P78 – My Best Friends are Swingers!

Transcript

you're listening to swinging down under podcast about the swinging non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained informed angry happy and horny join our international swinging adventures and welcome i'm c crazy female australian sheila and believer of all things love balance and sexy times and this is d i'll be doing my best to keep the dad jokes to a minimum which is probably going to be highly unlikely along with that i'll keep c and check where i can did i mention i'm a pilot we'll be your podcast host for today so sit back and enjoy the sweet sweet melodies right for everybody out there thank you that's the one thank you very much feeding me nourishing me it's everybody out there in podcast land we're currently sitting here with cheese and wine so you may very well hear cheese and wine being consumed masticating all the bones deal with it uh what do you guys want to be called actually because we called you belays for four years where are you at we haven't been climbing for years so that's not what an accurate what do you want to be called they don't know just fat belays mr and mrs wino yeah alcoholics yeah all right we're here with uh mr and mrs alcoholic no I don.

Alcoholics. Yeah. All right. We're here with Mr. and Mrs. Alcoholic. No, no. Wino, I think. Wino, Sam. We're not alcoholics. Mr. Alcoholic, Mrs. Wino. Yeah. Good point. Okay. Call us Riesling and Cabernet. You've got the right way for us, Max Bottom. That's what I do know. So, it's true, Chris. So, today we're going to talk about a few things. We're going to talk a little bit about friendship and the lifestyle later. But before we get started, I have a few things that are little sneaky squirrel things. Like this envelope right here that couldn't be opened until we're podcasting.

Similar to the fucking awesome itinerary that I handed everybody today. This has been thrust upon us. What are you? Who are you? You're Mr. What now? I can't even remember anymore. I don't even remember. Can you give me a favour? Can you read this out loud, including the top section, everything on the page? Can you please read that out loud? indoor climbers as well we're assuming you go to climb fit being based in Crow's Nest. He's more experienced than me, and quite frankly, I'm still getting over fear of heights. But I give Ian Bertha to go every now and then at CF. You dirty monkey.

Your profile is great. I know. Really refreshing to hear about a couple that clearly just lost spending time together confession i'm her serious coffee addict stuck in meetings all day does that retrench from the no drama policy ha smiley face we are fairly new to last stop being on been on only for a few months, yeah, I get it, I read it badly. What, from the beginning you made? And I've met a couple or two from RHP, mmm, saucy minks. It's been a lot of fun, has it though, has it really?

We're based in Mosman, so only a short skip and a jump, it would be great to catch up for a drink espresso martini anyone and see how we go as you say if friendship is the only thing crazy then that's a big thumbs up too as you guys seem like fun kiss kiss c and d well that's just lovely quite frankly not anybody anybody in this whole lifestyle community whatever whatever you want to call it, who got that, would be filled with the joys of spring and reply in a like-minded fashion. So, from C&D Swing, date 3rd of August 2015. Hey guys, thanks for finally responding.

It's fine points for retyping rather than just moving on. You guys sound similar and so much fun. We'd love to arrange a catch-up. C's phone is if you want to let us know when you're free. Oh, and here's our gallery to Chatsune C&D. So, how do you feel about history? May, March, March 2000, Chatsune, C and D. So, how do you feel about that history? May, March, March 2015? People got shit to do when I was awkward. We were watching TV and playing video games and stuff, you know. Did you realize we say in our profile that we're really fucking busy? Yeah. At work. So, you know.

And did you realize it had been that long no no i barely registered month passing to be fair in fairness i don't do any of the messaging or scrolling through people i let him do all of that and then bring me a short list sorry mr cabernet oh wow oh so now it comes to the front because we actually thought that you turned us down, but in fact, it sounds like you turned us down. And now... No, that's not true. And now you're stepping on a plane to come visit us in Singapore. Bring all the love in your hearts and the presence under your bed. No, no.

He presented you as a shortlist and i took one like look and went wow too slim too pretty too attractive never want to get an excellent surprise never never going to do that now i should tell you yep not doing fake news fake news i keep fake news strikes again but did you realise it had been that long since 2015? No. But I used... Since we first caught up, 2015. Oh, sorry, since we first caught up. Yeah. My three years, so yeah, probably. Yeah, sure, that's cool. I thought you meant that I realised it had been that long. Between messages? I said that I lived it three months before backlining.

No, but then that's not uncommon there's another envelope yeah podcast listeners there's another envelope being brandished in a threatening manner in our general direction in front of us um we have a few questions here and these questions actually started from the We Got A Thing community and I put up on the podcast that we are, please stop making wanking gestures. I thought not. I put up that we were interviewing our oldest lifestyle friends and people had some questions. Let me get something to put back in. Oh, yeah, like we need a hat or a bowl.

So we have about what or so questions in front of us. And these come from people that wanted to know about the relationship, the friendship, which will lead itself into the podcast we're going to talk about a little bit later. And so you get to pick these out and each of the names that are are on them you can use them because we have permission to talk about them. Why are you scratching them in balls to make them easier to pick out? It's easier to pick out balls than it is, you know, slipflaps. Flaps. Sorry, I was trying to actually point the flaps. So the questions came up from the place.

Yes, yes. Okay, so listeners' names are on here and we're cool to read them out. And they're fine for you to read them out and then you have to, so if you would like to take one first. Can we, you guys, can we have a second question? Miss Chardonnay first. Mr. Chardonnay and Miss Chardonnay? I don't know yet. That sounds all right. She's definitely not so long. From Mrs.

Loving Life, just like in a marriage or other long-term relationship what keeps the spark or the excitement of this ls relationship going oh good question lifestyle relationship consuming oh wow nailed it being a bit shit in the lifestyle and the lingo um so mrs loving life I think it's because we don't take ourselves or each other too seriously, we really are just friends who enjoy the same things.

We enjoy food and we enjoy wine and we enjoy each other's company and we enjoy bad movies and playing nintendo switch and just hanging out together and same as in a marriage or another long-term relationship if you're with your friend already then why would that stop why did you do the fisting work and they're all making horrible like sexual gestures and that's all. Ultimately, it's not about that. It's not about, it's not like why the sex was amazing and so that it's not about why the sex was amazing so this is what we're going to keep coming back for.

If the sex was amazing but you guys didn't like food or wine or any of the things that we did and we had nothing else to talk about, it would be hollow for us. So for us, it's never been about just that. That made me like, I'm really turned on right now. But it's always for us been about friendship and just feeling comfortable more than anything else. So I think it is the same as in a marriage or long-term relationship. Once you've found your kind of other haves or kind of soulmates in that respect, you're always just going to have fun. Yep, I agree.

If you don't like each other and get on and think everything's awesome, you're fine. That's bleak. You took that from me. It's true. I mean, everything else is... Kind I have a piece of the really attractive... Oh, that stuff is so good. Can we talk about that for you? Yeah, let's talk about the pork. Are we going to start plugging this wire? Oh my god, yes, we should do that. What are we doing? Can you run us through the platter? Give us a run through what's left of the platter. We're taking years off our life by porging on cheese and ate its meats. Flown in from Sydney, Australia.

Anybody in Sydney, go to the Feather and Bone website and buy their stuff because it's amazing. Best quality meat, all ethical, really well sourced, just so delicious. You buy a steak from them, it tastes different to any other steak. It's never a missed steak, that's for sure. Oh my god! What are you like, 90? What happened? He's at least 110. Good lord! Seriously, are you going to trust him with a question then? Yeah. What's happening?

From R&M So so cal which i'm assuming is some in california so it could be somewhere else would y'all's relationship be closer or not if you were neighbors um I'm fairly sure that at some point we're all going to end up on a commune looking back on our lives and going well this was fucking inevitable wasn't it?

Well at least property prices are so prohibitive I mean we're already seriously talking to other friends about the same thing That's all moving together Just buy a really big house I don't know whether it would be closer or not but I don't know whether it would be closer or not but i you could sum it up potentially by saying i think that we could never ever from a lifestyle point of view like sleep or play with you guys again and we could still be incredibly close friends and if we ended up living next to you somewhere awesome that would be amazing and i'd borrow lots of sugar yeah you borrow sugar right and we'd have a real problem actually keeping up the amount of wine that we would drink i mean seriously oh my god they're in the woodshed again and also every so often we just spin off into the dark place with our collective nintendo farms they'll never be seen again.

We could start Duvalet the shit out of that place. That'd be amazing. Yeah. I don't know if it'd be better or worse. It would be more convenient. I don't mean that from a sexy time point of view. Listen, you know, it's quite some new friends. But, I don't know. I think that answers the question, does it? So I'd like to follow up from that on a general, the basis of a really good friendship thing, so it being this time of year and the season to be jolly and everything else.

My very best friend from high school sent me a present just the other day and I unwrapped it and burst into tears because it was so thoughtful and so exactly what meant something to us. No, in fact, it was a book of a movie that we both always used to watch together and she sent that through.

And the thing is, I don't her ever really you know she's completely different she's busy she's got children she goes off she does her own thing and it doesn't matter because we are still fundamentally friends forever and that will never change and that's how i feel about you guys can everybody please do a great hug mrs chardonnay's crying at this point but they would be which is charming I'm hugging her head with my neck neck hug you're not great I also got a plan at this point that on the flight over on Singapore air there was an advert where an old lady makes a small voice with cookies and she also cried at that and we watched the movie christopher robin the other night and and that was just a non-stop snot and tear it up for like two solid errors robin's a terrible movie it was wonderful you've got no soul man this entire podcast is not to me about the fact that I'm inclined to weep at initial things.

My point is, I think proximity has nothing to do with friendship. I agree. Concur. Good stuff. All right. That was the sound of a bowl shaking for everybody out there. Man, who doesn't know what a bowl is. From mrs loving life again how often do you get together um well i mean apart from the fact that secretly you guys are not really living in singapore actually you're living somewhere out west in australia and you visit us surprisingly regularly um i don't know i haven't really counted like three times a year maybe? So last year we had the average, we came down for your birthday last year.

This year we went to Barlow to see you, plus we came down earlier this year twice, twice to see you. So this year's been a lot. This year's been a lot. Yeah, but the year before probably not as much. But we got together on Skype and drink wine and talk bullshit. That's true, we do do virtual I'm sorry. I'm drink wine and talk bullshit. That's true. We do do virtual drinking sessions. Well, it's not really virtual at all. I suppose we just dial into Skype and all sit and eat cheese and wine and do it via the computer instead.

Except your cheese and wine is actually normally better than our cheese and wine. Well, that's... Only because the cheese and wine here is exorbitant. Of course it is, don't I? So I think, Dee, you need to go cut some more of this delicious salami stuff, and I'm going to hand-mix it. I understand that's actually Mr Cabernet's example of his own dearth. I was exaggerating. It's definitely not. How have you been the salami? Have you? No, God, no, no, God, I'm not a dissolution, I'm not a dissolution. Oh, honey. Yeah, no, all right. The visual jokes are lost on the listeners here.

It was a massive, massive salami, a solid 12 inches long and 5 inches round. It's also delicious. so you know not a bit above oh no you still feel a little delicious i think the way from tell dave while dave i'm about to after being that close and swinging together that long have there been any feelings developed that have needed to be assessed and discussed? A cat amongst the pigeons can open worms everywhere, my friends.

I think there's probably always going to be some feelings and stuff developed, but not in terms of jealousy, if that's where you're getting at, at least certainly not at all. No other half couple. Think about it from the perspective of your new lifestyle. Sometimes people think, what if some sort of relationship develops outside of my own core relationship? Here know, here comes Steve with his meat, is that a bad thing? Especially Mr. Cowan, I assume. Is that a bad thing? What if it does?

I mean, if the only thing keeping your relationship together is not fucking other people, you probably need to have a little bit of a look at your relationship. That's not the question. The question is... Is it not? No. The question is, we're all very good friends, we've all been together for a long time, we're all hanging out in a very intimate way. So do you care about somebody else above what the expectation of the swimming lifestyle would be? perspective, isn't there a perspective or potentially on, you know, Mr. Cabernet liking to see more than, you know.

I think, no, no, I totally, the question makes total sense. The question makes total sense in a sentimental way. The question makes total sense because I think that... And think that's probably a very valid theory for people. It is a valid theory, but I think also that it develops. So for me, I was joking with Mr Cabernet that we're doing. Please stop changing names. Or stroking my hand with his eyebrows? Okay, so we need some context there because he's currently stroking your hand with his eyebrows. He's got his hairy grub eyebrows.

I think to the listeners' point is that you spend a lot of time or you develop a relationship to a point where do you become, I guess, invested in that other person or that other couple? And is it a bad thing or is it okay? And how do you take that hurdle to being like, actually, it's concerning for me and I don't want my partner, my primary, to feel a certain way about somebody else?

And we joked about this a little while ago where I said that legitimately i love you guys and what does love mean and how does that look yeah but you also love your your parents well yeah so i'm not the same way please tell me i'm the same way i know you've been queensland but fuck so i would take that in a again in a friendship way the same way that i love my best friend from school that I was talking about. That's just how we feel about you guys. I think as far as am I concerned that there might be deeper feelings between Mr.

Cabernet and D or C or whatever else than I would otherwise want to have happen honestly no and i think that comes from us all being very secure in our own relationships and the fact that we really are just friends who happen to play that way as well and there isn't i don't think a void that's missing in either one of the the relationships that one of the four is filling, in a way. So in short, for me, it's a no. There's no concern, there's no anxiety, and I'm a very anxious person.

There is no concern or anxiety that that is what might be happening here, and he might be falling in love with one or other of you if that's where we're getting at. So I would summarise it like that. I think he's totally falling in love with me. Well, you are pouring wine. Exactly. Very elegantly licking the stem of his wine glass right now. Very expensive stems.

I'm telling my friends, a number of smellies I love her in sydney holy shit mrs cabernet though you need to after default your wine pick one of these i'm not sure i was finished answering that question do you want to add more please add i mean i'd love for you to ask questions because your ad is normally a subtraction anyway from R&M SoCal in your case is it dinner, drinks then get it moving or some other order of events when you finally see them he's talking about us all together like fuck me it's like all the wine and it's usually drinks and then baby's dinner and then some more drinks and then we'll yeah and if we happen to still be awake when i sat over to bed i didn't mean together yeah it's just it's just dinner it's it's food and wine and this is an interesting point right so and i guess that's kind of how we play overall in the entire lifestyle as well if we're meeting people and they're not I don to fuck.

Sure, that's flattering. side of well show up and let's just try and jump into bed together so all of the messages that we get that are like ah hi I want to fuck sure that's flattering but that's not our thing we want to like you as friends and so we always wanted to do the intro piece yes first and we're done so can I add a follow-up to that as well like if we were say we're now living next door to each other do you think you guys would have do you think we'd ever do a quickie do you think you guys would ever, like, do you think we'd ever do a quickie?

Do you think you guys are capable and I ask this as well, kind of myself, of just like having just, hey, bing bong, you know, knocking the door, hey, we're just interested in fucking you guys for like the next, I'm going to say 20 minutes because I don't want to over exaggerate over exaggerate so like do you guys just want to like Thank you very much. you guys for like the next, I'm going to say 20 minutes because I don't want to over-exaggerate. Over-exaggerate. So like, do you guys just want to like fuck and then like get on with the day?

And I guess does that lend itself to being only further into the relationship versus when you first start? If we said between week one versus week 52. But that's the same as being in a normal relationship right it's like you kind of want to build up to it whereas you know you're older and you have to get to work and you've got other stuff to do so like a five minute clock is like oh thank god that's amazing great i've got stuff to do but you were wow i'm actually just surprised because that's like twice for mr cabernet right For what? Five minutes. Yeah, at least. At least twice.

Maybe two and a half. It always never happens, sir. I kind of, I don't know. I think it's entirely, yes, you would definitely, definitely do that. But I don't think it comes with time and experience and getting to know the person. I mean, it comes to know with knowing the person, which you can do within five minutes sometimes, right? It's like when you interview people for a position where you work. Please don't. Wow. Please tell me. Which is hyperglobalmegacorp.com. Always trying to fuck you.

No, my point is, you know, the first five minutes, so they're not going to be any good anymore, right? I can kind of one-hand the number of times somebody who's been shit in the first five minutes of an interview has kind of turned my opinion. I've actually never thought about it that way, that like, in the first, in the, like, you're right, you know. I don't mean this as an interview, I just think you can know when you're getting it. No, you're alluding to the fact that you can grasp the person very quickly. I agree, I totally agree with that.

No, I totally agree first impressions that's why you've never grasped it because we sit there we think about some of your ex-girlfriends who we've sat down with and you're like oh my god she's amazing then i'm like she is a total vacuous bitch and then a year later you're like she's a total that the total vacuous bitch i'm like yeah like that no no so people generally so in my experience if you talk about um certainly in business the first five minutes you have with somebody um they're generally the the best person you will see a version of them it's the best version of them you'll see in the first five minutes of their shit then it's only going to get more shit it doesn't even they don't even need to be shit they just need to be themselves but not what you're looking for so I mean we've been to our very politically correct no we've been Irish pv mingles before right and I remember trying to one lady at one was several years ago and she was like so what are you guys all about blah blah and we're like well come along to support a friend um it's great to meet people well uh we don't tend to just like one nice time to pick another book we tend to like go out for drinks and dinner and get to know people a bit better and see how it goes and she's like oh i just want to talk and it was no judgment it was That's fucking awesome that's what you're up for fill me booze go for it but you and i are probably ultimately not going to mesh really because because i like having breakfast with people the next morning and hanging out drinking wine and coming to other countries you can have fucking breakfast with us the next morning i'm pretty yeah they really have pretty sure pretty pretty expensive eggs benedict in sydney so no just but just following on from that as well i think there's a romance factor to a certain extent in that as well right we know you and we love you and we know you and we love you and we've seen you over and over again but if you picked us up at the airport and driven us home and gone right let's get naked and get bed.

That's not really how I rock as an individual. That doesn't work for me on any. I was actually contemplating, like, jumping on you torso in the airport and then just kind of, like, kissing you in. Well, it might have worked. That actually would have totally worked. It might have worked. If I did that, it wouldn't have worked. If she did that. It's not a hard boundary, it's not a soft boundary. In answer to dinner, drinks and get it moving, it has to be dinner and drinks, but I haven't seen you, I kind of want to reconnect.

It's the same if you're busy at work with your partner and you don't see each other, you don't necessarily just go right, oh, it's fucking going on for my day.

Or you want to just like hold each other for a little bit to reconnect and then you feel that you're together again and then it's fine so yeah or sometimes when you haven't seen each other for long you skip all that and you're straight to the fisting we don't go to the fisting so should we like turn this off now then i mean i feel like we've gotten to know each other a lot in the last hour and silence from mrs loving life what aspects of this relationship help make it a longer term than others? Oh, good question. So basically, like, why, sorry, when you...

I think the question's pretty questioning all of itself. I don't think you need to add to it. Yeah, all done for listeners. So it's a good question, though, like, why this lifestyle relationship versus others? So, you meet a lot of people, and you connect with people, and some people you connect with on a people level, and some people you don't. What makes that relationship go to the next level? Thank you for the explanation. It's almost like you've explained the question perfectly. I wasn't listening. I was trying to get more meat. You were looking at how much work we did last? Uh-huh.

I don't know question, in terms of, if you guys were like, hey, brilliant, here's a really expensive wine and a nice meal, now let's fucking never see each other again.

I'd be like, nah, probably not going to work but if you want to talk about stupid shit and drink too much wine and eat some cheese then you know that's good so it comes back so this was a longevity question right so it comes back then to the friendship side of things again right you're already friends so naturally you want to check that you want to keep checking in and make sure you're okay and maintain the relationship because you are you know friends Thank you.

side of things again right you're already friends so naturally you want to check that you want to keep checking in and make sure you're okay and maintain the relationship because you are you know friends i i agree although um c is just giving me the next question i've realized how fucking old i am that i can't read it because she's put it in a font that appears to be the regular size font do you want but i think i might be dull it's point 16 it's quite clear yeah do you want me to read so this is a question this is a question for d no i don't think it is i think it's just a question for the group from slot b i know you're wrong i mean i love the reference as well as a computing reference how do you navigate difficult changes in their own lives or relationships that are independent of you, like a death in the family, or them needing to reassess their own.

So, shit changes in one couple's lives and stuff goes on hold. I get to answer this first. We support the fuck out of each other. And sometimes, I mean you guys as well, because sometimes like in a relationship like C and I have sometimes it's good to have other people call you on your shit as well right or to help you through bad times or to push you to do something that is better for you don't misread that because we could never force you guys to do anything, of course. But being at least confident when somebody says to you, well, you know, work is shit and I'm hating it and I'm hating life.

Having somebody else other than your partner because your partner's opinion means nothing. No, it doesn't. In any relationship, honestly, if you don't agree with that, you don't understand your... Honestly, I firmly believe this because no matter what I... You may be somewhat immune to it. Somewhat immune is, okay, fine. I basically believe you're lying to me. You're like, oh, you could do this and you could do that. I'm like, yeah, but you don't really know. You're just saying that. You have to say that. You have to say it. Because you're in love with me, you have to say it. I agree.

So that is a difference between somebody who's a little bit further away in terms of your direct partner is that when somebody else says to you, hey, you need to get the fuck away from this work because it's killing you. And we see the difference in you and, you know, from the last time we visited to this time, we can see the difference in you. You just look drained. You look heavier and drained. Full of wine, but drained. You know what I mean? So that's the, I think, something that is different in this type of relationship is that you still get to offer that opinion.

And I think that opinion is sometimes taken a little bit more forward than your partner's opinion. But that's the same in any friendship, though. Yes, absolutely. So the swing has nothing to do with that. No, it doesn't at all. That's just friends. That's just friends going, wow, you guys seem happy or you guys seem stretched or tired or this or that. Maybe that's just quite a link for me. It's coming down to just being friends. The question, though, is how do you navigate it? And I would actually answer that.

You would navigate it any way that you would navigate anything in a friendship or a relationship, which is that. You give them an opportunity to pause, you respect their boundaries, and you stay with them for whatever they need, whether that is a call to the crowd or somebody to not ask them stupid fucking questions or not push them into the bedroom. That's how you navigate them. Right up until they start to hurt your relationship or your personal feelings of yourself. So you treat it like a human being.

If it's a person who's genuinely in pain and needs support, you support them, whether or not it's somebody that you've loved for 10 years or whether it's somebody who's collapsed an emotional troll in a gas station and you've just met. If it's somebody who's an emotional fucking vampire and they're a bit of a cunt you cut them free you can say how do you feel about cunts oh i have no problem okay because she loves to throw a face into them no reason to be a cunt there's one one left, and it's funny that this is one. Why don't you take it? Do you know what's funny? No, no.

Do you know what's funny is the way that she keeps flipping the bowl or anything like that? There's more in there. This is so fucking funny because I posted a little bit of information about us and our relationship on the community and said, hey, ask questions. And this is one of the questions, but it's so funny this one's come last. Is it about Sturgy Mallee? Mr. what are you, what are you, Cabernet? I don't even know. Mr. Cabernet. Mr. Cabernet. Chardonnay, Cabernet.

And you're giving it to me with a really worrying smile on your face from rnm socal also you guys have written like four questions you probably need to get out a bit more i'm just saying what took them three months to respond perfect uh no silence on our side of the table we'll just wait for the response so i covered that a little little bit. I covered that a little bit. You did cover that a little bit.

I looked at profiles, I judged by appearance, I felt intimidated, woman to woman, standing up to what I saw from a pictorial perspective online and decided I didn't want to go there because I wasn't confident enough. And our current profile on RGP says it all. If we don't get back to you, it may be a bit disappointing, but it's not a disappointing it's Pitch Perfect 3. So, care for it. Does it actually say that? Yeah. Oh my God, that is awesome. Oh, well, C is losing her fucking mind. You know you just took two steps down the sexy ladder with that. She's like Pitch Perfect. Anything with...

Pitch Perfect 3, 3, Part 3. Yeah, which has... It was almost unwatchable. Yeah, but it's still got... It still does, but it's still almost a mind. I mean, we're going to watch it, but it's almost a mind. That's why it needs to be heard almost. We can all worship Anna Kendrick as much as we want. It's still a bad movie. It's a bad move, but I mean, C would totally, I mean, Anna Kendrick is the reason she shifted to the middle side. There was no reason. We don't use RHP, I think, as it's potentially set up to use, and it's potentially funded to use. Generally, we don't.

Sometimes I'm on there six times a day if I've got a day working from home that's when you're not really working yeah it's not working sure cool or if you're just a bit horny and you want to fucking look at other people's photos or whatever or you want to see well you do that yeah nobody else looks at anybody else's photos on there that would be strange but you jerk but you jerk off as well while you're doing that no i get the feeling you jerk off as well no i i have the rhp window up and that's purely under cough and i've got like other porn up on the other screen and i'm jerking off while reading and not jerking off to rhp because that would be disrespectful or something there's no there's no reason it took a long time it just just sometimes takes a while, right?

Yeah, sometimes people are cunts. He stole my cheese. Well, I think it took you that long to persuade me that it was okay to meet you guys just to talk anyway, because might not be a stunning person as in fact you actually are, which you are, and it's intimidating still. Well, let's talk about that then. Oh, I'm a bit deep now. Well, no, Dee explains that when we first had our first single guy experience, he was younger. He was quote-unquote more successful, he drove the same car as us and he made more money. Yep. And he was fucking hot. I mean seriously. And he was like, he had a six-pack.

So when he was back there. So let's talk about the six-pack. The dude was hot. He was fucking movie star, like hot as fuck. Great. Yeah. That sounds amazing. Ideal. That's actually what we, that's amazing ideal that's actually what we that's actually that's i was just describing you you saucy devil so so so do you have a moment of like why would you not be with this person you know if he is me plus better i.e 10 years younger Woah, I didn't say anything about being young, eh? Yes you did, you mother fucker. I'm sorry. Bye. He is me plus better, i.e. 10 years younger, whatever. Whoa.

I didn't say anything about being younger. Yes, you did, you motherfucker. Why? Why would you stay with the kind partner you're with? And I think that's the discussion topic, right? Like, we have these insecurities. So, Mr. fucking whatever you are, I can't remember your name. Cabernet. Cabernet. I mean, tell us a time when you've actually felt a bit, not jealous, but maybe envious of the other person. Every time I take my shirt and or pants off, and sometimes it's just the one. Am I right? Shirt cocking. Yeah. Sometimes we've got a shirt cocking.

Every time I feel a little bit embarrassed, I'm out of shape, and I am a little bit out of shape. Depends what shape you're looking for. Not tragically so, but I'm currently like 90 kilos and I should be 85, and that's because I drink too much booze. Of least three kilograms of that's penis, though, right? Yeah, at least. So how do you move past that, then? Like, you see a profile, and you think, wow, that person is...

If it's the sort of person that says, that person's slightly out of shape and doesn't have a six-pack and isn't chiseled and doesn't go to the gym every day, I basically don't really want to know them. And that's genuine.

That's not just because, oh, if I was a chiseled god doesn't go to the gym every day i basically don't really want to know them and that's genuine that's not just because oh if i was a chiseled god i would only mix with people like that i find people like that boring as shit um because uh that's not true generally i find people are that boring as shit there's probably some of them who just so happen to have that interest in lifestyle in terms of fitness lifestyle and working out and getting really awesome and everything and are also really amazing people there's also a lot of people like that who Thank you.

happen to have that interest in lifestyle in terms of fitness lifestyle and working out and getting really awesome and everything and are also really amazing people. There's also a lot of people like that who are just in it for, don't I have an amazing body? Isn't my body amazing? Look at my body. It's like, well, yeah, it's great. Do you have anything else or nothing?

So I think from a security perspective and feeling comfortable, the number of people that I'm attracted to that has nothing really to do with their shape or size is, I'm quite surprised by whom I found attractive because I was quite, I'm more into women than I am Man, that shocker, everybody at the fucking table, but the, the, I remember one couple a long time ago and the guy was like not not my ideal of anything like people he wasn't I didn't mean that in a bad way but he wasn't like he was very scrawny not very masculine But, the personality was amazing, so the personality and the engagement was amazing, so the personality and the engagement was amazing.

So the personality and the engagement and the stuff he had to talk about and the passion for what he did as a living, he was artistic, and it was just captivating. And I was so attracted to that that I'd never really thought about that before. And it makes sense, right? So, again, it comes down to you're attracted to the person you're friends with the person it's it's about that more than it is physical appearance oh so question why is it then that that ladies can't see that flint so so so because i'm sure some can as well but i'm using the two ladies we have in this room. God, I can help you.

Because neither of you, I mean, the interesting thing is C felt the same way as you did in terms of... Oh, I think I'm hideous. Like, I think nobody would like me. I'm not witty, I'm not intelligent, I'm ugly. So, this is the interesting thing for me, is why is it that you can see that other people would find, you would see past other people's faults, and I'm doing air quotes for those of you out there. Yes, why do you see past other people's faults?

But when you look in the mirror, or when you have somebody looking at you, there's no way you can perceive that somebody would see the same thing in you. Because you'll... Forget your body. I mean, you are hot. You're hot. There's no doubt about it. I mean, fucking seriously. She nearly broke one of my... I want to go put a cigarette out of my rug so I can pick it up with your ass cheeks. She nearly broke my testicles before with her ass cheeks. That sounded weird, didn't it?

That sounds a a bit weird that's not how it was at all let's break your balls whoa fuck that went south quick i'm not ashamed of that at all let's do that come on okay but i'm just i'm just curious as to why why it is that that because you're hot and you're also intelligent and anybody else who can who's listening this can hear that you're an intelligent girl you are you have an opinions woman sorry girl woman the same i actually prefer girl i think she's more girly than woman yeah um and you know so you've got it you've got intelligence personality and you look good so why is it when i say that i can almost feel a cringe from this side of the table?

Well, it's the same, right? Now you're a friend, so it's the same as Mr. Cabinet is saying. It doesn't really count. Oh, wow. So what barrier? When does it happen? When does that happen? One year? You like me anyway. I do, totally. It's not. And that's not just you guys, that's other friends who we're also with. I'm like, yeah, well, you know, they like me, but I don't think they're really attracted to me. You know, they like me and they do me because I'm nice, but it's not, it's not. They don't actually find me attractive. Well, this is, I mean, this is a whole other conversation.

No, but this is drifting and this is a whole other podcast to be drifted into women's but that's just growing up as that's just growing up as a female in this environment of perfect sculptors model bodies body image all the rest of it and the rest yeah and i i have to say i'm not very good from a feminist side i am not very good at the whole oh my body's amazing I don't care anything about it because that's nonsense. I've never liked my body. It's been a thing since I was eight so I can't. Let's change track then. If you were to think about the ideal person for Mr.

Cabernet, male or female, what would they look like? Who would they or like a like a sexual partner if you're going on a date yeah if you were going to pick somebody on a date okay for mr cabernet what would they look like who would they be well it would be Winona Ryder yeah Winona Ryder from Heather Basically, so that whole kind of Alvin short-haired thing, he's definitely gone. You're a Nona Ryder. Definitely not. Don't sing like that, you mother...

thing so that whole kind of alvin short-haired thing he's definitely not like every other member of the 49 of the world that are female so um yeah i don't know it should be like like Winnow-i but the rest of it's not about looks and that kind of thing it's more about being children and not obsessed with work and various other things and that's a whole other thing Mr Chardonnay then if you're going to pick somebody for Miss Chardonnay oh nicely done wow you're finally getting it just just toward the end of the podcast. Male, female. Who would you think that should be referred to?

No, internally. He's laughing because he knows that you said male. But you didn't mean it. I am totally attracted to males. If you were going to go online and you were going to pick somebody or meet somebody, what would that person look like, be like? So, the ideal, let's make it a little bit spicy, Miss Chardonnay's, ideal threesome. Thank you. some black beelines. So the ideal, let's make it a little bit spicy, Miss Chardonnays, ideal threesome, Leonard Cohen and Stevie Nicks. That would be amazing. I might maybe just substitute Leonard Cohen for Chris Hemsworth. Oh yeah, actually.

I'd probably rather Chris Hemsworth than Stevie Nicks because that would be cool. See, you could have Chris Hemsworth doing it and Leonard Cohen, like, singing about it in the background. Yeah, sure. Just like Leonard Cohen. Or Harrison Ford and Cary Fitcher as they were in our short story. Yes. That, too. Okay, so if you're going to talk about 2018 and realistic people, what do you think? Oh, realistic people. It's still Chris Homeworth. Wait. You mean, people we actually know? No, no. We mean... Real estate people is not the right word.

Yeah, anyone that looks like Chris Hemsworth will be fine. Thanks, that'd be great. Actually, that's not true because I would automatically assume that they were a gym toting a douchebag that liked looking at themselves in the mirror also. It's impossible. Somebody that seems to be having fun and has come forward with themselves and having a good time and not being too neurotic about everything, right? So a person that's, like, setting up a chandelier is eating Doritos. What? Kind of... If it was genuine and it seemed genuine, fine. Because we've also...

We've actually hooked up with somebody we met on the first day before, and they seemed completely legit and comfortable and a-okay, and it wasn't until we'd finished, you know, whatever, and it turned out that they were fucking crazy, so. And then, and so they became some of your best friends, you know? I know, I live in Singapore. Keep it going.

So, I i don't know it's it's hard to pick i don't like just judging people on well you're super hot less fucking myself because okay because there's probably most definitely super all people who are a complete fucking waste of time anyway and the entire moral story comes back to how this entire podcast was introduced which is is we got a message from you guys a long time ago and we didn't respond to it and part of that would have been i would have just been crazy fucking busy with my life and part of that would have been that intimidated by sneeze looks as a woman and i would have not necessarily wanted to go there, so, yeah.

I'd be interested in the same question I asked of you. What's that? If you were to pick a person, male or female, for me, what would they look and be like, yeah? For you? They'd'd start with a baritone. Well, see, the problematic thing about this is that when you say... Male or female. No, but when you say pick them for you, in my head I'm feeling very selfish and I'm like, who do I want to fuck? Because we're a couple. But that wasn't the question. But that's what happens, right?

Because in my head I'm like, okay, great, so I'm going to see her naked or him naked naked i'm going to be with them as well so in my head i'm like so i want to feel sexually attracted to them as well so but it's difficult right so when it's a couple because there's different levels so when you first meet a couple on a looks perspective you're already like well maybe one way maybe the other maybe maybe not you maybe oh i like the guy more i like the girl more i like this more and you're already like oh fuck i'm assessing you to try and work out this is going to work as a thing it's already quite stressful i want to be fair we've all met couples where we've been like holy shit you're amazing but why the fuck yeah a little bit there's that too Do you hear what I'm saying?

I interrupted you. No, it's a really good question because when I think about who I want to see Dee with, I'm also coming from a slightly selfish perspective of who I want to be with as well because we engage in sex together. If it was just purely solo play, who I'd want to maybe see him with on a Skype session, a fucking nobody. It would be different versus, like, who do I want to play with, right? Because then... You sat alone in a hotel room, jerking off, broken, glassy fitness and crying, happy pizza in the background. Is he using the tears as, like, lube, though? Oh, yeah. Could be.

What else are you going to do with it? He eats a lot of lube, so it makes sense. Only silly. As we wrap this up though... Oh, we're wrapping this up really closely. I did, I did. I thought this was going to be a solid. No. Where's my question? Too much family. You don't have it. So, if you're going to leave one piece of advice for people that are going to seek out long-term friends in a lifestyle, what would it be? Mrs. Chardonnay. Just seek out friends. Yeah, be friends. If you're not friends, then you're basically just slapping meat together.

If you're not friends, don't basically just slapping meat together if you're not friends don't pretend oh oh new cash card um that can be the title of the podcast yeah right or that or that or you're just basically slapping meat together i don't mean that in a bad way you know sometimes that can be fun be fun. It's never, ah, fuck, I don't know, it works differently for everybody, right? Oh my god, oh wow. Come on, give us, give us a... All you want is to anonymously turn up to a sex club and get fucking the shit banked out of you by 10 guys or one of you, go... Go to a sex club.

No judging whatsoever whatsoever but don't try and i don't know make a connection with people where the entire point of all of these websites is you write a profile saying hello this is you and you're not going to but what if their phone says i just want to bang me no fine that's cool you know it's just like yeah you know you know, fuck my holes and fill me full of jizz.

It's like, great, okay, it's just like yeah you know fuck my holes and fill me full of jizz it's like great okay it's not my thing but off you go i hope you have a wonderful time also be safe so how what i mean how did that profile work for you um it wasn't entirely productive but i gotta be honest i didn't get filled with a lot of jizz Given you are the elephant man of jizz, a lot of jizz must be a lot of jizz for you. Seriously, you'd feel like a quart glass one shot from across the road. Be friends.

Yeah, so from a wrap-up perspective, you guys have been doing this longer than we have and played more in the overall lifestyle. That's actually... Because you're sluts and you're in a house. But you've been doing this more constructively than we have. It's just a stumble into a, this is what we like and these are our friends and we haven't sleep together. Isn't that nice?

You've been doing it more constructively longer than we have so what's your take on it so for for me um when we first you're not talking to both of us now or for anyone else just for you show your final so for me i would have to say that the the most important thing is, like you guys said, just finding friends. I mean, one of the things I'm striving for here in Singapore, and I say I'm striving because C is less involved in this here. I've given up. You've given up, yeah. Less involved in this here than what I am. No, no. But I'm striving to find people who are in exactly the same vein.

They just want friends who, wow, occasionally, I mean, occasionally we have sex, like the four of us, right? I don't think that defines, like you guys said earlier today, even if you took the sex away and we lived side by side, that wouldn't necessarily destroy our relationship. It would change our relationship. I have a side question. This topic was actually brought up recently on a chat function, and one of the topics was like, how do you deal then with a relationship that goes sour, but you still have to see each other?

No, I'm not saying that that we're going sour but I'm just saying if we lived in Australia and then perhaps a couple that we knew who we've actively played with before we don't play anymore like how do you actually deal with great like we we have a great relationship but like what happens if something goes sour and we don't? How do you deal with that? You look them dead in the eye and say, I don't want you anymore. Well, but if you're in the same circle, it's a bit difficult, right? Well, if you're literally in the same circle, that is probably a broader conversation.

So, I mean, I'm going to say six or seven slaps. The reason this came up is that one of our friends, they have been in a three-year relationship with a couple. They're in the same city, and they do a lot of stuff together, and after three years, the relationship has kind of dissolved, and now they're at the point where they're going to the same clubs, they're going to the same events, and the other couple's there. Like, how do you navigate that? But you're still friends, so you're still going to plightly acknowledge each other. You're still friends on a relative basis. Thank you very much.

they are going to the same events and the other couples there, like how do you navigate that? But you're still friends, so you're still going to plightly acknowledge each other, you're still friends on a relative basis, you might not see each other as often as before because other priorities take place, but you're still going to be polite, normal human beings, and that's just a new thing you don't really do anymore, so it should be any harder than that.

It's like when your friends say to you, hey, we want a cup of Singapore, stay at your house, and you don't really want them here, but you allow them to. So you put like bed bugs in that bed. That's why you know that. You're like, fuck it, I don't care. You have to bring all the champagne. Exactly. And all the meat that they can fit in their bag. But, you know, totally different, separate separate topic Are any of your listeners in Singapore?

Yes We've got a couple of good friends in the lifestyle that we either slept with a lot and now don't at all or slept with quite a lot and now very rarely do but still see regularly because it's just friends being friends so like people drop down but also also some of the times sometimes you get together even with people that you do find sexually attractive when you get together with them if the mood's not right yeah you still won't have sex with them it's a balance Ms.

Chardonnay said, you kind of want to have that moment where you're reconnecting and spending time together so it's a balance, right? You can't just say okay, we have 24 hours, we're going to fuck like crazy versus let's spend the first 12 and a half. I'm going to say with this couple, I'm pretty happy with the fucking life. Spend a bit of time, eat some cheese, eat some meat, record a podcast, whatever stuff you do. But it's equally the same thing.

If you just bring it back to your friends, you wouldn't expect, if you were all friends together, a barbecue for the friend that was really fucking stressed out for whatever reason to be the life and soul of the party.

So subsequently, if you're all together and one of you is not quite the life and soul of the party you all know why and you're respecting that and that's just people being friends and if that impacts on whether everybody goes to bed together it's just it's just i have a brilliant idea though let's finish the podcast so this is hang on this is your brilliant idea and then you're self-proclaiming yes we're going to finish the podcast we're going to go play mario party and we're going to scare the fuck out of miss chardonnay because she doesn't know how to play it and it's going to be awesome yeah i agree let's do it maybe it's a mario car okay those um i'm going to take i'm going to have to take my pants off any last comments from miss chardonnay any last comments before we close the podcast down no app?

No, you don't get comments. Ms. Chardonnay, no. Oh, come on. We like it when you talk. Yeah, you know, cut it, whatever. Let me pick up that dummy that's over here. Let me emotionally manipulate you a little bit more.

There's a wonderful comedian called Pat Oswald he does fantastic stand-up and um a couple years ago his wife who he loved michelle magnamara wrote a great book about a serial killer america and she died very suddenly and she was only 40 and had a young daughter and he did a he had returned to stand-up he finished by encapsulating nothing to do the swinging community whatsoever but to do with life in general and he said the best advice that his wife ever gave him before she died was it's chaos out there be kind and that was a pretty good sign off for a stand-up thing because it's good advice for business and life and the swinging community and anything you do to anybody ever is it's basically chaos you're dealing with a hundred other people who have a hundred other ideals and they see you in one way and you see yourself another way and them in another way just be kind and go with it it's fine it's not to be all and end all of everything so don't worry too much about it have fun be safe and and now everybody can understand that men also can feel really quite you know uh small by comparison to their mental superiors who turn up and quote amazing stories and they make me a little bit teary i'm surprised i cry to christopher robin too on note, I think we should probably turn this thing off.

Yeah? Yep. So then C? No, but D. Just show it in there. And me. Perfect. Thank you for listening to Swinging Down on podcast. G'day, guys. It's C here. I just wanted to mention that I'm heading to Naughty in New Orleans next year in July of 2019. If any of you guys are going, please do get in contact with me. We're hosting a podcast meet and greet with a bunch of other podcasters and lifestyle bloggers.

I'm likely to be on the Thursday morning, so please get in in contact I've got a section up on our website as well for getting in contact with me you can follow the links on the website or if you haven't yet got your tickets you can also book through us as well and then you'll get an Aussie swag bag so if you guys are out there and you're already booking please let me know we are hosting a community chat for all of the podcasters, bloggers and people who want to come along to the meet and greet. And so we can all get in there and have a chat before we catch up in July of 2019.

Thanks so much, guys, and hope to hear from you all and please do get in contact. Cheers. Have a great day.