Desire Mexico Part 1 – P28

Transcript

This is C. And this is D. And this is Swinging Down Under. So, there's been a little bit of a flood on podcasts of late. Well, there was drought. There was some serious drought. Now there's a flood. Now there's a flood. I mean, that's how it works. Locusts are next. Yeah, we're getting the two-by-two animals ready for the ark. Uh-huh. Yeah. Weird reference, but cool. Well, we're going to need to find another couple as well. Okay. You see. Okay. See how that works? I get it now. So what are we talking about today? We are talking about our time in Desire, Riviera, Maya. In Mexico. In Mexico.

After we went to Naughty in New Orleans, we headed on down to... Down? Yeah, down. I'm just going to say that we're total travel slots at this point well really we've been we've been traveling all over the place yeah we spent four weeks abroad and we're off to kuala lumpur very shortly yeah a couple of weekends yeah yeah which is pretty exciting it is very exciting now that we're based down in singapore um just for everybody who may not have heard about that it's just a a quick kind of 45-minute flight for us.

And, you know, Singapore is the hub of Asia for travel, so looking forward to some sexy weekends away. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, KL is what, $80 return? Actually, I got them for about $60 Sing dollars. So what's that, $45 US? Let's call it $50 US. Dollars return from here to KL, which is awesome. Looks not glamorous. It's not first class. But KL is a very sexy city. Sexy, happening, cheap shopping. It's all good. Yeah, absolutely. Anyway, we're getting a scooch off topic here. But we'll come back on the topic now.

The reason for the cast is our time our time at desire which we've been looking forward to for a very long time yes but i have to say one of the things the very first thing i noticed getting off the plane before we even made it to desire and i've got to say it was within three minutes drive of the airport i was blown away by the fact that starbucks has spread its tentacles even into mexico there was a Starbucks on the side of the road, you remember? I pointed it out. No, I'm staring at you because I'm thinking that you were surprised by that. Yeah, actually, good point.

Starbucks is everywhere. It's really... Terrible coffee, was what you were going to say there. This may be, yeah. Which, I mean, I could do a whole podcast on coffee. Oh, stop it. Listen to you like you're some coffee connoisseur. Not a connoisseur, an addict. There's a difference. But I'm working on it. I'm a working addict, so it's fine. Yeah, you're a functioning coffee addict. Functioning coffee addict. Thank you very much. Yes. Yeah. Again, off topic. So, came to Desire.

As we said, we're really excited excited it was a long time coming for us i mean we'd been wanting to go to desire for for a long time pretty much since we started in the lifestyle um for a couple of reasons one i guess i wanted to test my ability to get naked and feel comfortable my own skin in public clothing optional resort will kind of force that well not force it but it certainly helps helps yeah it lubricates it shall we say well i think the fact that it's all-inclusive free alcohol lubricated the clothing optional portion of it problematic though going to one of these um locations at the end of a holiday after three weeks of drinking yeah not a great way to go don't do that well especially now that you have To be continued...

these um locations at the end of a holiday after three weeks of drinking yeah not a great way to go don't do that well especially now that you have to be naked in front of everyone else i mean just just you know figure that out i think really get your priorities set yeah get to the gym beforehand yeah now actually um before we got there though ellie and al from the aussie swingers had actually given us some some tips on on room allocation um which was kind of cool i think you can actually check in before you arrive there which we hadn't done but upon arrival um we were able to kind of chat to the check-in receptionist concierge guys to see what room they can give us unfortunately none of the rooms that were recommended were available but but we knew also which block to avoid which was quite handy information so block 10 is right near the pool gets quite busy um has a little smoking busy like all the time yeah i mean it's loud so you know if you kind of want to get away from some of the noise you know that's a really good tip well block 10's near the pool but it's also under hot tub yeah yeah the big hot tub which is on the roof which i might add as a side note you'll hear on the way through we didn't go to the hot tub it's too hot the reason behind this is that um during the day it was the the pool felt like a hot tub yeah no one was going there nobody nobody went to the hot tub not before after the disco no yeah no it was because it was just way too hot and scalding because i don't think they adjusted the temperature enough throughout the day to keep it at a a reasonable temperature can you imagine having sex then like can you imagine the hot tub the heat and the heat of the water and then trying to have sex which also i'm actually just thinking about the fact that my balls never would never have made it into the water right.

Because they would have hit the water, they would have... Exited the building. Well, I would have ended up with two, well, three Adam's apples. How do we explain that? I've got a very deep voice. Check-in, though, we were pleasantly surprised. We enjoyed... Check-in was good. Check-in was good, but... People were great. The room. Room was... We really liked the room. We were block 17. Yeah, there were a few people who said, you know, expect that it's a little older. The rooms are a little older. I've got to say, I agree. The rooms weren't brand new, but they've been well-maintained.

They're big. They're good-sized. So we had a bed, two couches, a little table. Yeah, well, if you haven't yet, I actually did a periscope run around of the room when we first arrived because we were actually pretty excited by this. The fact that we were there. Well, not only that, but we'd already walked past the pool at this point. And walking past the pool gave, I'm going to say, see a clitoral erection.

Oh, um it was interesting actually i mean there was just people really enjoyable people everyone kind of seemed to be having fun people of varying ages lots of laughter lots of laughter lots of it was a sexy environment yeah and that was just walking past and we were kind of want to get in there don't you know they're taking you for a walk around, and you're like, shut up, man, and you're kind of undressing and trying to get in the pool. Yeah, but we unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, but we got there a little early for check-in. Our room wasn't yet ready.

Now, that was purely because, I mean, that's when the flights arrived.

So we had lunch fully clothed and got to sort of sink into what was going on around us, but from the i got there and if anyone's listened to my to the to the naughty norlands podcast prior to this um my big problem there was i was just overwhelmed with the amount of people and certainly the some of how some of the people acted well desire was a stark contrast to this it was we really was and i guess when we got there we were a little bit apprehensive a little bit anxious i guess yeah well can i say i was ready to pull the pin on the whole holiday and the only reason i'll say the only reason we ended up here at desire rather than us doing something else after naughty or because of during Na naughty my little brain explosion is because um tna from curious couple spoke about it really well you know they said it was great they said it's very different because it was their first event as well yeah um that couple next door they spoke about it oh no sorry they asked us about it sorry no um well the joneses have been joneses have been there the joneses speak very highly of it so i thought after especially after meeting these guys and really understanding that they they do actually fit with what i think is a a good couple sexy swingers and part of what we want out of the lifestyle absolutely for them For them to advertise and say, this is where we go, that really swayed me into actually attending Desire after the struggles I had at Naughty in New Orleans.

Just as a side note, I will be doing a podcast shortly as well about body image and the lifestyle for men. And that'll take on body image. Also, some of my own little thoughts and brain explosions from Naughty And I think that's what decent amount of ranting it's good it's it's like two scooches okay good so we get into the room we get changed we head out okay um also something to to think, I mean, we'd heard about the fact that you've got to get up early and kind of secure your little pod or your bed by the pool, your cabana. You've got to book your cabana for the day.

You have to book it, right? And so, you know, this was at, what, 3, 3.30 in the afternoon, I suppose? When we arrived. When we were kind of sitting by the pool.

and we managed just luckily to jag a spot under this kind of like more permanent cabana type gazebo thing it's a gazebo it's a and it's a big gazebo that they have dinners on at night and stuff as well which was kind of cool actually because we are white and sitting out in the sun for like two seconds we're gonna get burnt also it rained that day actually we weren't under the gazebo i just remembered our first little bit was that circle bed out in the sun because day one you were like yes i didn't burn my cock yeah that was a big concern for me penis burn yeah penis burn because i think penis burn would put a very quick end to any sort of frivolity just going on that though we did talk to a couple and he had penis Oh, my God.

It was hilarious. She told you this. What did she say to you here? She said, I don't know. To any sort of frivolity. Just going on that, though, we did talk to a couple and he had penis band. Oh, my God. It was hilarious. She told you, though. What did she say to you? He has rings? Well, we can all understand, I'm sure, that, you know, a flaccid penis tends to have some wrinkles in it, wrinkles in the skin. Every time he got a heart on, his penis looked like a tiger, apparently, because it had white rings and red rings, which eventually turned into white rings and brown rings around his penis.

So, another tip for penis burn, don't do it. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Just avoid it at all costs. Yeah, if you can. Get a little hat. A little Mexican little hat. Can't imagine vagina burn would be any more fun. I really don't think any burn in the general genitalia area.ipples burn as well or asshole burn why is your asshole exposed um i'm not really sure but you know i'm just thinking i don't okay let's move on from that eyelid burn so we as i said before like i was a little bit apprehensive about the whole like naked in public thing.

And before we went there, we kind of set these goals, kind of like, not goals, not dares. What would you call them? Goals. Okay, goals. Just go simple. Got it. For me to kind of, and both of us really, to kind of walk away. And one of them was actually to feel better in our skin. Just to feel better naked. Feel more comfortable. In amongst a group of people. Right. We've been on nude beaches before and things like that. But certainly, you've never been nude in a public arena before. I mean, there was... Obviously, yes, we were swingers. Yeah. We get naked, clearly.

We play in front of people, absolutely. And with them. But not, I guess, not in the stark of day, kind of out in the public. No. I don't know. So, anyway, so... It's always soft fluorescent lighting, which is, you know, we all know is the most glamorous of the lighting. Oh, God. So, Dee strips off, you strip off buck naked. Yeah. And I strip off just to my panties. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. There's a photo on Twitter of me. I think you may have forgotten the fact that I pushed and shoved and edged. Day two, yes. On day one. Day one, I was just topless. Oh, really? Yep.

I had my red panties on.

P whatever swimmers bottom string type swimmer things yeah okay so i left those on and um we sat and we went to the bar and we didn't did we get in the pool yet no i don't really remember but anyway we had a we were we were having a whole heap of fun i got an eye roll across the table there because you know c is a compulsive note writer so she's got a whole page of stuff here on my ipad is shocking like a week ago this happened yeah i don't know do you know how much alcohol i've consumed between then and now that is true i mean we were at an all-inclusive resort by the end of time there, we could not figure out what we wanted to drink because we'd drunk everything ever imagined by humanity.

This is true. I was having shandies. My mum would be proud. You're a 70-year-old woman. We kind of finished up in the pool and had a few drinks.

I mean, there wasn't much happening that day because we got in so late and yeah and and by the time we got into the pool i think people were starting to gear up to go to dinner which something we learned if you don't have a dinner reservation you're screwed not in a good way well not screwed you just end up you just end up at the buffet which is fine and it's good it's good food buffet very buffet is actually very good food if there is one thing we can say about desire riviera my the food all the food is really good fresh and tasty i mean for not even i was about to say for resort food but not even for resort food there's one restaurant there um well there's two restaurants but one of them we're particularly fond of because it's a bit more of a formal setting it's still sexy it's got very sexy it's still got some you know tasteful sexy pictures and photos and images up on the walls it's got the drapings hanging from the ceiling as well kind of those see-through drapes yeah which kind of divide the couple but leave it you know they divide the tables but leave it open enough it's yeah i mean we really um we and the food is fantastic in there but if you don't make a reservation you're screwed you're screwed so we we turn up and and uh attempt to get into both of the restaurants we end up in the buffet you know just kind of having dinner by ourselves just again kind of assessing the situation coming off the back of um ninn you know we were kind of again not sure so we spent a bit of time looking around and i'm gonna say trying to figure out who to kind of make a make a game for i don't know who to who to aim for yeah so that was that was interesting what was all something else we've just just figured out since we got back as well as at this point c was still not okay with looking at people whilst they were naked no not at all you you were still so up until what was it day three i think day three yep you finally actually gained the courage to look at some people's penises and boobs and vaginas while they were walking around the pool.

By the end of it, I was kind of taking stock on the number of circumcised penises versus none. Lots of circumcised penises, you're right. They were in the first half of the week. Second half of the week, I'm going to say, that the uncircumcised kind of reigns. The Beanie Boys took over? Yep, they did. Maybe you just didn't see them all in the beginning of the week because you weren't looking. Possibly true. Yeah. Possibly true. I actually have to do a quick thank you, though.

When we arrived and that first day by the pool, what we found was that everyone was wearing, well, not everyone, but a lot of people were wearing name necklaces. Now, there is a person there who actually does create the name necklaces, but you have to give this particular individual three naked hugs. Thankfully, though... Guy or girl, I might add. Thankfully, though, we didn't need to kind of go down that rocky pathway because we already had them. Yes, we did. Thanks to some friends of ours. Absolutely. So, Allie and Elle from Aussie Swingers. You do this every time. You suck at that.

I got it right. I keep saying our name. And I'll see this every time. You suck at that. I got it right. I keep saying our name. Ali, Ali and Al. That's what I said. You said Ali and Elle. Oh, shit. Every time. Can I say now there's an Australian in the room with an Australian and she's picking on the fact that I don't use my vowels. Yes.

So once again, thank you, Ali and Al from the aussie swingers for making our necklaces and uh meaning that i didn't need to hug three times naked that particular individual and neither did i love you guys for that i mean i would have had to hug him three times actually we're pretty sure that he he was el swingador really well i think so okay i'm gonna say it okay he looked like him without the mask okay um but anyway so thanks very much for that guys it was a really good planning um and also i guess anyone out there who's considering going to diet it's a good idea i mean it's kind of cool you have you're naked and you're in the pool but you've got a little name necklace on um so people can know your name, not forget your name.

Well, no, there are a lot of people there, right? And even people who are very good with names, which I would not attest to be. Fit into that category at all. At all. What's my name? What's my name, bitch? Sorry. It gets tough. There's a lot of people you meet.

There's a lot of backstories you pick up as well so i actually i think if there were an addition to to naughty in new orleans as well that i would recommend it would be having people get a name badge as they arrive right and a necklace rather than because the lanyard you've it sometimes falls over and leans the wrong way and it's hard to get a hold of well mrs j. Jones talks about that in Colette Nightclub that she couldn't remember that guy's name and his name badge was kind of flipped over his shoulders. Yeah, that's right. So it'd be nice if they're...

I think that's a great idea for Naughty in New Orleans. Perfect. Yeah. So thanks, guys. But yeah, I guess after dinner, we kind of went out to the little entertainment area, went to the disco. I think our first day was what, just sussing it out, really? Yeah, pretty much. We did play cornhole. We did play cornhole. So, need to explain, though, in Australia, a cornhole. No, no, at first, the guy comes up and says, hey, guys, do you want to play cornhole? And I said, wait, what?

Yeah, we both said what, because I was just just eyes wide open thinking why is this dude wanting to stick his penis in my wife's ass why is that the first line i mean he could have been polite and said could i borrow your wife's vagina and then sorry can i have the keys to your ferrari as uh so um cornhole a cornhole in an australia in australia would be one's arsehole yeah so we had never played cornhole, a cornhole in Australia would be one's arsehole. Yeah. So, we had never played cornhole outside of the bedroom before. In public. In public. Naked. Naked. On the beach. On the beach.

With sand. Ooh. Yeah. Ow. Anyway. So, that was actually fun. We played it with another couple. Cornhole, for anyone who doesn't know, is just a board basically where you have little sand sacks that you throw through a hole. So there you are. But we didn't play with just another couple. We played with Roberto. Oh, we did play with Roberto. Roberto. He's one of the desire, what do they call them, play, entertainer play people? Yeah, party players or play party. Anyway, they're there to kind of keep things going, keep the entertainment happening, and he's quite sexy. Quite sexy? Yeah.

I'm hearing a sploosh. No sploosh? He's sexy. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I thought he was tanned anyway so that was day one um a lot of sussing out i think just yeah getting used to surroundings and i guess also because we'd ended up at dinner on our own kind of setting up the the plan for the next day yeah which was to get up get a cabana blood pool get a dinner reservation like get our shit sorted yeah so actually that that night we were look there were certainly there were certainly people that we'd spoken with that we would have been interested in spending a little bit more time with but um we just hadn't again because we're sociosexuals we needed a bit more time to get to know them would think about inviting them to our room.

And also, everyone had all kind of like paired off for the day. Yeah, they had. Because they'd been by the pool for so many hours. For so long, yeah. Yeah, it was quite difficult to break in. It would have become a sixth some. Yeah, which is fine, but, you know, when people are kind of giving you the eye, like, you know. Get away from a couple of bitches. Yeah, you know, you've got to be careful. They didn't do that at all, by the way. So, the plan's in action. So, I get out of bed. We are making our way to breakfast. Dee breaks off and gets a cabana.

I break off and go and make a dinner reservation for four. Yes. Very, very presumptive there of C to just, you know, have a crack at a table of four, given it's our first true day at Desire.

Mm-hmm so you got to do it you got to do it you got to you got to plan it put some put some work in put some hard yards in yep bolts the wall wow you have never said that before in your life so we we um after breaking off to do that we then came back to the pool uh sorry we came back for breakfast i should say brunch it was by then really wasn't it i think it would have been i think every day was brunch i don't really think we i think one day we were we got out of bed at nine but we probably again still having breakfast yes that's right so the and this is the day that We spied the sexy couple at at brunch and we were like we need to get a chair beside them we need to get a table that was lunch baby we saw them yeah we're in the cabana we saw them spotted them they came to the little gazebo next to us and we were in our heads we were thinking okay well we need to when they go to lunch we're gonna go to lunch and this is where we also were introduced to the because we got the where we got our cabana spot was beside come on you remember no the newlyweds oh my god the newlyweds yeah yes anyway we'll come back to those guys a little further on in the cast but um so we spied them they're on their way to lunch now this was i'm gonna say two hours after we'd finished brunch so we had eaten oh that's right but i was like i don't care get get in there we need to talk to those guys we just just have a light salad or something just get into that lunch area quick quick get your clothes on yeah so we um there were there were um got to say there were a lot of sexy people in the pool it was just that i think one of our one of our issues maybe not issues but one of our faults when it comes to this is that we tend to find a couple that we're interested in and try and spend some time with them and that then rules out almost anyone else that's around them so that makes things a little bit more difficult for us to meet couples plus also i guess it was the um they were both attractive and seemed interesting and and um looked like they'd be the kind of people we'd want to chat to yeah and they were and absolutely yeah so we walk in and well i'm pushing d in quickly get that table right next to them yeah before some other couple does and we did and we sat and chatted with them and not surprisingly they were uh just as we had expected they were intelligent um sexy i mean she was stunning she still reminds me of someone and i can't put my finger on who it is.

She was stunning, actually. Very well color-coordinated, too. Oh, my God, every day. I know. She had, like, 60 bracelets. Every day the bracelets matched. I know. She was stunning every freaking day. God damn it. As I dragged my sorry ass out of bed. Yeah, bleary-eyed.

bleary eyed and you know slightly dehydrated from the amount of alcohol and sun i'd received the day before and then you see her looking all pristine even though that one of the nights she was really wasted and the next day she was she looked like a princess again interestingly though they were actually there i mean there was a group of. 16. They had had six couples already leave, and so there were a few people remaining. But they all kind of went there and kind of met up together.

Some of them had met prior, some of them hadn't met, but they had kind of caught up as a group and then had arranged this trip to Desire.

Yeah, there was nexus couple that had dragged them all along well not dragged them but brought them all along and in fact that nexus couple had introduced probably nearly all of them i think one of the couples said nearly all of them to the lifestyle which is really interesting yeah and we never really figured out who that nexus couple was they could have already left for yeah they might have so they obviously some people came for kind of three days some people came for four days six days so you know couples were kind of peeling Thank you.

couple was they could have already left for a week yeah they might have so they obviously some people came for kind of three days some people came for four days six days so you know couples were kind of peeling off from the group as the days went by another tip make sure you have a weekend as part of your time at desire something we didn't do but we noticed on friday the crowd got a lot bigger thursday it started kind of more people but by friday definitely friday a lot bigger so we can imagine yeah so saturday saturday sunday would have been significantly bigger plus friday's the the phone party yeah so yeah next next time we go definitely we're gonna i reckon we'd probably get there on a thursday yeah go over the weekend yeah and then leave maybe on the...

Wednesday, Thursday following or something. Or the Saturday. Okay. You just... Well, two weekends, fair enough. Well, one and a half. But we actually did invite them to dinner, and that's kind of when they mentioned the... Group. The group. So my first introduction to, hey, come to dinner with us, because I've got this table of four at the really nice restaurant. Oh, yeah, like you asked. I did. Okay, he's giving me the eyes. Look, I'm wrong. You're right. I'm sorry, honey. Wow. I mean, for all you boys out there, how often have you heard that?

I'm just going to loop that back and play it in my headset. I'm already tweeting that I was lying. Okay, sweet. I take it back. Yeah, but because they were there with the group, they'd all organized to have dinner together. Yeah. And unfortunately, they did, I suppose, figure out whether we could join them at their table.

But because it's a group of people that knew each each other really well um they they basically had to they wanted to check with everyone else that it wasn't a problem yeah of course i think they were probably the shyest members of that group as well they were actually they they normally don't get too involved um they don't then they come there to to be naked and and feel sexy rather than in a sexy environment yeah so we ended up um we'd actually already spied another couple that we thought were sexy as well and um we were in the pool and again kind of d sent me in to do the the introduction and the the recon i guess and we're chatting to these guys for a little while um i went in for the first hour on my own but the funny thing was that the second sexy couple belonged to the first sexy couple's group.

They did. So I guess at this point, are we preying on this group?

Well, no, it was just, I mean, I think one of the things I have learned about the lifestyle is that attractive people, no, I shouldn't say attractive, people of the same intellect, Like intellect you know same standard i suppose when it comes to the the couples they're playing with tend to group because they find people that they like that are that are the same you know sort of exciting individuals and they group together so this group just happened to be a group of people that we liked the way they all operated right all of them there was not a person in that there was not a couple in that group that we wouldn't have played with no there was not a there was not a even an individual out of the couple like there was you know sometimes you might meet some people and you know maybe one of the partners kind of rubs you a little bit the wrong way or you know just isn't your cup of tea or maybe has some very strong opinions on a certain topic that you don't like but every single person that was in that group uh at this point so there was eight of them left yeah and they all well there was actually 10 but we didn't meet there was one couple who didn't make it out of their room because they were so hung over from the night before that That's right.

Yeah, we met them the next day. But, you know, they were all really cool people and really inviting and we had a lot of laughs, actually. We had a lot of laughs and a lot of fun and all the requirements for us to find couples sexy. Actually, part of that fun was the fact that, you know, you've got five very attractive women kind of chatting and talking amongst people. And then, of course, we had some people busting into the group. Yeah, we did have some people busting into the group.

There was a number of individuals at Desire who, quite frankly, there was at least one who was lucky to have been able to remain i would think after the shenanigans both at the pool and then up in the club in the nightclub uh later on that night i didn't see any of this where was i must be in the bathroom yeah this is so this is this is not this is not day two this is day three these that this guy arrived yes but there was also kind of other people breaking in. Yeah, yeah, so there were people breaking. Well, you'd actually – why had you gone? You'd gone somewhere to – Oh, it was day three.

I was going to get my body paint done, so I had to like go and shower and – Yeah, so there was some predatory couples, really predatory, to the point um we had to form some sort of circle of you know backs i suppose to prevent these people from grabbing the ladies and literally dragging them off now i gotta say there wasn't anything terribly untoward except for one one guy was a bit um full-on and i i would have been fairly happy to see him turfed out but um generally the couples were they were respective they were just a little bit full-on for the group for what the group was used to um certainly we had the newlyweds the newlyweds came over and they that's i think is that when the um the the cocoon of safety was formed that was then the taco safety was for the taco safety yeah taco safety was a lady in the middle guy either side that was the taco safety um and then uh later on the cocoon of safety was formed uh when the entire group got together and basically sort of swarmed around the men swarmed around the females to try and keep them now the newlywed couple now the first impression that we actually had of them i think was in the lunch area or when he was trying to select a cabana no it was the lunch area yeah it was a for brunch and and this straight away straight away i said i actually said both of us yeah we said remember them and i'm going to take a side so if people do not treat their um servers the people that are looking after them any type customer service function with respect i'm out and he was so rude and he was a nasty he was just a really bad soul yeah he was just a nasty individual he's the type of guy who'd kick puppies i i kind of don't want to think that he'd do that but um he yeah he was he was rude he was demanding he wasn't saying yeah demeaning wasn't saying please thank you anyway instantly he was he was out but what we later found in the coming days was um not only was was he arrogant but together they were really irritating yeah he he was um not only that later on we spoken with when speaking with the other some of the other couples from the group of 10 we found out also we put some pieces of the puzzle together and he was actually demeaning to her his newlywed wife as well um the day.

So we found them very... Hard to take. Yeah, I mean, once you print an ugly soul, it's very hard for there to be any comeback from there.

So we didn't spend any time with those guys, but of course over the coming days you'll hear us kind of mention them because they are certainly in and amongst and and uh this particular night actually well they were the reason for the for the um cocoon of safety they were but this particular night later in the disco yes something else occurred yeah absolutely so we'll talk about that in a second we don't want to go too too far in advance but anyway these guys sexy um we had dinner on our own um but then we had arranged to kind of catch up and it was dressed to impress dress to impress night that's right so for the law dress to impress um so we we headed out to the entertainment area again and kind of you know we're we're keeping a lookout for any one of the couples so we could catch up.

Might I say, Dress to Impress, it was... Oh, yeah. Yeah, there were some... It's really interesting, the fact when you throw some clothing at some people, you can make... Oh, good point, good point, yeah. So, when you're nude, you are literally all exposed. I mean... And this is why the ladies wear jewellery or bracelet. Something to give a bit of pizzazz. Something, right? Yeah. So you're not just a sea of skin.

Really good tip because actually the sexy guy that I liked, who you'll introduce him in a second, but he actually said to me later in the day that he finds there's nothing more sexy than a piece of draping jewellery on a lady who's naked. Remember that? Yeah, yeah. I was wearing that gold body chain. Yeah, you were wearing a gold body chain that highlighted your already glorious breasts. Sorry, I just fell into the boobs. So the whole...

I'm in the cleavage right now.'m struggling to get out clothes we went in there and we're like god damn it these people are sexy yes i mean they were sexy yes fine they're beautiful i mean seeing people naked um seeing people raw is kind of well you get to see it's almost like you get to see the canvas of the painting yeah right when Because're because when they're naked it's the it's the raw canvas and then the clothing adds the the finer details to the painting yeah and i've got to say uh people can depending on how they dress themselves can look significantly i'm gonna say better than what they do in their raw they're just enhancing they're just enhancing right?

They're just enhancing things, yeah. Of course. I mean, you've got push-up bras, butt lift pants. I mean, there's so many things these days that can – and if you pull your hair really tight at the back of your head, you can get rid of the furrows out of your brow. And guys have those things that hold their socks up. Mmm, sexy. And, you know, pleated trousers. We've got to love that.

Well, was and you've remember because you're talking about all the things that women like to keep quiet which is the shape underwear yeah i just figured i'd do the same for you so i was just going to actually add to that remember that there may have been people we played with at this event who the guy was wearing um aussie bums oh yeah which aussie bums have a lift and thrust pocket in the front of the um in the front of the uh underwear for men to give a enhanced bulge right i've never worn them they just sound horribly uncomfortable so we went up to the disco now when people had and i'd heard tna talking about the disco, and I was like, disco?

Is that, what is this, 80s, 1980s? Yeah. It kind of threw me off. I didn't know what to expect. Well, they were playing 1970s music when we first got there. But that's what they call it upstairs. So, it's a nightclub, but they call it the disco. Yeah. Just so people just don't think it's this, you know, really, really old. Just so you don't hear, oh, stand alive, stand alive. We did hear that, though. Yeah. But they've got a little dance floor, got the DJ set up, got the bar. Got a very simple methodology. Couches. There's a playroom to one side.

But they have a very simple methodology to get people dancing, we think. Preach it. Come on. They play 60s and 70s music, old school stuff.

And then all of a sudden they bust out some new tunes and i'm saying when i'm saying new you know something in the last decade they bust out some new tunes and the the dance floor packs up and then they just keep playing that sort of music for the rest of the night i i reckon they've got a system you should you should talk to the dj like roberto's dance system he has a dance system yeah for anyone who goes there and actually we were joking with a about this um roberto has a dance move a dance move he's got a go-to move he's got a go-to move which is not a bad thing it's not a bad move actually he does the the butt twerking yeah so does sexy anna she does the butt twerking quite well we've yet to figure out whether that job, that host and hostess job, is the best job in the world or the worst.

Constantly full of energy. Yeah. It would be tough to be that happy all of the time. I'm now going to let you introduce my sexy guy. Oh. Because we're about to talk about when we go to the playroom. We are. Before we do that, though, we need to introduce the couple that we really liked and had a preference for. But I want you to kind of talk about that. Sorry, now you've got me confused. When we head into the playroom. Oh, yeah, with Archer and Cheryl. Right. Okay.

So these are code names um for those of you who haven't watched the um the archer um i'm gonna say graphic novel series on tv i'll actually put a when when we put this podcast up put a link we can put a little link up to like a wikipedia site but we maybe put the photo up of archer yeah so you guys can see what we're talking about so we actually cartoon character we met these guys we didn't we didn't have the reference to archer until the next day right that was given to us by his friends but um we met archer and and cheryl cheryl is also another character from the archer uh comic book or the Archer comic TV series.

Now, Archer's actually a bit of a piss take on James Bond 007. It's set from what I can see sort of 1960s, 1970s. Archer is this desperately hot, beautifully voiced, well-hung, amazing sex god of a spy who gets shot every single program and survives no matter where he's shot, basically, you know, and it's just hilarious.

It's a hilarious show, really well written, was introduced to us by The Atoms, actually, which we, I now, I have binge been binge watched the whole seven series of it and it is a fantastic show now the guy that we met the couple we met i say is archer and cheryl because archer is that god that i've just described and cheryl is a very sexy but kind of nutty um woman in the same show she's she likes to be strangled she actually builds herself a strangle bot to strangler and it's a pretty good it's a pretty good descriptor of the Cheryl that we met there not that she likes to be strangled but she's fun, sexy, hilarious, got a good sense of humour, out for a party.

Runs in circles um is really open with her sexuality her personality we really um we really enjoyed spending time with both of these guys unfortunately we broke the number one rule what's the number one rule well tna taught us they told us this on the podcast as did the joneses as did i think every other podcast i've ever listened to that have been to desire find out when people are leaving that's true and we didn't do that no we didn't you are jumping ahead i am jumping ahead so let me come back so archer that's the descriptor of arch tan, perfect hair. He only ever wore shorts.

He wore shorts during the day in the pool. I never really discovered why until later, well, until this night. We'd been dancing with them, kind of in the lead up, getting a bit sexy, and then they disappeared. Now, did you see where they went? Because this is where the version of mine versus the version of you is going to get a little bit interesting. To clarify, they were actually going... I did know they disappeared earlier in the night and they went to the playroom. They didn't go there to play.

They went there because the air conditioning in the playroom is significantly better than the air conditioning in the disco.

Now, I think that's purely because the disco is full of hot bodies jumping up and down whereas the playroom at this time of the night was pretty empty um so they ended up in the playroom second time around to cool down but this time they found a couple in there that invited them in they were a soft swap only couple um and they got involved with that couple and it Got to the point i said to her let's go and have a look at the playroom and as we wandered in we noticed that those guys were in there playing now this is where our stories are going to going to differ or separate because i think well i was i wasn't of the impression that we were going in there to play at all, mainly just to have a look around.

But I think I probably got a little bit wrapped up in the moment and ended up getting involved. Well, you started getting undressed. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay, we're doing this then, are we? And I started getting undressed too. Yeah. Well, I mean, we liked those guys and, you know, Cheryl looked up at me with pouty little eyes and, you know. Okay, so, but this is the thing. I was, like, looking around. It was dark. Were they playing with that other couple when we started undressing and when we kind of just barraged into what? Yes, they were. That's awkward.

Yeah, well, look, I think all of the, everything had led to the point that they were interested in us anyway, I would say. Yeah. Had you recognized the other couple? No, didn't know them. That's an interesting point, though. That's pretty awkward. They were interested in us, and I guess at this point had a preference for us and kind of just... Moved away.

Well, no, but what was a soft swap couple and they'd really gotten to the point that the soft swap was complete okay right so then the because then the guy took over and started fucking his wife oh right and then and then what cheryl was going down on, not yet. So what happened was when we snuck in and we made a pretty horrible error here, which we apologize for the next day, but it was all okay, but we didn't officially ask. We didn't have the conversation of, can we touch you? Do you mind if we get involved? Which was really horrendous of us.

There was looks and there was what we would say was signs, We'll be right back.

conversation of can we get in do you mind if we get involved which was really horrendous there was there was looks and there was you know what we would say was signs but i mean what we realized was that the conversation wasn't had thankfully we read the non-verbal conversation well enough to know that it was actually they did actually want us to which is fine but also from for us it was not the point like there's always that that respect and um yeah so we we apologized the next day of which they were like are you kidding me like we wanted you to you know jump in but of course for us it was like well yes but that's really not how we that's not how we roll so then um what happened next was we were we were undressed and um cheryl started kissing on you from memory and then we were Thank you.

next was we were we were undressed and um cheryl started kissing on you from memory and then we were uh i was sort of just sitting over to the side um enjoying the enjoying the show what was going on and then two of the ladies so the lady from the soft swap and cheryl decided to start sucking archer's cock and then you you said well do i do you mind if i get involved in this and the reason i did that was because you've had three people suck your cock before and you said what whilst it you probably wouldn't be able to kind of finish but it's glorious it's glorious to watch and having three people kind of you know sucking and touching you is amazing so i was like well this is an opportunity for this guy to feel I don't know.

Yes, glorious to watch. And having three people kind of, you know, sucking and touching you is amazing. So I was like, well, this is an opportunity for this guy to feel that. And Archer had not felt that before. This was his first time. Hey, tick. Next day, he confided in us and said that it was amazing. Just the visual was awesome. Exactly. Yeah. So I started doing that.

And this is where our story will change a little bit because clearly i can't see what's going on behind me and so that's where this becomes fuzzy for me like i think nobody else then was sucking his cock then i was just sucking his cock yeah which you were doing a great job so let's keep in mind here from behind me beside me what's going on like i can't see what's happening with the other i'm surprised you can see in front of, I can't see what's happening with the other couple. I'm surprised you can see in front of you. I can't see what's happening with Dee.

I can't see anybody else entering the room. So this is where kind of asteris get a little bit muddled. Well, I mean, yeah, you're right. But, okay, first you need to describe what you met when you met Arch's penis. Right. So I start actually sucking him and touching him and and he's got some great abs and um it was all very delightful but the thing that i realized was that he has a a pretty thick and long cock um i wasn't expecting that it was garguan. So that was a bit of a surprise to me. And, um, I'm going to say I had to kind of, you know, do some, do some jaw exercises there a little bit.

Um, that was interesting. I didn't, um, hadn't expected it and he was pretty, pretty good. I liked it. He was probably the, that's, I have to say, he was actually well-groomed as well. Another positive. Um, he seemed to be enjoying it. Be the biggest cock you've had near you. Reckon? That I know of. Okay. Certainly that we've been involved in in the lifestyle. Yeah. So he was well-groomed. Yeah. It was really enjoyable. Yeah.

And you totally missed out on fucking Archerer but we'll get to that but but behind me and beside me this is where you need to take over yes so behind and beside what was happening is well at this point i'd um started playing with cheryl uh she was going down on me giving great absolutely spectacular blow job i got in trouble from sea in a little bit in a little bit but i'll explain that um but the newlyweds had come in to the room and they'd stripped down and um uh i was then at this point going down on cheryl and the newlyweds uh leaned over no they hadn't done anything at this point the newly how do you know you weren't you just told me to explain what's going on behind you.

Because I went down on Cheryl before the newlyweds tried to get involved. Yeah, but you've gone back to Archer since then. Oh, you just hadn't mentioned it. So Cheryl actually has a clitoral. We're at 48 minutes in the podcast, so I'm trying to move things along a little. Let's just speed it up then. Cheryl has a clitoral piercing, and I think you said something about that. And I was like, I've never been down on a girl who has a clitoral piercing. Would you mind if I went down on you? And she was like, are you kidding me? Like, why are you not here already going down on me?

Get on in there, yeah. That was interesting. Different. I don't know. It was different. Yeah. It was very different. Yeah. I mean, for me, the clitoral piercing would hit your teeth every now and again. Yeah, it was a little weird. Yeah. But again, see, when this stuff's happening, I don't know then what's happening with Archer. I don't know if anyone's with him. We'll see you next time. Fiddle piercing would hit your teeth every now and again. Yeah, it was a little weird. Yeah. But again, see, when this stuff's happening, I don't know then what's happening with Archer.

I don't know if anyone's with him. Also, no, Archer's now with the – he's gone back with the soft swap couple. And they were – you know, he was – she was going down on him while her husband was fucking her from behind. So it was all getting pretty hot and heavy over there as well. Right. Now – so in In walks the newlyweds, and at this stage, I'm now going down on Cheryl. He's going down on me. Arch is going down on you. So we're lying on our backs next to each other. Pretty much. Yeah. And then, so I get...

Sorry, Cheryl gets a tap on the shoulder and gets asked by the newlyweds whether they can whether she can get involved and cheryl looks at her does not answer and it doesn't doesn't really get a chance to answer because a newlywed female plants a massive kiss on her, which Cheryl wasn't particularly interested in. So we then started, from there on it started getting, well, it got awkward from there, and it only got more and more awkward to the point that we shut down the whole thing and left. So Archer was going down on me, and the husband ofwed couple started touching me. Yeah.

Started touching my breasts. Yeah, and he was, yeah. And then I'm now in mode of fending off, plus Cheryl was as well. Archer already knew what was going on and he was trying to stop things from happening as well because the guy and girl from the newlyweds got involved without really any permission. Or looks or anything. Yeah, I mean, it had been pretty obvious throughout the day that nobody of that group was interested in them. I mean, certainly even for me, I think anyone would have noted that they were constantly being... Well, we hadn't had a conversation really with them, so...

No, we'd done our best not to have a conversation so that that shut it down so basically we we exited from there we got dressed we left no cheryl first asked whether we were a full full swap couple oh right okay which which obviously led us to believe that they were interested in having sex with us which we were interested in having sex with them as well mm-hmm very much so yeah so um what we didn't what we didn't cover though is uh i so i was actually on the verge of coming in cheryl's mouth and i said to her look you need to stop otherwise i'm going to come in your mouth and she said to me that's my favorite thing right and c had not heard this conversation all right and i leaned over to c and said i'm about to come and she said have you asked have you asked oh my god are you going to do this what if it pisses her off and about three seconds after that is when i came in her mouth and then c gave me this horrible look of i can't believe believe you did that, thinking that there'd been no discussion.

Anyway, we discussed that afterward when we got back to the room. There was certainly a discussion and Cheryl firmly enjoyed it. But even half an hour, 45 minutes later, wouldn't give me a kiss goodbye that night because she was concerned that I'd be freaked out by the taste of her mouth, which is very, I mean, it's very nice of her, but it wouldn't have worried me that much at all. Thank you.

wouldn't give me a kiss goodbye that night because she was concerned that I'd be freaked out by the taste of her mouth, which is very, I mean, it's very nice of her, but it wouldn't have worried me that much at all. Did Archer manage to get you off at that point? No. No. And at this point, I would like to also say that the last three interactions we've had with any couples, Dee has quite enjoyed himself and I have upsettingly not. So that's okay.

we just need to find a couple that will fix that or a single guy um we are we are on the hunt in singapore so if there's any listeners in singapore who are sexy single guys or couples who are intelligent and you know uh exciting and reasonably easy on the eye we're happy to field emails slash calls slash post-it notes on our desks. Okay. We do need to speed this up because we're talking a lot. So the next day we had actually been out on a scuba diving trip. We wanted to do something away from the resort and spend a bit of time together and also we're avid scuba divers. So we went out there.

I got seasick. We were extremely tired. We had a nap. Not much else to say about that. Yeah, we had a nap. Came out, had some food. Actually, there was something I wanted to cover on that night and that was C wanted to go out. I was actually – I said to her, look, I'm happy to stay in the room tonight and just chillax because – No, it's later. Is it? Is it another night? Yeah, this is the painting night. Oh, that's right. Sorry. Yes, the body painting night. So this is where we were talking about before where I left.

So we went to the pool, had a lot of fun, kept talking to Archer and Cheryl and kind of talking to the other guys and everyone was kind of hugging each other and touching each other and having a really good time. In the pool.

In in the pool I had to leave because I was going to get body painted yes um so there was a full body paint artist there and um I wanted to put my name on the list because I've never had it done before and um and and where else what other better opportunity would you have than to be at a naked resort so I went and got ready and got the body paint done and i was a little bit late to um to come back and see and catch up with sea and that was because of the uh taco and um cocoon of safety that we'd organized because we had another guest who'd turned up who was he turned up very drunk the cup both of them the couple was very drunk um and he was not fully in control of his faculties so he'd actually there was a lady up on the bar standing up on the bar two ladies that were dancing up on the pool bar um he swam on up and just spanked one of them on the ass hard enough that half the pool turned around to look um we didn't know this at the time but he did not know her and in fact he was um he was chastised by a number of the people around her and said you can't do that don't you ever do that again and he was basically pushed away by the guys who were around that lady which i think is more than fair i i actually at that point said uh to the guys around me he is not going to last long at this resort if he keeps that shit up yeah i mean i wasn't there to see it but absolutely i mean if that was me on the bar and somebody had come up and i mean you said it was loud enough to be oh yeah it would have been painful No, I mean, it left a big red hand mark on her ass.

So, you know, it was entirely inappropriate. Additionally, at this point, his wife, who was also really drunk, had taken on one of the guys from the group that we were hanging out with and just planted him against the pool wall and basically lunged at his face. That's the only way I can describe it, to the point where his wife had to go over and actually break it up. That's not good. Yeah. So what are we at here? We're at night two. Three. Night three? Night three. Yes, this is night three.

So I go and get painted and when we were standing there and the artist kind of said, like, do you want to get flowers on you? Because this was the neon night. And I was like, oh, yeah, flowers would be okay. I don't know. And Dee and I were chatting amongst each other and we were like, well, what about a sexy robot like that mechanical mechatronics kind of stuff coming out of the skin type thing? Yeah, and that's what you ended up going with. And for those of you who haven't looked at Twitter, you should.

It looked amazing, so amazing that the next day the artist painted this nearly the same thing with some changes. Yeah, she had her hand and her arm done. Yeah, and her face done. Yeah, because she was advertising for him. Yes, on one of the hostesses. Yeah. Which was... So, da-da-da, we've started a trend. Yeah, so it was really cool, really hot. Took me a lot of convincing to get C to go to the event. Sans underpants. Sans underpants. She got painted without the underwear on, and I said to her when she was getting painted, if you want to wear it with underwear, you have to put it on now.

She got painted without the underwear, and then later on decided she was going to put the underwear on, which to me just sort of destroyed the whole thing. I managed to get her out without them, and did you regret that? No. But I was very awkward, because now we're talking about night events naked. So we head on to the entertainment area. So you head out. Basically, the disco's upstairs. You're downstairs and there's all sorts of other things happening. And I head out to go on the runway.

so I get told by sexy Anna that I have to go and do the fashion show runway scenario so again like it was a big step for me to kind of be out naked when everybody else is wearing clothing, you know. But also it was then I was in the spotlight and had to do a bit of a runway to show off the body paint. It was really interesting. You know, Dee was hanging out with the group and looking from the sidelines.

And then we headed up to the disco area again where everybody else was kind of wearing clothes and there i am hanging out naked and every single person in that disco when c walked in stopped looked and went my god she looks gorgeous um you had that night had more compliments poked at you than i think you've had in the lifestyle up until now ladies and guys and i might add from people who that there were people who walked across the room to say you look amazing in that and you did you look really cool it felt it did feel awkward though i'm gonna say i felt very awkward at a disco yeah so we were i mean we were trying to have a dance we haven't even started talking about how you were sticking to the chairs yet oh my god yeah i sat i sat down with d because the chairs are all like that vinyl and then d was like hey let's get another drink i'm i'm you know i'm thirsty do you want one and and i was like yeah i'm gonna come with you though and went to get up now for anyone who's sat naked on a vinyl chair and you try to get up sticky it's almost like a band-aid ripping off you I don't know.

going to come with you though and went to get up now for anyone who's sat naked on a vinyl chair and you try to get up sticky it's almost like a band-aid ripping off you uh i realized after i stood up how much that hurt and my ass was a little bit red as well from kind of sticking on that chair yeah but that was and also that was a bit weird sitting around on chairs naked as well when everybody else is clothed you were concerned i was concerned but concerned, but I think some of the people in that group kind of, especially the quieter couple, I think they thought it was a bit.

I don't think so. You don't think so? No, not at all. I think that was all in your head. So a few things about body paint. We realized that I would have to probably get rid of said body paint before playing with anybody. We'd spoken about that earlier in the evening. Otherwise, it would rub off on everyone. Then realised the next day that that was not a prerequisite. Yes, when actually... When Archer turned up with body paint all over him. Even though he wasn't painted. Interesting.

But we were kind of hanging out at the bar, chatting to everyone, sitting down, talking to the group, having a bit of of a dance but because we'd been up early scuba diving I'd been seasick throwing up over the side of the boat then drinking then body paint then out at the club I realized that in fact I was drinking and partying for the sake of it I was actually forcing myself to try and have fun yeah which means that you would also been forcing yourself to play right even though you're even though we were terribly interested in and i wanted to but it was just at the point where i was actually kind of forcing the night like i i got i realized that i was you know so trying to have trying to kind of catch up with these guys trying to make sure Dee and I had fun so basically I had suggested to Dee that I was thinking we should go back to the room he was the gentleman and of course the partner and we do everything together of course but was he you know not 100% happy with it yes and the reason behind that was that he was keen on Archer and Cheryl.

He wanted to have a good time. How often are you at Desire? So, of course, he was a little bit upset by the fact. We went back to the room, of course, but it wasn't, I guess, where your head was at for the evening.

Well, it wasn't, you know, you that night you always you have a plan you have a plan when you go out and I said of course I have a plan you know I have an understanding of where I want the night to lead I don't necessarily have uh I don't have goals in mind I don't have well let's shag these people or you know I don't have anything definitely identified but that night I had the plan in mind I suppose that I wanted to go out i wanted to have some fun and if the night should go that way we would finish what we started with archer archer and cheryl invite them back to our room and you know play with them play with them there um and that and your decision that night and i understand the decision and you know it was a bit of pill to swallow at the time but we got through it we discussed it as you do um and i am 100 in line with us you know we we do things together we play together we party together we sleep together you know we do all the things together that we should be doing so i um yeah it was a bit of pill to swallow at the time but totally rational understand why we did it at the end now i need to ask you a question though given that we found out the next day that they were leaving that morning would that have changed that night yes but again but it would have been a forced yeah because it would have been a well tonight's my only option so last night i have to okay i guess just throw it in there so yes it would have to quote a you have to rally yeah so i mean look it it wasn't it it wasn't necessarily a bad thing would i have probably gone back the room, scrubbed off that body paint and started again?

Yes. I think that had something. I mean, it was the fact that I was feeling sick earlier in the day, the fact that I was a bit tired, and I guess the fact that I felt a little bit exposed that probably kind of threw me as well.

But we did go back to the room, and I did spend the next half an hour scrubbing off the body paint because in my head i thought it would come off with water um the reality is it came off with a scourer yes it did uh one loofer 30 minutes um and one dead loofer at the end of it i think this is probably a good time for us to um take it take a break let's call it let's call it we might have To do a design too. Yeah, we were not anticipating that this good time for us to take a break. Let's call it. Let's call it. We might have to do a desire too.

Yeah, we were not anticipating that this would go for as long as it has. So we decided, you know, mid-podcast here to break it up into two. So. Thank you for listening. We'll chat to you again on our desire podcast too. But for now, this is C. And this is Dee. And this is Swinging Down Under.