P58 – Desire Pearl 2017 Vol 2

Transcript

Hi there, my name is C. I'm Dee, and you're listening to Swinging Down Under. Our journey is a couple through the swinging lifestyle. Are you into open relationships? Or exploring new things in life? This is our podcast. Experiences, both good and bad, reviews and events, and more. Here's Swinging Down Under. Come on. Join us. Hey, sexy friends. Welcome to a brand new episode of Swinging Down Under. In this episode, we talk about how fantastic our brand new microphones are and how Dee really wasn't really too fast on making sure that they were actually working properly.

And, well, you guessed it, there is actually some audio issues coming from this actual episode as well. we are sorry about the the two last episodes having some audio issues we promise we'll be back with episode 59 with some high quality audio but otherwise thank you very much for listening and we hope you enjoy this is c and this is d and this is swinging Under. Just a quick vote out there for everyone. Welcome to episode 58 of the Swinging Down Under podcast. Who cares whether this is episode 58? I'm curious. I'm curious as to who cares that it's episode 58. I'm pretty sure it's nobody.

But C tells me it is. It's important. It's a lot of people. Lots of people are curious. Okay. So, everybody so everybody hopefully this time around and we haven't tested it because frankly i could not be asked he gets his cranky pants on when he has to balance microphones they suck it fucking kills me but we have two brand new microphones since our last one's exploded after three good years uh and yes this is episode 58 today we're going to finish up, it's volume 2 of our Desire Resort Stay.

And I've got some topics that I'm going to actually, Sexy, if you're good with this, I've got some things I'm going to mention, titles of things, and then you can tell me what your thoughts or remembrances are on the topic at hand. Given you're the only one who has the notes. I have notes. No, I actually have notes. No, I know. This is impressive. Babe, this is not the first time. Normally, I mean, this is pretty old school because you have them on a notepad. Yeah. Rather than an iPad. Ideas were flowing. You know, things were percolating. The juices were flowing. I had to get them down.

You know, I just had to let it come. That's totally fair. Yeah, juices were percolating. I had to let it come. Juices are percolating? I don't understand why. Yeah. That's two puns in one sentence and I got fucking nothing. Nobody wants percolating juices. Fist bump myself. Okay, sorry. You didn't fucking high-five yourself over there as much as you like. So, yes, the first half of this is going to be... You were going to fist yourself, did you say? No. I just feel like that's painful. I just don't understand the concept, really. I've seen it happen.

Yeah, we're worth nodding in agreeance that... Oh, well, I've seen... I've witnessed... How many times, though, before that time that we've both seen it together not in porn doesn't count oh uh before that time live yeah it's the first time yeah yeah took me by surprise I'm actually pretty sure it took me by surprise more than the fisty as well yeah and then the second half we're going to share some audio that we actually recorded by the pool at desire so two part kind of desire she's going to share this yeah I'm going to do that I'm here I'm here Thank you.

well yeah and then the second half we're going to share some audio that we actually recorded by the pool at desire so two-part kind of desire he's going to share this yeah i'm going to do that i'm here i'm here under duress you are here under duress but i'm we did make this is fucking christmas it's christmas time yeah and i have drunk at least two scotch and cokes well no scotch and sarsaparilla yes favourite, Scotch and sarsaparilla. So I've drunk at least two of those, which in the glass my size is actually more like six of them. So it should be a fun episode then?

It should be awesome, yeah. Listen up. Are you ready? Okay. Go. I'm so excited. I actually may have wet my pants a little. Well, we should probably do something about that. Maybe get them off or something. Put paper down? Getting older. Put newspaper down? Put some newspaper down. Okay. Jellies in the pool. Yeah. Jelly. It's the bears. Nothing? You can never remember them? Yeah, of course I have a memory of them. There were people who made, I mean, you should say alcoholic jellies. Hey, I've just got these titles here, and then I'm putting them out into the world, and you're just...

So, we were in the pool, and there were at least two occasions. Two different people as well, from what I know, there were two different, there was more than one. No, they returned. I know they returned, but there was another guy who did it on a different day, because they were different. You are correct, actually. So suck it. Towards the end, they did try to replicate the jellies in the pool and it was a... They weren't jellies. They were... Lollies. They were gummy bears, bro. Lollies. We call them lollies. We don't call them lollies. They're gummy bears. We still say like...

The whole fucking world calls them gummy bears. We still say lollies. No, we don't call them lollies. We call them gummy bears. Oh, I'm saying lollies. They're gummies at best. Okay.

If you want to shorten it up you want australianize that shit gummies okay can't gummy bears they're gummy bears so they were drenched in alcohol they weren't drenched in alcohol they were soaked in alcohol no it's different okay yeah precision of language you know who i am on that was houston couple too so shout out to houston couple those when i thought they were going home supposed to go home, then they came back. When I thought they were going home, I was pretty sad that there was not going to be a repeat of the jelly bears in the pool, and then they came back.

God, I'm going to – seriously, there's no more fucking stabbing. Just call them what they are. They're goddamn gummy bears. God damn. Yes, alcoholic gummy bears. We're awesome. I remember – Watch this as well as it makes you makes you like cranky. No, it doesn't. Setting up fucking microphones makes me cranky. I remember the first time I stuck my hand in there because nobody announced that they were alcoholic gummy bears. Yeah, I knew. As soon as I saw them. I stuck my hand in and they felt like a really wet vagina. What? Yep. Okay. That's where I'm going.

See, that was funny because a few people said like, wow, they're alcoholic. As soon as I saw somebody with some lollies in the pool, I instantly went, fuck yes, alcoholic lollies. Does that say something about my character? I'm pretty sure you were expecting them to be wine. You're still. Thank you, guys. It's supposed to be wine-soaked or something. That's what you were hoping for, weren't you? You were hoping for wine-soaked gummy bears that are there with their little... There are actually wine-flavoured gummy bears. Yeah, flavoured. Amateurs.

You can get chocolate that's full of brandy as well, but it's generally full of a non-alcoholic version of brandy because they know that when you get those home, the kids are going to fucking steal them. Yeah. That's like the bottom cesspit of the chocolate pool if you're a kid, really. The brandy ones? Yeah. Oh, man, as a kid, they're horrific. Yes, I'm saying. The only ones worse were the Australian rum style, like the Bundaberg ones. Remember those? Oh, good Lord. It was like licking a month-old arsehole. I just remember having that diabetic chocolate in the house when we were kids.

Diabetic chocolate? Yeah. What the fuck? You bought it from the chemist. The chemist hated you. Yeah, but remember I always used to eat cooking chocolate, too, because it's more bang for your buck. So, I mean, quite frankly, the hell told us. You're such a tight one. I'd rather one piece of chocolate that tastes great than a... No, because you can get, like, a kilo broth. I know, but it tastes like shit. You don't know what you're talking about. Oh, I do. Okay, are you ready? Cooking chocolate is horrible. Second topic. Yeah, the first topic was, you know, a real groundbreaker. Let's go.

Oh, you're going to be so upset that you said that. First soft swap. Our first soft swap.

We had our first soft swap absolutely and um i know the people who are listening who we uh had the appreciable moment with um certainly it was awesome first soft swap yeah that was our first i don't think they actually know that so this might be a bit of a surprise um it was a kind of a surprise to us as well given that we weren't I mean we didn't even realize that well we made it we made a swing a failure we hadn't really it was actually no no there was no failure because it was all sorted out it was her that kind of pulled us up and was like maybe we should actually have a discussion about boundaries and limits and stuff like that and we went yes yes we should but that's not that was not a failure, that's actually good swinger etiquette.

There was no failure. Why are you using the word failure? What I'm saying is, the only failure was the fact that we didn't recognise that we had not actually soft-swapped with a couple before. We didn't know that. I don't think we realised that until we got home even. Nope, we spoke about that and we were like that was actually our first ever soft swap. First ever definitive defined as soft swap. I think we've soft swap before but only because it got to a point with somebody where we didn't want to go any further. I have probably soft swapped.apped. You have. I have as well. I don't think...

I can point it. I can point it definitely at least one occasion. Okay. All right. Yeah? Okay. You want me to do it? No. I'll point that shit out. No, it's okay. Calm down. Okay, you ready for the next one? No, that one was pretty good. I'm done. I think we're done. I think we've done enough for one podcast. Okay, good. Okay. Oh, by the way, shout out. Best soft-swap ever Soft swap ever. It's actually quite hard to say. Soft swap, soft swap. Yeah. Soft swap. It was best one ever. Okay. I mean, it was the only one, but that's not the reason it was the best one.

Was it the phone call midway through? The phone call was fucking awesome. Oh, my God. Apparently, if you play in the morning, the Desire staff sometimes like to, you know, call you to make sure that, you know, your arrangements for later in the day are confirmed. And they do that sometimes mid-play. Oh, the expression. And it's slightly inconvenient. The expression was just awesome. Yeah. The face literally said, if he was on stage and pulled that face, the face would have literally been, fuck you, cunts. Yeah, you know what I said to me? What?

If I see you in a dark alley, it's going to go down. I'm going to cut you. I will straight up cut you. All right. Best face ever as well. Third thing, flotation devices in the pool. Which sort of flotation devices? Well, I've left that open. I mean, we had a full-size unicorn. Cynicorn. I'm going to call it a cynicorn. I actually wrote Cyn-O-Unicorn. I wrote that down. That's a terrible name. Cynicorn is much better. Cynicorn is much better, yeah. It's much more catchy. It is catchy. Six scotches will do that to you. Cynicorn.

So there was a cynicorn in the pool, which everybody signed, and we the Joneses and us took some photos of at the end of the event, so we have I don't know. Cynocorn So there was a Cynocorn in the pool Which everybody signed And the Joneses and us took some photos of At the end of the event So we have the memories of it Yeah of course No they didn't keep the Cynocorn Because it was too hard to get back You know what though Nobody can pack anything back into the place That the Chinese have packed it into That's true Christmas trees and tents My fucking lord You can never get that stuff.

Or Ikea shit. I don't get that back into the box. Sorry, so it's not just the Chinese. The Swedish are pretty fucking good at it as well. I think anybody who just specializes in... Packing shit? Yeah. Pretty good at it. Yeah, good point. Versus the general public. Well, especially, I mean, versus the general sea because, I mean... So, anyway, the Cynocorn kept disappearing throughout the week and then reappearing. Yeah, someone kept spearing the Cynocorn. And then reappearing then. It was actually the Desire staff putting it away for safekeeping. I don't think that's what it was at all.

People were taking it back to their room and getting frisky on it. Well, given the pearl got stolen from the desired pearl statue, I think maybe the cynocorn took the pearl on him for an evening. Got naughty. Cynopurl. The other thing we had was drink floaties as well. So online you can buy these little floatation devices that you put your drinks in. Like donuts. Like donuts. And there was that really cool one, the island and unicorns and many little things. I really like the way you're giving yourself a shout-out here. Actually, there was three people that bought those. Oh.

Because they kept multiplying. I bought, like, six, and by day three, there was about 20. Oh. So you're actually shouting out to other people, not just yourself? Yes. But you are shouting out to yourself as well, right? Yes. Every now and then you've got to give yourself props because apparently in this household you're the only one, as in yourself, who will give props. What? I have to give myself props because you're shit at it. Take that back. Take that back. Fine, I'll take it back. Okay. Fucking better. Okay, you ready? I'll give you some props. Green shots?

Don't remember green shots, sorry. Okay. Was it late in the evening? Yes, you went to the bar to try and grab like 20 espresso martinis for a celebration and instead you came back with shots that were green in colour. Someone took a group photo. We need to get that photo, actually. Yeah, yeah. So, you probably should ask for that, then. Just say, hey, whoever has that photo, which I can't remember who it is. I can't remember who took it, but I know who's in it. Well, that's not going to fucking help, is it? Well, I reckon they would have a copy.

Because they're probably not – if they were in it, unless it was a selfie, they're not the ones who have the copy. Why were we taking green shots? Because they were the easiest ones to get. I don't remember. You're sitting there nodding and looking at me all like, why are they the easiest ones to get? I sent you to the bar for birthday celebrations.

It was Nick's birthday and we were going to celebrate his birthday and we were trying to do a round of espresso martinis and instead that was too hard so you came back with these random fluorescent green shots and we all took the shot and then nobody knew what what it was that was inside the shot should i now tell them what was in the show no it took i was gone for a while wasn't i you were gone for a long time yeah i know that's how takes me to get, like, 20 shots away. 40 minutes. Good job, man. Two minutes per shot. That's actually double my regular. Double?

Yeah, because, you know, like, that's a lie. Yeah. That's a total lie. So we actually had a lot of celebrations throughout the week, so that was just another one. And, yeah, if you guys have that photo, send it on over. I'd love on over love to see it okay speaking of coming getting drinks and coming back from from the bar can you remember such incidents where perhaps you took a little bit of a long time when there's more than one yes it's inside yeah the plural is inside yeah i'm going to say inside as well yeah so tell, Dee. Tell me about those.

I remember people coming over to me, one particular person in retrospect, and I'm going to call him Yellow Light, Red Light. Double U. He came over to get the drinks from me after I'd spent maybe 40 minutes on the way to get you a drink and bring it back. I think what we've learnt from this particular event, though, is that I should not be trusted in getting you a drink. That's very true. Yeah. That's the end game. Not that, like, you should do better with coming back sooner. It's just that that's not going to happen. So the shortest critical path at this point is me just getting my own drink.

Yeah. I mean, love you and shit. But not that much. Fend for yourself. Put them. What? So, you know, just a disclaimer tonight. C seems to be a little mean. No, come on. She's saying horrible things about me and, you know, that's all I want to say. You can hear the hurt in my voice. Oh, you are turning it on. You can hear the hurt. Oh, my God. Those puppy brown eyes. Okay. Well, don't tell people I have brown eyes. They'll be able to find me. They'll stalk you out and ruin your life. They'll be able to find me on the FaceTube or... You don't use that....lookbook or whatever.

Clearly a highly utiliser of those things. Okay, you ready for the next one? Is it Tweet Space? What's the other one called? You're a dick. Okay, trivia. Trivia. I have nothing. Okay. I don't want to give this... I didn't realize that this was going to be a try and get B to drill back on his brain. Okay, I got another one. So trivia, and the second clue is they were the only people that I saw using our we're playing down under doorknob... It wasn't trivia. What do you mean trivia? Oh, I know who you're talking about. You're talking about the black and white pandas.

The black and white pandas, and also our gamer friends. Oh, sorry. That's what – that's – yes. Sorry. The pandas may have brought the games along, but we did have some – The sexy gamers hosted. We're going to call them sexy gamers? That's what I'm calling them. Yeah? How do you like that? I was actually going to say sexy nerds. Better. Sexy nerds. I'm so much better at naming. But you're awesome at other things. Good. So, yeah, that was fun. We were joking a couple of podcasts ago about trying to bring some games along to Desire. And it was awesome.

Had a couple of friends that decided to make those arrangements. And one of the evenings we sat around. One of the best swingers parties I've ever been to. It was hilarious because another couple came along and like midway through and they were like, oh, we thought this was like a sex party. And we're like, no, this is a bunch of nerds in a room sitting around half naked in costumes playing games. I mean, like what of it? It was fucking fantastic. It was. It was good fun. And thank you for the sexy nerds for organizing that. And for the pandas for bringing it along. Yeah, yeah. Nicely done.

Nicely played. Yeah, because they have some swingers in their area that they go and play games with. We play games with swingers in our area as well. Well, I know, but like, you know, and... Like, you know, guess which hole it's going to... No? No, okay. No? Okay. Land Down Under. I come from a land down under. You've come a few times in a land down under. I know exactly who you're talking about there. There was only one other set of Australians. No, you're wrong. We missed the clue. Okay. Okay, 10 a.m. on the way to breakfast. Oh, we weren't on our way to breakfast yet. Yes, I remember.

And Exdoor Neighbours. And Exdoor Neighbours decided to pay when we come from the land down under at, like, 11. I mean, like, the dial was set to 11, and they played that at our door through their sound docky thing. It was... Well, the housekeeping staff loved it, because we were just at the bottom of the stairs when they put it on and they were laughing. Oh, that's right. One was dancing. We already made it out. We already made it out. We were on the cook bath. Yes, we were. Well, you didn't go back because you were hungry and hangry. I was hangry. So I went back. Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Well, we kept making jokes because we were next door neighbours at the resort and we kept kept making jokes like can you guys hear our bows when we're getting ready like no shit can you guys hear it when we're having sex in our room and uh yeah then they decided to blast did you just brand drop i mean we are in no way affiliated with bows and i mean we'd be open to being affiliated with bows if bows was listening if mr and mrs bows is listening right now are we adding stuff to stuff to that list? Because we'd be open to affiliation with Audi as well.

Like if anyone wants to drop a car railway, I'm just saying rocket ship. Yeah, rocket. Whoa. Yeah. Think big, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, man. So Elon or Mr. Musk, maybe I'll call you Mr. Musk, I'm not sure. But if you've got a spare rocket laying around, I'd be happy to look after that for you. And you could do Swinging Down Under From the Stars. Just saying. No one's buying that shit. It's a thing. Just FYI. Don't hold your breath, honey. No, I'm holding my breath from here on in. Okay, all right. Now I'm going to speak like this. All right, I am now going'm going to speak like this.

Alright, I am now going to say fellow podcasters. There weren't any other podcasters at Alvin? There were heaps of podcasters. It was great. What have you got? Well, I mean, we have this is a problem because now I have their actual name stuck in my head which is bad so we have we had a number of other podcasters along, I mean obviously the Joneses were there. Are you looking for help? No We got a thing We obviously had the Curious Couple. Yeah. We also had, I can't remember the name of their podcast, which is horrible.

I'm thinking of their names, and their names are stuck in my head, especially because she has a really, really cute name, and she's actually little and quite cute as well. She's teeny tiny. Yeah. She's like a pocket rocket. pocket rocket exactly okay i'll give it to you are you ready break for fun break for break for fun yes absolutely yes oh yeah you've got two more so just a heads up for jay um from the average swingers oh she's there only one in at this point so you know, they've got another nine to go before you'll listen to them. Okay, you've got two more to go. No? Podcasters?

I know who they are. I don't know the name of their podcast. I'm sorry. I won't ask... You're worried about outing them? Swinger Diaries because we chat with them regularly now and we just use their names, right? And I don't remember. Which is funny, actually, because a lot of people always say to us, we don't really tend to name drop the Joneses. page and pen bam good job yes we uh it's because while we're walking around the house we actually say Mr Page and pen. Bam. Good job. Yes. It's because while we're walking around the house, we actually say Mr. and Mrs.

Jones because it's slightly kinky. And last one. They were only there for a couple of days. We met them. They're new. Shout out to them. Miami Swings. Yes. So, again, another pocket rocket. Another pocket rocket. Yeah, crazy. And cute, no? There's something going on there with the pocket rockets and podcasting. Well, and some of the – I mean, there seems to be a lot of redheads in swinging as well, right? There's a lot of redheads. They're a male and female. Yeah. I mean, one of them, I have to say, though, I'm pretty sure his body was brighter red than his hair by the end of it anyway. Okay.

Let's see here. What other notes do I have? I'm so failing this task. You're shitty at it. Oh, man. Okay. Best costumes. Mine. On the last podcast, you were like, yeah, man, they were okay. No, the costumes were great. It's just that I would never have chosen them for myself. All right, let's see. He was very tall. Very, very tall. Fun couple. Live in Northern California. Very, very tall. Yeah. He was very, very tall. Yeah. Yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about. Our friends from Sonoma. I know who you're talking about, yeah. Shout out to their costumes. Yes, good costumes.

I can't, I don't, I know their names, but we can't use their names. No, Sonoma, Sonoma Couple. Sonoma, Sonoma Couple, let's call, okay, Sonoma Couple. That's them. I mean, I kind of feel bad because there were so many people there that we enjoyed the quality of time with. Now these are just some random little tidbits of Intel. Just throwing it out there. Okay. This one I don't know what you're going to get, so we'll see how you go. Okay, how to pull the trigger. Don't wait until 4 a.m. in the hot tub. Well, I mean, that was you. What? You said that.

No, but I mean, like, it's because people were talking to me about it. Yeah. Okay. So you said that. I did it, the balancing thing. But, yeah, so you said that. Can we agree that you said that? All right. About day two or day three, a few people said to us, like, how do we… Not a few people. It was one particular person. No, it was three. I had three couples. Okay. I only remember one. Okay. Maybe because people thought you were, you know, less approachable than me. Yeah, you can tell by the fact that it took me 45 minutes to get a drink and took you five. Oh! Should I drop the mic?

Oh, she totally did. Dude. And I'm the mean one, apparently apparently um yeah this this one just before we kind of uh chat about what's happening you're a bitch that was a bitchy comment it wasn't it was true it's totally true people said to us like it's uh you know how do we how do we pull the trigger and um set up a date and have a play session and I said well you know what don't wait until three and four in the morning at the hot tub you know you've got to set it a date and have a play session. And I said, well, you know what? Don't wait until 3 and 4 in the morning at the hot tub.

You know, you've got to set it up early. Agreed. And another thing, just a heads up for everyone out there, perhaps ask the hosts as well if they'd like to attend any of your events. Just throwing that out there because we weren't asked. But with the exception of one date that we'd set up prior or two, two dates we'd set up prior, we had not... Nobody asked us to dinner. Thank you. I'm not talking about us. I'm saying in general, like you're interested in another couple. There's no shame or no problem in saying hey, we're really enjoying your company.

We'd like to spend some more time with you. I don't think that's a problem most people have. I think you're off mark there. I think the problem most people have is that not asking, it's the potential for somebody to turn around and then say, actually, not really that interested in you. Yes, but that's fine because then you're not wasting each other's time and then you can move on to somebody who perhaps… It's not fun though. Have you ever had anyone say that I'm not their style, I'm not attractive enough? Yes, the other day, recently. Did you want to cut that bitch?

No, I just thought she was being a bit harsh. Did you want to cut the bitch? No, I thought she was being harsh. You wanted to cut her that. No, don't say that. People think I'm an aggressive person. Well, I'm an aggressive person, which is why you can make it back from the bar in five minutes. This is going in a direction that I don't like. Get the questions back out, then. That's it. That's it. That's all I had for this. Yeah. Well, that's good. This will be the shortest podcast ever. I've got audio at the end, remember. But next year.

So at the end of this one, we actually asked some questions about next year. What do you mean we asked some questions? We figured out what we got wrong ourselves first. Oh, for sure. Of which there were many things. No, there were not many. There were some things that could have been smoother than... You were too short getting to the bar, I was too long. So, you know, there were many things we sorted out we were doing wrong.

Like being approachable enough that would want to you know stop you on the way to the bar and ask you out for lunch or dinner just saying good that's what that was the problem was because there was walking around people like wow he's really quite nice and his wife she seems a bit harsh I'm not sure we want to go out to dinner with her so do you know what I'm? No. Okay. You know how there was one lunch date where it just so happened that about, like, six couples were all going to lunch together at the same time? Remember that? Yes.

And in the end, we just actually all had lunch together on a big, long table. So next year, here's what I'm thinking. Throughout the week of the events, either lunch or dinner, we arrange a big family dinner dining table, lunch or dinner. You think? Yeah, I think that'll be fun. Okay. And we can do little swapsy CDs so you can't sit next to your partner. I know. I don't know whether I'm okay with that, though. Why not? Apparently I'm'm, like, insulting your game, so you're better off without me. Not insulting. That's too hard a word. You're just bringing my game down. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Just ever so slightly bringing the game down. Not ever so slightly. Anything about that, though, like big groups of lunching and dinner and, like, dating. Like, big dates. Big group dates. Yeah, group dates. Yeah. I don't think it's a good idea, but anyway. You don't think it's a good idea? You're bullshitting me right now. No, I'm not. You should probably not have dropped this live on, well live, but on air, because I don't think it's a great idea. I reckon that you do. No, I don't, because the problem with big tables is you never get to move around enough to actually meet interesting people.

I mean, you think, not interesting people, but enough people. Think about all the dinner parties we've been on where there's been, like, 12 couples or 12 people even. It's quite tough to get around the table and meet everyone. All right, what about a hot seat then? So every, like, you're, okay. I'm going to figure this out because I actually think it's a really good idea. Yeah, you'll make this awesome, babe. Yeah. I have no doubt whatsoever. Once you're done with thinking about it, it'll be awesome. Okay. We'll have such a big turnout. Oh, my God.

Are you going to eat those words in November next year, buddy? I'm going to draw this podcast back out and just be like, fuck you. Let's see. I'll be like, you know, we'll get a table of 100 all the time. I'm going to buy a shirt that says, I was right and you're stupid. Wow. Yep. Stupid. You can call me stupid. No, that was a bit mean. I regret my decision. No, I think that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. Totally, babe. I'll support you in anything as long as it's not ludicrous. You're sucky. Okay, are you ready for the next one? We've already spoken about this last podcast, but drinks, right?

We like drinks. We like drinks? We need to have a little, like, special drink menu. Yeah, I think so. But, I mean, I'm going to totally force that to Mrs. Jones. That's Mrs. Jones. She already promised she's doing that, actually, I think. Yeah, she already. I mean, I've heard she promised as well. Yeah. I mean, sure, yeah. She did promise, right? She promised everyone. She did. She promised everyone. you are. And it would be in the sweetest tone ever. Okay, here's something. And I know you're going to give me crap about this. I have no doubt. So why the fuck are you bringing it up?

Because I want to put it out there. Go. I'm going to create a mobile phone app so we can have the calendar of events on the mobile phone app. So this is coming from a woman who every time she touches anything electronic, she lets the smoke out it you watch i'm going to create a mobile phone app for dp 2018 with the calendar the schedule of events the only the only reason we own an atari 2600 is because i know i can repair it once you break it i thought it was just because that's the simplest thing to plug in like for me and oh yeah and the new technology's kind of lost.

Oh, yeah, no, you still plug that up. No? Yeah, I mean, come on. You missed an opportunity to give me shit about that. Remember the last time that you tried to set up the Atari 2600? I really want to play the Sega now, actually. Oh, man. That means 45 minutes out of my time. It's Christmas. It's Christmas-like. We can set it up tomorrow and play it for, like, four hours. Four hours. Yeah. Wonderboy. Oh, man, I love Wonderboy. So bad. I mean, can we get Sonic the Hedgehog going as well so that I can, like, want to put a Uzi in my mouth? It's only because of the repetitive sound and music.

Yes, and movement. Yeah. I'll play Paperboy, too. That's got the most repetitive sound out of all of them. Sound, music, and movement. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah.

I know what I'm done for the next three days not me given that attitude not true right let's wrap it up let's have some audio after this let's share some audio we recorded this next section by the pool actually and it's all about balance there's a group of people we don't really enjoy time with you know they're weird they smell funny yeah I'm like I'm totally kidding some of the it's the best group of people I think I've ever been around in my entire life you're you're actually like depressed at home right now I am serious to everyone who was there and he keeps giving me shit you know what he keeps saying to me everyone out there he?

He keeps saying, see, get your act together, get enough money, make a better job, and move us over to the States because I can't handle being here anymore. That's the kind of pressure that he puts me under. I'm just saying. That and an occasional blowjob, I mean, shit. Yeah. Yeah. I think the blowjob's more pressure than... It's too much, too much. Yeah, so enjoy this next section. We're going to talk about that. And before we go, I, this evening, have been a squirrel and planning a little Sydney vacation. And I'm super excited. Look out, Sydney. What's so secret squirrel about that?

There's nothing squirrely about it at all. I mean, you just announced it as well. I was squirreling at the time. Because you were asking me about the squirreling. No, I was squirreling for the people that we're going to stay with because they said, like, hey, we can probably give you a spare room. And I was like, you are giving us the spare room. We're coming. So, end of February. Yeah. Sydney. Sydney. So, we're going to drop back in as well, hopefully. We're going to go see our friends at OSS. I hope so. Yeah? Bloody well hope so.

We can bring back the mics you gave us now because they're broken. We fuck them. So, yeah, we can bring those back if you'd like them back. Yep. We can return that. Technically, it's like a library. We just checked them out for a little while. We're going to break up some late fees. Oh, it's going to be some serious late fees. Serious late fees. I hope I have to pay those. International carriage fees. Look, if Babydoll needs me to pay a fee, then I'll pay a fee. I mean, I'm not above paying that sort of fee. What do you got? That's it? You're done? You're done? I'm done. All right.

Well, I mean, I was finished ten minutes ago. All right. Well, thank you. That's volume two You're done. You're done. I'm done. All right. Well, I mean, I was finished 10 minutes ago. All right. Well, thank you. That's volume two of episode 58. Oh, my God. I'm just swinging down on the podcast. Thanks for listening. This is C. It's 59, by the way. This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. It's going to be 69 soon. Yeah. Like later. Like later. Like 10 from now. 11. But the next one's going to be 59, and then it's going to be 60 and 61 and so forth and so on until we get 69.

You really have figured out how numerals work, this whole numeric system. Yeah, don't you know I'm Count Dracula? Can you give me some Count Dracula? Let me go. One. One podcast episode. Two podcast episodes. 69 podcast episodes. Still C, still D. And I need to get some wine. Cheers.

Bye is enrique me i'm this person entertainment director this has been like this is the group that um that gathered the fastest and the best way ever and desire and i'm talking about not only in the set pro but also the side of rivieraiera Maya we opened there that hotel I've been here since then so uh we opened like about 14 years ago and seriously the group that we that you guys gathered that they gathered that how you guys came to be it's amazing and I'm impressed we never got had something like this before so I'm not kissing your ass I don't know if that's okay I'm not trying to do that even though I would like to but yeah I'm very impressed with all this seriously everyone keeps talking about how we're happy about you all coming, but, you know, are you having fun?

Everybody's having a good time? Awesome.

So we were trying to figure out what we wanted to talk about this afternoon and really what we wanted to share and discuss with you all and maybe foster some other discussions later on and what i was thinking was all about balance and what i mean by that is well when we come to this place we're coming here for seven seven nights or eight nights i don't even know the day and we're drinking and we're in the sun and we're having a great time we're partying and i thought how do you balance that out how do you balance your alcohol how do you balance sex with your partner sex with other people connecting with couples private time sex with other people oh shit baby sorry we're in the lifestyle i forgot to mention you didn't know how do you all balance that out and really make sure that you have a great week have a lot of fun here but maybe don't overdo it or kind of you know burn yourself out so when you go home you're still having a good time so that's what i wanted to talk about today and as uh mr jones said have a think about you know how you're balancing things out and uh you know maybe come and share that with us in a little bit so i'm going to hand the microphone around and we can talk a little bit about how you can balance going away from home having a great time here but maybe I'll be thinking about some other things back home.

Better? Yes. A ball ball success. We have a new baby at home. It was tough. I got here. Getting off playing was not easy. But at least for me, when I think of what is important to balance while we're here. So the first thing that comes to mind for me, and I know there's a lot of moms out here as well, is balancing our family time and our time together as husband and wife. And so it wasn't easy for us to make this time, but I know it's important, and we need it, and our baby needs it. And so it's important. Do you want to add something to that? I'm just trying not to cry to be honest.

But I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy that there's so many great people here, a lot of friends, a lot of new people that we've met, and this trip's very important to us, and so we're glad to share it with you guys thank you well and it feels like a home environment you know we're away from home but here it's always so welcoming and the you know a sense of community even if you are meeting people for the first time we obviously know a handful of people here but we're meeting a lot of people and it's just an So I'm gonna try and steer away from this now just so because we don't have kids we don't know totally child free and also I can see through the glasses from here and I'm going to get to the important things like booze so yeah I mean it's an Australian thing we like our our drink and and you may or may not have heard me refer to my darling wife c as a booze hag um she loves her she loves her yeah by the way i'm still waiting on my delivery i don't know where the guy is oh sorry uh so she's still waiting on a drink right now she's ready to um tie people up behind the bar if anyone wants to come up and be tied up behind the bar.

So one of the things that I've found on the way through here, there's a few things. And one that's really interesting to me is that I'm actually an introvert. OK, so I see some confused faces in the crowd out there. And I know I've had this discussion with other people while I'm here. There's a few introverts here. One of the things I've found that I've had to balance is that ability to just enjoy myself with a group of people, which I do. I've loved talking to all of you, which you can tell by my now baritonatic voice. It's getting on down now.

But I've had to balance the time where I wander off into my room and just sit there and watch CNN in Spanish for a while to enjoy a bit of time with me. Now, there's nothing better than spending quality time with yourself, except spending quality time with six or seven other people. So, yeah, for me, that's certainly been a thing. And add to that also, you know, I've got my lovely wife here. I enjoy it very much. Oh, yeah. So many of you over the course of the last few days, if you've been talking to, you know, Dee or myself, you've probably said to me a time or two, hey, see, where's Dee?

And I'm like, that's a bloody good question. I actually, oh, oh, the bald guy. Okay, there he is, right over in the back there. There's a few of those in here. of those i know yeah i know the shape of your head babe you can't you can't even say the bald australian guy another one of those can't say that no and so the other day i was thinking about balance and that's really what kind of got me thinking about today's topic because i was saying indeed you know what you know what, we spend a lot of time traveling internationally. We do it for our jobs. We spend a lot of time apart.

And honestly, sometimes like four, five, six weeks apart. And, you know, we've been waiting 400 days to come on this vacation. I love sharing him with you all. 400 days. But also, I'm like, I need a little bit of sea time. So I said to Dee, you know what? Maybe today we can kind of attempt, if we're out chatting to people, we can kind of come back, reconnect with each other, and then spend time chatting as a couple. So that's really what I was thinking about, as well as trying to get up on my sleep and contain my drinking.

I don't know if anyone was in the disco last night, but there may have been some poll action. So just saying on a on another note of as far as balance goes you know we've been doing this a long time but we've taken a break and uh this is you know part of uh having a good time here is keeping a balance well i would I would recommend not over-drinking the first night. It's not my first time, but yet I did that last night. So, yeah. A little rusty. How many people did that the first night? Yeah, yeah, pretty common.

So, not recommended, but, and again, you guys have all been here all week, and I just got here, so. Well, I don't really have any prepared remarks, but I say this often when I refer the different podcasts we listen to, including We Got a Thing, Swing Down Under, Some Diaries, and Curious Couple.

What we learned a lot is just, you go to events, they're new experiences experiences they're things that you haven't done before you haven't encountered these experiences and you really have to process what's going on not only in your head but what is happening in your spouse's head so So, just thank you for being such a good role model and showing us how to communicate is a hell of a life. Of course. Amen. Woo! It's a good role model and showing us how to clean the things, as well as our lives.

Hello, I'm Kathy, and I'll have to say I have a yellow bracelet on, and so this is my first time at MTSA.

And my wonderful husband was kind of persistent about saying, Hey, we come to cancun often lots of resorts and i was kind of still resistant to come for the whole time that we had available to vacation and so we were going to split it up three days here and three days excellence but after being here for just one day everybody was so kind to us and just open-minded and welcoming and so we extended our stay here and we also have six children so i understand your pain we're navigating a lot of who did who's supposed to pick me up where i what but we're we don't care at this point you're seriously sexy for having six children damn they're adopted no you had six children wow d alluded to something a second ago and uh when i when i think about balance as well something else i think about is well h balance ph balance is one the things.

And then really not kind of getting a little bit too excited. You know, we talk about having too much alcohol on day one or having too much sex on day one. I had to say to Dee on the way here, like, I'm going to have to owe you a few when we get home, honey, because I don't think I can actually go all week without breaking the cookie.

And so, you know, that's what else I think about when I'm thinking about balance I've got to have enough time with him enough time by myself and then you know share it around a little bit as well I have too much in the way of an insightful tip but sleep is probably one of the things that's hardest to balance from our point of view, right? Because every minute with your eyes closed is a minute wasted around here, yeah?

But it is important, and not feeling too much guilt for having a little bit of a sleep in in the morning I think is something important to come to terms with psychologically, so sleep is something that I've tried to... When? When? Do you know what I've learned in this trip? Until afternoon is kind of the thing, I think, so... It's that whole FOMO thing. But you know what I learned last night? They turned the hot tub bubbles off at 330 how rude it was only 330 I really good job I'm coming up I that's basically what I'm talking about he's what he said about being an introvert that I 100% am.

And that's what I've told everybody here that I've talked to. And I hope that's most of you. This is my exercise. I'm an introvert trying to be an extrovert. And, you know, especially coming up here and talking on a microphone, which may potentially go out on the Internet. Oh, it will. I'm freaking the fuck out. Woo! Glad I got it under control. But, like you said, sometimes, you know, you have to schedule that introvert day, where you recharge your batteries, you sit back, you chill out, reconnect. That's part of it.

And, you know, not to get into too much of the thank you stuff but thank you guys yeah helping introverted people like me feel welcome you know you know when you're a really good kisser it's just it's that way to open the door flattery will get you everywhere i know thank you i'm get you everywhere I just like to change a small piece of language we all use which I'm just gonna call mr. Jones out here on the flippin vanilla's he may have received a couple of emails you know stating that he was a human being. Which I've met him now, so I understand that to be true.

But I'd like to change that language to something a little bit more like introducing people to a better life.

I think, certainly for us, and we go on and on about how life has gotten so much better for us and we understand each other and we know how to to balance all of the things in life in terms of work um shaking other people uh people constantly asking c to say the word cock so So, and apparently anything that ends with the word R for me so like computer or so for us we've really we've really learned that through this lifestyle we've gathered so much information on each other that we thought we knew we all thought i think all of us thought we understood each other until we walked into this and and got something wrong like the second knuckle in my that's a different story choice knuckle only for everyone all right i'm not an introvert at all i think for for me it's more about um keep staying connected with your partner because it's you're right I mean there's so many attractive people and you're constantly like oh my god look at that person oh my god oh would you ever talk to them they're so interesting oh have you heard about yeah yeah so and just having those conversations and learning so much about other people it's really really fun is the for me is one of the most fun parts about it is just hearing people's stories and telling our own um but also having the the ability to as you do that continue to stay connected with your partner and making sure that i didn't spend too much time with that person or you're okay like that's to me is is one of the things that I try to be very conscious about And it's hard that part of it is hard, and I love them to pieces, but still Bloody Ozzy back on the phone honestly This guy you can put one more on the list of introverts who are getting out of their comfort zone here.

So if I seem a little awkward or standoffish to anyone, my apologies up front. I'm a pretty shy person, which you may not get. We can tell by the fact that you're standing with your penis above water. I'm going to say 180 people. I mean, it pays to market, right? It pays to market. I'm not sure how well I'm marketing, but thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it. I am a pretty introverted and relatively shy person, as a rule, so this kind of trip I've realised is a really good opportunity for some personal development.

I've picked up on a few things that I can work on since I've got here, so I take that as a positive. So, yes, while I'm normally really very concentrated on my beautiful wife, Kylie, because she's normally such a giving person at home, and she's the last person she considers when we're at home running around after four children. When we get to a place like this, she manages to get her head into a space of feeling the freedom really quickly, which is just beautiful to watch.

And yeah, that's an opportunity for me to get some balance and think about some personal development for me, so that's a point well made. She's certainly very giving here as well, just an FYI. I appreciate it. I have something else, Mr. Jones. Day sex, okay? Everybody here has been talking to talking to me. They're like, oh, it's 2 and 3 and 4 a.m. And, you know, we're trying to get it on. And we're making a date with couples. And, you know, how do you balance that? I'm like, yeah, you know what you do? You have day sex, then you go to dinner, then you go to the disco.

So, day sex is a good balancing act, if anybody out there hasn't done that yet. Excellent practical advice. Give it a shot. We tend to find 10 a.m. is the way to go, because 9 is a little early, it's a little seedy from the night before. Occasionally, sorry, seedy might be in Australianism, but you'll have to suck it up. But, yeah, 10 a.m. apparently we figured out is the right time to balance that recovery versus day sex. I'm not sure how he discovered that at all. Stopped looking at me weirdly there and standing in the middle of the pool by himself.

If his wife could float on over, that'd be great. But yes, C is very well balanced when it comes to things like that. Oh, a new wife. Hey. Thank you. All right, I need a wife now. There's a few people looking for wives out here, so if there's any wives who'd like to join the group, he just managed two new wives. It's a balance thing. There's one of these wives. It's not a balance. Not any time. Absolutely.

it's totally balanced this wasn't just a week long trip it was a year long process and we met over 20 25 couples that that we feel like we've known for a long time and people like later on there's a couple that's going to renew their vows, their wedding vows, and they're going to be part of that. And there's really, and I've been thinking about it, there's really no better place to do something like that to celebrate marriage, and we have been impressed and overwhelmed and touched by the strength of relationships all around us. We've been touched. We've been touched. Touched.

I don't tell you, kid. Overwhelmed and touched by the strength of relationships all around us She always goes lowbrow C&D Tom. Tom and we're out.