P46 – Climbing, Cheating and the C-bomb

Transcript

Hi there, my name is C. I'm D, and you're listening to Swinging Down Under. Our journey is a couple through the swinging lifestyle. Are you into open relationships? Or exploring new things in life? This is our podcast. Experiences, both good and bad, reviews and events, and more here at Swinging Down Under. Come on, join us. This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. Thanks very much for joining us, everyone, for another really informative, funny, witty, amazing, Totes Amazeballs episode of Swinging Down Under. Yeah.

It's okay to plug yourself in the first few seconds, right, absolutely. I figured that that's the only way to go. I figure women plug themselves with butt plugs all the time, so. Well, yeah. I mean, you've certainly got a little, yeah, and it was a terrible moment. I liked it. I'm being told, I'm being told, and I try to listen to our fans.

I'm being told that I'm being too harsh on C due to um her immense sense of humor that everybody loves so uh-huh well yeah i just like snapped my fingers and moved my head a little bit yeah you did what are we talking about tonight well it's a three-parter kind of it is it is it's a threesome yeah it's a menage of parts menage of parts yeah which is what happens when you get three parts of three people and just moosh them together. You get a menage-a-part-o. Or a fill-me-up Batman. A fill-me-up Batman. Is that really? I don't know. Made it up on the spot. Well, I know.

You're the funny one, so I'm going to have to say ha-ha-ha. Well, what are we talking about? Well, first we're going to be talking about an old couple in terms of some of our very good friends and long-term friends first, play partners as well, who came to visit us here in Singers. You may remember them from very, very early episodes, The Belay Couple. Yeah, it's like episode six maybe or seven is still when our sound was crap before. We met them at one of our pub crawls in Sydney, as a matter of fact. Before Lawrence from Our Secret Spot actually gave us good microphones. Yeah.

That's correct. I think the world has thanked him many times over. So, thanks to Law for those again. Go TL. Yeah, so our friends came to visit us here in Asia. So Belay, the Belays, Mr. and Mrs. Belay, came to visit us. They did. So they were here for the better part of a week. I'm going to just round it out to a week because it makes life easier for me. So we had a lot of food.

Super super fun week super fun week super indulgent week i'm gonna say too a lot of food like just it was it was cray cray pretty sure we ate our body weight in food well that's the thing we love about these guys so one of the reasons that we miss sydney so much is really some of these relationships that we've formed and the people that we really enjoy continually playing with as we've mentioned their pants on pants off these guys are you guys know who you are all of them they are just there are people there are people if i could think of people that you know the world was ending kind of what would you want to do i mean yeah hopefully my.

Hopefully my name would be One. Wine, Cheese, Meat. Whoa, hey, me? Yeah, I'm just saying, with those people. So do I finish at the end of Wine, Cheese, Meat? You can come. Badooms. Well, we need to get the drum kit out tonight. You've got a lot of ba-doom touches going. Amazing, amazing friends, pants on and pants off, and really well-suved to us. Wow, I mean, I'm pretty sure they can feel the wind blowing up their ass from Australia right now. Well, I hope so. Maybe we can ride that wind down under and get some more action. Oh, good Lord. Wow. But, yes, an indulgent week. Super fun.

Went out, he just had an amazing time. But the thing about this couple, and we really have never gone into too much detail and we really probably won't go into too much tonight. Bullshit. It's going to be fucking balls in all detail. I guess to put it i just want to lay some i want to lay some ground information ground information she loves to play with ladies no she's very bisexual she loves men she loves very bisexual i think she's further toward the other maybe a little bit further on the kinsey.

And, you know, she's super intrigued by both sexes, you know, really interested in spending time with both people. I think you might be stepping a little forward here. I'm just laying the ground rules so then – oh, not the ground rules, the ground intel so then you can proceed to talk about maybe some of the things you want to talk about.

Well, I mean, I was going to just talk about the fact that we drank 11 bottles of wine in one day oh yeah not to mention a number of um bottles small bottles yes but um quite a significant amount of scotch as well i would like to say there's video evidence of some pole dancing on what could only be deemed as non-structural poles that exist in our condo in Singapore. There's video evidence. They're structural. Are they? Yeah. They hold the second bedroom up, yeah. Okay. Retraction, pole dancing on what can only be described as very structural. Very structural. And important to the household.

Yeah. You pull those fuckers down, the house comes down with it. So pole dancing, there was some interesting things happening here. Well, let's just say the ladies weren't cutting it. You really, you took to that pole? Like I was paying my way through college. Like you were paying your way through college. I did a pretty good job. I think the video is actually quite spectacular. I think, you know, I'm still happy with it. You are? Yeah. I think they have a copy, don't they? Yeah. The valets have a copy. They're the only people with a copy. I think that we don't have any.

I know, that's quite frightening. We have some interesting copies of them. There was also, there was some karaoke. We sent that to the average swingers very late at night. Yeah, well, very early in the morning. Whichever way you want to put it. Which is about sort of their time, normal, you know, US. But it was a spectacular evening. Started very early on.

We actually went to, I mean, this is a bit non-swingery, but we went to a escape room, which we probably shouldn't have drunk at all before we went to the escape room given that we needed you know all of our faculties in order but we may have had a small champagne on the way there from memory just just a scooch you know the walk was two kilometers so i had to hydrate we had to hydrate so you know we decided it's cheaper just by the bottle rather than getting four glasses economical hello so i mean it's all about saving money so we uh we went to this event um already a little pissy had a lot of fun in there anyone who hasn't done an escape room was my first one actually our first one.

I didn't think it'd be my jam, but I actually quite enjoyed it. Yeah. Give it a shot. If you really get stuck in there, I mean, worst case scenario, if you're there with swinging friends, then, I mean, you could just get it on, right? Could you push the help button for that too? Like, hello, hi. Yeah. What we're going to need is some towels, some lubricant. Some condoms. And about 45 minutes. To solve this puzzle that is Mrs. Belay's body. Yeah. And do you guys have strap-ons? Speaking of, let's get into some of the cool and funny and interesting stuff.

Well, I mean, yeah, I think I'm going to let you take this because I'll be frank. She, well, yeah, you probably only have a certain opinion. I only have proportion i'm gonna say i'm gonna 30 or 40 percent you can take some of that then okay so mrs belay had um recently purchased a um strapless strap a strapless strap on internal to her and obviously external to there's no other way to hold it. Yeah, I don't. I mean, what? Yeah. I'm just explaining it. Ear holes. Nostrils. It's also a vibrating one as well.

So, it's quite a- I guess for me, we've tried strapless strap-ons and they really haven't worked because the part that's inserting inside me is not really robust enough, I guess, to maintain that movement and that friction and whatever. Well, I mean, we need to be honest here. We've only ever tried fairly low-end versions of the strapless strap-on and because of that, they don't have a very big proboscis. Ooh, nice. It's a word I came up with just now. A proboscis that inserts into you. So because of that, they generally push out. All sorts of mayhem, really. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

So she brought this along, but basically the evening progressed and we moved into the bedroom. Now – That was after my ravishing dance. I think my pole dancing is what really drove – It's what got everyone hot and heavy. I know, right? She was like, oh, my God, I'm so wet by Dee's dancing. Now I'm going to take C into the bedroom. That's where she was at. Yeah, that's exactly. I think that's exactly what she said to the letter. Yeah. It's amazing. Your amazing dancing turned her onto me. Yeah. Just leaving that there. Yeah. I mean, hey, you can put a paperweight on it as well if you like.

I'm pretty sure that that's some awesomeness. Thank you.

onto me yeah just leaving that there yeah i mean hey you put a you know you can put a paperweight on it as well if you like i'm pretty sure that that's some awesomeness so i should be thanking you yeah thank you so much d for getting mrs belay so hot and heavy that she took me to the bedroom it is about time i mean i've been holding off on this thank you and and asking for it for like weeks now and you finally realized I'm I actually don't know how I time I should like thank you, and asking for it for like weeks now and you finally realized.

I actually don't know how I tie my shoelaces without you around. Thank you so much, honey. All right, moving on. Oh, side note, shoelaces, swinger event, never double knot. True. Yes. If you're going to a swinger event, never double knot your shoelaces because one thing that's for shit sure I don't know. Never double knot. True. Yes. If you're going to a swinger event, never double knot your shoelaces because one thing that's for shit sure is that when you want to get your shoes off, you want to get them off quick, right?

Because generally there's something a lot more interesting than shoelaces to be thinking about. Total side note, back onto the story. I got it. So we progressed into, well, during the dance, we started kind of getting a little bit you know sexy during during the dance during my dance no no during the dances out on the floor like my dance everybody was kind of like taking their clothes off and you know being a bit more sexual and then we moved into the bedroom now this is kind of where d has absolutely no idea you do for a little bit and why was that she why was that? She kicked you guys out.

Yeah, we got thrown out of the room. It was hilarious. She basically pounced on me and it was this funny situation where she was being, you know, really dominating and I was like, no, let's try to dominate you. And we actually, I said to her. The switches were switched the wrong way, I think.

I was trying let's you know let's do you want to be tied to the bed we have some under mattress um restraints i'd really like that let's spend some time you know pleasuring you now normally she's not she's not big on that she's not big on that she likes to dominate can i say wasn't big on it this night wasn't big on it this night and look although i gave it a shot gave it. And look. Although, gave it a shot. Gave it a shot. To her credit. That's what I was going to say. Sometimes it's kind of, you know, you just kind of check and see whether or not you are interested in something. I mean.

She reinforced the fact that she was not interested in it. Not interested, no. Yeah. So, three people kind of working on somebody. Sometimes it's people like it and other times they don't. Yeah. She didn't. But. Remove the restraints. Did but didn't. Did but didn't. Yeah. Yeah. Not ideal, but enjoyed it. Yes.

And yes and so center of attention not her forte no but loves to please other people oh yeah mainly you so she pounces on me i'm trying to do you know i'm trying to do the whole like no i want to be dominant and let me you know kiss on your neck and pleasure you and touch on you and all the rest of it and And then she's like, no, pushing me back down. So this was kind of fumbling and going on for a bit. And at this point is when the men were in no uncertain terms. Invited to leave the room. Ejected from the room. Ejected from the room would be a better way to put it.

There was no, hey, guys, why don't you, I don't know, why don't you guys go and have some discussions? No. Maybe in the lounge, smoke a cigar. Maybe you guys can go and bond. It was get out. It's girly time. Yeah. I think they were the exact words. I think that was, yeah, we need some lady time. We need some lady time, yeah. So you departed. So just, I mean, just to land on one of our rules here with the same room play, you know. Not the first time this has happened. No, I know. I'm totally pulling the piss.

It was actually quite funny because you forgot to mention, everyone's naked at this point. So the two guys are standing outside the door because, I mean, let's be honest, we really wanted to be in there because we know that there was something really cool happening. We're standing outside the door with a glass of scotch each and just talking. I mean, and we're quite booed, so I'm going to say awkwardly talking. Really? Well, I mean, not all. I mean, we could, you know. I just imagine you both standing there with the scotches very regal. Mr. Belay and I could never talk awkwardly.

But, no, actually, it was quite regal now that I think about it. All of a sudden, yeah, just to paint a picture right now, consider like some really regal people drinking. Like a sherry glass. Yeah, like in a sherry glass. Holding our hands out, just. Ooh, I can taste a small amount of Scotland in there. That's the Isles of, I don't know, somewhere. I'm sure somebody else knows. Well, they're Scottish, so I'm sure they probably very much know. Well, he does. I mean, he bought fantastic scotch here with him. Would kind of know a thing or two. And then poured some of it down the sink.

About the national drink. Never. Sorry, I need to stop here. Okay. So he got to buy a glass of scotch for both of us. He drank his scotch and then realized he was getting a little pissy, so decided in some sort of weird infinite wisdom that he would pour the other glass of scotch down or what he considered his glass of scotch down the sink. I mean, this was nice scotch. And for anyone out there, scotch does not go off. I mean, it's got a pretty good shelf life. Well, there's two crimes to this. One, you poured good alcohol down the sink in Singapore where shit's expensive. Yeah.

Two, it wasn't your drink. It was somebody else's. So stop pouring people's down. It wasn't his drink. It was my drink. He's pouring my drink down the sink. What was that, like hashtag swing a faux pas oh my god i don't i don't think that needs the swing of it that's just human faux pas human faux pas yeah i mean wow so yeah i mean i just want to go out on a limb and say one step down the ladder there so not true no not at all so the boys get kicked out of the room and the girls are having some some very feminine girl time. So this sounds like a good, we need some explanation here.

This sounds good. So the boys get kicked out of the room and the girls are having some very feminine girl time. So this sounds like a good, we need some explanation here. As I said before, there's a lot of rumbling around, a lot of backwards and forwards. There's her trying to, you know, dominate me and going down on me and touching my boobs and caressing me. And there's the flip of that and me going, wow, I haven't also, I haven't been with a woman like this for a long time too. And me going, wait a second, I also want to, you know, do the same. I'm trying to caress you.

I'm trying to, you know, do all these things. And so it was this really funny, like, I think we did actually roll around the bed a couple of times. You know what you should have done? 69. I mean, 69 is not a great thing for anyone getting pleasure. Let's be honest. I i mean it's like everybody's sort of too involved in what's going on to really get but in that particular instance bit of girly time girly kitty kitty girly pussy time pussy time it's pussy time pussy time but the funny thing was the guys were involved one guy guy was invited back into the room briefly and it was a request.

You were standing out here. You would remember it. No. Excuse me, Mr. Blake, can you just run upstairs and go get me my vibrator? I remember now. And then he proceeded to do that, brought it in, and she's like, good, get out. Yes. Thank you for your services. Yeah, that was hilarious. But we used that. But the reason I want to mention this is that that, I've got to get the name of it, and maybe I can put it up in the details on the podcast, but that was amazing.

That was great great the vibrator or the yeah well both her using it and then the equipment itself are you talking about the dub the yes that's not a vibrator well it's a it's a strapless strap on it's not a vibrator people knew where i was going it had a it has a vibratory function but it's so anyway it's primary function it's good good Yeah. Great. It's probably the best one that I've ever seen, experienced. So, I mean, yeah, hats off to that one. So I have to ask which end of the strapless strap-on were you on? Well, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? The end that was inside me.

How does that sound? Is it the phallic end or the proboscis end that goes into it? so you were on the phallic end you're you were you were the receiver self-explanatory oh no because you said you were flipping around and things were going on i was the receiver you were the receiver that's the first time you received no we tried it in the philippines remember and it was a serious failure epic failure this is But this is what I want to talk about, this thing.

It's always funny when, not funny, but it's interesting, and it can be a little bit chuckle where women are using strap-ons because I've done it. I've been using one, and I've been on the receiving end, and it's always like this is, one, this is actually quite hard. Yeah, I'm working up a sweat here.

Two, where do we, like, is it good in is it like this is good because it's not your it's not your body part so you can't it's difficult to feel yeah um and then you know there's that constant like hey is this working for you or whatever so during the midst of of um using this you know we were kind of giggling and chatting and at one point i think she was i think she said to me like you know is this feeling good or how is this and i'm like shut up i'm gonna come like seriously just just keep fucking me keep going yeah what are you doing whatever you're doing just keep doing um and i think that's at the point that you guys actually walked in by memory yeah because you did then as we walked into the door i think you actually came yeah i think that was so missionary position with that it was great i'll have to get the name of it i'll put it up because if anyone's interested in finding a strapless strap on if you that works yeah that works you know if you want to play with that i i um i think it's great yeah i'm not sure how it would go for pegging i'm assuming reasonable i don't know who knows yeah i don't know it's not something that it's not something that we tried so we'd have to i'm not sure if they've tried it either so anyway but um but yeah quite quite cool and so then i'm gonna let you go now because this is when you walked in you're gonna let me go this is where you can take i i actually thought that i was there for most of that stuff but apparently i wasn't no because there was a lot of like she went down on me for a while i went down on her you know we're rubbing on each other you know there was all of that lead up before that the um strapless trappler never got involved so um then we came in well i mean be honest we were perched at the corner of the bed for a while still watching you ladies go for it and and um which was i mean really quite cool again i think the lady time was very important to mrs belay she desperately wanted a bit of lady time and i think again like you said you hadn't been um adequately with a successfully successfully i mean been with a few, you know, I was with that lady in the Philippines.

There was the lady that we, the Kink and the Condo podcast we spoke about here. I think, can I ask though, do you think the failure of the men tarnished the ladies you were with? Oh, yeah.

Because for anyone who's listened to us for a while, you'll know that she went through a period of like six months of issues with the guys um uh shit try not to apply any pressure out there to the guys because i'm i i mean we all know the um the uh the effect that a group a group play session can have on a man but yeah she i think i think it really did kind of mess with you right you know you you also then didn't have as much fun even with the ladies because the men weren't performing well for me not only it's um you know if i am interested in that because not always will i play with a lady yeah i mean if i'm interested and it's You know for me it's it's preferable to have that kind of more fluid sexuality where i can just kind of play with anybody in the room if i'm interested in them and to have kind of some well if you're not they're not in the room yeah to have some failures there or or you know circumstances that weren't as great as they could be yeah of course it affects everything else going on yeah that whole play session then becomes a well you know there was some slight positives but there was some other ones that could have been better yeah now um let's be honest my memory of this and i think you even your memory of this is a little hazy so you may correct me along the way in terms of some of the things that happened but um from memory when after we walked in and sort of watched you guys play for a while um mr belay you were uh going down on mrs belay and he came around behind you and started fucking you from behind yep which was uh he tends to do that he has a little sneaky little way of doing that doesn't he's like little, fuck you.

Because he does that, like, he does that, yeah, when I'm going down on her. Does he sidle? I think he sidles around. When she's going down on me, like, there's always some just random sneaking up of Mr. Belay, like, oh, hey, now I'm here. Oh, now... Oh, no, my penis fell right inside you. Yeah. Yes, I think he sidles up. Definitely, it's a sidle.

It's not a walk- a walk up it's not a strut it's a sidle okay and then uh yeah before you know it you're being fucked from behind well does he still have the scotch in his hand very suave like i mean it's a suave yeah he's got no scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other i mean that's he's standing there and he's just all he's doing is his pelvis is moving his upper body doesn't move at all it's quite amazing is he talking about like business at this point in time as well just you know no no he's talking – all he's doing is his pelvis is moving. His upper body doesn't move at all.

It's quite amazing. Is he talking about, like, business at this point in time as well? Oh, no, no. The latest. He's talking about the market. He's talking about how the market is and, you know, how his scotch has gone up two points. Yeah, two points dropped in the NASDAQ today. So, anyway, he was fucking you from behind and obviously doing quite a good job because I don't think you could continue going down on Mrs. Belay because your moaning started outdoing the – Yeah, I think you stepped in at that point anyway. Yes. You were going down on her, so. Yes, I did.

Well, I mean, because you – I mean, you couldn't – I was letting down the team. You were letting totally – You had to step in. I tapped you in. Yeah, you tapped me in. I mean, this is a tag event, right? And there was also, I mean, always during these sessions, like it's fun and there's a lot of talking and joking and there's some moments where you'll stop and do something else and talk and start up again. So I guess to close off with these guys, I slept with you, I slept with him, I slept with her. And towards the end, I think she actually mentioned that you guys hadn't had penetrative sex.

Yeah, absolutely. Which, look, it's not always a requirement. And this is the perfect time for me to use the phrase swings and roundabouts, right? Because it's one of those things. It doesn't have to be all the time penetrative sex or even orgasmic sex as long as we're all having fun. Exactly. Which we were. I mean, we had a blast. Granted, we were all a little pissy and some of us, looking at you, Mrs. Belay, some of us may have not had any memory of that the next morning, or at least not a very clear memory of anything the next morning. We had fun. We enjoyed ourselves.

And that's what it's all about, right? If you're not having fun whilst you're having sex, you're fucking doing it wrong. Yeah. And that's super key. I guess if we want to take anything away from this event, it's the fact that we just have so much fun with our friends regardless regardless what happens like we're just going to have a really great time and we communicate really well and we walk away from it and just have you know just better communication so i think this was night two from memory i feel like it was feel like it was night three. Maybe night two or three, right?

For the listeners out there, though, guess what happened to me the next morning? Yay! Not the next morning. Oh, that evening. It was that evening. Yeah. So, for everyone who knows, I've spoken about it before on the podcast. Please feel free to email me about this if you have similar issues. But I tend to be quite sensitive to getting urinary tract infections when we do play a lot. And so, of course, at like three in the morning, I'm woken up by a urinary tract infection. So, there's a few things that add to this, though. You've been drinking, which means you're not well hydrated.

You haven't drunk a lot of water. You're not clearing, you know, the urinary tract regularly. Multiple plays. So, I had lubrication i had um penetrative sex with her with him with you granted we use the same condoms and lubricant because they were over but also just even having sometimes female to female play or being going down it was a it was a long day um which means you really weren't hydrated at all, which didn't allow you to clean the urinary tract at the end of the session, which, I mean, it sounds weird, and I know you're looking at me like, shut the fuck up.

But one of the best ways to stop a UTI is to, and C is currently gesturing to take over my wine glass one of the best ways to and she has done so successfully to prevent a uti is to clear the urinary tract now i've become quite an expert on this because if we go to a place like let's say desire which we're headed to in november yep if we have sex with another couple on night one or worse, I have sex with you unprotected on night one and then you get a UTI.

Well, I mean, I understand that sex is not on your radar for the next few days, which doesn't destroy our event because we still have fun with people. We still manage to chat. Yeah, but it's just crappy. It's just shit for you. I mean, I don't want you to be sick. It's not cool. Exactly, because you're in a bit of pain.

So that that happened so that threw me out for the rest of the event but i mean for the rest of the week but regardless friends visiting some event regardless it was an event but it was um just one of those things so yeah if you if you have situations like that and you're you know trying to tackle it and you're in the you're thinking about joining the lifestyle, you're not too sure about it, please send me an email. I have a lot of practice with getting urinary tract infections. And getting rid of urinary tract infections. And getting rid of them.

I had thrush last year at Desire when they were massaging me with a fragrant oil. Please do email me. You can actually send it to me personally on c at swingingdownunder.com if you don't want Dee to see it, and I'll respond to you. If you have any problems with your penis, hit it against a tree. That might help it. Rub some coal on it, and it'll be fine. Give me an email. Vaginas be temperamental as. Oh, man, they're like the Ferrari of the sex. Thank you.

um give me uh an email and vaginas be temporal temperamental oh man they're like the ferrari of the sex organ world it's like oh oh you took that for a spin that's broken and now it's going to cost you 30 grand but when they work they work amazingly well that's actually kind of a funny analogy for a baby you took it for a spin oh now that's 18 years of your life 18 which country are you in well i mean that's sorry folks i mean i'm still struggling with her with with uh see's jokes everyone else seems to like them i mean eight years and counting honey you better get used to do you have anything else to add on the belay no i don't except that a fucking thank you for coming we love you guys and we'll be down in sydney soon so um there's a few people we want to catch up with while we're down there there is a few yeah we might just pack them all into one room i don't see a problem with that yeah they may they may but i don't um we had an epiphany yesterday before well i did yeah i i had we had a i had a comment which brought on an epiphany for you we've kind of spoken about this before but this was like absolutely understand it we're now a couple of years in the lifestyle yeah we get it yeah so the epiphany was about i made a simple comment which was when you've been in the lifestyle cheating is no longer about sex the cheating cheating is now actually about emotion or it could be yeah well i mean generally if you're in an open relationship and the negotiation happens then you would be able to have sex with anyone that you want, right?

Provided, again, I'm in the room. You know, there's a few – we have a few provisos. But that being the case, it should be – you should be able to have sex with who you want to have sex with, correct? Well, that's right.

And I guess the reason we got talking about this is that the whole discussion around how society acceptance of swingers or people in the lifestyle, whatever however you title yourself of course it's up to you how society takes that and um some people accept it some people don't now generally i found and i found it in the workplace in my um in my friend circle that um cheating is almost starting to become acceptable to a point. People are like, oh, yeah, you know, my girlfriend or my husband slept with another person, like we're working through it.

But then swingers, it's like, oh, wait, you do that regularly? That's disgusting. That's disgusting, yeah, which is really the finest of ironies is that it's – well, I don't know whether that's ironic, but whatever. It's hypocritical. Yeah, yeah. It's a very different mentality to be saying, oh, my husband cheated, but I'm okay with that now. Versus we've had the conversation up front. We're both comfortable. We love each other, and this is the path where we're going to go down and we're accepting of it. Yeah.

So, you know, it was, again, I suppose the epiphany for you came because it was more of the fact that now it's actually worse. If one of us cheats, cheating in the lifestyle is worse because there's no other reason for us to do it, you know, within boundaries.

There's no other reason for us to do it with the exception of the fact that we actually have true emotional feelings for somebody else right so a scenario that you know and it's it's been it's a tale as old as time but um and and forgive me i am going to say that my partner cheated because i'm a woman so i'm going to say the man cheated um i don't mean to say that men are the only people the only culprits but this is the storyline i'm going with so you know your husband cheats or your partner cheats with a woman at work let's say she's the secretary whatever he comes home or you find out there is a discussion to the point where he's like it didn't mean anything it's only sex sex, maybe you never give me enough sex anymore or whatever, I wanted something different, whatever the discussion is.

And then you have a discussion about, well, let's move on, it's only sex. At that point for monogamous couples, there's really, you know, he'll say like, it didn't mean anything, I didn't love her, whatever, and that's broken down to then it's a physical act. Whereas for Dee and I now being in lifestyle for a couple of years and knowing how we've grown in our relationship, how I've grown personally, if he were to cheat now, I would not even think about the sex. I would not even want to know about it. My instant reaction would be, do you love her? Do you have feelings for her?

Yeah, which I think is actually a fair question. I mean, again, there's a whole... Or him, whatever the question is.

Yeah a fair question i mean again there's a whole or him whatever yeah him her there's a whole uh range of differences of course when it comes to the world of of open relationships you know we've got polyamorous relationships all that sort of thing but we're not in a polyamorous relationship nor do we want to be so with that in mind there's only one reason that i'd do it and that is there's an emotional connection that's too deep for me not to respect our boundaries now i'm throwing myself in the deep end here saying that i've you know using myself as reference and i also you know see see just actually said that she was referring to her husband or partner she wasn't referring to me i was just trying to give an example yeah i know but just i'm just being very clear oh yeah because i don't want i don't want to cop any hate mail that's interesting though don't you think i mean it's a you know so different i guess and maybe that's some of the reasons why people that that aren't in the that aren't that are monogamous maybe do feel a bit threatened by our reality of our relationship yeah because it is strong and you know there are certain differences between it I have a question for you though recently you because I travel a lot for work you have said to me um you know we caught up with the rock in the Philippines he's in Tokyo.

But if I were to go back to the Philippines and he happened to be there on business travel, you felt that I could go off and sleep with him so long as you knew about it. Well, I mean, and you went back to Japan, which was what prompted the conversation because he's in Japan and you were going back there. You couldn't tee up a meet in the end, which was fine. I mean, you were looking more to catch up and say hello. So the point is that you're open for me to spend some sexual time with this guy. And obviously go out for drinks and stuff. Don't get me wrong.

My question to you is if you found out that he and I slept in the same bed and cuddled, how would you feel that i don't think i'd have a well i don't think i'd have a problem with that because sleeping in the same bed and cuddling doesn't necessarily mean that there's any form of i mean we we love lots of people in our lives right i love my parents i love you i love my niece and nephews but that's we're different styles of love. There are different styles of love, right? Yep. Which is what I believe the basis is for the polyamorous relationships is that there's different styles of love.

So that's fine. That means you can love more than one person in different ways. But that said, I don't see the cuddling and that sort of thing as an extension of relationship into love. I mean, for example, when the belays were here, you fell asleep on the bed and we were cuddling and just generally draped on each other. You're there though. Yeah, but I mean, why is there a difference? So for me, there is. Yeah, I know there is. I was just about to say, the reason I bring this up is because for me sharing, I don't know how to say this. Passion versus. No, sharing intimacy. Intimacy.

And vulnerability, which is really strange because I've just let somebody insert themselves inside me. Which is about as intimate and probably vulnerable as you could become. But spending the night spooning with another person, man or woman, makes me feel like I'm delving into the realm of cheating almost. Yeah, see, I understand where you're coming from and obviously we've had this discussion previously because that's how we got to our rules and boundaries. But for me, I just don't see it as that. I really don't. You don't see it as much of an intimate act as I do? No, not at all. Not at all.

I mean, for me, in fact, I would say that somebody making breakfast in the morning would be more of an intimate act than the sleeping. Really? Like if a man got up and made me an omelette? My fucking thing. You would be pretty upset. My fucking thing. Wow. I'd be more upset if you ate the omelette and then said it was good because let's be honest. Wait a second. His omelette is so much better than yours. Oh, fuck it. See, now we're into an omelette cuckold scenario. Oh, his tasty, tasty omelette. No omelette cuckold. No omelette cock-ole. Do you know you put chives on top? And cheese. Yeah.

So for me, the intimacy in our relationship is the things that we do for each other that nobody else can do. Other people sleep beside you. But there are things that I like to think I do for you that nobody else can do either the way I do them or make you as happy as I hope you are when I do them for you. That's true because something – I mean, this is quite simplistic, but we will talk about the fact that you do make me omelets for breakfast. That's actually a real thing. Yeah. I did it for – I've done it for – I also did it for the – Belays. The belays while they were here. So you're right.

I guess that to us, like that's a part of our relationship. Yeah. And a consistent part as well, I would say. Like it's not a sporadic thing. You do it often. Yeah. Sometimes, you know, I even find a rotten egg. Those are the real special times. Yeah, they're the special omelets. So, that's your thing? Yeah. You think something that – It's not necessarily that. I mean, I've just plucked something out of the air. No, I get it. But something that you deem to be only a thing between us.

And the thing that makes this really interesting is, for me anyway, is that I never know what they are until you break them, until you do the wrong thing. Oh, I see what you're saying. Now, a perfect example of this is me coming in another woman's mouth. Do you remember your reaction to that? Yeah. Because it was something that was yours. Well, we hadn't discussed it. I didn't really know. I felt either way about it. Exactly. But then it happened and I was like, shit, that's a part of you. That's pinched a nerve. That's part of your body fluids entering another person. It's pinched a nerve.

We need to work through this. But that's something to keep in mind, right, is that even with boundaries and rules, you can never discuss everything that you need to. Something will happen eventually that is outside of your rules and boundaries. Oh, hells yeah. You'd be like 30 saying, let's join the lifestyle. Let's talk about everything. You turn 90 and you're like, well. Well, we didn't really make it to the lifestyle. We finally discussed every single possible situation that could ever take place. Yeah, and now aliens have arrived. So we have a whole new thing.

I thought you were going to go with zombies. You normally like. Yeah, I do like zombies. You do. Yeah, you like vampires, though, which is just as weird, let's be honest. Well, lame. Yeah, no, you're right. Lame. Any other epiphanies before you move on? No, I think that's it. So should we move to stage three. So our third part to our podcast tonight is I'm going to turn this four Xs. It's triple X plus one. There is a lot of swearing in here, people. Actually, in fact, I just want to call out these guys. Yeah.

So we posted a photo tonight up on, or I did, up on Twitter of us and our recording, you know, our microphone and whatnot. I just had a message from D and M, who are based in Australia. I'm not going to say which state. D and M. Because that will narrow it down too much because there's so few people in Australia. You say a state, there's like six people there. We haven't spoken to them, but we've been talking to these guys on Kik for quite a few months. They're great. We really enjoy talking to them. But I just received this Kik message. Go. And this is in capitals.

By the way, BTW, WTF, what the fuck? On the script on the last Twitter posting, never seen so many C-bombs. Raise yourself. It's about to get get messy it's about to get messy so um keep in mind here people we're throwing this out this is a special broadcast this is yeah so disclaimer disclaimer yeah if you do not want to hear swearing it then you shouldn't be listening to our fucking podcast cussing or whatever they'reing? Cussing, cursing. No, we don't need to convert everything to American. Okay.

If you do not want to hear us talking smack – Because we're not going to convert this to American. No. This is in Australian. Tune out now and thanks for listening. Yeah. Love you, guys. If you want to continue to listen to some scripts that Dee has written – I put this together. You did. Lovingly. Lovingly. And? For the Atoms. It is on the back of a recent podcast that Mr. and Mrs. Atom did about Aussie slang. Absolutely. Now, if you haven't listened to us earlier on, go and visit these guys. Great podcast. It's called By the By. Yep, on Twitter. Just search that shit.

I mean, we could spend a month going through all the ways to contact people. I'm just going to mention the Twitter. So, on the Twitter, it's at ByTheByPodcast. That's B-Y-T-H-E-B-I. See? See? I mean, we're 45 minutes gone. I don't... They've had more of our podcasts than we have right now. I think your timelines are pretty screwed up right now. So Dee wrote this for them, but for your pleasure and joy. Mainly because, I mean, just precursor, mainly because these guys weren't sure how to use some of these in a sentence. We are unpracticed at this point, so there may be some...

Now, is this going in like severe Aussie, like OTT slang? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I've got to really, like, sheila this shit up. Oh, no, you're a man. Oh. Wow. Yeah. All right. You're the only person I've got to play this out. I don't have another man here. So clearly this is practiced. Yeah. Yeah, we've been practicing this all day it's gonna be epic all day or month oh my god all right okay okay so introducing our introduction to aussie slang hey can't Hey, cunt, fancy seeing you here out on the pull, you Uncle Merv. What do you reckon? Want to head to the cross for a blue movie?

Cunt, I figured you'd be looking for a slap at a root. Yeah, cunt, better than a wank. Bugger, spilt me UDL. You'd be right, cunt. Let me tell you about my fucking weekend, cunt. Me missus and I were watching a blue movie with the Sprogs. It was enough for me to crack a fat, but the missus has got a case as a grilled cheese sanger, so I figured, fuck it, I'm going to go get me some gash. So, you head to the polywaffle for an axe wound or what? Nah, cunt. Short and funs. So I headed out to find me a gobby. Even brought a frangers, ready to double target with Dankarub for any skank.

I did manage a pash and a wristy in the car park. She's going to have some pash rash tomorrow, though. She would have been a dead root, though, I reckon. She had a fucking map of tassie on her. Got to treat that shit like parsley. Just push it to the side and keep on growling. Oh, that's fucking awesome, cunt. Was she in the nutty? Nah, got to grope the fun bags, though. Found her in the piss of spewing, so I figured she's up for it. What are you going to tell the missus? She loves it, man. That's how she got the grilled cheese with swingers.

lucky can't fucking a can't all right i'm off gotta take the sprogs the fucking footy tomorrow have a good one so our fondest hearts go out there sorry um that was a lot of c-bombs as our friends just said so um if you hung in there thanks and please do not judge us well no you can judge me i wrote this judge away well judgy mc judge face yeah well yeah hashtag judging yes so that's us for this evening. That is us. Nothing else to add. Thank you for listening. Deepest apologies for listening. Drop us an email, cnd at swingingdownunder.com.

We've been, you know, starting to get a little lackluster on our emails lately. What's going on, peeps? Yeah. People hate us or what? Maybe it's because we haven't done a podcast for like six weeks. Yeah, I probably think that's a good point. And they hate us. They'll hate you. They'll fucking hate me after this. Because I'm super funny. You are super funny. But otherwise, thanks very much for listening. As always, this is C. And this is Dee. And this is Swinging Down Under. We'll see you next time.