Swinging Lifestyle + Hotwife Lifestyle Podcast - Wanderlust Swingers Podcast
We review our full week at Hedonism Swingers Resort in Jamiaca.
In this episode we're going to talk about our time on site and what we got upto in the week we spent at Hedonism Resort. We will also share some rather interesting lessons learned.
If you want to listen to a full review of Hedonism Swingers Resort Jamaica, head over to episode 158 for a breakdown of the facilities, resort, food and more.
Links
Casual Swinger Week at Hedonism Resort
Jerk Chicken from The Best In The West
Fireman Lobster Pit Negril
Ivans Restaurant at Catch A Falling Star
Cate’s new TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@wanderlustswingers
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers Podcast with Aussie hosts, Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has.
We hope you enjoy, now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome back to the Wanderlust Swingers. This is episode 158 and we're going to be talking about our week at Hedonism. We went to Jamaica for seven nights, so if you want to listen to our full review of Hedonism as a kind of resort destination, head over and check out the last episode. And if you think about heading to Jamaica, do consider going with our friends at Casual Swinger Podcast. But this episode is all about our week on site, what went on and our adventures. But, Daryl, are you ready for the cultural tidbit? Yes.
The last one I did for Jamaica was a little bit of a Debbie Downer. Yes, it was. So this one, I mean, I think this is probably going to be one of those, like everybody knows this, but I figured I'd mention it anyway. So since 2015, Gunja has been decriminalised, and while smoking weed in public is still illegal and punishable with a fine of Jamaican $500, you may have up to two ounces of personal use without it getting on your criminal record. Whoa. There you go. That's also a Debbie Downer. Well, not really because like it's decriminalized and stuff.
You can still smoke it for personal use, it's not public. Yeah, but Potts considered a downer. Oh. I think. I don't remember. Yeah. Well, anyway. I think it's a downer. Yeah, uppers and downers. They have Hedo Weedo on site, which we did frequent. Well, frequent's probably a bit of a fucking stretch. We went there once. Yes. Frequent is obviously higher frequency, I would imagine, than once. Cash only, which was actually a little bit irritating, but, you know. Not really a surprise.
surprise not really a surprise given it's decriminalized likely means that they can't use banks it's not yeah that's true yeah likely banks don't accept money from decriminalized activities look at you one-upping my cultural tidbit with oh i don't know that to be true that could totally not be a fact yeah why not i mean it's because, fuck it, why not? I mean, it's... Because we're podcasters, so everything we say is gospel and... Fuck it, absolutely. Correct and accurate and knowledgeable and... Except when it isn't. Except when we're lying. Which is, you know... You'll have to guess. Yeah.
So, hey, I'm going to do this disclaimer again because, quite frankly, I know there's a lot of misinformation out there, but to clear up any uneducated assumptions, know when it has sponsored this event, our travel, or a travel or visit to hedonism the only people who sponsored this event were the delightful folks at our credit card company right shall we go and get into the episode well we didn't use our credit card though yeah we did oh yeah oh yeah yeah but we yes we used our credit card yeah but that's just because it's easier yeah yes it's not that we hocked shit up on a credit card to be able to go there that's i do hock up quite a few things yeah i know but one of them being a charter flight but then we just paid them yeah it's just you know our friends at visa have a broader span of of places we can pay or mastercard i don't really give a fuck who you use by the way anyway maestro point point is uh we paid, we paid for the event.
Nobody else did. Good. I'm trying to think of who else is out there. Diners. Oh, God. That's old person, isn't it? No, it isn't. No? Still used. It depends on which country you're in. Still fucking hobbling along on like two fingers clawing its way out of the dust. Exceedingly well. Really? Yes. Holler at me if you've got a Diners Club card. I want to hear about it. Day one is obviously the arrival day. Most people come in, they're pretty knackered. Like that's just how kind of travel works. Yeah, because you've travelled the four hours to get there from the continental US.
So you're totally fucked. For your cheap $150. Totally, totally worn out. Look, I don't want to say, you know, wah, wah, cry for me. If you're one of those people that are so close, casual swing and looking at you but uh travel day is really not a big thing i guess from some locations but for us i mean a travel day is generally consisting of anywhere from 18 to 25 26 hours so we arrived we arrived hella early and i have to say this day was actually probably my favorite day it's up there that's one of my favorite days the The first day. Okay.
For me, I mean, obviously we had some bumpy bits in terms of the checking in and knowing where I can go and listen to that in the last episode. But the energy for me on this day, I think, was electric. And this is generally what happens. People come in on their first day and they just go hard because everyone's super excited to see each other, right? So it's like electric. It's really energetic. It's great.
Sounds's great sounds electric sounds electric but the pool party so it was probably the most fun we had them pool party all week as well and i'll tell you a few things that i mean you're speaking for both of us though you can't just you can't just fucking throw it out there for for me as well the most fun i had in a pool all week and we'll see if it kind of you're matching we'll see what this we'll fucking see okay i'll give you some highlights because we've obviously got a lot to cover and i don't want to kind of do this step-by-step thing but one of my favorite things was passing mrs honeyspoon around like a birthday gift past the parcel yeah there wasn't anything to unwrap because she was already naked yeah she was naked so there wasn't anything to unwrap but that was fun she's she's only a wee little thing and she can't stand up in the pool without it just she could be she can but she just looks like a head bobbing on the water yeah and then the minute anyone tries to move for a slight wave constantly complaining about her calves hurting you know so we were holding her and i had her around my waist and stuff like that and it was just a lot of fun and kind of i don't know just kind of cheeky and stuff like that but she did start rubbing her pussy on my leg at one point in time uh so that was definite highlight for me and also the three way kiss between what i'm going to call mr jeans honeyspoon and myself was a real turn on and a real delight and i will say he went very hard on this day and was dancing you know naked dick flying by the pool and we had this amazing what i thought was amazing three-way kiss spoke to him the next day at coffee at breakfast over coffee and he doesn't remember a fucking thing so uh i guess you know lesson learned is that sometimes something really uh sexy to you maybe just you know doesn't even hit the radar of mr jeans yeah well i mean which i'll continue to give him shit about yeah of course i mean that's how it should be what about you for that first kind of pool party day fucking hell i mean you're stretching my memory here bobe i think i remember being it, of course.
I mean, that's how it should be. What about you for that first kind of pool party day? Fucking hell. I mean, you're stretching my memory here, Bob. I think I remember being at Hedo. I remember there was some weird shit going on at the side of the pool. Like you said, Mr. Jeans, I was exposed to his penis doing circle work, which was, I wouldn't say exciting, but certainly intriguing. I mean, it had a good circle on it. It did have a good circle. I'm not surprised he didn't remember anything. Yeah. Didn't he bring a bottle of whiskey in on the bus?
He drank a few shots of whiskey coming in on the bus, yes. So he was already, you know, at least a couple of sheets to the wind before arrival. Not to say, I've got to say, he holds his boots quite well.
So it's not that he that he was sloppy drunk he was just a little bit boozed but i think everybody was at the end of that day it was a pretty big day again the typical overshoot on day one yeah where everybody gets a little carried away it was the typical overshoot so dinner that night we actually went to flame restaurant which was situated up near the pool one of my highlights from that was Mrs. Honeyspoon crawling across the table seductively towards Mickey. Flame Restaurant is now, like that's now reopened down on the beach.
For those of you who don't know, it was up on the, up beside the pool deck. The leader deck, I don't know. Yeah, the, well, maybe it's the poop deck. Yeah, so it was up there for a while just because they were renovating Flame on the beach. So it was still called that restaurant, but it wasn't in that restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, so Mrs. Sunny's been kind of crawling seductively across the table towards Mickey was definitely a highlight. I'm glad it was just her because if it was me, the table would have fucking collapsed. Yeah, they didn't seem that sturdy. They're fucking plastic tables, man.
It would have ended well if I decided to crawl across the table or poorly no well okay for most of the people there because i'd have fallen down hurt myself everyone would be like thank fuck he's out of the picture now we can concentrate on fuck trying to fuck kate yeah but they were i want to say rickety but certainly they weren't really weight bearing no not weight bearing tables tables and yeah, I think if you were trying to like get up there and it was two people, like that would have been a bad situation.
So Mickey stands up and he's getting ready to do a speech and I'm actually standing next to Mr.
Our Sexy Social and I turn to him and I'm like, oh, watch this, he's going to do the I Love You Man speech, you know, because obviously there's 20 of us around, I think roughly, everybody's really lovely and i expect that he's going to get up and do the i love you man i can't believe you guys flew all the way to jamaica like let's make this week amazing for everyone i can't believe everyone flew all the way to jamaica yes and uh and you know just kind of do the i love you man speech but instead it was a don't drink the water and walk on your own safety message speech um which i gave mickey shit about obviously so yeah that was definitely another highlight for me.
Okay I mean. One of my lessons learned I have to say for this definitely for Hedo as a general rule but for this night I've got a lesson learned here which I think I don't know what your opinion is. I think we definitely should have played this night and we should have set our intentions to not let the kind of sparkles wear off because I think that there was, like I said before, high energy, interest and we should have done something that we should have collectively, as the people who wanted to play, should have done something about this night. I agree.
In fact, I kind of pushed you to do that on the evening.
I said we should try and we should invite some people who we find interesting either to our room or somewhere else ah that was later because i do have the rejection non-rejection section coming up okay very soon that you can maybe talk about so that was day one went to bed i mean it was pretty late we partied pretty hard that day but went to bed next morning we got off site now one of the things that we try to do when we go to anything like this is get off site right fair well yeah i mean you travel to somewhere else in the world there's no real use staying on on site the whole time because if you do you you don't get to experience any of the local culture yeah which is part of the reason that certainly i travel i know you you're much more okay with with drinking sitting in the sun and rinsing and repeating for the next day but for me i need more than that um but yeah so this day we went off site went to rick's which is one of the really famous spots i guess in this particular area of negril where people can do the cliff dive it's about 50 bucks $50, US dollars.
Yep. Yep. And he would stay basically four hours for you. Yeah, something like that, yeah. Yep. So we did actually, however, stop at the Best in the West and we got some jerk chicken on the drive back. We did. Because obviously you're going to Jamaica.
I mean, we also, like we were at the, I mean, you've kind of breezed over the entire time we were at the the place well how do you feel about ricks we had two drinks we had some pretty shit ordinary lunch and then you did a cliff dive and we left yeah okay so that's that's it i mean you just you said nothing about us like it didn't exist it's fucking hot you did a cliff dive we overpaid for it all and then we left yeah sweet i mean it, hang on. I mean, let's just explain that, though. It is a tourist place, right? I mean, it's expected that you're going to overpay. Yeah.
And it's kind of expected that food's not going to be spectacular because that's how tourist places work. General price of things, though, I was, for a developing country, I was pretty surprised at the prices.
Like, okay, take the jerk chicken, which, by the way, we bought ourselves some jerk chicken and the driver jerk chicken and this is side of the road jerk chicken this is not like stopping in at a you know really fine dining restaurant or anything this is jerk chicken from the side of the road cooked in a barrel as it should be um by the way I did find the link so if you are going to Jamaica I'll put the link below in the show notes but that was 25 us dollars yes for two portions two portions of two fucking chickens it wasn't two whole chickens sorry i got a half so sorry it was two chickens sorry a chicken a chicken right yeah right and some beans and rice and it was 25 us dollars for a side of the road food which i don't know it's for me if i'm comparing it to like places around asia pacific and i'm thinking developing countries around asiaPacific, like side-of-the-road food, five, ten bucks at max.
Yeah, but when was the last time you bought a whole fucking chicken at the side of the road? I don't normally, but... So now I'll just round this up to full chicken from... Because normally you get a leg or a couple of wings. So you think that price is fair and reasonable? I think it's okay. Yeah, okay. I'm being a cheapskate then.
I just don't understand how jamaicans are affording that sort of that sort of not they're going to the other places that aren't fucking globally renowned as opposed to get jerk chicken probably true so we had dinner on site that night at the italian restaurant we went to the club we did go to the club now the nightclub the thing about again about hedo not i guess receiving the tour and not kind of getting any kind of schedule or anything we had no idea of when things were open or things were closed or whatever and I actually didn't even know the place had a club so I think at one point during dinner maybe somebody was like oh the nightclub opens tonight let's all go down to the nightclub and I was like one they've got a nightclub and what the nightclub was great because it was air-conditioned yes now you were dancing up a storm because it was air-conditioned yeah I didn't dance any other time the whole time we were there because the rest of the time we were not in air-conditioning.
I think you were on a dance floor with maybe Mrs. Honeyspoon or something. I was there with her, but there was others. I mean, I was dancing with everyone.
Yeah, there was a – we had a – I mean, the whole group that we were there with were all dancing together and there were other people as well who'd dance in and dance out and, yeah, it was just a standard dance floor of people you know doing dancey shit what do you think of the club because i don't actually think it was pretty good yeah yeah i thought it was really nice actually the i like that there's sort of two areas one so there's an area where the dance floor itself is which is where the music is is pumping fairly heavily but then you could walk into where the bar is and it's it's not separate but there's only a there's a doorway effective a wide doorway in between the two that gives it a bit of distance yeah and just a little noise suppression so you can actually chat quite easily around yeah the little alcove things like little cubby houses kind of which were full of air conditioning that's what you remember from that now i was actually hanging hanging back i was hanging back chatting um i my back was actually really really sore and i was on like pain medication like you wouldn't believe like you were on day one yeah which is the reason that we didn't play yeah at least that's the reason you offered actually was the reason why yes i'm remembering now i know i've never been in so much which is why i said to you that because i we because we said that night and even the night we're talking about now, the second night, we had kind of gone with the intent of potentially playing but you again were in a lot of pain so we didn't.
I had an alarm set on my phone for the distance between taking medication so I could make sure that I'm getting it exactly as I could actually take it. It's almost like hunching over like a dog fucking a tennis ball on a plane for eight hours is not good for you. Now, I was in the bar chatting. I was actually chatting to Em, and it was really fucking hard to concentrate because he had this massive Jack Sparrow hat on. Do you remember that? And I was like, how the fuck did you pack it? But yeah, massive Jack Sparrow hat because it was sailor night. So that was impressive. Yeah.
Because most people with their sailor outfits, they were wearing tiny little know tiny little sailor outfits that you can i feel like a jack sparrow hat though you know can be crumpled and uncrumpled and then still be very jackie sparrow-esque that's true it's probably if you're thinking about going as like a full-on piratey sailor i feel like him could pull off the jack sparrow walk as well too. Yeah, I know that I'm thinking about it. We should challenge him to that the next time we see him. Jack Sparrow walk. Yeah, I think he could do it totally. Hey, fun thing. I'll be the judge of that.
So we happened to be there with the Not Your Averages Mr. and Mrs., and they sent in some audio. Did they? Yeah, about their time on site. So I'm going to play their audio now and then we'll come back and we'll chat about what they said. Hey, Kate, it's the Not Your Averages coming live from the hot tub, trying to be cool like the honey spoons, maybe get some water splashing in the background. We've got some things to talk about with Edo. The most surprising thing, what do you think?
How quickly it felt completely normal to be naked and how weird it felt to be clothed after you were used to being naked yeah like if you'd get ready to go out or something and you're hanging out getting ready to to leave and yeah everybody's naked but you you feel awkward and out of place so weird i felt really comfortable but i also had this constant nagging worry that i'd walk out of my room to go refill our water bottles and the staff member would run up to me and be like oh no not on thursdays thursdays is when we have people come in to fix things and you know i'm always just assuming i'm going to get in trouble but yeah it is what it is um What about the least fun or good thing?
I can tell you what mine was. That we didn't find out those amazing playrooms had showers until the last night. Because that particular thing was a real barrier to play. Because I loved the nude pool. Loved hanging out at the nude pool. Didn't exactly feel comfortable playing.
Because I don't know about about you but i like a little bit of a freshen up before um any kind of activities so that i just feel comfortable about myself and uh um yes definitely a freshen up after the pool yeah you know just splash a little water on my face but not out of that pool so uh yeah once we discovered there were showers uh that was a big game changer too bad it came on the last night and that kind of runs us into the sexiest thing uh i really think when we went to the playroom with a group and got to just be part of that very amazing environment with people that we really like, that was awesome.
That was the sexiest thing. Yeah, the playroom was really sexy. And being able to go with people that you know around you makes it even better. A particular moment for me is when we were taking a break because everybody got too warm. in the very cold, what we thought was hot tub, but the water was very cold. So you were just standing there at the edge of the tub with one leg up. I can picture the pose right now in the blue light. It's frozen in my mind. It was incredibly hot. So yeah, I think that kind of sums it it up, man.
If the Hedo people would just give a tour of the facilities and walk you around and show you important details like, hey, here's a shower right next to the playroom. So when you get out of the pool where you're feeling just a little bit sticky. Yeah, I'd be nice to have known that. Because honestly, at like 2 a.m. when you get out of the pool after drinking for many, many hours, when you go back to your room for a shower, if you're like us, you have trouble going anywhere else after 2. Anything you'd like to add? No, it's very true.
That that was the key more important than the location is the people absolutely traveling people with the very best people that includes you so how do you feel about the freshen up there daryl what is this freshen up that we're talking about i've never heard of such a thing what do you think generally about the the mr and mrs not your averages kind of experience there well it sounds like they had fun yeah i mean that's that's a good thing mirrors us a little bit in terms of what they were trying to say but yeah i think so i think we we missed out on a number of play sessions though for other reasons like for example your spine for some reason the only time in history in history that you've ever had any back pain other than you know standard every day sort of i've done something stupid and now i have back pain yeah yeah the first time you've ever had back pain and you certainly you know there were i think three days in the three days of the seven you were in too much pain really to even contemplate playing yeah and then the fourth day you left it too late it was like 4 a.m and you went i've decided that i'm not at my best and i'll probably fall asleep while somebody else is fucking me so that which is exactly what the not your average has just said by the time you get back to the room to freshen up and shower off and everything and then you're going to go play yeah but that wasn't the problem if you're already doing that at two three four in the morning like it just adds to it as opposed to just being like, let's go play now.
But you were already, I mean, yeah, okay. Yeah, knackered. They actually sent me another file, which I haven't even listened to yet, because something sparked their memory, so I'm going to go ahead and play that and see what else they have to say. I was listening to the Hot Wife Diaries and heard something that reminded me of what I found to be an incredibly hot moment in Jamaica, and quite memorable. So I'm just hanging out in the pool, minding my own business, and a certain Miss Milford goes to get drinks for a lot of us. And when she gets back, she's carrying like six drinks.
And you know how you kind of have to squat down to set down the drinks all at once so you don't drop them. And I was eye level and couldn't look away. And she looked up and saw that I was mesmerized. And I forget exactly what she said. She was like, oh, well, something about that must be quite a fucking view or something. I can't remember what it was. It was great, though. And so we both got a laugh out of it.
But it's a moment in a view that i've certainly thought about since thanks kate see ya pervert yes i concur i mean okay let's talk about the whole being nude in public thing it's just let's talk about how daryl's part of this group as well to be fair i'm the one who asked them to send the audio in so come on gotcha yeah just remember me people oh cheers for daryl yeah most people can't forget me because they find me endearing or obnoxious one of the two so yeah that's true sometimes a little bit of column a little bit but being naked in public and being naked at a lifestyle resort this comes up in confidence so often and as does one of the things of like can you look at other people when they're nude how do you feel about looking at people when you're at a resort like this and everybody's nude like is there is there etiquette on staring is there etiquette on looking at their junk like what's your general thoughts on i think very quickly it passes but certainly i i have a i do have a distinct memory of of uh i think four of the 10 couples we were with on the first day we went down to look at the nude pool and we went we walked down their clothes turned around and walked back and they were walking down to the nude pool nude and i distinctly remember seeing them all and thinking fucking hell i don't want to have to take my clothes off around these cunts yeah because they're all gorgeous yeah but i mean like and we found this out through the event as well every single one of those couples and individuals also has their body confident confidence issues as well they just happen to embrace it a little earlier than i did yeah so yeah it was i think it's one of those things that fades fairly quickly and it doesn't even the whole looking at people's bits as long as it's not avert and inappropriate yeah well what defines that what's the difference between you know the person who you're looking at right whatever their thoughts on the matter yes it's true it's really hard to gauge then because you could look at somebody's junk and they're just like cool woo junk and then you look at else's junk and they're like, hey, please stop looking at my junk.
So how do you... And you can accidentally brush against somebody's junk in the pool and somebody will find that horrific. Yeah. And I mean, accidental is by definition accidental, but it still doesn't mean it's appropriate. Yeah, exactly. But it's still accidental. Yeah. And then you get other people who, I mean, it's just another thing floating past them in the pool. Yeah. It's not a concern. So, yeah, it's a difficult tightrope to walk without asking everybody in the pool for consent every time you walk past them. Yeah, that's true. And in some cases, it's a very tight space.
You know, when the pool's full, it's actually very difficult, especially, I mean, I think as a woman woman the top half is going to to make its way around the pool you know you're going to rub breasts again against a whole lot of people as a guy you end up with your penis rubbing floating rubbing against a lot of people as well yeah not that you try to achieve that i mean certainly unless you're a fucking pervert you don't try to achieve that so yeah think it's – but the whole body confidence thing is just – it's standard. I think we've run over that so many times in our podcast now.
Everybody thinks they're fucking ugly. Yeah. No matter who they are, everyone has a problem when they look in the mirror. Yeah. Don't get me wrong.
If you look in the mirror every day and you think there's something wrong for the entirety of your life, then that's probably a good reason to seek some – professional help some help but if you look occasionally and find yourself and say hey i'm actually feeling good about how i look today pretty probably normal yeah uh quote unquote normal like the rest of us so the next day we had we spent a lot of our time on this next day as a sixsome with the honey spoons and the injudas and i really felt privileged to be able to spend some downtime with them all but what i will remark on one of my takeaways from this day is that injuda was the third person to comment that they enjoyed the quote-unquote relaxed kate and that it was just so nice to hang out naked act foolish tell jokes laugh and be weirdos etc because the times that they enjoyed the quote unquote relaxed Kate and that it was just so nice to hang out naked, act foolish, tell jokes, laugh and be weirdos, et cetera, because the times that they have spent with me have maybe been at my events or I've been working, you know, things like that.
So it was great to spend some just personal time with the six of us kind of being a bit silly, running around the event, kind of drinking, dancing and being foolish and making jokes. But I did find it funny that he was, they were the third person to comment about this version of Relax Kate. Yeah, well, not Relax Kate is a bit of a bitch. Not Relax Kate is a bitch, eh? I come to my events where I'm not Relax Kate and you can witness me being a bitch. Yes. Oh, man. We had dinner last, that night at the buffet.
I actually sat next to Em and Jay from Carolina and we chatted about travel and water and the ocean and everything. And they were really, really interesting. They have dogs. They love travel. And I just really enjoyed also that time to kind of chat with them. So that was kind of my, that was my third day. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with her for the rest of the week from there on actually because she became unwell after that. I think it was after that night or during that night maybe. I think it might have been during that night, yeah.
Which was unfortunate because we really enjoyed hanging out with them. Yeah, they're both lovely. But, yeah, that was really unfortunate. I guess it's one of those things where as much as you can be a Boy Scout about these things and plan and travel and everything else, like sometimes when you get to an event you can eat yourself. Shit just fucking happens. Stuff just happens. And so she was, for the rest of the trip, basically, she'd come out and say hello but then go back to the room unwell.
She was not well for the rest of it pretty much until the last day, which I think is when she was fairly well recovered, but it was the last fucking day. Yeah, it was the last day. So, you know, everyone's, well, not everyone, but certainly different people are going home at different stages of the day. Yeah. The next day we actually went offside again. We went offside with the honey spoons and we were visiting with – she just happened to have one of her oldest friends from Canada going to Rick's Cafe. So the Not Your Ever just came along.
I had to borrow a bikini from Mallory because it's a nude resort. And you did the cliff dive again twice. Yeah. I really should try to post that to social media actually. I actually have that video somewhere. Should try to post that. So you do the cliff dive again twice. Yeah. I really should try to post that to social media, actually. I actually have that video somewhere. I should try to post that. So you did the cliff dive twice and I guess tried to turn Mrs. Honey Spoon's vanilla friend? I didn't. You were joking about it. You were really taking the piss out of her.
Yeah, I was having a lot of fun saying that we were going to fuck her, yeah. Which she was not really a fan of. But I didn't even broach that in conversation while we were there. No. No. But I did tell her the entire morning that I was going to try and fuck her, yes. By the way, I've never, ever thought that that's something that's of interest to me. No. It just feels dangerous, way too dangerous. So, yeah, but it was a lot of fun fucking with her. Yeah, yeah. It was the first time we actually kind of spent some time in the pool at Rick's as well.
So we were just all, the eight of us kind of just hung out, kind of spending time in the pool there at Rick's. And you did the cliff dive as well, which was quite fun for you. You did it another two times. So, you know, that was not bad again, getting off site. So it's like for us, it's kind of spending a day on site fully and then jumping off site for a little bit. Couldn't convince anyone else to do the cliff dive. No, everybody else was like, yeah, Daryl, off you go, have some fun. Yeah, go and die. It's only like 20 feet. I don't know. I have no... 10 metres. Okay. Roughly.
So it's not so high. What about the local pastries that we stopped with a van and all the boys got out of the car and went and got the pastries. Yeah, the pastries were quite good. They were kind of, well, I mean, they were, for the Australians listening, which there still are some, they're kind of like pasties, but with a lot less meat in them. Yeah, they were good. I really enjoyed them. And there was chicken, beef. No idea. Chicken, beef, something other, like a different type of chicken. That's what I remember. What I remember is that, so we all got one in the van on the way back.
Did you buy the driver one again? I hope so. No, he didn't want one. He didn't want one. No. So on the way back to Hedo, we're sitting in the back of this van, just all chatty, having a great time, you know, eating these local Jamaica pasties. And because they're so goddamn flaky, I was so paranoid about putting flakes, flake-like pastry kind of stuff all through the driver's car because I didn't want him to get pissed off. Yeah, yet I didn't give a fuck. Yeah, nobody else really got it. I don't think anybody else was like, meh, but. I mean, it's pastry. It's not like world ending. Yeah.
Now, this was Neon Night and I'm going to talk about my, what kind of happened with my Neon Night in a second, but you shot your shot and you shot your shot, you shoot your shot, you you had a shot of a shot I have no fucking idea what you're talking about you broached potential play with a couple and you received some what I'm classifying as polite rejection and I think sometimes putting out a firm no is definitely better than maybe all the time putting out a firm no is definitely better than a maybe but you approached a couple and it was response was kind of wishy-washy and it was like, maybe I have to talk to my partner.
I'm not sure how, you know. And I think what that was was a polite rejection as opposed to a firm out no. We had a polite rejection, but then only to figure out in the next few days that that wasn't the case. I mean, that's okay. Now, that night we all – so it was Neon Night, which generally speaking, I think Neon for most people is up there as one of the best nights. What I will say about the whole costume thing for Hedo, we really did not organise costumes this time. No, we were – well, certainly I was way too fucking busy before this event to even contemplate it.
Both of us were, and I think we saw this as really a chance for not needing to be too stressful, right?
A bit of decompression is what we were kind of aiming for yes hence the charter flight etc to like make it the most smooth journey that we possibly could so we did not put a lot of thought and planning into our costumes now i wore i actually happened to have some like really bright pink lingerie and some bright colored shoes and things that would work for the theme what I will say is that definitely this night was a great night we were outside dancing so this night they didn't have the entertainment under that roof area they had it kind of out and there was a little bit of a breeze and stuff like that and I was dancing with you and we hung out and we watched some of the performances and because of the fact that it was like okay hot and everything else and I was just wearing lingerie that for me was like a more comfortable enjoyable night the other ones were like crazy crazy yeah agreed they were all hot unfortunately it was very it's very difficult given that I hadn't planned anything it was difficult for me to come up with things on the night as well so it was my my costumes were always lackluster at best which is actually something that i think was shit i don't i didn't like that feeling so that's something we need to not repeat as well yeah so i guess the lesson learned there is that we went in with the intention of being a bit relaxed and it just made it more fucking difficult and it made it a little bit more uncomfortable and difficult for us what do you remember Hyspoon and i dancing around in the buffet area no no i don't this was funny we were being absolute weirdos dancing around in our lingerie and everything else in the buffet because we had buffet for dinner and like walking around and like trying to dirty flirt with each other about like you know french dressing and this sort of funny stuff.
It was just hilarious. It was such a funny kind of – it just for me is like – It feels like it might have been one of those you had to be there scenarios. I think – but that's what I'm saying. It was like that we're both a little bit weird and we kind of were fully embracing the weirdness that night. Didn't care who was watching. And, yeah, that was really delightful.
We also tried to pick up Mallory as well at the bar by pretending that we were oh so lonely and we really needed a hard dick to fix us all got it and i had that work out for you she was like please get away from me now thank you guys are fucking weird you're a bit fucking weird do you want to talk about the orgy invitation and how that all came about i mean the original conversation was was uh led by somebody giving a signal to you don't remember the signal Thank you.
all came about I mean the original conversation was was led by somebody giving a signal to you don't remember the signal there was a signal but then there was actually the signal was a joke there was a full-on conversation about this is this is who's invited they know that I'm going to invite you they know that there's you know just because you're going it's not consent like that sort of conversation is what I'm talking about I don't for starters i don't think i had any i don't think i was deeply involved in that conversation that's what you've just issued there is basically what was discussed i mean it's like we know the we you know you know who these are the people who are coming if you're interested you can come just because you're coming doesn't mean you're part of an orgy it means that you're in a room with with a group of people.
Yeah. Yeah, that was it. I mean, that was the length of the conversation, really. Now, we did not go because this was where I was like, yeah, yeah, it sounds great. I think it was 3.34 in the morning. It sounds maybe even not that late. It wasn't that late. 2.30 maybe. 2.30. Get back to the room to shower and everything else. And at this point, I was like, now, later found out that they did do the circle of intentions in terms of at the event, like who's comfortable, wants to do X, Y, Z.
But what I found out was that there was really no room in that room anyway, so it's probably lucky and a good thing we didn't actually go because I had a sense space was quite limited. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't know that it was a good thing we didn't go, but we didn't go. Yeah. It would have been a good thing if we went for different reasons, but yeah. Now, the next day you had one of your usual days by yourself. I had a part of a day by myself, yeah. So just to decompress again, have a relax.
Actually, it was more in this case, I think, not so much getting away from people, but more I needed to get away from the alcohol for a while just not drink and the food i don't think you didn't eat no i didn't really i mean the food the food is is good don't get me wrong it's good but and so is the drinks the drinks are good as well the issue is it's for all for all of this for me is the same no matter which resort i'm at whether it's lifestyle or not, if it's an all-inclusive, I just run out of things that I'm excited about having, drinks or food. And it's the same here.
So this is not unusual. It's not isolated to just lifestyle events. It's everything. Every time we go to a resort, it's the same problem. So that day, yeah, I just didn't, I mean, also it'd been, it's overeating. It's massive indulgence, right? It's overeating, over drinking, late nights, sexy stories, sexy play. It's all indulgent, everything. And it's nice to just not do that.
It's the equivalent of not training for a marathon because that's what it is right we don't eat or drink like that or or stay up until all hours of the morning like that any other time other than we're at these events and they're a marathon and then you do it the next day and the next day and the next day so so it's the equivalent of turning up to a marathon without any training actually it's the of turning up to a marathon without wearing any fucking shoes that's what it's the equivalent of in a three-piece suit because you've never yeah it's just you've never lived like you will live at a resort well you could but you'd only do it for a year and then your fucking kidneys and liver would fail and then you'd die so this was the day that as a group a bunch of us went off site and had lunch at the lobster do down the road so he comes you didn't i wasn't there you went there he comes along the beach the lobster comes along the beach to with his lobsters to kind of sell his wares and then you can go walk down the beach so you have to leave hedonism go through sandals and walk down the beach to the lobster do but i.
I do feel sorry for the lobster he brings with him. Me too. I kind of feel bad about it. Poor fucking lobster. Yeah. So it's kind of nice, again, to get off resort, head down, eat something different. It was a bunch of small, like not everybody came, just a bunch of us, but I have some audio. Okay. You want to hear it? As long as it's not the lobster squeal as it gets thrown into the pot. No, that would be horrible. They do that. They do. They do. Oh, bitch. It's like, man.
no that would be horrible okay they do that they do so the guy's called the it's the fireman lobster pit in the grill and he walks up and down the beach and if you engage with him he has this kind of spiel yes although i do think that he is um his mind is somewhat otherwise engaged during his entire walk because i feel i feel like there's a there's either a mountain of uh i think he's getting through at least the two ounces a day that you referred to early that are decriminalized or or he's very drunk, one of the two. No, he's not. Fuck yeah. He's just a bit of a character but again.
No, I think he's living his best life. I just don't think it's going to be a long one. Maybe he is fucking living his best life. I ain't got no judgment. No, no, I'm not casting shade. I just think it's not fucking – I don't think he's got a long life if he continues the way he's going.
You can't do that do that man although he did quote that lobsters are a clear are a cure-all like eating lobster is good for everything yeah like a lobster a day keeps the death away except for the lobsters yeah so that's the the fireman lobster if you guys want to check it out i'll put it i'll put the show is it fireman or fire pit fireman lobster pit ne. Fireman, lobster pit, Negril. So, yeah. That night was fetish night. Now, we actually, you came out of the room. We had a bit of dinner. You got extremely sick and went back to the room. Yes.
That was like, it was like your little like, okay, I'm going to like, you know, it's time to party and head. And it's like, yeah. What I will say about this, so it was a fetish night. I wore my kind of black see-through dress and I had my tiny little flogger with me. And this was where I also had the I'm in a four reference from, guess who? Mrs. Hunnyspoon. You mean when you're flogging, when you were flogging her, she said you're at a four. I mean, context, sweetheart. No, no context. Guessing, guessing. Yeah. Okay.
So we had that reference on the episode we did about our time in uh montreal and she gave you the ah you're at about a four kind of i'm at about a four reference and i actually had one of those uh pre that trip to canada in in jamaica with my little my little flogger i mean it'd be hard to be anything above a four with that i know it's very small it's very small and very soft's not really. It's very small and very soft. It's not a flogger. It's a fucking toy. It's a little, yeah. It's actually a toy. It came in a toy kit. It's a little toy, yeah. But still quite good. Yeah. I mean, yes, yes.
Did I make that question enough? I don't know. Next day, we went to breakfast, had a really, really long breakfast and decided to head down and be away from the nude pool, but we went into the ocean and there's a little kind of net around section around the ocean. I'm going to keep the fucking sharks out because there's sharks. Anywhere there's ocean people, there's sharks. I saw these little fish and then I saw my own reflection at one point in time and absolutely fucking freaked out. Do you remember? Yes. You thought it was a shark. I'm such a dog.
You missed that so that that was the day they cleared the beach as well because the day before there was still wash up coming from various weather issues yeah there was a because there was a whole tornado not tornado fucking hurricane in florida no um sorry weather issues now that was a really fun day. So I like that you are hanging out and you can hear the music, but you're not kind of in the nude pool kind of, again, with everybody rubbing up on you. Still nude though. Still nude. So this is the night we went to the restaurant offside.
So we all got on a big bus, the whole group got on a big bus and went to Ivan's Restaurant and Bar, which is a – the hotel itself is called Catch a Falling Star. And we went there and we took a few photos on sunset and we just kind of went off site as a crew and that was a really, really nice – And also the best food I ate on the entire trip. I was about to say. The fucking goat curry there was like fuck a dude awesome. Yeah. That goat curry was the best that we've ever had.
So if you guys get the chance to go to this place, definitely, there because the food was perfect be aware goats are the boniest animals in the world which means no matter what goat thing you eat it always has bones yeah yeah but that was really good and then we all went back and we went to the piano bar and this is where mr and mrs honeyspoon i guess became the star of the evening the guy was looking around for different people in the crowd and the piano player and you could you could clearly see that he was trying to find people that didn't seem too nervous maybe and would be i guess you've got to read the room and figure out who's going to be interested in do this but he calls up mr and mrs honeyspoon he was like hey you is that your partner like yes come up here dance on the piano now he gets mrs honeyspoon up first and she starts dancing all sexy and he he's like, no, Mr.
Honeyspoon, you've got to come up as well. Yeah. And then from there proceeded to get them to, over the course of a song or maybe two. Maybe two, yeah. Got them, proceeded to get them to change their clothing over. Yeah. From one to the other. No, they actually didn't strip each other off. I think they stripped themselves off and switched clothes. Well, that was what was funny because I remember that it started with Mrs. Honeyspoon first of like stripping her off. And I think both Mr. Honeyspoon and everybody else in the crowd just assumed that was where it was going to go. It was.
They had to strip each other off because then the piano man was like, hey, no, now you've got to then do Mr. Honeyspoon. And he was such a champion because I know this is not his usual, this is not where he usually likes to be. And I knew like with the attention on him, but he was such a good sport and I could just, as soon as the piano guy was like, no, now you've got to do that, I could feel across the room that he was like, no. But he did it. But it was so funny.
So after they then got stripped off, it was then put to each other other's clothes on so she started wearing his outfit and then he had on the tiniest little black dress and g-string number which they both pulled off the g-strings didn't didn't stay on because no he broke it and then i had to fix it they looked good though good sports would you have done that yes you would have yeah yeah that wouldn't problem. Yeah. It is a lot though. Like if you go to these things and they kind of put people on the spot. So I think there's another thing to take into account here.
He's also judging people on their size and weight so that they don't break the fucking piano in half. Yeah, I guess so. I'm not sure you and I standing on the lid of a piano would be what's best for the piano. What's best for the piano? Well, not breaking in half is what's best for the piano.
and best for the piano well not breaking in half is what's best for the piano and us two honors would definitely throw it out of tune significantly yeah but potentially snap the fucking thing in half yeah yeah so to finish up the next day we went on a catamaran out to the caves and everybody did some snorkeling i get quite seasick so i just take i just took some pills and everything else but i mean the catamaran is a big one some people really like it i'm kind of much to much nurse i don't know what your thoughts are i thought it was great i mean it was nice it was also nice to just again get away get away from the rinse and repeat so it was nice to get out there even though it was similar in many ways you know you're still drinking in the sun and but it was nice to just go and cruise down the coast and have a look at different things we jumped in and did some snorkeling the first location i did yes yeah i didn't at the caves so quite a few people swam into the caves uh which i didn't do only because i was engrossed in conversation at the time yeah so it was uh yeah it was good i mean it was again it was.
It was really nice to get away and just have a bit of a relaxing time. And also it was with a group, with the group that we knew. Yeah, so it was a nice day out for sure. It's good to see the coast as well and see what it looked like from a little further out. From the water, yeah. Yeah. That night was what they call gala night at Hedonism, which I thought- Kate totally misread and gave me also a total misread. I gave you a fucking bum steer in the biggest way. The hugest fucking bum steer. What did you turn up in, Daryl? A fucking suit. And what does gala night mean at Hedo?
It means a gala event of all of the different bands coming together and a big event and also all the foods are all there. So it's like different foods from around the world in one place. So it's actually rock star night? Yes. So everyone's dressed as a rock star and I'm in a fucking three-piece suit. In the Jamaican heat. In the Jamaican heat, which I was not happy about from the moment we left the fucking room.
So you went back to the room fuck yeah i went back immediately because it was fucking steaming inside that suit yeah and and got changed immediately into basically gold short shorts and a fucking i don't something else of yours to try and rock star it up something in a tie i don't know what you were doing but a bit of a mishmash hodgepodge. Well, I didn't have a – I mean, for starters, the only thing we prepared for the entire fucking event was the gala night. Otherwise, why the fuck would I take a suit to a – Swingers Resort. Well, no, to a fucking clothing optional Swingers Resort.
Who's taking suits? It was my full suit. Did you iron it and everything? Yes, Ied it i owned my fucking shirt everything spent fucking 20 30 minutes in the room making sure everything looked all nice and gala only to then get there and realize that i look like a galah rather than the fucking gala anyway that's kind of our week we we left uh we almost didn't get on the plane to canada because hashtag visa they made a visa change like the week, or sorry, the month before we arrived. Yeah. Ta-da. Ta-da. But yeah, we flew in and out. That was good. I enjoyed that. Yeah, that was good. Definitely.
But yeah, that was kind of our weekend hedonism and everything we kind of did. Obviously, not everything, but you got a bullet point. Otherwise, we'd be talking for days. Yeah, like probably seven. Seven days. Because that's how long we were there, right? That's how long we were there. Yeah, so if we gave it everything, it'd be... Yeah, not good. I'm not sure too many people would turn up to listen to seven days of me talking. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I don't like doing it. I'm not surprised. If I can be married to me forever now. You've still got the crickets on there. I still have the crickets.
I feel like that's one of the buttons that you've just got to have. Crickets? Yeah. They actually sound a little bit more like a small group of canaries talking to each other, by the way. Yeah, probably do. Hey, so coming up next, we're going to talk about our trip to Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, our fun at New Year's Eve, which has just happened, and if we get permission, some playtime with our first Dutch couple in their fancy, fancy boudoir. If. If we get permission. Yes. We haven't gotten that yet. We have not. They may tell us to fuck off. They may. Which I wouldn't be surprised.
They'd tell you to fuck off. They would not. Yeah, totally. They'd be like, fuck you, Kate. Yeah. So that was kind of our week. Thanks for sticking around. We know that might have been a little bit boring for you guys to kind of listen to. Fuck. I mean, if that's boring, then, you know, I mean, shit.
mean shit just shit i mean it was a fucking spectacular week with a lot of fun and a lot of sexy times even though you know there was only one sexploration while we were there yeah it was a lot of fun but yeah i mean just don't break your back in the plane on the way there next time yeah and i guess this is this is another one of those things where it's like you meet all these great people, but they're just spread all over the world, right? And then it's just hard to kind of get back together with them again. Yeah. I mean, the only place we're going to do that is either Desire or Hedo, right?
That's really where it's going to happen. And they are, like, I can't speak highly enough of the group of people that we went with. They were fucking awesome. Yeah.
And even, you know, as as a understanding of that we had a chat group before we went and we still have one and it's still now and and you know everyone was still talking about new years on new years so they're obviously not only sexy people they're very good people as well so i'd happily spend time with them and i'd happily have them stay in my house that's another thing too we have open ended um invitations to so many places around the world at the moment because everyone's like yeah if you ever get to carolina like come and you can hang out all we need is the money hang out with our dogs it's just the money we'll show you around yeah the money in the holidays just the money in the in the days off work yeah yeah just that hey credit card company fuck yeah so if if Visa, Maestro, MasterCard, American Express or Diners is wanting to sponsor our fucking travel, absolutely open to that.
If you want to sponsor us to go and have sex with other people, please send an email to email at wanderlosswingers.com. By the way, I'm pretty sure they're all trademarks, so please don't fucking sue us. Please don't. Well, we don't have any money. We spend it all on this fucking holiday, so there you no the guys thanks very much for listening and we'll be back with you guys soon ciao
