EP102 - Gay Men & NonMonogamy

Transcript

You're listening to Swinging Down Under, a podcast about the swinging, non-monogamous lifestyle from two crazy Australians with over four years of lifestyle antics to keep you entertained, informed, angry, happy, and horny. Join our international swinging adventures. G'day, everyone, and welcome to episode 102 of the Swingin' Down Under podcast. We are joined... Do you know what a stardate is, mate? Do you know what a stardate is? He doesn't know what a stardate is. That's alright. Stardate. Neither do I. Stardate. No, it's okay. Stardate. It's a Star Trek thing. Don't worry. I don't really...

The music that you play before we start talking. No. enough maybe we can incorporate it hey uh we are joined by nate uh all the way from australia here in singapore in a studio yeah that's a that's a fluffy thing all right seem a little tense over there dude like you you know well when i was hoping when we're going to do this, I was going to have a bit to drink, but we're not going there. Oh, fuck, yeah, we haven't. I mean, it's only 10 a.m., we haven't had anything to drink. We can get you a drink. You want one? We can pause this and go get one. I think we should. All right.

Hey, we'll be right back. Actually, let me intro the episode. So this is the episode. We're going to title this one Gay Best Friend. Nate is with Jay and they're based out of Brisbane, Australia. We're going to interview him about our relationship, about coming out, about being non-monogamous, about gay stigma and much more. And then we're going to hear a... Gay stigma? No, I didn't know that was on the list. Oh, it's happening. This is why I should never get a brief because halfway through some random shit pops up that I've got no idea.

And at the end, a delightful story, a delightful tale by Nate about going to a local strippers club. So we're going to go make a drink and then we're going to come right back and we're going to talk about all those things and more. Is this where the ads come on? This is the ad break, yeah. Okay. What are we selling? Oh, Anal Lube, sponsored by Swing It Down Under Podcast.

We have Anal Lubeube no don't you just use dishwashing liquid no I thought it was Danka rubble like no I'm always terrible it just it's too thick and it gets to sticky just say stick with the normal stuff there you go so you've got anal now we've got a whole bunch of product we can't sell mm-hmm because you've just because the person we brought on just destroyed your branding that's all right we're getting a drink we'll be right back so back nate what are you drinking jd and coke okay there you go jd and coke there you go bourbon it tastes disgusting i don't know what you're doing with it hang on so i'm drinking scotch and coke how are you doing over there with that actually they're like she's the one in the room who has the problem here.

Equal levels of problems. So, I mean... Are you drinking, like, peach vodka? Yeah, I mean, you're drinking peach vodka. Yeah. I mean, you might as well just strap a vagina to the outside of the glass. I don't know. It might mess up the pH levels, and then we all know how that goes down. Too sugary. Good point, good point. So, Nate, you are with Jay. How long have you guys been together for? Six and a half years. Six and a half. And where did you meet? We met on Grindr. Ooh. And was his first message or second message to you about anal fisting like the recent guy in Phuket or different?

It was a bit more loving. A little bit more loving, yeah. It wasn't like, hi, how are you? Do you like to fist me? No. It was nothing like that. I actually dropped my girlfriend off at the airport and got in the car and I was heading back because I had to drop her off the Gold Coast airport, so I had to drive back to Brisbane and there was a car accident on the highway. So I was sitting there and I thought, oh, well, she's out of the country. I might have a little boy time.

And downloaded Grindr, and there was his profile, so I sent him a message and a few days of chatting, and then I got absolutely drunk on a Saturday night and went back down to the Gold Coast to get some beach and sun, and I invited him to come down and meet me. Then a big storm came through, and we ended up at the surf club and a few little knee rubs and hand touches.

Before you know it blow jobs in the car park no it wasn't like that so and then i invited him to my place in brisbane and then he come and never left yeah i was gonna say because you basically have been living together for a long time right really yeah so when my girlfriend got back from overseas that was like a bit of a problem. A little bit, yeah, I can imagine so, yeah. And so I had to sort that out. And then we were apart for, oh, well, seeing each other. And then six months, then he moved in. And then you haven't been together ever since.

And you had a very special, a very special moment recently. Yes, we did. We got married. You got married in Brisbane. So what a, I know, what a tremendous, tremendously exciting message that I received from you. Thank you.

a very special moment recently yes we did we got married you got married in in brisbane so what i know what a tremendous tremendously exciting uh message that i received from you hi by the way i'm married yeah hi by the way definitely probably one of the best days of my life so far definitely it was one of the best days of my life awesome so we're gonna we're gonna share a little bit about uh your history with jay a little bit about our history together being friends uh do you actually know how long we've been friends for right now? Because I have no idea and if you've got... 23 years.

23 years. Yep. I'm just going to let that. That's how old you're going to feel? I'm just going to take a sip of my drink now. Holy shit. So we met each other when we were like two. Nah. Fuck me. Yeah. We were actually still semen. Yeah. We're in the womb. Holy shit. I'm still reeling from that. I don't even want to talk about that anymore. Let's move on. I do. I don't at all. 23 years, so how long have you known each other for 23 years? How old were you when you met? Because you were younger than Kate as well. We weren't even a glimmer in our dad's eye at that point. That's how that...

No, I'm trying. I'm trying, we weren't. This is hilarious. I can't remember. We'll have to work out the... Wasn't it when you were like 18? Because it wasn't before then. No, we used to ride the bus together. I would have been 10. We used to ride the bus together to school. Yeah, I'm 33. 23. Oh, you were just winding me up.

Because you know it's early i was yeah no i don't like it i would have been 10 i don't like it at all just got a fairly significant problem with her age at the moment so it was just a bit of a bit of fun yeah i feel yeah we did have a bit of a moment the other night okay did you was there hugging and tears yeah I like it I talk about your coming out story so you just mentioned a second ago that used to have a girlfriend so for a large part of your life you with females with ladies yeah I was 26 so I had been with guys guys before that but it was just you know a bit of fun it was nothing any serious i could never see myself with a guy because it's just not what i suppose was ingrained into me growing up and i assumed that you know i was gonna have a wife and a heap of kids and pick a fence and pick a fence, Labrador.

Ford in the driveway. Yeah, you know, Ford station wagon. Good Lord. Now, Daryl, you've known Nate also now. It's just the same. The only difference right now for Nate. It's a P instead of a V. It's a P instead of a V. No, no children. No children. How many dogs do they have? Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Two. Yeah, the only difference in the children is that they're furry. Yeah, they are. A little bit more hairy. Yeah. You've never been able to do that. You've never been able to do it.

You've never been I know Daryl you've known Nate now for as long as we've been together for 11 years yep and a little longer actually yeah and so you've seen this you've seen this change and you've been there as well like when you first met Nate and he was I i'm gonna tell a little funny shagging the pants shagging the pants off of a lot of women yeah absolutely it was like shagging you at a point there you were shagging like two two ladies a weekend and maybe even more yeah yeah you you were i feel like you were trying to fill a hole it was it definitely well maybe i think it's so you...

So you've known Nate as well and known us together. And then equally from your perspective, like when you met him, he was with women. When you met him as well, we were monogamous and a lot's fucking changed, right? When I met Nate, it was long before we weren't even together. We were friends at the time because we used to come down and visit you. Absolutely. It was a long time before, maybe three years before, two years at least. Thank you. Thank used to come down and visit you. Absolutely. It was a long time before, maybe three years before, two years at least, I think I'd met him.

Well, let's talk coming out stories. But the reason I want to go to you first, Daryl, is because of the fact that you weren't involved in Nathan and I coming out to each other directly at that moment. You know, I told you later. And so I'm just curious about what your thoughts are about the difference. The lack of involvement? Well, yeah, that as well. You know, having a conversation with me, then later talking to Nate about it, you know, what your...

Well, I mean, I have to say, if we're stepping back into the coming out stories, the biggest surprise for me was definitely Nate because he's the most heterosexual gay man I've ever met in my life. And you're not the first one to tell. So me and Jay, when we actually had someone come over recently and all he kept saying was, is he gay? And I'm like, yes, mate, you'll find out.

What, do I have to suck a dick in front of you jesus yeah so um no i think uh it was i was i suppose i was a little surprised but then not surprised once i thought into it about when you came out it was kind of a surprise but then i went oh that kind of explains why the weekends were always so so vigorous when you were you know when you were younger in terms of chasing ladies so it kind of was and wasn't but i had no issue with you i don't have an issue with you telling anyone in fact there's still a group of friends out there that you haven't told that i think one there's only one couple that i haven't told probably that probably should have that have that privilege to understand that's i mean obviously it's got to come up in conversation because i don't ever walk into a room and you know just announce to everyone that i'm a swinger you know i don't walk into a room go hi i'm nate and i'm gay you know i know it's it's just hilarious that people think that you should do that so that's not what i'm saying but certainly i think well i mean if you look at what the male of that couple all of his friends he's he had six close mates he went to school with were all you know they're all blood-red males blood-red australian males and you know tough and all of them are now have well three of them are married to to men and and the other four are openly gay so he's the only person in his group that hasn't decided that he's you know know, or hasn't...

That's living more of a heteronormative type. Yeah, well said because I was struggling for the words there. Yeah. So, yeah, so it's interesting that I think he'd just go, I don't give a fuck, why are you even telling me this? Yeah, and look, he might. My concern is with her. So my good girlfriend who, yes, we haven't told. I don't know whether I will. I mean, maybe, you know, Nate, we can speak a little bit more about that, just how is it being on the receiving end. But, I mean, from your perspective, Daryl, ha, ma. Poor choice of words. Sorry. I'm excited to get home.

I'm sure Jay's happy to have you on as well. Was there any, you know, was there shock involved? Was there concern? Was there excitement? Was there just nothing? No, not at all. It was just a... It's another conversation. I would have assumed that it was just a conversation.

I'm expecting that there may have been, you know, some emotion involved in it from you and Nate, but I would have thought that you've known him long enough now that I'm not sure there's much kate could do right now or something she could tell you that would that would destroy the friendship it'd have to be something fairly fucking full-on i would think yeah i'm sitting here trying to think of something yeah i know i mean it's it's so i didn't think it'd be an issue you know there's there's a few friends in life that you hang on to forever and whether you speak to them every week or every month or you know even you might only catch them once every six months or something like that there's a few friends in life that you never that never go away and i think that's certainly what nate is for you and i'm i'm assuming that's what kate is for you and you just got back from visiting brisbane like literally last night at midnight daryl and i and I think the person that you just visited, you fit into that mold too.

Yeah, we've known each other for 13 years. So just FYI, I knew you before I knew him. So 13 years we've known each other, and I knew you for probably a year or two before that. Yeah, but it's the same thing with you guys. Like, you might not talk all the time, catch up.

Yeah, we don't talk all the time, but every time we do catch up, it's like nothing's changed except except we've gotten older yeah all right i'm gonna go i'm gonna go to you nate um i i remember the exact moment that we technically came out to each other or did i remember how fucking terrified kate was before she told you that was the funniest part of it and and i remember where i was i remember exactly what happened the whole bit and i'm just curious if you remember as well. Sorry, remember exactly what happened, the whole bit. And I'm just curious if you remember as well.

So I don't remember coming out to you, but I remember you coming out to me and exactly where I was, what I was doing and everything like that. So I can't remember when I told you. Same conversation. It wasn't the same conversation. Yep, exactly. So that's probably why it's really stuck in. Yeah, it was the same.

So basically we came out to each other on the exact same phone call and I was in Sydney, I was in my office and I went downstairs and I was near the coffee shop and I walked outside and I remember you telling me, I need you to tell you something, I'm in love with this guy, his name's Jay, this is what's going on and everything else. And I said, I think I was trying to make you feel like it was okay. And so I was like, that's fine, I'm a swinger, it's all good, and we have a podcast and we do this and we do that. Like there's any comparison between the two of them, that's the funny thing.

There's not, but I felt the need to say. No, it's just there's, you know, it's just we're both now fringe dwellers somewhat, right? I mean, certainly I think homosexual or gay relationships are a lot more accepted now than what swingers are as a general rule. Depends on the country, but yeah. Depends on the country, it does. It does, absolutely. But I think even, you know, we look at a place like Singapore, has there been any opportunity for you to find men in Singapore? Not at all. No, he says, whilst nodding his head.

Well, look, I did go out and I did, you know, there was sort of like no touching or anything like that and then it's sort of like you know hit two o'clock and it's like i got asian groped it was like everyone that was walking around was like oh i need to touch that okay this is lovely i might go home now yeah yeah so i mean but it's funny because you know you know and we all know and probably all of our listeners know at this point that a gay relationship is illegal in this country but there's still plenty of places that you can achieve that. And it was actually quite a good club.

I thought it was really good. And it's like one of four or something. Yeah, there's like four all next to each other. I was looking at my credit card statement and it was like here and then here and I'm like, I don't remember leaving a certain place but they're all next to each other and you just walk from side to side behind that too. I mean, we just finished up. We're still sort of in the crux of Pride, Pride Month at the moment and I think there is a big difference because people have fought for the rights to be who they are. Oh, no, absolutely.

So, yes, to your point, Daryl, really there's really no comparison, no need for me to turn around and go, well, I'm a swinger, to try and... No, that's not what I... No, no, but you're right. But from my mind I was trying to give something away, yeah. That's not why I was saying it, though.

I was saying it because I think there's still a distinct difference between the two in terms of the potential outward perception because even being, I think, either a hetero couple or a gay couple who then says, well, we're in an open relationship, I think there's still some additional stigma applied to that. Well, we're going to talk about that too because I've got some articles that I want to cite. But, Nate... Nate hasn't said anything yet. I'll keep interrupting. Nate, where were you? What was happening? What did you think? Did you know it? Were you thinking about it? How did you feel?

With... With me sharing my story with you and then did you feel nervous sharing your story with me, if you remember? Yes, I do. And I was going to say before, there's only been like a few times that I've been, really nervous about telling certain people. And I think it's because you're so close to them and you don't want this to impact the friendship that you've got. So that's something I can tell you on less than one hand, the people that I was really, really nervous to tell, and Kate was one of them.

And then I must be honest, when you told me that you're a swinger, I didn't really know what was I really wasn't I suppose I was very naive in that I didn't realize you know married people sort of did that so I was just the dirty ones yeah so I had to sort of maybe google or check out and really think what it was and I didn't understand what it was like and how yous were what swinging meant for you if you know what i mean like is it was it just something that you'd get a girl in every now and again was it something like you know i didn't know exactly what what you meant by hi i'm a swinger yeah you know so i'm like oh what what does this mean so like how far into the and i didn't realize it was a lifestyle that was making you that i've learned from the podcast and listening and what the conversations we've had so it's been a big learning curve for us and then sort of obviously how far into the lifestyle you go yeah and so you and so you were nervous to tell me I think honestly I I do think that there is it's funny because I think when you get closer to people like we'll go out in the street and you're happy to tell random people, right?

I mean, we met somebody the other night and I was like, hey. And we sat there and we were joking. There was this guy that came and sat down. We just got back from Phuket, by the way, in Thailand. Guy came and sat at our table and he just had a blue with his girlfriend. He was having some problems and he said, you know, she knew that we were out and I said, it's all right, buddy. He's gay and I'm a swinger. Like, you couldn't be at a table full of people that were so different and diverse. But I think it's easier.

Why is it when you're in clubs in other countries you can't help but tell people that you're a swinger? Even people that you work with. Like, you're sitting there with a guy and you tell him that you're a swinger, which is interesting. Yeah, I think that, again, I think that it's easier to fob off somebody who has a problem with that.

You say to somebody, hey, I'm gay or I'm a lesbian or I'm bisexual or I'm a swinger or I'm whatever, I'm pansexual, and if that person, that random person says, oh, I don't like that or that's disgusting or whatever, I think it's easier to fob that person off and say, well, you mean anything versus somebody in your country no no i'm just saying versus somebody people that live in this island how many of them do you think you'll run into again i'm saying versus the people that you care about yeah yeah of course yeah no absolutely that's no doubt at all i'm just talking about why you feel the need to tell random strangers in every other country when you're traveling and drinking that you're a swinger.

It's like, you know, we said before, you don't walk into a room and yell it out. But, I mean, it gets pretty close to that for you. Well, I think sometimes this is kind of nice to feel like you can be yourself with no judgment. So maybe don't do it in a country where it's illegal, like Thailand. Maybe don't do that. Do it in a country where it's not illegal, like Singapore or Australia. But you get to Thailand, you're like, yeah, look at me. I'm a swigger. I'm in an open relationship. How could swinging be possibly illegal in Phuket? It's considered adultery, my friend.

I didn't realise there was any morals in Phuket. I found them now. Yes, yes. it is 100 percent not allowed in thailand for for people to exchange so there's probably why i i met maybe had the story because i was wearing a wedding ring sorry what was that because i was wearing a wedding ring remember what i told you before about my one and truly and only valued... Nate has a theory that he was wearing his wedding ring to Jay and that may have caused the other person concern. I think it does. Looking back, I think it caused a lot of people over there concern because they kept asking about it.

Really? Well, I think probably too. I mean, if there is a stigma and historical representation of married people going to certain countries around the world where they do engage in brothels and sex work and then it is done without the knowledge of the other partner. So, I mean, if that's your norm, then having somebody walking in with a wedding ring and saying, no, Jay's aware, I can show you the text messages, he knows what's going on. Keep in mind that it's not illegal in Thailand, but it's certainly not legal. It's kind of decriminalised would be the best way to say it. To be a gay male.

To be a gay male. Gay marriage is still not allowed. That's still not a thing. So, I think they possibly just assumed that you were married to a woman and then wondered whether you were just while you were in Thailand having some fun. Okay. Thank you very much. Thank woman and then wondered whether you were just, you know, while you're in Thailand having some fun. Okay. Maybe. But anyway, you'll never know. Let's talk about the perception of gay men being non-monogamous. So, Nate, you and Jay, when we first, when you first started seeing each other, you were monogamous for a very long time.

About five years. Five years. So, same, sort of similar to us then.

We were monogamous for five years long time and i remember about five years five years so same sort of similar to us then we were monogamous for five years right looking back you i remember you telling me one time that all of your other gay friends weren't monogamous you know and you were telling me that a lot of them you know you go out and a lot of them just have a bit of fun and whatever i mean what was that like for you being in a monogamous relationship and then kind of having that complete opposite influence around you where everybody else isn't did you feel pressure did you feel did anybody ever ask you like why aren't you because i suppose the whole non-monogamy thing really wasn't my idea in the relationship either so it didn't really even cross my mind like don't get me wrong there'd be people that i'd walk past or see or hang out with and be like oh yeah you know i could definitely go there and whatnot but when like to where we are now and how we got here i think it was definitely more influenced by jay so even being surrounded by non-monogamy i think there was definitely a part of me that was sort of thought oh yeah that would be fun but it wasn't something that i desired but in saying that now we've sort of opened up the the can i'm probably now more slutty is that the word you're looking for yeah slutty yeah slutty's a good word in this house by the way i'm more wanting to get my slutty on yeah then what jay is jay's like no let's just it's this and that was fun but we don't need to do it every minute of the day where i'm like we just need more you know so he started this now he's got to deal with the consequences that's good though so basically in your community though having friends that were all gay and and non-monogamous you didn't they never pressured you and they never asked why you were monogamous or anything like that you didn't have anybody quite respectful okay yeah I wouldn't say that there's been anyone that hasn't been six like respectful when we've been out and stuff like that we're just going no like we know me and Jay have been out in clubs and stuff and guys would come over and want to dance with us and tell us like you know but we're like a power couple and give us all these compliments and all this sort of stuff and want to come home and we're just like, nah.

And they're pretty good about it. Yeah. That's good. I like it. Consent, respectful. It's good. So I actually did an Instagram poll and I asked a question and I said, do you think that there is a perception that gay men are non-monogamous?

And 75% of people people said yes when looking at gay relationships they absolutely think that all gay relationships 75 are non-monogamous i thought that was really interesting because if you ask that same question for a heterosexual couple i don't think you would get that answer at all i think it'd be very much flipped maybe 15 20 percent yeah that is uh well i mean did you put a caveat on thereensually non-monogamous? Jay and I know other gay couples that have been together for 10, 15 years, completely monogamous.

And they swear black and blue that they've never done anything, never desired to do anything, completely monogamous.

And that's why I said, though, I used the word perception in that poll for a very particular reason, because I think the outside world looks in at heteronormative relationships and they say oh monogamy and i think that that also applies to gay men and and then people look into that and there's a perception of non-monogamy did i'm curious did you extend that to include um gay females so lesbian lesbian couples no i said i said gay men really interested in seeing what the the differential in the answer is there because let's be fair men men are typically presumed to be more sexual than women bullshit i i agree with that 100 you look at you look at okay here's a perception it's perception your husband cheats on you and why does he do it he can't help it like.

There is no version of that where... Hang on, I wasn't talking about that at all. No, but I'm just saying that's what I'm saying about men being more just sexually driven, you know. I think there is a perception out there. My take on this is men can have sex with no feelings and I find that a lot more men can have sex without feelings. Without the emotion attached to it. Without any emotion to it whatsoever. And I think females I'll see in my job. Let's ask the only female on the room. What do you think? I don't know. Penny, where are you at? So, no, I think men have been...

We've been allowed to be more sexual for a lot longer than women. You know, that's what I think is, it comes back to the social programming, right? Men have always been allowed to be studs, but women have always been, you know, the negative term of slut if they do anything more than, you know. Certainly I think that's changing now as people get, as people become a little bit more open-minded.

You look at us at at school if a girl had sex with one or two guys she's a total slut total slut and then if a guy did that had sex with three or four women total legend yeah so i think there's a there's a so there's a social programming part to that as well that we've all been brought up the men have been brought up typically i mean i was never told not to have sex i was always just told make sure you don't get them pregnant yeah right whereas whereas i think the opposite and again mansplaining women's sexuality here so i think for the majority of women it's still you know stay stay safe don't have sex their parents seem to in my experience their parents seem to be throwing that out was that your experience kate given that you're the only one in the room with the vagina i wasn't i wasn't allowed to wear a skirt i remember i got my first skirt i don't know whether you remember this this might have been a lead up you may actually even remember this i i never used to wear like skirts or anything because i wasn't allowed to i remember i got my first skirt when i was about 16 years old and i was going through my goth stage and that was it.

And then you're wearing a skin tight, a shortcut dress with no underwear.

I did make a massive change in you because I think when you sort of moved to Sydney and then I come down and seen you in Sydney and then I was like, you were like, you've got your boobs out, the girls out, you're wearing like nice little dress with this leather jacket over the top and i was like with some heels i was like here is this person you know the bright blonde hair and like and i was like hang on a minute this is not sort of the cape that i remember from many many years ago like you know yeah honestly because growing up you know from my mum's perspective sluts wore skirts didn't matter if you're even engaged in sexual activity but if you were wearing a skirt you're a slut there's you're trying to be provocative you're trying to get the attention of guys i mean we've gone a bit off topic but i mean yes i think there is a definitely a difference between sexuality and how you're raised that then opens up yeah so that's why i think i'd be interested in the the response percentage rate if we did a the same question for lesbian couples as to whether there's a perception of the same and i would i would hesitate to guess or hazard a guess sorry that there would be a a very big difference in that response right all right well how about how about we do this how about we try to get tiff and rachel from the sapphic swingers podcast on here right lesbian couple we can ask the same questions on instagram we can interview them we can see what the differences are flip black block done i'm just by the way tiff and rachel if you're listening you're now coming on our podcast thanks for that so you've already agreed to that um but look what i what i did do though looking looking into this a little bit nate is um i was curious about that 75 percent of most people saying that perception of gay men are non-monogamous i started googling right because that's what i do and i found one article that's from tom brewitt therapy from 2019 so about a year old and it says understanding the monogamy spectrum in gay relationships the opening paragraph says a beautiful thing about the lgbtqi relationships is that we don't have to blindly follow heteronormative coupling constructs we can create relationships that work for us and have a spectrum of whatever we choose to be monogamy to non-monogamy and everything else and i thought that was really interesting because you don't see many articles that talk about you choosing your relationship for again they're saying they don't have these uh heteronormative constructs i thought it was interesting whether whether the inability to marry may have helped that along as well.

Possibly. Historically, yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, historically, even up until last year, I think it was in Australia. You're probably going to get some really bad hate mail, if I'm going to say this. Like, I didn't even want the gay marriage, even though I'm married now.

Okay, how do I put it it i wanted us to do something a little on our own yep be be different not call it marriage i come up with my own world word and i said i called it item natural which means like same love yep right so i'm not getting married i'm getting item natural right because i wanted um people that are gay to do their own think let Let's not stand there and copy what the heterosexuals are. What is expected of the heterosexual world. Yeah, what was expected. But look, we really, really rallied for it in Australia.

I did become a part of it because so many of our friends really wanted to do it. Me and Jay always spoke about getting married, but we didn't want to get married. So I'm absolutely stoked now. I'm so lucky that, you know, Australia has allowed it. But you're more along the lines, you wanted to forge your own path kind of thing. I get it. And the way that we got married, we didn't do the typical marriage neither. And that's what I said.

I said, if we're going to do this, I'm not doing, you you know inviting everyone around to do this and you know have the person stand there and say all this stuff and like you know all like all the other heterosexual weddings i've been to i was like no i mean i'm not doing it like that yeah i don't want to do it like that i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting your own thing i think that's perfectly acceptable yeah absolutely i think the the title marriage is something that that i still struggle with in of whether it's heterosexual, gay relationship. It really doesn't matter.

I think the word marriage these days is entwined with the legal phraseology that means to effectively become a couple, a long-term couple that has the same rights and privileges as a a married couple you know that so i always for me it's always been more marriages i've always found the word marriage tied to the religious marriage like a marriage ceremony where you go to a church and you stand in front of a priest whereas the majority of weddings now in australia are not done that most of them are in a park, at a beach, at your favourite vineyard, for example, for us.

You know, you go to locations where you have a natural holding. Yeah. And for me, I didn't see why the word marriage needed to be involved in anything. I mean, certainly marriage is not what we were.

We just went and had a wedding, which gave us effectively us effectively the legal right of being a couple well i remember about five years ago you said no it's a commitment ceremony yeah it is it's a commitment ceremony i think it's all yeah no no which is fair i mean i don't think that's a very pretty way to describe it it's a pretty ugly way like a commitment ceremony sounds pretty ugly so put it out there does everyone have any new words mine was item nuptial let's put it out there we need not sure what was it called I damn not sure I them my damn okay I damn I don't know sure natural gotcha like Spanish the same level I mixed two words like I can't remember I was drunk and I come up with it so okay just real quick and I'm gonna put some links to these in the podcast study I don't know why i said study then oh because the first word here study i'm going to put links in the podcast notes but another one from january 2019 this one is titled study reveals gay communities uh nichest kink monogamy and that's a really interesting read talking about again it's talking about the fact that almost being monogamous is very rare in that in the community and and there is there a stigma against that so can i ask have these been written by heterosexual white men no these are written by gay people most of them actually yeah one of them's in the huffington post and it said gay men should do whatever they want in relationships fair call so should anybody thanks mark.

Mark's a bit of a Captain Obvious right there, but anyway. Good title. And then another one also from Mark. So he wrote two for the Huffington Post. This one says, are gay men scared of monogamy? So I'll share those. I mean, we're using HuffPost as a citation for our podcast. No, I really liked Mark's writing. That's why I brought them in. I was going to say, because it's a bit terrifying, because HuffPost isn't exactly right up there in terms of the level of journalism excellence, I wouldn't think. Sorry, Mark, if you're listening, which I'm assuming you're not, because this is...

S-H-O-L-D-O-N-I-T-E. Right. All right, let's move on from the perception and the stigma associated with that. Let's talk about being more sexually open. Daryl, do you think... Ask him. He's the guest. No, but I want to see your opinion first so then I can flip over to him. Do you think that, again, whether it's a perception, whether it's right or whether it's wrong, do you think that gay men are more sexually open, sexually adventurous? Yes or no?

Well, that is a question that I do need to ponder for a second because i don't i don't know that uh in my experience with gay men and it is somewhat limited honestly you know um i've never really found gay men to be any any differently any differently attributed wherever you are with the exception of when you're out on out on a night having some drinks and partying and and there does seem to be a little bit more i think it's just a little bit more interactive when you're involved in the like on a dance floor or anything like that it's it's a lot less um it's a lot less artificially constructed you know there's a lot less well let's dance with a woman you know like it's just people dancing and then there's not really any real issue with some interaction as well on the dance floor whether it be just grabbing somebody and twirling them or something like that it seems to be a lot less concerned about what the what the you know the concern again if you add a woman into this bowl is that there's there's the perception that you might offend just because of some sort of traditional sensibility or something like that.

So I think there's a lot less of that. It would be my only thing. But in general, I would say no. I think from what I've experienced, whether it be lesbian or gay relationships, I've never really experienced too much in the way of difference. So, Nate, I asked this question on Instagram as well, and I said, again, do you think gay men are more sexually open, more sexually adventurous? And the majority said yes as well. So I thought, again, pretty interesting responses.

Now, thinking about your interactions on Grindr, right, because we were sat there at the bar the other day in Phuket, and're looking at Grindr and within five seconds, I think somebody didn't even say hello to you. They said pics, question mark. The next message somebody sent you was like about the anal fisting, which was their, I think, even their lead-in. You've both been asked about anal fisting. We have, yes. This is something you have in common. Ah.

Kate's also been one of the second buddies second line in second line in kate's message one of kate's message streams was uh i'd really want to anal fist your wife he thought he was talking to me but he wasn't so i mean but your experience though because you've been in monogamous uh relationships with women and now that you've opened up that's a good question just stepping back. Have you ever been in a monogamous relationship with a woman? Long-term monogamous relationship? Yes. Okay. I'm just checking. Yes. Yes. Yeah, okay. Friend is time. Yep. And so... I hated every fucking second.

Why would you make me think about that?

Thinking about, though, your interactions now, though, I mean, looking at dating back then, dating then dating dating now opening relationship up do you think there's a vast difference between the way that men and women interact and date i think we've just got better platforms and better access to it because i'm pretty sure that you could get that in straight society or heterosexual society as well i'm sure there are people and even people the men that identify as straight that want that from a woman so i just feel that it's probably seen more in the game because we have these really great apps and stuff that make it easy you know because you know i've met my life partner on grinder i've also could right now get on there and probably walk three metres and fist someone.

I just think it's because they're able to, and they're not going to get, what's the word? Shamed. Shamed for it. If that's what he wants, that's fine. I just wrote back, and you've seen me. I just wrote back, no, thank you. I don't want to come around and fist you. Yeah. And I don't really care. That's what he likes. That's his business. And if he, and I bet you any money, and I really hope that he got what he wanted by the end of the day, didn't have to search too long. That's what I think. Well, whatever. You know, as long as it's consenting and whatever, go for gold.

Daryl, you look like you have a question. No, not at all. I just wish we'd had already elevated ourselves to the position in the world of male-female marriages that we were at the same point because even now we do have access to similar. Well, okay, let's look at Tinder versus Grindr. Yeah, Tinder versus Grindr. So Tinder's similar, but the problem with Tinder now is that it's become a relationship generation platform. It used to be originally about getting laid, right? I'm only recently new to Tinder. Well, I had not used it until a year ago, maybe. I think we started.

Maybe a couple of years ago. It was when we were here in Singapore, I remember, because we thought, well, maybe could find some people on tinder who were into our lifestyle as well we didn't but you've been shamed on timber tinder a few times actually yeah from from women saying that you know his lifestyle and what he's doing to me as his wife is not acceptable even though we are and I'm like but what if they but what if what if she wants me to do this? You know, like, does that mean that I'm, like, not giving her... Anyway, whole different story. But Tinder has now become a platform.

If you were to look through it, it's all about, well, I'm looking, you know, not looking for one-night stand. It's like, well, this is not the right platform. Go over to something else. Okay, Cupid, plenty of fish, whatever, yeah. This is a dedicated platform, well, it was a dedicated platform to get laid. How are you doing over there, big fella? Yeah, I'm doing good. You're all right? Yeah. You're looking a little queasy. I am. Is that you not vomiting? No, that's me, yeah. Burming? Like, yeah, trying to, yeah. Do you want an acid? No, I've taken some. You've got some. Yeah. Eat some more.

Don't worry, we'll cut that bit out. We've spoiled... No, just put it in and just be like, yeah. We've spoiled you on your Asia trip. Do you want me to... Hey, Daryl. Can I come down a bit more? No, the air con's good. Daryl, we broke Nate. We broke Nate. Well done. High five. You know what's even more interesting about that? We broke Nate only on booze. Yeah? Just on booze. Yeah? Yeah. Imagine. Imagine what we could do in a fucking filthy country. He'd be on the ground twitching. I wouldn't stop. I think I'd just keep going until I died.

It would be I died I'm actually starting to feel a bit better now I'm having another drink I'm sorry now that it's sinking in DT's have stopped I'm good not shaking anymore I just had to check because I'm not sure you vomiting live on yeah antacid yeah it's I'm like, yeah, the antacid, it's just not working as well as it should. Well, you have to, I mean, you've got to burp. And I don't want to burp into this flimping thing. Antacids make you burp anyway, so okay, right. Okay, well, I have a question.

You and Jay now are engaging in some play, obviously, so non-monogamous, and you do that together and separate. You had a halt pass. You had a halt pass this trip. I yes you had a hall pass this trip like tell us about that like tell us about the fact that you were monogamous for five years you then have started to enter into a non-monogamous uh you know situation and then you're saying you know it's flipped a little bit you're probably a little bit more into it right now than jay is and then now you've had a hall pass like how does that feel what's it like for both of you well my you?

Well, my hall pass, I didn't really get a hall pass. I got a hall pass, but I haven't fulfilled the hall pass. You didn't punch any holes in the hall pass card? Yeah, I haven't punched any holes in the hall pass card, yeah. I'm confused. What does your hall pass card include? Oh, fucking. Oh, okay, sorry.

See, this is interesting, right uh kate so kate has a different different level for different sex so sex for her sex for kate would be kissing another person that would that would be part of a sexual act that's the reason i'm just clarifying for the fans out there of which they're all kates come with conditions uh right the whole the condition is because jay likes to watch so if i did get someone that i you know it's not like i didn't fucking try but if i was fucking someone the condition was or doing whatnot i had to get a bit of a video and i had to send back to him and he kept sending me messages about where the is my video video like what the are you doing come on just go and find i'm like i'm trying i really really am just go and find him and him and send me the video that's what he was looking for yeah so he and he goes i'm really excited to see this video and i'm like okay look I'm trying, okay.

I'm sorry cut a man some slack it's the first time you've been overseas in what like 10 years or something yeah so no we went we went to another asian country together uh four or five years ago oh did you yeah we went to bali oh that's right yeah yeah went to bali indonesia yeah cool so what was your nextup question? Oh, so how is it different? Yeah, like how is it different for you now, like thinking back on, you know, your emotional change between not wanting or probably not wanting it but just not being interested in it or...?

We used to get drunk and speak about it together for ages before it sort of happened. I think it's...

So when we said, we're going to do it we're going to do it then we thought about just paying someone like to come in because then we know there's no emotional you know that so jay needs a bit of like an emotional attachment so we can't sort of just get you know fisting guy you know hi how are you yeah let's fisty fisty buckaroo yeah so when we do do it we've really got a know, if we get them over or we meet them first and we have like a bit of a three-way chat and then we chat for ages or we'll have a few drinks together for a few hours and then it's only then will Jay sort of be able to do it.

Feel more comfortable about it.

Yeah, because there's been times, there has been one time where it was like, oh, yeah, we're the let's go no it didn't work right because i don't think there was any kind of emotional attachment there for jay so then it was swinging in the bedroom yeah doing nothing so that's the condition there where i you know the air con could breathe my way so i don't need it already has i heard hit the table before gunk uh so there's no i don't need that emotional attachment so whatnot but through that relationship it's our communication is so much better i was about to ask you that so do you think that it has positively negatively impacted you neutral doesn't matter it's really really positively affected our relationship because we are so much more open about other things um not just our desire and with sex and sex with other people and stuff like that we can just really talk to each other so much more because there's just no there's no hiding anything in a way you know because it's sort of like well now that cat's out of the bag.

What else is there? Well, that's sort of the way I see and feel that, and I feel like our relationship is so much better because we can talk to each other, where before we just didn't have that level of communication. Yeah, a level of fear, I guess, if somebody might think that ugly thoughts.

I guess it's like coming out to my girlfriend in in brisbane they might think that you know something's bad the immediate thought for a lot of um a lot of people when when you tell them about our lifestyle is that there's something broken in your relationship and that's what's driving it which is actually most of the time the exact opposite you actually get to a level of comfort and trust where you know that that's not the thing that's keeping you together. Yeah, see, me and Jay, we had awesome sex even before we opened it up. We had an awesome relationship before.

And I suppose it just comes down to them desire. And, yeah, you had the desire of wanting to witness me fucking someone and yeah so we do you have any uh do you have any questions for nate daryl before we get onto the strippers story no i just want to really hear the strippers story because he i feel like he might have sold it now it really wasn't that it's not that because he was he thought it was fucking hilarious and And now he's pulling back on it, saying, oh, it's not that good. Well, I'm sort of now concerned that, you know, it might not be read the right way. It could be...

It might not be understood the right way. So what have you got? Come on. Okay, so it was my brother's 30. It's down on the Gold Coast, right? So he's there with his girlfriend. So I don't think they've quite opened it up, but they go to the strippers together a lot because I think she, so she's really, really adventurous. My younger brother is so straight down the line. Yeah, that actually happens a lot with couples that they'll tend to also go to strip clubs and stuff to explore and see how they feel.

It's a good way to have a low-pressure environment where you're just kind of seeing what you feel, I think. Do they actually know about, I mean, do they know about swinging? I don't know. I don't know. Actually, I did sort of tell them that it's a good thing when in my drunken state at the strippers, probably while the stripper had their vagina in my face because I was like, oh, yeah, no, you should do this. This is good. Anyway, so it was a very strange experience.

Anyway, so we went to one strip joint on the Gold Coast my brother his girlfriend walk in I sort of walk in too and you know I lost a bit of weight I've got all new clothes here I am I'm thinking I'm looking good you know and I had a bit as well you know because you know I'm medical now so I titrate my drugs so I can keep on my little happy level because this whole skyrocketing and plummeting thing is not good for anybody. He says in his hungover state. Yeah, he might. See, alcohol is a problem. But anyway, take recreational drugs, learn about titration. It's really good.

You just get up there and you stay there and it's really good.

Anyway, so off walked into the club in a very very good state you know i went and sat down a lot anyway this uh stripper girl comes over and starts chatting me and their thing is what are you doing tonight well i don't know having a drink like it's pretty obvious i'm not you know not knitting us enjoying the strip club enjoying a strip club like what am i doing anyway they asked you two or three times and i was like am i crazy or is she crazy anyway what's great what are you doing tonight so i said oh you know we're out it's not about the 30th doing whatever having a few drinks anyway she's like can i sit down yep no worries can i sit down on your lap yep she sits down my lap so i'll try and.

She's quite tall, blonde hair, typical Gold Coast, thin, with quite good abs, and nice set of at this stage, what I thought were nice boobs. Yes. Jesus Christ, that word really rolls off your tongue. It's like you spat it at the microphone. Well, I've got to tell you in a minute why I was like, oh, it's not working. So she's sitting there and she's like, oh, you're talking away to me. And I talked to her. I said, oh, you know, how long have you been working here for? And then she goes, oh, three weeks. And I said, oh, you know, that probably explains it.

Anyway, I said, how long have you been a stripper for?

And then she goes, oh, six all six years and I said you're not real good at your job are you holy shit she fucking blew up off the chair started screaming at me like what do yeah like oh you could have told me that as soon as I sat down bar and all this kind of stuff why I don't feel I have to fucking fill out my sexual resume with you because I walked into a stripper they're not allowed to be here anyway so I said look calm down I'll buy you a drink for your time like it was like literally six minutes like you know a drink's 13 dollars i'll buy you a drink like awesome anyway so i didn't want a drink storms off wow right cranky i was like i said we're gonna have to go because she's really not cranky that i mean she's not happy she's quite cranky now she comes back she tries again sorry for getting cranky because she apologized to not cranky.

She's not happy. She's quite cranky. Now she comes back. She tries again. Sorry for getting cranky. She apologised to you. Come back. Sorry for getting cranky. I didn't mean to. Normally strippers are the first ones. As soon as you walk in there, they just go, you're a gay guy.

Anyway, she goes, and this was before I was married, just before, and she goes, I thought there was something wrong with you i thought there was something wrong wrong and now you're sitting up now you're pissed off so i'm just like right no worries and i said how much is a show come on it's been that long it's been years since i've even seen one looked at one you know i thought you my life. You know, I thought, you know, this is going to be... It's going to be a story. It's going to be, well, whatever. So I said, how much, right? Anyway, I said, you take him down. It's his birthday.

I'll pay for him and be brother to go down and do it. Anyway, no, let's, or the couple, you can get a couple of one. And she's like, oh, for so much money, I can't remember now. Oh, damn it, I was going to convert it. I think it was $200, $150. It was definitely over $100. I don't think it was over $200, $100 and something. Okay, so about $99 US dollars. And how long is that for and what's it for? Like did she tell you? 15 minutes. 15 minutes. So about $100 US for a 15-minute show. Yeah.

So I can see there's a whole lot of american people falling off their chairs right now really oh it's a lot of money oh that is so it is a lot of money it is a lot of money yeah but i mean yeah it depends on where you are because the surroundings so in queensland you can touch you can rub and touch and everything like that yeah you can't touch inside the inside of thighs or the yeah bikini line yeah yeah so if you just went bikini if they're wearing like a g-string bikini you're not allowed to touch in there and she goes i can take all three of you down it's like she's obsessed with me or she had like some mission she's like i'm gonna turn this man anyway so she's walking with me like you know arm and arm down the stairs to the thing and there's like this um matron that sits there that looks really cranky that signs in a book and points to where you have to sit down and then she's like no you can't take three you can only take two anyway she goes no he's really gay he's fine he's oh oh so now you've been discounted as well so i was like okay well whatever i said oh look i'm not going to be interested i'm just coming down to have a look and i'm gonna leave i'm probably going to be on grinder while i'm sitting there so it went my brother's girlfriend me on that side my brother on the other side anyway so there she starts doing her things and you know she's rubbing all up over them and doing all this kind of stuff then she's like oh you know can't rub up what i do anyway she takes off her top anyway so she's like let me rub and i was like oh this is terrible terrible you're terrible anyway and then next minute she sort of flips upside down and vagina right there Cut the vajayjay in the face, not even any warning.

I was like, tap, tap, I'm out. I'm fucking out. Tap, tap, I'm out.

I just went, and then she's like, you know know trying to lay back on me and i just went boom throw it on me right on this everything and i just went i'm out to the angry lady looking at me and she just goes yep whatever walk out going way out front for having a cigarette doing whatever and i was like nah can't do this anyway i was like matt what do you want to do oh let's go to another players or whatever it was in in the gold coast let's go to another strip try thank god like you know why why is this happening you're like i can't see another one i'm done i can't see another one i'm done but i thought no stop it i'll drink alcohol that's fine yep i'm good for that anyway go to the next one as soon as i walk in there whatever walk i mean you're gay hey bitch you're on the money you've got it don't let she go I go to the next one as soon as I walk in there whatever what coming your guy hey bitch you're you're on the money and then I was talking about my last experience with the other one she's like what do you mean how do they not tell and I'm like and she's like you the sexiest man in the club can't you like you know we can tell when someone hot and whatever that looks after themselves walking here they're not straight awesome okay so it's actually what you're talking about it's actually called um breast implant rippling oh yeah okay yeah so rippling and it's sometimes it's usually very visible and very thin women or women limit leaning forward and it's caused by poor tissue coverage of the implant so what you said Daryl scar capsule to loose under filled or overfilled saline breast implants, round implants, et cetera.

Back it up, babe. Back it up.

We're done now with dr marco dr marco thanks buddy yeah let's just say it's been a long time since i've seen a vagina and a set of tits and it's going to be a lot longer before i see it again so that's interesting though because i was actually really quite interested in sort of there at the start like you know I didn't want to sort of waste her time too much because I really wasn't you know gonna pay but then she come back she didn't give up she kept going and then she got a 60 I'm sorry yeah I think it was definitely 150 and it was 15 minutes because it's a couple one.

I think it's like three songs or something as normally was. Yeah, it's not long. It's not long. Yeah, so that's hilarious. But I'm curious. I had to tap out and I walked out. You tapped out? I did. Anyway, I was like, and I sort of like, because she's only little, I just lifted her up and just put her on. And I was like, yeah, bitch, I can't do it anymore.

As soon as she flicked over and I seen it, I can still close my eyes i can picture it i'm sort of thinking like i used to like women what is and it's just yeah it is changed and i looked at it now and i was like i thought you still did like women though sometimes or somewhat no because i know i find women attractive with clothes on standing there i can see and i'm just like yeah and there is times that i go yep sex with a woman is so much easier you know like sometimes i'll be really really in the mood and then jay's like can't do it because of and i'm just like yeah Or you run out of stuff and you're just like, anal lube, no.

And it's just like. Run out of swinging down under anal lube comes in a 30 mil pump bottle, easy to use. Yeah, so it's like, oh, fuck, sex with a woman is so much easier. That's about the only thing I miss. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But it's just, yeah. Stripper's club story. There you go. Yeah, absolutely. We haven't been to a strip club together in... Yonkers. Forever. Yeah. Or you just need to take out a mortgage on your house. Yeah, just head in there for the, you know, $90 drinks. Hold on, that's not true.

We were in a strip club in in dallas together were we yeah the rick's cabaret place with average swingers oh yeah but it was you mean for an actual show with a stripper yeah we were there as a group of swingers in a strip club yeah yeah that's not exactly what i was referring no well look i mean it is expensive right it drinks drinks are expensive in strip clubs generally yes they are in Australia. Yeah. And also my concern is typically I'm much more of a person who enjoys the touching rather than the looking. We have to go to Queensland. Sorry? Queensland. Yeah, that's Queensland.

I know, but I've never been big on strip clubs actually. You've never been big. You've taken me to more strip clubs than I've been of my own accord. The only time I've ever been to strip clubs is when somebody else is going and i'm with them honestly i think it's really rare i've never gone to a strip club by myself or being the person who instigates going to a strip club i have been there so i went with so in time before i went to a strip club um so my straight mate from mackay come down to risbon yep and we thought we take him out.

And then I was with a very, very flamboyant gay friend as well, right? And he's like, Hey, you know, I can't even really do it. But anyway, really flamboyant and very, what's the word? People like gravitate, gravitate. Yeah.

Only short, high energy just crazy went to strip joint no whatever just the strippers loved him so much so there we were there's my straight mate going oh my god look at all these women and then we're just dancing dirty with the strippers because he was just got that personality that he could yep just attract them and they just wanted to be with him because they were having such a great night. So then that was a completely different strip joint experience. Yeah. And there's all these other guys in the club going, what the fuck's going on? Yeah. We're willing to pay over here. Hello.

And then they're all gravitating to the really flamboyant, bouncy gay guy. He's like, no darling, you're beautiful. Well, I can't even, as I said, I can't even. You did it. You were pretty close there. All right. Should we wrap up episode 102? Well, maybe we should ask Nate whether he's got any questions that he might want to ask you. Then he might be on the spot and then he'll get really stressed about it. That's alright.

What I'm doing is I'm filling air time right now so he can think if he has a question for us and then I can just ask him if he has a question for us and then he can be all prepared with his question for us. I feel like I know a lot. I suppose the question is... I'm just answering my own questions in my head as I'm asking. I already know the answer to that one. I already know the answer to that one. So, no. No questions. I'd like to say thanks for having me. No problem. Thanks for the, uh... Hey, thanks for making the trip to Asia. I'm glad that we broke you in Phuket. That's also good news.

Yeah, you broke me in Phuket. Thanks for that. That was fun. I think there's some memories there that will never, ever be forgotten about our... Oh, where did we live again, Kate? Do you remember where we lived? Oh, we lived in Gumdrop Way in South Africa, according... Coconut Lane. Coconut Lane. Gumtree. Was it Gumtree? Africa. Africa. Yeah, so what... What is that actually? We missed our flight. So we had to get on the flight. Well, no, you chose to stay. Well. That was a decision that you made, sweetie. I decided not to get on the fucking plane because I was having so much time.

He did the usual thing in Asia where people come and then just, you know, don't go home. Yeah. I'm going to be them old people at the end of the beach with crocodile skin still. I came for a week. I stayed for, yeah. Yeah, so we had to sign another form and that was the address that we decided to put down on the form because we thought it was hilarious. At the time, it was very hilarious. Yeah, the time was fantastic. Yeah, no, thanks for coming all the way to Asia. It's been nice having you and you're flying in a couple of hours.

Yes, and then tomorrow is Big Gay Day in Brisbane, so I literally land off the plane, go home. What's the Big Gay Day? The Big Gay Day is like the Mardi Gras, Sydney Mardi Gras after-party in Brisbane. So it's on the street where the Wickham is, and they close the street. Now, I'll just ask Nate. The Wickham being a... LGBTQI bar in Brisbane. Yeah, so Nate was saying they close the street and they do a bit of an afterthought. So have like a line-up of DJs and bands, like LGBT bands. There's lots of letters I know. Yeah, I know. I don't even know them. I just keep...

Well, you only need to be just the G. You only need to know the first three. They're the only ones... Just the community. The community? Yeah. Yeah, just the community. I don't care. Straitss can be involved why don't we have an s there too yeah just the community because you know they can any you know yeah just because you're straight doesn't mean you might not be wanting to celebrate a gay event i mean if anyone knows the gays know how to party if you want to party without getting into a fight or anything like that, come and party with us. Yeah.

The worst thing is you're going to wake up the next day and for the next few weeks you're just going to be putting glitter out of everything you own. Yeah, that is the glitter thing is a thing. I think we need to really stop. That's about the only thing we really need to stop because it's bad for the oceans, it's bad for everybody involved. Well, there's biodegradable glitter now, though. I have to think, right. Yeah, yeah, no, there is. There's biodegradable. I'm going to stand out on the side going, biodegradable glitter only.

I read just recently that there's a guy in Indonesia who's developed a way to make glitter out of seaweed. Well, good. And it's biodegradable, so you can wear the sea.

And the only downside to it is if you get wet, washes off well that's where i yeah i don't think that's really a problem because if you're getting wet i mean i really want to go to this event but i really don't want to look at glitter for the next three months if i fling it out it's everything i own glitter is one of those things as well it just ends up everywhere it does absolutely fucking everywhere yeah biodegradable glitter is actually a thing it is is a unique type of glitter that is a plant-derived, regenerated eucalyptus cellulose. There you go. Look at you Googling so fast.

Sorry, I'm going to be like pro biodegradable glitter. Could you Google while you're there, just Google really quickly for me, how to stop your dog from farting? Yeah, she's a bit rank. She's a bit on the snout, to say. All right. Well, thank you for coming. It's been great. So for everybody out there. Thank you for chatting as well. Yes. It's very nice to chat on the podcast, other than the, you know, numerous hours of chatting we've had up until now. I'm really loving this very thing touching my face. It's actually, it's taking me back. No.

I just don't want to lick it because it's going to get wrapped around me, tongue ringing, and I'll be stuck here for days. We should have hung a dildo out the middle of it. Please stop fucking around my dead cat, okay? Stop it. Oh, it does too, isn't it? Okay.

It's time to close out episode 102 when Nateate's licking the microphone um time for another drink time for a chat thank you for coming and thank you everybody else out there for listening thanks for listening as i said please don't send hey mal i'm really a nice guy i can i can agree with that although you know a lot of people think i'm not a nice guy so maybe i'm throwing you under I I might be throwing you under the bus for that I'll take some of the load off your day They're not that loud I can't not end it there that's good Alright, done If you're looking for more ways to interact with Swinging Down Under, you can catch twitter at swing down under you can also catch us on instagram swinging down under or head over to our website swingingdownunder.com we would absolutely love to hear from you so if you would like to send us an email jump online do it at cnd at swingingdownunder.com if you've got podcast topics questions you want to talk about your journey you can also support the podcast through our website by clicking through on any of the affiliate links or alternatively through jumping over to patreon.com forward slash swinging down under and sponsoring the podcast.

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