EP99 – Swinging Around Dallas

Transcript

You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. G'day guys and welcome to episode 99, Swinging Around Dallas. This is a production of Iowa Public Television.

happy and horny join our international swinging adventures g'day guys and welcome to episode 99 swinging around dallas this episode is all about our time over christmas and years of course hanging out with our friends jay and angie from the average swingers we share a little bit about what we did over new years which was go to the colette swingers club in dallas we also went to a mingle event we went to a basketball game we just kind of shoot the shit just talking about everything that we did over that break so i really hope that you enjoy this more casual version of swinging down under it's just four friends kind of just talking about everything that we did over that break so i hope you guys had a fantastic christmas had a fantastic new year's drop us an email cnd at swinging down under.com tell us your stories and the reason i'm saying that is because we have a couple of upcoming episodes that may be of interest to you.

One of them is the top 10 epic swinger club fails. Daryl and I are going to go back and we're going to rehash the last five years and we are going to show you and talk to you guys about the top 10 epic swinger club fails that we have had over the past five years.

So that's upcoming episode that we're excited to share we're also going to be talking about my single guy date in miami a spoiler alert if you are part of our patreon you'll already know this but i did actually play solo in miami for the first time where daryl has not previously played with the people involved or even spoken to them so we have an episode coming up all about that if you're part of patreon we have been sharing the audio that daryl sent about his fantasy and i wrote a blog about it as well so just check that out if you get the chance to we also have an upcoming episode with an interview with secrets resort secrets hideaway resort in orlando florida of course i just got back from a trip going down to florida and i stopped by secrets so i'm going to share my interview with actually aaron the marketing manager over there at secrets i'm going to talk about my experience as well so that's another podcast that's coming up now while i was in dallas i did actually lose a sex toy and i just want to give a shout out and a big thank you to casual toys they came to the rescue they have a new replacement sex toy on the way for me so thank you so much to casualtoys.com if you guys want to jump on board you can actually get 20 off casual toys by using the code sdu casual toys of course is owned by casual swinger podcast i do also go and check out mickey and mallory if you guys get the chance but i did want to give a little bit of a shout out and a little bit of love to those guys thank you so much for coming to my aid i lost a sex toy at new year's and i'm pretty caught up about it but luckily i have a replacement coming ever so soon all the way over from the u.s to singapore and i can't thank you guys enough for you know just kind of replacing and coming to my uh you guys are like i don't know swinger god godparents or something like that so cheers for that guys really appreciate it and of course my next trip to the states i am home but our next trip is going to be podcaster palooza i am beyond excited to tell you guys i just got back from my trip in miami i had quite a few meetings with the hotel in miami management our entertainment trip there i went actually i went to a prop warehouse which is super fucking cool to go to a props warehouse and i came back with some great updates you know i got a lot of floor plans.

I'm getting everything sorted. Podcasterpalooza is now at 80% sold out, you guys. So I'm so excited to share with you what the event's all about. I've kept a lot of the stuff that I've been arranging kind of under cloak and dagger kind of thing. I don't really want to share too much about it because we have a lot of secrets that are happening only on site. Now, for those of you out there who can't attend because of geographical reasons, time of the year, financial situation, don't worry, I've got you covered. We are going to be actually sharing a lot of Podcasterpalooza on social media.

So definitely come and check Swinging Down Under on all of our social media accounts on Twitter and Instagram, but also come and check out Podcasterpalooza as well because we are going to be sharing a lot of the go-lives, a lot of the videos and stuff on the Podcasterpalooza account. But if you can't join us, don't fret. We're also going to be doing some special audio and things of that nature to get you guys involved because we appreciate it. We get it. It's in Miami. You know, not everybody can be there.

You guys are all around the world, so we are going to actually share a lot of the information, a lot of the seminars, a lot of the audio from Podcast to Palooza, as well as videos that we can share, so keep a lookout for that, we really are excited about the people that are coming, like I said, we're 80% sold out, if you guys are interested in joining us, just head to podcast-a-palooza.com, and you'll be able to actually join the last few rooms that are available in Miami. That's, of course, in May this year. So it's coming up less than five months. Super excited.

And of course, I want to give a shout out. Thank you so much to our Patreon members. We've lost a few this month, but we've also gained a few. So we're back at 50. So thank you so much, guys. We really appreciate all of your support. It does mean a hell of a lot to us.

of the patreon members have been there for every year so since we kind of started the patreon account the new members uh for this month uh is adonis for aphrodite uh random vloggism we've got anarchy girl and tb12345 thank you so much for joining the patreon account for swinging down under we really do appreciate the shit out of you guys thank you very much it's actually how we're putting together our upcoming studio so really excited by that but look i'm gonna get into the podcast episode now so again this is a four friends shooting the shit having a good time i hope you enjoyed there's a lot of fun a lot of laughs and a lot of just random randomness that you would come to expect from jangie and kate and daryl getting together so i hope you guys are having a great 2020 so far and i look forward to hearing from all of you thank you so much we'll chat to you soon all right let's get this thing going so welcome to episode unknown this is kate this is daryl oh this is um star date 126.3 recurring uh we're joined by some average motherfuckers from dallas texas welcome we're no longer swingers motherfuckers average i've been a motherfucker for a long time ever since we first started having sex i was a motherfucker i know good boy that's a good point that's actually better balance yeah it's weird do you introduce ourselves?

And do you think they've already figured it out? Jay. Angie. I'm pretty sure they've already figured it out. Welcome. Welcome. We're going to talk about our trip to Texas and our trip to Dallas. That's what we're talking about today. But let's kick it off with Daryl. How was your flight over? And your drive? How was it all? Daryl just woke up.

Your flight over and the right flight from from singapore yeah dude well i mean it's fucking 20 hours in a plane it's balls that's what it is wait didn't you guys stop in china for yeah we stopped in china for eight hours and spent four hours sleeping in a hotel that was basically all we did um it was cold though right you said it was snowing it was yeah it was snowing on the one the way to and from the airport in the cab we saw snow I don't know. I don here. Good job, good job. One was that we stopped at Bucky's. So we got Texas barbecue within one and a half hours of landing here.

Good job, good job. I figured that was a pretty big accomplishment. And the other thing, we saw deer. Five deers. I'm sorry, by we, you mean whom? I thought deer all saw and you didn't. Yeah, no, that's exactly right. No, I still saw them. He just pointed them out first. Oh, okay, okay. So, what did you learn about deer? Oh, my God. Do you know anything about deer? Doe is a female deer and Ray is a drop of golden sun. She's forgotten already. Yeah, alcohol will do that to her. It just washes it. I want to help her, I want to help her. No. I know. They shed, they're antlers.

They're antlers shed. You just don't want to talk about that anymore. Was that a Kate's voice? Antlers? I don't know. Maybe if you go back and listen, sure. So, it's been a fucking good week, but you're alright, Daryl. We've been drinking and eating and drinking and eating and partying Thank you.

i don't know uh maybe if you go back and listen sure so it's been a fucking good week but you're all right daryl we've been drinking and eating and drinking and eating and partying and drinking and eating and partying pretty sure we slept a couple of days we did sleep some well i certainly every time someone put a weighted blanket on me i was fucking out to it and you bought me a weighted blanket for christmas hip blanket this whole not working thing is the jam. If you can organize this not working thing, this is the way to go. I think we all agree on that. I agree. Yep.

Although we'd all become raging alcoholics. Well, no, we'd run out of money first. Yeah. True story. Yeah. We all can't live off Angie's salary. No, we cannot. Not all four of us. Bitch, you need two jobs. Not the way we're drinking us Angie go and get my work Prostitution is working for you guys though right From what I hear Anal work only It's really starting to get banged up Back there though I'm good giving out handies I'm not willing to take the back door. You got to sit crisscross applesauce? We spoke something about handies this week, actually.

I don't know whether you guys remember, but Kate professed that she gives a great handjob. Without lube, right? Without lube. Yeah, greatest handjob ever without lube. I didn't say greatest ever. I had to burst a bubble. She just said great handjob. She said, I give a great handjob when Daryl wakes up in the morning. Or something along those lines. I personally prefer Daryl. Let's change the topic. It's like, let's get back on track. If you're sweating, you can take that shirt off. It's really fucking hot. I have the oven on. It's because I put this vest on. Red meat. Jay's naked.

I'm going to keep bringing this shit back angie how'd you feel about christmas day it was good tell me tell me about your christmas day i was a little worried about the food because i had no control over it but you know it turned out really really good so now i have a new level of trust a new level of trust and you had just for you guys in food not your vegemite though you're you're going to take that with you right no how was your chicken and chicken and uh chicken and champagne though chicken and champagne breakfast with waffles well we americanized it a little bit yeah we did we fucked up that tradition fucked up that australian tradition ever so slow we just took an australian one and an american one and we just smooched them together yeah it was pretty was pretty good.

It was pretty good. I like that. Chicken and champagne. Chicken and champagne. We can say chicken, waffle, and champagne now. Yeah, we had to get rid of the champagne somehow. But breakfast started out good. Breakfast was good. Lunch was good. Presents. We went to Bar Louie. We went to Bar Louie. For the first time. Yes. We've been three times now. Only three times. Gosh. I feel like we're slacking. All right.

Oh, sorry yes christmas yes great the mimosas let us know how the rest of the week was going to go because we killed two bottles of champagne within like 30 minutes no time at all yes that was a fair statement it's a good prelude yep that's breakfast dude it's a good meal of the day you know what do you have for breakfast i think so far we went through um eight bottles of champagne yep and and fair to say two and a half handles of vodka pretty sure that that uh handle yeah two and up handles but i think that last handle is almost done so we could say three okay three handles of potatoes wait wait and two handles of the uh lemon let me just go over there and skull that last bottle, that last handle, just to get rid of it.

Sure. It'll work. No, fuck that. My liver can't handle it. You won't make it to dinner. My liver can't handle it. I'll be lucky if I make it to dinner at this point. All you have to do is sit at the table. I'll put a plate in front of you. Well, at this point, it's looking like that's a struggle thing. I might just fall face first into like a fresh roast meat thing. Nom. I'll tell you what I like about Christmas Day. I liked later getting back from Bar Louie and making the gingerbread houses. And playing games. Oh, the gingerbread houses were fun.

That's how you get ants exactly definitely how you get ants we introduced jay and angie into a little thing that that we like to call let's make stuff and get drunk on a timer we're working on the name recording us i think us and kelsey were the ones making the thing yeah yeah jay was watching from the sidelines just working on the getting drunk and Kelsey was like, I don't want to drink yet. I'm not done yet. I was killing it. She was not playing fair. She was refusing to play. No, she was taking it seriously. Yeah, the gingerbread part, yes, not the drinking part.

Takes a village to make a village, apparently. It takes a village to make a gingerbread fuck-up. Oh, we did play board games. I was about to say say i just remembered that we sat down and we played um cards against humanity yep yes for a while that was fun it was fun too we also played uh well you guys did it we played horrified and um you took a nap because you were falling asleep on the couch i did take a nap i took a nap ski miss what mysterium yeah yeah i think we might have played catchphrase the night before the night before we got in we got in.

I'm only bringing it up because Kate just kept me upset that she couldn't fucking win. She was not taking it well. No, she didn't. That made me a little bit upset. Plus, I didn't understand how the points actually worked on the little thingy, and I still really don't understand the concept of how the points work on the thingy. You just press the button. You just press the button and it adds a point. Exactly. She is not rocket science. Complex as fuck. You also like Jackbox TV. I do like Jackbox TV. We played that with the kids.

And then for Christmas, we got a really special gift, which included a T-shirt and a set of tickets. Absolutely. To go see our very first basketball game. Your very first. My very first basketball game. Yeah. I've played basketball for many years. NBA? It certainly wasn't my first. Was it your first NBA game? It was my first NBA game in attendance, yes. Yeah, dude, shut the fuck up. I'm just helping. I'm not knocking it down. I'm just saying. We've seen many of basketball. My first NBA game, I was excited too. Yeah, it was cool. So we went to the game. We barely won though, didn't we?

Barely won.

I was a little bit worried for a piece there i was like i can't come to my first game and not win yeah we did learn that you can't fail on dp from behind though you can unless you're dp you got it backwards dude you're fucking it up it was a lot of fun um and then we got a shirt and i got a hat and then we went to a bar and then we came back and then we went to another bar and then we struck up a conversation with vanilla people about how many people are involved in an orgy and that then included when we learned that jay does not know the definition of an orgy whereas everybody else including vanilla people in the room did y'all are wrong i mean just jay didn't want to um make his experiences less I think that's what it is.

I don't want to listen to less in an orgy. They're special. I've only been in a couple. No, he hasn't. Whereas six of them, I've been in a whole fucking shitload of things. They're not so special anymore. So I think he's bragging a little bit. I think he's bragging a little bit. That was definitely a humble brag. Yes, humble brag. Yeah. Yes, it was. Just trying to put a point. What point? Nobody at this table agrees with your point. That there's seven or more in an orgy. Nobody at this table agrees with you. Maybe you should just get back to drinking. Chug some water, bitch. Chug some water.

I got to go to work tomorrow morning. So do I. No, I don't. That's a lie. It's a lie. So that was Thursday, the day after Christmas. Yeah. So we were busy all day Christmas Well that was the first day I got really tore the fuck up to I was drunk as shit leaving Bar-Louis Pretty sure we all were I know, but I mean, I was drinking water That's right, you were Somebody needed to make sure we got home Hey, we needed to walk across the street I told you that chick at the bar wasn't going to come to the Minglabs. She did. She was there. No, she wasn't. No, she wasn't. Totally was. See?

She wasn't there. Fucking liar. So there was a bunch of vanilla people there. I see an evil scowl from across the room. This is how it goes.

What I loved was the fact that by the time, you know, it was pretty late in the evening, by the time that that was all happening, basically three quarters of the bar were like sitting around our little area and we're sat there just talking about swing your shit swing your shit yeah and we were loud we were loud were you allowed oh well that started off as angie hitting on the uh oh man the worst line ever my horse pickup line ever trying to remember how it went exactly um and that's the one that knows us the least i think i know yeah do you remember can you get the words right yeah we were saying geez i'm hungry like no you're getting it wrong already yeah so we were saying amongst ourselves yeah we were we wanted something to nibble on but we didn't want a lot of food yeah right and so you you asked a bartender and you had the menu in front of you and you called her over and you said hey what's everything what can we all nibble on here aside from you or what's good to nibble on here aside from you right that's pretty close she promptly looked turned around walked away for a minute then came back she's like if i didn't know you i'd take offense to that yep but i do so it's okay yeah she literally walked away she didn't even say anything she just turned around walked away and dog goes well you fucked that up yeah I mean not even not even I've run a pickup line that bad is there something we could never on here besides you is God missing an angel or something you know i keep looking over at the calendar so i can remember everything i might take a photo of it yeah you got one more because you were writing it all down yeah i started writing it down because i didn't want to forget what we were doing and then she kept filling it in i kept trying to i got a majestic beard trimming as well on one of the days oh yeah you went to the boardroom didn't you got a bit majestic beard you got some beard oil so now you're all hipster like absolutely so i can beard oil my back hair down it's not beard oil it's utility balm it's utility balm because it's more manly than beard oil no beard oil is just easier friday what did we do friday mingle as as.

She was reading that off the calendar because I shortened that shit. It's an AS Mingle. Every swing is Mingle or an OS Mingle. Rick's Cabaret. It was actually pretty small because we shortened the time frame and it was a holiday weekend. So we had maybe 60 people. Yeah. Give or good. It's not bad. It was kind of small, but it's not bad. Daryl got drunk as fuck. Oh, I know. And almost lost $45. He didn't almost lose $45. No, he was on that. I know I had a $45 bar tab that I was going to drink down, whether they let me or not. I think between the four of us, we spent almost $300. Yeah.

Well, I like to say that Daryl's like, hey, I gave one of these girls a $50. I gave this chick a $50, and I only got one drink. One of the ones with the red dots. He goes, I don't remember what she looks like. I don't know. Well, I didn't remember what she looked like. I mean, he wasn't positive if it was a black girl or a white girl. A Mexican girl. Like, literally, no idea. I used my words. I used my words that night. I turned down a lady. I was quite impressed with that. Oh, I was just impressed. I'm hearing that. Jay was impressed with that as well. Yeah. That's a good job. Yeah.

You said no to someone. Yeah, I did, Jay. I'm very, very proud of you. Yeah, thank you very much. You're welcome.

And then later, I saw her kissing Jessica, and I walked over, and I was like, hey, you were kissing her, and she yeah you know jessica's like whatever yeah she's like whatever jessica's like it's just a yes yeah on christmas eve you guys had us open a gift that uh we were already drinking because hey you guys pretty sure it was a forceful opening we should open a gift we should open a gift yeah geez i wonder whether kate wanted to open that gift well okay hey in my defense it was past midnight it was officially christmas yes so but yes yeah in kate's defense she wanted to see jay crumb it's another thing too i think we should i believe i believe that's what it was we should probably mention like bedtime has been around two three four in the morning pretty consistently i think there's two times we haven't what she's talking about about, she brought out a gift for me and informed me that a bunch of the other podcasters bought me and Angie a gift for our show.

It was the Spiritual Swingers, Two More to Tango, Sex Uninterrupted, Swinging Down Under, Just Keep Swinging, Euphoria Chronicles, Swinger Diaries, Casual Swinger, That Couple Next Door, and We got a thing. All chipped together and bought us a... Average Christmas gift. Average Christmas gift. Well said. With your mics and a recorder for us to do our show. Camer recorder. And a new show that I'm working on with Angie. Yay, my pretty self.

Because we couldn't afford that shit, and I really can't believe you guys all did that We could, but it wasn't a priority We will Let's just put it like that It wasn't a priority Part of the gift was Daryl helping figure out How the fuck to operate it all Because you and I tried, Jay And I was like, I don't understand Let's wait for Daryl to get out of bed. You read all this shit together. That only works with me and Jay. Kate reading shit, Jay putting it together was not making any sense to him. We do have a small amount of footage of Jay crying. No, I stopped before I really started crying.

There was no seepage from his eyeballs. And I switched and got upset and took it and like, fuck you, we're putting this up now. Yeah. So it's like crying, but not quite. Yeah, there's nothing quite like giving someone a present and then having them get angry at you. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you, cunts. You're trying to make me cry. See how this is. So where were we? So we're talking about the Mingle event. Oh, we were talking about going to Camposano's. We took you to Camposano's. Before the basketball game. Before the basketball game. Oh, shit. You know what?

I'm going to let you you guys take Saturday that was when Daryl got his beard trimmed read I came back looking majestic we did lol and then I went to Pete's piano bar that's all you guys talk about that shit Pete's piano bar was all on J it was his thing but we've been there before so I know what was expected I just thought it'd be something. It is. Well, originally, I was just going to invite people over to the house and have sex. Angie goes, that's not a good idea. I did. But then, later on, don't worry, later on, I counterbalanced that with a very bad idea.

And Jay's like, Angie, that's not a good idea. I was like, you're right, it's not. You know what I'm'm talking about I know exactly what you're talking about after Pete's a bunch of us came back here to have sex Kate didn't trust me to be able to drive she thought I was drunk you were fucking drunk at the beginning at the beginning we get back here a bunch of people are having sex and somebody's something happened in the bedroom we're not going to discuss but people came back out and were like I don't know.

I don goes we have another bed i went no we don't yes and i was like oh wait no we don't and i told kate 360 days every other time of the year we have an extra bed yeah like when I send the people in there to have sex on their goddamn bed. Pretty sure you guys walked in like 10 minutes later. Oh, really? Yeah. That was awesome. It was that close. I almost gave up your room. You're lucky. Just so you know, you got lucky. There was 14 of us at Pete's. That was a lot of fun. Pete's piano was a lot of fun. They didn't play my song, though.

play a lot of people's song they weren't very knowledgeable at this one they didn't play my song angie what song was it uh it was bob molly yeah and i couldn't decide between three little birds kate took up a five dollar tip for them to play it and i then walked up behind her and gave him a 20 not to are you kidding yeah he's kidding okay because someone gave them a 20 to play a song and they were like we don't know the song but they got the 20 i was just thinking okay all right that's what bob marley song did you ask them to play yes i couldn't decide between three little birds or buffalo soldier and i consulted one of our friends t and he said go buffalo soldier no one's gonna know three little birds and then i still didn't play it i was cut up pretty sure they didn't we wouldn't have known either yeah they didn't look like the bob marley type well but the thing was as after i put my song request in was when it really started getting high like it was like one hit after another everyone was getting really involved it was super up tempo and then i started getting a little bit stressed they were actually going to play play my song because i'm like i'm going to be that person in the crowd that brings the whole fucking place down and there was standing room only hundreds of people in here and it would have been like hundreds maybe an exaggeration go go it was pretty long all i know is i was pretty sober until my team started losing then i started taking shots yeah and then i got cut off you started sharing shots with the bartender no he wasn't taking shots oh you got one from me did he get one from you yeah okay well i didn't because you told me that he was he was taking shots well yeah he was making my shot okay well see i misunderstood so when i bought you a shot i got him a shot as well okay shortly after that he cut me off which was not a bad idea because i had like eight shots in 30 minutes because my team was losing jesus when we showed up there i was hammered because you were you were fucking white boy wasted you guys did the uh ladies the lifestyle recording which is it's going to be freaking awesome i think so all i was going to say i was wasted when you guys were doing that, a bunch of the guys, the husbands, all went downstairs and started drinking and playing pool.

Yeah. That's where I got just trashed. White boy wasted. And you know, just before we left for Pete's, Daryl says to me, oh no, Jay's only had like two or three beers. He's not that drunk. And I was like, I think you're wrong, babe. Oh, that had it was vodka it was complete vodka yeah i'm not surprised because i saw you make a drink for kate and her have the first sip of it and she went she's like it was like there was vinegar in the cup she's like okay i need to i need to pour out half of this and top it up with laminate or something oh you guys did get a warning at Pete's as well.

You got the security guard? Yeah. No, you... You don't say we. I didn't. I was trying to... Yeah, you did. No. Yes, you did, because... You were holding on to... A younger one. Yeah. And another one was in front of her. Yes. None of y'all married. And I was trying to tell them to get up with a security guard. Yeah, I don't think you were.. Oh, yeah. That's not a good idea. Your ass wasn't telling me the way it was boogieing from side to side. There wasn't a lot of get up in how your ass was dancing. His ass was in the seat but his top was just going back and forth.

Hey, there was girls sitting back there with a guy that had a beard more majestic than yours. They adored me. There was a guy there with a very majestic beard beard there was a lot of beards there i petted it several times yeah now i just wanted to mention i took that one girl's hair thingy and stuck on my bald head mm-hmm bandana it had a little bow on the top of my head then i went to the bathroom and t came into the restroom while i was waiting for the stall and he comes over stands by me and i. And I grab his hand. Now we're just standing in the men's room. Holding hands. Holding hands.

Whilst you're peeing. We made a lot of people very uncomfortable. Were you peeing at the time? No, I couldn't do that. Let's talk about LOL. Right, this is a really clever, very clever, very smart, very intelligent name that Angie came up with. Angie, yes, thank you. Angie's going to correct you now.

Or is my third person that it was me it was angie angie says that angie came up with it angie says angie is smiling she's amazing and she's a gorgeous i did run it by a couple friends and i'm like that's a really good idea i was like okay then it's where the friends you huh with the friends you and it was in a group chat with you it was the group chat no, no, it was Mrs. Tango. Me, myself, and I. It was Mrs. Tango and Ready to Jam, thank you very much. It was not in a group chat by myself. Angie, this is going to be amazing. Isn't it Angie? Yes, it is. Yes, it is, Angie.

I also gave you a good idea that we're going to talk about too. Yeah, you did, and we will be doing that. Anal. And we're back on board. So, tell us about the afternoon with LOL.

What'd we do which is ladies what did we do well we almost forgot and lost track of time because i don't even know four o'clock came really quick yeah i think there's you know you get a pack of room full of full of ladies you're gonna lose time some of the ladies turn up a little bit late too yeah and that's natural swinger thing so if i say we're going to start at four is a good chance we're not starting till five but i think it works out so the lol the whole reason for it or summary behind our synopsis whatever verb you want to use fancy as far and i think they're all adjectives are they no are they no they're verbs okay now you got me questioning my english right now anyways so the point behind it was to share podcasters like not have a continuum across multiple podcasts not just one so when we all get together it generally releases on one show versus lol would release on multiple shows and it it's generally just ladies, ladies of lifestyle.

Yep. Okay. So when I started this, one of my thought process came in. And I was like, if we did three topics, three of the podcasters can have a 30-minute segment for their show to release. Yep. And you won't get the end of the show unless you listen to all of them.

So I thought that that was a good way to share in me being a positive promoter of things that that was the best way i could do it for the females so we did a segment in not in new orleans which was the first segment first series and then we did a segment in austin where released with uh euphoria chronicles and then we did the third segment with you and that'll release in sometimes february january february end of january something like that so i i thought that the the process was really good because you have to go listen you have to go listen or you're not going to get it even if you listen to the second episode not the third the first you're not going to understand who the players are in the room i feel feel like Kate's desperate to play something.

She is. I don't know what you guys are talking about. You didn't need that. I can totally high-five myself. I've learned to high-five myself a lot. I always thought your soundboard was way more impressive than that. Yeah, than an iPhone. Than an iPhone? No, we actually don't use the hot buttons.

That's because i've vetoed it i've vetoed it because i don't like them i really enjoy the crickets okay so ladies of the lifestyle so that's going to come out on my uh on the swinging down under podcast first and then it's going to go out on the average swingers podcast so i'm going to release around about end of january i'm thinking like 20 26 27 and and then a week a week later it's gonna the second segment literally seven days later it will fall seven days later can we give a teaser on the topics or no um no let's not you can give one later fuck you guys yeah she doesn't remember just listen no we actually do because they all the topics were kate's idea and then she tried to get me to to do the second one i was like yeah no you're just gonna have to talk about this because i don't know what you want i'm just i'm just gonna grab my boobs and go feminism yeah but that wasn't even a topic i know it just sprung us in there and it just kind i didn't get it show me again left one feminism oh so yeah that was a lot of fun and then and then we did the pete's piano bar which you know we stayed a little bit longer to listen to some more music which was good and then um you want to talk about that blonde lady the judgy lady that you were fucking with the lady that had friends in brisbane oh yeah okay and you were well it wasn't she wasn't judging us she was just a little bit tipsy horr.

That's not the right word. Anyway, so I was up at the bar and standing beside her and she ordered something and I think the bartender misheard her. Anyway, we got into a conversation, found out that she's got friends in Australia, but we're talking for a little while longer. Did you know them? No. Because it's such a small world. Yeah, their name was John Smith.

Such a such a small are you sure they weren't from pocahontas that's australia that's what pocahontas is based in australia i was just talking about the cartoon i watched with my kids as a child yeah i know it's also joking let me just get that cricket uh cricket sound for you, Jay. Yeah. That's all, folks. Sue. I'm trying to read this. Moving on. So I was talking to her for a little bit anyway. And then Kate came, you know, having a wife came up where Kate lived. No, I came up to go to the bathroom. So then after I'd spoken about Kate, Kate happened to turn up while we were there.

She was on her way to the bathroom as she just, you know, precursor. And I introduced her quickly and Kate said, I've got to go to the bathroom. She ran away. Anyway, then we went back over to the table and the lovely young lady decided to sit on my lap. Yeah. Who wasn't Kate. Elle sat on your lap. Yeah. Did she ask consent first? Yes, she did.

Good for her el always has consent and my always and my um my swiftly erect penis gave a high five as she sat down just to confirm and uh so then uh we were we were sitting there for a while and touching on each other and then gave her a kiss and I looked over after I finished kissing her and the blonde that I was talking to at the bar was sitting there with her friends and saw me and it was all white eye because her eyes were so big. You saw all the whites around her eyeball.

Yeah, and she then turned to her friends and started pointing at us and so I whispered to Elsie and I said, it was a lady I met at the bar before that I introduced to Kate as my wife and she's just seen us kissing just have a look I said it's like a two o'clock and she's looked over and gone so clock in the morning no no I said I was using a directional scenario you're so pretty bless your heart yeah bless anyway, so she looked over there and she turned back and she's pissing herself laughing because they were just so blown away.

Anyway, as we're leaving that night, because we walked out with those guys as well, as we were leaving, I step off the curb, headed over to our Uberber and she this bond chicks walking out of the club and she sees me walking to the car with kate and she's like she couldn't help herself anymore she's like what what's going on was she losing her shirt i turned back and i said what do you mean and she's like there was the other girl was sitting on your lap i I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yep. And I kept walking. And she's like, but you're getting in the car with her.

And I'm like, yeah, this is my wife. We're swingers. And as I stepped into the car and we drove away. You left her mind blown. Well, that's what I said. Like the door closing was basically a mic drop. Yeah, we're swingers. door closed, mic drop, fuck off. So it was a bit of fun, yeah, because her head may have popped off a little bit. Yeah, that was pretty fun. Yeah, have you seen that little character where the little confetti pops out of their brain? That's what I was thinking, mind blown. Yep, absolutely. So it was, yeah, that was a bit of fun as well.

And then we came and broke into your apartment. If anyone wants tips on how to break into Jay and Angie's apartment, send us a direct conference on Twitter. Yeah, just text us. We'll let you know. Yeah, we'll let you know. Profits must be shared 50-50. Hey, I came down to get you guys. All by myself. And it's hard penis. I was alone by myself. Let's be honest. Nobody was looking. It's hard. I was thinking of you. Let's be honest. I was alone by myself. All right, let's talk about Sunday.

So we went to um bar louis again because we were watching football we went and watched football here we go watch here we go watch though did we go to watch the cowboys or who are we gonna watch the cowboys watched the browns with their ass kicked again again handed to them here's what i want to say about bar louis when you told us about two dollar mimosas you thought i was joking right no right? No, I didn't, but I was like... She didn't process that. The whole idea of it didn't really... And then, you know, I've seen our bar tabs so far for the week.

And at this point, I'm like, $2 mimosas, not bad. And then we get in there, and we're watching the game, and I'm super stoked because I'm like, the Browns are going to win, like this is Angie's fucking team. Just like the Mavericks, right? Taking your Browns to the bowl. That's going to happen to the bubble. Shut up. She's magic. I am magic. It's magically delicious. I thought Daryl was magic because Angie's like, hey, give me your wallet so I can pay it. I was like, yeah. I didn't know my wallet. Jake left his wallet. But that $28 check was like... It was like $28.

But was all for the champagne. There was like a three, almost a, I want to say a four-fifths of a pour for champagne and a one-fifth drop of pineapple or orange juice. Remember when I taught you? You show the orange to the glass. That's it. Yeah, that's what you said. That's essentially what happened. That's why I like $2 when we sit there. That is a lot of orange juice. So Monday, Sunday night. So Sunday after the game, we came back and just chilled out, right? We didn't do much. We cooked. I think we cooked. I feel like there's a standard here. I thought we cooked food Sunday night.

Was that steak night? That was steak night. Yeah, so Sunday night was steak night. Daryl was going to come down and help me cook steak. But he walked out to go to Bar Louie's. I woke up, son. It's too fucking cold. Fuck this. What are potatoes now? What did we discuss? What are potatoes? Potatoes are the steak of the vegetable world. Exactly. The steak of the vegetable world. That was a good one. Yeah, I thought so as well. So, you got steak and not hurt yourself, pack yourself on the back. Yeah, Sunday night we did. We all went to bed at, I feel like 9.30. Yeah, between 9 and 11. Yeah.

I knew it was coming. Daryl, you took a helicopter flight over Dallas again. Yes, you did. Two-hour flight. It was nice. Wait, you're a pilot? I've heard he's a pilot.

It everybody else yeah I went for four and we're done to the Texas Motor Speedway and did a lap of the track probably at a lower speed than the guys who do it but did do a lap of the track and then went for a flight out over some friends yeah and then headed down from my way you said you flew over bread and justice house didn't you that's what he said friends yeah sorry they don't care yeah they don't I just wasn't yeah so yeah they're the only couple that doesn't care yeah okay so flew over their place then down to the Cowboys up its Six Flags. Oh, no, sorry. Cowboys, Rangers, and Six Flags.

Yeah, I did a run around Fort Worth first. We did a low-level, I called it a real low-level flight because we were below all of the buildings. I felt like I was in people's backyard.

Just watching people as you fly around thinking, man, they so what did what didn't you have a uh an issue with the mic they asked if you were care flight or something oh no that was just an issue with it they they didn't realize that we because there were helicopters that the same school that i was with actually runs a care flight helicopter as well okay and and also a news helicopter so yeah they thought we were a care flight helicopter and they're trying to vector us through an area that we're not allowed to go through thankfully i had a safety pilot in with me to make sure i didn't do like no we're not coming in yeah she's like no we're not doing that because we're not a care flight helicopter yeah safety third daryl safety third, let's talk about free play.

Jay, you can take this one. I will have to admit, when you keep mentioning free play, I was not excited at all. I'm thinking me and Daryl is going to go. We're going to be drunk. We're going to drink a lot. You and Kate are going to be playing video games the whole night. Yep. Here's what happened. Here's what actually happened. Here's what actually happened.

We we show up we get one round of drinks yep everybody plays video games the entire fucking time and you couldn't get another drink to save your goddamn life that was the slowest bartender in the world we we actually all decided we could triple the profitability of the business just simply by replacing the bartender yeah Jay and I are playing like deer buck hunter thing, and we wanted you guys to come back. It's not deer buck hunter. Okay, we wanted you to come back and play it as well. It's big buck hunter. Do you know what deers do? They shed. Every year. Yeah. Horns fall right off.

They shed their tails. It just falls right off. It's real weird. Their antlers fall right off every year. It's amazing. That was a lot of fun, though. Yeah, that was a fucking blast. That was a blast Wait, I'm pretty sure at the end of the night Kate pulls me into a game she's been whooping Jay's ass on No She whipped my ass She whipped my ass on this damn puzzle game And then turns around And high-fives these four guys Playing this other game They high-fived me back. It was so fucking good. You were a hot blonde saying, give me high-five. Give me high-fives, bitches.

They saw a great pair of titties coming out of the middle. Yes, son. Are we high-fiving your hands or your tits? All of the above. Here's the important thing. She kicked my ass like five games in a row. I finally win one.

I turn back's nobody He had to fight half of himself I only won one by the way I got stomped every other game And then Angie came along and started kicking my ass And then we stopped playing and we left the place And it was shit so let's win Well it took me a minute to figure the game out I beat you like three times But then after that i was like oh i got this i understand now that's a great that's a great gaming location though there's lots of old there's all sorts of areas so we're walking around you got me addicted to one of your yeah 1943 yeah 1943 which surprised the hell out of me when i was watching and then you went back and you played it a second time and my Masturbating finger was sore.

I had to stop Did I not tell you did I Don't know about you, but when I masturbate my my pointy finger it gets on top of my yeah So it jumps on my left, right?

When I'm top when I'm tapping tapping the key tapping the key survey says okay doesn't matter anyway so i'm coming over there and i'm i we're playing together and i was like i gotta take a break my masturbating fingers they were nearly out of juice but but i did go back to it because i was figuring out how to do the flippy things and and get wingman and shit like that so yeah it's so there you go but it was interesting to walk around there because you could go from era to era as well i'm like this stuff like there's cute i'm like walking past cuba and ms pac-man like this is all before me you know this yeah it's old old stuff yeah and you go through and you see the different eras of games all the way through and there's deadpool deadpool pinball yeah i saw that yeah did you play that i thought you might i didn't play any pinball no no man i played some pinballs hard i played like three pinball machines yeah you play it hard yeah you pull hard and let it go yeah i did but normally it's like you do it and you're so competitive because it's your money and like you've got time.

My masturbating fiender needed to be for 1943. Dude came up beside me and said, hey, this machine just ate my quarter. And I was like, huh? It took me a minute and I was like, oh, yeah, all right, I get it. I get it. Shit. And it was a good thing because Kate cusses like a motherfucker when she's shooting deer.

No, no no, that was the best part The best part, I think, was Street Fighter When you could sit across Oh my god, the dude next to me She's like, oh, getting you, motherfucker And she's yelling And Daryl's across and can't really hear her Or see her, and I'm sitting next to her And the guy over here, he's like an introvert playing his game Oh my god, such an introvert and she's like motherfucker yelling at daryl and daryl at one point i was like yeah fucking get some motherfucker yeah and then the next guy next to me i'm like i'm so sorry i'm sorry about that he's like no no no it's okay please stop talking me at one point you beat me so bad at street fighter my legs started moving the machine yeah it did the machine though because they're connected the two are connected and so i couldn't see him but i was trying to get into it like moving my whole body i was moving my whole body i was like shimmering when in doubt stab it out that's why you just push all the buttons it's like i was like fucking you were butting button mashing with my legs as well it was it was a physical form it is a it's a lot of fun that place is a lot of fun uh jay you're gonna take the next segment which is colette he was gonna take that segment till you cut him off i know i don't think about colette we with the colette we brandon and jessica came by here we were all getting oh yeah we had pizza oh wait let's start Let's start off this off.

I know. I don't know. I don't know what to think about Colette. We went to Colette. Brandon and Jessica came by here. We were all getting our seats ready. Oh, yeah. We had pizza. Oh, wait. Let's start off this way. I tried my suit on that morning. Yeah. Decided. Worked fine. Then we went to the fucking Brazilian all-you-can-eat place. Not so fun. My suit no longer fit right anymore. And then we had some pizzas. We had some pizza you made, Daryl, and then some cauliflower pizza. By the time we were leaving for the club, Colette's, my pants were getting tight.

No, what happened is he's standing in the bed and he goes, He's sucking his gut in. I'm like, dude, lay on the bed. Every chick does it. Just lay on the bed. How the fuck am I going to go pee? You fucking novice. It doesn't matter. You're an amateur. Lay on the bed. Brandon and Jessica stopped by. We started drinking and eating. We had a good conversation. And then we said, hey, we'll be at your place at 7. We didn't get there until like 7.45. Yep. We rolled in the break. You guys, you two put on your makeup. Talking about Daryl and Angie.

Put on her makeup we looked sexy as fuck didn't we okay yeah fuck yeah we did yeah i did angie's makeup she did mine she braided your beard you know yeah it's actually getting to the point where i think you could get a decent braid in it no no it's still too short no you could get a micro braid No, I've seen penises shorter than your, longer than your hair. No, yeah, it's still too short. No, you could get a microbe, right? No, I've seen penises shorter than your hair, longer than your hair. No, yeah. That didn't work out. That analogy didn't work. So let's edit that.

I would, but I don't want to. There's so many of your podcasts I've listened to where you say you need to edit that out, and Jay says no. And then Jay's like, fuck you, I'm leaving it. Now you know why.

But when we got the collettes we uh commandeered a seat right by the stairs and the vip room there's a there's a um well actually i said hey why don't we i was like hey why don't we sit there kate goes no let's go out by the dance floor so we go by the dance floor daryl comes up with his floor is like can we go back this is my only shit let's go back we won't be able to talk to anyone out here it's too loud so we commandeered the l-shaped couch in the in the there's porn play and they all kept looking at the point going i don't think that's supposed to fit yeah i think that's supposed to fit i mean there was one chick there that had scratches on her ass she looked like she'd been fucking lion taming the night before or something and then and then i mean it was uh she was she was pretty scratched back there it might have been whip marks maybe could have been whip marks although the whip they kind of went the wrong way they went up and down rather than side to side so whip marks you'd expect to go across it depends on if she if she was giving a blowjob and they were whipping her from the other side yeah it could be could see you ladies look lovely by the way.

Thank you. Appreciate you. Yes, absolutely. And Daryl, you look smashing. You also looked quite well put together. You looked very dapper. Next to you, I felt like a fucking bum. You looked good. Good looking dude. Actually, we did have some audio of everybody, of you, Angie, explaining what the men look like, and of Daryl explaining what the women look like.

So I'm actually, at that point, I i'm gonna slot it in okay uh we are getting ready to head to colette dallas uh which is in texas united states of america and uh it's the new year's eve party and what's the theme tonight ball New Year's Eve bowl New Year's Eve bowl I'm in the room with Average Swingers Jay and Angie and Brennan, Jessica, also from Dallas, Texas, and we're getting ready to head out to Colette. This is my second time in Colette. Last time we had sex on the group bed, and how many people were watching us, Daryl? There were a lot more than I was counting. Fucking hell.

There were a lot of people. That was the worst. I think there was a dude that tried to get on the bed at some point too, right? Was there a guy who tried to join you? Yeah. It wasn't you, Joe. I don't want me. I would have reached out and felt the hell. I know where our boundaries are and I want to remain friends. We're good. Okay, Brendan, I've got a question for you. Before you and Jessica go out, do you guys ever discuss not what your expectations are, but maybe what your desires are, what you want to get out of the evening?

Do you ever have any fantasies that you guys discuss and think maybe this is what I want to have happen tonight? We have in the past. We haven't for tonight. You haven't chatted about it at all? No. No, we haven't. Not tonight we haven't. Let's do that live then, because there's nothing better than putting people on the spot.

You know but there's like other discussions as well so jessica you had well i think we try not to have too many expectations when we go out it's like you know what we like to just kind of see where things go for the night don't really plan if things happen they happen you know if they don't then it's okay we don't want to be you know don't want to be disappointed because we set ourselves up for you know something like yeah but what about for failure but but you know going in with with a lot of expectations and then walking out with nothing, you know, and then, you know, we're upset or whatever.

The higher your expectations, the more likely you are to fail. Yes. Well, yeah, I mean, sure. If you want to call it fail, I don't like to call it fail. But what about the, yeah. You have an expectation, you have a disappointment. Yes, that's a better word for it.

What about, though about though like sharing your desires like what you want to try and achieve i know achieve sounds like you're trying to like hit a target but like what about that you know so when we go we i'll say to daryl like i'd like to perhaps play in a group situation tonight or i'd really like to see if we can fight a threesome whatever so then he knows that that's my desires going into the evening so then if i all of a sudden change tact halfway through he's not kind of thrown by it yeah well we did that recently where you gave me expectation about choosing three people or not we we talked about and you said hey i want you to find three couples that are new that we don't know that you may be interested in playing with except like not at the same time or like just wait a second she has the numbers wrong i told you to find a couple it took you three parties to find a couple you're looking at a picky bitch sorry no she didn't find anybody she wanted to fuck at three different parties.

Oh, okay. I did at the third party. Okay, finally, one. So her standards are a lot higher than yours. And we have no fuck. Oh, yeah. No. And we have no fuck, though. This is really interesting. I mean, you're that picky. You have no idea. Jay gets so frustrated with me. Yeah. No, I just find it interesting that you're that picky as my eyes flick to Jay. Well, I'm very damn.

I want eyes flick to joe i'm kidding i gave him a hug across the room everyone i think he's a very sexy man if you put it that way we've had that discussion i remember when we used to the host and stuff we would want to meet new couples that was our goal what's your goal for this evening kate yeah what's yours um yeah definitely i want to have i'm going for sex with at least two couples i think at the same time no they can be separate that's my go and i'm actually really and then i also said to daryl if he finds a girl like maybe we'll see but he could go off with a girl so let's just see how well kate's vagina sustains more than one couple this is what he said he's like i don't know babe like you're setting the bar high daryl she said you might find a girl to go off with just by yourself just uh her pussy's bleeding oh god hope you got 45 minutes to kill it doesn't take that long for normal men that one guy was just fucked up 45 wait i heard he's large if you're talking about the back that's the longest no we're talking about ever oh wait is that awesome your ass is yeah have you have you you know then yeah yeah yes she has i haven't seen it myself would you be okay someone said he's large i don't know was it you i was actually just going to show you my I think it was Jay.

No, you gotta take the whole thing off. No, he's gonna show you my underpants? I'm focused. He's large, comparatively speaking. Comparative. I know at least two of the men you've slept with, you're going to be just fine. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. In my ass, though? Possibly, actually. The two men I'm thinking about, the one that made you start your period early, he's larger than him, so you're good. Keep busted. Ha ha were asking about this, I actually had a discussion with Angie about the fact that I didn't want her to tell me one of her things.

Oh, you just wanted have it as a surprise no because she used to before we were going out she'd be upset about something she goes i don't want to have sex tonight i don't want to play tonight no yeah i don't want to go what and i want to go why just because we can't have sex no i don't care if we have sex the fact that you're telling me before we leave that there's no option if you happen to find somebody you really attracted to and you've had any drinks you're gonna cut it off i'm not gonna let you and then you're in a position where you feel i'm stopping her from doing something i want her to do and which is part of the reason we got the lifestyle because that was driving me insane so kind of the other end other way around for me when i try to get kate as drunk as possible so that i can force her upon other men if she told you beforehand i do not okay i do not want to him he's disgusting i don't want to do that i'm joking i'm in the same boat as you that's it from the leg from the leg people we're not sitting here naked right now She can tell me that she goes i don't know if i want to play tonight right she could phrase it any other way yes i just had to reword my words yeah to not be so um black and white when i was sleeping out the door i was not in a mood to have sex with anyone else no most of the time no no because we wouldn't go out because once I said it he was done yeah have you met Jay black and white just the opposite for Jessica because Jessica is always almost in that met mindset every time we go to a lifestyle event then I will the yes the no okay and then she gets a few drinks she kind of loosens up She starts talking and partying And then personality takes over Jessica and Kate should really get together I kind of tend to be kind of high strung You know Really?

Get out That was a high strung bird I just A solid bird A couple drinks It's not that I have to have that Ta-ha-ha-ha- makes the angel stop thinking something. I'm going to do something different.

Daryl, I'm going to get you to describe what each of the ladies are wearing in the room something different we've never done that so i'm gonna give this to you and you can describe what each of the ladies are wearing okay you're gonna hold it because i don't want to hold it you just you're just holding it aren't you okay so uh jess is wearing a velour is the best way to describe it velvet velvet because you can ride on it you can you can actually ride on it like a crushed velvet deep v deep v uh but the v's at the top and the bottom which is good because if we give her a high 10 the the kitty falls out the bottom it's a v in a triangle um an overlapping uh skirt and i think it looks amazing on her and she's got a lacy thong and a nice uh nice collar that has um some gemstones in it which matches her shoes very well also oh well done yeah oh and bracelets sorry i missed the bracelet there we go um and then and then we got angie angie's in a straight hair angie's in a fabulous fabulous lycra skin tie or sorry what do you guys call it spandex spandex lycra same sort of deal just different but we call it bodycon yeah body well it's a bodycon dress yes but it's a lycra fabric it's shiny um it's got some uh some string to the back and it's quite it's got a low cut back and there is absolutely nothing underneath it um top or bottom uh she has a fantastic little collar little black collar on which is a stretchy collar um which is i'm calling it the angie collar because every time i see her she's got one on and she's got some fantastic curled hair she does her hair looks beautiful and she's looking gorgeous and then of course there's kate and kate is wearing yep there we go kate's getting some more champagne kate is kate is wearing a um a corset that is fits fits her really well which is really quite unusual because when we buy corsets in asia generally they're like a b cup at best and and kate kind of uh overindulges those a little um so it actually fits quite well um over the top of her corset which is the way it should be worn because the way the other way she wore it i hated it but this way around it looks good um is a skirt that is only uh not clear at basically the front vaginary area and the and the butt crack area so sheer skirt with exception of the vagina and the butt crack um which some with some crossover stuff at the side it looks really nice and then there's a bit of lace on the the maroon or maroon sorry i went so american right there the maroon uh top what the fuck's maroon yeah that's when you get that's when you that's when you get stuck on a on a desert island when you get marooned um so because you can't get marooned that'll be different um and then you she's wearing her classic neck necklace vibrator which is uh something that she's become very fond of um and some black high shoes very high now.

Now I get Angie to describe the men's because that's what's going to be funny as shit. I think Jessica would be better at it. I don't think so. Okay. Let's make Jessica do it anyways. I think so. Yeah, Jessica, you got this. I got to finish myself. Okay. Brandon is wearing a super sexy purple. He actually has a tie clip. Don't really see tie clips.

And he's wearing a the way some kind of what pattern is that daryl uh that's um shit i forgot the name paisley is it paisley wow jay even knew the paisley tie and he's got blue jeans on because he's lost so much weight his pants don't fit super sexy super sexy dress shoes jay's wearing a gray jacket gray pants white shirt black shoes uh sorry those black shoes have a particular name do they winchester no no these are what are those those ones you know those ones brogues they're brogues they're brogues brandon's wearing what they're what are those ones Jay, can you help out? Brogues.

They're not brogues they're brogues they're brogues brandon's wearing what they're what are those ones uh jay can you help out um brogues they're not brogues or anything no they're brogues um i thought those were winchester they're monk shoes monk monk shoes that style is a monk shoe okay yeah okay well why am i describing jeans i'm educated it's better all right so so we got brown brog over here for Brandon before you start describing B let's um Who's the best dressed man in the room? All right, go ahead and describe Daryl now He's got a pin strike.

It makes me want to dry hump so hard It makes me want to dry hump Here you go. No, no, you got my leg. Dry hump. Wow, that you got my leg It's a dry up in the leg So Daryl's wearing a Navy blue or royal blue That's navy Navy blue pinstripe suit White pinstripe With a polka dot, brown belt, and what kind of shoes do you have on, mister? So these are Cross Monk and Oxford. So they're Oxford Monk. Okay, I feel like I'm in the presence of animals right now. And don't forget the T-tack, what is that thing, the triangle? The pocket triangle. Pocket triangle. Pocket square? Yeah.

That he ironed today. He also ironed your shirt today i ironed your shirt wait in your pants you're ironed you ironed my shit today daryl daryl ironed your shit saturday or friday yeah all right so am i good all right well thank you very much angie oh so that's us signing out we're about to go have our new year Year's Eve party, Colette and Dallas. Let's check back with you bitches tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, we're going to do... No, no, we're going to do a full podcast review about our time in Dallas. You know what's really funny?

You were talking about how we have to drink mimosas until we run out of champagne, and we just banged through two bottles of champagne tonight. It's not really a problem. Well But we're missing two of the alcoholics. Then I'll just have to drink more Mimotha. All right, everyone. Happy New Year. Cheers, bitches. FYI, I'm not very good at, you know, describing people. Bullshit. You learned a lot about shoes.

I did learn a lot about know describing people bullshit you learned a lot about shoes I did learn a lot about shoes no everybody else learned a lot about shoes I still don't remember anything about shoes just think brogues not hoes um Jay what was the um but I like the joke that was a terrible joke I like hoes okay um how was your evening Jay what happened what was going Oh, we have a good time. Just walk around and talk to them. Any story, Brie. Well, good time. Just walk around and talk to them. Good story, Brian.

Well, any time we go to a club, I kind of assume that we're probably not going to be playing there. Because I'm not an exhibitionist. I'm not all about playing. Especially on a bigger party night, because then you really can't get the... Yeah. Most of the time. Most, yeah.

You really can't get this i think the the level of people there the number of people there for last night or what was it last night already this morning technically okay this morning yeah i was like was it already last night all right but the love the number of people there i think i feel was perfect i any more would have been horrible any less would have been like this kind of lame but i think it was a really good number of people now the quality of people that's a little bit different but as a good friend told me it's amateur night so yeah what you're gonna do right it kind of was there were an awful lot of people well i mean we we were kate and i managed to make it to the playroom for a spectacular session of fun and games.

And medical necessity. And medical fun. I was there and I didn't even realize I was there. Before you get to that, you guys had left to go play. I told Angie just one couple that we talked to a couple months ago. Yeah. And seen them once or twice. At the club. Yeah. We talked to them earlier that night. They were walking by.

I said, hey Angie, why don't you go go chase them down see if they want to play so i did yeah so she disappeared with them so i followed them and i was getting ready to ask them they're like we want to walk in this playroom well you know playrooms are kind of for me i don't want people walking in or having street talk yep because that's distracting yep so i was whispering i was like she didn't know you guys were in that room i did not know you guys were in that room by the way had no idea peeked in and started watching probably but um anyway so i we were we made a little change she grabbed her husband's belt loop and i grabbed the back of her dress like a hook and so we made a little chain i said i'm your threesome for the night just just go with it and And so we walked in, and not even two or three seconds, it could have been ten seconds after we walked in, this chick comes flying out the bed.

I mean, like, not just fall back. She didn't fall back. Like, I've seen chicks fall back and just fall off the bed because they lost their space and didn't realize there wasn't a wall behind them.

This girl was ejected off of the bed landed flat on her back and hit her head and as soon as i seen that i was like oh she's got a head wound oh yeah she's got trauma but her husband popped out really quick i'm gonna assume yes it was her husband because we met them later that was uh that was paul's one in our uh in our sex session so but again i didn't know that part before you go any further now pick up what you guys were doing in your sex session before that happened so at this point, when that moment happened Daryl was going down on L and T and I were fucking, I think I was on top of him actually, I was on top of him and when it happened it was loud, it it was really loud like if you go back and listen to whatever yeah it's a it takes a lot for me to pull my face out of a beautiful lady's vagina yeah and i did i pulled my phone what the fuck and i saw it so i and i saw it and i heard it so i understand what you were talking about yeah so we um this noise happened and all four of us stopped and T got out of the thing and tried to like help someone.

you were talking about yeah so we um this noise happened and all four of us stopped and t got out of the thing and tried to like help somebody so i'm assuming at that point you probably saw him come out of the little room naked walked away oh you walked away i walked away immediately because i know the next room has a bouncer because it's only playrooms with curtains closed it's not a voyeur room yeah so i knew there was a bouncer over there so i left the couple i was with and i walked over and i said hey there's head trauma over there i'll stand here and guard this you go that way so he walked over there and i guess that's when uh t did his thing yeah so he got out and then tried to help and then they were like no no no so anyway so then we started back up again changed around positions and we're going maybe i feel like 10 minutes 20 maybe i would think five five okay the only reason i say five is because time time feels like it flies a lot faster than it actually does so this happens we stop we pause we get out we try to help they don't want to help it's fine we go back into our little room area and we start playing again and we're going to go around two yep you're literally starting to have sex for two seconds.

Yeah, I just got back inside while you guys... I feel like tea had just entered me from behind. You were getting fucked from behind, yeah. It was like a few pumps in, and next... A few pumps? Neck minute. What are we, 12? Yeah. I'd have been done by then. I'm just like, it's all done. Shit, we're only studying. Neck minute, the person in front fucking vomits everywhere.

All over the bed over the fucking floor she was about a foot from my face she was right beside my back i was i could feel the warmth of it as it flew through the air it got really hot rules it's like a flash of heat like question for jay do you want somebody vomiting when your back is facing him or when your face is facing him one foot away? For neither, but I'd take my back before. He doesn't want to see it. There's so much vomit. It was a lot of vomit. So they shut the playroom down. But that wasn't the same. Was that the same couple or not? No, different couple. Oh, okay.

Two things I want to point out. You guys stopped after that, right? Oh, yeah. We were given an option. They said, all right, clear the room. Everybody get out. Everybody up. That's actually good. It becomes a hazard at that point. A health. Thank you very much. Well, you guys stopped after that, right? Oh, yeah. We weren't given an option. They said, all right, clear the room. Everybody get out. Everybody up. That's actually good. It becomes a hazard at that point. A health, yeah. A health hazard. That happened. And we started, we were like, okay, this is not, this obviously killed me.

I mean, actually, it happened. And I went, well, that's us done. Literally out there. Yeah, you said, okay, well, we're done now. That's us done. Yep, all right, we're out of here.

And that's when then the, I guess, the bouncer on security said behind me like everybody out yeah i think they turned the lights on proper no they didn't not yet no that's just everybody out everybody out get out so everybody started they didn't say anything they just said every all right everyone up everyone up we're gonna get out yeah so when you guys came back out uh kate said hey you know we were back there girl puke we had to stop i'm like important thing did you orgasm and she goes yes i said good we're good fuck yeah that was orgasmed all around now here's something i did get given a little blue pill to chew on and i think i'm still recovering from that now oh you got a little blue pill well it was a chewable yeah what do you say so what do you say they taste like they taste like fitness or something that's fitness i think he said or health or health something they do taste like they do taste like fitness that's a good descriptor they're kind of like a protein shake but um yeah i'm still i think i'm still recovering from that now every time the wind changes i've got a raging heart on which is which is good i gave jay a kiss on the the forehead a little earlier and i'll actually commented multiple times about your refractory period as well yeah explain refractory um so it's when when he comes and then he gets hard again pretty quick and he's ready to go oh okay so um yeah so we came out and uh at this point we we gathered up We'll see you next time.

he comes and then he gets hard again pretty quick and he's ready to go oh okay so um yeah so we came out and uh at this point we we gathered up all of our shit came back out and we're in lingerie i had my butt plug tail in which i broke which uh what the hell how tight is your ass she's like it's tight cut it off cut it off she just sneezed once and it snapped it in half I don't know.

second time cut it off cut it off she just sneezed once and it snapped it in half and you know good night that's because people enjoy pulling on it as you walk along which is your most terrifying thing jay did that he pulled he tugged a little bit not at not at all but he just tugged just to make sure she knew where he was when we were when we were in singapore we had somebody give it a pretty good, pretty solid yank to the point Kate went like, whoa, she did have to pinch up. But you know what? I actually had two people last night also that said to me, oh, is that attached to your lingerie?

What is that? Is that attached to your lingerie? Well, you did have a thong, like a bodice. Yeah, so you had a bodice on, so that's not, it wasn't so obvious. It was a string bodice. It wasn't so poor in that blue one on. I was going to point out, Angie went with those, followed those people, asked them to play. All that happened. I didn't get that far. She did not get that far. Yeah, that kind of ended it. I did ask her in the bathroom, but at that point, I was like, I saw three chicks wipe out next to the sink because the water and the soap, at least there was water and soap, wasn't upset.

But I saw three chicks and stilettos, like, wipe out. Kate was in there at one point when I'm cleaning it up. She was just let it go. I was like, no, I can't. I got to clean it up. I can't. I got to clean it up. But I was talking to that chick, and she was like, yeah, you know what happened in that playroom? I was like, yeah. I was like, I walked over to get the bouncer, and I came back. Y'all were gone. She goes, oh, yeah, we're done. Yeah. As soon as I saw that, he was, like, feeling nauseous, and she was feeling, because that's how bad it sounded. Yeah. So I didn't get to talk to her.

And you didn't see it, because I actually physically saw how much there was, what color it was. No, no, I'm not talking about pure. I'm talking about the head smack on the concrete. Do you know what I found the most ridiculous part of this entire conversation when this vomit happened behind me? T and Kate are talking later and they're like, yeah, we were looking at her because Kate was in the dog and he was behind her.

We were looking at her just hardly moving and T's like yes she hadn't moved in ages fuck is looking at that all I was looking at is the sweet sweet ass in front of me that I wouldn't be looking at that either i'd be looking at the inside of my eyeballs if i was kate so if you're in doggy style would you be hands like just eyes closed just eyes closed yeah like face down ass um so okay okay a few things that interesting happened during the evening. I got my butt spanked. Before we closed the curtains. In the same play section. Non-consent, we had three butt spanks all together.

I had two, you had one. Yeah, I didn't realize that mine was a non-consensual butt spank, though. I thought it was the person that I was pleasuring at the time, but apparently it wasn't. I think you also said you didn't understand the curtain aspect. No, we didn't understand. So we may have gotten that wrong as well. Yeah. Thank you.

the person that i was pleasuring at the time but apparently it wasn't i think you also said you didn't understand the curtain aspect no we didn't understand so we we may have gotten that wrong as well yeah and then um your friend said it was amateur hour or amateur evening or whatever it is amateur night amateur night yeah and i have never seen so many wasted chicks like i don't know if you know nerves get the better of you when you first start and i've been a victim of this too you know you drink too much you get nervous you drink and you end up just being messy and we saw so many women i seen i saw five chicks fall down the stairs all downstairs one lady got like just stumble and stumble and catch themselves sorry a hill check what's a hill check oh yeah that one of them was just a heel catch on the stairs yeah and she recovered a lot better than the others but the other four chicks which it you know is a stumble stumble grab the banister just pull myself up okay okay I'm good to go again but they were quite obviously very because it's just a fucking drinking holiday and And that thing I think yeah you got a combination of people who are just out partying for New Year's plus people who are maybe trying something new and then plus people who are stressed and working hard and it's like you're gonna like cut loose and I think that just like it's a big melting pot of just possibly bad and we haven't the upside kate's vagina is not broken we haven't been to a club we haven't been to a club for new years actually yes we have have we yeah we went to oss maybe five years ago i don't think there was longer was that that many messy people or were we just probably too new we didn't realize no it wasn't oh sorry it wasn't that long ago then it might be only three years ago because it was um actually it was about four or five because That's it.

or would we just probably knew we didn't realize no it wasn't so it wasn't that long ago then it might be only three years ago because it was actually was about four or five because by the bias started a podcast directly after they did yeah you're right um so yeah it was uh there were there weren't that many messy people no i think the newbies kind of disappeared reasonably early from that i can't say i learned something when kate says we should salsa dance i understand she does not know how to salsa dance just like i do not when she's like oh we can dance this like i'm pretty sure we can't what she means is let's get up there and give it a great be sensuous she's like put your hands in the air i'm like i don't know why i'm putting my hands in the air you You did.

I was like, put your hands in the air. She's like, why? And I'm like, I'm going to essentially run my hands down to her body. Yeah, I was like, okay. So I put my hands in the air. I'm literally standing. You know how I do the pool. Goal. You're like, goal. I normally, when someone says they want to dance on a stripper pole, I'll go like this and be the stripper pole. Put my hands in the air and make it, you know, whatever. Well, she's like, put your hands in. I was like, okay, why? Because I didn't know what was going on. I thought she was going to snip your armpit, didn't you?

Well, I was kind of worried about that because I had did it to her a couple nights before. Because she told you she was chasing me around with her fucking armpit. Crazy cunt. Here's the casualties from that night. One mesh skirt and, so far, one Crave necklace, which I'm fucking gutted about. I'm gutted about both. But I feel like... He's still working on that necklace, by the way. If they don't find it, casual toys are going to come to the rescue. I believe so. They won't find it. I didn't know how to describe it.

Heather, that necklace with a vibrator on the end, she laughed out loud and said, I'll look find it. I didn't know how to describe it. Having that necklace with a vibrator on the end, she laughed out loud and said, I'll look for it. That's what I got. Yeah. Hey, thank you guys for coming and spending. Aw, are you going to get all the empathy? No, I'm not. Like, tearjerkers? I was just saying thank you. Do you know what's awesome, I? We really meant a lot of us. We spent New Year's in America, and next year we're spending New Year's in Asia together. Yes. Yeah, looking forward to that.

I'm getting blowjobs from Ladyboy. That is on record. Do not lose this. Whatever you do. The batteries are good? Okay, we're good. I can make that happen for you, Jay. There's a special price on the menu to buy Ladyboy drinks, just so you know. Yeah. You better work extra overtime, bitch. It's like an extra 100 baht? No, less than 50 baht.

So that means you've got to work extra overtime bitch it's like an extra 100 baht no less than 50 baht so that means you gotta work extra overtime yeah nope you changed your mind do you have expectations I think he has expectations lots and lots of fucking drinking that's what I expect I don't think so give me an out what are you doing life is short party naked thank y'all fuck I got nothing. Read his shirt. Ah, that's all fixed. Hey. Thank God you're... Cause I felt like it was a sarcastic, it's okay, you're not gonna get... Oh no, that was a... Like patting me on my back, I'm like...

No, that was a total sarcastic. That was a definite... I know, that's why I was shying away like a cat, don't fucking touch it it like shit your cat never shies away from me normally just latches on like a fucking piranha well you kind of scared it this big bald guy coming at me under the bed every time we come here there's some fucking excuse as to why your cat's so mean to us with me it was when i was sitting on the crunchy bed she just doesn't like I am not a fan of urine or species. Yeah. She just doesn't like other people. She just doesn't like people. I am not a fan of urine or peesies.

Yeah, we got a little... Body fluids, not Jay's thing. Nope. Nope. Not my thing either, but... Just a little bit of semen. I'm a mom, so I can clean shit up. A little bit of semen flicked his way.