P70 – Office Party and A Slut Podcast

Transcript

Hi there, my name is C. I'm Dee and you're listening to Swinging Down Under. Our journey is a couple through the swinging lifestyle. Are you into open relationships? Or exploring new things in life? This is our podcast. Experiences, both good and bad, reviews and events, and more here at Swinging Down Under. Come on. Join us. G'day everyone and welcome to episode 70. This is your host C. And this is D. And he still doesn't think anyone cares about the number of episodes we've done. This is an ongoing battle in our household like Vegemite and peanut butter. That's very true.

We are a house divided on the spreads on our toast and also the episode numbers on our podcast yes it's possibly divorce material but we press on we press on hey everyone today's episode is going to be a three-part segment really it is about the recent office party that we attended and we have some pre-party audio to share with you which we're going to put up first then we're going to discuss um our thoughts after the party so what actually happened at the party and a little bit of a um sneak peek here it wasn't great and then uh later up what we have is a new segment and it's our interview with a slut podcast simon from new zealand talking a little bit about you still keep saying new zealand As opposed to New Zealand.

That's right he's talking about sexuality in in New Zealand so that's part of our new cultural and sexuality uh diversity section on our podcast so that's coming up in today's episode yeah and if you fucking hate it let's let us know yeah please do um we thought that this might be interesting for everybody out there our listeners and our friends uh to learn a little bit about how everybody else out there in the world approaches sex. So it's more of a global look, you know, different locations, different people, different history, you know, different strokes for different folks.

Yeah, so send us an email with some feedback. We do have a few different episodes already locked in and interviews locked in with some really interesting people. So if it's shit can cancel those yeah and i can go to the pub that's true and then d can go to the pub don't let d go to the pub okay so we're gonna share with you now the pre-party audio hey guys we're on our way heading out to a party in singapore yes we are this is fucking Cray.

I don't know that it's that crazy it's pretty cray I don't think so okay so we just did a bit of a periscope so I just really before we get into this quick catch-up I just want to do a shout out to sex on the counter podcast or you can find them on Twitter on SOTC podcast we just did a really quick periscope of whilst we were getting ready Dee was making some drinks and they just happened to pop on so are you gonna tell everyone what number podcast this is we're gonna do that at the beginning of the podcast we did a formal intro gotcha okay but but yeah so welcome to that so sex on the counter thanks for dropping on our periscope guys they spotted the Tito's in the Moscow meals being made yeah and you did misquote in fact the Tito's was purchased here was it at Changi Airport okay at the airport all right I got you yep cool McGoo okay so what we're doing with the girl who the fuck are you old as fuck man cool and cool who's cool McGoo there's no thing.

I'm sure there is. No, I'm pretty sure there's not. What do people say? Cool oats? No, nobody ever says Cool Oats either. Okay. Whatever, babe. Okay, so we're on our way out to a party tonight. We are going to a sexy office slutty party. Slutty office party. Yes. Which is quite literally in an office.

So when we got the invite, I was a little bit paranoid about where this is taking place just because of the whole legality side of it you weren't so concerned no no not really given that what's the worst they're going to do so you guys are dressed in office we're in an office well people are going to be fucking so that's i wasn't anything why is fucking illegal when has fucking become illegal i mean because if it's illegal in this country, we're fucking leaving. We are moving like today. Get it? No. So why is fucking illegal? Because lewd behavior in public and then nudity.

But we're not in public. Well, I don't know. We're in a fucking office building. Well, that's my point. Who owns the office building? I don't know if you really have a point. What if the owner doesn't approve of this?

the owner doesn't approve of fucking in the house let's hope that the owner here approves of sex otherwise we're in fucking big trouble okay so it is an office party and so we got the invite now i just want to convert this for everybody it's pretty rare for us well i think it's rare d disagrees to get a party in singapore so the invite is for this evening it It's $150 Singapore dollars, which is $109 US dollars to attend, and you have to take alcohol. So basically it's $109 US dollars for a room. To get somebody to organize an office party, a slutty office party. For shoes.

And so, yeah, so we're heading out tonight. So Dee's in a sexy suit. You a brand new suit. I do have a brand new suit. Yeah. I very much do. And of course, um, that is one of my, like that's men lingerie for me. Yes. And how do I look? You look stunning as always. Um, you look slutty office girl, chick with a bun and. My boobs are out. Yeah.

Well, the girls are up and are up and out yes that is the case i want to mention something that's positive about going to a slutty office party your fantasy my well there's that but my glasses i get to just rock my glasses and it's totally part of the look i actually think like everybody at desire last year that your glasses suit you quite nicely yeah Yeah, well, you can't exactly wear glasses by the pool. Anyway, so... Yes, you can, and you did, you weirdo. Most days. Fun glasses. Yeah. That's different than normal glasses. Anyway, we're getting off topic.

So, I put up a poll on Twitter recently because when we got the invite, I was really curious about this whole fantasy, right, office fantasy. And so, I asked who has won the office fantasy, if at all. And then I was, look, this is my bad. I'm going to call a swing a foul. Can I call it? No, I don't think it's a swing a foul. I think it's a C foul. A C foul? Yeah, it's not a swing a foul. What's it got to do with swinging? So I said, do you have the fantasy? And then secondary, if you do, do you work in an office or you don't work in an office?

And I'm going to purchase a hat and then eat my hat. Guess why? Shockly. So out of the people that responded, 14% said they didn't have the fantasy, which is quite low. 55% said not only did they have the fantasy, but they work in an office. Now, I'm going to call myself out because I assumed that people that go or that have this fantasy, maybe they don't work in an office. You and I work in an office every day. It's fucking boring. So maybe does that take away from people having the fantasy? Apparently not, so that's my bad. That's C-fowl.

Yeah, well, just to turn that on its head, for those who don't work in an office, they probably wouldn't know how to make it erotic in an office. Well, 31% said they did have the fantasy. They don't work in an office.

But 55% responded that they had the fantasy and theyotic in an office well 31 said they did have the fantasy they don't work in an office but 55 responded that they had the fantasy and they work in an office so that's my bad people so thanks for responding to that on twitter because clearly uh i had some cliches probably amazing stats go on thanks babe yeah i mean like works in with the theme like you you know what you should do like talk about stats all night at the party absolutely yeah. Yeah. People will love that. They'll be like, oh, my God, you are a sexy secretary. Okay, so.

But if you keep talking about stats, you're going to be less sexy. You're just going to be a secretary. Excellent. I can do that. Should I take my typewriter? I should have actually went as a secretary. I just thought about how sexist I'm being. Yes, that is very true. I should be wearing a – I should be in my sexy – I can actually – hang on. I should be in my suit. I can be in it. This is a secretary's outfit for a man. I'm in a suit. That's a male secretary outfit. Yeah, I could have actually been in a suit though. Yeah, in a – you have a really nice suit as well.

Well, that's my problem though because I wear that to work. It really grasps onto your ass. It does. So, I don't know.

So, that's why I guess my cliche into this was maybe because was maybe because i wear we are stumbling across a lot of cliches we are we are like sexual cliche cliches we've done that and also sexist cliches yeah no just sexual not sexist no okay yeah i didn't mean it in a sexist way to dress this way so accidental not accidental sexism no it's we're just we're like stereotypical yeah i think that's better yeah okay let's not let's not call me a sexist live on our podcast that would be fantastic i'd say we'd edit out in post but i think that everybody knows we don't do that yeah not ever no not ever so what are you, expecting for?

What interests you in this evening's festivities? I'm interested to see what an office party looks like with a bunch of swingers, to be fair. I'm curious about how it's going to go. It's currently 9.10 p.m. We're thinking about heading there at like 9.30. We were supposed to be there at 9.30, you told me. There is that too, but you know.

So C is looking to prevent us from getting there on time which is which is you know her jam that's not true so i'm i'm really looking forward to it because i'm curious about you know i do have a fantasy i have a fantasy of the whole like being fucked over an office desk and i actually tried to compartmentalize and pull that apart a little bit and realize what that fantasy is about and honestly i think it's actually a power switch fantasy so in what way like you're the power giver or the power receiver the power receiver so for me um you know i think i would be more sub in this in this environment okay yeah so the power giver because you give the power to somebody else well that's yes well like yes okay fine you're getting me on a technicality but um yeah i think that it is something that i've been interested in so but it's funny because with the whole like fantasy turning into reality situation oftentimes you can be quite disappointed because in your head it's a certain way so in my head i'm picturing like this particular kind of office right i'm going to get there and it's going to be a singapore office what's it going to look like i'm pretty sure that this is going to be nothing like your fantasy i'm pretty sure it is too i'm pretty sure this is going to be possibly the inverse of your fantasy so i'm keen to kind of and by the way for those of you out there that just noticed when i said possibly that there was a really large pop.

Oh, shut up.

It's because so you decided that the pop filters weren't necessary for this very short i took them to perth and now i'm pretty sure oh they're in the cupboard too yeah cool right beside the microphones you got out for this so they're actually in the bomb shelter they're in the bomb shelter yes uh so yeah that's what i'm kind of hoping for i'm interested in a big group tonight's uh people apparently are more than half are singles more than half are single unicorns and single manicorns yeah so that's interesting it will be very interesting so i'm keen to kind of see how that pans out especially given we've never played with a unicorn well maybe tonight's the night um the lady The lady did say that it is all of the ladies are Asian and all of the men are Caucasian was what she told me.

Well, that's not the case because you're going. Well, that's what she told me. But that's not the case. Everybody else, I'm assuming, was what she was saying. I don't think that's the case. We'll see. And she said everybody's around the same age and travel type interest levels. Well, that can't be the case either, given there's 10 years between us. I mean, we're not around the same age. Is there anything else you want to add? No, not really. I think it'll be an interesting evening. Are you excited? Oh, what's that about? Excited, not really the right term, I don't think. What's that about?

Why not? It's a swingers party. Yeah, but I don't know anyone there. It's going to be an interesting event. You just never know. What happens if it's an office building that looks over another office building and there's people working in the other office building? Like that's not going to work. We can always cut and run and go to four floors of Hawes. We could do that. Sorry. Or its real name, which is Orchard Towers. Look it up, people.

It's actually got five floors of horse as well just yes i know it's like a douglas adams book it's like a trilogy in four parts but there's really five books we know that the word horse is a bad thing we're not advocating its use it's just the local name for it well is it a bad thing or should of course it is take it back like it's a bad thing okay it's a bad thing because it's i mean it's a poor name for a sex worker and sex workers deserve better treatment than being called that name yeah that's just the name of the place again not advocates for its use okay um before we close out speaking about the word slut um for all you slutty friends out there if you haven't heard of a podcast they're called monogamy disrupted and you can get them on twigger twitter did i say twigger man it is it is getting cray cray up in here you can get them on twitter on monogamy disrupt and they have podcasts malik and nordia they're uh obviously monogamish and they recently spoke about the word slut on their podcast when they did a mailbag episode.

So go and check them out. But otherwise, this is us signing off. We're going to go to the party now. All right, Dee, so the party. Look, in a nutshell, how do you feel about it? What were your thoughts? Well, I've met cheese graters that would be more fun to masturbate with. Yep. Up yours, Ziggy, with a wah-wah brush, so to speak. What the fuck? You like that? Did that just happen? Did we just trip back to the 60s? Look, guys, the party wasn't great. It wasn't great for a number of reasons for both of us. One, the lighting. So upon entry, the lighting was too dark. There was no lighting.

It was just dark. It was like really was it was like really really dark yeah too dark i mean there's a difference between lighting that's you know trying to create a bit more of an ambience and then just darkness and there was a few tea lights on the candles on the ground but people couldn't see like it was ridiculous beyond beyond sensual i would say well i mean it would have been good if it was one one of those rooms where no matter who comes in, you're allowed to touch them and fuck them. What are those things called? Just a dark room. Oh, yeah. It was a dark room.

It was literally a dark room. Yeah. That's what it was. So that was a bit disappointing for us, and so I guess, yeah. Every time you open the fridge, people got startled. That was a fridge? No. Speaking – But that was a joke.

You don't necessarily have to tell the truth in a joke all right well hey d you might want to take this because i didn't actually get to see the counter but speaking of fridges the what um the counter oh well you mean food speaking of fridges speaking of drinks let's let's talk quickly about that what was your impression of that and then everybody out there, remember, we paid $150 to attend this party. We bought our own alcohol, right? So it's $150 literally just to be in a room with people. Thankfully, we did bring our own alcohol because I had to scull it, a lot of it.

Sorry, chug it, chug it.

So the the food so there was a bag of open uh crisps like dorito sort of style i think they were they weren't dorito they weren't flavored doritos i think they were like just salted doritos which which was okay because it kind of made them good for dipping which was okay but the they were literally just in a bag with the bag turned down i don't really have a problem with doritos like like that that's not that i should have probably started somewhere else but that's the best thing on the table that's probably of most interest there is that's the best thing on the table yeah so from there it really goes downhill i mean we You've got some dips to go with the with the doritos nothing terribly exciting but nothing horrible either i mean i'd be happy to have those stuffed in front of me but the thing that really really did it for me was the massive pile and i use the term pile quite literally the pile of uh ginger biscuits oh ikea ginger biscuits Ikea Bint of those didn't you well because i couldn't see anything so i wandered over there thinking i'm starving i'll get something to eat and um yeah we made the mistake of not eating before yeah that was a rookie error but i guess look at the end of the day you know nibbles and stuff at a party nibbles and nibbles whatever you know you can go as simple or as elaborate as you like.

But the key takeaway here is actually, I think, presentation. You know, they'd opened the dips, to my understanding, without even, you know, putting them in another container. It was just the lid was off it. They'd opened the crisps without pouring them into a bowl. It was just that they were sitting there open, you know, the bag was sitting there on the table.

We ran out of – we also ran out of mixes after the first 45 minutes yeah and that's this is not the first time this has happened for this particular party host where they've run out of alcohol or run out of mixes and you find yourself consuming wow god we were drinking like a 16 year old we were drinking red bull and don't be going stealing my jokes red bull that was my joke that was your joke and it's i i can't believe we i used to drink that when I was younger because I tell you, I was not happy.

Well, when I brought it over to you, there were three other people standing chatting to you and they all said, what is that horrible smell? Yeah, what is that smell? Oh, it's me. Sorry. Sozzy. Yeah, it was me actually that time around. Yeah. And not for the usual reasons. No.

So look, the food and drinks were when, you know, they left a lot to be desired um something that we always do is we took along our plastic outdoor wine cups as well and we always do that take that to parties and a few of the other people that were at the party were going that is such a great idea because the plastic cups that the host had provided were those really flimsy thin plastic cups that you can barely hold without them crumbling in your hand so if you guys out there there do attend a party like that, like a house party or something, don't be afraid to take your own like hard plastic beach wine glass or something.

Yeah, go with plastic though because you don't want anyone glassing you if you get anything wrong. Exactly. That's why I take plastic because I'm pretty sure there's a few people that would glass me if they got the chance. Yeah.

And look, just one more thing I guess about the actual – Including actual including see me as well one more thing about the actual surroundings of the party before we talk about what happened at the party itself but they had uh blow-up beds on the floor now these block beds had obviously just been purchased i'm guessing for this party that about four or five of them laid around the the office at the time um none of them had sheets or anything on them so they were just literally bare blow-up mattresses on the floor um with a few tea light candles scattered around there was no pillows no sheets no nothing and so i was and and then there was not even really a box of tissues or anything next to them or any kind of like lube or condoms or anything like that um so there were condoms and lube i don't think you saw them yeah yeah well we didn't get close enough to the bed no yeah so it's just about making your party guests feel welcome, feel invited, and making sure that they have everything there that they need to enjoy the evening.

I mean, you're already surrounding people in, you know, an interesting atmosphere with other people. Some people might be nervous. No tissues, no towels, though. Pardon? No tissues or towels. No tissues, no towels? Yeah, so like nowhere to clean up after the fact. I mean, everyone's just walking out with a box full of lube. Yeah, that's true. A box of lube. Yeah. A box of lube's no fun. Bocco lubo. Well, it's fun to start with, but then like at the end of the night when you're leaving, I'm sure that's no fun. Less fun. So yeah, I mean, it just comes down to making people feel comfortable.

I think that's, I mean, look, we could probably talk a little bit more about the fact that it was an office party there were no desks so i went there with there was a desk that middle stand-up thing big desk big fuck off desk listen you're gonna have an office sluts party and tell people to come dressed up for for an office party oh that's another thing bent over tables i mean come on i went there with this idea of i'm gonna be able fulfill my fantasy tonight, and I was sorely disappointed by that. So I think just be aware that it was an open, warehouse-y type space.

Yeah, well, no, it was just an empty office. There was nothing in it other than the big boardroom table. What were you going to mention there? You said you had something to mention. No? I don't remember. Can't remember? No, it surely wasn't that important. Okay.

But then, look, the evening took a bit of a bit of a downward trend um we we started talking to different people some people there were quite new other people were getting quite drunk um i was a bit worried about two ladies actually that were very very new and very very drunk was their first event and they were blind drunk yeah and they were kind of pushed onto a bed and and kind of not they were they kind of started playing with each other they'd known each other before the night but it was yeah it was uh i think their inhibitions really just went out the window well i mean jeez getting shit-faced will do that i mean i'm a lot more of a bastard when i'm drunk and so I think that was a bit worrying for me.

I actually spoke to the guy that they came with and said, you know, are they okay? And he said, yes, I plan to fuck them both later. Yeah. There was a guy there that has ghosted us and also not turned up to a number of dates a number of times in the past, which was quite funny. Yeah, especially the way you handled that. Do you want to run people through the way you handled it? I was taking the piss but I walked in and he was like, hey, we're supposed to meet up and I legitimately couldn't remember him because it was about 12 months ago.

I said, no, I don't really recall and then he was giving me identifying descriptions and I was like, no, I can't remember and then he went into it a little bit more and I went, hold on a second, You're the guy that didn't turn up on two dates. You know, you just literally didn't turn up on the date whilst we were at the date. And then the third date we were supposed to go to, he sends us a text message morning of being all like, I'm in Australia. Sorry, I forgot. And then ghosted us. So that was pretty funny.

I did walk up to him and when I finally realized, I took the piss and said, oh're that guy that just basically blew us off thanks very much yeah that that's who he was but you um yeah you you dealt with that really uh really smoothly and tactfully i think yeah i was having fun by just saying oh yeah you're a cunt like without saying that out loud yeah that's that's what you quite obviously meant for everyone there a number of single guys there, two of them that I actually quite enjoyed. I did ask one to play. He already told me that he had a date with somebody else at the party to play with.

So I got rejected there, which is cool. And then the second guy that we were talking to for a while started, again, he was having a few drinks, started to get a bit pissed. And then we were basically saying, well, it's either now or never, you know, go dress down. So I went into the bathroom to dress down and here's where it all went downhill. Went further downhill. Went further downhill. It was already like on a very, very slippery slope. So do you want to tell everybody what happened now at this point?

Well, at this point I got sick of being at the party and you were gone for a while and by the time you got back the guy that you're interested in playing with who we probably shouldn't have been interested in playing with anyway because of how drunk he was um i think it was kind of one of those well let's do it because we're here and you know sort of I suppose. But the other thing you've failed to mention is that we're outnumbered like five to one single guy to couple as well. It was a huge offset that actually some of the other couples mentioned to us as well, the ones we managed to talk to.

But, yeah, so you came out of the toilet and basically I said, fuck it, let's go home. Yeah, so I'd come out and I'd been in there dressing down. I came out in my lingerie and my heels and stuff and I get out there and Dee's like, we're going. And obviously for me, there's a bit of a disconnect, like what the fuck is going on? And he was like, that's it, we're going, let's get out of here. I mean, look, it was a shit circumstance. There was a lot of miscommunication between the two of us.

There was a lot of misunderstandings of what was going on, of what the expectations were, and it did lead to us actually having a bit of a fight. A bit of a fight? On the way out of the, you know, we were getting into the taxi. We had a disagreement and spoke about the party, spoke about what happened.

Obviously, I was, again, not really understanding what was going on on so i was trying to put the pieces together of what happened in the 10 minutes i was in the bathroom and from your perspective you were standing out there on your own with no one to talk to everybody starts really fucking crazy like fucking like everywhere lots of men um and then on top of that the guy that we were going to play with basically abandoned me because of a 10-minute delay. Yeah, it was less than exciting.

So we had to work through that over the next few days after we'd left the party and took a bit of a moment to assess what happened and how that could possibly be avoided in the future. But it was a really, really shit follow-up to what could have been an amazing party.

party you know the theme the idea what we were wearing i thought was all really hitting yeah but you've kind of missed half of that as well i mean we were the there were only a few people there that were dressed as you were intent as you intended to or as you asked them to be dressed as they were asked to be dressed in theme yeah in theme as office sexy, whatever that might look like to you. It doesn't include a pair of fucking ripped jeans that were not ripped because they were supposed to be ripped. They were just old and fucked and ripped.

And a T-shirt, you know, like that's not – unless you work for Google, that's not appropriate work attire. Yeah. So you're right. You know, we did go there, I think – I went there with quite high expectations. I was really excited because it is a fantasy of mine and we're dressed up and, you know, we don't have these parties very often in Singapore and so I had high expectations. We do have them. We just don't go to them very often and this is exactly one of the fucking reasons we don't. Yeah, they keep letting us down a little bit, I think. A little bit.

I mean, this is number two behind the worst party we've ever been to. Worst house party we've ever been to. Yeah. Which, I mean, there was a dude there smoking a fucking pipe, like a big old frickin', what's his name? Sherlock Holmes pipe. Yeah, big fucking Sherlock Holmes wavy pipe thing, like a stove pipe. I'll see you next time.

a pipe like a big old freaking what's his name sherlock holmes yeah big fucking sherlock holmes wavy pipe thing like a stovepipe he was sucking on that thing so you know it's going to be hard to top that but this was certainly the second worst yeah it was it was a bad and and look the follow-up definitely for us over the following few days was was not great in the cD household. I mean, Dee, any advice for how we probably could have avoided that or dealt with that better just for everybody who is out there?

Not gone at all would have been a good start because I don't think, certainly I wasn't in the right mindset to be going to that event to start with, which I feel like I did actually voice but was kind of shut down on that.

Then after that the party once it started to become obvious that it was a bad party i think we should have made the decision earlier just to get out of there and go and do something else yeah that's true i think if i was going to say if i was going to say anything i think we probably should have called it um we should have gone there assess the situation gone this is not sexy for us or not where we want to be or you know we don't want to really play in this environment um you know blow up mattresses on the ground with no sheets so let's go and let's maybe go and have some drinks and dinner ourselves probably would have been the better way to go pull the plug yeah i mean again so just for everyone out there to understand a blow up mattress on the on the floor without a sheet on if it's if the party's been advertised in that manner and you pay for Thank you.

Again, so just for everyone out there to understand, a blow-up mattress on the floor without a sheet on, if the party's been advertised in that manner and you pay for that, then that's a very different scenario. But, you know, we turned up to a party that cost us a lot of money for what it was. And realistically, there was no investment. There was no reciprocal investment on the part of the person who organized the party. Yeah, that's true, I guess. When you do pay money, you expect a certain level of party to go with the money that you're spending, right?

So if you're going to invest that money, and look, we actually worked it out. She made, what, five grand that night?

Yeah, but also, well, roughly, yeah, but also, you know, even the things around, like, the the esky sorry the the cooler chili bin whatever you want to call it um it was full before we got there and it had a bag of a five kilo bag of ice in it that's what filled it up so you know there was no room for you to put your drinks away there was nowhere nowhere for you to cool your we bought a bottle of wine and some and half a bottle of vodka i'm really glad we only took a half bottle but um the wine we had nowhere to keep it cool nothing you know it was just really underwhelming in terms of somebody actually giving a shit about their guests yeah that was the biggest thing for me it was just i was fucking pissed off that we'd invested this time and money and we hadn't seen each other in a while either so it upset me that we'd been in we you know we'd invested in this bullshit and had it really turned to custard and just purely because the person who was organizing the party was not interested in keeping their guests happy, with the exception of having a mountain of males wandering around, single males that if you wanted to fuck, you could.

Yeah, that's an accurate description. I think you're right. Yeah, so fuck that noise. She invited us to another party. We won't be like this weekend. I was like, nah. I'm glad you didn't mention that to me. What, that she invited us to another party? Yeah, because I think my response would have been, because if you mentioned it to me in any sort of way, thinking that we might be intending to go, my response probably would have been fairly negative. No, I just said to her, thanks, not interested.

No, no, that's,'s yeah but you didn't mention it to me no no no god no yeah um but yeah that's that's i guess i'll wrap up on the the party a bit disappointed but maybe we will be able to fulfill my fantasy and host a party similar like that because i do think it's a great theme and i think it could be done very well yes um it can be but you were kind of terrified going in as well i'm nervous you know i have we haven't been to parties like this for a while so you get a bit out of maybe going to fucking parties like this for a long time to come either just a heads up for you out of use to all right well uh thanks everyone for listening so coming up we do have the interview and uh but otherwise we hope you enjoyed uh i guess hearing a little bit about the parties and things that went wrong and maybe can learn from ongoing mistakes that pop up every now and then.

Yeah, don't go to shitty parties. Don't do it. Welcome, everyone, to a new segment on the Swinging Down Under podcast. We are joined today from New Zealand, actually, with Simon. New Zealand. New Zealand. I'm sure he'll school us. But welcome, Simon. Thank you very much for being our news segment, Guinea Pig. Hey, no worries at all. Happy to help out. You guys are awesome and I've listened to you quite a bit, so more than happy. Thank you, actually.

So for everyone out there, we put out a little bit of help us uh on twitter and through our recent podcast and uh we wanted to show some cultural diversity on the podcast and talk a lot about sex in other countries and simon put his hand up uh connected with us on twitter and i latched on to him as soon as i possibly could dug the claws in and said hey buddy can you come on our podcast so we decided the east island of australia would be the first place we'd talk to. That's exactly correct. Really French now. Sorry, Simon. No, that's fine. Hey, you're a Kiwi. Get on my podcast.

Hey, I get pretty excited when anyone from kind of this area actually connects with us on social media. I'm like, holy shit, it's another Australian Kiwi person in Asia Pacific generally. You actually get pretty excited about anyone reaching out to you on Twitter. That's true, I do, yeah. Even Facebook you still get excited about, which is hilarious. Yeah, well, hey, I'm an excitable kind of gal. What can I say? Anyway, look, the focus here is on Simon. Simon, introduce you a little bit yourself. So tell us a little bit about you.

Give the listeners an understanding of like, well, for anyone out there, maybe, again, who's geographically challenged, where is New Zealand? Where do you live? Where do you grow up? Give us all of the details on Simon the Kingster. I live in New Zealand now, which is a little tiny butt-fuck of a place just off the East Coast of Australia.

In Crosschurch, which is even smaller, butt fuck of a place just off the east coast australia it's in crosschurch which is even smaller it's only about 400 000 people here um i grew up in brisbane though uh in australia east coast again which is why you said that in the intro i am polyamorous but currently single which is a weird place to be in for me does that make you uniamorous like a unicorn polyamorous uniamorous yeah let's go with that uh i wouldn't i definitely wouldn't call myself a unicorn though i'm more into timing uh maybe i don't know i don't know how it is to be single and polyamorous it's it's weird i have don't have family here anymore my mom lives in china my little brother lives in melbourne but i do have my absolute potato with a dog brutus oh brutus nice nice we do we do like uh hearing about people's uh dogs on this show we have uh some friends over in the uk they have a dog called yoko so you know there you go we're all we're all about the fur babies and naming them over here and swinging down under my dog's an absolute potato of a thing because it is an english bulldog so he struggles to do a lot of things like to move and it can get quite entertaining awesome so so poly polyamorous but first time being being single so in the in your previous relationship he was born single he's born single but in your previous relationships were you uh so so you had your primary partner and then you also had a secondary or were you somebody's secondary?

How did that all work? I always had a primary and had secondaries from that. Polyamory and Christchurch is very linked in with the kink scene here.

So it's more you'd have your relationship and you'd have play partners, guess um as as part of that not so much full-on relationships even though with the kink play partner it's very you can get very very intense so it does feel like you've got an extra relationship there because you've got after care and all of that sort of thing you've got to look after as well well that's that's actually really interesting and we'll talk a little bit more about some of your kink because I have seen your sex toys. So we'll chat about that a little bit later. Not personally, but you've stumbled across them.

I sent through a video of them so you could see. Yeah, it's quite a video. Yeah, yeah. Well, the thing, I couldn't put it into a picture, so I thought, okay. No shit, you couldn't. There were a lot of sex toys. We actually thought we had quite a few, but I have to say, I'm surprised the island you're on is not sinking. It's got half of China on it and a good portion of Europe as well.

We'll actually share the YouTube link for your sex toys so our listeners can get a sensation of some of the toys on the toys on sensation is right sensation exactly correct now now simon i i actually did some research for this podcast okay i actually sat down and did some actual research to tell people a little bit about new zealand i realize that's a bit of a mind blown out there for a lot of people because we do tend to fly by the seat of our pants on this podcast. And I'm pretty sure I might fall asleep partway through this research statement.

You may, but it is about sex, so that may keep you interested. Not when we're talking about the age of consent in New Zealand. All right, here we go. A couple of facts about New Zealand that I found. So the age of consent in New Zealand is 16 years old. New Zealand does not have a Romeo and Juliet law. The Romeo and Juliet clause is if they're both underage, they fall in love, have sex, and then one of them proceeds to grow older and become overage. And then they continue having sex.

They fall into the Romeo and Juliet clause, which means that they started prior to the point of the age of consent. So while I was looking at this information, actually, I stumbled upon a local journalist in New Zealand in 2016 saying that, you know, should we lower the age of consent in New Zealand? Simon, what are your thoughts on that? No, absolutely not. Wow.

Just fucking, Jesus, you can't throw that out there that's a big question and after you answer that question simon can you also tell us how we can achieve world peace thank you very much yeah hey no worries at all stop fighting um no honestly the the age of consent is already quite low compared to know, the likes of the United States where it's 18 or even 21. 16 for me is decent enough because people are going to explore when they're teenagers. There's no two ways about that. No matter where you are in the world, that is going to happen. I think 16 is about right.

I lost mine before 16, but that's not the point. Well, it kind of is. I'm about to ask you that exact thing so hold hold that thought hold it up while I was looking at this I was thinking okay well when did people actually lose their virginity and I actually came upon a sex therapist called Mary Fisher and she says let's not say the loss of virginity let's instead say making your sexual debut and while I was hey. What is going on here? D-list, let it happen. No, I can't. Ease it in. Relax and let it ease in. Oh, man, I'm going to need more lubricant. Relax, let it ease in.

Okay, so in- Right, I've got plenty. So in New Zealand, the average virginity loss is 17.8 years old. In Iceland, the average is the youngest anywhere in the world is in Iceland, and it's 15.6 years old. But as we said there before, the age of consent is 16. Simon, when did you lose your virginity? I lost mine in Australia, so it wasn't quite the same. I didn't move here until I was, I think I was 16 when I moved here. I lost mine 14 and a half-ish, give or take. 14 and a half-ish, so yeah, about slightly. He really remembers the exact timing and date of it.

It was a special debut for you, Simon. It was a special, it was critical. It was not, I was. If you're ready there, be shocked, Simon. I'm pretty sure she didn't. I'm almost certain she did not. Dee is from, since you've spent some time there in Queensland, Simon, Dee's from far north Queensland. Dee, when did you lose your virginity? I was young, very, very young. I was seven. Gee, bollocks. No, not bollocks. Sex, in fact. Almost needed a paddle pop stick and some duct tape to keep it up, though. That's the honesty of it. Yeah. Yeah. But, look, I did have a fairly funky next-door neighbour.

She was a little older than me, still well under the age of consent, but a little older than me. And, yeah, we were experimenting. Yeah. I mean, it's generally when I say say it people kind of lose their minds but it's not well I mean it's not that I'm unproud of it it's just that it's a lot of people think it's weird so yeah it's not doesn't generally come up in conversation unless of course somebody asked you to explain it on a podcast with a few thousand people listening. Well, mine was 13. I was 13 years old when I lost my virginity. So, yeah, similar-ish to you, Simon.

Yeah, I feel like I was a late bloomer now. Well, not when we start talking to the other countries, which is why this segment we're so excited about. But let's crack on.

Just a heads up, one of us is more excited than the other the other countries which is why this uh this pod why this segment we're so excited about but um let's let's crack on just a heads up one of us is more excited than the other i'm wondering if you could figure out who that is oh come on d get on board oh i'm on board but uh that doesn't mean i won't pull the piss from the sidelines or well the peanut gallery yeah exactly all right so uh so you lost your virginity then when did you start masturbating what age oh jesus um see no the thing the thing i don't think you realize d is that this these are questions that i ask on my podcast it would have been about 12 13 i think it was from the the what do you call from the junk mail that you get, you know, your Kmart catalogs with women in bras and things like that.

And I thought, ooh, that looks nice. Kmart, keeping it classy, Simon. It could have been at least Target, I mean. It's all about the Kmart for me, mate. Okay, okay.

I was was proud as punch i think most men are when they first shoot their load um going through that they think they're the only man on earth that's found this great thing that feels amazing and i thought i was the king of the earth i was like oh nobody knows about this this feels great i'm gonna be the man and then everyone else yeah all right i actually can't i can't comment but d was that did that happen to you did you think like god damn i'm amazing look at me i've just come well i did but that's probably because i was masturbating prior to being able to come no but i mean when you actually came proper yeah yeah absolutely i mean i i've been sort of hanging out for it i was quite.

So I didn't, yeah, I mean, I didn't really go through puberty until I was in my, like, middle teens, 14, 15, even 16, sort of around that era. So when it actually happened for me, it was like, thank fuck, this is about time. Like everyone else has been making their socks hard for their mum for the last two years. I've never understood the sock thing. Yeah, me neither. It's weird. Yeah, it is weird. I'm just going to throw that out there. It's really fucking weird. For all of you out there that did it with your sock, no judgment. Let's talk a little bit about Kiwiland.

So tell us what your thoughts are on sexuality in new zealand you know what what is it at the moment what's what's happening maybe what's different since you've lived there in terms of people being a little bit more expressive or is it oppressed you know what what can you tell us about sexuality in new zealand it's it's definitely not repressed over here there is quite a few like we have a fetish ball that goes on in the three main centers every year four main centers every year uh which is very very popular used to just being christchurch but now they've sorted up into into that and that gets advertised on billboards and stuff like that here so i definitely couldn't say that it's it's repressed but very open when it comes to our prostitution laws and everything like that as well so i think new zealand is in is quite open and quite uh progressive when it comes to that sort of stuff i think new zealand as a country has always been quite progressive in general when it comes to you think of kate shepherd who was a huge women's rights uh advocate was from new zealand as well so i think yeah new New Zealand's very much at the forefront, freedom in general, especially sexual freedom.

I would agree with that as well. In my experience, I've spent a bit of time in New Zealand for work and obviously part of that I kind of keep on top of what's going on politically as well, just out of curiosity. And it does appear that New Zealand's, I mean mean in all sorts of political realms seems to be leading the charge in terms of what is deemed acceptable I mean you know female prime minister that sort of thing as well as that's just had a baby by the way exactly and she's the first head of state to take maternity leave as part of her time in office.

You know, that's something that I think a lot of other countries would suffer with, but New Zealand's a long way ahead of the curve on that. That's really quite impressive. Yeah, another cool thing that's just happened in the last couple of days actually is that people who have suffered from domestic violence are now allowed leave to help, basically personal leave, to be able to help get through that. So that's really cool as well. That is really progressive. So you've got billboards with your kink ball advertised. I mean, I don't think I know anywhere else that... Well, hang on.

Australia allows... I mean, you see Sexpo advertised. You do see Sexpo. Which is a similar...

I mean, granted, it it's not dedicated to kink but it's certainly got a kink aspect to it as well i mean it sounds like that you know a lot about the kink scene and they're um you know progressive and kind of accepting over there tell us about you know you obviously be interacting with a whole heap of different kinds of people through both kink and and your polyamorous communities but in terms of other things like other non-monogamy groups or the LGBTQI group, you know, what's that like in New Zealand for those other, you know, people that are kind of approaching sexuality in their own way?

It's very, very open in New Zealand in general.

All of the groups that I've been a part of and that I've talked to and known have all been very very welcoming um the lgbtqi especially uh we haven't had the issues that some some other countries had with the with lesbians being against trans i don't know if you've heard about that at all because they haven't gone through the struggles that that women have in their earlier ages and etc which is me absolutely we haven't had that here we are a very open-minded people until you get to the rural areas which is kind of where it gets a wee bit if be where you know you've got your farmers that have been doing their stuff for 40 years and it's you know straight down the road and that's it there's no two questions about it that's the only place in New Zealand where it does get a wee bit iffy but the the swingers groups and everything here are really, really open and welcoming, which is really fantastic because they're all about expanding the group and mutual happiness, for lack of a better term.

Yeah, I'm not surprised to be brutally honest on it.

It's, you know, in my experience with New Zealand and certainly the time that I've spent there it's generally been quite open to a whole lot of things now the whole country folk deal or the whole you know things change as you head out to the country it's I don't think that's particularly different in many countries I can't say any because I haven't experienced them all but certainly the ones I've been to or been involved involved with, we've certainly found that when you get further out into the country, people become a little less understanding.

And I think that comes down to exposure in a lot of ways. I love my parents to death, but I do understand that they have some complexities to their understanding of the world and also to the understanding of how they should exist in it around people who are gay or of different cultures, religions, things like that. Yeah, absolutely. And the one thing that I forgot to mention in there is we have, for lack of a better term, a cult in the South Island of New Zealand as well called Gloria Vale, who's a very, very religious cult.

And I had the opportunity a few years ago to go out there and meet them and talk to them and spend a day with them which was really really interesting one of the things that they said is people ask us about homosexuality and we answer we don't breed them and i'm sitting there going nature versus nurture is that argument really isn't it yeah absolutely and that's really interesting yeah that's very much nurture at that point it's not nature so they're they might you know some i think for me personally somebody is homosexual from from birth for lack of better term really and then you know their upbringing forms which way they want to go whereas these people these these kids who potentially could be could be gay um get that nurtured out of them very very quickly in in places like that and their homestead for lack of a better term their area is in the middle of nowhere as well so they've only got what they've got there it's almost like it's a tunnel view for lack of a better term yeah absolutely there's no nothing outside of of what I know and what I believe and how could anybody not be able to see that?

And, you know, that can be across all different facets of life, business, you know, business, social, personal, political.

There's a whole realm of things that as soon as you get to an extreme version of that, it becomes potentially a very big problem for the people at the other end of the spectrum yeah let's let's not go into politics let's not talk all day about that yeah absolutely well let's let's get back to uh let's get back to new zealand then do you have any kiwi porn i'm curious i haven't actually looked up any kiwi porn and i'm curious when you're looking at porn this is porn this is new zealand porn not not porn with kiwi that's correct yeah this is new zealand porn do you do you have any like when you're looking at porn do you try to find some i guess locally sourced porn i've got to be honest i don't really look for it and anything that i do find from it is usually amateur filmed as such.

We did have a magazine called NZX, which was a hardcore magazine. But apart from that, nothing that I've found really. There are a couple of people that film for people that I know, but I've never really seen that go up in anywhere near a professional capacity.

So is there any kink magazines or anything like that for you guys in nz um i wouldn't say kink magazines that uh definitely not made by new zealanders just that just that one hardcore magazine that i can remember that i know of interesting so so you're in a couple of you're in a couple of groups so you've got you know you mentioned there you know the kink ball you You mentioned your polyamorous group and all those things. I mean, tell us, share with us, how do you meet like-minded people in New Zealand?

I mean, I've heard you sort of speak on some of your podcasts, and I'll talk about that a little bit later. You've obviously got a reasonable community there. I mean, what does that look like?

How would people go about finding others in new zealand when it when it comes to kink bet life is definitely the the main one it is used a lot it's basically social network it's facebook for dirty fuckers like me basically we're all dirty fuckers but life's also used by swingers and a lot of swingers events go up through that as well so it's kind of a and this is why i said earlier the kink scene and the the swinger scene here are quite intrinsically linked with each other you get the same sort of people across both obviously there's a few differences where you get some kinksters that are monogamous and some swingers that aren't kinky of course but there is a lot of crossover through those the other one is facebook Look, in Christchchurch well sorry in new zealand we've got quite a large polyamory new zealand facebook page that people can find and join and and go from there uh in christchurch we've only really just started that up we have basically like a drinks and chat every couple of months and yeah we welcome people to go through that we had basically a polyamorous discussion night uh a little while ago where we had about 45 50 people uh which was fantastic in a town of only 400k um so that was really exciting and really cool as well so yeah there's plenty of ways to get into it here because we are so much so such an open open book basically and we're allowed to be in in new zealand so yeah, it makes it quite easy for people who are interested and who want to learn about it.

Yeah, that sounds amazing. I mean, you know, as you know, we're now based in Asia and Singapore. So coming from Australia to here, I mean, we do find that resources and opportunities to meet like-minded people or mingle events are quite limited. So it's good to know that there's communities in New Zealand or in Christchurch that are kind of forming and catching up. It's great to hear. I think it'll get larger and larger as polyamory becomes more of a pop culture thing as well.

I remember I think it was Willow Smith told her parents that she don't think she could ever be monogamous, so that wasn't. Which I think just adds even more to the rumours that they are already in the swinging lifestyle anyway. So I'm sure that that upbringing probably brought that back into the media again. Well, I'm really hoping I managed to run into those two in a swingers club, just FYI. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are thinking that. That's a sexy couple. Yeah, Jada Pinker-Smith, Will Smith, definitely. I'm like, I'm sure there are a lot of people who are thinking that.

Yeah, nothing. That's a sexy couple. Yeah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith, definitely. Tell us a little bit about your upbringing. So your upbringing in terms of, you know, in your family, you know, how was sex discussed? Was it discussed at all, you know, in school and education? And, you know, what would have impacted the person that Simon is today with all of his, you know, kinky fuckery that's on his bed right now? So it was interesting for me because I grew up with my grandmother. So we didn't really have any sort of chat.

I think it was a bit too awkward for her to talk about that, being considerably older older so there was no talk through that even from my auntie who was there as well i didn't really have any sort of sexual chat i had had the obligatory school sexual education which is this is how you put a condom on on a banana yeah exactly exactly and these are the diseases you can get if you have unprotected sex which is you know that's okay my biggest issue is we're not teaching kids enough around the consent Thank you. Exactly.

And these are the diseases you can get if you have unprotected sex, which is, you know, that's okay. My biggest issue is we're not teaching kids enough around the consent side of things and coercion and that sort of thing. And that's, I kind of want to get into, which is part of the reason I started my podcast is to educate.

And, you know, I've, I've been that guy before that has, has scared a woman, you know, know which is not intentional but by my actions in the way that i was talking it made them concerned and i sat there and went young men aren't being taught this stuff so we need to get into it and and teach this stuff because it's not happening i think most men can say they've probably put themselves in that sort of position and again again, it comes down to that total lack of education. You don't realize that you've gotten to the point that you have until you do.

And then hopefully, you know, certainly in my case, and I could imagine in yours, your moral compass goes, whoa, hang on, this is where I'm at right now is not who I am as a person. And you and back away from that but yeah that ability to have that conversation with yourself a long time before then I don't think is something that any male or female for that matter of typically well versed in certainly out of Australia and it sounds like New Zealand as well.

Yeah I've only noticed this switch in myself like the last two years maybe max and i was looking back at myself during my university days and whatnot and just thinking i was an absolute like an asshole you know that's that i was looking at and going that's not who i want to be that's not what i want to be doing and i took it back a couple of steps and went what caused this and i said that and i like it boils down to the education side of things and how i was taught to interact with is that it needs to go right back to to how we're taught in schools and you know we we laugh and joke when you know in the second grade this a young boy catches you know we had a game called catching and kiss you know if you didn't want to get kissed then you had to run away which is you know even even something like that is is quite can be quite damaging because guys will keep chasing and chasing and finally catch a girl and then plant one on her and that's seed in that it's okay to keep chasing these people because you'll eventually get what you want, whether they want to or not.

Yeah, gosh, I actually, I've never even thought of it that way. I actually forgot that Catch and Kiss even existed as a game, but I'd never. I didn't. I got chased so much. It was horrible. Everybody be chasing your ass. Do you even still now? Do you still running away?

Yep, yep that's right i'm on the other side of where there's a isolation chamber between c and i right now just to keep their hands off me it's a curse beauty's a curse no you are you are correct though i think that um you know a lot of people have been really focusing on this uh recent not just consent but but education growth uh helping people to understand their own sexuality, understand sexuality of others, and really how to interact. Yeah, normalising sexuality is really what it is. Yeah. And actually being able to have the conversations that we need to around it.

Yeah, without being scared or showing fear around that as well. Yeah.

All right, so 14 half you're you're uh having you've you've lost your virginity you're masturbating to kmart catalogs how did you get where you are to today then what what was the um your journey that led you to to where you are today okay so obviously i moved to new zealand and living here and going through my stuff here it was a complete upheaval for me it's not something that i actually wanted to do at the time it was it was a family force thing um so moved over here and i joined bet life quite early on um but didn't really get into it it wasn't until an old friend of mine actually got in touch with me and said hey you should come to this coffee thing i know you're fucking kinky as hell and i was like okay sounds perfect i'm in yeah so that's the cool thing that the tng here which is the next generation which is 35 and under kinks have a coffee every two weeks and it's a really cool way to try and basically integrate new people into into the scene and into the the group so i went i went along to one of those and thought thought hey, this is for me.

I can do this. And I ended up being with the girl who took me, who wanted to take me to that. So we were dating for quite a while and obviously doing our little thing. It sort of grew from there and as we went through more we call them tastings and so tastings is a little bit of one sort of aspect of kink. So I went along through a lot of those and a lot of workshops as well. And I found out that I was interested in a lot of different things. Like the biggest one that I didn't think I'd be interested in was electro. And now I'm probably my favorite thing to do.

So, yeah, that was sort of my journey. It wasn't exciting, if I'm completely honest. It was just... I think probably telling other people out there that you're into electro, I think most people would clarify that as pretty goddamn exciting. I mean, I don't know. Do you reckon? Yeah, yeah, definite qualification of exciting. The man has a fucking machine on his bed, for Christ's sake.

I've been on the receiving end of electro, and I, unlike you, have figured out that I am not into electro look a lot of people aren't for example i spent 800 british pounds on a on a tens machine originally used for muscle relaxation and um helping induce birth in women as well and it can it can simulate um contractions for men as well and that's when when i could handle that and i got aroused by that for the first time that's when i went yep this is me and just sort of went from there yeah you know what one thing i will say about the kink community is that you know you you guys will just turn anything into a kink toy anything you're like oh yeah tens machine for muscle're a tens machine for muscle relaxation.

Fuck yeah, we'll do something with that. So, the best one is, you know those tennis rackets that you use for killing flies? Yes. The electrified one? I do, and I think I know where you're going with this, but carry on.

We've adapted that to have it just as the end instead of a racket, and then we use to zap each other nice like a prod like it's kind of a cattle sexual cattle proddy thing yeah with a lot lower voltage but we do use cattle prods as well okay now that's actually so that sounds um very exciting i think a cattle prod's got quite a bit of quite a bit of kick to it i've been on the receiving end on a few of those as well whilst dealing with cattle. So I can tell you that that would be very exciting. So it's definitely a jolt to the senses. Wow, you are the king of puns. That was pun-tastic.

Thank you very much, Simon. You've got to be very, very careful with what you're doing. And you've got to, it's kind of like rope as well. You've got to be knowledgeable, especially when it comes to pens machines, to know that the current runs between two points. So don't put that point across the heart or any vital organs or anything like that. Whereas obviously with rope, you've got to be sure not to tie it too hard and cut off blood supply. You've got to be knowledgeable about what you're doing with it. And that's with 99% of kink, I think, as well.

If you don't know what you're doing, learn first. Otherwise, things can go wrong. So how do you see it typically working in the kink community, certainly in your experiences in New Zealand?

Is it kind of like an apprentice scenario where, you know, you find somebody who knows more than you and then you learn from them and then work from there is that how it generally goes yeah it kind of um so like I said there's a lot of workshops around this sort of thing as well you can go to a workshop and learn from there you can just basically watch other people and learn like that or like you said you can find somebody who knows more about that a subject than than what you do like we have we had discussion nights and stuff like that as well but yeah you can definitely do like the master of star city of star vader sort of thing if you wanted to um but you went there instead of the instead of the you know the you went straight to the dark side of the force i noticed yeah yeah i wonder why.

I wonder why. Yeah, there's no straight journey to it. When it came to Electro, I read a lot of literature around it as well as learning from the person who ran the workshop. I guess I'm now one of the better Electro people in Christchurch, if not New Zealand.

All right uh so simon tell us what you might want to tell your fellow kiwis or really anybody out there listening to our podcast today about sexual expression if you could give some simon's top tips on sexual expression what would it be get into your local scene and talk about what you're into there's no kink shaming or even any sort of shaming when it comes to the kinks in New Zealand. If kink's not your thing and you're just into poly or non-monogamy, still get involved. Talk to people. See what their experiences are. See what they like. See what they're into.

And basically throw as much shit against the wall and see what sticks is what I would say. Experience as much as you can. Definitely. Nicely put. Well put, honestly. Very articulate because, you know, you were talking there about… Especially the throwing shit against wall thing. Throwing shit against wall, definitely. I'm a classy board. Because you're absolutely right. You said you went out there and educated yourself on what was available.

You've educated yourself on some of the tools your trade as well to make sure that you're you're using them correctly obviously there's an element of making sure that the the people that you're with are safe and and secure um you know i see really no difference in in the people in in our lifestyle swinging lifestyle educating themselves on what's available out there what's uh you know communicating with your partner understanding what your own rules and boundaries are i mean all of it kind of fits into the realm of just go out there and educate and understand what is your path i think and how how do you want to approach whatever lifestyle it is that you're going to approach well even if you find somebody that you consider a yoda in terms of their expertise you still have to you know a good Padawan, just to go back to where we were before, should always challenge the master as well.

You know, you should always be asking questions of them and you should always be expecting that there's things that they don't know. And anyone who's in any sort of lifestyle, like, you know, we are, and I use that as a group term, if you live on the fringes and you can't assume that everything you hear, read or are involved in is accurate just because of the person that you're talking to portrays it as such, you've got to be smarter than that.

You've got to keep an eye on what's going on out out in the world as well listen to multiple voices not just relying solely on yeah absolutely because everybody's got a different opinion different journey and and um certainly you know some of the aspects of it when it comes down to safety there's a good and bad and that can be found fairly quickly but you know there's a lot of other things out there that you never know till you try and sometimes you've got to make sure you understand what you're getting yourself into before you do that yeah that part of that that i just wanted to touch on there is if you're learning from one the danger is that that person's not actually all they cracked up to be so that that they they can turn bad and you don't notice it because that's all you're following.

Like Anakin Skywalker and Senator, what's his name? Jesus, there has been a lot of references in this podcast, I've got to tell you, boys. Yes, Star Wars, but not Star Wars. Yeah, so he didn't realise that he was actually going to the dark side.

So that can be the sort of thing that happens especially in the king scene here if you're just following one person they can lead you down a path that's actually not very good and you won't know because you're only dealing with this one person and that's where it becomes interesting with um with new people coming in who are just who have come in because of a relationship they've just joined or a relationship that's just started with them and a gangster and they're like, okay, yeah, I'll come along, blah.

And they're only following that one person and that's what makes it really quite interesting and can be quite dangerous as well. Yeah, and I mean I think, you know, as fellow podcasters, I think that we can all agree that there is no one correct way to approach. There's no one voice. So it's always a good idea to listen to multiple. I mean when we first started we listened to a few things Thank you. that we can all agree that there is no one correct way to approach. There's no one voice. So it's always a good idea to listen to multiple.

I mean, when we first started, we listened to a few things. And, yes, some things you'd go, yep, absolutely, that sounds amazing, that sounds sexy and interesting. And other things you'd go, you know what, probably not my flavor. So I get it in the king's name as well. All righty. Now, listen, we've mentioned you're a fellow podcaster.

So because you've been such a good good boy simon because you've been a new guinea pig on our segment d is pissing himself laughing right now that i'm calling you a good boy but give us give us an elevator pitch tell us about your podcast that you've just launched elevator pitch i mean you know this elevator is definitely headed down that's what i'm saying my podcast is called the a slight podcast it stands for advice sex love understanding and trust so we talk about all manner of sexy things and and what we're into We'll be right back.

that's what i'm saying my podcast is called the a slight podcast it stands for advice sex love understanding and trust so we talk about all manner of sexy things and what we're into and polyamory and we take advice from people i'm about to record a q a session which is kind of cool being able to actually get feedback from people and people asking for advice on on different things so i'm going to be doing that. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on Spotify now as well. I've just been launched on Spotify, which is awesome. All at the ASLUT podcast, which is really, really cool.

I talk to a couple of sex workers who have worked around the world. I talk to, you know, polyamorous people, monogamous people, kinky people uh people just getting involved in kink all sorts of stuff and um it's yeah basically a wide array of of different things and it's all based around that education of of sex and having just sexual discussions without having to feel like you're being oppressed or you can't say what you want to think. Well done. Yeah. Well done. It's much better than I could do. I would say C and I talk shit for 20 minutes to 40 minutes.

Sometimes people download it, sometimes they don't. Who can be sure, hey? And there's an internet involved somewhere there in between. My chats were meant to be like an hour max, and they've sort of evolved into about an hour and a half almost two hours at a time just because i keep rambling on so i guess i'm that's what has given me the the ability to talk a lot um even when it comes to my own podcast absolutely and i i do i love the acronym of your podcast so the a slut podcast advice sex. Advice, sex, love, understanding, trust. Bloody good job. Fantastic. I'm definitely a slut.

I'm just not sure whether I fit under the same sort of category as what you've got there. I'm just more slut. Don't worry, Dave, I'm definitely a slut, Bob. So see, just quietly. No, that's not just quietly. I'm proud about it. Yeah, that's not quiet. We're slutty and we're out and proud. That's exactly right. Out and proud sluts. See, you literally did a whole thing on how to get into C10. It's true. I know. And can I say there's been a few people that have utilized some of that information to their advantage.

You know who you by the way hey thanks thanks very much for chatting with us today sim we really appreciate you uh joining us for the launch of our new segment so uh cultural sexual diversity around the world thank you for sharing a little bit about you and and your uh i guess uh kink and your life and your time there in New Zealand. And your country. And your country. Thank you very much for having me. It's been really, really fun. And, again, I love having these discussions purely on the education basis, but it's also fun to talk to other people and hear about their experiences as well.

So thank you very much. No, thank you.

And for everybody out there who's listening, if you want to find Simon's link for his sex toy collection or or how to find his podcast you'll find that in the show notes um i'll make sure i get those up there and uh please do jump along and go and listen to some of his interviews uh some really interesting ones there he's up to episode six right now so he's just joining the the podcast community so jump over and support him we'd really appreciate it yep thank you thank you very much thanks Simon I know when he's losing her fucking mind a good orgasm will rattle that ride out of her there's nothing like a good hate fun We'll see you next time.