Cap d’Agde A UK Swingers Experience

Transcript

Speaker1: You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people and of course our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the Wanderlust Swingers podcast with Aussie hosts Kate and Daryl. the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy. Now let's get into the episode. Welcome back to the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. Today we are talking about Cupdag. I am joined by Ben and Kate, a UK couple who recently were with me in the south of France and are ready to share their first-hand experience, the good, the sexy and the Unexpected. We're going to talk about what Cup was like, what actually happened there, if it was what Ben and Kate thought it was going to be, if they had any boundaries or connection issues as a couple and a cheeky story or two. But first, who are Ben and Kate? If you guys want to give us a little bit of an indication of who you are, how long you've been in the lifestyle for, your dynamic. We've been in the lifestyle for about two and a half years, I guess. Maybe three. Maybe three. And yeah, we generally, our dynamic is playing with couples, only. Starting to look into a bit more with threesomes, I guess, with either or. But generally, it's always just being connected with couples, more sims, and going to clubs, maybe, isn't it? Yeah. And do you prefer the more sim dynamic? Obviously, I've met you guys a couple of years ago, so I know a little bit about your play sessions. Again, I won't kiss and tell on your behalf, but do you have a preference for more sims over perhaps those two-on-two or three-person meets? No, I don't think so. I mean, I think the couple spots are They're really intensely fun. Yeah. But then when you move into a moresome, I just think the dynamic changes, they can be a bit tricky sometimes because you can get stuck with somebody and you kind of want to go and explore around room with everybody else. But I think they just add a different dynamic of hands and body parts and lots of things to play with, which is obviously a really exciting part of it. I think we started off with just, you know, we'd go play just the two of us, then met some nice couples. And then I think it was spicy last year, which we had our kind of first major orgy multi-play. Yeah, I guess so. I think we'd, we started off going to De Niro Alternative, which is all open play. I know some clubs are sort of behind closed doors to start, but that's what we sort of started our swing of life in. And are we voyeurs? Probably. I mean, I'm always... We don't know that we're voyeurs. is. I think it's nice to watch. It's nice to see what else is going on. I think you're not quite an exhibitionist. You're a naturist. Just like to be naked. Any opportunity? Yeah. I think that's pretty much dynamic. So I can play and obviously we have met some amazing couples that we have become lifelong friends with. And that sort of building that connection has been really good as well. That's all of us. Ben, you just mentioned that you like to be naked. How did you guys feel? going into this, just knowing that it is called The Naked City. Were you quite comfortable with it? Were you a little bit freaking out beforehand? I think one of us felt incredibly excited about the idea of being naked. And then Ben was really excited about it as he's desperate to take his clothes off at any time. I was really apprehensive about it. I think there's a stigma or feeling being female that it's that body confidence. What are you going to look like? Who else is going to be there? Are they going to be amazingly beautiful European bodies that are toned and kind of just delicious to look at. As soon as I got there okay I've had a little cover-up but it didn't take long for that cover-up to suddenly not exist when around the pool or in a place where everybody was completely naked. I had a little bit of uncomfortableness going around the supermarkets and you know sitting and having a coffee. But I think when you first turn up and you sort of go to the supermarket and the majority of people just walk around naked. It's quite a bizarre concept. Yeah. But very quickly it becomes very normalized and it just seems quite normal that people walk around naked. I was more than happy to walk around naked after the pair of slivers. But yeah, I think sitting in a restaurant and stuff, obviously you have to sit with something up against your bum, which is fine, but it just suddenly became very normal and very liberating. Yeah, it is one of those funny things where it is so psychologically interesting how quickly it does become like, oh, I think going into our first clothing optional place I was like oh my god how am I going to do this and it took me I would think it was like top off a couple of days in it was like bottoms off and I find it so intriguing that now when you go to something like this and you're just swamped there's thousands of people around you naked and then day three you can be having a very serious conversation or a funny conversation and there's you know hundreds of naked people and you just think nothing of it it's so interesting to me you almost switch off to the that these people are walking around with their junk in your face. So I don't know. I mean, I think it was like four things. I was standing at the balcony and all the boundaries are connected. And I was wearing a pair of pants and someone came up and spoke to me. And I actually felt more, it felt to be weird chatting to someone in my pants than it is to be chatting to someone naked. I don't know the psychology behind that. It just seemed a bit strange, but it suddenly just becomes completely normal. I think it also takes away all social barriers as well. Yeah. Because when people, I mean clothes you look at the clothes and you can be judged by that and suddenly when you've got nothing on you're not judged by that and actually people don't stop and stare and look at you and interrogate your body because everybody is totally exposed in that same situation person is more important than what you look like and what you're wearing putting clothes on was more stressful about what am I going to wear is this going to match what shoes am I going to wear versus is having nothing on and going, I actually don't care, because we are now all the same. Yeah, exactly. It's hugely liberating. Oh, nice. I love it. Breaking clothes is a real social leveler, isn't it? You've got no idea of people's backgrounds or whatever. I think that's part of the attraction to Kat, I think. We noticed that as well. Our first time that we went to something like this was that in everyday life, you're right, Kate, it's human nature. We immediately size each other up. It happens in seconds, and it happens without any thought, because if you go back, it was a requirement. the threat, assess what people are doing. And that sort of stuff goes completely out the window. People aren't then looking at your watch, looking at your handbag, looking at your shoes, seeing if there's any social cues on the brands or your status in society because everybody's naked. Like that, that's it. I think the only difference is then if you're either wearing accessories and you look like, okay, this person knows what they're doing. They've clearly been to carp 20 years in a row because they got all the stuff. Or if they're heavily tattooed or heavily pierced or something like that. But outside of that, it's like, you wouldn't know if you were standing next to a priest, an oil and gas mogul, a banker, you would have absolutely no concept and none of that really matters. But let's talk about expectations versus reality, guys, because when we first went to CARP, there was little to no information out there readily available for us on the internet. And we had to start trying to research and figuring things out. And it's a bit of a ball lake, if I'm honest. If you look up any of the other lifestyle resorts in Jamaica or Mexico, there's a lot of information, you get a good idea. But this is kind of shrouded in mystery. and the reality can be very different to the expectations. What did you think carp would look like before you arrived? I thought it'd be a lot smaller. I didn't realise how big. I mean, it is like any French port village, basically. It's huge. It's massive. So I was quite amazed about how big it was. But even when you go in, you have to pay to go in to get your pass. But even that, it's very professionally done. It was like you're paying to go to any sort of industry. It's so hard to find anything about it. I'd kind of listened to a few podcasts and tried to get some intel and some insight about it. But I didn't, I thought it was going to be actually not the same as you. I thought it was going to be be just kind of one big resort where it was going to be full of well first of all I thought it's going to be full of swingers and then I realized that no it's not it's actually full of standard holiday makers who just like to have a naturist experience and then there are kids there so that was a bit like holy crap I'm walking around and I'm exposing myself to children everywhere which was a bit of a mental kind of mind game for myself to play I didn't really have any preconceived ideas I think I was just going with it okay well we're going to go have some fun be naked experience a range of different experiences forms etc and take it as we find it now that wasn't how I felt when I got there when I got there my first impression was not quite so lovely and just oh yeah let's just go with the flow I don't think I had any major preconceived ideas what what surprised you the most then like what was something that hugely surprised you about the village? I mean, I think if you go to anywhere, it's got its good and bad bits, isn't it? Some of the bits are a bit more tackier. I wouldn't say seaside-y, but I have that sort of feel about it. Fast food joints, things like that. But then there were some exceptional beach bars that you went to that were really high-end. You know, they did great food, had great pools. And then obviously there was, you know, Hotel Babylon, Pool Party, which was just amazing, quite full of. There was pockets of exceptional, like nice, refined stuff there. as well. And then there's some areas that are a bit, I wouldn't say grubby, but just a bit different, I guess. A bit something like fast food-y type places. But it's sort of pretty much what you'd find anywhere when you go on holiday. You find areas of good and bad, don't you? I think what surprised me the most about it was on our first night there going out for dinner. And A, I was highly overdressed in my shorts and top. So that was kind of, I just felt, I felt incredibly being overly dressed, sitting and having dinner and then watching the array of people walk past who are either, some are still naked, some might be in latex, PVC, others are in lacy lingerie. It's just such an eclectic mix of styles and desires that they have and how they want to be represented. And I just found that fascinating. also put me in a really comfy place because I thought, well, Christ, anything goes here. Literally, anything goes. You can be who you want to be, dress how you want to dress or not dress. And nobody bats an eyelid. The best people watching I think I've ever done. I think it was one bar we went past and I had seats, big love seats in the front, just on the promenade. And we were thinking that that was prime seats to just sit, have a drink, watch the world go, It's good for any time of the day, too, because you can have a coffee there. I know exactly what you're talking about. You can have your kind of morning coffee and get a croissant and sit there. And I think the people watching throughout the entire day, it's not like other places where, you know, maybe at 11 p.m. you might start to see some some interesting people roaming around. This is like, oh, it's eight, nine in the morning and you're seeing interesting people walk past and right through and it just runs a gambit all day. I did see a really good accessory, Ben, that I think you would love on my last stay there and a naked guy was walking past and he had this half an armband on so it kind of went from his wrist halfway up his arm and it was just a little strap on kind of clipped around and it was like a purse almost like a had like a zippers in it and it carried like his money and a couple of cards and i was like that 100 is for ben so i've been meaning to tell you about that you don't need to worry about where your pockets are it would really attend though wouldn't it yeah it would but it's better than what you were doing which is keeping all your personal belongings in your prison wallet but let's move on Who do you think that carp is is suited for now that you've experienced it if you were going to say this is a kind of person who should go to carp who would thrive in that environment what would that person look like I think there's enough there for everyone you know I think on the last day we spent on the beach just chilling out and there's families around it was quite chilled out as I said there was some really nice restaurants nice cool pools they were naked but you couldn't play in them you know and then obviously there's pools that you can go and play and get into to all sorts of different truths. But I think there's something there for everyone, really. I think you need to be comfortable to be naked. Yeah, but if we're talking about a spinner or lifestyle traveller, then you can go and be a naturist and have a great time and not experience any of that spinner lifestyle kind of setup. If you're going as a spinner or in the lifestyle, it is for everybody to a degree. So you can go to a lot of these things and you don't have to get involved. you don't have to play you can be the person that you've gone with and have the best you don't have to necessarily it's not you're not going to look for fun with other people but i think if you're also open-minded and you're up for making conversation with people and putting yourself out there a bit then i think that's all accessible to you you can quite happily get involved and play i don't think it's set for a particular age range either. There were definitely younger people we saw there and definitely older people so I would kind of put the range 20 to late 50s potentially is kind of the age range I think I saw. It's your first ever time you haven't swung you want to go and just explore it will open your mind and your eyes for these that you have probably never ever seen and I mean they're great to look at but you can never unsee them either and then I think that you can can go and be well experienced in the lifestyle and crack on and have fun with other people there and who would you say definitely avoid this at all costs what kind of maybe swinger or lifestyle person would you unequivocally say it's not for you don't spend your time on money and go elsewhere i think it's difficult i mean the daytime parties are very different from the evening parties so again i think there is there's options there i think depending on what you like i think if you're hugely introverted and very body conscious then Because I'm body conscious. And then you get there and go, well, I'm no longer body conscious, so crack on. But I think if you're really introverted and you find being surrounded by that many naked people openly having sex, openly playing, and seeing different dynamics of play, I would say that that's probably going to be a complete head fuck for you. I think the sensory overload is definitely something. if he finds, you know, too much. Because, I mean, some of the parties, the music was quite full on the people. I think if you find that difficult, I think it would be a difficult place to go. Speaking of music. Have you got Charlie? Are you going to play Opus? I was going to play Opus, yeah. We're going to move on to a game called the Hot Seat Quickies. I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. Speed round, you don't know what they are. Let's crack on. Would you rather nude beach by day or sex club by night? Speed round, guys. What's your biggest lifestyle turn on? Seeing other people have sex. I'd say good-looking, sexy, confident couples. Okay. Most surprising thing that you've said yes to that you never expected you would? There's some things I said no to when I was in class. Yes to. I don't know. All right. What'd you say no to then? Because you've put it out there now. We have to know. to a space dust blowjob. Fair enough. If you could teleport to any lifestyle event, where would you go? Capdag. Yeah. Capdag. The moose party. Oh, the moose party. Absolutely. What was the most awkward moment that you had at carp? Yeah, both have to answer this one. I don't know that I had an awkward moment. Oh, come on. Did I have an awkward moment? I forgot. All right, Ben, you share while Kate's thinking. Read your tart questions. I'd be probably saying no to someone. It's always difficult and awkward. That's a tough one. I had no awkward moments. Oh, okay. Obviously. Let me just dust the dust off your shoulders there for you, Kay. Favourite outfit or lack thereof from the week? As in favourite outfit that I saw or that I was wearing? You know what? I'll let you have one that you saw. It actually wasn't an outfit in an evening outfit. It was Babylon pool party. There were a couple of ladies wearing the most exquisite. I said body jewellery. And it was just, I mean, they look stunning. So yeah, gold body jewellery was made. That was beautiful. Best outfit, I'd probably say Kate on the black knight. They're pretty stunning. Oh, you're just too cute. But also, on the white knight, I loved your boots. Thank you. They're pretty cool. My fluffy ones, yeah. A couple walks up to you at the bar. What's your go-to floaty opener? Yeah, I defer to Ben because he's my opener. Shirty Opener. Oh man, I don't really have one. It's just generally just chat. Where are you from? What are you doing here? Having a good time? No, you'd always compliment. I mean, I always compliment somebody on what they're wearing, how they look. But if they're not wearing anything, what would you comment on? Well, they might have amazing makeup, they might have amazing boobs, beautiful hair, great sunglasses. I think for me, it's giving somebody a compliment that puts them at ease. And if I don't come in here to compliment, I love it he defers to me yeah right well that is it for the hot seat quickies I do have another game we're going to play later and it's a game segment like a guess who who's at cup but we'll come back to that because I want to hear about some of your stories now Kate you mentioned about the outfits a second ago and I do have to interject with a story that you and I shared which was when Ben was off site and there was a gentleman at the front of the Babylon pool party who was absolutely rocking out for a very long period of time. And his outfit was a combination of like leather and gumboots and a bit of latex kind of thrown in and a funny hat. Do you remember that guy? Not the cowboy hat guy in the pool, but there was another dude dancing right at the front and he was going for it and he had gumboots on. Yes, he was amazing. It was great. And he's an example of where you can truly wear whatever the hell you want and just be whoever the hell you want. because I remember we were sitting there looking and we were like that guy is just living his best life and not a single fuck was given about anybody else. Yeah, and he was. He was quite a much older guy as well. Yep. And he was amazing and we saw him a few nights later wearing exactly the same outfit so he'd obviously been rocking that for the entire week. Maybe he too misplaced his suitcase. Yeah. All right, so we're going to move on and talk a little bit about your story. So you've gotten yourselves there. You've now experienced kind of the first few days of a carp and, you know, realised the village is much bigger. You've had your awkward moments of going grocery shopping and sitting down for a coffee completely in the nude. Can you share with us a memorable, sexy moment from your time at carp? I think one of the moments definitely in the moose party or the phone party they had a hot tub on the side and there was a big group of us all there and just to try and plan it a day it was raining wasn't it it was raining in there but we all piled in the music was going and at one point in the call party I had a woman sitting on my lap and then another woman came over and was kissing her at the same time and I was just acting as a chair basically but oh my god And it was like foam going off, smoke going everywhere, music going. And it was just, it just felt like this sort of hedonistic, anything could happen. And it was just hot to just be a participant in the whole thing. It was just quite surreal. I saw that going on. That was actually quite hot, by the way, because I was obviously dancing on the side of the pool. So I saw that actually happening and you were happy as a clam. I was very happy. Yeah, absolutely. Two amazing women sitting there kissing on my lap. It was like, wow. Okay. living your best life, Ben. But my second bit from there, though, is I have one memory. It absolutely hammered it down with rain and they shut the club. The lightning started. And myself and all of us three managed to escape the club before they actually shut the door and wouldn't let anybody out. Anyway, I've got an image of Kate running naked through the streets in torrential rain and, like, forked lightning coming down. I could just see Kate dying, thinking, well, at least she died happy. through the rain. It was just surreal, very surreal moment. That was funny and we were the winningest out of all of them. What about you, Kate? What was a sexy, memorable moment for you? I think it was actually, I mean, Lucy Party was amazing, but it was more being in the Babylon 4 Party because it's, and this was an unfortunate time that Ben had to leave 4 Party and it was just as the party the party was getting to its kind of full height of energy and dancing and we'd all had some drinks and I think it was being in the pool surrounded by a sea of bodies on the edge of the pool all having most incredible fun people dancing and then just kind of working your way around the pool having the odd kiss here and there having a kind of couple of kisses with people two men and a woman Yeah, that was, I think, pretty much on, what, the first proper day. And so I was just like, whoa, this is what we are set up for now for the week. That was the start of many great sexy moments that we had while we were there. I love that. Do you think that at any point, because you were on your own for a little bit there, did you feel overwhelmed? Did you feel like, shit, I'm kind of on my own, there's an element of safety? How are you feeling about being on your own in that very heightened environment? I think because we went with the group and that group of people were all stationed at one kind of corner in the pool and I didn't go out to that group that felt really secure and I also knew that everybody else in that group knew that Ben had gone and so I was being nicely looked after and the amount of people that checked in and said are you all right do you need anything do you want a drink blah so I was being kind of nicely managed. Now, I don't think I'd have ever been in a situation where I'd have stayed there on my own. That would have been, I'd have probably just sat on the side and sat there rocking, looking, going, oh my God, oh my God, what do I do? And I think that's the joy of going as part of a group as well. You know, we'd met everybody the day before, around the hall, got to have good conversations. So you kind of felt you knew them and we were all in the same situation. Well, I think generally people in the cab bag, they are respectful. You know, there's this implied consent. But we never really had any issues at all. We never felt there was any point that we were sort of having to push people away or people coming forward. It all felt very safe, which was good. Now, I know that you guys went to a club one of the nights and the club was less than stellar. And as you said before, Ben, there really is something for everybody there. I think that no matter your socioeconomic background, there's going to be something. They're for everybody. And obviously some places do tend to have a higher price tag. Some places a cheaper price tag. Some places, like you said, are a little bit kitschy. Tell me about your experience walking into a club that you were like, no, I don't want to be here anymore. I mean, I think we went with a group of us after being at an evening pool party. We closed a bit earlier. So we then went to, I won't say the name of the club, unless you want to, but we went there. And the mad thing is, they had this dress thing going on that Some people, they wouldn't let in because they had shorts on. I took my shorts off and just went in my pants and they said, yeah, he's fine because he's not wearing shorts, but I could wear underwear. So our first impression was like, this place is bonkers. You can't work out what are the rules to get in. But we did get in and we went downstairs and it was single mouths, isn't it? Yeah. But there was, it was just wall to wall single mouths. I think all of us walked in and you could see them all going, hello, you know, what's going on here? But then we got a bit disorientated, didn't we? So we ended up walking down what we thought was a place to go upstairs, and it was just a tunnel of men. And we walked all the way down and realized that it's just a dead-end tunnel. So then we had to come back in and walk all the way back down this tunnel of men. And you were just like, get me the fuck out of here pretty quickly. And then we went upstairs to the most disappointing-looking, the most unsexy club I think I have ever been in. Yeah, I think someone coined it. It's like an airport lounge. And I think the issue was that there was nobody there who really looked like they'd made an effort to be there. So I think we were overdressed because we'd all made, I suppose, an effort. And maybe that's just the way I perceive effort. There were just guys with their trousers kind of shuffled down past their bums or people's hands down their trousers. And it was hugely smoky. That's the one thing I'll say about it. Because you smoke inside, it's overwhelming if you come from somewhere. Even if you're a smoker, I think it's probably quite overwhelming. So we went in there, had one drink, and promptly left very quickly because it was just nothing. There's no appeal. There's nothing sexy about it. It's probably the worst club we've been to. But you know, it also may appeal to somebody who is just trying this for the first time and feels overwhelmed by a really sexy, where they're not ready to take all their clothes off and they want to just kind of school boy shuffle their trousers down and have somebody give them a little hand job yeah discreetly is what it felt like discreetly yeah it is true i think that when daryl and i talk about clubs that we go to one of the things that we now base all other clubs around the world on is i walked into a club one time and i went in and we were looking around it's the first time there. So we did the, you know, have a look around, see what's going on, the bars there, kind of familiarized ourselves with the layout, went into the playroom area, a bit large playroom area. I think there must be 30 plus playrooms at this particular club. And as we walked in, I commented, I turned around to Daryl. I'm like, this place makes me want to have sex. This place is sensual. It's sexy. I actually want to have sex in this place. You know, that was just the general feeling. And now we base all our clubs on that. What feeling do you get when you walk in there? Does it make you go, oh shit, this is actually really fucking sexy. I can't wait to have sex in here. Or do you walk in and go, this is grim. Yeah, and this was a, this is grim, but we bought a drink and we may as well just sit and have the drink. And then get out of there. And I think actually, Ben, you were the one that actually turned around and said, well, as we're here, shall we just do something? And I was like, as we're here, absolutely not. We are not doing anything. I guess I'm all the half glass full man you know it's like we're here now we're paid to get in let's just have some fun and Kate was like absolutely not we're getting out of here and I was like all right fine but we are here you're like have passport will travel Kate's like have condom and lube and they're going back in my bag I'm not having it exactly what didn't you pack for carp that you should have packed I realize obviously you had a bit of a suitcase debacle but was there anything kind of day three in you started to see other people wear or something we thought I should have bought X, Y, Z. I don't have to think, what was... And it was for me, I think it's lovely to be, well, I say this now, it was lovely to be naked, but I would love to have accessorised my nakedness for some of the parties. You had jewellery envy. Yeah, I did have jewellery envy, and I also had a bit of kind of glitter, body gem envy, which generally isn't the thing that I normally do. But I think when you're going to a party and then you look at other people who just put that extra bit of effort than just rocking up naked, I mean, that's what I would have packed. And I will pack when we go again. That's what I'll do. What would you tell a listener who might have been planning their first trip to carp? What would be a gold star piece of advice for someone who's coming on their first trip? I mean, don't pack too much. You don't need very much. a couple of days longer than it was Bastille Day. So it was really busy. Everything was absolutely smashed out. So I think if you're going to go sort of, I guess, more in high season, I think you would book ahead because we tried to get into, was it Manabee? Yeah, we tried to get in there and they were like, no, no chance. You know, it's fully booked. So if you're going during a high season or particularly on a French holiday weekend, definitely book ahead. Try and book up places, do a bit of research, which is very difficult to do, but talk to people and work out where it's good to go and what you like I'd probably say yeah I think side of what we pack and logistics for me is go try stuff and embrace being there I think you're right book ahead for things you want to get into four parties that you can get a vrp pass in to get in early so that you're not kind of rammed on the sidelines but I think you can let some barriers down go and try everything there are some Yeah, absolutely. In my view, must-dos, which is, you know, the Glamour, the Moose Party, the Four Parties, because they are just bonkers. And they are, I mean, the Glamour's not. Glamour's a beautiful club, but the Four Parties and everything else is just a bit bonkers. You'll experience that anywhere else. You know, being outside, amazing music, amazing people. I'm sure you do see it elsewhere, but all of it is within this area in Cap. I think you just have to go and enjoy it and experience it. Yeah and I think just to add to that, embrace it, go and try everything and it doesn't mean you have to actually interact and play. You're not going with a requirement to go and do something, you're actually just going to have an experience and have some fun being in the experience. Hell yeah, I love that advice, that's actually something that I like to give to people is actually try something new. You did say a word there which was boundaries and I want to talk a little bit about that. How were your discussions about boundaries going into CARP and did they flex at all while you were in CARP? And then after that, how did you feel about some of those boundaries if they did flex? Yeah, I think we had a conversation before we went, which was what are those boundaries? And I think we started with a, we are a full couple swap. So we'll keep that where those boundaries are. But the view was that we would then, if things were evolving while we were there, then we would talk about it we were comfortable but you could have kind of kiss with somebody but that wasn't the case of go rock up and see somebody at the bar that you've never spoke to before and i've never met or been so i met and just do it so i think there were those kind of boundaries they did get flexed didn't they in the first day well i think the reason why i left the ball party in the first day is because right there i can't even lost our luggage so i had to go and collect it so i left kate at the ball party and i said well look this is great go and have some fun you know and we've not done any solo stuff before and you yeah you did go and have some fun i think it was fine but i think you realize our students that it's not really for us as a sort of thing i didn't really get anything out of it i mean you enjoyed it which was fine i had a great time but also i realized that i actually like my partner being in the same vicinity now you don't have to be in the same kind of lying next to each other But I like to be able to see him, know where he is, also as part of the enjoyment and the excitement as well. And so I think it hasn't done any damage. It literally has given us an indication of what we now know we like and we don't like. And that's not to say in the future we won't do that again and that will be great. But right now it's not where we are. I think, as you say, we were there to go and try and push the boundaries, do different things. really worked for us, but we didn't have any major for the outlay. We just carried on. So I think it was a good space to go and try that. I think if anything, it probably reaffirmed what your boundaries are, right? As you just said, you kind of tried something new and you went, oh yeah, okay. It was fun, fine, but probably not for us. So it's probably just reaffirmed that, yeah, we're on the right path for what we get the most out of. Kate, do you think that some of that combined play, you know, part of that is maybe compersion for Ben, but from your sexuality standpoint as well, When Ben is engaging, when you are in that couple space, is it your preference to be with another lady as well? Because you mentioned before that lots of hands, lots of things to do. Is that part of maybe why that play is a little bit more elevated when you're in that foursome or group play? Yeah, I mean, yeah, definitely. I'm super comfortable now playing with women and that's something that I really enjoy. So when we're in a four, that's really exciting. Absolutely. And, you know, that's why we're also looking at having a single lady with the two of us, because that's something that we'll both enjoy. And I think that's probably greater preference than having a single male in the three of us. But we did have our first threesome while we were there as well. She was pretty incredible. I've taken off a lot of the stuffer, and I'm just going to get it. We had a beautiful next-door neighbour who met or had a kiss and stuff at the phone party. And then she just popped round about five o'clock, and one thing led to another. Daytime play is the best kind of play. Yeah, and spontaneous play, which was great. So that was the first time we'd done that. It was a really, really great experience, isn't it? Yeah, and generally every experience we had has been a really incredible experience. We met some really amazing, lovely people on that trip. I don't know if there's been any negativity at all. Did you have any goals going in aside from kind of discussing your boundaries? Were the two of you kind of saying, hey want to get everything out of it we can want to try all the things but did you kind of go in for in into it together and say like okay if this happens like bang up for this or we really want to try and seek out this this amazing thing or do you just kind of want to see what cup brought to you no we didn't i think we went with the view that we knew kind of what those boundaries were to begin with and let's see how it unfolds and as i said we worked out what works for us and what doesn't but we were pretty open around that. And I think that's why I kind of say, you know, go and embrace it. And I didn't want to go with any preconceived ideas of we need to achieve this. Because if I go with that, and then I don't achieve it, I'm like, well, why haven't I achieved that? And also add the level of pressure that you've got to go and find that thing. Add enough pressure going into it, thinking I have to be naked. And when that was the Libio style, that force of now we can just go and enjoy the experience. But remember the very open mind that just said, you know, what happens? You know what we like. We met some amazing couples. And I think when the spark flies, you know, you know, there's that engagement. Difficult to meet two couples that mutually all like all four of each other. Yeah, we were lucky to have that. We had that in cap. And that was, you know, that's the exciting part, isn't it? You're suddenly just like, hold on. We quite like each other here. Something can happen. And it does. So we just went and just ached a mind and see what happens. And I think it worked out really well to us. A lot of the questions when I do talk about C.A.R.P. is around the language barrier. So did you find it difficult to converse with other people? But I think what comes out of that, it's actually not the language barrier that people are asking about. It's was it difficult to form connections? When you were experiencing C.A.R.P., obviously we had our group and then there's hundreds, thousands of other people out there. and I know Kate at one point I bought a couple over and I just met them in the pool and I was like hey Kate these are the other people that I've just randomly met how did you guys find making connections stepping out of your comfort zone going and introducing yourself to other people did you find it difficult was it easy do you think people were in clicks is it hard to make connections I don't think it was I think I mean it's terrible is it that most most people speak English which is really bad thing to say which makes us very amazing but I mean I think we went to Babylon on the last day on Bastille It was predominantly French, wasn't it? So there was a bit of language barrier there. But generally, we didn't really find it an issue, did we? No, I mean, you're in such close proximity with people. So you generally say hello when you're about to sit down on the pool next to somebody else on a map somewhere. And then you have a brief conversation and you don't need to be lifelong buddies. But I didn't find any issue with that going up to the bar. People would talk to you. I mean, everybody's super sociable, polite. There were no barriers for me. Language certainly wasn't a barrier. Lots of nods. And, you know, that means that you can communicate quite effectively without having to actually use the language. I do have to give you guys shit, though, because I remember, again, I introduced actually a really lovely couple to Kate, by the way. They were well-traveled, well-spoken, super interesting people. And I brought them over and I was like, Kate, meet my new friends that I've just met in the pool. So I went out there in the wild and I bought you guys back. You did. A really nice couple. Meanwhile, the two of you fucking go out in the wild and you send me some creepy dude back. Yes, we did. I forgot that. Yeah. So I just want to say thanks for that. But the story behind this one, guys, I was in the pool and a dude walks up to me and he basically said, oh, you're from the Netherlands, you're from Utrecht. He's like, I think we've kissed before. And I can tell you unequivocally, there's no way I was kissing this dude. And I actually responded very similar to that. I was like, absolutely not. That's not the case. You've got me confused with somebody else. And then he quoted where we live, which is a town of like 700,000 people. And as that was all kind of unfolding and he starts trying to touch my pussy, by the way. So again, thanks for that. Look over and the two of you are absolutely pissing yourselves laughing at the other end of the pool. And you just thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. So I still do have to get you back for that. You won't know when. I've got a very specific particular set of skills. You're not going to know when, but I'm just saying, sleep with one eye open. Yeah. Thanks. He was quite a strange guy. I was sitting on the side of the pool and Kate was giving me a head. And this guy just decided to pretend to come in at the same time. And I was like, whoa, easy pal. He looked up and just laughed. And I was like, who is this guy? And then he started putting ice down Kate's back and doing all sorts of stuff, but joking around. Yeah. And then after we'd stopped, we were chatting to him. He said, oh, I Dutch, I'm from Utrecht. And I was like, oh, Kate, it's from there. It's not. I'm going to go and say hello to her and tell her that I know her. So you basically left her to her. All right, let's now take a pause again and we're going to go back and we're going to play a game of Guess Who. Do you guys know Guess Who? Is that, I'm assuming that's pretty common. You guys have seen it. Right. So this is inspired by the classic game Guess Who, but with more nudity and less mustaches, I don't know. So we're going to call this game Who's a Carp? And it's an adults only version of Guess Who. So here we go. Got a couple of questions for you. I've got six. Wears only a mesh thong, aviators, and far too much cologne. Spends 40% of the day flexing near the foam party. Real or imagination? Real. Real. 100%. British couple wearing coordinated pineapple print. Friendly, flirty, but vanish at 10 p.m. sharp every night. Did you meet them? No. No. Didn't meet them. Naked except for a cowboy hat and a glow necklace. Possibly German. Definitely confident. Every club has one. Correct? Yes. Yes. Yeah. And also, yeah, hung like a donkey. She's in heels and latex at 2pm on the beach casually eating ice cream like it's no big deal. Style queen or commitment to the bit? Commitment. Commitment. Right, the invisible couple always around but never talking to anybody, just always watching. Did you see them? Yeah. The veteran carpetendi knows every single club owner by name, gives you unsolicited advice and has a different outfit or lack thereof for every hour. Love them or dodge them? All righty. Well, there we go. That has been the Annals version of Guess Who. But I do want you guys really quickly to create your own avatar. So if you were one of the little tiles in Guess Who at Cup, who is your Cup dog Guess Who avatar? And I want you to do it for each of you. So Ben, if you can give me what Kate's avatar on her Cup Guess Who style pin would look like and Kate back at Ben. Oh, I think it would be looking bronzed wearing gold jewellery. Clips Carp is the golden question here. 100%. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, loved it. Awesome. That's good to hear. We're actually going back in a week and two days. I'm super, super excited. We're not jealous, Kate. We're not jealous. It is actually going to be really, really busy when we're there. So the time we went is not beginning of the season, but it's kind of just before peak season. And so the lines to the club aren't horrendous and the phone party and stuff. But while we're there, what we're going to experience is very, everybody there on that time very specifically because it would be a nightmare getting a group of our size into any of these establishments the last time we were there we had to wait two hours to get into the phone party no yeah so this is going to give us an indication of like when we went versus when daryl and i go back because it you really do need to get to like the babylon pool party you have to get there at noon because otherwise it's heaving you can't just kind of rock up at two or three when it's hopping you've really got to be committed I have a studio so I've rented a little villa instead wow lovely yeah I was I was sharing all of my amazing swinger holiday pictures with the both of you because that's part of your payback for sending that gentleman thanks I'll send you little photos from Waikiki and I'm like oh I just had this amazing cocktail at Waikiki and everyone's here we went to Waikiki dinner on the last night he was really good he was very good very good such a nice place just really It's a nice place. It's great. Was there anything that you didn't get to experience at Cup that you wish you had? I think I probably would have liked to have experienced a few more of the clubs. So I'd heard about a couple of them. I can't even tell you their names because I can't remember them. But there are a couple that I think I would like to have gone against to kind of snoop around there. There's one there's BDSM club. Just to go and experience what the other clubs were like. And I think also to get to the beach bars would have been good. But that's what we'll do next time. So we've got to keep something for the next trip. That was a really nice beach club. We didn't get to go in there. So yeah, there's definitely stuff we want to go back and see that we didn't do and go back and do more pool. I mean, are there more pool parties like Babylon or is that one of the main ones? Babylon is one of the main ones. So that's every Wednesday and every Friday peak season. But there are other parties. a nighttime party at a hotel. It's called the Riyadh. That is there as well. So there are little bits and pieces. There's a lot to experience in like the five days we were there. Almost impossible because the other thing too is like if you do experience something like that, you kind of want to go back because the second time you might be a little bit more comfortable. I think that going back as a group again, what I would probably do in this kind of leads to what you were just saying, Kate, is I would go to the night parties, but I would say, right, we're going to get there at nine, which is super fucking early. Let's say we're going to leave at 11 and and we're going to go to the clubs and we're going to pick a different club each night to go to. So if you want to keep partying, come to the club at 11 with us. So I think that's probably something that, you know, Daryl and I are going to hit up a shit ton more clubs while we're there in the four days, five days we're there. So we'll, yeah, we'll report back. Tough one though. Last question before we get ready to head out. Was there something that you wish your partner had done more or less of during the trip? I promise I'm not trying to create fights or divorces, but you know, the people want to know Ben and Kate. I can't fault you, but I won't fault you in here. Because he's a great conversationalist. I'm probably slightly more introverted to a degree. Ben's happy to go and have a conversation and that is a really great way for us to then kind of chat to people. I don't think there's anything really that I wish you'd done more or less of. Maybe less drinking at times, but you know. I think I've done too much. I wish we'd done more going out to eat. So I think we ate out. There were some pretty good restaurants. I don't think we ate at all, really. We didn't eat hardly at all. We drank a lot, but we didn't eat a lot. But we didn't go and get smashed every day. It was just like stinting drinking and then eating snacks in between. So I wish we'd actually gone out and had a bit of time just to have something to eat, chill out a little bit. It was quite a packed programme. You did stuff during the day and then you were having a bit of time to then get ready to go back out and get in the evening, you know. But yeah, I wish we'd done a bit more sort of going out, eating, exploring, doing other stuff. I do wish that a second week off work was a week to get over our weekend cap. It was exhausting. I mean, so much fun. But yeah, exhausting. Yeah, you're right about the meal thing. I think that I was eating the same roast chicken in my room like two or three days in a row. And by the end of it, I was like, I think the time you saw me and Daryl at a restaurant, Daryl and I, was the only meal except for the very last day that we had out at all. And then that one day where I was like, I've got to go out. I have to have an actual meal sitting down with fork and knife and just like a plate. And I just want to feel for a second like I'm a normal, regular human being instead of a crazy squirrel in my room, just eating the leftovers of whatever I can, shoveling into my face for 10 minutes. But no, it was good. I mean, the feed was good. Everything was good. But I think we just wish we could explore it a bit more, really. So until next time. To be continued. Well, I'm glad you guys had a really good time. I'm glad that you, you know, again, pushed your boundaries enough to where you had a good time but didn't overstep the line, reaffirmed what you like and that you had enough of a good time that you're keen to go back and keep exploring. So thank you. That was absolutely amazing talking to you guys on the podcast about your Cupdag trip. Yeah, we just want to say, Thank you to you, Kate. It was a really good group of people that you brought together. Everyone had some common interests. Some of the people knew each other really well, but we never ever felt like they were groups of people, you know, that were sort of friends. Everyone was very open and talkative. Yeah, it was a really good community that you created, so you should be really proud of them. It was great. Thank you. Yeah. All right. Well, until next time, guys, we will chat to you later on, but this has been The Wanderlust Swingers with Ben and Kate from the UK, talking about cup d'arg. So until next time, guys, see you later. Cheers, Kate.