D Masterpod – Male Body Image in the Lifestyle – P29

Transcript

Speaker1: Welcome to our podcast. I'd love to say it's C&D this time around, but unfortunately you're stuck again with a de-master-podding event. I'm going to have a bit of a discussion about male, body image, and things like that in the lifestyle. Because for me, after our last event at Nordian New Orleans and Desire, a few things popped into my head. Well, I've got to say, mainly because of my total lack of game at Naughty in New Orleans, which prompted a fairly major event for me in terms of the fact that I didn't really want to be at NIN anymore, nor did I think I wanted to be in the lifestyle. And I'm getting a little ahead of myself here because there's some things that went through my mind that I think probably really had a lot to do with this. And it's only since getting home, being able to slow down and digest them, that I've really started to understand what they are. Now, let me start um ladies you know we constantly us men constantly hear about um grooming for for ladies and you know how much work is involved well after a little bit of thought i i think that we've probably got a bit of bit of a bigger job on our You know, to name a few, we've got back, chest, well, in my case, I've got my head, you've got eyebrows, balls, I mean, balls. Has anybody ever tried to shave something that keeps moving of its own accord and is covered in wrinkles? Ladies, I mean, if C's anything to go by go by she struggles to get around her knees without taking a gouge out every now and again and ankles as well you know so testicles are not an easy thing to shave now add to that not only the tough thing to shave but just imagine you're kicking off a play event with you know your male suitor and you pull down the pants and there's a whole lot of bloody gashes in his testicles well I mean for starters I would never assume that they were just gashes from a razor and I don't think anyone else would either I think the first port of call would be some sort of concern about stds stis whatever you want to call them these days so you know the grooming of the testicles and you know the general groin area is really quite a um a grueling experience certainly for me i can say i've tried both clippers and razor and I haven't gone to waxing yet. I have had some laser in the past, but none of those are fun. Additionally, the laser top end of things can be exceptionally expensive, but I've got a friend, The Law, which you all know now, and a lot of you ran into in Norton, New Orleans, who came along. He's had his boys lasered off, which I've got to say is probably the best way to go. That way you're already primed and any time ready for some play. because there is nothing worse and this is a direct quote from our friends at Swinging Down Under there is, sorry, excuse me at the Aussie Swingers there is nothing worse than going into an event prickly I certainly wouldn't wish that upon any lady to have potentially my testicle in her mouth with prickles all over it. It'd be like sucking on a cactus. So that's the balls. I mean, but then we move on. Ladies, yes, you have hair in your ass crack. You know, most women have that have that however I'm not sure you have the level of shrubbery that most men have in their ass crack certainly me I was not gifted like some of the guys that I've met to have the ability to have no hair on their body now it depends on what the ladies are into but certainly I feel a lot more comfortable and feel I look a lot better without massive hair all over my body. Arse crack is certainly one of those because I firmly believe that there's nothing worse than looking up the bed and seeing an arse crack spread with gaping hair in it whilst i am playing with potentially your wife i hope you can all see where that where that is and the other way around as well i wouldn't like see to look up and see that either so that that is something that you know is a constant battle and i mean that in the true sense of battle it It sometimes is really difficult to align this grooming with your sexual adventures. Now, Naughty in New Orleans and Desire for us, certainly for me, meant constant grooming basically every night. Because, you know, we went there with the idea that there would be some play. Granted, at Naughty, we didn't, certainly Desire, we did. But, you know, it's all about keeping the game up, making sure, you know, you look respectable and you're putting in the required effort. Now, this is probably in stark contrast to some of the people that i saw wandering around naughty in new orleans um in that they you know the guys were really letting the team down certainly in the way they dress but additionally in i could imagine in in other ways as well and certainly uh did see some naked people wandering around that could have done with a little bit of manscaping you know guys for starters trimming around that tree it's the best way to make the tree look bigger if you let the um the underbrush overgrow then the tree starts to look pretty damn small so that's certainly part of the reason that i want to keep that down as well i certainly don't consider myself a, but, you know, any additional visual inch is something that we'd all be appreciative when it comes to being a guy. So, I'm not finished yet. I mean, arse crack, yes, but what about the arse? I mean, again, there's some guys out there, and I'm not too bad, but there are some guys out there that have arse hair. really thick ass hair now the next question becomes with your ass hair do you stop at the bottom of the cheek or do you just continue on down because if you are hairy enough then it looks like you've just shaved a patch out of a I don't know a bear quilt or sorry a bear rug on the floor you know it just looks a little weird again something that ladies don't have to worry about because generally you're only hairy in the spots that i'm gonna say god expected you to be hairy because i don't think god was involved in the amount of hair that men grow all over their body i mean and additionally i'd like to poke some holes in in darwin's you know theory on evolution given that men grow hair and myself included grow hair out my ears or in my ears at what point in evolution or at what point did it become necessary for for human males to grow hair out their ears i mean it it makes no sense what are you trying to keep out of there what are you filtering nasal hair i can understand but ear hair just just it's just ludicrous but then of course you know i did bring up nasal hair there again ladies the majority of the ladies don't have to deal with nasal hair nor do many have to deal But with vast growth of facial hair that most men have to deal with you know i found it quite funny when c one day decided that she was going to give me a face give my face a shave um the first thing she did was started shaving as quickly as she shaved her legs and i quickly slowed her down on that mainly because i was concerned she may decapitate me or remove a couple of cheeks what um she ended up doing was figuring out how coarse facial hair is on males and and when you do shave it it it is a troubling amount of resistance to pulling the razor across the face now in a lot of cases and certainly you know a lot of men you have to deal with that not only on your face but on your chest neck um the really i'm not going to say unlucky but the the really uh hairy guys have to deal with the same on their back now back hair i sort of went around that but back hair is also something that a lot of guys have and a lot of guys have to get rid of now waxing is one way to go however you then have to time things so you know the the next solution to fix that would be shaving i i ask one question though um shave her back from the front without getting your partner involved nigh on impossible people seriously um i'd love to think that i can actually do that but i've not yet been able to actually shave my entire back i have to get c involved and to be honest possibly one of the most embarrassing things i ever have to be um asking her to do so i generally just end up getting myself waxed unfortunately that shit grows back out quicker than you can keep it waxed down because you've got to have the spacing in between and also you have to time it as i said with your play dates which sucks so the next one for me especially at naughty in new orleans again i think everyone's probably heard my little rant by now standing up talking about how the guys had not really lifted to the level of their ladies and i started to question whether i was also that guy i look at my my darling girl and she's look she's beautiful she's got a very attractive figure spectacular tits um great ass i'm an ass man so i'm really all about that um did i mention the tits but also you know she's a beautiful person um i start to wonder well i'm 10 years older than this girl for starters 10 years older so you start to think well does that straight away detriment her in terms of who she might get to play with of her age group now i use age group broadly because you know as we discussed in past podcasts that's really starting to move for us but is it of detriment to her you know am i holding back the team you know i'm bald is that something that slows slows down things so i really started to think about what is it that I'm not doing that could prop well could help keep us in full-on good fun times all the time now not to blow wind up my ass but I believe that once we get to chatting, I generally tend to bring people across the line, I'm going to say. But in a straight up, you know, body to body comparison, am I the guy that's bringing our average down? Well, look, I would have to say that I think yes now Now, I'm not being self-deprecating here, I just believe that C is a much better looker than I am. Now, she's got to totally disagree with me, of course, but I believe that's the case. So, am I, you you know the fat older half of the relationship that's a very good question it's one that i really can't answer without the input of other people and even then look we all know that input's nice but it really comes down to what you what you believe you see when you look in the mirror and certainly at naughty in New Orleans and in Desire I was not happy with where I sat in terms of my my weight and you know my muscle tone and all that sort of thing unfortunately I don't think I ever will be now that doesn't mean that I won't look nice it's more that well no matter who you are you look in the mirror and you find a fault that's just how it works i believe um certainly i look in the mirror and find many faults um you know am i fat or am i showing weight in places that people won't like am i not muscular enough um perfect example of this was that desire and you all heard about this was um a man we met a couple we met and um the guy from the couple is the spitting image of sterling archer from the cartoon series archer now i desperately wanted c to fuck him just because i could then say that she had fucked archer because he was the spitting image in all ways same face same hair same voice even the the grumbling roughness to his voice same body um i think it was the first day we were the first day we were there he was wandering around without a shirt on now one thing about him is that he always had pants on we didn't really figure out until later on why he kept his pants on but he's he was he was a good looking guy a really good looking guy and I think would actually say sploosh, maybe even double sploosh, which is quite relevant considering sploosh is from the Archer cartoon series. And I think it was, yeah, the end of day one, after him wandering around with a shirt on, I was quoted in saying, for the love of God, man, put on a shirt you know it's uh it was quite interesting to see uh somebody wandering around the pool with a constant six-pack and me wandering around the pool with more of a rotund you know carton or or keg uh it wasn't keg but certainly carton maybe a half carton maybe you know 12 beers so it was yeah it was that was quite interesting to me and the way that i started looking at myself and started thinking well you know do i deserve his partner because frankly she's already done better than me so now the term better is I'm sure I'm going to get some mail on that. Better is whatever you define as better. I mean, or worse, or the same. You know, we all have these ideas of what we think is right and what we think isn't. So, that was a pretty, the entire event, both them were were pretty huge for me in terms of understanding myself and understanding the fact that if i do go to events like this i need to be feeling that i'm looking my best or at least looking close to my best interestingly whilst I was in the u.s um i've i actually lost weight um and have lost some weight since we got back from the u.s as well which i would imagine is the kilos of food that we ate while we were there certainly the 4 a.m pizzas at desire is um is not going to do anything for your um for your six pack maybe at the beginning in desire you'll have one by the end it will definitely be more of a pizza pack you know dominoes maybe even little mr pizza pizza you know two pizzas sort of scenario yeah so um so in future for me i'm certainly going to spend a little more time at the gym working on my musculature rather than working on weight loss. I think that, you know, I'm reasonably thin. I would agree. You know, I certainly see that when I look in the mirror. However, I would like to be a little more shapely in terms of the standard, more the stereotypical male triangular upper body, you know, with some legs under it. Never skip leg day, boys. Don't skip leg day because then you just start looking like a triangle walking around on chopsticks, which is not a good look. It's actually, I think, worse
Speaker2: We'll be right back. Don't skip leg day because then you just start looking like a triangle walking around on chopsticks, which is not a good look.
Speaker1: It's actually, I think, worse than having an upper body that matches. Certainly go near any major beach in Australia, you're going to see guys walking around that skip leg day every week. And they look ridiculous, frankly. So that's not what I'm aiming for. I just want to to be the right size or what I believe is the right size so from here I'm going to ask or I'm going to go to the next big question is once Archer got his pants off we noticed that he was rather well hung so let me just put this in perspective he looks like a 60s or looks like a comic book character that's been based on the 60s that is really a super spy based around 007 in terms of the fact that he's hot intelligent well built he's also well hung add to that he just happens to be a doctor and he just happens to have done some you know doctors without borders stuff just to add to the fact that he has everything so that was um very interesting in terms of how i felt i wouldn't sound ridiculously well hung but i'm certainly not small i don't think i am any of the ladies out there that we've been with certainly put your hand up and tell me i'm wrong if you think i am but um with that in mind i started to wonder whether you know whether i am not again well-rounded enough to do the job there um again once once we get into the bedroom now this is not purely about about archer it's more that there was a there were a whole lot of things running through my head up until that point and this was just one just an addition that sort of pushed me over the line um yeah it's even now i struggle to understand what is behind that because i um yeah, I just, I can't work that one out. I can't work a lot of things out. Add to this, ladies, you know, us men have had a lot of discussions on this. The whole not being able to get it up thing. Now, I think most men have been in this situation. I've got to thank whoever it is for the fact that I have yet to get to the point Thank you. I think most men have been in this situation. I've got to thank whoever it is for the fact that I have yet to get to the point of having to play and not being able to get it up. Now I know my time will come and I know that it will suck but I haven't yet gotten to that point. Now if the ladies want to play but you know their gear is not agreeing with them at that particular point in time you know we all just reach for the loot bottle the loot bottle is a saving grace for a lot of potential um disasters i suppose when it comes to playing and the ladies Guys, we have that ability. Now, just FYI, as I discussed in the Desire podcast, I actually did buy some Viagra whilst I was in Mexico and bought some back with me. I haven't tried it yet. Looking forward to that. I can tell you C is not looking forward to that at all because she's concerned that i may damage her because um yeah typically erections are not a major problem for me so she's concerned that i may i may break her now i promised her that if i was going to take it i would be sharing uh sharing the little blue pill or probably half the little blue pill with at least uh one other lady um potentially some more depending on who wants to volunteer for that so yeah that that's always a bit of a concern as well for the guys out there and it certainly has been for me it's been a concern getting hard but i've never had the issue just yet but i know when i delve into that rabbit hole it's going to be bottomless and i will probably end up leaving the room leaving the room frustrated and somewhat annoyed at myself so that's um that's a little rundown on on you know me and my own body images, body image issues that I think a lot of men struggle with. You know, we're not impervious to this stuff. However, I don't think a lot of guys talk about it, which is part of the reason I'm doing this podcast. There's been a world of things that I've been concerned about on the way through this lifestyle some of them uh really quite ludicrous you know are my balls clean enough things like that you know that is something provided you you know shower regularly or something crazy like that and use soap and occasionally spray some deodorant at your armpits you're generally going to be in pretty good order but and by generally i mean you have to do that a lot more regularly than at some stage you know for for some of the boys out there who are actually grubs um yeah it's it's generally i think quite difficult to get to the point where you smell bad. So, probably a little ludicrous for me to be worried about how clean my balls are, given the fact that I would typically have a shower before going to any sort of event that I was going to play at. Certainly, Naughty in New Orleans made that a little more interesting, given that you're out all day in the sun and the heat and humidity of new orleans and then only to potentially come back and play um you know we're not averse to some daytime play at all so we thought both of us that that would be quite interesting given the temperature there but the main reason for this cast was to really just say hey guys um if there's any of them who listen to us there's a we're we all have the same concerns we all look in the mirror and judge ourselves the same way am i too tanned am i not tanned enough am i too fat am i not fat enough am I you know the list goes on you know for me realistically I think um probably the musculature and the and the constant grooming is probably my number two number one two concern in terms of my self-image but you know we all have different ones and i don't think we're any different to the ladies in that regard i just i do think though it's not very common out there in the lifestyle for for the ladies to pay the the comment to the guys that the guys quite regularly play to them uh pay to them which is you know we regularly tell our ladies or ladies of play partners or general ladies in the street maybe not in the street in singapore because it'll get you arrested but certainly in other streets that that they look nice you know whether they're clothed unclothed men are constantly reminding ladies about how good they look and how well put together they are and how good their hair is and all that sort of thing um a lot less common coming back the other way ladies now do i expect my little voice in a sea of voices will make that change no i don't but i'm still going to throw it out there and say girls ladies it's um it's time you know the guys are putting in just as much effort generally as what you are to make themselves look appealing for you um and also you know we also have the the added benefit i suppose of having to make ourselves look at least i'm not going to say desirable but at least functioning for the guys because certainly for me i would not allow my want to be with a sexy woman of a of a couple that has a huge differential in terms of their attractiveness just because um just because she's more attractive than he is would i allow that to actually happen or for for see you know i'm not interested in her and i hate using the phrase but taking one for the team it's not really about that you know it's just more about us finding couples that are engaging interesting and sexually physically attractive to us which can change depending on what their intelligence and intellect is like so ladies time to step up time to make your man feel good about what he's doing for you there's no doubt that c does that for me regularly um but also out in the lifestyle it's time for something other than a discussion on potentially his penis and his brain you know we have discussed many times both with people in and out of the lifestyle how cock shots are not the thing they want to see but as soon as we see body shots generally the first point of first port of call there is to figure out what's wrong with it you know rather than what's what's right so ladies take up the challenge um i fully expect that you'll make well i mean if you're not making your man feel good about how he looks if he looks good to you then frankly i don't think you're um really doing your job and i mean job in the purest sense of the word additionally um ladies who meet with other lifestyling men out in the out in the field of play it would be nice for all of us i'm sure to hear a wow, nice ass or, you know, hey, you're groomed. Whatever the thing is that springs to mind at the time because I think the guys are actually missing out on that one. I don't think the applause is as regular in the male direction as it is in the female. Now, it sounds like been on the soapbox for a while it's not really what i was aiming for more just to to give real idea of the fact that guys go through this through this spiral just as much as women do we spiral up we spiral down we just do a much better job of hiding it I think than what the ladies do so that's really it for this cast I know it's a relatively short one which is probably good because half an hour of listening to my voice alone is probably enough for most of the ladies and men out there but, I look forward to your comments. And if you want to tell me I look sexy, then please shoot me an email, text. Actually, I'll even take that on a piece of paper via snail mail if you want to tell me that. Otherwise, I look forward to you guys hearing again from us very shortly. This is Dee signing off from Swinging Down Under.