P54 – Bedazzling Bangkok and MFM Full Swap

Transcript

Hi there, my name is C. I'm Dee, and you're listening to Swinging Down Under. Our journey as a couple through the swinging lifestyle. Are you into open relationships? Or exploring new things in life? This is our podcast. Experiences, both good and bad, reviews and events, and more here at Swinging Down Under. Come on, Join us. This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. Whoa. Totally new intro forever now. That's not actually the case. Forever. I refuse to allow that to occur actually. Well, you can't really stop it.

Well, I can if I actually edit the podcast, then I can stop it. No, I don't think. Well, hey though, welcome to episode 54 of the Swinging Down Under podcast. I feel like you cut me off. I was mid-sentence there. I don't know. I really don't understand what you mean there. And I can actually just edit that out as well. So you may have guessed that C has gotten to the point where she has editing power. So now she believes she is an all-encompassing god figure in the Swinging Down Under podcast world.

I'm basically, it's like the master Lego builders, but master podcast editor master podcast is this because you watched um the lego movie that's yesterday with me that is true and now you're a master lego builder but podcast editor oh gotcha yeah moving on hey um before we get started with our podcast today i just want to we've already started with our podcast with the stuff we're actually going to talk about instead of the rambling that has occurred up until this point the next two podcasts as well are going to be interesting we've stopped before we get into it twice now i mean are we going to get into it i mean people are literally sitting at home right now thinking when the fuck are they going to your plan is flawed because people listen on their car ride to work they listen running they listen on their plane ride on their plane ride so your plan is flawed um The next two podcasts we have coming up are really, really interesting.

We are doing one on... See, he's really trying to keep us on track here, and I'm doing my best to just keep guiding us away. Children in the lifestyle. Now, some of you may know that Dee and I actually don't have children, so we've enlisted some of our friends in the lifestyle to give us some... We enjoy eating them, though. They're really tasty.

Audio snaps of how they deal like to have children in the lifestyle and how you manage that and also i'm going to do another master potting of um urinary tract infections and general feminine hygiene in the lifestyle too so those two podcasts how do you keep your vajayjay on tap how do you keep your vajayjay happy keeping vajayjay keep your vajayjay happy? Keeping vajayjay smiling. That's the title I'm going to use. Keeping your vertical smile, vertical smiling. Excellent, excellent. What's new? What's new, Dee, since you're so keen to chat? So, we've had a few things new.

Well, we've had a lot of things. We owe a few podcasts here. So, unfortunately for you guys, or maybe fortunately, depending on, well, if you're listening to us us you must enjoy us a little at least um we have three we've had three dates hmm uh three good dates yeah yeah get it out three really good days mind blown with like interesting amazing fun people and i had it how the hell did that happen at different ranges of their swinger journey you know what's happening we're getting really really good at, fun people. And how the hell did that happen?

At different ranges of their swinger journey as well. You know what's happening? We're getting really, really good at conning people into thinking we're awesome. Well, I mean, I am awesome. So my awesomeness and your less awesomeness, we eventually equal out at like normal. Okay. Yeah, so please feel free not to email us if you think that that's not the case. You can email that to cmc at swingingdownunder.com. You can, you can, and I can choose to delete it. So, yeah, we've had some good dates, some really good dates. It has been.

It's funny because, you know, you always try to balance out things that happen in your real life. We both travel a lot and try to balance out lifestyle and then balance out time together. But, yeah, recently we've kind of, in the last month, I think we've had... We've jagged some good cats. We've jagged some good dates. Yeah, so the first date, well, second date actually. Well, yeah. We had a second date. This was a couple actually from the meet and greet we spoke about a little while ago here in Singapore.

So we went to a really nice rooftop bar and went to a meet and greet and walked away having... We met and gret. Met and gret. Some really interesting people. And we connected with a few people there in particular and then gave our details and this one couple actually contacted us, I think, within the week, you know, which was cool. And then it took a little bit of aligning to get the actual catch-up occurring. I mean, it's one of those things. Everybody around here seems to travel quite a bit. It's the epicenter of travel or workplace station for Asia. And they have a little one as well.

Exactly. So, you know, they've got travel for their personal stuff, travel for work, and they've got a little one. So, you know. Yeah, so it took a little bit of time to get it together, but then we got it together. And they were kind enough to join us at our abode for an evening of, well, we started with drinks. And what happened? They were a little bit late too. Thank you so much.

for an evening of well we started with drinks and uh and where did it get what and what happened they were a little bit late too so i guess this is one of the reasons why we want to do this upcoming podcast about children so say for example you're catching up with people for a date and they're running a little bit late and we've spoken about this so many times before you know it's it's pretty appropriate to give a bit of a leeway for people that oh yeah but also also keep in mind these guys were they were keeping us in the loop it's not like they just didn't arrive for four hours and then arrived you know so they were keeping us up to date with what was going on which is fine i mean that we understand there's other shit in life well that's the thing and they said you know we're literally trying to walk out the door the babysitter's there but the little one won't go down you know when you use mummy isms like like you have some sort of semblance of idea of what that even means they won't go to sleep they won't shut up how's that sound the wet blankets will not shut up so anyway yeah so you gotta make you gotta give a little bit more of an that are dealing with that.

Different for us, you know. If we're late, it's just because we're shit and we've left the run too late. So, feel free to get angry at us if we come to a date late. Well, I mean, I'm regularly angry at you when we're going to a date late.

Can I edit that just to say you're regularly angry at me and then, you know, everyone can send hate mail to you because i think you're a mean man well yeah i mean you can do that if you really okay good job if you want me to be so yeah they came over we had a great time we chatted about their experience they actually used to live in the uk for a period of time too and what we found or i don't know if you agree with this d but um people that have been in the uk often times tend to get a little bit into the kink scene um and have well i think i mean there's a very big broad brush or stroke in there considering the four people the four couples we've met from the uk happen to be into kink or bdsm yeah yeah you're right um i think so my selection criteria and statistic statistical data there is I think we are in the realms of statistics here.

Yeah, totally. Good. So what I'm saying is that... Statistically significant portion of the UK we have sampled, yes. All four couples. There's only like 10 couples in the UK anyway, isn't there? You know, can I say out there, crowd, if I could record the sound of C rolling her eyes, I mean, there would have been so many recordings right now. I'm actually going to get a little button I touch every time she rolls her eyes. I don't know what the noise will be yet. Maybe like something funky. And you can all see how often it happens.

And then you can figure out whether I am the evil bad one or not or whether she is. Was that a little bit too it crazy? That was a bit chucky. Okay. Chucky it. My bad. Yeah, so good conversation. And, yeah, getting back on track, they spoke to us a little bit about their history and, you know. Should we back up the fact that they're really like a sexy couple? I mean, should we throw that out there? You can take it away, sweetie. So they're, I mean, attractive to look at, right? And also intellectually stimulating. They were fun. They were involved in the conversation.

They were all the right things, right? right all the things we like so i just wanted to backtrack a little bit and now we can get back onto your track and go oh no i don't have anything else to add now okay so there's going to be a like 45 minute silence for the rest of the podcast because that's what we're running with you know what they're actually going actually going, there's a few people going to a vacation actually in Thailand soon, but they're going literally three days before we are going to Mexico. So we leave for our trip to Mexico.

So we can't go, which is a bit of a shame because this group of people and then this couple in particular, they're really lovely. We get along great with them and we'd really enjoy spending more time with them as well. And pants on, pants off, friends. Yeah, there's more than one couple in that group that we'd like to spend more time with. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, so we chatted, we sat, we chatted, we drank, we ate the usual, you know, see her nibbles. She had out the cheese and the usual stuff. I think I'm going to simmer down on how much.

I'm simmering down on the last two times people have barely touched it and it's it's like 150 180 dollars worth i think it's probably just that you're a consummate over caterer yeah you just it's just it's your jam it's your jam you over cater yeah i mean but let's just think about your whole family your whole it's a family of and then what happens too is the next day we got so much so much bloody cheese and oh it's horrible i've been eating cheese you know for the days afterward it's disgusting i'm really so upset by the fact that we have 180 dollars fancy like double camembert with like uh the truffle center yeah it's horrible i've really had to struggle through it you know it's oh, I'm so sick of this truffle camembert with my French wine.

Oh, this is horrible. How will I ever survive? So what time did they get here? About 11, correct? Yeah, I think it was. They came at 10, they came at 11. Yeah, that's right. And then, you know what? After the play session, we did, you know, sit around chatting for a little while. You just, what, you skip straight over the play session? Well, what do you want to mention about it? That it was fucking awesome? But it was a good play session we did, you know, sit around chatting for a little while. You just, what, you skip straight over the play session? Well, what do you want to mention about it?

That it was fucking awesome? But it was a good play session, yes. We had a lot of fun and they are really good, actually. We spent a bit of time in the bedroom. We spent a bit of time chatting. She actually, she wore, if I remember, a really, really sexy outfit. She randomly walked out of the room with a sexy lingerie exposing piece on.

It was like strings going everywhere i can't even really explain it do you remember uh not any better descriptor than you've just given it was uh i remember it i remember her walking out of the bathroom i remember my jaw probably smacking somewhere near ground level yeah and i then also thought well you know well, you know, we just got out the card game. It was funny, though, because it was really unexpected. It was like she excused herself to go to the ladies' room. She comes back, and she was like, bam. That was, I mean, but unexpected?

I mean, that's the kind of expectation I'd like to set for every lady who comes to our house. I think from now on in, it's expected. It's actually expected from now on. on they come to our house they have to be walking around in lingerie just but they have to pop into the bathroom and then come out it's like superwoman sort of going in coming out dressed as a swinger you know uh she could probably just walk out of the bathroom dressed as superwoman i think think most people's jaws would drop. Yeah, she is pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Pretty sexy? Yeah, all those things, I'm sure.

Wonder Woman as well. Yeah. But yeah, that was quite a surprise, actually. I hadn't anticipated that. But yeah, she was gorgeous. Yeah. Actually, both of them, very well-dressed, very sexy couple. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah Very fit as well Fit, funny, fuckable Yeah Like three Fs And you know what else I liked about them as well There was a lot of like mixing up positions as well The play session was super fun You got totally fucked I mean there's no other way to say it You totally got fucked You were like It was porn star was porn star shit going on. No, there was not.

There was some porn star shit. It was not. It was good. There was a lot of positions. Come on, there was a lot of positions, a lot of porn star positions. And you were complimenting even during the session saying, this is some porn star shit. I did not. No, you didn't. I made that up. Oh, thank God. I was actually looking at you like, did I actually say that? No, you didn't. But it would have been funny if you did. That's another thing too, because they came over at about 11 and I think left at about 2, like you don't drink a lot. No. So that... No, it was good.

Well, I think we've mentioned that before actually with those late... Like there's just not enough time to sit around drinking, which is not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all. But we love. We love to share some wine with our friends. You're a drinker. Okay. You're a booze. You're my lovely booze hag. And you're a saint. I don't know how you put up with the sin in the household. I've never vomited in a cab. That's true. And I have zero callback on that. I have nothing. Nope. So, yes, there was some awesome positions and some awesome fun in the bedroom.

And I had a whole, well, I'm hoping the lovely lady had some fun as well, but I had a whole heap of fun over on my side of the bed. Your side of the bed? You know what I mean? You were kind of like... We were kind of all over the bed. There was quadrants. There were quadrants? And there was movement in each of the quadrants. Movement? Really? Yeah. So who was in each quadrant? Well, I don't know. Okay. Your story, I mean, it fails to hold water. My story fails to hold water? Yeah. That's a good thing. It's like a story bucket. There's a hole in my bucket. There's a hole in your story bucket.

Oh. probably shouldn't bring out my story bucket again nope and uh what else has been going on recently we have caught up with another couple actually this couple we had i mean i've been talking to them for longer than you have so i'm gonna say we've been talking to these guys for three months is that fair i wouldn't know because you've been talking to them longer than I have. So they contacted us on SDC. Then they kind of ghosted for a little while. And then after that, sort of came back again and started talking.

And at that point in time, I was like, listen, you know, you've ghosted a fair bit, you know, what's happening? And look, they really, they came back quite honest and said, look, we're not 100% sure if the lifestyle's for us. We don't really know if we want to be involved in the lifestyle. But, you know, so given that, we don't really want to waste your time and, you know, aren't really sure.

And so we responded with, well, you can always make friendships in the lifestyle you don't have to um just play and you know how about we just catch up over a drink and if at the end of the day we just make some non-judgmental friends in Singapore then that's great yeah it's been a long um it's been a long learning path for us I suppose to understand to grow from where they are at the beginning and whether the weather it was for us and all that sort of thing so it was nice to catch up with them and catch up again with somebody who's at the beginning well they've played multiple times in the past they've even gone to the nudist carp d'arg as well um so that's interesting you know it's it's interesting how sometimes people a little bit slow at the beginning and then then some people kind of go they jump in they're fully committed and then they kind of back off a little bit after they've had some experiences i find that interesting actually they went to also some um fetish parties but anyway so are they from the uk as well they are actually from the uk so there you are so it's now five couples so we we caught up over some wine um we spoke to them and kind of just chatted about everything, lifestyle and our experiences and good and bad and some parties and stuff in Singapore too because they haven't had any experiences here.

So we kind of gave them a bit of insight. I mean, they were a cool couple. They were good fun to hang out with. We didn't really get to any sort of hardcore sexy chat or anything.

It was more just understanding how things work and understanding how we work and trying to figure out how they might work and you know so it wasn't it's not that we got to anything you know overly sexy it was just truly one of those educational type get-togethers i suppose and i had to leave um i had to leave at 11 30 because i was flying out international flight at 1 30 in the morning so i had to get out of there but um they've since messaged us and sort of said again look they're pretty on the on the fence about joining the lifestyle and they think just for our time but they said look if there's any kind of group parties coming up that definitely keep them interested in keep them involved in that but they probably wouldn't do a one-on-one and then recently too we went to bangkok which was a nice fun weekend away we haven't done a weekend in bangkok in like six years yeah it's been a long time didn't realize how long it was until we got there yeah it has changed so much so d was away for work and then i decided to bridge the weekend and come and meet him we tried to find couples originally but what we found is that um when traveling actually you know what because this is a single man and we have had a we have had a run of single men in singapore five in a row that actually turned out and this is this is the vetted men so i mean for the five that probably get to me you've you've spoken to 50 um the the five in a row here in singapore we didn't meet up with but we caught them out in a lie before we met up with them having partners yeah wives girlfriends long-term relationships yeah yeah the double vet is sometimes a good thing the double vet's good because uh what what how this comes about so d goes that's me by the way yes i'm talking in the third person d goes through and vets these guys and has a whole lengthy story chain of sorry a link a lengthy chat about how they've been involved what they're into blah you know there's some standard vetting questions i ask like are you single that's one of the questions do you live in singapore that's another question because we're trying to find people that are local.

And then guess what? When C gets invited to the chat, she then starts asking the same questions. And sometimes, just sometimes, they're dumb enough to not answer the same way. Now, immediately that makes me think straight away that there's something untoward going on. Or if if I can actually add, sometimes they might not slip up in that manner, but they'll only be available on random times. Oh, yeah, I mean... That is a red flag. If somebody tells you that they're only available on, like, say, Tuesday evenings from 7 till 9, that's a bit of a red flag.

Because if're single why um and so then there was one guy recently where yep he was kind of alluding to that he has some restrictions on when he can catch up and so i thought okay well let's just see who this guy is i found him online he um happens to have a wife and a six-month-old child yeah still married recent photos totally cheating on his wife again whatever whatever their relationship is we don't know but um we're just not interested in the drama we don't know and that's the thing if there's not a clear line if it's not black and white then especially if they've if they've said they're single and then they turn out not to be that's a clear lie so the only reason for that lie would be to cover potentially something if they are in a relationship and they say to us that they're in a relationship and their wife's okay with it for example and we were to get to meet their wife and all that sort of thing and perhaps or not or not when then perhaps we might judge it a different different way but um even for me still that's i just uh i don't need the drama i get enough drama at work and at home and you know sees a lot of drama she's she's like one crazy crazy woman so we did when we were going to bangkok we'd started the usual way and we thought okay well let's see about meeting a couple and we started looking online and stc and and everything else and started talking to some couples and you know what i gotta tell you couples be lazy i don't know what it is but when we travel when we're trying to arrange a date to get a couple to go on a date versus to get a single guy to go on a date i can tell you couples just like the the time that they don't want to spend the time talking arranging like some of the some of the times it's pretty simplistic, and I don't know.

I don't know what it is. I can't understand either. I can offer no justification other than the fact that they're just either uninterested in us or lazy. So I've got to kind of midweek, right? Certainly some of them are uninterested in us. There were some couples who said, like, no, sorry, you're not in our age group or you're not in our, you know, there's a list of reasons. But yeah, there were three couples, I think, on the last three days who were still, still appeared to be somewhat interested. Like they'd asked for the details of where we were staying and all this sort of thing.

And then they just sort of faded out. And the last three days, that's when I said to you, let's see if we can find a single guy. Yeah. Well, I think that was a dual decision because it just got too hard. And I was traveling as well. And so we just went, okay, let's go to the single guy.

So you can now take over because you're the one who then has to do all the work yeah absolutely so you know uh open up the the iphone yes apple products for those of you out there that are apple haters um eat your fruit damn it yeah into sdc what else uh into the adult hub which are the three well the only three ways we can really find anything in Asia. And this particular individual actually came from field. Yeah, you've had some off and on success with field. And I'm going to call him the chorizo. The chorizo. Good. Yeah, you like that? I like it. Yeah? Yeah. I like it. It's good.

The chorizo.. So, Mr. Shorty saw, because he's Spanish. How did you pick him out of the bunch? What was the... So, you're looking and how did you then... So, what I typically do on field is I go through and look at all the single guys and find the ones that look what I think fits into what you're looking for in terms of look, in terms of look. Interestingly, Mr. Choriso... How many profiles then are you talking here that you've looked at, which is average? Not average. I mean, there's no average to this because it depends on the country and city you're in.

Okay, in Bangkok, how many did you look at? In Bangkok, it would have been 100.

Okay, so so next question how many would you have narrowed it down to i contacted probably 20 20 that's not bad 20 percent yeah how many of those got back to you three wow okay the the thing is it's it's this is not it's not easier to find singles especially single guys not any easier it's just that there's a lot more leads you know let's let's talk in salesy terms here we've got a lot more leads to turn into opportunities to turn into sales plus two i guess you're not battling with so many calendars right so he's his calendar essentially could be a bit more free than a couple yeah yeah of course but i hadn't gotten to the point of calendar yet yeah so three so three responded three responded um and all three of them were they all responded unfortunately a different not unfortunate but different timings so the chorizo responded straight away he was the quickest response right um he was actually his look was on the borderline of what i thought you would be interested in okay right and when you first saw his photo you said the same thing what did you say do you remember i said it's not a not a great photo of him yeah you can just tell you know how some people send you those photos and you're like you want to almost tell people on their profiles too like that that could be a better photo and after meeting him yeah it's a it's not a great it's a terrible photo so you know sometimes you just capture the wrong angle sometimes you just capture the wrong facial expressions whatever it is and you just know that that person their photo is not doing them justice yeah bit of a shame so anyway you that's what you yeah you said the photo doesn't look right i said yeah i know but this is the conversation and i went through the conversation with you and he was you know um one of the things that really made me interested in him oh is this the quote yeah okay is where is where he said i don't wear a suit but i consider myself a gentleman and my response to that obviously was well you don't need you don't need to wear a suit to be a gentleman um and he was an absolute gentleman from start to finish Yeah, he good actually and then so my question just before we get into our date with him the other two that contacted you had you were you already sold on this no so i i kept chatting no no i wasn't sold on any of them i kept chatting and and i'm never sold on anyone until they turn up to be honest well i mean okay but but before you passed or before you included me in the chat so at some point you had three people talking to you yeah and you had to make a decision on well which one do i get see to chat well no again he was he was first and most and had communicated the most up until that point that's the main reason so i'd gotten to the point where he'd passed all my standard questions that check whether he's an axe murderer a gun murderer a sex maniac or a person who doesn't like cheese and wine because let's face it we know people who don't like cheese and wine who you sleep with regularly just saying who i sleep with regularly is a bit of a stretch but you have more than once but people who don't like cheese and wine yeah we're gonna have to take that offline we'll discuss this later we will yeah it's we'll be discussing oh we will be discussing we will be discussing that sir okay yeah so he was the most he communicated the most He appeared to be the most engaged, right?

And he was very honest as well. Like he- yeah so he was the most he communicated the most he appeared to be the most engaged right and he was very honest as well like he'd said normally i only play with couples once because i'm generally not interested in the part of the excitement for me is the excitement of the mind and meeting new people and that sort of thing he was very honest with what he was looking for um he played before as a couple, which was something else that I found interesting. Well, I guess then they kind of know the dynamics a little bit as well, right? Yeah, absolutely.

But he'd also realized some things along the way. Like, for example, whilst he was in that couple relationship, he realized that he, like like me enjoys seeing his wife or partner with somebody else um unfortunately he realized that a little bit late in their relationship and didn't ever get to experience it before the relationship fell apart so well not unfortunately i suppose because you know you're only throwing extra extra fuel at a fire when things aren't good and you're aiming for that sort of thing anyway.

But, yeah, so they were the main drivers, I suppose, as to why I added you to that chat. Just because he'd passed all the required criteria to then actually be allowed to talk to you. Well, so then I'm talking to him.

And, again, you kind of tend to go back over some of the ground that maybe you've already covered you went over all of the ground not all of it no and i i tend to when i first get in there i apologize i normally apologize and say hey you know i might actually kind of bring up things that that d's already chatted you about but one of the things he actually was a funny um in our three-way conversation he he said you know hey after a play session like what happens yeah what, what happens? Yeah, what do you guys do? What happens? And we went, what do you mean?

Like, we just kind of sit around and chat or have another drink and kind of go from there. And he was like, oh, okay, you know. And he explained why later. Actually, after our play session, it was because of a previous experience, actually his first, with an Asian couple. And they, like, literally it was a... Well, actually, no. They got to the point that after he finished fucking her, the husband said, I'm going to fuck her now. Thank you for your time. There's the door. And he literally had to back out. Put his clothes on.

Put his clothes on as they're fucking in the bed and he's backing out, sort of waving. So hence why he thought that was a little bit strange, and I have to tend to agree. We do prefer, well, we're not prefer. We enjoy sitting around after and chatting and being nude and having more drinks, possibly coming out and having an extra nibble and just hanging out.

Possibly even having a second round, depending on whether they've broken the cookie the first time yeah which we've done before um what broken the cookie we've broken the cookie many times many times no i mean we've done that gone back in come out hydrated you know food fooded up energy intake and then got back into the bedroom yeah because cheese is known as it's high energy release food it's so high you know i I see Olympic athletes running along eating kemen bear as they run. Yeah, they've got a cube of cheese down. Cheese is known as its high energy release food. It's so high.

You know, I see Olympic athletes running along eating camembert as they run. Yeah, they've got a cube of cheese down their sock. Down their sock. It's really gross. I'm just wondering why the fuck anyone would store a cube of cheese down their sock. What makes it even more unpractical is the fact that their legs are running. To get the cheese out of said sock while your feet are moving at high speed, also very awkward. And are they wearing no other garments? They don't have a pocket to put the cheese in. Well, maybe they do. A hat to rest the cheese under.

Maybe the pocket's full of prosciutto. You don't know these things. Maybe so judgy. So water crackers in one pocket, prosciutto in the other, cheese in the socks. Yeah, they're a running cheese. Where does the sun-dried tomato go? I don't even want to know. Sun-dried tomato goes where the sun doesn't shine. Oh, my God, that's terrible. No, no, it's pretty bad. Oh, wow. And youth and everybody out there thinks she's a funny one. Just saying.

It was a really funny story and kind of gave us a little bit of insight into i guess some of his experiences too so some of the questions he was asking kind of started to make sense after we had more of a chat face to face with him and we shared some really funny stories some of our stories as well and some of his stories he had some he had some corkers i gotta tell you oh absolutely it was hilarious it's funny actually um you start to picture people as like mini superheroes and books and it's like you know the the crazy stories of a spanish single guy in bangkok mr shiriso mr shiriso he wears a he wears a cape made from the spanish flag so we we we um we ended up setting up a date um and again he was we said oh great you know you're free Saturday night, and he responded with something along the lines of, woo-hoo, I've been selected or chosen.

No, he asked outright, so does that mean that I've been chosen? Yeah, which was a really strange thing again. Not that strange. No? No, I think it makes you feel special and him feel special. I just think he's actually a very... He's playing the game. He's a very smart individual. That's very possible. Yeah. And so he... He is a smart individual. He is a very smart individual. He knew where we were actually based, like the area, and recommended a bar. So we caught up on the Saturday night. So he recommended a bar. Was that something that fits into the 12 ways to get C into the bedroom? It is.

Yes, it is. Did it work? The bar itself was... No, not the bar. The bar was stinky. The bar was a bit of a letdown. The bar was stinky. Yeah. Literally smelled like cheese that had been in a sock. Or prosciutto that had been in a pocket of a marathon runner. Or, even worse, sun-dried tomato where the sun don't shine. That's what it smelled like. It smelled like six-month-old tube socks from a 16-year-old's bedroom. It was a damp-smelling bar. But we got there. He was running a little bit late and again messaged us. He was only five minutes late. It wasn't late.

Yeah, it was a damp smelling bar but um we got there he was running a little bit late again messaged us he was only five minutes late it wasn't yeah it was nothing um let's not harp on about this lateness when there's five minutes shit it's bangkok i mean the a drop of rain on the road can mean the difference between a 15 minute drive and a two hour drive well it did take me what two and a half hours to get the airport to the hotel? And you did walk the last two kilometers in your stilettos on Bangkok fucking roads. I was that shitty after traveling because I worked all day Friday.

I was up at 5 a.m. I was then at work at 6. I worked all day, got on the plane. And then I had to go to Bangkok for the weekend. Oh, my life is so terrible i did i did it was horrible i did exit the vehicle and take to the streets yeah two last two kilometers last two kilometers in stiletto heels and my bag my luggage you know you're just freaking me out a bit anyway so we had a um so you had to have a shower when she arrived at the hotel that's how sweaty she was she was just like she'd just run a marathon with cheese in her socks. Good date, though. Oh.

sweaty she was she was just like she'd just run a marathon with cheese in her socks oh good date though oh spectacular date we paid and he was very shocked by that it seemed yeah but i mean again again though this is what i'm saying like i think maybe his previous experiences probably haven't been that way but let's think about this right in bangkok paying for three is like paying for one in singapore so it really wasn't that much of a problem yeah it wasn't too it wasn't too bad because you're in a very affluent area with full of tourists it's still yeah you're right it was australia prices which is still like a third of fucking singapore prices so well two thirds but yeah that's true um and then after we invited him back to the hotel.

Well, you invited him back, you slut. I did invite him back. She was totally tarting it up. Which was funny because, again, I think he was a bit... I don't think that's happened before, maybe. Well, no, I don't think it has either. Well, actually, no. Remember he said all his other previous things? He'd only had engagement with the man before he even arrived. Yeah. He said he'd never even spoken to any of the other women before he arrived. Yeah, I was the first female that he'd engaged with in a couple before dating. Before the actual date. Yeah. Which is just nutsoid.

I mean, it happens with us. Sometimes we'll only get the kick details of the guy. And then he's like, oh, you know, I'll show it to her every time, like over nighttime or whatever. Yeah, but no, it's still pretty rare that we don't engage with the woman at some point along the ride. But yeah, so that was interesting. So we went back to our house or our hotel room. But prior to this... Good hotel. Good hotel.

Prior to this, though, we went down to the 7-eleven stocked the fridge oh my god yeah with some beer and some random colored liquor that was just not liquor when it's that color that was that was lolly water yeah you know preparation yeah well that why why was that preparation do you remember why you decided to do that? In case he came back? No, that's not why. Why? The primary reason you've forgotten, because he made a comment after he plays, he said, oh, I like to have a drink and then leave. That was one of his final comments.

And you were like, oh, shit, we need to get a drink so that he can have a drink before he leaves. And drinks when we got back. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so we went back to the hotel, a short walk.

a short walk it was quite good actually pulling back the curtain on your mind and then um and then yeah we just kind of sat sat around chatting for a little bit and and he stands up and he says i hope you don't mind i'm just going to take my shirt off um again first time that's ever happened up front move yeah yeah but you know what it was as ballsy as the um as the lady that we just spoke about before that just came out of the bathroom dressed down yeah it was just like here i am but am did we give them we didn't give that we got to give them some names we'll think about something we'll have to think but um yeah so he stands up takes his shirt off i think then you took your shirt off and then you guys just basically started undressing me now this was getting uncomfortable on a two-seated couch with three people, so I suggested taking him to the bedroom.

Well, that was because we both had our mouth. You were wearing a very particular dress that is very easy exposure to your nipples, so we decided to pick a nipple each. Yeah, and it was getting very uncomfortable on the couch, I've got to say. Yeah, that's probably because it was quite warm inside the dress for a number of reasons. There was a bit of heat rising, I think. And it's a PVC dress. And it's a PVC dress, yeah. Probably not the best choice of dress for Bangkok. We call that vegan leather. Because that makes it sound classier. Vegan leather. Okay. I was wearing a vegan leather dress.

Yeah. But yeah, then we took it in the it into bedroom and i have to say one of the best play sessions we've had with somebody who isn't a long-term play partner yeah yeah it was really just it was just fun fun it was so much fun we're talking and joking and i don't know how long we played for maybe like actually i have no idea i no idea. I have no concept. It's about two hours. About two hours. Yeah. Just such a great time. He was just super fun, super casual. There was a lot of joking, laughing, pulling the piss out of each other.

Yeah, at one point, I was playing with him and he pulled out of me. And then I think he said to you, like, I need a... I need a break. I need a pit stop. Yeah, when he's like i'm tagging you in went and grabbed a beer and then you're like all right then he said i'm tagging you in because if i keep going like this then i'm not i'm going to be done so i'm tagging you in yeah that was funny yeah again just a really he was fucking you that you can say that yeah he was fucking there's a really i don't know it was just really deep up in your business. Fun.

And yeah, he was a, he was really attractive, funny, sexy guy. I, I really enjoyed him and he, and he was actually closer to my age too, which was kind of cool. Yeah.

I think that was probably one of the big differentials for you because it's been quite a long time since you've been someone who was, since you've been with who's around your age so that was um yeah that was i mean it uh a change is as good as a holiday they say yeah absolutely and i guess you know he was a creative person as well and had a lot of body tattoos and oh he was just funny i remember one of his comments was um that he's we're joking about his tattoos and he turned around he's like yeah after the 10th one i've just kind of like lost all respect for my skin yeah i just get anything now i really don't give a shit again it just kind of goes to show you that light-hearted kind of creative funniness i liked it yeah so yeah any any standouts from that play session um i think we've covered most of them mr chorizo was uh a whole lot of fun and interestingly so normally he's the thing he said, normally afterward he sort of cuts off the communication and sort of disappears.

But this time around he's actually been quite the little communicator afterward and would like to catch up with us again. Yeah, and he's openly said, look, if his girlfriend moves, well, his ex-girlfriend moves back, they may reconcile. And he was saying, so I would not lie to her. I'd tell her openly. And he said, but if you guys come to Bangkok, it'd be nice to catch up as pants-on friends even. If they're back together or alternatively, if they're not, pants-off friends. Yeah. So, yeah, it was kind of cool. And he sat around and had some more beers after and then left. Were they beers?

Yeah, they were beers. They were beers. Local beers. Local beers. Yeah. Yeah. And then after, we both actually ended up going out. Well, we were hungry. We were super hungry. Yeah. And we went. And then there was a lot of effort involved in that. We got dressed. We hit the streets and we found a bar that was open with a live band playing some like blues. Some desperate 80s 80s music. No, it was, like, blues and stuff. It was 80s blues. And then, yeah, we had some more drinks. Which is any 80s music because all 80s music makes you blue. It does not. It does. Don't be a hater.

I went through the 80s. I know what it's all about. Yeah, so we had a few drinks and... No, we just hung out and then we went back to the hotel. And we ate a bowl of... Nachos. Nachos, yeah. Delicious. They weren't. They were terrible. Actually, I don't think they were that good, actually. They were horrible. You were just drunk. Yeah. No, they were terrible nachos. Yeah. But they were appropriately timed nachos. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Terrible nachos become very good nachos if they're appropriately timed. Yeah. At that time of the morning. Yeah, of the morning. Ah, C's recollections, fantastic.

It was 1.30 in the morning. Yeah, yeah. When we got back to bed, it was, yeah. It was 1.30 when the nachos came, sweetie. Yep, 1.30. Don't make me look back on our kick conversations with friends. 1.30 when the nachos arrived. I totally agree. Okay. Yep. Yeah, I don't really stand out from it. Oh, I know a standout. Do you remember when we first started playing and he said, I hope you don't mind, but I really enjoy to give head. Like I really enjoy to go down on a lady and pleasure her orally. And I was like, damn, that sounds terrible.

He didn't use those words at all because if he had used those words, I probably would have turfed him out of the room. What did he say? He said, I really pussy did he yeah okay so then i straddled his face which was just good all around he asked you to do that did he yes there you go remember so that was that was a my favorite thing about about eating pussy is when somebody sits on my face again oh darn yeah so i had to i had to suffer through that yeah i believe you I believe your first orgasm was actually on his face. I think it was too, actually. No, it was.

The clean-up afterwards is always fun. Condoms strewn around the room. Yeah. Yeah. We try to be nice to housekeeping. That's a probably fair point. Just folks out there who hire hotel rooms to have a bit of a place, they should just be nice to the housekeeping. Got to police your brass. Don't leave your condoms and everything lying around.

Just pick them up stuck to the wall don't just leave it stuck to the wall put them in the bin that's just mean be friendly yeah and don't leave it hidden anywhere because there's nothing worse than a three-week-old condom smell nothing i thought the cheese in the socks was bad no nothing like it although that is cheese in a sock so it might oh my god oh god why so why yeah fun fun couple of weeks and then upcoming it's it's busy holy hell it's busy in the next month well it's only it's not busy for for anything sexy it's just work busy yeah we just travel schedule busy we have a couple of international trips on the radar.

We're moving house and then we're off to Desire. So we literally have no time. We have one scooch of time. It's cool though. I've been really enjoying the last couple of weeks, last month. Anyway, yeah. So we have some very busy travel schedules coming up. I get to go back to the land of the free, awesome, sexy people which is not the us of a that's and the angry angry animals area and the people love australian animals and i'm like they're really they're mostly just angry yeah when you think about it well koalas are stoned off the kangaroos they're pretty happy kookaburras, all pretty angry.

Yeah, and you haven't even mentioned anything venomous yet. No, I'm just talking about the ones that you interact with every day. Yeah, magpies are pretty angry. They are, like, vicious. Do not fuck with a magpie. No. Take your eye right out. Yeah, it's like magpie mafia.

So I'm back there for a little while, and C is off to somewhere in the middle of asia nowheresville and um where yeah so for the next i get to go to all the good places the next two three weeks we're traveling and then where we come then we head overseas and we stop in at dallas to see jay and angie from the average swingers yeah and a whole heap of other people now yeah awesome Yeah, we're going to actually, oh my God, I can't, we're going to call it, it's a swingers club in Dallas and we haven't been to a club. When was the last time we went to a club? Last time. Two years?

Yeah, it's two years ago. It's when we were both in Sydney last week. It is ridiculous. I was thinking about this today and I was like, I'm so freaking excited that we get to go to a club. I'm a little bit concerned'm gonna like lose my marbles and just be running around like you know yeah i'm just afraid you're gonna break the cookie the the day before we go to desire for the week none of that yeah yeah let's see shall we all right i'm gonna be taking a vat lube with us when we go. A vat. I'm just going to pour the lube all over you.

You got a little bit messy with the lube the other day, actually, just with us playing. So I'm not sure that those in glass houses should throw stones. I mean, we've had the last few play sessions, you've had to wipe your hands on the sheets after lubricating somebody's penis. Yeah, I got a little bit vigorous for the loop. And wipe your hands like six times on the sheets. I ended up sleeping in six wet patches. Three of which were yours. So, yeah, I'm not sure you can pull that one on me. Oh, also, I think a little while ago we spoke about sex toys, right? And I bought you some sex toys.

I have to report back on this because I bought some sex toys online and... You bought some dodgy Chinese import ones first. Two of them were non-brand name sex toys and they broke. And so I thought...

Whilst I was using them, which is, is can i tell you is really fucking frustrating so then i went back online and i bought the brand name versions now what happened there d because in my head i was like okay these are going to be better broke it broke it i'm actually a little concerned i have a really pointy sharp penis maybe my penis is like a razor blade it's just like cutting through shit that's not happening no but maybe my penis is pointing you just get too vigorous with a sex toy how can one get too vigorous with a sex toy i'm just saying isn't that what they're for they're for having sex with yeah i don't know i don't know what you're doing wrong so i mean i can tell you i'm not doing anything wrong i'm putting it on penis and masturbating with it, and my penis is just ultimately way too hard or too sharp, and it's just busting its way through that shit.

You know what? This is actually probably a good conversation I have with Nikki and Daniel, who will actually be coming to Dallas. They did a toy ride, the toy ride show dealing with sex toys.

We can actually tell them this story, the fact that you keep breaking i'm not sure i'm not sure i'm proud about this to be honest you know this is this is not something this is not something i'm happy about no i'm not either because he's buying sex toys and then you wait a second i'm halfway through masturbating my cock blows out the side of the fucking egg then what then what am i going to do i'm just laying there and I have to masturbate with my hand like some sort of weirdo retro dude. You know, it's funny actually.

I'd be interested to see with so many sex toys now in the market, like the percentage of people just hand stimulating versus sex toy stimulating these days. Men are fucking lazy. We're too lazy to roll out of bed and get a sex toy. Yeah, I know, but women more so. Men are too fucking lazy to then wash out the sex toy afterward. That's true. I mean, I think most sex toys for men, they're a one-use scenario. They use it and go, should I wash it out? Fuck it. Just throw it in the bin. At least, though, the upside to that is their penis isn't poking out the side of the egg.

So what you're saying is recyclable sex toys are probably... Like, as in not as in somebody else gets to use them? I'm not going to make any sex toys out of, like, an egg carton, if that's what you mean. Paddle pop stick. That's not it. Paddle pop stick. Sex toy is not the way to go. No.

For all of you in the US who don't know what a paddle pop is is because i'm pretty sure that's an australian is okay fine come on coba um i'm pretty sure they call it a paddle pop stick there too okay whatever who cares yeah who really nobody nobody listening cares like legit who cares so yeah so yeah, so that's the problem with sex toys for me. I keep blowing them up. Have you used the other one I got you too, like the flesh laddie type thing? No. Okay. I can't poke my way out the side of it because it's got no side.

What I keep doing is buying Dee all these sex toys because, you know, you can get different kinds of inserts and, you know, they sell different feel and textured ones on the inside i keep buying them and i keep saying to d hey is this one different he's like no feels exact same as the other one except you when you go online there's you know 125 different kinds of inserts that you can buy because they're all supposed to feel different and stimulate different ways what a load of bullhogging well maybe just i have an unsensitive pointy penis um you know if we we're getting really maybe just I have an unsensitive pointy penis.

You know, if we're getting really into it now, apparently it's very pointy because it keeps poking its way through. It's not pointy. I've been with men with pointy penises. You don't have a pointy penis. Wow. I mean, you've been with other men? Pointy penis. Sorry, I just wanted to see if I could say that properly. Yeah. The other, what was I doing?

Oh, the other thing is it's not, I don't think a penis is that sensitive let's throw that out there yeah who can tell the difference between the inside let's talk about a fleshlight yep if somebody's used multiple varieties of fleshlight given fleshlight was like one of the first male masturbatory tools who's tried a fleshlight and then a different fleshlight and gone oh my god i can feel that that one's jenna jemisin and that one's some other insert porn name here yeah so um yeah i'd love to hear that you found something that feels different because i mean the only real difference that i can feel even in vaginas is maybe a difference in squeezing like not and i'm not even saying in there's no in size that I can feel even.

It's just that somebody might be squeezing while it's happening. That was something else he said to me when we first started playing. What? He remarked on how tight I was, which, by the way, was quite actually nice to hear as I'm sliding onto his cock. That was nice. Which, by the way, every woman loves to hear, I think. Yeah, that was just nice. Yeah. He's just sliding onto his cock. Not a pointy penis, though. He doesn't have a pointy penis. No, he doesn't have a pointy penis. No. Nice balls. I didn't notice his balls, but I'm glad that he had nice balls. And he was nicely manicured as well.

Yeah, he was manscaped. Yeah. Got to keep that shrubbery down. So what are we going to call that couple? What do you think? What's a good nickname? I'm just trying to think. What do you got? Well, I'm trying to think because they're like really funky, right? They're quite glam. Glam? Yeah, they're quite, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know? They like the finer things in life, but they party as well. I don't know. Should we call them the bedazzles? Yep, the bedazzles. That's good. Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Bedazzle. They're like a shiny, fun, happy... The bedazzles, sort of. The bedazzles. Yep.

This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging down under. I did have one person one time send us an email like, I found you, and it was some random blonde lady who lived in Australia who was like a journalist or something. I was like, no. Please tell me that you haven't. Please don't contact that lady. Please tell me that you haven't contacted that lady.

That innocent, innocent lady that lives somewhere in Australia because there's more than one blonde person in Australia who wears glasses I'm just throwing it out there Found you My God I did reply and I was like, okay, listen One, stalk her much And two, please don't contact her because you're actually wrong And three, here's a photo of me just for good measure because that's not me That's not, yes, that was pretty funny Yeah