Have you ever considered hosting a sex party?
Hosting a Sex Party
A lot of effort and thought goes into hosting a sex party, the location, the right mix of people, what theme to have, drinks / food / music and more.
In this episode we use the Swingers Help Wicked Guide to Hosting Sex Parties as our base, we explore the chapters in the guide and talk through how we would approach hosting a sex party or swingers house party.
We share your thoughts on what the most important thing is about sex parties (spoiler, it's the people) and then we share a quick story on a swingers house party where we stopped play and left.
Links and Resources used in this episode
The Wicked Guide to Hosting Sex Parties https://swingershelp.com/wicked-guide-to-hosting-sex-parties/
Find Swingers Help on Twitter https://twitter.com/swingershelp
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Transcript
you're listening to the wanderlust swingers podcast with aussie hosts kate and daryl if you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging hot wiping and non-monogamous lifestyle you've definitely come to the right podcast or maybe you just love travel adventures either way we share our personal sometimes juicy sexy stories as well as swingers club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has.
We hope you enjoy, now let's get into the episode. okay there guys and welcome back to episode 145. This is How to Host a Sex Party. Welcome back, Daryl. Welcome back? Why? Where did I fucking go? Well, we've had about three episodes since the last time you were on the show, so. Yeah, well, I mean, that's probably your fault. It's probably my fault. It probably is. So, what makes a successful and well-run sex party? That's what we're going to talk about today. So, we're going to explore hosting and how to host a bad... This will be really interesting, given we've never hosted a sex party.
Well, we're going to get to that. Sex party? Is that what we're calling it? Yeah, yeah. Why are we calling it a sex party? What happens if no sex happens? So how to host a badass sex swingers party. Daryl, fuck me up. How to host a badass swingers house party. We're going to be reviewing the swingers help wicked guide on hosting swinger house parties. Super wicked. And mixing it in with your thoughts and finishing off with a story on us attending a house party in Sydney which is really going back into the archives. So stick around for that.
Yeah, I mean or we could just guide them back to the original episode where we discussed it. Nah, we're not going to do that. Especially because the audio, I bet, was probably shit. Hey, so what's the news with us? Daryl, you just transferred something rather important to you over to Europe. Tell us a little bit about that. I did? Yeah, you're a baby sperm that you've had sitting in a freezer in Sydney. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I don't remember transferring anything over to Europe. I mean, I carried my sperm in my testicles when I came.
That quite a long time ago what about your castle license oh you mean my flying license yeah so yes i've just changed my australian i still retain my australian license but i've also now endorsed myself here in in europe so for the people at home with great excitement because this really matters to you and it's a passion and a really awesome hobby like what does that even mean what the fuck are you talking about it's not really a passion to talk about it more of a passion to do it you know but hey look i'll give you the spin so basically what it means is that i am now able to fly a helicopter in europe that it has a european tail number on it rather than previously the only helicopters i could fly in europe by myself were ones with an Australian tail number on them, which of course do not exist here, which means I had to fly back to Australia every time I wanted to re-certify my license, which is every two years.
For those of you who are more interested for me to go into further detail until you pass out due to boredom, just send me a message and I will monotonatically give you exactly what you need to get to sleep. So basically, we took a helicopter out flying on the weekend in Slovenia, which is a neighbouring country to Croatia, and Daryl managed to get his certification. I don't know, managed. I think aced it is a better way to say. And some of the best flying that you said you've ever done to date. So that was really awesome. So that's a little bit about what's going on with us.
I mean, it's right up there, right beside the Sydney Harbour. So, you know, it's pretty cool. Something to be said about that. Hey, so we're two hours away from actually packing up this equipment and putting it in a box. Fucking two hours, my furry ass. You're about an hour and 15 minutes away from packing this up. And it's going to go in a box and it's going to be shipped off to the Netherlands. This shit's fucking holding me up to pack the rest of the fucking house. So, you know, like you've got to get on it. Yeah. Your whole room is holding me up. This room is a fucking schmuzzle.
It is not a schmuzzle. It's a schmuzzle. I disagree. So we're heading off to the Netherlands. Listen, cultural tidbit. For what? Cultural tidbit. For Slovenia or the Netherlands? It's the last one for Croatia. Yeah. Well, lucky we move regularly because you'd run out otherwise. I know. Like, oh, fuck, what am I going to do? I've been living in the same country for three years. I've run out of cultural tidbits. Well, no, I do it when I – You know everything about this country now. I do it when I travel as well. So there's always that.
But, yeah, it's – well, that's why we're called the Wanderlust swingers, darling. You know, budumts. Okay, you ready? I've got a couple. Why are budumts? I've got a couple for Croatia just, you know, to commemorate the time that we spent here.
So I just looked up a website which is all about how to date in croatia and i pulled this section out of the website beware of galeb's claws galeb's claws if you're female travel in croatia particularly if you're visiting the coastal cities like split some of these men may seem charming good-looking and speak impeccable english but they are galeb's beware of the galeb's what inb? In the devil? Galeb. Sorry, we've just skipped back to the 1820s. Galeb is the Croatian word for a seagull, but what this actually refers to is a Croatian Casanova.
They roam around their natural habitats, tourist places, and here they get a new foreign girlfriend every week. Galeb. There you go. Croatian cultural tidbit, like, arguing over the chip, there's a whole lot of Galebs just gathered around the one woman. Actually, no, hang on. That's what we saw. That's got to be the French word. I think you might have got your cultural tidbit wrong. Oh, yeah, for a cup dog. For a cup dog, yeah. A group of Galebs hanging out around one lady out in the middle of the water jerking off.
You know, like a huge circle jerk, which is kind of the opposite to seagulls which steal your shit instead it's seagulls who deposit shit on you see what i mean well seagulls actually do deposit shit on you if you're standing in the wrong spot yeah i should have used the word stuff instead of shit but i have another another section i'd like to read you this was from a different website about dating and sex in croatia and i'm curious about whether you think this is accurate but because you work with so many because you work with so many guys as well okay Croatians enjoyment is very important and they have sexual relations on average 134 times per year during their lifetime Croatians change around seven to eight partners 75% of Croatians in relationship they say that love is the most important thing.
Croatians are very loud during sex, and they are the third highest ranking list of loudest people in the world. Interesting, we've never heard our neighbours having sex, so I don't know about that. Pretty sure they've never heard of us having sex either, though. Why? Because we're not very loud. Walls are pretty paper thin, babe.
Well, if that's the case, somebody's going to fucking kill us before we leave because of the squeaky dog toy that is happening at like midnight more than a third of people say they practice loud orgasms croats love sex they are more passionate but not lovers of using condoms for protection with as little or as many as 40 percent of sexually active croats using protection yes what do you think about that accurate spot on no fucking idea no no idea so that's the intro done guys we're going to come back and we're going to review the swingers help wicked guide on hosting swingers parties so uh come back and uh join us for that um and just something as a side note that's really interesting that you guys will never get to hear is the pause that kate leaves in the podcast to remind her to cut out something that i've said that she doesn't want there anymore and you got to hear that so maybe this this is ultra ultra long so you guys this pdf is available on the swingers help website and of course will linked in the show notes.
It's 55 pages long, which is amazing. It's very thorough, something I know that Daryl would probably never read. So what we're going to do is we're going to jump through some of the chapters. I didn't even make it through the page number of 55. I just read five. We're going to jump through some of the page chapters here and we're going to talk a little bit about how to host great sex parties. Just because it's a party for swingers doesn't mean there's any sex going to happen. You just never know. You never know. So third time's the charm.
Daryl mentioned during the intro that we have not hosted these parties before and we've attended very, very few. So I think that this will be interesting for us as we kind of go through and have a look at this and see from a brand new perspective. So just like all of our episodes, we offer zero value to you. Okay. So take our advice with the grain of salt in which it's intended. So here we go. Types of sex parties, meet and greet, house party, skirt party, masturbation party, key party, list goes on, list goes on. I don't even know what half of these are already. Skirt parties is for ladies.
So I actually interviewed one of the owners of the skirt club, which is exactly, exactly that. So I guess the moral of the story there is that there are a lot of different kinds of parties that you guys could have and to figure out which one that you actually want to do. So I'm going to skip over that.
And I'm going to go on the where to host section section i'm going to read these out to you and you can tell me just generally what you think about hosting an event at these locations right so number one your own home yes it's a good option you know you're generally pretty safe although if you are unable to throw people out because they're twats might not be the best way to go and if you have a small house, I mean, of course. Yeah. Don't do it in your 15 square meter apartment. No, you might want to do it at a friend's house. That could maybe be a new section they've got here.
Like, hey, do you have a friend who's got a baller house that you want to maybe throw a party at? So your home or a friend's home. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, I gotcha. I'm saying, hey, if I had a friend who was in the lifestyle, he had a really, really awesome house to host parties at. Then why wouldn't they just host? Because I'd like, maybe they would, and I'd just like nudge them all the time and drop hints that they should host a party at their house. Gotcha. Okay. Airbnb, home rentals. No. Why no? Illegal. Yes, it is actually illegal.
If you look at the terms and conditions of Airbnb, you're actually not allowed to throw parties at them. However, there airbnb rentals that specify you can have parties like for example the loft event that we held in new york city like way back in 2018 that was an actual airbnb rental but along with it designated as an event space you had to hire their staff you had to get in and get out within like three hours and And obviously, like, sex on premise is a big no-go. So, yeah, Airbnb. Hotel Suites. Oh. You had to hire their staff. You had to get in and get out within like three hours.
And obviously like sex on premise is a big no-go. So, yeah, Airbnb. Hotel suites. Also not really allowed, but happens all the time. What would you think about hosting? Would you ever host one? I mean, we've been to a hotel suite party before in Singapore, which was a nightmare. But what would you think about hosting one? I'd go to one. I wouldn't have a problem go to one. Yeah, I wouldn't be big on hosting it. I feel like it's, they're never big enough. I mean, it's, the suite is not big enough. You're talking maybe 10, maybe 10 couples at best into a suite, unless you've got a penthouse.
If you've got the penthouse and it's a big place, then that's a different story, but suites, no. Yeah, I agree. A lot of the times the parties that I've seen hosted in suites, it's like maybe a one bedroom suite or suite or maybe a two-bedroom suite, they're small and then they're inviting all these people over and there's nowhere to see it and it's just a little bit awkward. So, yeah, I'd go to one. People constantly upping your shit. But I would definitely like go to one if it was in a penthouse suite with, you know, like 2,000 square feet or something crazy like that.
2,000 square feet is not very big. Really? That's the size of a house in Singapore? Yeah. I thought that was pretty big. That'd host a party there. No, that's too small. Okay, here we go. Other alternatives. If you want to get crazy, there's other alternatives. And here we go. Strip clubs, swinger clubs, BDSM clubs, nude resorts. They're not wrong. You can host parties at those. Mm-hmm. Kind of though if you're going to host a private party at like a nude resort and stuff like that, unless you're taking it over.
But even then that seems like it's going to be a little bit bigger than your standard kind of though if you're going to host a private party at a like a nude resort and stuff like that unless you're taking it over but even then that seems like it's going to be a little bit bigger than a than your standard kind of thing well nude resort might be tough as well uh you've tried to host events at nude resorts and nudists are not typically very big on swingers i have that was way back when we were living in sydney i reached out to a number of uh nude resorts in australia and they all told you to fuck off not only did one say fuck off but it also said fucking don't bring any of your filthy swinger cunt friends here either it was like please also tell your other filthy friends to fuck off as well not just not just you fuck off you fuck off the horse you rode in on and the guy made the fucking saddle yeah and the snake that scared it that scared it.
The snake that scared it. Right. The next section, which is a really important section, I think, and I'm interested to see what you think about this, Daryl, but navigating your guest list. In what way? Like navigation in what way? So choosing the right guest list. So do you want to curate your guest list? Do you want to find people that are of similar interest? If you're hosting a house party, I mean, it's like, I wouldn't have thought that a curated guest list is part of that. Anyway, but that's just me. I mean, it becomes an event if you're running a house party, right?
Well, that's what I was going to ask you. Like, I really think that this, I mean, navigating curating your guest list, I think that it depends on your intentions.
If it's going to be a small house party where you're just inviting your friends over then that's to me just your friends coming over yep if you're putting it up on a dating website that's a more public kind of party yeah and then you can't i mean of course you can curate it you can remove people you can say to people they're not welcome but you know there's not too many people out there that are capable of doing that self-intent included like just saying yeah look you're not you're not my deal parkowski not really uh not really well not really a socially acceptable way to go i think interesting you say that because later on in the episode we're going to read some responses from a lot of people and their number one thing was the right guest list so you and i are on the same page by which like the right guest list is important but i just don't think that you have the option to curate it unless you're willing to out yourself as a as a bit of a picky twat well so some people might argue that you're not being a picky twat, people may still gain that impression of you.
Yeah, and they may. Like, so for example, if you put this up on a dating site and you say, I'm having a house party, and then 50 people apply, and then you go to those profiles and you're like, oh, you're a size 14, no, we're only looking for size 2 to 6. You're 45, we're only looking for people who are 30 to 40. You know, so there is a way and a method to curate it to whatever I guess you're looking for, but yes, are people going to think that you're excluding people? Well, yeah, because you are.
And whether or not you're comfortable with that is… I mean, you're able to do it, provided you're willing to deal with the potential ramifications. I mean, yeah, it's a slippery slope. So, here we go. So, they've written down option A and option B for navigating and curating your guest list. So option A is to pick people that share the same vanilla demographics like similar age, job, neighbourhoods, income, etc., right? Or hobbies or travel experiences. And the second option B is to pick people that share the same lifestyle demographics. So do people have the same play styles?
Are they bisexual? Are they on the same position on condoms? You know, these sorts of things. The interesting thing about doing that is, I mean, that is a lot of work, really, to find out how people feel on those kinds of levels to being able to then curate the guest list. That's extensive. You know, if it's just a matter of finding out if they're bisexual, you should be able to find out that on someone's dating profile, right? But these other things, I think, would require you to spend a significant amount of time or sending them a questionnaire to find out the answers. Yes.
So there's a section here on screening guests and red flags. It's interesting. It's about, like, fake couples and sloppiness and drama and racism and bias. Sloppiness? What's sloppiness? Sloppiness. You are inviting people into your home. You don't want people that will trash it or someone that will get drunk and puke on your floor. Pay attention to how people behave in the swingers club. Are they respecting club rules? Are they sloppy? Are they lacking consideration of others? So that's what they say here. So dodge cunts. Yeah. And then racism and bias, you know, those sorts of things.
So we're still talking about dodging cunts. Still talking about dodging cunts, yeah. So there's a section here on what to communicate with guests. Like I guess that's about new rules and, you know, those sorts of things. But I'm going to go down here to tactically transforming your space. So here we go. Outdoor considerations. Well, I mean, you know what?
We've been to parties or we've heard of parties where people have, you know, massive hot tubs and like big balconies and like all those sorts of things, which all just really lush we don't have those no and i'm actually confused as to which party you're referring to that had those none of the ones we've been to i'm saying our friends our friends have spoken about going to these parties okay so third party reference uh yes other people have told us yeah that this happens hey if this if this happens to you, well played. Yes. So it talks about like outdoor considerations.
I'm going to skip over that. But I want to spend a moment on this one, bathroom tune-up. And the reason I want to spend some time about bathroom tune-up. Just clean your pubes off the soap. Is because of that reason.
So jumping back into a house party we visited in Sydney, can you explain to people the state of the bathroom, please i mean yeah it was it was great i mean it was wasn't a place that i'd come feel comfortable taking a shit i mean it was a fucking horrible it was a horrible location i mean i don't know what else to say there was fucking hair all over the place on stuck on the underside of the toilet seat because obviously only men lived in the place and they'd never fucking lifted the toilet seat ever to clean or to piss. So, you know, there was literal pubic hair stuck under the toilet seat.
What I will say about the bathroom cleanup section here in the guide is that I think you've got your average clean bathroom and then you've got your bathroom prepared for a swingers event.
So for me, they talk about this too about like extra towels and extra wash and stuff like that if i was to have a house party i would definitely i mean the bathroom would be clean but there would be extra towels in there there would be some like mouthwash out there would be other bits and pieces inside the bathroom that i think would be beneficial to people at a party like what else what else is beneficial um i think i would, like I said, some mouthwash out, definitely. I'd probably put some like deodorant out and perfume out and like breath mints. A hammer.
Okay, so it's like there's a loose nail somewhere, find somewhere on the bed. You know, some breath mints in there. They can just knock it in. Yeah, exactly. Those sorts of things.
I'd probably put some like wet wipes in there, you know, if I was having a party like'd be that'd be where it's at gotcha setting up a bar area i mean to me that just that's like party 101 i don't think that needs to be said really like setting up your bar area if you're going to invite people over depends on whether you're giving them booze or not would you give them booze what would you do if you were going to have a party would you supply booze would you ask people to bring a bottle would you ask people to donate money? Like what would be your thing? Donate money. Yeah. That's code for pay.
We want you to donate to come. But we're going to ask you for the donation as soon as you get to the door.
And if you don't give a donation, we're either going to scour at you and send you away or just not let you you in totally yeah sorry oh no without the donation it's very hard for us to upkeep and maintain the residence so we can't really let you in because you may do damage to it even though we've left a hammer in the toilet for you to be able to knock any nails in any loose nails that might be poking out around So, hey, you know the question I asked you before you went on your wildly ridiculous rant, would you be supplying, would you supply alcohol? Oh, maybe.
It just depends on the size and whether I like them or not. Oh, God, fuck. Okay, imaginary party, 36 people arrive, it's in your house. They all arrived at the same time? At the same time. How are we going to get them through the door you know okay so they arrive yes 36 people no i wouldn't give 36 people drinks you wouldn't no it's too many fucking people how many people would you give drinks to 10 including you and me no no so it's 10 plus right 10 plus us Yeah. Okay, so five couples. Yeah. And the sixth couple, if they would have said to you, hey, D.
Oh, so it's ten plus, right, ten plus us. Yeah. Okay, so five couples. Yeah. And the sixth couple, if they were to say to you, hey, Daryl, we'll come but we'll bring a bottle of scotch? I don't understand what you're saying. Like I'm just saying, could another couple come and then bring a bottle? They really want to come. Yeah. Can they come? They're going to bring a bottle. They're going to throw in a bag of Doritos as well. Only if they've got enough bottles to keep everybody drinking. No. They're the six couple. You're supplying alcohol to the ten people.
Yeah, I know, but I'm bringing the required alcohol for the ten people that, you know, and then because I know them well enough to give them the right alcohol. And this guy's just going to rock up with a fucking bottle of whiskey, which I've already got in the house. I mean, that's not going to work, is it? So you're saying no to the six couple that are like, Daryl and Kate, we really want to come to this party. Two of our other friends are going. You know what I'd say? Yeah. You're fucking too much drama already. Okay. Let's now say we've got 60 people. Yeah. Would you hire a bartender? No.
You'd never hire a bartender? I mean, it depends. Are people paying to come to this event? I don't know, Daryl. oh fucking hell this is getting deep 60 people in my house what fucking size house do i have an american one i mean you know they'll be having big houses over there's a fucking huge 60 people yeah argument's sake 60 people right then it's a swingers club i would hire a bartender i would actually i wouldender. Of course you would. I would actually like to hire. Because you're a people pleaser, Kate. I would actually like to hire a mixologist. A fucking people pleaser.
For a party that I had at my house. Like I think that would be for us. I'd throw a bag of Doritos in the corner into a pig trough. You're the reason why people don't like going to house parties. You fucking cheap bastard. Could be worse. Be nice or I'll give you all blow-up mattresses to fuck on. You know what would be good? If you had a circle of friends that actually hosted parties at their house. Do you know what I mean? The circle of life. I'm going to host one this month and you can host one next month and then the next month.
Would you like me to rub some mud on your forehead and hold you up to the window? No. I don't want you to do that. Hakuna Matata, it does say in here consider hiring a bartender truly invaluable and provide an extra set of eyes and also hands etc etc i would hire one i would say yes i'm a yes to that for 60 people i would also hire a bartender but i wouldn't let 60 people into my house if they weren't fucking paying right okay so how much would you charge if you were hosting a house party with 60 people at your house, you're supplying alcohol, and you've hired a bartender?
What would you charge? 80 bucks. 80 bucks? Yeah. Okay. It's pretty steep. Cunts are coming to my house. They could steal my shit. I mean, everyone leaves with their own fucking bed on the way out or something. You know, you can't, you know? You know what I'm also going to go as far as to say? What about if they take the safe? Not that we have a safe. Actually, we do have a safe. Holy shit, we actually do. But we've never used it. No. We don't have anything worth keeping in the... Okay, hold on. Hold on. I just thought of something.
Along with the bartender that I'm hiring for the 60 people party, do you know what else I'm doing? You're charging $ is coming out of the 80 darrell fund do you know what i'm doing no hang on we are charging 80 dollars no no this is no no i wanted to do it for free but daryl's an so you have to pay the 80 if you can find 60 friends 60 of our closest friends i'll happily do it for free you'll do it for free yeah find find 60 people you can get into one space at the same time just to hang out with us, and it's free of cost for all 60. Well, there you go, everybody.
So email at wanderlustswingers.com. Daryl's just recommended that it's going to be a free party. But listen, do you know, aside from the bartender, other things that I would hire for this party, this imaginary party we're hosting, a cleaner the next day. Oh, fucking hell. I'm not even joking. Can you imagine, like, you just roll out of bed and fuck off to the coffee shop, get your avocado on toast. Avo. Get your avo on toast and your light. With Vegemite. And your flat white. With Vegemite. Right. And then a clean crew comes in, cleans up, and then you just kind of stroll back in. Yep.
That's what I would, that's the, like I said, that's coming out of the Daryl Fund. Hey, you know how you said people are going to steal your shit? Yep. The next section is about protecting your own personal items. Let's have a scan. And the reality is accidents happen at sex parties. Absolutely, yeah. Somebody's going to break something, probably. Someone might take a souvenir from your home. What do you reckon people would actually take out of our house? Like, if you came. That's not our shit, so it doesn't matter here.
Take what you fucking what you fucking want out of our personal items like if somebody's going to be rolling out the door with a 3d printer you're probably going to notice yeah but i don't think i don't think that's the biggest concern the biggest concern typically is you leaving something somewhere else yeah yeah that's true like you know like clothing or having to leave a club with no skirt because you lost it somewhere in the club and don't have a fucking backup of anything else to wear i don't think anybody uh you know i think somebody stole my skirt and that's that's what happens so i don't know like i i don't know what people might steal from us i don't think anything to be honest uh they might have a cracker penny but you know they'll bring it back that Socializing areas, setting up a socializing area, that kind of, that to me just feels, you know, normal.
Same with the sex areas. Here we go. Creative solutions. This is a section here. If you don't have much space, you can get creative. Some people will transform their basements and garages into playrooms. Guys, swingers help. We're talking about people not having space, mate. Why have they got basements and garages if they've got no space? If they've got no space, they're like us. They can throw a piece of cloth and it'll hit the front door. That's no space. Yeah, but you'd never host a party, Swingers party here. You would never host a Swingers party here. No, no chance. No.
You may get one couple into here. Yeah. But that's it. Yeah. If you live in a house or in an apartment like we have right now you find a good friend and you host at their place that's a good idea they talk a little bit about doing some do-it-yourself stuff here so buying some like red satin oh fucking gross on amazon and using it over like doorways and stuff like that to kind of make the place feel a little bit... Slutty. A little slutty, a little bit of decoration there. Okay, let's talk about the section about party rules. Party rules. How are you going there, Penny?
You're breathing into the microphone well enough, darling? You good? You're all over this track. Okay, party rules. So, let's talk about rules. Let's talk about the dog drooling on my fucking stomach right now. No, I don't want to do that. Let's talk about party rules. I'm going to go through these, and you can stop me for when you want to talk about something dog drooling on my fucking stomach right now. No, I don't want to do that. Let's talk about party rules. I'm going to go through these and you can stop me for when you want to talk about something.
Party rule number one, no dogs drooling on my stomach. Well, party rule number one, I think, is don't have any animals around. For me, that's a big thing. Remember that party we went to in Singapore where the lady had a little chihuahua and she always had that fin chihuahua at all the parties and it was just stress and running around and all a bit weird. I think you may have been, you know, emoting on what the chihuahua was feeling. No, it was just like walking around and you're there in like laundry and there's this fucking dog roaming. I don't know, it just feels weird to me.
So you don't mind if animals are there? As long as I don't lick my foot while I'm fucking someone. I say no animals. Because that's weird. I don't think I have animals around when you're having a party. What's weird about that is, again, the decision-making that goes through your head. Like, should I continue or should I stop? Oh, wait, should you continue or should you stop? Yeah, yeah. Never heard that before, have you? I've heard that a few times over the last 13 years, I can tell you. Yeah.
I love when we meet new people and they think you're funny and I'm like, man, I've heard this so often. See, at least my jokes are original. And I use the term joke loosely. Yeah, that's because not jokes i mean i think what the reason my jokes have become stagnant and stale is because i've got nobody in living with me who has the capability to help me refresh my repertoire so it's my fault yeah i see i mean you know okay that's cool good sex party rules i'm going to read some of them you're going to stop me at one that you want to talk about. Ready.
Arrival times, play areas, mobile phones, nudity, consent, windows, outdoor areas, hot tub, spectating, sloppy drunks, no driving. I think there's a lot of fucking weird ones in here. I haven't stopped you because I wanted to see how deep it went. STI results, health checks, food regulations, fire code, alcohol control, taxes, home insurance, noise levels. Holy fucking shit. Okay, we're getting deep now. Online payment issues, donation loophole mirage. What? That's it. Donation loophole mirage. I don't understand. Okay. Donation loophole mirage.
With all these potential pitfalls, you might be thinking that you won't charge admission, but instead ask for donations to hopefully dodge these requirements. Depending on how you do this and how your local tax, local laws are written. It might make no difference. Some areas say accepting money in any manner will trigger business regulations and statutes. This is not a complete list, so seek out your lawyer and your accountant to find out more information.
Cool, cool that is so what they're basically saying like if you're going to charge i i got it but you got it yeah i mean you read it out so yeah i know it was right here but can i uh i was listening to you you know can we can we are other people listening to you if you're on this podcast and you're not listening to what we say then go to another podcast you know what else what i should have stopped at health checks because the next section that i started reading out was problems with cash parties yeah i was gonna say it went it went real south there for a minute the the rules stop at health checks any of those rules that you want to expand on and talk about no they're all pretty self-explanatory i would think would you ask to see people's id just Is that a curiosity?
No. Some people have talked about that online, like, should you get the ID of people that are coming to these parties in case anything goes wrong, in case you need to follow up with people? Should you get the ID? Don't you just fucking hog tie them on the floor until the police arrive? Isn't that the go-to move? Or shoot them? Okay. Shoot them. So the next section is problems with cash parties and I accidentally went into that. Claim they're a burglar.
I accidentally went into that before but this is 100% spot on that if you start charging for parties, if you charge money, then you could fall into some of these categories and you need to be aware of that, particularly if you're accepting money through things like PayPal or Cash App. Cash App and PayPal will both notify the local tax registration or like, for example, if you're in the States, they'll notify the IRS with your income details and you'll have to pay tax on that. That's a new thing that Cash App just actually started doing a little while ago.
So there are a lot of sex workers out there who have been using Cash App for ages to swap content on. And now Cash App are telling the IRS how much you're actually earning I'm not going to lodge your tax against that. So it is something to be absolutely aware of. A lot of people think, oh, it's just, you were just charging for a party. But unless you're getting it, I guess you could take it in cash. But if you're doing any kind of payments through PayPal, which would be against their terms of service anyway, but shush, shush, or cash up there, they're going to declare you to the IRS.
Did you know that? Yes. You knew that, huh? So, yeah, that's a little bit about the payment section. Now, Daryl, at your $80 and your 30 couples coming, what are you going to do now? Are you going to take cash or are you going to take a payment up front? You're going out and buying all this alcohol. Dude, this is so much thought. I mean, I thought a house party was just inviting a group of friends around to hang out with you. Maybe it's not if you're going to advertise it. Well, if you're going to advertise it and try and make money out of it, it's a fucking business. It's not a house party.
That's a business. Okay. So you should be taxed. Right. So what you're saying is anybody out there, anybody out there who's putting up a party on like a dating site or a blog or wherever they're putting it on a dating swingers forum or whatever, and they're taking money for it, you're saying it's a business. Yes. And should be taxed accordingly. Yes. No gray area there at all for you. Why would there be gray? Were you talking about 60 people? Well, you said 60 people. Well, no, you said 60. 30 couples. Yeah, 30 couples. Yeah. 80 bucks. Yeah. That's fucking... Okay. Right.
It's, yeah, 30 couples, 80 bucks. Yeah. That's fucking – Okay, right. It's either a profitable business or an unprofitable business. But it's a business. So what you're saying is you should declare it. 60 people is a fucking business, yes. Okay. 60 fucking people in your house for a party that they're paying for is absolutely a fucking business. I think that there would be a lot of people out there listening to this that would argue with you. I'm sure there would be, but that doesn't mean they're right. Yeah, because I know a lot – like I see it all the time.
And I'll see all the time on dating sites or in the forums where people are hosting parties and charging for it. Yeah. So you're saying that all of those people should be registering businesses, paying their dues, all that, that there's no ifs, buts, or maybes. Yeah. Okay. That's an interesting – I mean, going by the letter of the law is – well, I mean, there's a different law in all of the 50 states, of course, but in the US and different laws in every other location country-wise as well.
But I would imagine if you're making any money out of an event, even at your house, at any location, it's taxable. It's a business. It's an income. I mean, don't get me wrong. You can hide it. And I'm sure many people have and do. And I mean, I'm sure we've done the same, not for swingers parties, but certainly for other events along the way through our lives. But it's still a business, yeah. Okay.
I mean, you're just illegally trading, which is is fine if you're happy to do that fucking go nuts do illegal shit all the time i speed yeah fuck you know i'm not i'm not in a glass house throwing stones here we all do we all have a different level of comfort but i mean where does it stop 60 fucking people that's a lot of people at eight dollars let's do the math here i would i would argue i think i think it's a bit of a gray area for me i would argue that if you do this and you did it and it's once once a year unfortunately you're not the person who makes the law well i am so this is my whether you think it's fucking gray or not it doesn't matter the guys the guys sitting on a bench who say no that's actually's actually fucking illegal.
Yeah, totally, 100% illegal. I only did heroin the one time. Yeah, still illegal. See these leggings that I'm wearing? Yeah. These are my law leggings. Yeah, gotcha. If you're hosting a party once a year that you charge for, I don't, for me, I'm like, eh, you know, I don't see the need to go and register a business and pay you tax and do the whole thing. If you are doing this once a quarter or something like that, then that is a business to me. You are actually creating a business and you should have...
If you're thinking about your event as much as this, as much as you are here in this, like in, in this 55 pages of reading, if you're thinking about this event that much... It's a business. It's likely it's a business in my mind.
I mean, that you know should you have should you have drinks or not should you supply drinks or not i mean if you're supplying drinks and people are paying an entry to come to drink those drinks then whether you like it or not you're selling drinks yep that makes you a business right yep actually it makes you a liquor-selling business, which is a whole other fucking thing. Mm-hmm. Depending, I know, there's going to be some people, ah, depends on the state you're in. I understand there's differences.
I'm using a carte blanche look at all of the things globally and saying most, if not all, it's a business. Yep. The next section is on themes, which is, again, really, really comprehensive. There's some great ideas in here.
If you guys are looking for a themed party or even looking for a theme for like your business, or even if you're having like a group of friends over and you're wondering what kind of party to have, it's really quite comprehensive I like it and the thing that I like about this too is that there's no yuck worthy ones in here that I can see because there's some party themes that just are just not okay for me holy hell this is really comprehensive I think one of there's a few things you got to be careful of with parties is themes for parties I think there's a lot of things that have been done to death oh my god yeah you know there's a lot of things that have been done to death and i think most of most swingers who've been in the lifestyle for a little period of time will have all of those costumes available to them without a doubt and the problem is though is that it doesn't the reason that party's a theme typically is to add a little bit of spice excitement something different being able to be somebody else for a little bit but if you do that regularly enough it just becomes part of your life so you know it's not it loses that edge so that's the biggest thing for me is making sure that your themes are actually something interesting you know like actually have a crack at finding something that might be a little bit different.
Yeah, I agree, I agree. It's going to grow a whole lot of questions, of course, because people won't understand what the fuck you're trying to do. Like my themes, yeah. But your what themes? My themes for PCAP, a lot of the time people don't understand the intention behind them, so that's why I do my little guides on how to dress, like, what the purpose of the theme was. Okay. I mean, nice plug. It wasn't a plug, I'm just saying. I don't like a plug. No, a plug sounds like, hey, everybody, we'd love for you to come to PCAP in Palm Springs. See, now you're plugging again.
You're like, now you're a double plugger. And for any of yous who don't know what that means, you need to look up the Australian Slang Dictionary. Australian Slang for double plugger. To find the double plugger. And it is not DP, in case you not DP. It could be a pretty funny... Actually, it would be a good name for DP, but it isn't. You'd have to change the way it's written. It'd be double plug her, rather than E-R. It'd be H-E-R. Then it'd work. Could be also double plug. I need to add that to Urban Dictionary. I'm going to do that right now. Okay.
I do want to spend a moment talking about the section where they have under themes.'ve got problematic themes and i want to talk about this because thank you swingers help for putting this in the first section here is any theme that focuses on a specific race or ethnicity there is a section about this in particular talking about like themes to avoid and i couldn't agree on this this more i've seen some really really disgusting themes in the lifestyle and hopefully people stop doing those as more of us speak up interestingly they've got here though like avoid generational niches so like don't do a y2k party yeah i agree with that you agree with that for one for the first reason nothing exciting about y2k nothing boring as fuck i mean at least the 80s was disgusting okay y2k there was nothing exciting i agree and and for those of for people who didn't you know who weren't around for that or were too young to understand it doesn't make any fucking sense yeah yeah i mean you might as well put floppy disk drive party you may as well do a floppy people will be like what the fuck's a floppy disk it's like what's what a USB was before it was a USB?
And they're like, what's a USB? And then you say, it doesn't, it just doesn't matter. I'm too old to talk to you. No, thank you Swingers Help for putting that section in about problematic themes. I'm right there with you and I fucking hate them. And I'm just going to go throw this in there that I hate Naughty School Girl theme parties. I just hate them and I think they also deserve to be in that problematic theme area. Why's that? I still like them. Is it because of the sexualisation of young or underage? Yes, it's the sexualisation of, yes, young or underage.
But the second part of that to me is it's just overdone as well. It's overdone, I think, more than anything else. There's a section here on game ideas, which is good as well. And actually, we did use, it depends on if you need an icebreaker, and it depends on the size of the people. 60 fucking people. 60 people, you ain't running a game. No, fuck that. Too many people. That would be a $10 surcharge, and then our tax bracket would go way too high, so we can't do that. Put on. Put on. You see? My God.
Let the flow kate let it flow the flomity flow so hey guys if you're interested in reading that that's the wicked guide to hosting sex parties as i said before it's a 56 page document very very comprehensive and that is from swingers help and you can find that link in the show notes so go over and read it if you're interested or you want some inspiration about the rules or consent or games or themes definitely recommend that for reading is there an executive summary for those of us who are less into reading 55 pages there actually isn't an executive summary so i might mention to swingers help that um i'm pretty sure they'll tell me to fuck off no i don't think they will i think they'll think they should, though.
They probably should tell me to fuck off. I mean, they've invested a whole lot of work in this, and that's really cool. This is free, by the way. I'm just pulling the piss. Yeah. This is definitely a lot of work, and it's a free guide, so amazing. You guys are great. But, yeah, maybe you like the Cliff Notes, yeah, for people like Daryl. Yeah. No, executive summary sounds better than Cliff Notes. Executive summary? Yeah. We're going to be back in a second, and we're going to tell you what you thought. We're going to share the details on what you thought creates a successful – A successful?
A successful – Did you do that on purpose? Yes, I did. Oh, wow. A party. That's magic. And then we're going to share a story about a party that we attended in Sydney. I just can't believe people out there say you're not funny. I can't either. I think you're very successful. You're successfully funny. Yeah. I could keep going on this for a while, but I'll stop now. Mainly because I think if I don't stop, Kate's fire, her eyes will actually set me on fire. Your thoughts.
what is the most important thing about house parties what makes them a success that's the question i aren't answer that's the question i asked and i'm going to give you guys some answers we actually got a lot i think probably too many for me to read out on the show so i'm just going to pick and select a few maybe you could give us an executive summary of each of them them. Honey Spirian said, having the right people to attend with clear guidelines. I trust those guys. With clear guidelines. Fucking Canadians.
Having the right people to attend with clear guidelines around balancing fun and consent. Not your average missus. Having just gone to our first party, I'm not an expert.
That said, seating groups and standing tables to gather enjoy that is and music that is not too loud and not too shit and not too uh focused on particular times as well unless of course you know if it's an 80s party you play 80s music yeah yeah but i mean even even then it's okay to stray to a remix of an 80s song you know just to perhaps pump the vibe up a little bit little bit for those of us in the room who may be about to crack 50 but still don't feel like that they are. By and By 45 said the right people who have similar play styles and hosts who know how to ensure folks mingle.
They said a bunch of other things there, but I also want to say no pets are around during their event. They said that, did they? Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. Yep, yep. They also said start time before nine. If it's a house party, I agree with that. Yeah. I think it's relevant. Let me set it. So LPT and BSM said, others have said it already, but we agree, the right mix of guests. Everything else is secondary. Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree with that. The right mix of guests is really important. But how do you curate that list? I'm not saying that you can. You're right.
So you're saying that it's an important and necessary thing. No, I didn't say it's necessary. I said it's important. Would you say it is the most important? Depends if I'm charging 80 bucks for it or not. I mean, yeah, it's certainly, I think it's critical to have the right group of people, but define for me the right group of people. That's the issue.
I mean, just because you find people with similar experience, demographic, blah-dee-blah-blah, even similar interests in terms of their sexual, you know, expectations, we've been to parties with all of those things that were right and walked away without playing with anyone because we fucking hated it so you know okay our secret life uk said for me it's the host's responsibility to ensure they invite the right people who are on the same wavelength yeah i mean that i agree 100 agree i just think it's very difficult to achieve otherwise what they'd be is consultant to fucking two swingers clubs.
That's true, yeah. Because, you know, if you could get the right people into a swingers club every fucking weekend, three times, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night, it'd be the biggest club in the world. You'd be definitely making bank. Yeah, making bank. Jack's couple said the host being able to bring the right people together and having enough room to mingle and play.
Tua Mototango saying the host making an effort to know the couples who they've invited and making sure there's a right mix and at least an opportunity for every couple to connect and to therefore make people not feel like outsiders. Agreed. I think clicky groups is a problem in there as well.
You know, the issue though is when you find the right people to bring along to an event like this and then you keep inviting them and then they become a fucking click and you're back in the same problem again i know this one this one i want to i want to call out because i find this to be really really important so this is from life of eros and they said a host focused on the well-being of their guests and ensuring a positive experience for them too many hosts dive into play and the whole excuse of hosting was merely so they could get what they wanted rather than create something special for their guests we've we've seen that that party in sydney that we went to the host the dirty dirty old man with a horrible bathroom he was only hosting that party to get laid that's it well this is such a surprise to me there's people hosting sex parties who are trying to get laid themselves i know right uh bedhopper said it's 100 the people invited uh let me see here i'm just reading a lot of people are like the guests let me see the right mix of people the guests adequate bathrooms per capita yeah i mean there's there's never enough adequate bathrooms for a group of women there is not you could have a thousand bathrooms for 10 women and for some reason there'd still be a line at each of them now this next section it you just said will define the right group of people right okay this leads into this comment so tangled up together which is another podcast they said chemistry that's it that's all they said one word chemistry yeah and i said care to elaborate because the definition of chemistry is the emotion the complex emotional and physiological interaction between people right thank you for that webster Thank you.
And I said, care to elaborate, because the definition of chemistry is the complex emotional and physiological interaction between people, right? Thank you for that Webster's Dictionary over there. That was an enlightening little tidbit of information. Thank you. If I take nothing else away from this podcast, it will be what the definition of chemistry is. Precisely, 100%. Tangled Up Together then responded, and they said, more than just between couples who may be drawn to each other, the chemistry of the entire group is important.
So's what we're saying before what is the best group of people the best parties have a feel of familiarity within the entire group even if no one knows each other going in the conversation flows better comfort levels are higher and no one is an oddball out because the group chemistry is there everyone is included and satisfied no matter who they are talking to so it comes, again, curating that list. And we had this problem actually when we were hosting those pub crawls in Sydney, if you remember. No, because they're like fucking 20 years ago. 20 years ago, it feels like.
We had a moment where somebody said to us, am I too old or I'm too old to come or you guys don't want me there? And we said absolutely. That's actually not the case at all.
We didn't ever put an age age limit on it but what we did say was if you've got a room of 22 year olds and then a 60 or 70 year old although they might actually have a conversation with each other be quite cordial to each other they haven't grown up with the same kind of levels of interest or knowledge about things so the 22 year old's going to probably be miserable the 60 or 70 year old's probably going to be miserable too so it- or 70-year-old's probably going to be miserable too. So it does make sense that you would, on some level, try to put some similar people together to me.
But then you get into the problem with people saying, well, you're excluding people. Yeah. So, I don't know. It's a tough cookie. I mean, this is the question. Is it, you know, is it the Nintendo 1 or the Nintendo Switch? It's just, it's hard to figure out. That makes zero sense.
Yeah makes zero sense yeah cool well that was the plan it shouldn't make any sense to anybody hey we have two new patrons this month so we have a j and k hola i know who you guys are hello j and k and we also have anthony can you give them some aussie names like we did a couple of episodes ago daryl yeah i mean j and k i mean that's gonna be tough make up some aussie names for them uh jackie and kelvin jackie and kelvin i would have gone like jacko jacko because it's female jackie okay yeah jackie and kelvin jackie and kelvin yeah all right right on and what about anthony tono would you ever say ronno for anthony no ronno it's tony and then you tono it'd be either tono or you'd say something like tenetsis i don't think you would actually you would no that's happened no i guarantee you that there is a tenetsis out there in australia who has a nickname tenetsis it's like you know we we take a utility vehicle and we call it a ute and then we add to that to call it a uterus it's just how australia works if it's too short we lengthen it if it stays too short for too long we lengthen it even though we may have shortened it to start with so we went to a sex party or a house party in sydney many moons ago we've been to a few house parties but the one that i want to talk about is actually not the gross bathroom one it's the one in the mansion by the water you probably have absolutely zero idea what i'm talking about exactly what you're talking about you do yeah why do you remember it just out of curiosity uh because we went there because there were a couple that we found very interesting um and then it and then it ended with that uh it ended with us not doing anything because we all felt concerned about another man in the room who was making everybody feel uncomfortable i'm'm really surprised that you remember that.
So this house party that we went to was in – I remember entering. I remember there was a woman there in a pleated pink and white skirt with an older gentleman standing beside her. The bar was off to the right. You're going to challenge me on visual topics, are you? No, no. She had a giant clitoris. Yeah. A giant clitoris because he showed us.
whole the whole it wasn't the giant clitoris that was the thing it was the fact that the the way he introduced his wife was to lift her skirt yeah and show us her clitoris which was which made it awkward immediately i mean it wasn't an it's not an awkward thing and nobody should be embarrassed about that or they should be happy with it but i mean he just made it fucking weird he did so this was a really really fancy house in north sydney so we arrive at this party and this is why i'm saying having some friends with some nice houses probably not a bad idea if you're thinking about having parties i'm just saying about that but there was it was a beautiful three-story house that had like a pool and it overlooked like this lakey rivery thing looked over fucking sydney harbour it was a very fancy place and they hadn't really done a lot with the decor they just kind of had their normal house decor right and it was just nice to kind of go in there and i remember at the time this was actually i feel like very very early on in our lifestyle journey how what within six months would you say was later than that.
Later than that? Because of the people that we went there to catch up with, we'd known them for some time before we got to that party. But the house party, there wasn't this level of like mingling and everything else. So I remember feeling like a bit of a fish out of water.
Yeah, but there weren't enough people in that house party to make the house feel cosy.'t there wasn't enough people there were 10 maybe 10 couples in a in a house that was huge huge it was a gargantuan house yeah yeah but what i will what i do remember before we get ready to to lead out was daryl mentioned this odd guy and if you've heard the original episode you probably know this in much more detail because i've probably lost a little bit detail along years. But you and I played in front of the fireplace on the fur rug with my vibrator. Yes, but not on you. Yeah, it was on me.
It was just you and I playing and there was a couple sitting on the couch and then a man who kept trying to interact with us. No, that's actually not right. You want to re-listen to the original podcast? Maybe I will. You should? Maybe I will. I reckon you're wrong because I reckon you use the vibrator on her and she actually enjoyed it so much she bought one of her own. Okay. Yeah. So let's see who's long – because long-term memory is totally fucked up. I will. I'll try to find it. I'll try to find it and I'll go listen to it. Yeah.
I'm pretty confident I remember her – because you had a magic – you bought the magic wand with you. Yeah. It was on her. Okay. So it may have started on you but it definitely graduated to her and then she bought one because it was the best – she had an orgasm on the magic wand the first time. We would have played at that party had that – basically there was a guy there and – Just a creepy dude. He was creeping. He's probably the guy who owns the place.
Well, before we head out then – before we head out one of my questions then to you is we told the guy like no we're not interested a couple of times by memory at what point do you think it's the host's responsibility or how do we know that's the same so should we have gone to the host and said hey this is happening this guy's making us feel uncomfortable i would say i mean he could have been the host i don't think we even knew who the host was did we yeah we we met them he wasn't the host so do you think it's our responsibility at that point to tell the host hey this guy's being a creeper well i mean yeah at some point i mean it would have gotten a point sooner or later where he would have got fucking dragged out of there by us anyway yeah i don't think he was he was far away from that.
He was having a pretty good go at it. Yeah. Well, we actually left. But looking back now, I think, had we not been so early in our lifestyle journey, like, I don't know, would we today, if that was happening to us today, would we still just leave? No, I think you'd probably tell him to fuck off. Either way, though, it doesn't matter. It spoils the night. It does spoil the night. It immediately evaporates any sort of sexual energy, having somebody there who is We'll be right back. Either way, though, it doesn't matter. It spoils the night. It does spoil the night.
It immediately evaporates any sort of sexual energy having somebody there who is not meeting your requirements for consent. I mean, even him just looking from the couch was creepy enough. When we'd already said no twice before that. Yeah, and he just sat there and continued to look at us.
I mean, yeah, there was never anything going that moment on yeah yeah i'm just curious about it like i think now yeah i'd be i think a little bit more vocal towards him and yeah that's what i mean you'd tell him to fuck off if he continued on i think then today i would go to the host and say hey this is what's going on this guy's doing that whereas back then we just felt uh awkward and left and didn't really do anything about it yeah um we were the only people playing in the whole fucking house oh there was people playing upstairs in the bedrooms in the private bedrooms probably better idea to do really like because we were playing in a public space but that was because we wanted to except for that creepy guy so i don't know hey guys so that has been the uh how to host a wicked sex party review of swingers help and mixed in with a little bit of everything there.
So thank you very much for listening and we will chat to you again soon from the Netherlands. Perhaps. Maybe. Because, you know, it rains there a lot and Kate doesn't allow us to record when it's raining. You think what? Because people complain. You think that we're going to like run out of raincoats or something? Right. Equipment's going to get wet on the way there. No, I think that you're going to be upset that it's raining outside. The noise is coming through the microphone. You'll be like, oh, we're going to rain. We're going to record today because it's raining. Oh, yeah. That's true.
Yeah, exactly. I know. Coming up next, we are going to have another Q&A quickie session on all things swinging lifestyle. And then we're going to play a game of two lies and one truth sex stories so stick around for that we will chat to you guys soon thanks so much for listening bye
