks away, you've got to be fucking spectacular, quite frankly. So the couple that you probably possibly might happen to be meeting on Saturday, how far away do they live? A couple hundred meters, I think. Perfect. Yeah. In the general vicinity. So stumbling distance is your general thoughts on that. They're the same size of the bridge. Okay. And what about people that don't want to meet in their local cities, though? I mean, like, so there's some people that don't necessarily want to meet in their local bars.

Oh, no, we haven't planned that yet. We might not. It's an interesting question. First of all, their profile on Rental Pie has their full faces in their public photos. So they're obviously not that bothered about that, which kind of appeals to us, because if somebody's that paranoid that they don't even want to meet in their local city, it's just exhausting. I'm not sure if you're bothered with that. Is that fair? Yeah, that's fair. Is that fair? No, that's fair. It doesn't matter whether it's fair or not. That's what you guys want to do, so. Yeah, damn right.

Yeah, but so, yeah, chatting and going to the date and then bringing the date home to the house. Yeah. So generally how you lead is let's go home for wine and sex, right? I've heard that very recently. Wine and cheese. No. Mr. Negroni seems to win with wine. That was the other night. He didn't skip out the cheese portion of it. Only one of which happened to be fair. Yeah. And also, you know, in his words, when I did ask for a bucket, the response was, Yeah, I may have been drinking. Oh, yeah, you may have been. I drink.

But again, I mean, asking somebody to come from the date back home to your house, again, I think we overcomplicate matters, right? Yeah, but everybody's a little bit bashful. It's always, hey, do you want to come back to our place and maybe have another drink? Whereas as soon as that leaves your mouth, it's quite clearly, do you want to come back to our place and have some snacks? Because that is definitely what you're talking about.

Oh, except for the times when when i don't mean it so we've been in a bar before with um a couple in our last suburb and we invited them back and i was actually i really just wanted it to be for drinks because it was a work night and i was like no no this is just we don't want to stay in the bar but we live just around the corner so come back for another drink but it's just going to be drinks because i have to get up tomorrow so it's just going to be drinks They're really explicit about it So it literally is Just drinks And we just got to Chat a little bit more That was very unusual Yeah But I think if you Say that Like hey let's come back And I'm like Just so you know This is not This is not And then you end up I know it sounds like We're coming back for sex But we're really not Because there is no time And I'm tired Well it's usually easier to just stay in the bar, isn't it?

I guess it depends on whether or not you want to have like a bit more of a cozy atmosphere, drink your own wine at home Yeah, and I think it was that Show them your comic book collection Show them your comic book collection Yeah, I can always get that Which we did Um, no, I think it happened to be at that particular bar, I didn't necessarily have what we were wanting to drink in it So it was like, well, we could around the corner for free and drink something nice there's things you don't want to drink oh come on it's very rare to find a good bar with an extensive list of each semi yeah god jesus I agree I'm as aghast as you are but there we are this is the world we live in It's not a fucking perfect place Yeah, so I think you do We're having fun, let's continue Yeah, or you know You can be more, just you want to get on this That kind of thing How's the strike rate for that working for you?

You want to get on this? Yeah You've never said that So the strike rate's great then The strike rate at this point is 100% You just witnessed me say it I don't. The strike rate at this point is 100%. I can't. I can't pull that off. You said it zero. You just witnessed me say it. I can't pull that off. It's nonsense. It's nonsense. So what about you guys from a transition perspective? What's your let's go somewhere else and ah. Oh, I know what it is. Games. You play games. You get the sexy cards. Oh, you do. You get the dice and everything. Yeah. We And see what happens.

Daryl, what do you think the transition is for us? We generally don't play games if we want to take somebody to home. We might play games after we get to the home. But generally what will happen is Kate will get to the point where she's drunk and she'll just make a disturbing innuendo or just say, let's go home and fuck, pretty much. So you think that this happens when I'm drunk and I'm being quite explicit? Yeah, yeah, I mean, that happens, yeah. Okay. Either that or you tongue their throat for 15 minutes and then take them home. Yeah.

And at that point, an invite is kind of surplus to requirement. It's assumed, it's assumed invitation home.

No, no i mean generally we'll actually just ask them to come home and then i think at that moment i will infer either play or not just for further drinks you know what i mean and that's what we generally tend to do even at um even at the results or events we've done that before as well you know it doesn't have to be at home it doesn't have to be in your local city we've also said do you want to come back and hang out for a little bit no play kind of like let's just get to know each other a little bit more is the transition conversation the same at events and resorts or i mean because everybody knows i think yes that's the entire reason well that's why you've got to be careful because all of the places we've been to are not swingers resorts.

They're swingers friendly resorts. Yeah, but there's a whole lot of people there who aren't swingers. There's a whole lot of nudists. Families and stuff. Yes. You've generally not accidentally invited them to a wine bar for a chat, right? There are quite a lot of people there who have accidentally arrived at resorts. Not quite a lot, but there is also a portion of people who turn up. Hang on, have you guys accidentally chatted up a couple who were not on the scene whatsoever? They just happened to be staying at the resorts? You've got the wrong industry.

And sometimes there's just people there who are there on the... They've just booked a fucking holiday. I want to fucking go there, that's hilarious. Oh my god, what do they think is happening? Well, it's just, they don't read it They just see the fantastic ads It'll just say adults only It'll say something and they'll be like, oh, all-inclusive adults only Fucking brilliant And they don't realise that everyone's trying to hit on them all the time I want to go, that's our bag That's brilliant, that could have happened to us years ago Yeah, but that's why So yeah, so we've had dinner We didn't.

We've had dinner with a couple of people, and halfway through dinner, we're like, somehow coming to the conclusion that, oh, hey, these people aren't actually in the lifestyle, and then just said, would you like to carry on drinking? Let's go have, like, we've got a bottle of vodka in the room, and let's have a few drinks, put on some music, and then just chat. Knowing full well that absolutely nothing's going to happen, and it didn't happen. Really? Really? Nothing happened. I have yet to find a woman who's not. I feel we could have made it happen. Yeah. Oh, okay.

So my transition tactic was fucked, is what you're saying. Did you flirt? Well, no, I think it might just be more that you don't, like Mrs. Magrani, throw yourself at their vagina with your face. Yeah, that's probably true. No, it's always consensual, but you Thank you.

well no i think it might just be more that you don't like mrs mcgroni throw yourself at their vagina with your face yeah that's probably true no it's always consensual but you sure but like i want to start with that one i mean not usually not usually that's true yes i mean we actually we're just the same thing we just invite um we just invite people back to our house and door room and then i think pretty openly discuss I'll see you next time. Not usually. That's true. Yeah, so we actually, we're just the same thing.

We just invite people back to our house and or room and then I think pretty openly discuss what it's going to be, the options, I guess. Do you find it okay? Wait, options. Option A, the ladies take the clothes off, the men don't. Option B. I sound like this. Everyone takes their clothes off, we indulge in like petting.

Option C, we all put on masks let me just go for it but options yeah oh all right no so you're making it sound weirder than you're only trying to face out of somebody's vagina now no it's like hey let's just go hang out or you know or do you have these options on cards no or just say to somebody, hey, really interested in going back for some play. Are you guys interested? Would you like to go back and have a drink and have some fun? I love Xbox. Absolutely. You know what's hilarious is that I don't think, I don't think Kate has ever used that term, do you want to come back for some play? Okay.

Maybe once. Okay. Maybe once. How often do you say you've used that? Multiple times. You're an absolute liar. I feel like taking a poll. Who are you going like our ex shags yeah that's not you can't just go back but if you reach out to people there now they'll be thinking that you want to tell them that you've got fucking they've got gonorrhea or something um i don't i don't think you've ever invited us back for a play i'm hurt do you find the the transition easier with people that you're meeting up for the first time or like the 20th time?

Is it easier when you're on a date with a new couple to transition into play than it is with us, for example? It's more fun. Sorry. Really? Of course it is. Why is that? Because they're new. Of course it is. Because it's just nice, right? As opposed to the not nice scenario that's in front of you it's just extra it's just extra nice it's a bit of fun because you've been there before and you know what it's like sorry i know how they might feel slightly uncomfortable and it's nice making people feel at ease and just having a nice time in the end so it. So how is sex with Mr.

Negroni after so long now, since it's so comfortable and normal? It's adequate. You know him. I don't know. I didn't think it was more exciting than what I just meant. It's particularly fun when it's somebody new and you know that it's kind of their first experience. You're exploring. Yeah, you're helping them's nice.

I think, yes, it is different, but only for the fact that on a first or second date, you are not necessarily friends with these people as such, and so having an absolute sexy type relationship is basically what's on the cards versus being friends with somebody and then inviting them back home. But there's a little bit of Mrs. Nagourney's fantasy you like in here as well Mrs. Nagorny's retreat for curious women Kind of scenario Like being your perfect business Retreat for curious women That sounds like Mrs. Nagorny praying Theme it like Hogwarts It like Hogwarts. Let me touch you with my wand.

It's not exactly like Hogwarts. Which just happens to be my nose. Alright, what about transitioning from then coming back to your house to then the playrooms? You know, and by playrooms I mean bedrooms, like a normal house. Can't explore a dining table, what else? We actually have several playrooms. Yes, where do you guys only have sex? Um, Australia. We usually move to the bedroom. Yeah. We definitely start things on the sofa, but we usually move to the bedroom because the bed's just bigger. It's huge. Okay, how big is the bed? Oh, it's huge. You don't want it to be too big though.

It's double king, so it's girthy as opposed to really, really long. Sometimes it's too big and it comes impersonal, you know. You don't want it too long. I mean, people are only so long, right? But it's girthy. It's very girthy. Yeah, so how do you do that then? You're in the house and you're drinking wine and talking, and then how do you go about moving to the bedroom to play?

I usually say, so based on the kick conversation we had, I have these naked photos of you, and I've looked you up on LinkedIn so I know it would work, but if you don't come back to the legend with me right now, I'm going to send these to your employer. So you're in what we call a horrible situation, and then I just take it from there, because I'm a decent guy. You're going to go into so much trouble for that, even though it was a joke.

I can only hopel how do you do it how do i do it yeah generally i just walk downstairs with cards and say let's play a card game so you get cards well there's a reason behind that is that kate's flirtability is generally pretty low and in more than one case the people that we're with are actually confused as to whether she's into them or not i listen to the podcast i know yeah so i've experienced it oh so with with that in mind i need a way for them to understand that she in fact is interested in them and the only way that i can achieve that in many what many cases is to give her a card normally two cards are turned and then she'll just say let's go upstairs and like just like that okay this is almost like therapy now how can we break down that two card barrier from you atrociously flirting with somebody okay so i'm gonna go upstairs and i sorry i um for anyone out there who hasn't listened that's episode 84 if you want to go and learn more about flirting and the horribility That is me The horribility Yeah the horribility I've received so much shit From people From that episode Like yeah Kate you're shit at flirting Really?

You're shit at flirting Yeah Sorry Were you on that episode Which I hadn't listened to On a flirt Did you pretend to flirt On the episode? Oh they did a little It was It was diabolical It It was so good. It was horrific. It was you and friends from the US. Which friends are they? That couple next door. Yeah, they're great. You guys are great. It was very, very wonderful flirting. It was horrible. It was so bad.

Yeah, it is difficult, I guess, because unless you've got that flirting ability, then, yeah, going from the transition from the house into the bedroom is quite tough something interesting that we've discovered since then now digging into the flirting and understanding how to get kate or how to help kate flirt more is that for what she considers you know in this environment it's quite a sexy environment right they've already they've already no your kitchen is not particularly sexy are you calling my pajamas unsexy you know swinging environment you're already at the point where you're where you're if you're in the same house there's a chance that there's something else going on there right an undercurrent let's call it an undercurrent even in a non-swinging environment, that's always true, but go on.

So... I think that's where I get into trouble, to be honest. Yeah. Let's call it an undercurrent. Even in a non-swing environment, that's always true, but gone. So you... I think that's where I get into trouble, to be honest. Family reunions. So there is this undercurrent that's there, right?

And I think my reaction to that is typically to actually engage with people and become more overt in the flirting and sometimes more sexual in the flirting as well you're not even that licking your lipstick are you no good just the top no wait just the bottom line whereas um where i think kate tends to continue the same flirting scenario that she was occupying out at a club which doesn't involve touching their junk or asking them to get their boobs out you know um and look if somebody says no then that's okay but there's no harm in asking it's true i know in the correct time and place yes yeah yeah so you're saying kate's flirting isn't it's not a no when you get into a sexy situation she continues with the same flirting style that she has been up until then which is actually fairly low level flirting anyway and she doesn't step it up a notch to to you know to actually engage more and get things more sexual in the flirting we have wasted this entire holiday just saying you and i could have oh yeah um you're told i touched my junk it's fine go right ahead Yeah, it it's not fine at all You see, no, no, see how this She's so fucking disturbed by this right now Yeah, but equally we've all been very sick and stuff as well We have, it's been like fucking Dresden in here, it's been terrible Yeah, you did infect us with whatever shit you were across from Singapore Thanks for that, it's lingered I've been picturing Florence Nightingale walking up and down the hall swinging a wham There's a reason I'm in my jammies at what time is it?

Six o'clock. It's rare you encounter consumption in the 21st century, but here we are. Anyway, Mr. Negroni, how do you take it to the bedroom to close us out on transitions? It's never you that does it. It's rarely me. It's rarely you. So you absolutely, do you rely on Mrs. Negroni? No. It just happens faster. I'm like happens faster. One thing we all know to be true is never rely on Mrs. Negroni. Good point. No, I would be very direct. There's a couple of times where we've had dates around our house for dinner and stuff like that. And we're now sitting around having drinks.

And I just said, right, well, I'm going wants to come like that direct you actually did ask us that once i don't know whether you remember yeah we went you said no i didn't yes no that's sorry you start with drinks well but there's probably already been some level of kissing touching or you know foot stroking or whatever at the dining table because we tend to be part of it which i think is the flirty that's what the flirty bit is missing like the touching of feet and the you know inappropriate sort of uh leg under the table sort of touching somebody's leg and yeah well i like how this podcast has turned into a kate's shit flirting again two episodes later we should let that go um sometimes i just come through and miss in the Negroni's underwear and say who wants to spank me of being a bad boy not true either what normally happens is yeah I think generally it's it's a comfortable thing if it's two if it's two couples so if it's male female male female I think the females cuddling up or touching or kissing tends to be the first kind of step because there's nothing wrong with kind of getting close on the couch and a little snuggling and whatever else and then that tends to start off.

Plus the men are usually busy talking to a sport or making something out of wood. Metal, thank you very much. Okay. So basically it's yourself and then moving things forward. Not always. I agree So there was, so one thing I really liked relatively recently was we had just a single lady round And we knew kind of what was on the cards because there'd been lots and lots of group flirting and things beforehand So it's been building up for quite a long time And she came round for dinner and before we even served dinner Mr.

Negroni leaned over and just kissed her full on and went, right, well, we've got that out the way now. Okay. And then, yeah, so that was, that's not. And then we still sat down to dinner and sat and had our wine and talked and everything else like that, but that first kind of thing had been broken and then. Oh, yeah, I mean, I can feel the sploosh from here. I straightened my bow tie and went about my business.

All right, Daryl, to close it out, anything else to add before we move on to um mr and mrs negroni picking up a single lady at a bar recently and bringing it home no excellent i've got one thing i know i've already added one thing it's the whole transitioning thing is this is this a big topic for generally the community do you think people are um confused and awkward about this people are very confused and awkward because they don't know how to do it.

And I think the biggest thing is much as it's also very awkward, I honestly think that the most direct, not direct, forceful, and aggressive, but I think the most direct, hey, put your cards on the table, this is what we're me or I'm interested in.

Yes, but that's fine and dandy if it's not a sideswipe like where you haven't been engaged with them which is the the problem that i face with you out with other couples is that i'm sitting there thinking that you're either uninterested or not wanting to engage with them on that night or whatever and then all of a sudden you're like let's take it to the bedroom and i'm like fuck oh so you're not having a chance to communicate with each other you can't read each other well no in in this particular what once we get back to the bed back to the house it becomes a bit of a problem because there's no there's been no lead up to it and then i have to send well we still communicate but it's generally via text message because that's the only way that we can fucking do it with while other people are around you know what do you think question mark how many times how many times have you received that from me you should try something question nobody understands semaphore and you could do it right in front of them with the flags um so don't well one you should probably come up with some sort of signal right and time on your earlobe or something actually the signal the signal would just be better if there were engagement up front and it was more obvious that somebody was interested but she's already invited them home what more do you want well that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to shag them well no that's true well depending on how the invitation was phrased which is what she just said the same time, honestly, are you telling me you have people around your house and you can't steal away for two minutes into the kitchen to help her choose a bottle of wine or whatever it is you're doing or help me get the cheese board out or just have two seconds with your head in the fridge just quickly talking?

I mean, it's not that hard, right? It's not a big bond of orchestration. I'm not the only person who's missing out on this tidbit of information. True, but at least if the two of you are on the same page, then at least you know how you're playing it, right? But it sounds like at the moment you're just connected to this issue. It's a big issue. It's a big issue. Alright, cool. Shall we take a drink break and then come back with your story about picking up a chick at a bath? Let's do that. Alright, good stuff. Welcome back.

Carry on, aren't you doing some sort of intro song about sleeping chicks in bars? Okay, cool. Welcome back to the next segment. What we're going to talk about now is when Mr. and Mrs. Negroni recently picked up a chick in a bar in their local city. A fun night is had by old movies swiftly on. Let's just start at the beginning. Where were you? in a local city. A fun night is had by old, moving swiftly on. Let's just start at the beginning. Where were you? It's a very good place to start. Where were you? In a local bar that is not known for its... Waning list. Or interesting people. Wow.

What do you mean? We're in a posh suburb on the lower north shore of Sydney, where a bar is, let's just say it's trying moderately hard, but it's's got a captive audience there was a gaggle of women in their active wear at eight o'clock on a friday night friday night drinking a bottle of rosette i mean i think you're being anti anti-alcoholic judgy right now uh-huh yes yeah no no that's all i was just making a statement more than anything else you're correct yeah meanwhile we couldn't, we couldn't get a seat. It said bar. So we sat at the bar, which is our favorite place to sit. Yes.

Because you get to flirt with the barman. No, but you do get to flirt with the barman if you sit at the bar. You should never pass up that opportunity. You get to talk to the barman about alcohol, which sometimes results in free drinks. Secret tip. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. We'll keep that in mind. Be interested in all the spirits and minds that they're pouring.

And chances are, they'll and open something new Exciting and share it with you So moving right along to where you picked up Some strange random chick Was it one of the women in their active wear Goodness no Although they were incredibly interested In the whole proceeding from start to finish Is that because Mrs. Negroni Stuck her tongue down the young lady's throat At some point during the evening No front of all She did however show us her boobs in the bar Oh No sorry not boobs One boob Do boobs come in anything other than a set of boobs Well she still had To but she only showed us one Ah.

That's not good behaviour in a bar. I'm just saying that's not acceptable. Getting your tits out is not a good behaviour general in a bar, though. No. Point is, we weren't looking for anything. We were sitting at the bar, and then another single lady who was very attractive also sat down at the bar, and we smiled and said hello and then fell to chatting, as happens when a single single lady enters a bar or indeed actually anyone sits at the bar because you tend to talk to couples or whoever else is sitting at the bar. Does she sit right next to you? Uh no she's not one seat away. Okay.

As you would it's like um guys losing your arms. You don't go the one right next to you. You leave space and you've got the one right next to you. Plus you needed to leave a space for service at the bar because it's quite a small bar. Okay So, yes, she sat there, and then eventually, we kind of all ended up sitting next to each other and generally chatting. She did the same sort of job as me. She was on a very stressful project. She'd just had her hair done locally, but she was from another suburb further up. That's why she was in the bar. And she had a mean boyfriend. And she did.

She'd just broken up with her mean boyfriend. Really? Yes.

Who'd been body shaming her which is what led to the boobs out of the bar after much much later after many many drinks was her saying he said my boobs were saggy they're not saggy which they weren't in any way they were beautiful but he'd been quite nasty to her in that respect so yes and we felt we had to redress that balance quite frankly we felt duty bound to do it so obviously over the course of drinks and chatting about work and life and relationships and all the rest of it it one assumes came out what we do um lifestyle wise um and so after many cocktails and wines and such had been consumed um we offered to continue drinking At our place She managed to fair out our secret When you said hey we sleep with women Yeah It's kind of shady So yes but that transition Was the case of me saying Hey do you want to just come back and drink some more Doesn't mean anything at all It's all fine So we're always exceptionally Vigilant with single women Coming back to the house And I always sort of say hey Thank you.

at all it's all fine yeah so we're always is exceptionally i don't know vigilant with that's true women coming back to the house and i always sort of say hey does someone know who you are and this is our address and you want to text them oh that's nice yeah no i always do that because that's a good tip you know so they feel very safe when you're asking them politely yep yep that's fine so we came back and we had some drinks and you had something to smoke yeah so we had a few drinks and um mr negroni was already three sheets to the wind at this point and and then she suggested smoking a massive massive joint so we did that and then um i distinguished myself by falling asleep on the couch which is actually a bit of a go-to move for you either either pre-orgasm or shortly post yeah all right don't jump on it too quickly you fuckface who paid for the bill did you pay for her drinks no no no maybe who knows no i think she paid for some of hers and then when we started drinking together it probably became a bit more of a split affair i seem to remember her existing on paying for all the tequila stuff okay that's good and it wasn't really about that obviously there wasn't enough food had which is always a pity at these things because we just got out for a drink and a light snack and i don't know so that's that that's our story of picking up a chicken a bar but well i i think um i think she had a very nice time she certainly confirmed that um via text um that night and then also because i made sure she got home safe in the uber having put her into an uber and got her to text me when she got home and then the next morning she said yes we were delightful and what a lovely evening it was and that's that so it was nice to just get that confirmation at the end of the evening that everything was lovely just a pity there was a grunting farting snoring whale on the couch so aside from missing a groony falling asleep on the couch did you actually play with her uh yes and how did she identify um well i don't remember um but i don't remember asking her directly um i don't think she was necessarily by if it was open to um suggestion as i tend to find most women are totally sweeping statement i'm sure there'll be lots of comments on that but generally when women find other people attractive they're kind of fluid yeah um so no she was lovely um she really wanted to have a shower because she'd been at work all day so first of all she wanted to have a shower so did the poor lady have to shower by herself she did because of the bathroom yes it's not a great bathroom in the new property that we live in now, so it's not really a double shower.

I've fixed it. I watched and held a nice fluffy towel, so she was... But you would have. You would have actually showered with her. Oh, absolutely. If it had been possible and there was a room, yes, we'd have done that. And then I took her through to the bedroom and, you know, this is my usual magic based on what Mr. Nogurney remembers hearing from the line room. So from my perspective, imagine being in an inky, deep, dark, black sleep and then slowly, slowly drifting up to consciousness and just hearing sounds coming from another part of the house that are not usual sounds.

They're familiar sounds, but they're not everyday he sings. And then once again thinking, that's good.

As you fall back into the dark dark blackness on the couch so i think she had a nice time that was my experience at the end so so actually very similar to any sexual experience you have wow set it up and knock it down well i i think apart from having a little bit too much to drink and not remembering enough of it i think it was lovely and it was very positive because she came away obviously feeling a bit more body positive than she had been yeah i just thought she was phenomenally attractive and looked amazing in the shower and we had a nice time together and i put her in a can and said goodbye she was kick-ass sure was that we um we the first woman that she played with you know yes she said that oh good we.

We should message her. Ashley, what the fuck are we doing this for? Yes, we could. Podcast, schmodcast, let's give her a call. I kind of got the feeling it wasn't, I think the magic in that night was it being a one-off night. I don't think that's necessarily something to perceive.

I think sometimes you need to know when it's the stars aligned, everything came together, that was what she needed at one point in time and it was lovely and it all worked And I don't think Necessarily phoning her up And saying let's do it again Was the right way to go Yeah So again Like I said Message to make sure She was home safe Message in the morning Say thanks very much For a lovely night Thought you had an amazing body She replied in kind And that was lovely And I left it at that I suppose if she wants To catch up with you again She'll message you She has our number And that's fine But equally I wouldn't expect it necessarily to be her thing Because that's not really where she plays So she's obviously, you know Wants to have a relationship with a particular man And move on that way But she had a bit of fun that night, hopefully So I think our point is Hit on chicks in bars, they love it Yeah, and also I got to keep her underwear because she forgot it that's a little bit weird uh super weird second second time i've kept someone's underwear super duper weird it's like not on purpose it's just one of those trinkets that gets left behind like teenage man Sort of a scenario where you hang it on the doorknob To prove that you got laid That's not how it works at all It just happened to me and she left without it That's like serial killer territory right It's like they left behind their trinkets Mmm I love them So the interesting thing about this is though That's not the first time that's happened to you two right Like you've picked up at bars Either couples or singles I wouldn't say frequently but like a number of times Over the past couple of years no Thank you.

The first time that's happened to you two, right? Like, you've picked up at bars either couples or singles. No, I wouldn't say frequently, but, like, a number of times over the past couple of years, no? A couple of times. Yeah, it's been a couple of times. A couple of times? I don't know what times you're a couple of times. Now, in all seriousness, who do you think typically drives this picking up at bars? I mean, not instigates, but drives it. Hang on. Mrs. Negroni probably drives it. We don't go out to bars looking to do that.

No incidental i i usually um notice but um miss negroni tends to drive it and and how does she back to the transition things here how does it typically get driven because i think it takes some fairly overt interactions to get somebody to the point where as a single person you're going to take them home you think that much you're a single person in a bar and a couple who are sitting at the bar say to you hey how you doing how's your night yeah but how do you go from hey how you doing what has your night been and standard conversation into let's go home for potential play because we don't live in the 1940s anymore i mean if if we lived in the 1940s that would have just been a general question in a bar Thank you.

into let's go home for potential play because we don't live in the 1940s anymore i mean if if we lived in the 1940s that would have just been a general question in a bar hey how are you oh good i'm glad you had a nice evening whereas um nowadays it's very much a question of um you're a person in a bar we're people in a bar want to bump uglies you will generally instigate more conversation either with the person at the bar or the bartender or through the bartender with the person at the bar because the bartender's quipping to the other person and you laugh as well and suddenly there's a connection so honestly people top tip sit at the bar don't sit at a table sit at the bar pay attention listen to what's going on and that's not a pool tactic it's just i've always found the best things happen at the bar even if i'm just out for work and i want to just chat to the bartender it's a much more interesting engaging experience to sit up in the bar than it is to sit at a table yeah on your own or as a couple so we sit at the bar we were in london recently and we were out having some cocktails in a lovely bar and again talking to the bartender talking about different cocktails and there was a single guy sitting next to us who was about to be out on a tinder date so he started talking about the fact that and he was about to be out on a tinder date and what he's looking for and she he was quite early and she was a little bit late and so there was about what an hour i guess right where we were just kind of telling him to put a just a huge dildo in her drink and then you didn't realize but she he texted that yes we were joking and laughing beside him and said put a huge dildo in her drink and then she turned up and said oh you're the dildo lady well um yeah i agree i think the bar is a great place to engage but it kind of goes back to the whole standing up thing too a bar not only is high high chairs versus like sitting at a low table i think the same can be said on being on a date where you stand up around a table in having tappers and engaging rather than sitting in a lower table i think you can engage a little bit more if you're standing or mingling that way it kind of leads into the fact that i mean at the end of the day your expectations are friendship and if anything else goes further than fucking great yeah right yeah pretty much yes i never i never go to a bar going going alright I'm gonna score I'm gonna look at every single woman that's in the place or every single guy that's in the place and try and sit next to them if you were to use the phrase I'm going to go out and score a woman I think I would probably drop dead on my that's a good time to transition yeah let's transition let's let's come back and have a very quick bedroom let's transit yes later let's Let's transition and come back to a very quick...

Still eating cheese. This is the wrong time to transition yeah let's transition let's uh let's come back and have a very quick bedroom let's transition yes later let's transition and come back to a very cheap we got a long time to transition it's all about timing people we're gonna come back and we're gonna talk about the mansplaining vaginas and what that really mean. It's quite a big segment, but we're back. Crazy vagina lady. My book. Yep.

Crazy vagina lady Needs some clues from a man Doesn't know what's down there Needs a bit of a hand Then the men help out Everything is clear Because that's pretty Seriously, what are you guys talking about? Because of mansplaining You've only got three minutes You made your quick verbatim and you're fucking out What are you doing? Mr. Mansplainer Welcome back to the mansplaining segment I think we're paused, did we not?

That's going to actually be our lead in now ouch yep so in the car in the car there was uh the other day we were driving out because i drunkenly left my phone in an uber and so we were driving out to pick up i i um kate left my phone in the uber oh she's apologized for this hundred times leave it alone it was me i did it i just need to explain here this because people are going to think that i'm the arse out here the reason i'm being as like annoying about this is because i got verbally fucking accosted saying that i had left the phone in the car to be fair we drunk a lot yeah so what happened was i i stupidly left my phone in the uber that was my fault i'm the only person that is responsible for that 100%.

Why did you drop your phone, Kate? Well, you see, Mr. Negroni was... You were jerking him off from the back of a car. I wasn't jerking him off from the back of the Uber. You were jerking him off. I will not accept that at all. Anyway. I have nothing to add. No comment.

So we're driving out, and I don't know how we get on on the topic of mansplaining vaginas but there was a comment and i think daryl i think you might have made a comment about vaginas and then mr negruni advised you that mansplaining vagina is probably not the fucking way to go and then we decided to create this segment and now you've both got to come up with some funny quips about mansplaining vaginas on the podcast wait we what no yeah easy don't okay thank you mr. Negrini Daryl your counter don't yeah I feel like there's an alignment great I'm entirely neutral like the pH of the vagina.

Neutral and the pH of a vagina. A healthy vagina. A healthy vagina. Dara, your counter? Don't. Yeah, that's an echo. Like the echo in a massive vagina. I feel like we're going around in circles here. Yeah. So what about women-splaining vaginas though? That's, you know, do we talk about the states of their vaginas to one another? Yes, they do. They do. I don't. I'd like to say you're the only woman that I talk to about it. Also, I just want to throw it out a little bit. The pH of a healthy vagina is not neutral. It's slightly acidic. Ah, slightly acidic. Thank you. Mansplaining a vagina.

Nailed it. I have to say, I don't know. I haven't really paid attention, because you don't eat, you know what's good about. So, yes. Alright, Mr. Negroni, how does their vagina work, sir? Have you... Oh, I've got no idea. I've barely even seen one. I'm not engaging with that topic at all, but... Let's see. Mr. Negroni. Yes. Actually, here's a good question. So, oftentimes on social media or other platforms, you'll see a lot of women talking about the whole labia minora, labia majora, everything else, you know. Yeah. extraordinarily vast experience of many different kinds of vaginas.

We only have lost antias. Twelve. Yeah. I mean, have you found, what do you think the difference is? It's a very interesting question, Kate. And let me put it to you that I will answer that question, force right, if you tell me why you've put brackets around the words episode 86 in your notebook.

Is it because you're now not sure whether this is actually going to be an episode or not no i just doodle so you just doodle already everybody out there listening i do have a notebook where i like add notes and it just feels like quite a specific doodle no it's because um because she's not sure whether it's episode 86 or stardate 97.

no let's not go back to that that was a disaster they're all marvelous i mean some are larger and some are smaller and more petite but um generally speaking they're all pretty fucking good i i i don't care how do you feel about penises are they bad i think we should stay on top of your vaginas because it's where i feel most comfortable yeah that is true let's Let's face it, people. Yes, let's face it, vagina. God, why are you asking me? You're the fucking scholar. No, I spent most of my time down there. So I think it's interesting, there's so many different shapes and sizes and the rest of it.

Yeah, I think it's great.

I think the whole exhibition at Mona almost does it justice with regards to the different shapes and textures and things that are coming out there with flurry bits and not flurry bits and all very retained and other bits are more protruding and but it's all one lovely thing so i i think it's upsetting that there are some people who feel that they need to get trimmed and shaped and tucked and whatever to face a model that's not remotely i think we're remotely normal in any way i think we have to be careful about that i think we have to be careful about that though because a person's image of what they're what they want their vagina to look like or their penis for that matter does not necessarily fit any expected norm and with that in mind what they have currently may not fit what they believe is the expected norm now the reason i bring that up is basically because if Kate hadn't have been able to meet that with surgical means with her breast augmentation then she would still be very unhappy with the fact that she didn't believe she looked like a woman so I think we've got to be careful here that we don't also not careful I mean if people make changes because they feel it's necessary for them rather than they feel it's necessary to fit in with society then so be it i think that's perfectly okay but i don't think it's okay for people to be shamed to the point where they do it because they feel like they they need to fit a stereotypical norm which let's let's be honest in this particular case it's what we see in porn you know that's that's what people are trying to to aspire to but in a lot of cases now porn porn stars vaginas are not that traditional norm you know everything everything tucked in with their nothing being exposed that's not what porn stars vaginas look like anymore either i think people are becoming even more appropriate in terms of what they're doing with porn to make it look more real porn's not real at all you know it's a fiction i hate to hear that anyone would feel they're doing a bad thing to make themselves feel better no you're right i didn't mean it was no, I know you didn't.

I feel it's a pity people feel that they need to in order to conform to a norm. I've never seen a vagina that I don't think is beautiful. It's like a rose, right? They're all different shapes and sizes and, you know, some of them are small and don't have many leaves and some of them are beautiful and open and blossomy and I don't know, they're just beautiful.

So I don don't think there's any need i feel the same about penises yeah well they do actually look a lot more like a rose than a vagina hey uh mr negroni especially if they've still got the foreskin on can you just leave us in with a lovely uh mansplaining vagina song before i read some i want to talk about some amazing vagina facts that we should all know and quiz you put me on the spot.

Yeah, absolutely fucking man's playing vagina She is It's full of cocaine Probably shouldn't go there Thank you so much Well, let's keep it keep it going we should probably leave but let's make another day because you never know excellent thank you you're welcome I'm gonna keep my best work I'm gonna I'm just there's 20 facts about vaginas in front of me that I'm gonna randomly ask questions around the table about you ready if mrs.

Negroni is ready to just lean back there could be 22 facts about the John is in front of you okay for starters you're probably not using the right word right thank you very much I mean we're gonna high five yeah it's It's just become a colloquialism, right? Actually, it says it's a colloquialism, so good for you. Yeah, we're going to high five. Okay. We're so internet ready. Let me see. What's the internet? The fuck is the internet? It's a podcast. Why would somebody say that their clitoris is more like a penis than you realize?

Because it's massive and tumescent erect and also it's it's a grouping of similar nerve endings as it is with a penis the tip of a penis fuck I'm turned on by your knowledge about this sorry the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and the penis has 4,000. Mine's not. Mine's got at least 7,000. Okay, good. It does. What happens as you, does anything happen? What happens if anything does happen when you get older? Do your vagina. Does it? I don't want to do your vagina.

Okay, so vaginas start, vaginas, vaginas generally start life as an innie and during puberty they tend to um either change to an outie or remain an innie i mean it can happen either way from there on they typically get darker you're talking about belly buns no they typically get darker as you go into your 30s and 40s. Like in colour or more evil? Darker in colour. they typically get darker um as you go into uh the 30s or evil darker and on mrs negroni probably a little more evil and then um generally post uh post post menopausal um they typically lighten in colour and become more full.

Okay, so the uterus is pulled upwards, which changes the position of the cervix, allowing the vagina to become longer as you get older. Oh, sorry, you were talking about the vagina. You know, two-thirds of the vagina acts differently. And, yes, your vagina does actually, your labia do increase in size as you get older as well. So that's something to look forward to. And change colour. I thought that was just fat. No. Really? I thought it was just colour booze. Mr. Negroni, what percentage of women would climax from vaginal penetration? With me? Oh, no! Oh, shit. No. Not a single one.

Um, I'm gonna... I'm gonna throw out there a 30%. 35%. Holy shit, that was dead on balls accurate. High four. Except for all the women that I surround myself with who all seem to be able to do a drop of a hat, which is really annoying. But there's having an orgasm and then there's having an orgasm, right? That's true. My clitoral orgasms do rock.

uh why mrs negroni why is your um vagina self-cleaning because i don't put anything else up there you put a penis there occasionally i mean that's a pretty black and white response i mean you gotta actually handle she's incredibly efficient and if it wasn't she'd give it a horrible performance review okay so it says the lining of the vagina is made up of various glands that release fluids designed to cleanse and lubricate if you use soap it will interfere with the vagina's natural flora which can upset your body's ph balance which we just discussed though they should be slightly acidic 3.5 to 4.6 3.5 to 4.6 is it that is actually quite acidic yeah you know's a kill-off semen.

Yeah. The ones that don't make it, the ones that aren't powerful and strong enough to swim. Filthy semen. Darrell, can you mansplain Kegels to us? The Kegel exercise is an exercise which is the pelvic floor exercise to top – it's supposedly designed to tighten the vagina.

But recently over the last maybe six to twelve months what has been um understood is that the kegel exercise does really do not a lot for um for tightening the vagina but it does do something to help ladies post childbirth with um their sometimes bladder control yeah but it's not it's not so there's a whole discussion around weighted kegels right now and there's no proof at all around weighted kegels being of any particular benefit to improving your pelvic floor in terms of your vaginal strength but you're still going to borrow mine anyway yes i'm still I'm still borrowing your kegels.

They're not kegels. Oh, sorry, they're... They're Benoit balls, which is a totally different thing. Benoit balls are designed to make you horny, not make your kegels better. Okay, all right, thank you.

And by the way, men can also do kegels, and it's highly recommended for men because the prostate as far as a lot of people concerned is not entirely in control of your urinary tract in fact your your kegel exercises will actually help that along the way i'm doing it right now yeah and and a man can do them i'm doing them also i think i've also been everyone who is now listening is doing them just go oh yeah oh yeah. Yeah, lecture kegels. A man can do it as well. It's also quite helpful for keeping a man erect as well, just FYI.

Yes, actually since you started talking about them, I've been sitting here doing them as well. So kegels. All right. Since you started talking about keeping a man erect. What about Stevie Cat, do you think she's doing them as well? Yes. No. She is. Mrs. Negroni, have you ever heard of Pink Balls? No, but that's not a surprise really mr. Negroni have you ever heard of pink balls no oh wait is it like blue balls but for a chick yes but why why because um men are rubbish i concur with mr.

Negroni so it is estimated that 47 percent of women actually feel the pink balls, which, yes, are similar to a man's blue balls, and most women actually don't know what is the cause of it, but oftentimes they mistake it for an STI or an infection, but like the male equivalent, there's nothing dangerous about it.

I would like to attest to the fact that blue balls exist because I have gotten to the point many times in my life where i am in serious motherfucking pain to going to the doctor pain because i haven't had sex in a while sorry but you've masturbated no no so when we're talking sorry that's a lie so when we're talking about that's not true when we're talking about a constant arousal scenario without a without a finish you get to the point where and i've researched this because i wanted to know what the fuck it is the vestigial um muscles that were used to lift your testicles back into your body when you were a ground dwelling four-legged animal are still there hence why they're called vestigial they unfortunately because they're not designed now to lift the weight that we have, and they're quite small.

And if you over-exercise those through being aroused for a long period of time, you actually effectively get cramps in those muscles, which, let me tell you, fucking hurts. It's interesting, because Mr. Negroni actively seeks that out. Really? You like a sore set of testicles? Yeah. He likes a lot of teasing but how long are we talking over here because this... So far about eight years. Oh, he takes that back. I take that back. I shouldn't even have said that, oh there's so much fucking trouble. It's not even been like 12 hours. There goes the next eight years. Don't make it so fucking easy.

Come on, that was easy. Okay, let's wrap up Mansplaining Vagina with some slang terms. So each of you, going to go around the circle. Oh, this is going to go. This is going to happen for a while. I don't think it will. No, I'm going to run out quite quickly.

That mean okay so i'm only gonna go i'm gonna go mr negroni mrs negroni and then daryl and then you each have to go and then we're gonna stop and then we're gonna finish the podcast is everybody ready i was born ready okay uh mr negroni let's slang so let's just establish up front though i cannot be judged for the job the disgustosity that i'm about Yeah, you can be judged, harsh can be judged the reason is that I sat beside a girl at university and we wrote on the table all the names we could think of she wrote all the names she could think of for penis and we did this over a full semester so a third of a year did you engrave it into the table yeah of course what year did you go to university so So she wrote all of the names, all of the names for a penis and I wrote all the names for a vagina.

We ended up with 200 and something different, because I started asking people for names, 200 plus names for a vagina. Did you sleep with her? No. I know, I feel he was missing a trick there. I feel that was like from some early university work. We didn't transition very well, darling. No, no. Alright, so, general word for... So hold on, so everybody play at home. Play at home. How many can you get? Okay. Okay. Mrs. McGrooney, go. Clunge. Flour. Flour. Bleeding axe wound. Bussy. Pussy. Hunt. Twat. Twat. Minge. Minge. You're done? All right. V-dub bonnet. Okay. Um. Which I don't like. Peach.

What do you mean to me? No, no, it's Mr. Negroni's time. Yeah, I know, I'm helping him out. Safe repository for my purple-headed womb ferret. No, you're still here. All right, you're all pretty shit. It's Vajayjay, Vajay. Whoa, I'm not finished. No, you're done. No, I'm not. You're the winner. Yeah.

you're you're all pretty sure this vajay jay vag whoa whoa i'm not finished you know you're done no i'm not you're the winner oh okay but i still have more yeah i just think i just included the phrase purple that's that cooch coochie cuda coos cozy gash hole muff flange minge box quim poontang, purse, flood, no, so fud is a Scottish term, why don't you know that? It is, fud is, yeah. Nether regions, lady gardens, girly bits, private parts. You missed beef curtains. Name of your sex tape. I'm sorry, flower wasn't on there.

Mosty clef, hot box, squeak box, vertical smile, cha-cha, love tunnel, cherry, beaded clam, furry taco, tuna taco, fur burger, cream pie, beef curtains, meat curtains, meat sleeve, hair pie, honeypot, beaver, pussy, kitty, rat, pantry hamster. Oh my gosh! Pantry hamster! Hang on. None of us even said pussy. That's hilarious. I said pussy. Did you? Pantry hamster is not my fucking favorite. Holy shit! Privates, private hearts, bits down there. Peach, flower, kitty, tutu, wee wee.e, No-No, Cookie, Muffin, Cupcake, Teenie, Fanny, Front Butt, Woo-Hoo, Fee-Fee. No-No, that's upsetting.

That's just weird. Wow, I think that was a lovely note to finish on. If anybody ever says don't touch my no-no, your response should be, yeah, I won't. Yes, yes. So yeah, so thank you very much to the Negronis for joining us. You're welcome. Episode maybe 86. You can catch the Negronis on Twitter if you just look for our Twitter and then see that we've tagged them constantly or they are at Negronicake on Twitter. Yeah. You're my Twitter sheath. Twitter pussy. Great.

So, thanks very much for joining us everyone hope you enjoyed that and yeah daryl any other things thoughts comments questions remarks just apologies for the uh for the axe wound comment um you know i know this is going to come up somewhere but it's i did i did provide caveat up front and i'm i'm apologetic if you didn't like it just stop listening to the podcast and please don't send me an email to tell me how horrible I am stop listening to the podcast yes if you're upset you should stop listening to the podcast can you please stop getting people to stop listening to the podcast that was that wasn't the grannies, that was transitions that was picking up at a bar and that was mansplaining vaginas, thank you so much guys That was Negronies, that was Transitions, that was Picking Up at a Bar, and that was Mansplaining Vaginas.

Thank you so much, guys.