EP97 – Hotwifing, MFM & Single Guy Dates

Transcript

You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging and non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy, and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. Welcome back, everyone. It's Kate here. This is episode 97 of the Swinging Down Under podcast. Today, we're talking about threesomes and hot wifing.

We've got some audio coming up from Daryl and I, and it is, of course, the Christmas I'll we're Aussies we kind of like to keep it super chill so welcome happy 2019 or the end of I hope you guys are have had a fantastic year and are looking forward to some awesome things in 2020 we've got a lot happening here so we've been a little bit delayed a little bit dodgy with some of the stuff that we've been putting out because we've got so much stuff happening Daryl got a promotion at work plus he's been traveling non-stop And the awesome news is that we have to move in January to find a new place to live in January.

And up until this point, it's been super, I'm going to say frustrating, but that probably downplays it a little bit. It's just been just above beyond ridiculous. Finding a new rental property here in Singapore is crazy. It is expensive. The places are, you know, you don't get a lot for your money. And on top of that, you know, we've been trying to find somewhere that's going to be suitable for where we want to live, right? We have found a new home. Now I know for a lot of people out there, you're like renting is easy. What's the problem? It is really tough here.

But the reason I'm telling you guys this and why I'm so freaking excited is because we have an entire bedroom that I'm now going to dedicate to being a podcast and video studio. I'm so excited you guys that we get to have a podcast equipment permanently set up that I'm going to be able to put some sound barriers in there and that we're going to be able to create just an awesome space with some nerdy stuff on the wall, some podcasting stuff on the wall.

You know, up an inspirational poster or two you know keep at it don't give up that sort of stuff but I'm so excited that we finally get to have this amazing space in which to create more content so I'm looking forward to that it's in January it is right after we get back from our travels coming up in less than four days probably should consider packing and actually now that I think about it buy some travel insurance because i don't have that yet so everything's happening over here uh in swinging down under and in singapore but we are hitting the states soon i can't wait we're actually heading over to texas to go and hang out with some friends of course jay and angie from average swingers and a bunch of their friends and their mates as well so really excited to see everybody over there and as i tell people all the time kind of fill my cup you know we don't get a lot of their friends and their mates as well.

So really excited to see everybody over there. And as I tell people all the time, kind of fill my cup. You know, we don't get a lot of lifestyle interaction here in Asia. And so it's awesome to be able to head overseas, fill my cup, meet other people, talk to other people, get inspired about the lifestyle, and then come back here and slowly depleted in Asia. But we are heading to Dallas, and we're going to be at Colette Dallas for New Year's Eve party, which I only found out, I think, two weeks ago from Jay. He randomly mentioned it on Twitter and I was like, oh, cool.

That's what we're doing for New Year's. So that's where we're going to be. And directly after that, we, of course, I'm heading to Florida. So I'm excited to head down there to Orlando to catch up with Casual Swinger, Double Date Nation.

Of course, we are at Secrets Resort resort but there's a bunch of amazing podcasters listeners locals other people from all over the states going so I'm really excited there to to kind of meet everybody and just kind of hang out and chill a little bit kind of that post new year's uh relaxation but also you know have a crazy party so and after that I am heading down to Miami so I'm excited by that also, really great to head down there. I am doing some work for Podcasterpalooza, like measuring the entire hotel. So if anybody wants to pop on by and help me do that, that would be awesome.

And I'm meeting some of the other people down there, like DJs, the entertainers, these sorts of performers and that sort of stuff. My balloon guy. Yes, I have a balloon guy. Why wouldn't you have a balloon guy? Everybody has a balloon guy, right?

I mean a balloon guy everybody has a balloon guy right i mean gosh it's a balloon dude so heading down there i'm going to go see those people super excited come back here move into our new home start the year of right 2020 look out because i'm fucking coming for you so 2020 i'm warning you now i'm coming for you now guys as we do reflect on 2019 as always daryl and i, really appreciate you all out there listening to us, following us on social media, supporting us by giving us reviews any way, shape or form that you guys are out there, helping us to form a community that really is important to us.

And I want to make sure that you understand that you mean something to us. So please drop us an email, give us an iTunes review, listen, keep listening, you know, tell us what your other favorite podcasts are. And they may be lifestyle related, maybe not. New blogs that you're reading, resources that you found, whatever it is. It has been super special for us in 2019 to be able to reconnect with a lot of people in the community. And I want to keep that going. So thank you very much, guys. If you're out there, you're listening. We appreciate you. We hope you had a great year.

If you didn't, because some people have had a shitty year, I'm not going to lie. There's a lot of people out there who haven't had shitty years. Let's get together and hope that 2020 is going to be a better year for you guys. So thank you again for supporting Podcasterpalooza. Thank you for supporting Swinging Down Under. You guys have been amazing and it is super humble for us to even be able to connect with a lot of you people out there. Now, I'd be remiss while I'm giving out thank yous and congratulations and humbled in support, not to mention our two latest Patreons.

We do have two, so we have Eugene06 and we have Schmitty23. Thank you guys for supporting us on Patreon. Really appreciate it. And let's now talk about the episode. So this is all about hot wifing.

This about male female male threesomes hi g'day guys welcome to another episode of swinging down under i'm kate and i'm here with my illustrious co-host daryl that's me award-winning co-host daryl i've won an award something bearded co-host daryl yes beardemic has struck a household dog owner darryl yes certainly the case also yeah and also did you know that you're a pilot darryl um i did know that yes i'm pretty sure everybody else out there knows that by now as well hey funny story actually uh we are going to be talking about threesomes and hot wifing in today's episode but before we talk about that you are back on field and stumbled upon an interesting profile today yeah absolutely best profile ever okay i wish i had it and damn it i erased the photo i did like him though so hopefully he likes us back oh you actually like proper liked him not as yeah well i mean he's so the the whole you know bio went blah.

I like penis in vagina. By the way, I'm a pilot. I'm like, we must know this guy. But I'm tisk. Not sure that we needed that at the end. Okay, I think we do. Okay, cool. So you liked him? Yeah. Did you super like us Tinder? You just like them on field, don't they? Yeah. And hope that they actually connect with you? Correct. Okay. It's the same on Tinder. No, you can super like people on Tinder. That doesn't mean they connect with you. No, but it tells them and like notifies them. You've got to super like. Yes. So that seems, you know, interesting and exciting. Yep.

I'm just hoping that the dog stands on our board so that you lose your fucking mind. Dude. Because that's going to happen, isn't it?

How do you feel about being put back up for adoption penny well that was a joke but that was horrible that was a bad joke she's in earshot yeah she can hear you she's sniffing around she can't hear me yeah good point so we're four days away from heading over to no five five days away from heading over to texas it doesn't matter texas and you know florida i'm heading down to orlando and then i'm heading down to miami and we just finally just realized shit we better check our visa status for the states Thank you.

And, you know, Florida, I'm heading down to Orlando and then I'm heading down to Miami and we just finally just realised, shit, we'd better check our visa status for the States. Which, good news, we are actually still able to travel to the States. So, huzzah! I'm still able to go even if you're not. That's true. I've got an APEC pass. I actually have one too, but, you know, I don't think I could, you know, lie to the customs agents. I'm bad enough when I see them after a long haul. You mean rely and say they're there on business rather than they're on pleasure? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think you would be able to either. I would not. Especially if he's an attractive dude, you are done. Yeah, I don't. You are getting cavity searched. I'm so not able to do that. It's funny. It's really bad. You'd be like, show me your laptop. And you'd be like, top lap or something weird like that. That was a shit joke. I know. It was pretty shit. You're not on board today. Can I say, can I say, from the feedback that we've been receiving lately, my shit jokes are. or something weird like that. That was a shit joke. I know, it was pretty shit. You're not on board today.

But can I say, can I say, from the feedback that we've been receiving lately, my shit jokes are really well appreciated by absolutely nobody. Yeah, do leave us a review on iTunes or Stitcher or wherever. It's been a while since we've had one. Since you've had one. Give us a nice review. All right, so today's episode we're going to talk about threesomes, hot wifing, nail for my nail.

We about it you know numerous times over the past four years but this one is a little bit different because daryl actually arranged a date for me while he was out of the country and there was a few reasons for that which we'll talk about i talk about a little bit in my audio that i recorded but basically we've been busy you've been traveling Oh, by the daryl got a promotion so congratulations daryl well job well done claps hands yes yes it's good it means more travel it doesn't mean more travel so he's been away more often but we've been so busy and quite frankly i haven't had the time to devote to starting some of these new relationships and it's a bit exhausting sometimes emotionally to like sieve through everybody and then try to start conversations and then go out for dates and so i just got jack of it and you kind of you're still jack of it yeah yeah i'm a little bit jack of it you took the reins so should i just start setting up dates for you and us maybe well that pilot was quite attractive and he's a pilot so yeah i know i've already asked I mean, he hasn't come back yet, though.

He might just be flying through. No, it's not. His profile actually did say that he just moved to Singapore as well. We do actually get a lot of pilots who are actually flying through with Singapore Airlines and stuff like, hey, I'm here for 12 hours. Who wants to ee-oo, ee-oo, you know? Please define ee-oo, ee-oo. oh jesus so so that's what today's about so we recorded some podcast recordings before i don't know yet we recorded So we recorded some podcast recordings before. I don't know yet. We recorded some pre-recordings. We did some recording. Some pre-recording for the.

We spoke and we hit the record button and then that developed some audio. I feel like you're harping. That audio was then developed from that recording. That's what we did. You know what's interesting is all the reviews about how bad my jokes are. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying. You know what it is. People feel so sorry for me that they don't want to pay it out on me anymore because they're like, we're chuffed. She's trying. She's trying. Gold star. Actually, probably silver star. Good job. Bronze star. Nice try. Okay, so let's talk about that.

So first of all, do you want to play your audio and we'll listen to that? Yeah, go nuts. Okay. It was actually really interesting in myself trying to organise a date for Kate without me being around.

For one, how to find the guy and two, then how to deal with him leading up to the event because obviously from his side as well he's probably quite interested in in why we're going this way which has absolutely been the case so how I picked him I think refer to to a podcast a while ago which was the 12 ways to get into C's pants so you know no I think number one in there is and the overarching is is be a gentleman and and ultimately that's what I was looking for in the guy so there were a few different candidates that I actually found all of them through field and um from there really just spent a bit of time trying to understand what, you know, what, what they, what they're about, what they're interested in, uh, whether they're a gentleman, which some of them failed very quickly.

And also, you know, my standard Daryl questions, which is, are you, are you single, uh, which also some of them failed. And then are you a gentleman? Um, again, as as i mentioned before some didn't pass that terribly well either so there was some uh some people cut from the crowd very early on so in the end i finished up with there were there were two guys that that were that i think would have been of interest to to Kate and certainly are of interest to me. They're both internationals. Neither of them are from Singapore, which is purely coincidental.

But surprisingly, both French, which was really unusual.

I mean, I think certainly, you know, we've had a lovely French guy in the past who we really enjoyed time with whether that swayed my decision making or not subconsciously i really can't speak to but i can say that it was um it was mainly because of the fact that they were very polite in their responses and also kind of wanted to understand why why we were doing this and both of them more one more than other which is the guy we ended up with were really interested in understanding whether kate and i would feel safe and happy in doing this now as we got further or closer to the date which is today as we got closer to the date he got more and more questioning around whether he should reach out to kate he's got a phone number now which i did purely i gave him purely in case you know there was any problems like he was late or anything like that but uh he um yeah he wanted to make sure that everything was okay with both me and her which is again quite gentlemanly so how am I feeling about this you know after finding the guy how am I feeling well excited but terrified is always the descriptor this is the first time thatate's gone on a date by herself during the day without me so well without me even being in country as well which adds another whole layer i'm in thailand at the moment so kate's they're really just looking after herself obviously it's a public place public forum and it's the middle of the day so it really shouldn't be a problem um so that's not really a concern to me safety is not really an issue i believe that where where the event is being held she she has adequate people around her to to make a noise to make a kerfuffle if needed to um um you, prevent anything bad from happening.

But outside of that, you know, obviously my concerns around Kate's safety and her own capability to do and say what she feels rather than what is on offer at the time is still always a concern.

You know, even from our very first event that we went to kate managed to put herself in a situation that she wasn't comfortable with so i want to make sure that that's not something that happens again and i certainly don't want to be the the person responsible for helping her get herself into that position so that's a real focus for me as well I am so outside of the concern I'm excited of course I mean I think this is an he's an interesting guy from what I can see he's he's certainly an attractive guy and from what I believe I think he will be a good fit for Kate in terms of his attitude his style and also the way he looks so realistically he should be a good fit for kate in terms of his attitude his style and also the way he looks so realistically he should be a a good all-round fit for what we're looking for additionally he has had some experience which is really important to me and to kate you know and he does and he is looking for a long-term a long-term friendship slash you know relationship with us around uh being friends first obviously and then potentially sexual partners whenever the the interest might strike so he has had that experience in the past he's actually been in in singapore he had a a couple there that were from the uk that that have actually since moved back to the uk so he's suffering the same sort of problem we are which is every time we find someone we like they tend to disappear and go go home it's very very transient and contract bound in singapore which makes life a little difficult sometimes so the um the final part to that is uh i suppose what my hoped outcomes are and and that's an interesting one because i'm actually a little torn on this you know one let's be straight here these are my hope to hope down my wants they're nothing at all to do with what what kate is planning or what she understands or what she wants out of this you know and frankly i'm just happy if we can if she can catch up with a guy that she enjoys lunch with and decides that he's not what she's looking for and and never never catches up with him again you know that's entirely okay i don't have an issue with that however you know being being interested in the other side of things you know i i think this whole hot wifing thing is fucking amazing and it's becoming more and more interesting to me as we go through these interactions.

I really enjoy the idea that Kate might be out with another guy and potentially touching him, potentially kissing him and potentially even more if that's what strikes her at the. And that is her decision in terms of what she would like to achieve. Obviously, we've not discussed this, so I would expect some clarification from her before anything else went on. But ultimately, what I would like to see is probably some photos of just her having sex with another guy. You know, that would be really exciting to me. Also terrifying, but exciting at the same time.

Yeah, that's the ultimate outcome for me, and it's not an expected outcome.

I don't believe at all that it will get to that, and I'm not pushing for that to be the case but it is still something that would be horribly exciting for me to get some messages on the way through my day saying hey we've decided to head off to a hotel or we've decided to do this that that would be really cool for me but that's again for me not for what kate is looking to do so to sum up i would say excited terrified and also pushing some boundaries here both for myself and i think for kate as well we are not doing this purely because i i wanted them to meet separately it's more that we're We're running out of time before we head back to the U.S.

and I'm out of country again as I mentioned so for at least this three days and then by the time we get back we've really only got a weekend left before one last week that I spend at work and then we're off to the U.S.

so we're running out of time to catch up with this guy and these guys and in this case just wanted to make sure that we respect their their time as well and not leave this hanging through to next year which is realistically the next time that we'd be able to catch up with any of them so i'm hoping that kate has a spectacular lunch with this guy and and you know to whatever level she feels comfortable um with some agreement from me along the way to make sure that i'm still comfortable with the vision versus the outcome uh that's basically that's basically what i'm hoping for is just for kate to have the happiest funnest time that she wishes to enjoy whatever that might look like so i guess we'll come back to you guys on how it all goes i know kate's going to do some recording of her pre-feelings and certainly I will do some along the way as well as to how I felt throughout the day I'm about to head off into some fairly long-winded meetings which means I'm you know may not be easily contactable for at least the next few hours.

So I'm hopeful that she has a fantastic lunch and that we have hopefully found ourselves a lovely new guy that we can spend some time with in the future. Okay. So Daryl shared his thoughts there. You were in what? When were you? Bangkok. Bangkok. And you spoke about the fact that you'd set the date up, what you kind of hoped from it and, you know, how you went about it. What made you set the date up though? Like why did you all I don't know. And you spoke about the fact that you'd set the date up, what you kind of hoped from it and, you know, how you went about it.

What made you set the date up though? Like why did you all of a sudden set a date up? What was the reason? Well, mainly just because I found what I perceived to be a nice guy has since actually proven to be a nice guy as well by all accounts to this point. Unfortunately has hurt himself just recently, which is not good. But yeah, he seemed like a nice guy and I wasn't going to be around. And frankly, with your new job, you're not leaving the house often enough. But you were off field though and you weren't paying for field and then obviously- I'm still not paying for field. Oh, really? No.

Oh, I figured you were. So this is all free. Yes. That's not bad going. It is not bad going. Quite frankly, because I was getting also jack of paying for so many goddamn sites. Yeah, no, I'm not paying for Field anymore until I get to the point where the app actually works properly. Okay. I've decided that I won't pay for a system that is not working even remotely well. Okay. Well, you managed to find some people. It is getting better, though. They did update just recently the chat functionality, and it seems to be working a little better, but it's still not great.

Are you ready to hear my pre-date? Yes, absolutely. You know, where I hit the record button and did the audio recording. Yeah. All right, here we go. Let's not take us back through that. Okay, go. Hey, guys. So I'm about to go on a date, and this particular date was arranged by Daryl. So I really haven't had any, any at all interaction with the gentleman that I'm about to go and meet. It's a lunch date, and it's at a wine bar. But I just, I haven't spoken to him. I haven't seen photos, and Daryl has arranged the whole thing.

Now, this was purely based on the fact that I said to Daryl a little while ago, you know, we should definitely try to catch up with another single guy and arrange some dates. But recently I've been a bit time poor and Daryl has been out of the country and I haven't really had a lot of time to, you know, have those conversations backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards with the dates, you know, with people.

And it people and it has been I guess one of those things where it became stressful and almost a bit of a an extra thing that I had to do in my day you know like shit I gotta spend the mental time to respond to this person or what if I'm not responding to them and on top of everything else that I'm that I'm doing and so I basically said to Daryl you know go ahead arrange it like let's make it a surprise and and I'll just go out on the date so I'm about to jump in the shower Thank you.

that I'm that I'm doing and so I basically said to Daryl you know go ahead arrange it like let's make it a surprise and and I'll just go out on the date so I'm about to jump in the shower I just got home from the gym I'm going to jump in the shower and I'm going to start getting ready for this date and I just asked Daryl only in the last hour what the guy's name was but other than that I have absolutely no idea what this guy looks like I know that he's French um but other than that I don't really. So I'm going to go out on a date.

Daryl is in Thailand at the moment, so he's not here to go on a date with me. It's a weekday and it's lunchtime, so we'll see how the date goes. We'll see what this guy's like.

Daryl has picked guys for me and for us in the past, so I have no doubt in my mind that he will be a great guy, and we'll just see how connection you know rolls rolls through um for me i mean it's i'm not really nervous uh you know i probably am a little bit nervous but only because i'm carrying a little bit more weight so that's just more of a confidence thing than than anything else but i have no doubt that we will probably get along that there'll be some laughs and there'll be a fun time at lunch absolutely no doubt on that and then really it's just whether or not we decide to have this gentleman in our bedroom, you know, if there's going to be any more intimacy.

One of the other things that we've been playing with as well is I am a little bit sick and tired of being the person to arrange the dates and be the person to set up everything that basically goes on, especially with couples as well, but especially with single guys.

So one of the things I'm looking for in the next play situation that we have and not necessarily with more of a longer term partner but just we even with a short-term partner is I want to have somebody who's obviously coming traveling in because Singapore is a travel hub coming into Singapore has a nice hotel and I want to basically turn up have them pick the dinner place or pick the cocktail bar or whatever and turn up, have them arrange everything nicely dressed, hair done, makeup on point, and then go back to their, you know, sexy hotel and play in their hotel.

You know, I'm, I'm a little bit over the person being the, the arranger, you know, I really, I want to be treated like something that, you know, a person that's going out on a date, date you know I'm going to be treated with a little bit of that kind of that excitement and also then I want to be has someone just you know want to take me as well and then that would include Daryl this would be a threesome scenario but it's just one of those things where you know I think sometimes it takes a bit of the sparkle out of the date if you're the person constantly seeking out arranging everything like the cocktail bar and the hotel or but coming back to our place like making sure that the house is clean all of that bullshit i just want to remove it all and just have a really sexy fun time so that's also something that i'm keen to do in the future and i have been actively looking at travelers coming into singapore who have really sexy hotels you know and and making sure that hey those hotels are are nice and like that would be something that i think would be a sensual time but other than that i'm gonna go check out uh the shower and i'm gonna go get ready for this date and i'll be back later to kind of talk about the date how it went you know whether i was nervous and all those sorts of things you know i think that this is a great example of how you can do things a little bit differently in the lifestyle.

There's not necessarily one size fits all for everybody out there listening.

You can adapt your lifestyle journey in so many different ways and this is just another way that Daryl and I are trying something a little bit different, something new and something that could be fresh for us to try in our lifestyle lifestyle journey so we hope that you enjoy kind of coming along on this journey with us and this ride with us and then we'll get back to you soon and i hope you're all having a fantastic time i am going to try and go get sexy but like daytime sexy and and then we'll hopefully have a great lunch date and a great uh wine i'm sure there'll be some nice, yummy, delicious wine involved.

So anyway, guys, thank you. Bye. So something to point out there, as you rightly so picked, Daryl, I was actually trying to record in our bedroom upstairs because there was some construction work happening right in front of our house and I took everything upstairs and tried to hide in a walk-in wardrobe and record in there and as I was doing so Penny decided that she was going to break into the bedroom and then basically scratched the door so that's what was going on. Yes that is the consequences of having a dog in the house.

Now you were saying through that whole recording basically this is news to me this is news to me i mean tell me about that well i mean this the the whole aspect of you saying well you want other people to organize this sort of stuff now and you wanted me to organize things that's all new to me i i wasn't aware of that i wasn't aware that you were looking for people coming into the country um with sexy hotels i was aware of the fact that that was an overarching thing yes over the last period but i didn't realize that it was something that you've actively been pursuing yeah i mean look which is how you've described it in the in the which is true i mean the the couple that we slept with the last time that came through from dubai that i we had a hotel room the couple from america that was from houston that had a hotel room and then directly after i said that to you i'm actively looking for a sexy hotel room with a single man and i said that to you about four months ago and then i probably stopped looking about two two months ago so between two and four months ago i've i had said to you on a number of occasions one I want people to arrange the dates and two I want to have them in a sexy hotel room you know I'm jack of needing to clean the house and get everything prepared here and then the taxi ride back to our place like I just want to be you know treated like a sexy date so I mean yeah if you don't if you didn't recognize that although I've mentioned it we've spoken about a number of times maybe I should have said it a little bit more explicitly Yeah, well, I mean, obviously I've got some part to play in that as well.

I didn't recognize that that you that you put that forward so certainly it's not what i've been looking for up until now so i need i need to change what i'm doing no i want both we want i want long-term play partners but i want to have a nice night out like and i think one of the things that would be awesome and you know i hate using the term like princess and blah but that's you know i just want somebody to take me out on a nice date arrange everything for me so all i gotta do is turn up look pretty and if there's a connection we can go back to their hotel room and hotel rooms are sexy anyway i know that we both travel for work so hotel rooms are not sexy they are i think there's no such thing as a sexy hotel room i think they are yeah you know and i want somebody who's obviously in a nice hotel room ideally and to have fun night and like crack some champagne and stuff in their room and like that would be nice just bust open the minibar basically i don't care yeah i mean you want to get drunk on the minibus i want to get drunk on the minibus yeah so there's a story to that i'm gonna, yeah.

There's a story to that. I'm going to leave that sit. So that was a surprise to you, basically, everything that I said in that recording? Pretty much, yeah, absolutely. Okay, there you go, learning something new. Yeah, absolutely. Shall we? I actually recorded a bit of audio right before I went for the date. Do you want to hear that? And then we can talk about the date itself? Yep. Okay. Okay, everybody.

So I have arrived at the lunch slash wine location um there's nobody here at this location however they do have two stores and there's one around the corner and as i got out of a taxi there was a guy who was looking at me however he was in cargo shorts and like a t-shirt so i highly doubt that he's the person that i'm meeting um because cargo shorts on a date even And I'll see you next time. cargo shorts and like a t-shirt. So I highly doubt that he's the person that I'm meeting because cargo shorts on a date, even though it's lunchtime, a bit dodgy.

So I'm currently standing here in a bright red pencil pin-up high-waisted skirt and a olive green type colour silk blouse with no bra on. So I really hope that it isn't the dude that hasn't made very much effort with cargo pants, but I will be back to report on that. I'll let you guys know. Bye. Hey, Daryl, guess what? Not the dude in cargo pants. No, that's not really a surprise.

Getting out of the car and having a guy stare at me in cargo pants, I'm going to say, concerned me because we have had one date there in the past that the dude, you remember turned up with some grocery shopping and he just moved to the country and he had like the homewares and a few different piece bits and pieces do you remember that date yeah i'm not sure you can blame him for that it's a bit weird turning up on a date to a wine bar with like groceries and homeware shopping no it's trying to combine you know saturday lunching with picking up shit for his new house.

I don't know if we can hate on him for that. I thought it was real weird. Yeah.

Anyway, so it wasn't, luckily, it wasn't the dude in cargo shorts, but the date, I sent you a photo of what I was wearing and, you know, dressed up, and actually I did post a photo also to Twitter, all dressed up and ready to go out, and you didn't get to that until hours later later so not only was i on a date on my own and you're in another country but you're also in meetings basically all day you were presenting and so couldn't check your phone so you didn't see the photo of me getting dressed like getting attractive and then getting a taxi and you know i was texting you and i was texting you from the date you didn't see any of until hours later.

Were you thinking about the date when you were presenting? Where was your head at? Honestly, no. Mainly because I was in front of a group of people actually literally presenting. So one... How dare you not think about me like 24-7, 365?

One line of thought is the best I can do at any one time whilst making shit up basically so yes PowerPoint presentation that sort of that sort of thing is what I was involved in and I'm generally the type of guy who who has PowerPoints on on demand but doesn't have a script that goes with them so I generally change the script depending on the crowd that's there so there's no way in hell that I was going to be able to think about the date as well probably poor planning on my behalf to actually set the timing up better but yeah there were some limitations there obviously because he needed to take his lunch break to catch up with you as well that's what I didn't know so I had no idea about this guy at all and I had assumed that he either wasn't working on that day or was a contractor and was between like between contracts or projects or something like that so when i recorded that um audio before i left and i was like yay wine bar and i was really excited and then to get there and i realized it was the not the cheese place just the normal place and that um and then when he arrived he was in business attire and looking sharp, which is great.

I mean, at least he's not the cargo pants guy. But it did take me by surprise that we had a time restriction of like 45 minutes to catch up. You know, I didn't realise that he was on a – It was a lunch date. Yeah, but – Like for lunch. In my head, I was like lunch and a couple of glasses of wine and some cheese. Like that's what I thought. That's a long lunch. I thought, you know, I didn't assume. I assumed it was going to be like two or three hours. No. No, it was not. No, it was never going to be two or three hours. He didn't even have any wine.

No, because he had to go back to work on a work day. I know. So that took me by surprise because I was all like excited to have some wine and cheese. Well, you wanted something that was like, as I understood it, you wanted something that was kind of relaxed and guaranteed that there would be no chance of potential progression. So that's what I put forward. I had a salad and a glass of wine. But the day, so he turns up and he's in business attire, looking pretty sharp. He's just moved. Actually, he's been living here for ages. Sorry. Yes.

I thought that he just he just moved here but he hasn't he's been living here for years and what i found out was that he is used to having long-term partners and the couple that long-term couple long-term couple partners and a pants-on and pants-off friendship and the couple that he was most recently active with had just left the country yep so he was basically looking for you for, you know, more pants-on, pants-off friends. Yes. So that was interesting. And as I mentioned before, he's French.

And, you know, it's always funny going out with French people, especially here in Singapore, because the wine lists are a little bit interesting. So I'm always a little bit worried, actually, that somebody's going to judge my choice of wine, which is funny. But otherwise, what we spoke about was nothing, you know, too crazy.

From now on in, somebody's going to judge my choice of wine which is funny and but otherwise what we spoke about was nothing you know too crazy from now on in i'm gonna judge your choice of wine okay every time we said okay good job nothing too crazy i mean it was uh we spoke about you know his his background um my background uh lifestyle background you know what he's done before what where we've been um he's french so he's obviously been to a lot of clubs over in i'm not sure whether you've recognized this yet but kate has mentioned seven times now that he's french okay sorry so he's been to a lot of clubs in in europe and been to like cup dog and stuff like that and so he has you know a little bit of a different background to is he french and he's french he's's not a pilot though.

And I don't believe that he's a vegan and I also don't believe that he does. CrossFit. CrossFit. But, yeah, I mean, the date was nice. Like I said, pretty short. There was a grandmother and two children that sat next to us about halfway through the date. So that was, again, a little bit peculiar.

But I was looking pretty sexy, I was looking pretty sexy i thought you were looking very nice absolutely and then basically just wrap the date up and then as we left um he obviously hadn't we hadn't spoken at all and you know he mentioned you hadn't spoken at all we hadn't spoken before oh okay hadn't spoken before the date and so he said you know hey can i you know can we all kind of chat now all of us he did mention a funny thing he said that you apparently gave him my number yeah and then shortly after said no no no don't message her yeah i gave him your number in case he was going to be late or something that he could actually pick up the phone and call you and say look i'm or you know it's a business day for him so i was concerned that maybe something you know in business sometimes things happens where you just can't leave right so I wanted to make sure that that wasn't the case that that you didn't feel like somebody just didn't show up so I gave him the option to actually be able to call you should that be the case yeah I think daytime dates are perfectly fine but I think daytime lunch break 45 minute dates it's strange I don't know whether I would like to do that exact date again so what is your perfect lunch date maybe like a sunday brunch or something or like a that's saturday i mean that's brunch saturday lunch saturday lunch where you can sit around and have like a bottle or two of wine you know but you weren't available on the weekend i'm just saying so help me out here what is your perfect weekday lunch maybe we'll go for a 3 p.m meeting and then he'll just you know cut off work for the afternoon and then so it's not lunch it's you know late afternoon thing yeah okay so all right we've just established that kate would like not lunch it would have to be either brunch or afternoon and either way it has to be three hours plus i mean i'm not being picky or anything but so you've got to be able to get through one bottle of wine at least a bottle of wine yeah that'd be nice that can be the um that can be the determining factor so we're only looking for sales people no well because anyone in operations has to go back to work that's not true they could be business owners business owners or sales people yes okay okay i recorded some um audio here from after the date are you ready for that yes okay okay i'm super happy to report that it wasn't the dude in cargo pants so he arrived two minutes late and then was apologizing profusely about being late because he was coming from work he was lovely he was uh dressed well he was really on the same page as daryl and i so he likes to approach the lifestyle as a pants on pants off situation so he's been in singapore now for six years and during that time he's had two couples where he's had this kind of pants on pants off relationship with and he likes to approach it from the same way we do which is that you know you can go out and have like wine tastings you can catch up for dinner for lunch whatever and sometimes you might have sex and sometimes you don't so he's really similar to us in that regard and we also shared the same kind of I guess perils over the fact that Singapore has a really transient population so a month ago the couple that he was playing with they left and went back back home and then also the previous couple did the same thing so we were talking about how sometimes in Singapore it can be really tough which is it's great that he shares that same approach to the lifestyle but it's also great that he understands kind of what having these relationships can look like you know and we sort of spoke about how not everybody here in this country necessarily approaches the lifestyle in the same way not that one way is better or less better than the next but you know that it's a different way of approaching perhaps how people are used to doing it here and you know we spoke about some hotel parties and you know stuff like that here as well so he seems really really lovely and I look forward to catching up with him and with daryl now the best thing about this is that he is an absolute um wine and champagne aficionado and because he's french he always says champagne so he says it properly and he said that the next time we catch up you know he's going to bring some some champagne um a really nice thing as well is that he actually paid for our lunch as well so we just had some salad we had some wine and and he paid for that and and of course I did offer to split the bill but he said no he'll he'll pay for it and you've probably heard me mention this on the podcast a time or two but quite often if we're inviting a single guy out as a couple Daryl and I often will pay for the bill you know we don't expect them to pay for us and we'd like to offer because we're kind of inviting them out this was a little bit different you know he invited us and he invited me out and we went for a date together so he was you know the gentleman and paid for lunch which was really lovely and a couple of times I did reach across the table and kind of touch his arm we spoke about cup dog and stuff like this so it's really nice that he has that cultural background as well you know we spoke about the difference between clubs in perhaps France or clubs in Spain versus clubs in Australia he just got back from visiting a club in Australia last week as well and it was just really really nice easygoing conversation and I had a great time so well done Daryl who picked a great guy and I really look forward to catching up with him again and yeah it was great so he was attractive and well-dressed and gentleman and lovely and so i'm really excited that's my uh that's my piece for today so we'll see what happens next woo so that was your wrap-up of the date i wonder if we know whether he's french no no he's not we don't know we don't know no it's it's a mystery to everybody involved yeah yeah so look i in picking a gentleman, one would assume that he was going to pay for lunch anyway just because that's the gentlemanly thing to do.

So it's certainly not an expectation on anyone. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay, but I would think that if you're going to be, if you're a gentleman, a true gentleman who takes a lady, and look, he didn't really take, like he didn't ask you out. I asked him out to take you out. So there was no expectation that he would pay along the way. I actually figured that it would end up being a Dutch scenario. But anyway, that's good news. I mean, that's another potential mark for the gentleman being a gentleman. Did you know that he'd been to clubs in Australia and stuff like that?

i knew that he'd been to clubs all over the world australia hadn't come up or had it i don't really remember but certainly i knew that he'd been all over the place to different different clubs different events i know we'd spoken about the hotel scene here in singapore you had spoken about that as well yeah and the fact that he didn't really like it he kind of felt like we do that the ladies in the room weren't treated with the i'll tell you what respect that that we would hope they were he he said to me that he has been to a hotel party um here in singapore and he said look the organizers bought a suite but that there were maybe 30 people in the room and his quote we're not savages uh quote.

So I thought that was pretty funny that he was like, yeah, way too many people in such a small proximity and basically just a bit odd. Yeah, well, I mean, certainly we've faced that as well.

But, yeah, I suppose part of my ritual is to find out what they've done, what they've been involved in before, whether they're single and whether they're a gentleman and you know i get guys regularly say well what do you mean by gentleman frankly speaking if they have to ask what a gentleman is then it's likely they're not yeah he said while you were listening to that you're a little bit surprised that he had two longer-term partners here hadn't you spoken about those or just the one couple just spoken about one couple we just spoke about the fact that he had a longer term couple that didn't it didn't i didn't speak to him let's keep that in mind i'd only converse by text so um that's a quite a long conversation 45 minutes you had would probably cover everything that you spoke about yeah a thousand times over i would think yeah and then after after you finish your presentation in front of everybody and you're closing up like what did you think about the dates and then you're able to obviously have a look at my photo that I sent you and see everything else like were you excited how did you feel were you worried were you I was yeah I mean I had my worries which I pointed out in my recording recording so there certainly were some concerns there but you know I generally try to do my best to make sure that there's somebody there who's going to be a gentleman yeah and also you know I set up the location as well which is somewhere that is real is you know public so there's no way that anything was really going to happen yeah and then I mean look for everybody out there who's considering you know hot wifing or having a threesome or whatever especially if there's one person organizing the date i mean how how did you pick that how did you know that i would be interested in this guy both um intellectually and also physically interested how did you know i didn't you didn't and you never do did you just take a gamble well i mean you you do your best to figure out what you know of your partner but do you think you could pick some from somebody for me no no generally no because your idea of um beauty is not the standard line norm you know of what women think is beautiful so i actually asked it i asked this question in a swingers forum recently like could you pick a partner could you pick somebody for your partner and most of the women said that they could definitely pick one for their male partner but most most of the men said my girlfriend and my wife's too all over the place she likes different things all the time her interests seem to be quite fluid sometimes tall guys sometimes short guys sometimes muscle other things like what i thought that was pretty interesting that most girls said they could pick it for their male partners but most men said they couldn't pick it for their female partners so what do you think about that yeah it doesn't surprise me at all because um women are very fluid when it comes to this in my experience that they don't have a standard stereotypical man that they might be involved interested in and short tall i mean even for you beard no beard as much as you complain about it you still have been with many men who have beards so including me now so you kind of forced my hand there honey yeah absolutely i did um so there's many of there's there's just too many iterations for what women are interested in to be actually accurate on a day-to-day basis it depends on the day it depends on your mood it depends on what you'll feel what you feel like you're missing at that time do you think that you could pick a female for me not we're not with any more accuracy than not with any accuracy so you just think that finding a partner for me is basically a stab in the dark pretty much yeah okay like hitting a piñata no because the piñata is a pretty big target it's just a blindfold so i mean if you were give people advice out there who were looking for to pick a partner a third to come into their relationship what would your advice actually be get to know your partner understand what they might be interested in do your best to find them that over a period of time because again day to day that changes uh without pissing them off which is the tough bit and then um do your best to find it that's that's the best you can do right you just do you just do your best do you find that there's any a better success rate between certain apps or anything like that uh between finding single guys and the reason i'm asking that is because a couple of months ago you asked me to jump on tinder and you know obviously we're looking for couples and single men and what i've found is that when i come across a guy on tinder that i think okay physically yeah this guy looks all right you know and then i go to chat with them that they've never had experience with couples before and so my concerns around that are the fact that they just don't know how to act don't know how to be um erection problems problems possibly.

It's because we don't have a couple's Tinder profile. No, no, you're on my Tinder profile. I can't be because I'm not on Tinder. My account has been… Our photo is you and me and then it says non-monogamous couple is our title. Yeah, but that's not what I mean.

You're there as a… In terms of whether they're swiping, you're as a single woman not as a monogamous non-monogamous couple and nobody reads the titles it's tinder it's a pickup app tinder it has no so as a man as a single man tinder is next to useless i would think um certainly for the two months that i was on there it provided absolutely no benefit and And every woman, and to women out there who are on Tinder, every woman who approached me had not read anything about my profile. But the expectation is always that if a man would reach out to a woman, that he will have.

So I think that needs to be balanced up.

Didn't the few ladies that you did connect with, a few of them actually got angry at you that you're in a non-monogamous relationship i remember you told showing me like two or three women that basically said that it's disgusting no no they weren't angry that i was in a non-monogamous relationship they were angry that i was a cheating husband yeah okay they didn't really understand it yeah yeah okay so there's a very big difference there between the two so certainly field is a little bit more accurate in terms of the the rifle shot you're looking for to to pick the right people tinder's probably a little bit more of a shotgun sdc those sorts of things look at sdc and red hot pie if you put up anything around those about being single looking for a single male again the unfortunate thing is unfortunate thing is most of the single men don't read the profile.

And, you know, for Red Hot Pie as an example, we consistently get contacts from people in Australia who haven't read that we're in Singapore and aren't on their way here or understand that we've been living here or anything like that. I got one about two or three days ago that just said hi again. Yeah. You know. And that's the other thing. I mean, there's no other thing. So on the apps though, do you think that when people are conversing with you, that first initial step, do you think that they're more likely to actually converse with you versus just sending an email that says hi?

No, not really. I think it's just more that I've gotten used to the fact that that's the level of the conversation that you have to deal with at the start.

Oh, so you're just used to it and you just weed those out yeah you just weed it out later on with the with the further conversation that typically turns into no conversation how many men did you start talking to before you actually successfully set this date up hundreds no i don't mean actually like i don't mean that initial contact i mean actually having a conversation with you've spoken backwards and forwards a few times and then ended up going, no, no good. Better than 50. Better than 50. I don't know. Wow. Okay.

Well, it's a matter of finding people that are willing to, for starters, be involved in the relationship that we're looking for, which is a longer-term relationship, which weeds out a lot of people. Yeah, it does. A lot of the single men are looking for... One and done. No, that's not true, actually. In my experience, it's not one and done. They're looking for fuck buddies. They turn up, they fuck, they leave. Oh, I see. That's what they're looking for. They're not looking for anything other than that. Yeah. They don't want to have wine with you.

They want to take you home and stick their cock in your mouth. Fuck those guys. Well, no, you won't fuck those guys because they won't make it through my list of requirements. Rigorous testing. So, you know, that's the first test is to understand what their level of sexuality is. You know, I don't mind somebody who's sexual, but your first line shouldn't be, I want to anal fist your wife. You know, that's not the way to go. So, you know, some conversation up front.

This is front this is just for us there are i mean there's so many other couples out there that are looking for exactly what i've just described as what we don't want exactly and that's a really hard thing is to send that initial contact you know i mean one of my first questions as a single man would be what do you guys want what are you looking for and if i'm just looking for getting laid it's actually very simple to to to put forward a profile that gives the impression that you're not that person okay so one of your so if you're a single guy looking you your initial thing would be like hey and then you would go into you know can you tell me a little bit about what you guys are looking for to see if we kind of connect yeah Yeah, absolutely.

And the response would be one or the other or one of a million different outcomes. And, you know, if sales has taught me anything, the ability to ask the right questions actually gives you the right answers. Are you doing a needs analysis on the couple? Is that what's happening there? No, because, you know, we did that in the 1960s. We're now well up into the 2000s. So, you know, we do things a little differently in sales now. It's a good idea, though. I like that way that you'd approach that, the fact that you would ask them initially.

Because also, the other thing is it shows interest in the couple. It's not just saying, here's what I want. It's saying, what do you guys want? It's one of the first questions I ask for us as a couple is what are you what are you looking for yeah and um they're if they haven't responded or if they respond with something that doesn't fit what we're looking for then i immediately tell them that's not what we're looking for so their failure their failure is not asking me first so somebody said to you hey my, hey, my name's Barry Bob Biddley Bob, and then this is what I'm interested in.

I would say I'm not interested in you because your name is ridiculous. And then, you know, what are you guys interested in? You would respond. Yes. Every time. Yes, unless their initial thing was, hi, my name's whatever you said it was, and, you know, I'm interested in slipping my huge cock into your wife's tight pussy. What are you guys into? Whilst eating spaghetti bolognese. Yeah, so, no, I mean, it just depends on how it's – if it's just a descriptor of them and, you know, something about them and then a question around, hey, what are you guys looking for? Not into, looking for.

Very different different one is one is all about sex the other one is about everything yep what are you looking for 100 return right and here's the other thing too that you've just explained there to get a little bit technical and weird is that's an open-ended question as well right so you're allowing that couple to then respond to you in in an open manner as opposed to being a closed question where it's a yes or no answer or it's a black and white you know something like that it's an open-ended it's an open question right so you're more likely to then get more information out of them i would imagine yes absolutely all right so if you're out there and you are a single guy and you would like some information from Daryl on how he looks for single men, what's good to put on a profile, how to reach people, you can send an email to d.swingingdownunder.com and he will get back to you.

But otherwise, you can catch us on swingingdownunder.com anyway and you can get the contact us button. Anything else that you want to mention on why you like hot wif daryl uh mainly because i really enjoy seeing you have a have a good time sexually with somebody else and also the non-sexual aspects is a lot of fun as well i get to potentially have somebody who i consider a friend be involved with you sexually it's it's awesome yeah it has been a while i would like to have a threesome i'd like that okay yeah it's been a while okay actually and i did i. Actually, and I did have...

I could organise one this weekend. You could, yeah. I had a dream the other, or a daydream or whatever the other day with a threesome that involved a female, and rather than verbally talking about it to Daryl, I'm going... I've been writing it down, so I'm kind of writing some erotica, because I figure that way, if I create characters, I can get more information into, you know, written rather than verbal. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see. So I'm going to try and read that on the next podcast as well when I get my button to gear and finish it. Okay, awesome.

All right, thank you very much for listening, guys. Happy holidays to everybody out there, and we will be back in a few weeks with our next episode. So thank you so much for listening.

Really appreciate the hell out of you guys thank you guess what guys we have been nominated for a podcasting award through asn lifestyle so if you have been following us on any of the social media networks you may have recognized that asn media asn lifestyle media are hosting some lifestyle awards in jan January of 2020 and we are lucky enough to have been nominated for the sexiest media resource alongside a bunch of other amazing resources of course in that particular category alongside Jay from Average Swingers as being the biggest cock blocker of the year and alongside Casual Swinger as being the rookie of the Year.

I would absolutely appreciate and love it if you guys could head over to ASN, Lifestyle Media, ASN Magazine, go and vote for whomever you want to. It doesn't necessarily have to be us. We'd appreciate that, of course, if you feel that we are deserving. But jump in there and vote for your other podcasters, other resources, the best party, the best party for millennials. Jump in there and do that.

You don't have to vote for all of the categories because there are a number of photo categories in there but if there's something that you feel particularly interested in or you're passionate about, please jump in there. I'm going to put the link to the actual poll in today's show notes. So all you've got to do is scroll down on your podcast catcher or the internet right now, jump onto that link, jump in there and register it. Of course, it does have to be per email, per IP address.

So only one vote per person, but everybody would really appreciate it if you took a couple of minutes out of your day and did that just for the community to feel like they're appreciated. So jump on, do that. Thank you, ASN Media. Thank you to the people out there who nominated us.

It is such a pleasure to pleasure to be nominated and again we're really humbled by it you know we sit here and we talk in microphones you never know where this information's going and it really means a lot to both daryl and i to be nominated so thank you so much guys really appreciate it and 2020 events they're all on our website i'm not going to ramble about them jump on our website subscribe to, check everything out there. I spent a lot of time on that. Check out who the Swinging Down Under crew is. Come and check out who the team is. I want you guys to have a look at that and report back.

We have three team members. I'm not sure if you knew that to support Swinging Down Under podcast today. Otherwise, guys, happy holidays. Happy 2019. Happy 2020. Fuck it. Let's celebrate it now. Thank you so much for being a part of our community. Thank you for being a part of our podcast. We love and respect and appreciate you all. Okay. Bye guys. That's me signing out. Ciao. You can catch us on Twitter at Swing Down Under. You can also catch us on Instagram, Swinging Down Under, or head over to our website, SwingingDownUnder.com.

If you would like to send us an email, do it at cnd at SwingingDownUnder.com. You can also support the podcast through our website by clicking Oh my god. an email do it at cnd at swingingdownunder.com you can also support the podcast through our website by clicking through on any of the affiliate links or alternatively through jumping over to patreon.com forward slash swinging down under and sponsoring the podcast