Swinging Lifestyle + Hotwife Lifestyle Podcast - Wanderlust Swingers Podcast
Today we're talking all about the Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, a Swingers Club with a twist and a focus on being all things pool, hot tubs and fun.
We start the episode off with a cautionary tale about using butt plugs to simulate double penetration and then move into a full review of Oasis Aqualounge Swingers Club.
Oasis is based in the central area of Toronto city, we rate this club 3.5 black rings out of 5.
As we're getting ready to wrap up, we share some insight into feeling triggered inside a swingers club and what to do when you don't know what to do. We hope you find this insightful and potentially helpful to hear our story.
Links
Oasis AquaLounge Swingers Club
Our interview with The Toronto Unicorn
Cate’s new TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@wanderlustswingers
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers Podcast with Aussie hosts, Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures.
Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swers club and event reviews interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures we try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has we hope you enjoy Now, let's get into the episode. G'day, guys, and welcome to episode 160. Today's episode is all about the Oasis Aqua Lounge, which is a club. Oasis Aqua Lounge. Yeah, it's a club based in Toronto in Canada. Might surprise you a little to understand that it is a water lounged area. Yeah.
So we went there after our trip to Hedonism and we're finally getting around to talking about it. So we're going to talk about the club. We're going to talk about me being a little bit triggered. We're also going to give you guys a cautionary tale about butt plugs. But first, Daryl, cultural tidbit for Toronto. Oh, my God. I am so excited to hear about the Toronto cultural tidbit. Did you just sploosh on your chair a little bit? Absolutely not. Can you pretend you did? Yeah, sploosh. Can you give us a fake orgasm? No. Okay, cool. I don't fake orgasms for no one.
So Toronto, as of 1991, it is legal for women to be topless in Ontario. After a college student was fined for taking her shirt off on a hot day and challenged with a $75 ticket, it was determined that being shirtless is not an inherently sexual act and therefore does not fall under indecent exposure. Whoa, didn't see anyone topless though. 1991, they've chosen to free the nipple in Ontario. I didn't see anyone freeing their nipple. It was also a little bit cold while we're there, to be fair. Yeah, but I mean, nipples are at their happiest in cold weather.
You can tell that by the way they stand to attention yeah how do you feel about that though the fact that the country or that's that area is gone you know what nipples aren't inherently sexual yeah i mean i feel like saying duh okay is that is that what i should be saying yeah exactly feel like nipples aren't inherently sexual Portionary tale about butt plugs So I feel like nipples aren't inherently sexual. Portionary tale about butt plugs.
So before we get into our little story about butt plugs and us fucking recently with one, I put a Twitter poll up and I said, Curious minds want to know, have you ever simulated double penetration by using a butt plug and vaginal penetration? Yeah, I've put a poll up a couple of times as well as quietly. And here is the responses. 79.8%, so I'm just going to call that 80%. 80% of people said yes, they have. Does that surprise you? Yes. Me too. What would you think it was going to be? I would have thought it would be much less than that. What would you have estimated? Like 20. 20?
Wow, I was going like 40, but yeah.
Yeah, but yeah yeah but that's double 20 yeah it is i didn't even have to kick a shoe off we had a bunch of people write in the comments but one stood out for me because because of our cautionary tale so here we go this is from nc fun couple 7478 you see now that's definitely a twitter handle that is a twitter handle and they said we actually use a dildo instead of a plug there is too much movement and this could cause a plug to disappear unless it has a very large base but that large base then can also get in the way of things sounds like a thing feel like they could have given the cautionary tale to us a lot fucking earlier since you were the fucker instead of the fucky yeah do you want to give everybody an understanding of us fucking recently and uh i mean i'm sure it was absolutely delightful and you had a jolly good time but i had a whale of a time can you tell everybody what happened we were having sex with uh with a with a but you had a butt plug in and the butt plug when you were coming close to orgasm started to uh push out uh it would have pushed all the way out had I not have like touched it.
But then when I touched it and you came, you sucked it in basically to the point where I went, whoa, and then reached down and stuck my thumbnail under it to pull it back out. Lightning reflexes. Yeah. I mean, well, I was actually just thinking of the bill. Yeah.
There wouldn't have been a been a bill because you know we live in a country with free health care but it still would have been hard to explain yeah well not really actually an x-ray would have explained it really fucking quickly we actually have a lot of butt plugs in the shipping container that's still based in singapore long story but in that shipping container we actually have some silicon-based butt plugs. I normally choose to use them over stainless steel ones because there's more flexibility, there's more, you know, it kind of moves around.
I think the stainless steel one, it doesn't move around as much or there's less flexibility there. Anyway, so Daryl's fucking me. The butt plug, I come. And I guess muscles and things contract. Contractions and, you know, weird girl shit going on. Right. So, all I hear is something to the effect of, like, holy fuck or shit or something like that. Yeah, that's pretty much it. That was you going into panic mode. And what went through my mind was this is how I'm going to spend my day now in hospital, getting a butt plug removed. Yeah, or sitting downstairs on the toilet squeezing.
So my cautionary tale is that even though a butt plug has a base. Yeah. Sometimes. Yep. Especially those pretty jeweled stainless steel ones I find don't have as big of a base. Whereas some of the other plastic ones, not plastic ones, some of the other silicon ones with, like, the larger base. For example, my vibrating one has quite a large base across it. Yeah, but it's meant to be worn for a much longer period. That's the thing with this stainless steel version. It's not exactly a long-period expectation for wearing. Yeah, exactly. So my cautionary tale, lessons learned here.
I don't even think it's a lesson learned. I'm still going fuck with about plug-in yeah but but maybe a different maybe a different one maybe a different we need to look for some more yeah because we don't because the 40 you have is not enough now between the things that have been given to you and the things that we've bought ourselves and the things you bought for me which i never fucking use there is a mountain of of of stuffs that we never use. What's your point?
Where likely, in the vein of Daryl culling shit constantly to make sure we don't end up like slumlords, there's likely going to be some go-in-the-bin at some point in the not-too-distant future. Yeah, well, you know, we'll see. Because there's, well, either that or donated to our friends who are happy enough to use, you know, freshly clean toys because there's a lot of fucking money there. There is. Yeah. Call 1-800-Kate sends you one of her used sex toys. Well, we could just fucking sell them because there'd be dudes out there everywhere wanting to use sex toys. That's what I'm saying.
Call 1-800-I-can-clean them or I can't. It's up to you guys. Shall we talk about Oasis Aqua Lounge? I mean, if we must. Right, so we go to Toronto. We stay in the middle of the city in quite a lush hotel, I might say. Like, we don't tend to overly splurge in hotels. Normally when we're travelling, we might have one nice hotel fare.
Out of a two- or three-week period three week period yes yeah and this was kind of our splurge hotel but unbeknownst to me that also upgraded us yeah we but it was a pretty nice hotel to start it was a nice hotel fucking jacked it up and then they jacked it up yeah and then i was like man but it was really really close so the club itself is only a short drive from the middle of toronto is kind of where i'm where i'm getting to so it's quite convenient you know some clubs around the world are in industrial areas because they have to be licensing wise they're a bit further out than the city and the fact that this one is quite close to toronto it was a couple minutes drive cheap in an uber yeah it was in the right spot yeah correct so if you guys want to check the club out i will obviously put their website in in the show notes today.
But a bit about them, they're open seven days a week, by the way. And single men are permitted five days out of the seven. That's a lot of semen time. That's a lot of days, right? I don't think I've actually seen a club around the world that operates seven days a week. That's pretty rare. Normally they would have maybe Thursday through Sunday or Thursday through Monday. I don't know. That's rare.
So they're're open seven days a week single men are permitted five days out of the seven we went on a sunday entry for the couples is 100 canadian dollars so that's about 74 us dollars 100 canadian rubles 100 canadian rubles uh 100 canadian maple leaves yep yeah yeah i mean that'll do so we arrive to the club we see the right? He's standing at the front. He lets you into kind of a waiting area. Yep. To be talked to by the receptionist before you make the payment and then allowed in the main area of the clubs. There's a little area. The receptionist provides you with access to the club.
Obviously, you have to pay. You do the whole thing. There's a coat rack there, thank God, because, you know, Canada is a little bit cold. Give you a quick introduction to the club. She touches on consent a little bit. I'm actually just concerned with the amount of emphasis you put on all the weird things going in, whether you listen to that at all. A little bit. You sure? Because it sounded like it was really concerning. Well, I did miss a part later that I'll talk about. Okay. She talked about how the club is inclusive. Yes. We're going to get to that in a little second.
So after the entrance, there is a wall with coloured wristbands. Do you remember that? Yes, absolutely. Red, yellow and green, if I remember. Oh, I think it was like six too. There was like six or more. Oh, there was blue as well. Yeah, there was more than one. There was more than one. What are the purpose of the wristbands? The wristbands are to define what you're into. So if you're there just to hang out.
And so I think from memory, it went from I'm here to swim and stay and get warm and enjoy the night or we're here, depending on single or couple of course, and all the way through and the colours change to, you know, where we might be interested, we're interested to meet people and then where DTF is the top end one, which is kind of standard or kind of standard in terms of the top end one so that's what was there do what do you how do you feel about these wristbands and the second part to that is did you see anybody wearing them uh people were wearing them yes I think the wristbands if you're going to be serious about the wristbands you've got to kind of issue them at the at the front right but they're silicon wristbands I think they're too expensive for the job given that people could only be there for one night right so then i would i would say that the that that a waterproof paper ones would be a better option because people are going to people are going to throw them away immediately as soon as they get home they're not going to leave them behind that's true because i put one on and i did throw it away.
Yeah. Well, of course you did because nobody, nobody stockpiles silicon wristbands with, you know, swinging names written all over them. It's not a thing. Well, maybe it is a thing. You could probably use them as a cock ring if your cock was big enough, but or a hair tie or whatever. Unfortunately, my cock's not big enough. Well, fortunately for me, thank you very much. Yeah. Fortunately for everyone. So you think they're a good idea. How many people did you think you saw were wearing them? Probably 40%. Okay.
Yeah, so a majority of which were single men in terms of the people who were wearing them. And surprisingly, this was a bit of a shock to me, not all of the single men who were wearing them had a DTF one on, which was surprising. Well, it could be a good way to stand out. Like if you had one that said, yes, I'll have sex, because I think there was one that was like, look, I'm a social swinger, meaning that I want a connection before I fuck, rather than just I'm here to fuck. I'm here to fuck.
Maybe, as a single guy, that actually might be quite a standout because people are like, oh, he may want to have sex, but he's not just like, who to fuck. He's not a fuck guy. You know what I mean? I know what you mean, but I wish that I never hear that. Who the fuck? Yeah, that needs to never happen again. So as I mentioned, when we checked in, the receptionist told us that the club is inclusive. Here comes story time. So we'd just come off the back of being at hedonism for a week. It comes dumb ass time, not story time. Here comes the story. So we've been at hedonism for a week.
Add on top of that the fact that the clubs here in the Netherlands are all inclusive, meaning that when you pay your entrance fee, food and drinks are completely included in the price. Daryl hears the club is inclusive because that's all she said. She didn't really go further on with it. And he's like, great, babe, why don't you line up at the bar? I'm going to go put all of our crap in the locker room on level two. I'll take the coats. I'll take the bag. I'll take all the stuff. You line up, get yourself a drink. What happened, Daryl? Well, you lined up to get a drink.
And then I went upstairs and dropped everything off into the place. And then when I came back, you said, you've got to pay for the drinks. And your response was, no, it's inclusive.'s inclusive yeah well i said it was fucking inclusive that was yeah that's how it should be well what did an inclusive mean in fact it means the most obvious thing ever for any club of this type is that it's fucking inclusive of any sexual orientation bloody blah blah well duh-blah-blah. Well, duh. Yeah. I mean, duh. Yeah. No, I'm just saying duh, right?
So you had to go back upstairs, get the wallet, come back down. Yeah, that whole fucking one story that I had to walk up, it was diabolical. It was pretty funny, though, because at the beginning when you said, I'll go out and you get the drink, and I said, no, we need a wallet, and your response was, no, it's inclusive. Yeah. And I was like, I don't think that's what she meant, but cool. Yeah, I mean, nobody was fucking arguing with me, though, were they? I did say I don't think that's what she meant. And you were like, no. You didn't argue. I didn't argue. Yeah, that's not what she meant.
That's not an argument. That's just you saying it's not what she meant. Yeah. Well, I mean, what did she mean, Kate? Perhaps next time tell me that. What she meant was the club is inclusive in nature and we accept everybody. Yeah. So don't be a dick. Fucking duh. Don't be a dick and also pay for your drinks, you cheap motherfucker. I'm not a cheap motherfucker. I'm just talking about the fact that it's – I mean, do you really need to say that out loud?
Well, you shouldn't need to, but it is one of, I guess, the Oasis Aqua Lounge really do make efforts to talk about diversity and trans and everything like that. So they actually go out of their way to talk about those things in their marketing. And so I think that's why part of the entrance is we're an inclusive club. So what you're saying is my brain is too inclusive. Your brain is too inclusive, yeah. Got it. A little bit about Oasis Aqua Lounge. It is three levels. As the name alludes to, it is very much based on water-bound activities. So three levels.
That doesn't mean pee play for the way. Well, maybe it does. It is very inclusive. Fucking inclusive. So you do you, no kink shaming here.
The ground floor is the entrance, the bar, the dance floor floor the hot tub area and access to the pool area yeah i'm gonna say the pool's kind of below ground though right generally speaking it's a below ground pool i mean that's what they're called yeah so cool so there's actually a below ground do you feel you need to make up for being right because you were so wrong with the inclusive drink now yes cool and i'm there so second floor is the lockers the bathrooms the play spaces and the bdsm room now this is where we spotted something really really different interesting what are your thoughts yeah it was interesting so in the bdsm room actually in all of the rooms it wasn't just the bdsm room by the way but in all of the rooms they have a little card that's on the beds and or play areas whatever those are right because bdsm room doesn't necessarily mean a bed and they were hanging if there's so if it was a cross for example they had them hanging on string as well yeah that's true they went just on flat surfaces yeah they were so they have a clean side and a dirty side.
So one side says clean, one side says dirty. So if you've used the area rather than them having to guess whether it's been cleaned or whether it hasn't been cleaned, they can do that. They can just see it. You just turn it over and biff-baff-boff, you've got yourself a clean or dirty space that's going to get cleaned. Well, it's good for the staff because, as you said, they know, oh, I've got to go in and clean that piece of equipment. Equally good for the patrons because they're like, oh, that's not clean. I'm going to go somewhere else. Yeah. Have we seen that before? No. I don't recall it.
I think this is the first time I've seen something like that. I feel like it makes life a lot easier for the cleaning staff. Makes life easier for everybody. Yeah, but mostly the cleaning staff. But mostly the staff, yeah. Because otherwise you really don't know. You end up just cleaning shit that's already fucking clean unless it is literal shit and then you know because somebody shat on the bed. Pretty obvious. Yeah, but because we're inclusive you're allowed to do that. That's not true. You're not allowed to do that. Yeah, don't do that.
You know on the dishwashers sometimes they've got those like little magnets where it's like turn it clean turn it upside down it's unclean like obviously that's something in daily life that a lot of people have but for some reason it hasn't translated to a swingers club and i think it's brilliant do you think that they also clean the swinger cards cards every time the little clean unclean cards every time they're cleaning well they are plastic to say yes. Yeah, me too. Because that would make sense. How unclean or clean is the card that goes on top?
Because it would be effing stupid to not do that. How do they know that they've got to clean that card? That's like, you know, you should always clean the door handle on your toilet. True. Door handles are pretty grubby. Yeah. So that was the second floor. The top floor had more play areas. It had a little stage-slash-seminar room.
seminar room yeah it had a group room it had a room with a car in it the bonnet of the boot so the boot of a car trunk the trunk of a car right it had that little area helping out where i can very inclusive of language here you're inclusive of language yep i know you're taking the piss but just for for the audience listening whilst he's taking the piss he's also not taking the piss what in other words like you you're not making a joke out of being oh no i think i actually think so the reason that my brain didn't compute that is because i think it's how it all should be yeah i think i think whatever whatever you identify as whatever you wish to do that's with within both legal and ethical should be.
Fill your boots. Yeah, you should be able to do it. Yeah. Unless, of course, the club defines that as their area not being a place you can do that. You know, like you have to wear shoes and shirts to go into, I don't know, supermarkets. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's – as long as it's within the boundaries of what the club identifies as most appropriate for their facility, then I think it should be fill your boots. Go nuts. So like I said, while you're taking the piss out of inclusive, you – Oh, yeah, and I'll continue to do that for the rest of the thing. But I mean – Just disclaimer.
Yeah, if you feel that I'm not inclusive, please send an email to Kate. I am. And you'll notice there was no but. There was no but. Yeah, because everything that you say before a but is a lie. Yeah, I'm not this but. Well, everything before is a lie. Yeah, true, true. You don't need to justify.
So there was also another small bar area with some seating that wasn't being used at the time as well, which I thought a great little space and i'm curious if the club gets busier whether they open that other little bar area on level three yes they said it was closed on that night on purpose they told us that in the briefing they did my level of attention there yeah they told us in the briefing that it was uh that that it was closed tonight because they didn't expect to the the requirement to actually uh need the extra bartender because they run the bar up there as well.
Yeah, which is great as well because then you've got that ability, I think, if you're up on level three, not to have to go back down to the ground level. And, you know, I'm also curious whether they lease out the top level to events because that in itself would just be perfect. You know, you've got everything up there for like an event to just take over the top level. That would be really curious. Why wouldn't you just take over the whole place?
So, I mean, coming back to the sort of the descriptor, you've given a bit of a rundown on where things are, but it's not very big, except the outdoor area. The outdoor area is quite big, but the inside area is not very big. Yeah. Well, because it is so focused, I think, on that pool area. It operates year-round, by the way. Yeah, the pool is fucking toasty warm. What would you say, how many people could fit in this club in your mind before it becomes ridiculous? Before it becomes ridiculous? Yeah. I would say probably around 200. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Actually, even at 200, it may be ridiculous, but I think 200 would be all right. And who goes there in terms of the clientele i would say very again very diverse in in terms of sexuality single male single female so that there's trans people there yeah it was it was very open i think it's because they are really forward with that inclusivity and you see that even in the staff members right so the clientele is the same And I think that there's a lot of diversity there as well in that space.
So I think they're obviously pushing that for a reason and they're getting the people in that are going to back that. Because they're humans. What would you say the average age was? I'm going about 45. No, fuck no. Yeah. So, okay. Do you think there was an average age of say, let's say average age of couples, average age of single men? What are your thoughts? Is there a difference between the two? Actually, I don't think there was. I think the average age of couples and single guys was about the same. Which was? Late 30s. Late 30s. Average. Yep. Yeah, I mean, you're saying 40s. That's no way.
I mean, you're talking top end there. I don't think there was hardly anyone in their 40s. Really? Yeah. You know, when there's a big group in their 20s, what it does is brings the average down. Brings the average down. Yeah. What I will say is that I think in terms of size of people there, I think there was probably more diverse range of sizing.
And what I mean from that is body shape and size than perhaps what we see in some of the clubs here in the netherlands yeah yeah i mean yes and also more diverse because the netherlands is what it is but it's inherently very white there is a lot of white people here yeah that's not on purpose it's just it's fucking it's the white part of europe it's like you know so yeah that's not really a surprise it's not really terribly diverse yeah in clubs because it's not diverse in the street yeah so i would say that i i probably saw more depending on how you identify again if you're identifying as a bbw i probably saw more bbws at this club than i think i've seen at other clubs that we've been to lately.
I mean, it's not something we haven't seen ever before, but I definitely think that body shape there, they also had a larger range of women, including BBWs, going to the club. And I'm curious whether or not that's just because we were there at a single male night because a lot of those women were also single. So I don't know whether, you know, maybe that skews that and so more women come out for those kind of hot wife or just, you know, single ladies going into the club for single men. I don't know whether that may be skewing some of this. Could be.
But definitely for me, that's kind of the people that I saw there. Yeah, and that's a fair statement. Okay, cool. I would agree with that. Yay. I don't agree with anything else you've said to this point. You're wrong, Kate. So when we got there, a little bit about what we did on the night. So we kind of run through the club as it sits. What we did on the night, we grabbed a drink, obviously, as I said before. We had to pay for said drink. We started a bar tab because that's what you do when you go into a club that doesn't. That isn't inclusive. That isn't inclusive. That isn't all inclusive.
We took on ourselves on a little tour around the club to see what's what, because we've never been there before. And we headed up to the third floor. The third floor. We headed up to the third floor. We ran into Fatima who actually runs the social media aspect of the club, which is quite cool. Yeah. She was lovely to chat to. She disappeared later because I think she was also – Oh, no. So she disappeared because we got talking to the other guys there as well and she sort of – she did probably what most owners, operators, employees do.
They kind of fade out when they see things are going well with someone else because, you know, they're there to chat initially and, yeah, we just happened to run into her, which was pretty cool. They had no idea we were going to be there, right? That was – We mentioned we might be there, but we hadn't clarified because we didn't know how tired we were going to be off the back of Hedo. We were fucking tired. Yeah, we were tired. We were fucking tired. We left there like early. And she was also not supposed to be there because she was supposed to be doing something else.
Yeah, she was doing something else. Anyway. So we ran into her and it was really lovely. We also ran into a lady called the Toronto Unicorn. Yes. So we chatted to her for a bit. We ended up going outside and we were interviewed. She recognised us from our voices, from Australia, from our accent. So we're talking to Fatima and the Toronto Unicorn turned around and she said something to the effect of like, wait a second. Wait a second. I don't mean to be weird, but you guys, Kate Daryl. Yes. And I think, is that the first time we've ever been recognized ever? I think so.
It's the first time we've ever been identified. I think so. I think so. I think she took our virginity. Our identification virginity. I think she might have. She might have. Because normally if we're, you know, if we're going to somewhere or somebody recognizes us, it's because they know we're going to be there. Sounds like something I think she'd be okay with as well.
yeah so there you go toronto unicorn took our virginity she also invited us out to be interviewed on her youtube channels yeah so we we wanted out as in outside because obviously you can't film inside how is that for you being recognized and then being asked to come outside and film i thought it it was – I mean, it was fine. I'm not going to say it was – it was strange given that, you know, I don't normally have people identify me as I'm walking down the fucking street or in a club, so it was a bit weird in that regard, but it was nice.
She's on the ball though, so she does like little short YouTube videos and when she was filming us, she had a little light on her camera and we went outside and it was quite compact. Oh, she definitely did her shit together. She did her shit together, but then she said, oh, you know, this will be live in like two days and I remember looking at her and thinking, fucking what? Because normally, if we do YouTube, it takes me like a week. I mean, you fuck about though.
Anyway, if you want to go and check out that video out the front of Oasis Aqua Lounge, where we're getting interviewed by the Toronto Unicorn, I'll put'll put the link in the show notes yep so we head back inside and we start chatting to her friend who's identified as r on the youtube channel so i'm just because she's featured in a lot of the toronto unicorn um youtube channel so i'm just going to call her r as well yeah and i think what was i think the the line was i'm i'm she's r was new to all of this when they first met or something. That's right.
And she's kind of working her way through everything. Yeah. And that's part of the conversation piece that they have for the YouTube channel as well. You might want to give her a shout out because she actually recently, R that is, recently wrote on one of our podcasts on YouTube that she loves the sound of your voice. She actually wrote on there and she said, I can't wait to hear the talk about Oasis. And by the way, I love Daryl's voice or something to the effect of like that. So there you go. Well, there you go, Ars. So it was lovely to meet you. That's the best voice I can do.
That's the best voice you can do. Yeah, it's the best voice I've got. Say something slutty to her off the top of your head. Can you do that? Do you like the taste of the tip of my cock? Rightio, there you go. Did that work? That's okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay, we're on the spot now. Go. I got nothing. No, come here. Come on. Come on, let's go. No. I'm going to sit here in silence until you give me a slutty. I said something really awesome, but we had to remove it from the episode because it was so explicit. I lie. So we're talking to Arthur a little bit, and as you said, she's kind of new.
No, She's not very new anymore. Not very new, but like. As in new to the lifestyle. She's excited and interested and wants to learn. Yeah, yeah. But it has been learning a lot. That's, you know, part of what she's been doing. Which was pretty cool, I think. Anyway. So she was talking to us about travel and clubs and threesomes. And then she started talking to you a lot about hot wifing. Do you remember that conversation? I do. Not a whole lot of detail. It is a while ago now, but yes, I do. Yeah, so I remember she was talking to us about what is a hot wife? Daryl, why do you like it?
Yeah, she was asking me about what it does for me, what I'm into, why I'm into it. Yeah, it was... When somebody asks you those kinds of questions and pays more, I would say, more attention to you than me, and I don't mean that in a negative way, I just mean that she was really interested in, you know, the psychology from your perspective, does that make you feel nice when somebody is so interested in the Daryl, why, how, etc.? I mean, it feels, it always feels pretty nice to have people interested in what you're talking about. That's definitely the case.
So, yeah, I mean, I hadn't really thought about it like that, honestly. But yes, it's it's something that always makes me feel feel good about everyone likes to feel like they can help people or you know offer a point of view that maybe they don't have or whatever it is yeah when we're having this conversation what I will say is that I felt extremely overdressed. I was standing there in a towel. Yeah, everyone was fucking naked. Toronto was in a towel. And then across from us, there was people fucking in the orgy beds. Behind us, there's a group fucking and using a fuck machine.
In the next room where the car room was, is a girl with a single guy in there called the Jackhammer fucking there. And we're standing near the balcony.
You're in i'm in a dress yes having a conversation and i remember looking around and thinking this is a little bit odd for us yeah i think there was a few there's a few reasons there the first one is they were the they were the only going going out clothes we had from for the trip right because they'd kind of been set up for a different event yeah but yeah it was uh it was a little strange but it was fucking hot i was hot yeah not not in the you know in the good way in the it's just fucking warm in here yeah it's not really a surprise it's a fucking aqua lounge we'd also just gotten there and did the tour had a drink and at this point in time we're talking to people so it's not like the evening had progressed and it was like whatever time and we still just hadn't dressed down.
So it was just particularly strange. I don't know how I would have felt if there was maybe a mandatory dress down in that club. Yes. I mean, I don't know what to say.
So after this we go downstairs, we get another drink, and we decide we're going to head into the pool because, fuck, it's a heated pool, which was dubious about by the way i was bloody dubious about this whole heated pool because it was quite cold it wasn't like right now in canada where there's like you know eight foot of snow and people are in minus 40 degree temperatures but it was pretty cold when we were there yes it was fucking cold did you think the pool was going to be actually as hot as it oh you mean as nice and toasty warm yeah no fuck no i mean it's freezing outside i don't know what it is but i'm always when people say they've got a heated anything i'm always like that's because you're used to heated pools in australia which are dubiously heated at best right because i mean who needs a fucking heated pool to that level in australia so no one here's a question just thinking about that whole dress down thing before we get into the pool how many people this probably goes to why i felt out of place wearing clothes.
What percentage of people do you think were in clothing? Oh, actually clothed versus wearing a towel, et cetera. Not many, 10%. Yeah. At best. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, at best. Because normally when you go into a swingers club, you've got the mingle area and the lounge area and the bar area.
And I would would say 80 of people in those spaces are probably clothed or in lingerie maybe but here i would say it was like 80 to 90 percent of people were either naked or in a towel and then there was a few people in clothing and lingerie so it was kind of the it flipped it on its head because that's the purpose of this place it's a it's an aqua lounge you know so i think that was just something new and different and i hadn't really thought about that yep anyway so the pool was surprisingly warm again and we chat to a few people there's a few couples there that we're chatting to fucking surprise that they had their their pool sorted you know like it's not at all it's not a surprise the name is aqua lounge they're in fucking canada they have their pool shit they're open 365 days a year seven days a week yeah yeah they have their pool sorted yeah no doubt yeah what was the pool like for you in terms of looking around seeing people talking naked bodies dicks floating boobs floating like coming off the back of hedonism too where the pool there quite frankly gets out of control and then going into this pool, which is more like chill and there's some music playing in the background and people are talking and laughing and having a good time like it was less there were just less people in the pool for starters uh it was a pool that was it was a pool meant for mingling whereas i think the pool at hito is made for partying is made for party yeah so what was your thoughts?
Did you think it was sexy, relaxing? Did you enjoy it? It was warm. I mean, that's the best I can put to it. There weren't a lot of people in there, and you'll get to it in a minute, I'm sure, but most of the people that were in there were single guys. It just wasn't a lot of people, so it's hard to do anything other than that, I suppose.
There were a few couples that were in the pool at that point in time because we sort of were introducing ourselves at the beginning they left and then it was kind of us and there was a moment there where there was i think about five ish guys standing around us is that accurate is that yeah five single guys yeah yeah and there was a couple that a couple of single men that were actually engaging with us and talking to us. There was one guy who was, I would call him unduly intoxicated. He was pretty drunk. I think he had a crack in his head from falling over.
He wasn't unduly intoxicated and he didn't have the crack in his head until after we got out of the pool because he hit his head on the pool. So you don't think he was too drunk at that point? He wasn't unduly intoxicated, which means he is potentially a danger to himself or other people. Right. So, no, I would say he was intoxicated. Yes, he was definitely intoxicated. Possibly a little too drunk to be in that place at that time. But he wasn't unduly intoxicated. He wasn't dangerous. He wasn't, you know, angry, fighting. He wasn't any of those things. Okay. Yeah, that's fair.
We decided to get to get out of the pool now we were talking to a single guy there a canadian young single guy and we're talking to him for a little bit and we go we're like okay we're gonna get a drink and then we're gonna go upstairs to level three now he said can i come with you and i'm gonna talk a little bit about this soon because i was very confused i i didn't realize what that meant yeah but he said you know hey we're like we're gonna go upstairs we're gonna get a drink we're gonna go upstairs really i think we were i was i don't know about you but i was actively shaking off four of the five guys because i didn't really want them to carry on conversation with us yeah and he said you know hey can can i come with you and i was like yeah of course course, it's fine.
I'll tell you about what that meant later. And then we went upstairs, we chatted to two girls upstairs who were dancing and having a really good time a bit before we kind of left the club. They were very full of energy. Fuck, they were full of energy. Yeah, they were bopping around everywhere, super full of energy. My energy bar was really depleted. Yeah, we were toward the end of our energy level because of, well, just being away for so long. And then, yeah, we hadn't really even managed to decompress properly. Yeah. Yeah.
And then you've got these two people who are, like, buzzing around, talking at a million miles an hour, dancing and having a good time. And I was like, whoa, you're at a 10 and I'm at a 2. Yep. They were full on. Yeah. Not full on negative way either, by the way. They were really, really enjoying themselves. Now, in terms of cons, I would say for me the small mingle area was less than ideal. But what I really, I understand the fact that the venue itself is comprised of the pool and mingling, not really somewhere that you would go really and talk and dance, right?
Because most of the talking and everything is done in the pool so the small mingle area i'd say is a con for the club but knowing full well that most of the people mingle outside like obviously now most people mingle in the pool yeah that's a bit of a surprise i mean something that's called the aqua lounge it's almost like people would go there to hang out at Exactly. It's crazy. Fucking crazy talk. I think most clubs around the world kind of have their tempo, right?
Like depending on the club, they have a tempo in terms of like the time people start to move to the playrooms, when's dance, when's this and that. Like would you agree that most clubs kind of have a tempo or a vibe? Yeah. And obviously being the first time to this club, a lesson's learned for me was that's the tempo of this club.
club you don't mingle in that area you come in you get a drink you strip off and you go to the pool yes so that was something that was a little bit new what i would say is that the the people that were wearing the clothes and certainly the men that were coming in i was disappointed in their dress and attire yeah i mean they weren't uh yes agreed they were coming in very averag averagely dressed, but that was because they were taking that off to go swim.
Yeah, so I was watching the guys come through the door when we were at the bar area and just like oversized hoodie and joggers and like, you know, scrubby jeans and stuff like that. And initially I was like – Scruffy, you mean? Scruffy. Initially I was like, what the fuck, guys? Like this is a club, best foot forward, you're a single guy.
Yeah, fucking step best foot forward you're a single guy like step it up but again the tempo of the club is well they're going to get in there for five minutes and take those off anyway so in their minds they're like why would I bother the reason you would bother gentlemen first impressions is because people will see you yeah that's the reason you would bother yeah it's fairly simply put the other con I think for me is and you I'm happy to be proved wrong. I did go on the website and have a look for this information. I looked in the frequently asked questions, et cetera.
I don't think they have a cap for the men. Maybe this comes down to the fact that it's an inclusive club. I'm not sure. But what I saw was I don't think the men were capped. And what I mean by that is that normally in lifestyle clubs, if they do allow single men, they may have a ratio of couples and single ladies to single men. Just so the club isn't, you know, 90% single men and then two couples kind of sitting in a corner. For me, it didn't feel like the single men were capped.
And again, I think it might be due to the inclusive nature of the club, but to me, it felt like maybe there was three single men to every couple or single lady. What are your thoughts? Yeah, I would say the same. So it was a high ratio of men, for sure, versus couples or versus others. The big issue there, though, I don't think was the ratio difference, especially later in the night. It was guys that were coming in that I think were looking to finish their night after being out drinking or doing something else, right?
I think there was something to be said for the style of people who were coming in later in the evening as well. That's true because there were a group of three single guys that come in together that have been out drinking.
Yeah, but being fair here as well, it's not – I think it's very important to say that at no point was there any risk to you or me while we were there yeah but there were certainly a lot more single men than we'd been used to in the past correct and that's that's exactly what i was going to say it's not something that we've seen somewhere else so in terms of comfort levels it was just different and you know maybe that's just the way again the tempo of the club there and that's just normal and average and maybe why people might choose to go on the two days that they don't allow single men so yeah well i mean and also the night they allow single men i mean it's you're there to meet single men exactly which is why we actually went there in the first place we actually went there because we were like hey we've let's go fuck a single man we've not done a single man night in a fine single man night in a very long time yeah so that that was So we were like, hey, let's go to the club specifically to find a single male to fuck.
Like that was the entire reason that we were there. Yep, didn't achieve it. Didn't achieve it, actually ended up leaving. So final verdict if we talk about, I'm going to wrap the club up, review up now.
I am going to talk about something that left me quite triggered in a second, but to wrap up the club review, in terms of black rings out of of five initially we were going to give this club a three out of five i've upped it a little bit to a three and a half out of five and that additional half a point it really is just for the hygienic mentality of the club yeah and yep three and a half fun so i'm giving it a three and a half black rings out of five that's my i guess review of the oasis aqua lounge quite quite a good club if you're in Toronto City. Go check it out.
Go check it out, definitely. For sure. Right, now we are going to talk a little bit about something that triggered me on the evening. I don't know. I feel like maybe I should give a disclaimer, a bit of a potential trigger warning here. I'm not too sure. I am going to talk a little bit about sexual assault.
So if you guys want to shut it off now, feel free to do so um it's only a very small piece of the story but just feel like it's the right thing to do to talk to you guys about that so feel free to shut off otherwise uh continue listening so on the for reference i do have a history of sexual assault i've kind of mentioned that here and there on the show before but just for your awareness if you weren't aware I do have a history of sexual assault so that sometimes does impact I guess the way that I think or the way that I feel or how safe that I feel these sorts of things right you see the world the way that I see the world it affects many things about your life because that's what happens right now a big reason for us leaving the club and obviously we mentioned before the energy levels is definitely a massive part of this but a reason for us leaving the club and not moving forward to play had to do with me feeling extremely triggered now this is not something in the history i think of us in this week's lifestyle lifestyle has this happened before i can't recall the time no it hasn't right so we ended up leaving because i felt extremely triggered i still have zero idea how it happened or why it happened um so whilst the men on site as we mentioned before were plentiful you know there was three guys to every couple of single lady there none of them touched me without consent none of them really tried to make me feel too uncomfortable So this is not a case of men being extremely grabby and that's what triggered me that's nothing to do with this at all i don't know what it was but i felt just triggered and i felt a moment like this you felt unsafe yeah like something could happen yes now there was a moment when i was walking to the bathroom you were still in the locker I was on my own.
Yeah. Now, these are unisex bathrooms, so they're kind of open bathrooms. Which you've been in before in other places. Restaurants have them. Like, I have no problems with a unisex bathroom at all. I don't think that's a place where some sort of sexual assault, you know, is definitely going to happen. That's not what I'm saying.
It's just that in the current state of mind, in the state of mind that I was, I was on i was on my way to the unisex bathroom now on the way there there was three guys kind of standing right outside of the bathrooms one of them did cat call me did he yeah yeah i didn't know that so he did cat call me so like the traditional whistle cat call whistle and then was like something said something sort of like a okay fucking sexy or damn girl or something like you know like, like some dodgy, dodgy comment. So there was, you know, three guys right outside of the bathroom.
And, you know, as a single guy, if there's three single guys to every couple of single lady, like, where are you going to position yourself around the club? Really? Like, you've got to stand somewhere.
Like, I don't think that these people had necessary bad intentions, but were they standing right at the front of the bathrooms because people are going to walk by yeah whatever cat called me i walk into the bathrooms then and inside the bathrooms there's two men just sitting in the bathrooms chatting no ladies were in a stall there so it wasn't like they were waiting on their girlfriends or partners or anything like that there was no other people that were just literally sitting inside there just having a conversation not next to each other i had to walk between them to get into the toilets area yeah that really made me feel really compromised being on my own in that space feeling extremely triggered for whatever the fuck reason and then walking into that where i had to physically walk between two men i actually shrunk myself down to feel a little bit smaller because i was like shit this is a weird position to be in take the mindset that i was in at at the time.
Yeah. Perfectly normal scenario. Yeah, absolutely. Actually, if I had to walk into that right now, I'd be like, hey, gents, like, what are you up to? If it were in a restaurant. If it was in a club. No issue in the club. I didn't have this mindset that I had at this moment. I would see zero problem with any of this.
In fact, I'd probably take the piss out of them for standing around, sitting around having conversation inside the toilets yep but on this moment i was worried yeah later i did also see a security guard escorting a single guy out of the building so i think that was kind of like piling on so i'm already getting a little bit triggered these guys cat this guy cat calls me i walk into the bathroom these two guys are there and then i see a security guard escorting a single guy out of the building who had done something that somebody else deemed against their consent and i think all of those things kind of combined just left me feeling a little bit uneasy yep now what i will say is that men aren't allowed on level three this was my confusion so when the guy in the pool was like can i come with you i thought it was just like a friendly chat to continue chatting.
I unintentionally misled this guy by mistake. Which I might add is that he was also not in any way part of the reason you felt triggered. Not at all. I would have actually played with him. He was lovely. In fact, just saying there was really, so other than the catcall, which is something that I think many women have dealt with, they shouldn't have to, let me be very clear on that. No woman should ever have to deal with a catcall.
But other than the cat call which is something that i think many women have dealt with they shouldn't have to like let me be very clear on that no woman should ever have to deal with a cat call but other than that the the cat call is something most women have dealt with and kind of just either shrug a shoulder or look back and say fuck you and keep walking right because unfortunately you have to deal with it but that's not something that would have triggered you normally no not at all not even remotely but and in fact we had a long conversation about this during and after because i had no idea couldn't figure out for the life of me why you felt triggered and you felt triggered predominantly the most in the pool outside there were five guys that were that were near us at the time there were two or three that were talking to us.
One you found interesting, which is the guy that ended up coming upstairs, which we misled because we didn't understand the rules of the third floor. And there were two others, neither of which were either of us interested in because they were either too drunk or just not interesting to us, right?
And none of those, I mean, certainly some of the things they were doing in the pool were were weird because they were obvious so one of the guys was just standing there playing consistently touching his cock touching his cock yeah but i have to say i've seen the same thing done at desire and at hedo men just have a struggle when their penis is out not to fucking touch it. It seems to be a thing. Yeah, exactly. Even that, that doesn't explain it either. So I'm kind of, you know, we're kind of at a loss here. And it doesn't have anything to do with the club. Let's be very clear on this.
Very clear. There is absolutely nothing to do with the club. Oasis did nothing wrong. They had security there. They had enough staff there. Nobody touched me inappropriately.
I have in a in a club where i see them removing somebody for doing something that's considered inappropriate than i do in a club that i see things inappropriate that nobody gets removed yeah they did everything right so it's not about the club it's just about the involved the things that were going on i think in your head at that time because you did feel triggered i don't know that either of us can really explain it i think you less so so just to close out really so with this guy so i we absolutely accidentally misled him he asked if he could join us after leaving the pool i said yes thinking that we're going to carry on conversation he was going to be just polite and ask hey can i come with you guys which was lovely i mean it was actually yeah nice guy.
He was really, what he was asking really was, is there potential to play? Because that's what level three is. A single guy cannot go up to level three unless a couple or a single lady invites him. Still not understanding what level three meant, even when we left him there. But we did leave him there in the company of two lovely ladies. Who said he could stay. Who were both very excited to spend time with him.
So question then, did we really make it make it mislead him given that he may have gotten to shag two ladies instead yes we did yeah no you did not me i wasn't involved in this anyway he was a gentleman and he took it when we said we're leaving obviously he was a little bit disappointed because he was keen to play but other than that perfect gentleman so just closing that off after we left the club we're in the taxi on the way home or to the hotel, and you started asking me questions. What's going on? Why do you feel triggered? I don't understand.
Those were the kind of three things that were coming from you. And to be a partner of someone who's had sexual assault in their history, it's difficult because you haven't been through it. You don't really understand it. I can empathize. I can't sympathize. Exactly. You know, you were genuinely trying to understand, I think, from your perspective, so you could provide a solution, which means fixing the problem now and then to stopping it from happening in the future. Actually, it's the second one. So you can't, I mean, I can't fix, when you're triggered, you're triggered.
There's nothing going to untrigger you. Yeah, but you can comfort me. I can comfort you. Yeah, but that's not fixing a problem. Right. That's comforting. Right. Because the problem remains when you're comforted. Yeah. It's more trying to understand, well, what happened here so that I can figure out how to prevent that from happening again? Yeah. And by the way, that may have been our fault as well. We may have done something that put us in a position that made you feel uncomfortable. Right. Not the other people around us.
So that's why I wanted to understand I think at the end of the day there was nothing that anybody really did that made me feel this way there was absolutely I mean the club was perfect the club did not do a damn thing wrong that made me feel this way I still don't quite understand why I felt this way maybe it was just because I was tired coming off the back of here we were traveling whatever and it just kind of put me in this really well we were already sort of down right i mean we weren't when we arrived there honestly we both arrived i when i arrived we walked in and we're like like we wanted to be there but it was a push yeah it was a push it was definitely a push yeah so we wanted to go because we wanted to see it and also not waste a not waste a night but you know what i mean not not we also wanted to maybe find a single guy.
So it was all of these things, but equally I think we were both like, you know. The reason I'm telling you guys this is just to share a story and to maybe tell somebody out there listening that you're not alone, but really it's just that I thought this might be helpful to people to kind of understand that if you're out there and you've had sexual assault happen, maybe you might be triggered.
if you're a partner of somebody who's had some sexual assault happen you know sometimes it's difficult being on the the wing person for that because you don't know what to do and the flip side of that is if you're somebody who's then dealing with somebody who's had sexual assault obviously there's certain triggers and things that might happen there but I don't know I just wanted to share it I don't really know why just thought it was an interesting thing that happened that's not happened in seven and a half years in our journey so i don't know yeah i mean interesting might be might not be the right no vernacular but certainly it was and again there was there was nothing there that i could see hence why i was so questioning after we left because i really wanted to understand what what may have caused this problem so that we could not repeat it because it's the first time it's happened.
Yeah. I honestly think looking at where we were, what was happening, I think in any other situation, if it was your first night out, you hadn't been drinking for a week, your mind was a little bit more on the ball, you weren't tired. I would have been in like fucking Flynn, man. There was like three guys there that I found really attractive, that one guy in particular. Yeah, absolutely. So I think it would have been a much different night had we been – and we plan to go back. So when we go back, we'll see how it goes next time around.
Yeah, I think it's an interesting – now I'm using your words. It was something.
It's something that's happened in our journey that hasn't happened before and we wanted to share it yeah absolutely but again I will say I will state loudly please do nothing to do with the club nothing to do with their policies they are very inclusive they were lovely the entire time we were there lots of staff it's not like there was like barely any staff they were everywhere well staffed well secured there was nothing to do with that it was just our night it was just the night that that would happen that happened yeah yeah so we'll be back and uh you know there's anyone from oasis listening we you know we enjoyed our night there and we're really interested in getting back and we will come back and i hope we've been obvious enough in this conversation to to make note that it wasn't anything to do with you guys and and you have a lovely club and we look forward to coming back again.
I'm going to leave you with a top towel tip for what I'm calling the TTT. You fucking stole this. You stole this. I'm crediting her. You're such a thieverer.
When we first started talking to the Toronto Unicorn, she was wearing a towel, like we said before 80 90 percent of the people were and she had you know ladies when you're doing your hair and stuff you got the towel you got wrapped around you and we try we attempt to do this little thing where we tuck a top bit of the towel in against our breasts in the hope that it secures the towel and it fucking doesn't let's just all be fair like that doesn't secure shit because boobies They move around.
She was standing there talking to us, and she had the towel wrapped, folded over, and then she had a bulldog clip in the front of the towel fucking holding the whole situation together like the MacGyver of fucking swinger clubs. It was my genius. She actually – MacGyver-ress. She threatened to do one with her logo on it so that she could – Which I think is brilliant. Fucking genius. Sell that shit, make bank. So there you go. If you guys are going to even a resort or whatever – Yeah, it's a great idea. It's a fucking great idea. Bulldog clip down the front.
Yeah, you can even get plastic bulldog clips now as well so you don't get any rust or anything. It's amazing. Genius. Genius. Fucking genius. Top town tip. Yeah, you know what? I'll be sure that you will put that in there right beside your hair tie that you never take with you. It needs to have the hair tie wrapped around the top of the bulldog clip, so then I take them both. Or forget them both, either one. You will forget them both. Hey, I need some Aussie names for our patrons. So we had a bunch of patrons join us in December. And are you ready to give them some Aussie names?
I'll do my best. Okay, Justin. Ooh, Justin. And don't be lazy and just add an O to everything. O to the end of it. No, but I think Justin is – it'd probably be Juz. Juzza. It'd be Juzza. I think we'd probably take the piss. And I don't know. Maybe this is not an Australian thing. But it could – no, I think it would be like Juzza in. So, we'd probably call him like something. No, it'd be Jazza. Jazza. Okay, Jazza. Okay, we've got Gene. Gene. Don't do Gino. No, because Gino is a whole different, another name. So then we'd change that.
So his name would be our Italian friend or Pizza Boy, something like that. Pizza. It'd become pizza. Because it'd be Gene, then they'd go Gino, then it'd be, oh, that's Italian. Then we'd reference something Italian. Mozzarella. Oh, yeah, it'd be Mozza. There you go. His name would be Mozza or pizza? Katie. Mozza, it'd be Mozza. Katie. Mm-hmm. It's Cat. Yeah, that's not really an Aussie thing, though, is it? It's not, no. Sorry. Sorry, Katie. Katie's actually been talking a lot to me on Patreon, so I'm glad that she's there. Thank you. Let me see. William. Dick. Dick, yeah, Dick.
That's pretty, I think, global, that one as well. Dickie. Actually, it'd be Dickie because it's Dickie Knee for those Australians. Actually, it'd probably become Dickie Knee. Dickie Knee? Yeah. And then Chris. I had a Chris even when I was growing up. I know. I keep trying to think back to like friends and I'm like, hmm. Yeah, the Chris sort of I had though was a redhead. So he became blue. Yeah, oh yeah. So, okay, I'm assuming this Chris is a redhead. Oh yeah. Yeah, name's Blue. Okay, there you go. Bam. Otherwise, your Australian name is Chris.
Justin, Gene, Katie, William, Chris, thank you very much for joining us over on Patreon. That was a lackluster Australian naming. It It was a lacklustre. Fucking hell. Do better with your names, guys. I feel like I'm letting the country down. I know. Check out the show notes in your final link there. Coming up next, we are going to talk about our New Year's Eve, which started off with a bang and tantric tents and tantric massages.
And we also did have permission to talk about our first dutch play session and a very fancy boudoir we do so coming up next check those out but otherwise thanks for hanging in there guys and really appreciate you listening ciao
