Cap D'Agde Nudist Village & Swinger Mecca has been an unknown destination for too long. We peel back the real Cap D'Agde in our 2 part series
Cap D'Agde
If you've ever been curious what Cap D'Agde is about or how to find likeminded swingers couples at this predominantly nudist village we're going to walk you through how.
Join us in our 2 part series talking about our recent experience at the famous Cap D'Agde takeover by SpicyMatch.com, we dig in and share our first few days on site, navigating this new adventure and set the scene for the next very juicy part coming soon.
We spill the tea on Cap D'Agde and hope to educate, titillate or astonish you in our adventures.
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Transcript
I don't think I've ever seen so much sex. Kate never put enough spray on my balls. But when that first happened, it took me by surprise. And I think the second or third time I was still like, what the fuck is happening? If I'm fucking out in the sun for that long, I'm going to look like a little lobster boy by the end of it. Reach out if you shave your arse off, guys. Why do you have to sit on a towel? So you don't leave vagin arsehole marks on everything that you sit on. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the Swingings and non-monogamous community has.
We hope you enjoy. Now let's get into the episode. G'day guys and welcome back to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. We are going to talk about Karp D'arg today. Actually, this is probably going to end up being a two-part podcast series, I would imagine, because there's a lot of stuff to cover about the place, how to get there, what we experienced, quite a lot to cover. But look, I think today we'll just kind of talk about our experience in the first few days at Carp d'Arg and kind of see where we go from there.
I do actually have some top eight tips, which I just recorded video for YouTube, and I'm going to try and edit that this week. So if you guys are following us on our YouTube channel, I have some video that I'm going to put together and put up on our channel all about Carp d'Arg. But we left off with just about to head to France the last time we spoke to you guys, right? I don't remember. I actually thought we recorded this. So yeah, I seem to be out of the loop. You seem to be out of the loop? Yep. Maybe just out of my mind, one of the two. Yeah, probably that one.
Last we spoke, we were about to head to France on our trip. Daryl was in the USA or heading to the USA and then was coming back and was basically heading straight to France from the States. And so we met in Paris and decided to pack all of our bits and pieces. Apparently I didn't pack enough of the things that we required. There's a big surprise. It tends to be your standard go-to move whenever you're packing. It's like my bag's totally full and it normally is totally full, but it's normally somehow full of nothingness. I don't know how it works, but that's how it seems to work. Yeah.
I'm a significant underpacker, I would say. Yeah. I would totally agree. I'm glad it was a fucking nudist result. That's true. Yeah. I think I packed you like three shorts and three shirts or something like that and then a few other bits and pieces and none of it really matched. No. I also didn't pack you any shoes either. No. I packed you thongs, but. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. And one pair of shoes. Yeah. Yep. Which were boots, in fact. Boots. Yeah. Which are not useful for most things. Yeah. Except maybe going out. Except maybe going out. When you're wearing, like, jeans or something. Or pants.
So we met in Paris, and we'll probably talk about Paris on a different episode just to tack on because we did visit a swingers club in Paris that I want to talk about our experience there. But let's shift on to Cupdog. Do you want to kind of give a rundown of, just quickly, what? what it actually is. I'll do my best. Karp Diarg, or Diarg, as most people call it, or Cap. It's the other one. Yeah, that's true, Cap. Cap is effectively a naturalist village that's certainly during the summer quite large. I think it's like 70,000 people in summer. Is that right? About 40,000, yeah. 40,000, okay.
I mean, still damn high numbers. Yeah, absolutely. But it's actually got its own mare, which is interesting, but it has been...
kind of taken over over the last 15 to 20 years by swingers slowly you know and the key reason behind that I suppose is that the season is quite short it's used to be about two months and it's coming down now six weeks or even shorter but the businesses there have to make enough money to cover their whole year of livelihood in that period of time and naturalists typically are happy to enjoy their camping area and hang out by the beach, enjoy their own food and beverage and just hang out with each other.
Whereas swingers typically turn up and spend a lot of money on random stuff like clothing, which a naturalist is not really ever going to spend any money on because they don't use clothing, especially while they're at a naturalist resort. So it's a very interesting place. It's getting a little dated in some ways in some places. The accommodation again at very hard, I would imagine, to maintain a business and maintain a financially positive scenario when you're only operational for six to eight weeks a year. But they're managing to do it.
And the location is, it's lovely in terms of the beaches. It's a little, as I mentioned, a little dated, a little old in terms of the buildings and in terms of the architecture and things like that. But otherwise, I mean, it's a nice place. There's people who own their own houses there in the village, quite a lot of people, but they typically don't use those during the winter. In fact, it appears that most people disappear to Thailand when it's wintertime, including the owners of all the businesses. So yeah, so that's a bit of an understanding that the history stretches back a long way.
I suppose it started 50 plus years ago when somebody started, uh, just a beach that was, uh, that allows allowed for nudity and it's kind of grew from there. And it's just been an organic sort of growth from, from there. But, It's an interesting place. Yeah. So to kind of, I guess, give it to you in a nutshell and bullet porn. Is this going in the podcast? Just to give you guys a bit of a wrap up. So Cupdog is, as Daryl mentioned, it's a nudist, naturist village. It's in the south of France and yeah, it's a whole village, whole community.
So to get into there, you have to actually go through a specific area. You can't just... Yeah. hotels and basically it is higher prevalence of then lifestyle people and so we had the opportunity at Three Spicey Match to go and experience this and that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about Cupdard, kind of peel the layers back on it. I remember years ago when we were in Sydney, I was researching Cupdard and I found it really difficult to find any kind of information on it. I just couldn't. That hasn't changed. It's really hard, right? Yeah.
Well, it's not like, as people kept saying to me, well, we can't navigate inside here using Google Maps and I'm like, well, I'm fairly sure that the Google mapping car doesn't get to drive through Carpe d'Hare all the time with its, you know, 16 roof mounted cameras checking out everybody around it. Yeah, yeah. And that's a good point. You know, the place, the whole place, it is a village. So you can do everything you want to nude. You can go grocery shopping nude. You go to restaurants nude. This is an actual proper nudist village. And so think about everything that you do in your daily life.
Go grocery shopping, whatever. Go clothes shopping. You do all of that nude. Yeah. All right. So let's start talking about getting down there. We went down on the train, which was actually really, really easy from Paris, actually really quick and easy, nice train. And we got there a day before the event because I kind of wanted to get settled in, right? And we tend to do that for most events anyway, get there a day early and get settled in. Well, that's generally because we have to travel to events, I think, not really because we plan it that way.
It's just that we don't want to miss out on the event. And so we go the day before and tend to leave the day after just so we don't miss any of the event because when we travel for events, we're not, we don't get to go to too many events a year, I would think. All right, let's pick up the pace a little bit. Let's start talking about some of the Cup Dog stuff. So we went there a day early. So we went there pre-event day. It was a Wednesday. And to our surprise, there are a number of pool parties that happen apparently. Wednesday and Friday, and it happens every week.
Every week, Wednesdays and Fridays, there's pool parties. And so when we rolled in on the Wednesday, it was to a pool party, which we had no idea was happening. Apparently, again, This is just information that most people who go to Cup Dog know, but if you don't know, you don't know. Well, they're not really advertised anywhere, especially if you're talking – so the week we were there, the Spicy Match website had – they were advertising the – Schedule, yeah. The schedule for their pool parties. Right, which didn't start until tomorrow. Which didn't start until the day after we arrived.
But, yeah, there's like a pool party there regularly twice a week, and it's happening. It's happening. Yeah, it is. It is. It's a very, a very awesome thing to walk into. Well, I have, I have some notes. I took notes every single day. I took bullet points because I didn't want to forget anything. I didn't want to forget some of the things that we experienced that were just new for us, I guess. And one of my top eight bullet points for navigating Cup Dog was to just expect the unexpected. Right. And so let's talk about washing your pussy in the outdoor shower, Daryl.
Well, I mean, I think we should give it a roll up to that though. Right. We're, So we walked into the pool party and there were two seats available just sitting kind of in the middle of nowhere, but they were in a good position to be perched and looking into what is going on around you. What we didn't realise is that we were sitting in front of the shower that you shower before you go into the pool or you can also use for other things, we figured out. So what else was happening around the pool, Kate?
So I like to say that when we walked into this party – I don't think I've ever seen so much sex in the one place with my own eyes ever before in my life. I cannot think of a club we've been to, an event we've been to. I can think of an event we've been to where there's a lot of naked bodies around, but you tell me a club that we've been to where there's as many people having sex as what we saw around that pool that day. Well, in one room, we've never been. That's definitely the case. Yeah.
But, you know, like if you're talking about perhaps naughty in New Orleans playrooms, there might be all of that going on, but... Yeah, there was a lot of fucking happening around the pool for sure. And a lot of dancing, I might add. Dancing right beside fucking. Yeah. So it's literally just a huge party with a lot of people doing all sorts of things. Everything from just singing along and dancing or quite literally standing in the middle of the hot tub. There's a platform in the middle of the hot tub like standing on that fucking standing up in the middle of the hot tub.
Or having lunch or having a drink or having a chat with somebody else. Absolutely. Yeah. Everything that you can imagine would happen at a swingers party was happening at this pool party during the day. This was at like three or four in the afternoon. And actually, I think I have some footage of the pool. So to give you an indication of what that's going to look like, just all these, there's these beds kind of surrounding the pool up raised, I guess. And yeah, so that, that's what was happening. And as you mentioned, Daryl, we found two chairs and we thought, okay, we're going to kind of...
We're just going to sit and sink into it. Yeah, sit and sink into it. So there was, I mean, there was a lot of porn going on. So that was a... that was good to look around and look at. Would you agree? Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that was a lovely first impression. But one of the things that caught us by surprise sitting in front of the shower was that people would finish fucking and they'd come over and just wash themselves in the shower. Yeah.
And like washing their junk, which was, I think what made it more interesting is that the men would just step under the shower and just like from top to toe wash off. Yeah. But then the ladies would come over And they just simply. Cubic bone in. Yeah, pubic bone in and just sort of flap at their pussies with their hands. With the water, yeah, flapping at their pussy. Yeah, which, look, is not a weird act in itself. Well, here's the thing. We'd been sitting there watching these people just get absolutely railed, right? Yeah.
And I don't know what it is, but when that first happened, it took me by surprise. And I think the second or third time I was still like, what the fuck is happening? I was like, do that shit in your room. Like, don't put that shit out here. Which is hilarious. Oh, it's ridiculous. How taboo is it? Because they were just fucking right in front of us and we're aghast at the fact that they're washing their pussies. And it wasn't so much the men, which is interesting. There was one dude I remember he did the same sort of that water flappy-uppy motion.
Yeah, but I think it was more – what made it more obvious with the ladies is they didn't want to get the hair wet. No, so it's pubic bone first, legs spread. Yeah, and flappity-flap motion. Which was actually not horrible to watch. either. No, but I feel like that's how a lot of women wash their pussies anyway in the shower. And so for me, I'm like, that is such a private motion. Like, what are you doing? That's my hidden way to wash my pussy. Why are you showing that to everybody around here? Don't you know? Nobody would know how to wash that. That's the way to wash your pussy. No.
Splashity splash splash. It was so funny. I was sitting there and I remember turning to you and I was like, fucking what is happening? Did you see that bitch just wash her pussy in the water like right in front of us? And Daryl's like, yeah, it was a half a meter in front of us. I couldn't believe it. Couldn't help but watch it. Some of the water landed on me. Here's what I will say. Even though I was totally aghast and I was like, and I remember saying, how is this taboo for me when I've just been watching everything else go?
And as I was saying that, there was somebody getting a blowjob maybe 30 centimetres away from me to my left and people fucking in the hot tub and people fucking to the right and people standing up fucking over there and people doing other things over there and there was a flower daisy chain thing happening over here. All of that's going on and I'm like, what? What? Interesting. Why is this taboo to me? And then what I will say, though, is kudos for hygiene, people. Yeah, absolutely. Good on you. Good on you. Yeah. It's just a decent thing to do. Yeah.
And plus, you know, I don't know how the ladies don't walk under the shower and shower off properly because it'd be fucking hot out there. Oh, yeah. It was hot. Especially if you're fucking in the sun and, like, you're just sweating balls. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. So I've got to remind you guys. This is pre-party. This is pre... This is not even... This is not even day one. This is not even day one yet, guys. This is what's going on. So anyway, so this is all happening. The party closes down. We decide to go for a walk. Which we found fucking weird. Hang on.
The party shut down at like five o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah. Right? Maybe six. Maybe six. Something like that. The sun's still up and everybody just started wandering off. Like they're just, oh, we're done fucking now and dancing. Let's go. Yeah. And we were like, what the fuck is going on here? Anyway, I... The next day when the actual event started, we went to the bar afterward to get another drink. They're like, sorry, no drinks left. No drinks anymore. Bar's closed. They close the bar at 5 or 6 p.m.
Closing the bar is, I would say, the equivalent to switching the light on and off at a club at a night time when it's like closing time. No, it's much more obvious when you close the bar because nobody wants to fucking stick around when there's nothing left to drink. Nobody wants to stick around. Funnily enough, as we're pulling up too and we're getting in our room, we're walking and we spot some familiar faces and a dude walks over to us and he is like, hold on a second, I know you guys. And it turns out we met him at the castle party here in Croatia, but he's from Romania. Yeah.
But what the hell? Yeah. Now, this is going to be a common theme that happens throughout the entire event of meeting people, but I just couldn't get my head around the fact that we were stationed next to people who we'd met a couple of months beforehand in Croatia, but they don't live here, they live in Romania. Their apartment was beside ours, yes. Yeah, their apartment was beside ours. Crazy. Crazy. Yep, but they weren't staying for the event. No, they were not. They left that night.
So we went for a bit of a walk around and I also want to mention that there's a massive line to get in that pool party. Spicy Match told us that because when you stay on site at these locations and we were at the Le Jardin de Babylon, when you stay on site, you already have the wristband and you've already got your keys. So you don't need to line up for any of the parties that might happen at that facility, such as the pool parties. And so Spicy Match said to us, hey, when you come back through, don't wait in the line. If you guys are staying on property, you just go around.
And I went out to procure some drinks and some food and stuff and come back. And when I came back, I'm going to say 200 people were waiting in that line easily. Yeah, I'd reckon there were probably 500 or 600 people around that pool. Throughout the whole pool party time. Yeah. And let's apply some perspective here. The pool area, you know, the whole area would be maybe, let's say, 40 yards wide by 60, 70 yards long, roughly. Mm. And they spill out into the outside bit. And the pool takes up a very large chunk of that in the middle. It does, yeah.
So there's not a lot of space in here and there's a lot of people that are very close. One of the interesting things, though, or one of the very noticeable things is you cannot get on site without a COVID pass. Oh, okay, yeah. Let's actually talk about that because it's not even a COVID pass. It's not even, sorry, a vaccination certificate. You have to have a- It is a French QR. Well, it doesn't have to be French. It just has to be a European COVID pass. Yeah. So you have to be vaccinated to get on site or have had COVID in the last six months, which allows you also to get the COVID, the pass.
But you can't get on without that. Yeah, without the pass. You're just not allowed on. And so we've been, we were vaccinated in the US and so our vaccination certificates are from the CDC and they're on the little white card. Which didn't work. We had to go and convert them to the local French COVID pass, which is good because now we can use it everywhere. Yeah, now we can use it everywhere.
But the first time we got into the village, we sat down to have some dinner and the wait staff come over because although they've checked it before you get into village and then they check it again at the hotel every restaurant you go to they check as well that's actually a requirement of France generally is that everywhere you sit down yeah in a group situation you have to they have to check you right and if you don't have it you're not allowed to sit you're not allowed to sit down but the funny thing was is that we pull out we're like oh yeah no dramas pull out our CDC vaccination cards and the wait staff is like what the fuck is this because he's French you know and they only see the European ones and we're like oh look here it is.
Here's where you can see like the first shot and Pfizer and second shot and Pfizer and like that was there and this is me and here we go. We had our passports with us and our vaccination cards and he was like, I'm pretty angry about the fact that we didn't have this EU code but the reason I'm telling you this is because I want to give and they'll never hear this but I'm just doing it for myself. Kudos to the pharmacy just outside the village doors.
There's a pharmacy out there and if you take your passport and your vaccination card to the pharmacy and give them three or four hours, leave it with them, they'll actually tell you translate your vaccination certificate into a European QR code. So then after that, we were able to go back, collect it, and then we have the QR code on our phone now to be able to use it everywhere. And it was getting checked. So yeah. So thanks, guys. Yeah. Yeah, it was getting checked all over the place. Yeah. So it was good.
I mean, you realize inside the village, you're actually, you're still not safe, of course, versus COVID. But at least you have some semblance of safety, a lot more semblance. of safety, which is interesting. So yeah, so we go out, we're walking around, we go get some food and you get naked in the street walking back for the first time, properly naked. Because I think you're walking around and you had like something on a sarong on or something. No, I had something. I was actually wearing shorts because I figured out the sarong is not wearable. Right.
Because the wind blows it and then it rubs on my dick and then I get a hard on. How was that for you? Like for the first time walking around the street? Well, you describe it because you're the one who verbalized what we both felt as we took everything off and started walking. I don't remember. You don't remember? No. Well, you actually said, oh, it's kind of freeing, isn't it? Just taking all your clothes off and walking along the street. I think I actually might have that as a note later on. Maybe. Yeah, I think so. And it totally is. I mean, it's freeing. Yeah. It was quite good.
It is nice. I like the fact that you could do that. And obviously when you do go and sit down at restaurants and stuff like that, you take a sarong, you take a towel to put it down on the chair. You have to. You have to. In fact. To wrap up the pre-event day, we went back We were sitting on our patio for a little while, a little pergola area, which just looks out onto everybody else. And we were playing a game, drinking some wine. And I masturbated in public. And that's the first time I've ever done that. You did? Yeah, I was about to say, you're looking at me like you have no idea.
Yeah, we filmed it too. Oh, okay. Yeah. There you go. And then I fucked you on the patio also. You remember that one? No, don't remember that either. The fucking I remember, but I didn't think that that was on the first day. I thought that was on the second day. No, it was the first day I've got here, masturbated and fucked on patio. Okay. Actually in my notes. Okay. There you go. What did you masturbate with? The vibrator. Okay. So you just wandered inside, grabbed a vibrator, came out and masturbated? No, you wandered inside. You grabbed my vibrator. You came out. Okay. Masturbated. Okay.
Sweet. Yeah. This is why we take notes. This is why we take notes. See, I told you. I told you. This is a good thing, right? Yeah. Absolutely. So yeah. So that was basically the pre-party day. So kind of getting settled into the hotel room, you know, getting some wine and stuff from the local grocery store and just kind of sussing out how we felt about the area, what it felt like being... At a nudist, naturist village and getting ready for the party. Yeah. Let's take a quick break and let's come on back and we'll talk about some of the bits and pieces that we experienced while we're there.
All right. So let's actually talk about day one. Day one. So we spoke about getting the QR. Fuck, I don't remember day zero. So day one's going to be hard. We had breakfast. We went and changed our vaccinations over to the French QR code. We walked around town. We went to the door cell store. Yeah, which is outside of the village actually. Just right out the front. Yeah. So as in Mark Dorsell, who's the- Porn star. The- Porn producer. Porn producer and who also makes a lot of sex toys and stuff like that. We went into the store. Pretty sure he buys them from China.
Pretty sure he buys them from China. Repackages it in Mark Dorsell. But we went in there, we did some filming, so I'm going to try and add that to the YouTube clips. But that was pretty cool. I liked that. I got a shirt. Yeah, you did. You didn't buy any sex toys though. Why? Well, I mean, you went to a sex toy store. Yeah. And you bought a fucking shirt. I bought a t-shirt. I bought two quarter cup bras. Yeah, I went to a sex toy show and I bought a t-shirt and this is the t-shirt to prove it. Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool. You bought, you did buy two quarter cup bras. Two quarter cup bras, yeah.
And then we just kind of laid by the pool, relaxed, because this is check-in day, so most of the time when it's check-in day, there's not a lot doing for the morning. How much of the time would you say you spent naked? Depends on what you mean by completely naked. Well, I mean completely naked. Not just even wearing a little see-through sarong. No, wearing a see-through sarong. Then yeah, that would have been like 30, 40%. Yeah, okay, that you were completely.
naked wearing the little see-throughs are all 30 to 40 percent yeah okay yeah so we just basically relaxed during the day and then as things are getting kicking off the actual first night party starts so this is the extravaganza party this is the official welcome to spicy match takeover week party and as i said they took over two hotels and so it was just a good time to kind of come out and and start drinking by the pool and this was around the the pool party now this is where it gets a little bit freaky we already met the couple from romania that we've met in croatia now we were in the pool and And we met a listener of the podcast, which just drove, which was crazy.
But then whilst we were standing there talking to some people, I went up and introduced myself to a bunch of people that were standing around talking. And the particular gentleman turned around with his Texas accent and said, I know exactly who you are. We met a few years ago. You want to take that away? Yeah. So most random thing ever, we met, well, we went to an event in Thailand. And while we were at the event, we were looking online for something to to do after the event, I think it was, around just before we got on the plane, basically.
Yeah, just before we got on the plane to go to Naughty in New Orleans. I think we actually did a podcast episode about the – Yeah, we did. Yeah. We did. It's a long time ago. But we were looking through the site of some description. Anyway, as we were looking through that site, it was interesting. There was a group that had taken over a – not a hotel. Like a 12-bedroom villa. Yeah, a villa that had a pool on it. And they said, hey, look, if – If you guys, if anyone's interested, come along. We're happy to, happy to host you. We have drinks, we have food and we have a pool.
Come and hang out with us. So we were looking for something to do before we got on the plane to go to the US and we thought, well, fuck it, let's go. So we went to this thing, right? Four years ago. And the dude. Met a bunch of Texans. Met a bunch of Texans. And the dude who organized that event, him and his, him and his friends were, that were at the event, were actually now at CUP. And that's who we met. Yeah. Okay.
Just, crazy nuts like you're in France we met them in Thailand they live in Texas and here they are like it just it just so so crazy and when people say the lifestyle is a small place there's still millions of people in the lifestyle but this is just insane that blew my mind the crew from Texas if you're out there listening like g'day guys so that was really really funny so I met a listener met this couple from Texas we then met a couple that we know mutual friends of from Canada so shout out to you guys as well and then then the night party kind happened and there was a lot of fire performers.
There was like a stripper that was dancing there. The fire performer was amazing though. Did you watch her? Yeah, I did. She was really, really cool. Really cool. Actually, she was just very, very cool just to look at without the fire. Yeah. She had quite a lot of tattoos and cool haircut and stuff. She was just a very, very attractive woman and edgy and attractive. Yeah, so that was the extravaganza. That was night one, which again was – Which was a lot of fun. Which was a lot of fun and also very different, I think, to what we've ever experienced before.
Like in terms of when you think back to places we've been to like Desire. Well, we kind of forgot that the fucking around the pool happened again. Like this is now. Yeah. Like what we saw on the first night or the first afternoon then happened that evening as well. Like again, again. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's pretty much a common theme, isn't it? It happens basically every time there's a party at that pool, there's a lot of fucking around the pool. Yeah. Which is – Cool. But I mean, I just don't have the skin for it. You don't have the skin for it? Well, no, fuck no.
I mean, if I'm, if I'm fucking out in the sun for that long, I'm going to like look like a little lobster boy by the end of it. I will say we were some of the few people. We were the widest people there. That were walking around completely covered in sunscreen as well. Our morning ritual was to get out of bed, to shower, to walk out onto our patio, arms up while the other person completely sprays from head to toe. In Daryl's case, the tippity top of the mountain top head all the way down to the bottom of the feet. Kate never put enough spray on my balls or on my cock.
I'm always worried about cock burn. Yeah. Like nobody wants cock burn. I was worried about getting an infection from too much sunscreen around the puss area. Yeah. Well, how did that work out? Hey, that's foreshadowing. I think that might be foreboding actually. Yeah. No. So it was, it was really funny because there wasn't a lot of sunscreen application. And I think that that would have been really funny for us if we were out fucking by the pool and somebody else came along and they were like, Ooh, I really want to like kiss your tits or something. I'd be like, well, Prepare, eat sunscreen.
Brace yourself for some creamy, creamy sunness. Brace yourself for sunscreen and sweat because that's what I'm running. The temperature was great though. It was really hot. I liked it. Oh, yeah, I didn't. I really did. I reckon it would be much better now. Yeah. When it's a bit cooler. But the season's done now. The season's done. So no concern. No. So the second – so the next – let's quickly talk about the next day. So the second day I went and did a tour of cup and tour of the village. Yeah. You stayed in bed. I did. I did stay in bed. I do – enjoy having a holiday when I'm on holidays.
Yeah. You know, and don't get me wrong, the tour would have been something that I would have liked to have done. It was just too fucking early for me. What was it, like 9am or something like that? Or 8am? I don't remember how. But I would have liked to have done it. And I think it's a really cool thing. It's a good idea. Yeah. I was actually going to say that. So it was hot as hell. It was hot as balls. But what I will say is that there is surprisingly a lot to see.
And in fact, when I first got there and I went out that first pre-event day to find some food and stuff, I thought that was the only area that had food. And it just is not. There would be 50 other restaurants. Each decent size, not hotel, but what do you call them? Like housing areas. Each one of those has its own area of food, shopping, that sort of thing. Yeah. And clubs and stuff like that. Although there is only one major supermarket in the whole area. Yeah. It's convenience stores and stuff.
But So I actually did the village tour where we walked around and said, okay, here is this area, here is this area, this is the beach area, this is where the day club is, up here is where... You never got to see the area where you walk along and there's like people just having parties and they invite you into their places. No, we didn't get to see that.
But I would recommend it because, again, unlike a desire or a naughty New Orleans or a hedonism where you just kind of know where everything is and it's in a little area and it's easy to spot and there's only those Like this is little places with little alleys and nooks and crannies and places that you can go and discover that you wouldn't know. So if you get a chance to do a village tour, if you go, highly, highly recommend it because it does set the scene then for the rest of the time that you're there. The next day was another pool party.
So basically we got there on the Wednesday during the famous Wednesday pool party. On the Thursday night was the Spicy Magic Extravaganza pool party. And then on Friday is your standard daytime pool party. And again, the line would have been into the hundreds and at least a two hour wait. Yeah, the lining up was crazy, wasn't it? Yeah, it's insane. I want to mention a really funny conversation I had with a gentleman in the pool. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he was an American. Actually, that was the couple that were listeners of ours. We spoke about shaving assholes. Do you remember that conversation?
No, not at all. So her and I were having a conversation. Was I there? Yeah, you were there. Her and I were having a conversation about how goddamn hungry we were because we missed the food, the food opportunity. Yeah, I remember that continued in your vein for the remainder of the evening. In fact, I got sent out for food numerous times at ridiculous hours of the fucking night to find food. That's true. Well, that's not true. I never got sent out. What I got was you saying, God, I'm hungry. If only I had something to eat. I'm so hungry.
And the only way I could shut you up was to go and get food. And death, murder or. Murder or food. Or procure the food. Yeah. But I don't know how we got onto the fact of shaving assholes, but he's all about it. And I remember he was like, well, if I'm expecting somebody else to be like clean and tidy, how how can she not expect the same from me? And he was like, oh, I haven't shaved my arsehole for years. I love it. And I was like, dude, mad props. I wrote that down as a note because I was like, this is my kind of guy. That's a weird note. Really? Yeah, I think so. I was all about it.
We had a whole conversation about how, like, shave your arsehole, it's good to go. Okay. Yeah, okay. I mean, you realize that your husband's also been doing that for years. We definitely know some people who shave their arseholes. Reach out if you shave your arsehole, guys. I know there's a list of you out there for sure. So now I'm going to talk about the end of night two, and I think probably then we can get ready to roll out and talk about some other things. We had a nap nap.
We had a nap nap because that evening, the night of day two, we were going to go to a club, and I was up early because of the tour and everything else. Ah, the club. We were like, all right, nap nap time. Now, the reason we had a nap nap too, children, is because at club times, it doesn't open until 11 p.m. at night. This is not 9pm, 10pm clubbing. 11pm at night? 11pm in the evening, at night time, nocturne, I don't know what else there is. 11. It opens at 11. Yeah. 11! That's normally three hours past your bedtime. No, I'm like, what the fuck? It's three hours past your bedtime.
It's such an inconvenient time too. What? Why is it inconvenient? Because like 10 would be cool. I find 11 is just like so, it just, I don't know. It fucks with me. 11. I don't know either. So if it was midnight. Would that be okay? Well, that's what the clubs open in Ibiza. They're open at midnight. That I understand. Makes sense. Midnight. Boom. Club opens. Nine o'clock, 10 o'clock club opens. Makes sense to me. 11 o'clock? What the fuck are you doing with your life? Huh? What are you doing? Dude, you are in this deep, aren't you? Anyway, so we had a nap. We get ready.
We roll up at the La Glamour club and it's a white night and I'm wearing my little like festival outfit, my white festival outfit that I really like and I've got like my kicks on that are high-heeled kicks and I'm like, this is cool. My hair's done. I'm like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Rock out with my cock out. I'm liking what I'm wearing. I like it. I'm dancing. I'm dancing. And then Daryl gets stricken by Kate's slack packing process. Because as was mentioned, I was in the US the week before on business. So I didn't get to pack all my shit for a cup. Negative. Negative ghostwriter. Yep.
So the white knight, what did I have to wear? Let me help you out. I didn't have anything to wear. No, you had something white on. Yeah, I did. No, shorts. Yeah, I had white shorts. Yeah, white shorts. And a white T-shirt. And a white T-shirt. Yeah, I remember. White shorts and a white T-shirt. Yeah, and remember when I got there? Remember what happened? Yeah. Yeah, they said, sorry, you can't come in with shorts on. Yeah, no shorts. Yeah. So then we had to walk all the way back. To our accommodation. To our accommodation, which was mildly frustrating. A little bit. To say the least.
So here's where it gets pretty funny. In a nudist, naturist village, there are a number of clubs on site. Although most people are walking around nude, there are certain things and certain locations where there is a strict and I mean fucking strict, dress requirement. This happened to be one of them. If men are not in long pants with nice shoes and a button-up shirt, they don't get in. Full fucking stop. And? So then, so then we roll back, you get changed. Thank God you had jeans and nice shoes and you had, actually, no, you didn't have jeans because you're not allowed to wear jeans.
You had to wear- I had to put on my fucking business pants. You had to put on your- My business pants. No, that's business socks. So, I know, I had to put on my business pants. So I'm now wandering into a- like a swingers club in my business pants, which I have to say was fucking weird. Yeah, it was weird. And I had nothing white on. I walked in there without anything white on. But hang on, as we get back to the door, what happens? Right, so you get changed, we walk back. Yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. As we get back to the door, what happens?
We go to scan in with our QR codes and the bouncer looks at me, talks in French to the other bouncer, calls over a third bouncer, talks in French, They all look at me and they were like, you, shoes, nah. You can't get in. Women must be wearing high heels. So I had my high heel kicks on to try and get in. And I was like, dude, look, high heel kicks, man. It's my festival outfit. I'm looking fucking suave. What? Suave? What's up with my outfit? And he was like, nah. And at that point, I was fucking ready to call it. We were fucking out. I was actually ready to call it. We were calling it.
We were walking away as he stopped us and said, actually, there may be some shoes we can loan you. We may have a solution for you. young lady put on somebody else's shoes. Yeah. Put it, put on some skank shoes that have been in the club for the last 10 years that you don't know what sort of festy foot sores and ulcers. First of all, they were like, what size are you? And I was like 36, 39. Thankfully, thankfully they also have like, you know, huge feet for women shoes as well, because frankly, a lot of the people, actually most of the women in Croatia, I think have feet the same size as you.
Yeah. Or bigger. Yeah. Yeah, or as if this was Asia. If you're in Asia, you'd be fucked. So yeah, so they're like, we might have a solution. Hey, go in and exchange your shoes. So that's exactly what I did. We really wanted to experience this place and that was my bad. I just had no idea. I had to be in heels. I don't know. And so do you, dear listener. By the way, if you want to know this by going on their website and exploring and understanding what the dress code is, there's nothing there. Enjoy. I think a lot of these places just say the dress to impress.
And actually, some of the times on the forums when people talk about coming to clubs in Europe. Now, actually, I answered a question for somebody going to a club in Austria the other day. They were like, we don't know what to wear. And I was like, women, dress, high heels, men, nice outfits. Yeah. So this is another thing. So this particular club also, if you turn up in pants- Maxi dress. In pants or maxi dress as a woman, you're also not allowed in. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be wearing something clubby is the best way to put it. Yeah. Pants are not allowed. Pants on women, not allowed.
You can wear socks though. You could wear high heels and socks. Because that's what I was doing. Yeah. We get in there and we go up and we get our drinks and everything else and catch up with the Spicy Match team. And I've got to say, I think the club itself was an interesting layout. Upstairs was all dancey dance and there's a lot of strippers poles and stuff like that. Yeah. And then downstairs was like this alcove where all the playrooms. The party doesn't start until three. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. We didn't make it to the party. We didn't make it to the party. We were like, Cool.
When we left, there was a lot of people. Yeah. Downstairs was interesting. I wouldn't say it's a good layout for, like it's playrooms down there ultimately. Yeah. But it's all very rabbit warren like. It is very rabbit warren. It's not open and it's also very dark and tunnel-y. So you can't, sometimes you can't even tell where you're walking for one. But the second part of that is sometimes you. It's not even an open basement. It feels like it's been dug. You know, like it actually feels like somebody went tunneling under the building and just like.
tunneled out an area, a little like mole rat area at the end of each one. Yeah. Yeah. Found the gold and then left. No, so you can't tell if there's people in the rooms until you are. In the room. Not only in the room, in the room and up against the fucking bed. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, okay, there's people fucking. I can only tell that because of the sweat that's wicking off them and touching me. Yeah. But yeah, so we went there. We decided to kick it. We were like, that's it. Well, the air conditioning wasn't working very well either. It was fucking hot in there, in my long pants.
But a lot of people, when we were leaving, how many people do you reckon were there when we got there at midnight in the actual upstairs area? And what would you say when we left? There would have been maybe 50 at best when we first arrived and I would say 300 when we left. Yeah. Three or four. Yeah. And apparently the party hadn't even started yet. Hadn't even started because we actually met some friends the next day and they were like, hey, we were there till like 6am, like, how are you guys, what's going on? Yeah. We were like, we were not. Yeah, we were not. Even with the nap nap cake.
could not push through. No, even with the nap nap. I think it was also not the right environment for us as well in terms of, I mean, it's that particular club is not a club you get to know anyone. It's just find somebody you think is, that fits your requirement, grab them, take them downstairs, fuck them, come back up, find another one if you want to go again. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. Which is, you know, hey, each to their own. There's certainly a lot of that going on in car in general, I would say. Yeah, absolutely.
So I reckon we're going to split this into two and we'll talk about our final few days at CupDog. We stayed there for a total of five nights and with the Spicy Match event and then obviously one night extra. But I wrote down my top eight tips for CupDog, which I share on the YouTube video, but I'm going to give you guys four. I'm going to give you guys four this episode and four the next time we talk about CupDog. Daryl, tell me what you think. Add on. Tell me what you agree with. What's up? So there's, as I mentioned before, there's 6,000 accommodations on site where people come from outside.
There's 4,000. $40,000 a day. Would you agree with that figure? I would say yes. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that's reasonably accurate. There are people everywhere and what also is interesting is that in the village where the buildings are is not where the predominant grouping of people are who are actually naturalists. They're in another, they're in a camping area that's next door that we didn't even really go into but there's a fuck ton of tents there, I can say that. So, you know, there's a lot of people in there as well.
And with the accommodation on site, too, there's so many different types. There are like longer term holiday homes. As Daryl mentioned, there's people who live there. There's Airbnb there. There's super way shit tips. There's a few hotels. And then there's two hotels in particular that are lifestyle friendly. And that's where people congregate. And that's the two hotels that spicy match take over. So there's a lot of different kinds of accommodation. And you could stay there at a different location, but then you've got to wait those two and three hours to get into some of the parties.
Even actually at La Glamour, we got in VIP quickly. I would say it's actually worthwhile going. Going to the Spicy Match event is worthwhile because there's a lot of people there and staying at the hotel is really worthwhile. Like, fuck those lines. We would never have gone to one of those pool parties if we were outside of the hotel. Or we would have gotten there like if it started at noon, we would probably have been there at like 11. Bullshit. We would have gotten there at fucking 8am. I would have gotten there. Yeah, you would have. And you would have strolled over. Yeah.
If you're going, go with a, try and go with a like-minded group. Whether that be spicy match or a group of 10 friends or something, but, and stay in the fucking hotel where the parties are going to happen for sure. Because fuck those lines. Yeah. Like I would, I would never have made it to one of those parties. No, you wouldn't have. No, I would have spat it. That was my first tip. My second tip is sarongs and towels required to dine. But my question to you, Daryl, is how, what was that like when you first got there?
Like a sarong and a towel and then how handy or how normal did it become by the end of the time? I didn't really find it that weird. I suppose one of the things that you were surprised at before we got to the event actually is that I said to you, do we need to bring towels? And you were like, what? Why would we need towels? There'll be towels at the place because – Dude, I underpacked your bag for having actual clothes. What makes you think I'm going to bring towels? Like what? No. But I'm not talking about the packing.
I'm talking like the week before I said to you, do we need to bring towels? And you're like, why would we need towels? We're at a hotel. I'm like, because you have to take a towel with you everywhere because – at naturalist locations, you have to sit on a towel. And you're like, why do you have to sit on a towel? I'm like, so you don't leave vag and asshole marks on everything that you sit on. Right. And because that's what. I don't do that. Doves fly out of, out of my nether regions. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. I stuff, I stuff them up there.
That'd explain, that'd explain why she's always so fucking tender and full of UTI goodness. Yeah. So that was a bit of a surprise to you. So for me, it was normal from, the moment we got there, I mean, we didn't have a fucking towel because as Kate mentioned, she didn't pack one. So we had to buy a towel, man. You're going to the fucking beach. You're literally going to a beach. No, you don't pack a towel. Nobody packs a towel for a beach. That's fucking lunacy. It is. It's crazy. It's a crazy door. It's like those people that pack neck pillows. Da fuck. Yeah. Anyways. So we had no towels.
So we had the sarongs that were provided in the, in the welcome bag that we use. So the sarongs were fine. The only issue I had with the sarongs is that were very light. And because of that, they'd blow in the wind and rub against my dick and then I'd get a hard on and then it kind of defeats the purpose of wearing the towel. Okay, my next tip, tip number three, is you must dress up at certain places, although some require you to also be nude. Yep, there is another club that's on the other end of that spectrum where you have to be nude to enter.
If you're not willing to be nude, you are not allowed in. So that is Legolama Beach and that's where the Cupdog, the famous foam party happens. Yeah, which wasn't running. while we're there because hashtag COVID. What's interesting about that though, I think, is that they charge you to store your clothing. Well, I guess if you know, you're not going to rock up there with clothing or anything, are you? You're not going to rock up with any bags. Yeah, but you're not allowed to take anything in. Phones? You're allowed to take in.
There's a little, so again, this is something that the Spicy Match actually came in the Spicy Match bag and it's a little waterproof container. Well surmised there. Thank you, babe. It's a little waterproof container that has a neck string and it hangs around your neck basically. You can put your cards in there, your room keys, some cash and all the rest of it. Obviously you can't take your phone in. I mean, it's a nude party place. Why, obviously. You can have your phone everywhere else in the whole location, but you can't have it there. Yeah, true, true.
So, yeah, I mean, I don't think that's obvious at all. Yeah. Well, most places do say like, don't take your phone out. There's a little sign. Also, as a VIP in that area, you can take whatever you want in. Yeah, again, with the spicy match wristbands, you can actually take a little bag up the back bit.
If you're just going there you have to be nude you have to be nude so you've got to strip down you can get a little is that how you get nude yep you strip down sometimes you strip up if you're wearing it if you're wearing a dress you strip up yeah gotcha and then you put your bag behind you got to pay the three euro for them to hold it and then you kind of you're in you're in the party but it's interesting important to note that even though it is nude village and even though we just said that there's some clubs that require you to full-on dress up there's some places require you to full-on dress down so just check your dress codes people yeah oh and by the way if you want to check the dress codes, the way to do that is to go to the, no, don't go to the internet because it won't tell you.
You've just got to know. You've got to know. Well, just turn up, just turn up and fully dressed, dressed to the highest standard you can possibly work at. Yeah. And if you get there and you have to take it all off and throw it in a bag, then that's how life works. So then at that point you can either strip down or strip up. Yeah. Yeah. My final fourth one for this episode before we close it out is that you can do everything nude. Oh, well, that's groundbreaking. That's groundbreaking, right? Yeah. You can be on the beach nude. On a beach nude. You can have coffee nude. Coffee?
You can skip along the water side nude. Don't spill your coffee on your dick. You can. Or your junk. Hey, you know what's really interesting, speaking of coffee? What's that? How much worse is French coffee than Croatian coffee? I was so surprised, dude. We used to rave about coffee in Europe, and we're starting to realize now that there's parts of Europe that the coffee is better than others. Yeah. Also, but just FYI, hashtag American coffee sucks. Yeah. We said it, we don't regret it. Let's step away from the coffee. Nobody's listening to hear about coffee. Yeah, so it is absolute.
You can do anything you want anywhere. Anything nude. I've crossed pretty much everything off my nude bucket list. I do have to say, though, because when I went out and I was buying, I think, you lunch. We didn't fuck in the street, though. That's something we didn't do. Well, you technically can't fuck in the street, and I... That's one of my tips for the next episode. Sorry. Pretty sure you could fuck pretty much anywhere. No, you're not supposed to. Fuck anywhere. I know what you're not supposed to be doing. I'm saying what you could do versus what you're supposed to do. Okay, fine.
I'm going to give five on this episode. There is a time and a place for sex. There is a time and a place for sex. That doesn't mean people acknowledge and adhere to that either. So basically there is certain areas that are dedicated you being able to have sex. In the hotels where the events are held at, the takeover hotels, you can have absolutely have sex anywhere on premise that you want, as we mentioned before, by the pool parties and everything else. There is also the clubs at the nightclub we went to.
And even at the phone party, the dayclub we went to also, you can have sex in public there, no dramas. There's also a certain section of the beach that we'll talk about in a, in next episode that you can have sex on as well. So phone party is interesting. I mean, we're going to talk about that next time. I think there's some, the actual phone party that we couldn't go to is interesting. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to talk about that next time. Okay. Let's not talk about that now. So this has been the cup dog.
That's a, if you're wondering what that looks like, that's Kate with her little hook just pulling me off, you know, the side of the stage. So we just wanted to kind of give you guys a little bit of insight. There's a lot to tell. And the reason why we're going into so much detail is again, because Cup Dog has been a bit of a mystery up until this point. And we really wanted to cover it to make sure that we're giving you guys some insight into this. FYI, still a mystery. Still a mystery. Into this place where not a lot of people have the opportunity to go. It is here in Europe.
So it's further away if you're living in the States, but even in Australia. You know, it's a further away. It's a big commitment. It's not further away in Australia. It's closer than the US. True. Yeah, we're really happy you guys find it interesting and we look forward to bringing you what happened to the final few days on our next episode. Absolutely. I'm looking forward to chatting about it as well. And just so you know, there was a comment just before now that I made that Kate cut out. I know that happened. I haven't even edited it yet. Oh, you don't need to.
I know you're going to cut it out. Oh, yeah? How's that? Because you restated something. And when you restate something, that means you're going to cut it out. What did I do? Exactly. All right, guys. I'll see you next time. Bye.
