Wanderlust Swingers – A Swinger Podcast Hotwife Lifestyle Stories
Episode Title: Failures at Being a Swinger; Failed Pool Parties, Ghosting, and More
In this playful yet candid episode, Cate and Darrell tackle the less-than-glamorous side of the swinger lifestyle, where best-laid plans don’t always work out! From a last-minute pool party flop to a local single who ghosted us on a date, we’re digging into what happens when expectations don’t match reality. Join us as we explore how swinging can sometimes go sideways, and how to handle those “swinger fails” with humor and grace.
Episode Highlights:
The Pool Party That Wasn’t: We recount our experience at the last Naked Pool Party of the season at Fata Morgana in the Netherlands. Spoiler alert: the vibes and crowd were a bit different from what we’re used to!
Ghosted and Let Down: We were stood up by a local single Darrell arranged a date with, and we’ll share our take on handling lifestyle no-shows, plus a few laughs about Cate betting Darrell that he’d still try to message afterward.
Finding Our Place in the Lifestyle: How meeting a new, young couple reminded us of our early days and the highs and lows of finding your footing in the scene.
Handling Swinger Fails:
Not every event will be perfect, and that’s okay! We’re here to help you embrace the unpredictability of the lifestyle with some real-life lessons, stories, and tips for bouncing back. Whether you’ve been ghosted, found yourself at a dud event, or just need a reminder to laugh at the unexpected, this episode is all about learning to go with the flow and keep things fun.
Conclusion:
Tune in for the good, the awkward, and the downright hilarious moments that make the lifestyle unforgettable. And, as always, stay tuned for more stories, tips, and adventures from your Wanderlust Swingers team!
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Tags: Swinger Lifestyle, Pool Party Fails, Ghosting in the Lifestyle, Swinger Date Etiquette, Finding Your Tribe, Swingers Community, Lifestyle Realities, Humor in Swinging, Handling Disappointment, Swinger Podcast, Non-Monogamy, Events in the Lifestyle
Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Darrell. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome back to another episode of the Wanderlust Swingers, episode 189. Should I go back to doing star dates or something? I was just about to say it's been a while. Give us a star date, Daryl. No. I haven't thought about it. I need the actual star date. If I'm going to do it from now on in, I'm going to do it properly. Give the actual Stardate. Okay, cool. I don't know what it is. I don't actually run my life from Stardate, believe it or not. I'm not that much of a nerd. I'm a nerd, but not that nerdy.
So today's episode is all about a naked pool party, the finale kind of season for Fatima Gana as a swingers club here in the Netherlands. We get stood up by a local single guy. I make a bet with Daryl. To which you lose. Hold on a second. Tune in to find out who wins. I do. Spoiler. Spoiler. It's not really a spoiler. We're getting back into the swing of things and we met a young couple to the lifestyle and shared some advice with them. Hey, life update. Daryl, did you know that I was in a Dutch documentary? Yes.
We can't understand a damn word because it's all in Dutch and there's no subtitles. No, it's not. It's not in Dutch. The bits you speak are quite plainly in English. The bits I speak are in English. So are the people that you're talking to and talking with. That's correct. Yeah. So the bits you're in are all in English. My claim to fame there is I'm in a Dutch documentary for three minutes. I mean, if you include the background time. It's probably a lot more than that. Yes. Well, yes, actually, your head appears quite a few times in the Dutch documentary. My head is quite noticeable. Yeah.
Given it is lacking follicular. Yes. Nurse. Ossity. That was actually something that was filmed while we were at the Spicy Match Sicily Hotel Takeover. Yeah, which was like a year and a half ago. It's quite some time. I don't know. But yeah, it finally came out on Dutch TV. I'm going to link it in the show notes for anyone who wants to sit there and watch a Dutch documentary. It's easy enough to, you can do the translation. It's not that hard. Yeah. People just do the translation. It's not that hard, guys. Would you like me to do the translation for you?
No, because I'm going to upload it to Vimeo. No, for you. I'm not. Sorry. This wasn't an offer. Sorry. Everybody else on the other end of this mic. It wasn't an offer to everyone. It was an offer to you. No, I'm good. Although our Dutch friends did say that it's actually quite well. They did say that it's very good. Representative. Oh, fuck it. Fine. Yes, please. No, it's too late now. You already said no. Excellent. Good. You're away for three weeks. You're going to Chicago and then you're heading up to... I'm away for a lot more than three weeks.
You're going to Quebec and I'm going to pop up and hang out with you for like 10 days there. It's going to be pretty cold. Do you want to go to a swingers club there? Because we've been to swingers club in Montreal. We haven't been to... Well, I've never been to Quebec City before. Have you? Yes, of course you did. Yeah, you went there for another meeting. I went there for a whole interview thing. Yeah, for a whole thing. So yeah, do you want to go check out one of the clubs there. Yeah, we can. I had a quick look. There's, I think, two or three of them. So, we'll just see what one's hopping.
Hopping? Yeah. Jesus. Well, if it's hopping, I don't think we want to go there. And we'll go check it out. Hey, a segment that I try to do every few episodes is, am I the asshole? I don't actually remember any of this happening in any previous episode. But okay, moving on. Now, if I see something on social media or make a comment or something or whatever, I feel pretty strongly about something. Generally, I want to know, am I the arsehole? So this particular thing... Are you going to ask me this? Yeah.
Fucking hell, this is a dangerous precedent to be setting because anybody who listens to this podcast knows who the arsehole is on the podcast. Yeah, both of us. There's this supposed national swingers event happening in Las Vegas and the person that is running the event reached out to me and said, hey, I really want you to be involved in this. Really keen, actually, can you bring your company and your entire event to our event because then it's going to be, you know, mahoosive. And I thought, hey, I'll have a conversation with this person. And so we set a call and they're in Las Vegas.
So it was my time. I waited up past 7.30 and I waited on the line and they were no show. I waited on the line for like 20 minutes. It's been a lot of no showing going on in our life when it comes to this lifestyle recently. So 7.30 at night, I waited on the phone. This person asked me to meet with them, right? 20 minutes ago. by, I think, fuck it, this is all I'm dedicating to that. I sent an email and I'm like, hey, what's up? Like, are you dead? You're having a bad day? Did you die? I got shot. But did you die? He asked to reschedule. I said, sure.
Since I met you outside of my business hours, why don't we flip it a little bit and you can kind of come early and, you know, you meet at 7.30 a.m. your time, which is like 4.30 my time. And he turned around and he said, fuck it, don't worry about it, it's too hard. Here's my thoughts. Fuck that guy. Am I the asshole? I mean, no. Why would you think that? I'm saying because now I'm pretty firm on it. Now, like, I sort of got if this person... You're now a little militant, you might say. Yeah, if this guy contacts me again, I'm going to be like, nah, dude.
Because somebody didn't turn up to a meeting then was not willing to accommodate any sort of movement in their timeline to accommodate your time zone. Yeah, they're happy to inconvenience me, but not their way around. Get the fuck out. People thinking about themselves. Yeah, anyway. This is crazy talk. So now... now. Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy, right? Babe. Okay, so let's move this. Let's do a linear comparison here. Single guy, the one we're about to talk about, sent a message. Yeah, yeah. Saying what the day before? Oh, it was a day off anyway. It was a day off. You're jumping ahead.
Okay, yeah, no, I am because I'm making a fucking comparison here to see. This is an easy one to write off when you look at a single guy who did exactly the same thing. Yeah. And then you say, well, I'm not going to see him again.
So why the fuck is it any different for everyday life this is business potentially it gives a fuck if somebody's going to be a dick that doesn't mean whether they're a dick in business or a dick out of business they're just dick so we won't be attending this supposed amazing las vegas event because um fuck that guy let's move on new dating site message this one was really nice so this one says quick note just want to say thank you very much for the amazing um youtube oh that's nice on the boudoir it was really helpful and definitely got us excited for our visit which was really nice And then a single man sent us, bet you fuck your missus hard.
Okay. So I'm guessing that was for me. Was it? Well, I guess so. Should I get on there and respond? Yeah. This is a 37-year-old man and- Never heard of Hull. Where the fuck is Hull? It's overseas, but- Yeah, I know of it. No, I mean, I know which country of origin it's in. I'm just curious as to where the fuck it is in that country. I'm guessing bumfuck nowhere. The UK. It's in the UK. I'm just trying to figure out where Hull is in the UK. Anyway, so yeah, bet you fuck your Mrs. Hard. Just out of curiosity, do you fuck your Mrs. Hard, Daryl? What would you say?
Well, I mean, I think I'd go all right. You'd go all right? I think so. What would you say? Like, bet you fuck your Mrs. Hard. What's your answer to that? Yeah. Fuck yeah. My answer is... No, fuck yeah, dude. That's what my answer is. I fuck her hard. Fuck yeah. Right, so we went to the finale, the kind of closing party of the season for a local club here in the Netherlands. And, you know, on Sundays they have pool parties during the summer season and we went to the final one. And I was actually pretty excited to go because we normally don't go to the daytime stuff. Correct.
Having said that, though, we did toss it up because it was like 150 euro. It was quite a lot of money. And we thought, hmm, do we really want to like go and take a gamble? But I thought it's going to be an amazing contest. party and I was like super excited. Although you did tell me I was wearing way too much pink that day. Yeah, you were very Barbie. You had your Barbie on. I had everything pink on. Yeah, I know. But you've also gone back to wearing like big bottom britches for your swimmers now. I don't know why that is.
Went through a phase of like small stuff and now you've gone back to things that are full coverage. Are you talking about my ultra cheeky branded bikini that I have? Because I will bring that out. I think you're forgetting what I was wearing that day. Okay. Okay. Ultra cheeky, huh? Because you told me it was too inappropriate to wear a Malta. Oh, it's a very Catholic country. Yeah, but hold on. You're telling me that they're two big britches and now you're telling me, wait a second, those exact same big britches were so inappropriate that you can't wear them other places.
Yeah, surprisingly, the difference between a super Catholic beach and a, basically a nude swingers pool party, there seems to be some variance in that line. Yeah, okay. Anyway, so we went to this pool party and I was super excited thinking DJ Sunshine, it was actually quite quite hot that day. I was really excited. It was fucking hot actually. It was so good but we did the right thing and we kind of sat in the shade like we do. That's because I force you to do that. Let's be honest. Let's make the listeners aware of who the problem is here.
I take you to the sunny beaches and then make you lay in the shade. That's true. So I was, anyway, suffice to say I was very, very excited and in my head I was thinking we're going to find someone to fuck outside in the sunshine. It's going to be great. I am not getting my ass burnt for anyone. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. Lies. No, not lies. So anyway, suffice to say I was pretty excited, right? Yes. Now, here's what I want to talk about.
So the pool party itself, and we'll talk about, we met a young couple there, we'll chat about them in a second, but what I noticed at this particular pool party was a vastly different crowd than we see at that same club of a night time. Yep. And it got me thinking whether or not people, like you would choose your vibe or your tribe when you go to particular events, maybe you want some more EDM, maybe one younger crowd, an older crowd, drugs, whatever you're looking for. It kind of made me think that maybe people do that, like there's different creatures that come out during the day.
There's different people, daytime and nighttime. Yeah. It's almost like some people want to spend their day laying in the sun and other people don't. Yeah, but here's my question. It's always like some people are hungover from the night before and can't make it. And I'm going to try to say this as politically correct as I can. Why? But the nighttime party – we would find a significantly more attractive and more interesting crowd and around our age. What I saw in the daytime party, I mean, we were in the kind of like 10% youngest people in the crowd, I would say.
We were certainly on the edges of the bell curve. Yeah. Yes. And by the way, there were people who were younger than us who were on the fringe of the edge of the bell curve. L01%ers, yeah. No, 0.05%. I mean, there were some people. There were probably three couples that were younger than us. Yes, correct. I would say that. Hold on a second. How many couples do you think were there that day? 150. 150 couples or 150 people? Yes. 75. 70 couples. 75 to 80. 70 to 80. Yes, couples that were there. And there was three you think that maybe younger than us.
I'm going to be generous and I'm going to say five. No, that's not correct. Okay, three that were younger than us. I counted them. It wasn't. I didn't need the same. take my fucking shoes off to make the count. Yeah. I could do it on one hand. And I mean, we're not spring chickens anymore. Like I'm 39, you're 49. Whoa. I am still very springy and chicken-like. In terms of the people that were at the event, us being young is very surprising to me. Well, yeah. So tell me why do you think, okay, so here's my observation.
I think that daytime people is always going to be, not always, well, fuck it, I don't know. I'm going to make this statement. Daytime parties, I'm going to say, can swing either way. You can either have super young people that love to like day drink and just kind of go all the way through. No, I think that's – Which is kind of what I was hoping for. That's not the case because they're all still hung over from the night before. Right. So you're going to say every single daytime party is going to have an older demographic. Unless it is a longer time event. Like a four-day.
Like a two-day or three-day or five-day or whatever. Yes, that's my take on it. But average – Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Interesting, interesting. Okay, so I ask you a question. What time did you start partying when you were in your 20s? When did you go out? Because you would have drinks at home. Maybe midnight? Yeah. So now I ask you another question. Yeah. What would you do if somebody said to you today, we're going to meet at the club at midnight? I would get a nap nap in. You would be asleep. I would get a nap nap. You would not fucking recover. I would get a nap nap in.
go to, you'd be like, oh, midnight club. Okay. I like the idea. We did that in Cupdog. I'm going to have a nap. I'm going to have a nap and that'll be amazing. And then you'll wake up and go, you know what? It's fucking 11 o'clock. I might go back to sleep. Okay. So aside from the age difference, I also noticed a vastly different body shape, you know, difference as well. So when we went there and again, I had this, I don't know what it was. I had this like grand idea of fucking in the sun and it's going to be amazing. We'd be some people and we just like fuck and gel and it'd be amazing.
Well, you didn't tell me any of this. I just... I did. I actually had that conversation with you because you actually explicitly said to me, don't get your fucking hopes up. And then at the event you're like, this is why. Yeah. This is why you don't have expectations. Being a... Sometimes being a realist just works by... It just works. Yeah. Yeah. So you're going to say by and large a daytime party would suit a particular kind of person but... Not necessarily what I was looking for. People who are looking forward to an early night. Okay, but what about the age, size, shape, et cetera?
People who are looking forward to an early night. Okay, great. You know, 5.30 dinner, 6 o'clock dinner. Yeah. You know? It doesn't scream fucking 18, 21-year-old, does it? I don't want that. No, I know, but you know what I mean. It's not like this is – it's called the pensioner dinner in Australia for a reason. It's 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock. You know, that's when older people tended to eat their dinner. So I would say it was a little bit. By the way, I don't fucking care that you do that. I don't have any problem with that at all.
The thing that I find hilarious is that you think that daytime parties attract people who have been partying all night. No, you're starting to party during the day. No, but this is the thing. People who have been partying all night the night before, you're not factoring in the night before. Okay. Nobody wants to wake up after partying until 30. 3am, 4am the night before, go to an event at what? What time is it open? Midday. Yeah, I think so. So you're going to get up. So you're going to get four hours sleeping.
You're then going to get up, pay 150 fucking euro to go to a place to lay beside a pool. Which brings me to my next point. So I was a little bit disappointed at the potential options that were displayed in front of me. What do you think is some of the biggest differences in the vibes between the day and night parties at events? Like what... If you were going to try and tell somebody and define the vibe difference between a daytime party, like you said, we're talking about one day, one night, one club, not a longer term, you know, like a hotel takeover, a resort takeover.
How would you explain to somebody the vibe difference between day and night? Well, one's a party and one's a group of people laying near a pool. That's the best way I can describe it. A night party away from a pool, as an example. Now, the idea of a pool...
pool party during the day is very it's very isolated because the beds that you lay on are separated generally right people don't get up and move around like they would at a party after when it's when there's a dance floor and a you know so don't get me wrong if there was a dance floor maybe at the pool party that might change things you might get people dancing but people don't tend to dance during the day when it's beating down fucking sun that's not a thing you know and also somewhat less attractive out of that is the idea that people are just sweating away on a dance floor potentially or even just laying down and then you want to have sex with them.
I mean that's really quite fucking gross to me. Actually the thing that grossed me out the most about that whole fucking daytime pool activity thing is the people who didn't show the common courtesy of showering before they got into the fucking pool. Well hold on let's back it up a little bit because there was actually a couple there because we did the whole look around and who would you fuck? Like face value, who would you fuck? And there was a couple there that you said, that couple. Yeah, there were a few couples there that I said that about.
What ultimately turned you off on wanting to approach that couple? They had sex beside the pool or out of the pool and then they got straight into the pool. Yeah. Without showering or anything. Yeah. I have a fucking problem with that. It came all over her chest at one point and then they just got into the pool. They just got into the pool and fucking washed it off. That's not cool, man. No. That's not cool. Don't get me wrong, I have no issue at all swimming around in a fucking cum lake. because I've certainly been there before. But that has come at it in pool.
You know, like when people are – because let's be fair, if you're at a swingers – You're under no disillusion that there's not a form of bodily fluid. Exactly. If you're at a swingers event and you're in a pool all day, both male and female are going to get horny enough that there may be some excretion happening, right? That's just the fucking reality of it. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with the personality. The blatant. No, it's the personality that backs the idea that I can just – fucking stream come over someone and then wander into the pool to wash it off.
It's like turning up to my bathtub and just jerking off in it. That's basically what it is. The dude just turned up. He jerked off into my tub and then I was forced to get into it. No, I'm out. That's not a thing. That's not fair. That's not fair? It's not fucking fair. It's not fair. Just don't be – I mean, just take a token shower. The shower is within fucking two metres. Yeah, take a token shower. Just fucking just. Pretend to wash it off. Just flap your hands at your bits for five seconds and then get in. Wash the ass crack sweat out is the other thing.
Can I also say though, going back to Cup Dog, that is something that we were delighted to see happened in Cup Dog. There was a lot of. Pre and post showering going on. A lot of pre and post showering. And so maybe this is a result of. Well, the women only ever showered their vagina. Yeah, but again. That's it. But my point is this. That's it. We've seen that activity in that version of like the correct etiquette when you're fucking poolside and then you go into the pool. Nobody went into the fucking pool. Some people did. It's so rare. But I mean, that's the correct etiquette.
So why do you think that's failed at this one? What's going on there? Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck. It's a fucking daytime pool party. What the fuck? The daytime pool parties that can't go off. Yeah. With people that I would want to fucking. Yeah, but I think, again, you're factoring in the multi-day thing. Okay, right. I'll stop talking about that. Then that makes sense. So you're talking about.
multi-day when you're talking about a singular fucking daytime okay pool party it just doesn't work yeah it doesn't attract people who are more willing to more interested in having a big night both pre and post i have a question for you i actually really want to try the other clubs sunday pool party next season cool would you be like i'm interested in finding you a single man to go with you to this well maybe there's a difference in the cleontel you know what i mean but maybe that is just a different kind of client that they get that one versus the other one.
You won't even remember this summer next year, so it's not a problem. Yes, I'll do it. You'll do it? Yes, because you won't remember this summer next year. No, I'm not shaking shit. Fine. Before we kind of wrap this up, would you say that there were more nudists on a Sunday pool party on average at a swingers club? No, it's just that it appears more like a nudist group because there's no interaction between people. Okay. Because there's no fucking beds beside each other. There's nothing – there's no way to interact.
You have to – literally stand up, walk over to somebody and sit on the edge of their bed. Yeah. Like a fucking chomp. Intrusive, isn't it? Well, I mean, what if you get there and they fucking hate you? You've just sat down. You've just fucking sat down on the end of their bed and they're looking at you going. Get off. We met a very young couple there. We did. Well, very new and quite young. Yeah. So they sat next to us and they built the courage up to start a conversation. Later they did tell us it took them half an hour to an hour to build the courage up.
They also built the courage up to offer you a little kiss kiss. They did. This particular couple though, they've been in the lifestyle for... Two weeks. Two weeks. I think it was two weeks. Two weeks in the lifestyle. They've been talking about it for quite some time, but they only just started, yeah. So when we're talking to this young couple, they made a funny comment kind of midway through the conversation. They started asking us a bunch of questions, how long we've been in the lifestyle for. Once they found out how long, they were just asking us all the questions.
It was like an interview panel. Halfway through, they said to us, so if you guys have been in the lifestyle for 10 years, like why are you sitting in here under the shade and like why aren't you out in the middle of the way like peacocking? Because they assumed that anyone out there is who's probably going to be like more expensive and maybe by us sitting in the shade, no. More expensive? More experience and that by us sitting in the shade we were kind of shy and newbies as opposed to two things.
One, we were protecting ourselves from getting skin cancer but two, I don't think I would have wanted to be out in the middle of my life. That was not my scene. That was not my vibe. I thought that was a really funny observation. There were no beds out there either. You'd have to lay in the pool. I did think that was a little bit of a funny, just a funny tie-in that they were like, wait a second. Oh, I didn't. Why aren't you guys out there? Didn't remember that at all. But yeah, they were brand new and asking us an absolute shit ton of questions. Yeah, they were lovely though.
They were lovely, yeah. Yeah, I really enjoyed our time with them. We gave them our number. Well, he's my age, I think, and she's another 10 years younger than me, which means she 20 years younger than you. Do you think that she would have been the youngest person there then? Yes. I think fucking yes. Yeah. Okay. No, she was definitely the youngest there. I think she was 26-ish, right? Something around that mid-20s. Yeah. She would have been the youngest there by a long shot. Yeah, yeah.
Other young couple or youngish, you know, sort of more toward our age that we were looking at originally, the one that flooded his wife's back with semen and then rinsed her off in the pool. That guy... They were... I think they're my age. They were, yeah, sort of late 30s, I would say. So they were by far the... She was by far the youngest person there. I think they actually did say to us, like, oh, what is it normally like on a nighttime party?
Yeah, well, I certainly was not holding back in saying that this is a very different group of individuals to what you see in this club normally because they hadn't been to the club during the night. So they didn't understand what it was like. So I said it's just a very different group to what you would see normally. Yeah, but what do you guys think? Send us an email, email at wandellastswickers.com. Let us know. Do you think there is an inherent difference for a singular daytime party for a daytime versus nighttime party at a club? How many people go to a singular daytime party? I don't know.
Fuck all is my guess. There's a few locations around the UK and the US that do have like daytime stuff, mainly obviously in the summer. Yeah, no shit because you fucking freeze your ass off at the winter.
But hey, maybe if you don't want to go out and dance during the night, time maybe if that's the more relaxing kind of vibe of chill is more your scene like that's where it's at do it find a daytime party or just go to any beach anywhere in the world yeah well because there's about as much going on at those beaches as there is at that daytime party yeah that's right there was actually people sitting in the playroom area like just sitting there because yeah because it's fucking daytime right we got stood up so you had arranged a single guy. Stood up's a big call. I'm going to say stood up.
You had arranged a single guy. You didn't even get dressed yet, so you can't call it stood up. Emotionally, I was at the date. Okay. By the way, you took a look at our profile again. Hold on a sec. So back it up though. I knew nothing about this and you had only just mentioned like, hey, there's a date. Yes. Tell me about finding the guy, vetting the guy, blah. So you found him on a local date, on a local dating site. Yeah. And he's Dutch? Yes. Okay. And you... whittled away at the prospects and picked him. I found 30 people and he was the last one who remained.
And then he sent you a message on the day? No, he didn't. I sent him a message on the day because I always send him, send them a message on the day saying, are we still good for today? And by the way, that was at 3 p.m. I'm going to say is when I got a response from him. I sent the message at like 10 a.m. But 3 p.m. is when I got the response. The response was, sorry, no, blah, something work, can't come. Yeah. Which was his way of saying, I have a wife or a girlfriend. Or I don't want to go because I'm not interested in you anymore. No, no, that's not what it is.
Because there's a lineup of men out there who are like, geez, you know, it's just too boring to go out and potentially get fucking laid. That's not what's happening. They're just going, I've overcommitted here because I have to now tell somebody in my life that I care about, whoever that is, It might be their mum. I don't know. Whatever it is, there's something else going on there where they're like, oh, yeah, I just can't. I just don't wish to go. The idea that it's an actual work thing is fine if it's followed up. Well, hold on. This gets on to my bet. So he says, I can't come.
And this is hours, like I said, five hours after you sent him the text, are you still coming kind of thing. And I said to you, nah, I reckon he does have something on for work. And I reckon we're going to hear from him tomorrow to reset the date up. And I bet you. So he's got something on from work that has run from, that he has only found out about on the day. Let's specify this, right? He's found out about this on the day. Yep. He has not sent a response to me for five hours. Yep. Right? And then he hasn't added to that conversation, I'm sorry, can you do this day?
Well, you were jumping ahead again. No. Because I bet. you 20 bucks that he would, he would contact us. Yeah. And the next day maybe talk about rescheduling and you said, absolutely not. So we made that $20 bet. Um, I'm currently out of pocket 20 bucks. It's been months. It's been fucking months. Well, it's been a month. We're no longer waiting for this guy to text us back. No, because he looked at our profile again on the, on the dating site. The reason, the reason this happened, my guess is, is he's hunting again and he's fucking gone to our profile and go, Oh shit, Can't talk to those guys.
I remember that I told them I couldn't come because of work. Right. So your point is that had he followed up immediately during that, like, guys, something come up. I hate to do this. Can we reschedule? When are you free? I'll work around your schedule or whatever. I mean, so the apology is one thing, but to actually show you're interested, you've got to show you're interested. You know, he's been vetted through the process until now. And by the way, one of the conversation pieces I had with him before this is that I said – 90% of men just don't show up. And he did exactly what 90% of men did.
He just didn't show up, basically. So he knows where I stand on it. And frankly, at this point, because he hasn't even spoken, he doesn't need to know where you stand on it. He just has to assume that my word is law. Is there anything he could do right now? Like if he texted you today, is there anything he could do right now to get back in your good graces? No. Absolutely not. He's done. He's done. Well, that was $20. The thing about this, and I was going to share my number one top tip for avoid being stood up in person, physically stood up. And you already mentioned it.
We've mentioned it a bunch of times on other podcasts, but it's checking in on the day. Yeah, but then sometimes people don't even respond to that. But that's what I'm saying. But the amount of times, over the past 10 years, how often do you think we have sent that on the day message and we've either had no response or somebody cancelled? Just as a side note, lots. I would say 80% of the time. So 30 dates, 40 dates? Yeah, at least 30. So that has saved me 30 or 40 times getting ready for absolutely fucking no reason. Except for your husband, of course. Brilliant. Except for your husband.
Well, we actually did go out that night. Of course we went out that night because I'm worth it, Kate. I know you are. Yeah. Daryl. Even getting dressed, you know, like I'm worth it for you to do your hair occasionally, shave your legs. Your ass is going to be munch. Do I have to shave my big toe as well? I mean, depends on whether you want to look like that dude who carries a ring around. or not? And Gollum. No, not Gollum. That's my number one tip. Check in. And I reckon that has saved us so many wasted hours just faffing about. Yep. Wondering whether people are going to come. Yeah.
It's pretty shit, I have to say out loud. For the love of God, I did the 12 ways to get into Kate's pants one Christmas. Mm-hmm. They haven't fucking changed. Well, somebody asked us to review those, actually. Why? Somebody asked us to see if they were different now. No, they haven't changed. They're still the same. Now, this is – I feel – Ultimately, just like all of the books out there, they just say don't be a dick. Yeah. I think this has been quite a negative episode, I've got to be honest. Like, we've kind of failed at pool party. We've had a failed date.
How do you think you – like, the lifestyle's not all rainbows, lollipops and orgasms. How do you think you kind of carry on when you've had – I would say that 40 to 50% of the lifestyle is – Yeah, like wasted time, wasted energy. Yeah, of course. Money lost. But this is no different with friendship. Yeah. You spend a lot of time trying to find friends that meet your expectations.
And when I say expectations, I don't mean there's a tick box, but, you know, you want people who are interested in you, you're interested in them friendship-wise, you're interested in what they do, they have some, at least they pretend they're interested or they'll listen to you, right? Yeah. to actually give a shit about the fact that you, I don't know, like sandwiches. So what's your top tips then on people out there listening who might be newer to the lifestyle and are like, this sounds all horrible, to stay positive?
Well, I mean, just remember that like we did, the worst case scenario is that I get to go on a lovely dinner date with my wife. That's the worst case scenario. Yep. So it's still a pretty good thing if you like your wife, of course, or part. or whatever, whoever they are to you. Yes. And if you don't, then we should have a different conversation. Yeah. But if you do, then, yeah, that's the worst thing that could possibly happen is you get stuck with the person you care about. Yeah. Or. Oh, no. 50% of the time you have a really fucking great night and meet new people and it's all fantastic. So.
Yeah. And sexy and exciting and all the rest of it. So you've got to take the good with the bad. Yes. Absolutely. A little bit that way, I think. But, I mean, part of it, I think, shouldn't be discounted here as well that although we didn't get to meeting this guy, the lead up is still exciting and fun and sexually charged and interesting. You know, like this, this is something that also can translate to a more interesting or different or whatever sex life for yourselves. Yeah.
And I guess if you take the pool party as an example, as well as kind of a failed situation for us, but realistically, if you went there and you were flaunting yourself naked and walking around and feeling really comfortable and flirting with your partner and just being naked in that environment. Like that's a win too, right? If you look from that, from that side of it. Yeah. So yeah, there's still, there's still some positives, you know, silver lining, I guess. Hey, next episode, we are going to talk about fucking in public at a sex convention.
So that one's going to be ever so slightly more positive in a maze. What? I'll listen into the next episode, but until next time, guys, please do us a favor. If you haven't subscribed, please do subscribe, rate and follow us on social media. Thanks very much, Neryl. No problem. I'm here all week. Yeah. Try the turkey. You're actually not. No, I'm here some of the week. You're kind of Germany. Try the turkey. Try the pork knuckle. You're here all week, try the pork. Oh, fuck, I will try the... I'm not there long enough. Suck it. I'd be such a huge fat bastard if I lived in Germany. Yeah.
All the cartofil. Just all the things. Cartofil and the diverse. Gravy. Pork knuckle. Yeah. I mean, I'm just describing basically injecting fat straight into my... ass at this point. Yeah, that's true. Pork knuckle is so good. I mean, I'm stereotyping here, Germany. I know you've got a whole lot of other things you eat as well. I was also about to... It's not just fucking sauerkraut and verse. I was about to stereotype them even more. Do you think Germans obviously turn up on time to dates and... Fuck yeah, they do.
Some stereotypes can be reinforced positively and fucking A, they'll be there on time. That has been the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. Really appreciate you guys listening. And if you're German... Thanks for being you, man. Please send us a recipe. Thanks for being you. Send us a recipe. I'd love to be able to cook more interesting German food. There's some really cool stuff out there. There is. I know we're getting off track, but that goulash that we had that time in that little crazy little village. It's fantastic. Hey, this is not a food channel, though.
Let's cut it out and we'll see you guys later. Bye. you
