D Takes Over The Masterpodding! – P14

Transcript

This is Dee, and this is Swinging Down Under. Well, I thought since C was overseas for a little while, and she did a bit of a must prior to leaving, I thought I'd have a shot at one as well. I'm not sure that mine will be quite as interesting as C's, as she has a much lovelier voice than I believe I do, but, you know, I'll try and keep it real here, people, and keep things interesting for the de-master-podding experience. There's a few things I want to talk about tonight. The first one's probably swinger etiquette, or more importantly, swinger-dating etiquette.

You know, how to deal with the scenario with there's two couples out on a date and um somebody needs to figure out who's going to pay now as a guy uh one of these things for guys it's generally fairly simple because normally it's up to the guy who pays but uh let's let's have a look at that tonight also what to eat and drink prior to playing. Just some etiquette, I suppose, around sexting, cock shots, guys, cock shots, you know, and how to deal with the group text or, in most cases, a group kick and why you should have a kick account.

so why you should have a Kik account let's start with that Kik gives you the the great ability to be able to not give away any sort of trackable information now if you listen to a couple of our other podcasting friends you'll hear that just recently they've two of two of them have actually been tracked through their through their um mobile phone number now initially c and i used to give out our mobile phone numbers and um learned very quickly that this is possibly not the best option in terms of you know keeping things to ourselves to start with you know once you get to know people a little better and have spent some time with them whether it be pants on or off it allows you to truly understand whether those people are somebody that you want to give your phone number to you won't give your phone number to just anybody you meet in the street and and you know i don't think it's any different with swinging including now let's just kick on into dating etiquette.

We've had many dates now since we've been in the lifestyle and a vast majority of those have been people that we enjoyed catching up with and have either played with or will enjoy catching up with again and possibly playing with you know but that said there is the first time around always some nervousness certainly for me certainly also I can speak for C in the fact that she experienced that and we do every time I mean frankly if there wasn't nervousness then there's no excitement and excitement is really the name of the game in making this whole lifestyle interesting for everyone involved so when you turn up to your first catch up with a with another swinging couple as the male of the of the group or not the group but the male of the the couple you tend to the group, but the male of the couple, you tend to really start to notice the fact that the simplicity of the single male, single female date is no longer relevant.

There's crossover talk between the male and female.

There's conversations around things that you're probably not used to dealing with you know kids family that sort of thing when you're dating male and female one-on-one and additionally you know who's going to buy the drinks who's going to pay for dinner if you're having it becomes a new thought in your head that you've never really had to cover out before because typically the men do it unless of course you've got a modern new age woman who decides she's like to split the bill with you but again typically typically the the males expected and and you know certainly to my mind I also feel that I should do that you know it's a gentlemanly thing to do so how do the gentleman fight over the bill at the end of the night well generally to my experience there is a little bit of a tussle normally there's credit cards flying and maybe some 50 notes or or whatever to try and settle the bill uh mail to mail under the under and almost I suppose take some kudos because you know males are inherently competitive and this does come out in this part of the evening that said it's normally settled fairly quickly because as I said you tend to speak about a lot of things you wouldn't normally cover off and because of that you're a little bit more relaxed with each other.

So the males tend to step back and most of the time we find ourselves just simply splitting the bill 50-50 down the middle. Whether there's a little more spent on one side or not you know this is probably a lifestyle of swings and roundabouts pardon the pun and with that in mind we we all need to um you know get along especially this time around because normally for cni the first time we meet is not the first time we play. We normally meet at least once, possibly twice, before we actually get involved with another couple.

And this gives you a bit of insight into who they are, what they are, and how they're going to act and react around you. We've normally found most of the couples we've dated have been quite relaxed and quite open to just splitting the bill which which works for us you know um we have had one couple who at the end of the night divvied up the tally of the bill and and you know frighteningly got to the point of almost saying you know i had one cracker you had two crackers c had five crackers, my wife had one cracker as well, so we need to divide that up, you know, in a different way.

So can I say it's very important that everyone's just a little bit more relaxed around this, you know, again, swings and roundabouts, nice and, you know, we're there to share the experience and I think, therefore, it probably simple simple enough for us to be shared there to share the bill as well so for the newbies out there uh look try and keep it as relaxed as possible in terms of who's paying all else fails you know ask the question the elephant in the room won't ever go away without somebody actually putting it out there so typically you know if everything goes well first time around there's normally a chance for some some group texting um in our case we kick it off sorry unfortunate pun there in our case we always use kick now to allow us to to um keep that somewhat anonymity i did manage to choose a disgustingly big word there um one that's also very difficult to pronounce but uh we we we do use kick and we find it quite good for a number of reasons the first one is as i've already mentioned it allows you to wear somewhat of a mask but the second one is um it allows for for group group text to any size now certainly in our case we've only ever used it up to four but have found it really good because once you get four four people on a text scenario generally the conversation flows quite quickly you know we're at work does tend to slow you down a bit of course but you still have the ability to do this while you're at work and um you know the natural progression seems to be into some sexy conversation some verbal foreplay and and then possibly if things progress either some interesting images or the next step which is another catch-up and then hopefully some play now that said um there is a really interesting question to be asked here and it's something that i'm not sure we've gotten right even in the the times we've been involved in sexting and that is when to broach the photo now boys c mentioned um the cock shop generally not the most welcome of all the images now cocks are very difficult to photo and make look pretty Even the prettiest of penises is very difficult to photo and make look pretty.

Even the prettiest of penises is very difficult to photo and make look nice. Now, we've had some cock shots sent to us in the past that we had some concerns about. Meet the individual, meet the cock live, and it's a totally different beast.

So, my tip to everyone out there, every male out there anyway is that the cock shot is probably something best left until somebody asks for it now i saw a little post on twitter tonight which i think was from the swinging milf who has a fantastic podcast and i'm not sure how she manages to do this every fortnight um or month by herself you know i'm currently 10 minutes in and really struggling to think about what the next thing is i'm going to discuss but uh the swinging mill post posted something up on twitter which gives a really spectacular understanding of what you should and shouldn't do when it comes to the cock shot so i honestly believe that uh look if you got guys if you if you don't know uh twitter's a place to get on there follow the swinging milf she uh not only is fantastic for advice but also a very sexy listen when it comes to a podcast but there's generally a substantial amount of images sent prior to the next catch-up or certainly has been in in our sexting and some of them are really quite spectacular and a heads up but again be careful opening these at work because i may or may not have been caught by a manager with uh with a an image that possibly wasn't as appropriate on a work phone as it should have been now thankfully the lovely lady who sent c and i this image looked fairly similar to c so i managed to palm it off as a you know a bit of a sexy interaction between myself and my partner and and that's that was enough for my for my manager to leave it alone and not ask the question again however he did make the statement that he'll probably never ever swipe left or right when it comes to me showing him a picture or something at work so the real question though is when are these shots appropriate when do they become appropriate and it's a tough one to answer because it's different I think for every couple every couple.

And you've got to pick it when you meet the couple. Now, that's fine if you have met the couple, but in a lot of instances, you haven't. So you're really trying to figure out when is it that I can slip in, you know, a photo or something a little bit risque into the sexting to step things up a notch. I'm not sure that I can give anyone the answer on that. What I've found is typically you know when you know. The people that you're talking with will generally give, well, subtle or less than subtle clues that it's something they're interested in.

And frankly, you you know you need to have probably a good reason my boss has never swiped left or right a good stash of um of interesting shots on your phone or you know on your device that you can then pass on pass on to these uh to these guys or you know to the other couple it makes life somewhat interesting of course you know hiding that hiding that screen when uh when people are wandering past you it's um it's really quite interesting to see what people are willing to pass around of themselves once they get to know you a little better. And frankly, horny as hell.

It's really gorgeous, some of the things that we've seen come through to our kick account.

See and I both have our own separate kick accounts and it's great to be able to use that as a a bit of a sounding board for the the next couple that we might end up spending some quality time with so another thing that c touched on and i think it's important that that i look at this as well and from a man's perspective is is the single guy now i think for anyone who has listened into our podcast from the beginning the the call for the single guy really came from me i find it very interesting to watch see um have sex with another man and uh look i think she's going to love it as well well growing i think she loves it desperately but she won't tell you know won't tell us that on podcast or me that you know it's like her little secret but um single guys out there it's very tough to find one that meets c standard however in our case and i think a lot of cases are the people that we talk to who are interested in the mmf it's important to actually We'll be right back.

case and i think a lot of cases are the people that we talk to who are interested in the mmf it's important to actually appeal to the male in the relationship as well because frankly the last thing i want to do is put c in a situation of any sort of uncertainty uncertainty or lack of safety so and a lot of men that's kind of our part in this whole swinging thing is to make sure that Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.

uncertainty or lack of safety so and a lot of men that's kind of our part in this whole swinging thing is to make sure that our couple or our other halves whether they be mine or other couples feel safe because as soon as the safe is gone so is the sex and the sexy so we um we we need to be involved in this because we need the um the male single male to to appeal to us as well now i'm not saying necessarily sexually appeal you know um certainly helps if they're attractive and i think most men in the lifestyle can look at another man whether they're straight uh well anywhere on the ladder between straight and homosexual they can look at another man and say well i think he looks um he looks nice and i think he looks like something that my partner might be interested in for us certainly i did the vetting on anyone who came into our relationship and i continue to be that vet it's uh it's important to me that the male is not somebody who's going to make sea feel unsafe but also not somebody who's going to take advantage of the opportunity and um realistically just make an absolute dick of themselves you know single men out there provided you're gentlemanly polite have at least two sentences that you can string together and are relatively attractive and you know by relatively attractive I'm not saying that you have to be a rock-solid superstar because you know for for me I'm certainly not that but I can hold my own don't get me wrong but And, you know, for me, I'm certainly not that.

But I can hold my own, don't get me wrong. But, you know, I'm lacking in the rippling six-pack department. And certainly just because you have that wouldn't rule you out for me. And because I'm the gatekeeper of you getting to my partner, my darling girl, Well, you know, you've got to make sure that you actually fit the part that I need you to fit. Now, the part I need you to fit, and this is, I mean, there's going to be a lot of people out there that are going to want to hang me for this. But, you know, the best way I can put it is somebody who's somewhat like the James Bond character.

You know, somebody who's got a little bit of humor to them, a lot of sexuality, I suppose, underlying, doesn't have to be overtly sexual, can also still woo my girl you know and woo in doing so will make me feel comfortable with who they are and how they're going to interact with her both inside and outside of the bedroom you know the outside of the bedroom is the stuff that really paves the way to the bedroom now we have had guys in the past and I certainly have again because I'm the gatekeeper who we've met with and after the fact they've contacted and said hey look we really enjoyed your time and enjoyed the time with you guys and I would really like to catch up with you again.

Now, I actually, in a couple of instances, have said, no, look, I don't think I'm willing to have myself and C catch up with you again. And, look, C was on the same path as well as what I was, so it made things a lot easier. But, again, due to the fact that we're not willing to lower our standards for each of us, that wouldn't really matter anyway. If I was not interested in C being with any of the guys, then, frankly, that wouldn't happen.

But this particular individual came back and stated to me well you know after me giving some some advice in terms of how to approach his next catch up with a couple he turned around and said look i'm actually a very different person in the bedroom than i am out of it now the reason that he didn't make it into the bedroom was because he was a little too meek for us he wasn't uh he wasn't uh somebody who could hold a conversation somebody who could keep see and myself emotionally and intellectually stimulated by having him in the room now i passed that on to him through goodwill i suppose to help help with the next next time around.

I've been a single guy. I know what it's like. It can sometimes be very difficult to find, well, a single woman, let alone a couple that's going to play with you. So I passed that on to him, and his response was, well, you know, I'm a very different guy in bedroom than I am out of it.

Well, unfortunately, you will never get into a couple's bedroom if you don't have the right attitude and the right personality and seem interesting and appealing prior to getting into the bedroom so it's something to keep in mind I mean I'm not saying go out there and practice but shit the ability to string some sentences together about yourself is certainly the way to go and just because you've got a rippling six-pack doesn't guarantee you a a spot in certainly our bedroom so one of the other questions that i posed i suppose for myself just recently and i haven't really covered this off with c2 well just yet but you know the question about are we now actually swingers now a lot of people out there in podcast land have listened to our our um forays and they're now you know we're seeing a lot of emails and stuff which is fantastic i might add i really uh see and i really love getting emails um which has actually you know shot up quite a bit in the last month i suppose we're seeing a lot more emails it's really nice to hear from people and hear what they want to want us to talk about but one of the things that um that i always suppose came up is is how to tell when you're a swinger now this is a really good question and i'm not sure that even yet we still define ourselves as swingers and frankly we're 12 months nearly into the lifestyle now and um look we've enjoyed the whole way through we've learned a lot about each other but and also about other people and we have had a whole lot of fun but does that define us as now swingers well i think probably at this point we've gotten to the point where we've had enough involvement in this now that it really has become a bit of a lifestyle for us.

You know, this month has been a slow month for us in terms of catching up with other couples. And, well, we have caught up with a few other couples, but we've not played with anyone for the entire month. Now, there was no reason behind that.

it was purely just well you know we we haven't had the right month for it we did really um we did really enjoy the the company of a couple of people we've played with in the past and and that i think is why i now define us as swingers it's not because we've played with other people that's pretty easy it's um the fact that we're now actually involving these people in our everyday lives we've got some well certainly for for c and i and i hope the other guys reciprocate we've formed a couple of very strong relationships with other couples and it's not just about the sex, which is fantastic.

You know, we've actually gained more friends and this is something C and I discussed just recently. We've gained more friends in the lifestyle since we've been in it than we have out of it as a, you know, dual income kids um couple it's it's been a a real highlight for us in our in our growth of the circle of friends that we have then you know even now we still every time we catch up with the with the guys that we've met and the majority of them you've heard about.

Sometimes it's pants on, sometimes it's pants off and I think the true definition of when you're a swinger is actually when you catch up with people that you've been involved with with your pants on because it's then clear that there's actually an emotional investment in these people a friendship investment rather than it just being dumb sex you know dumb sex is something we've all had when we were younger you know 18 year old dancing a nightclub taking people home but there was no real investment in that now the true swinger or the true definition of swinging for me is the fact that you are actually emotionally invested in the entire lifestyle.

And certainly, I believe, well, I certainly am at this point, and I know that C is more than interested and really enjoys hanging out with these people, whether it be pants on or off. One more thing that i'd like to cover around and and this is in regards to you know incidences on on both sides of of our friendship group us and also on the other side is um there seems to be a lot of apologizing out there for um for for women getting their period now i need that to stop I think this is pretty simple.

If a period arrives, expectedly or unexpectedly, either direction, whether it's on my couple's side, your couple's side, or any couple's side, I just think it goes without saying it's going to be a pants-on event.

And also, it not something that need that requires an apology i'm more than happy if that's the case that we just um enjoy each other's company and and leave it there now this isn't aimed at anyone for those of you out there who've been involved in or have used this this um there's a reason for pants on pants on chats recently um it's really more about the fact that i think it's um something that needs not be apologized for it happens it does happen um the next thing that um i'd like to cover off i suppose is the is the um random texts and the the hilarious things that we've had happen along the way in terms of miscommunications and things like that um there's there's one that's spring that one that really springs out or should I say springs to mind, and that's a text message we covered off just recently, well, in our podcast around, you know, I've got two hours before a game, before a football game here, how's about it, and see cop this thing.

And frankly, it ended any chance of that individual ever seeing the inside of her pants and did the same thing for me as well it's it's quite interesting some of the things that that actually do come across your plate and um you know it sounds like single man is where it comes from but that's not normally the case it's actually there's a whole lot of things that come from couples. We've had couples, and I might add C has been party to this also, has innocently sent a kick message to another couple out of the two couples that she was kicking at the time.

Now, given that it was entirely out of context for them they they were very curious as to why this came their way and um it was really quite a hilarious explanation as to why thankfully the couple that we were kicking or the two couples that we were kicking knew each other and uh you know we we got together and had a pretty good laugh about it after the time but it's um it's very interesting to see some of the things that come across from from uh from other people um certainly certainly some of the even some of the images you know that when you see them you think what what was that all about you know an image of an open mouth for example um nothing entirely sexy about that you know it's uh just let's just keep it cool people you know let's just keep keep everything quite sexy um keep the cock shots to yourself and the other thing that i um wanted to discuss is what to eat and drink when you're catching up with people now i know we're a little out of sequence here but it just came back to me um let's just be careful of garlic here people garlic um and also tacos tacos will there's a few things i think i've learned on the way through being a single male you know trying to date dating dating single women and that is there's certain foods that simply should never be eaten on the first date one of those is tacos another one spaghetti bolognese i mean i love myself a spaghetti bolognese I love myself a taco, but simply not the best way to go, especially if they're coated in garlic.

But they're two things that end up generally all over you and all over the people you're eating with. Not the best way to go. But, you know, just keep it smart. Eat the things that don't smell.

Eat the things that don't make your your mouth taste funny and i'm sure it'll make life a hell of a lot easy for easier for you when you um when and if you do make it back to the bedroom but frankly if you don't have the the ability to steer clear of of uh things like garlic then possibly this whole lifestyle thing not your cup of tea because frankly it's uh it's a requirement that you don't stink maybe after the event you're allowed to smell after the event a little but not um mainly because you should have worked up a sweat but not before the event that's generally fr generally frowned upon in the lifestyle.

Well, guys and girls out there, I think I've probably covered all I wanted to cover, and it's a punchy one, this one, I suppose, half an hour. But if there's anything you'd like to talk to me about, you can get me now. I've i've also got a new email account it's d at swing down swingingdownunder.com and uh you can find us on twitter at swing down under at facebook um at swinging down under uh we're around on itunes and stitcher for the for the podcast. And look, we love to hear from you. If you want to send an email to the both of us, then we've got an email address.

That's C and D at swingingdownunder.com. And we're also just, we've also just finalized our webpage, which is um the three w's at swinging uh sorry three w's swingingdownunder.com um come in check us out enjoy the uh enjoy the podcast and uh some of the images and the the tweets that you'll see coming from us uh until the next time this is and an absentee and this is swinging down under