C Masterpodding The Prequel to Our Single Manicorn Date – P19

Transcript

Speaker1: This is C, and this is Swinging Down Under. Welcome to a special edition of Swinging Down Under. This is C, and I'm currently masterpodding for my upcoming date, or our upcoming date rather, with our manicorn. Now, I wanted to do this episode pre and post date, so I could share a little bit of information about what it is like to date a single guy in the lifestyle. So a manicorn, if you haven't quite worked out yet, is a male unicorn. The reason we started titling our single male friends manicorns is because we realized that it's actually much, much harder to find a sexy, intelligent, well put together male in the lifestyle who's interested in having a date with a swinging couple much more actually difficult than finding I think a female unicorn in the lifestyle so a lot of couples out there are looking for threesomes with a an additional female for the bedroom Dee and I have a preference recently for males in the bedroom and it's tough I'm not gonna lie it's tough to find them it's tough to find good ones and it's really almost tiring to go through the mountain of profiles that are available online for these people so I thought I would do a little special podcast about it and you know I'm quite nervous about tonight and wanted to share with you some of the thoughts and the processes, I guess, that go through actually setting up a date with a manicorn. So welcome, and I hope you find this really informative, and I hope you find it a little bit funny at times and, you know, entertaining, I guess, for possibly the next 40 minutes. So we'll see how we go. So finding a guy in the lifestyle to be your manicorn is tough it's hard I mean I've spoken about this on a previous master podding podcast for swinging down under and I stand by it it's it's exhausting going through profiles it's tough to find good quality guys that perhaps aren't just in it for the sex alone and certainly want to have an additional connection. I mean, it would be great if we just cared about bringing someone home and shagging the pants off them and letting them then go on their merry way. But Dee and I, as we've said before, we're sociosexual. So intelligent mind as well as a sexy body is what we find the most exciting and certainly what turns me on and what turns Dee on. I'm certainly not going to the bedroom unless I think somebody's sexy in both their mind and their body. So it's hard to find people. Now, recently D and I were away for a weekend over the Christmas period and D started downloading some new apps. Now he downloaded an app called Thr. Now, anyone who's aware of the DER apps that are out there in the world, so you've got Tinder, you've got Thrinder, you've got Grindr, they're all part of the same family. And Thrinder is people looking for a threesome, either a single person looking to join a couple or a couple looking for a third person to join them in the bedroom. So Dee downloads this app. I think at this point I'm probably having an afternoon nap from all of the cheese and wine we've consumed over the Christmas break. So he has downloaded the app and he's doing a little bit of a looking around and he stumbles upon a single guy who's dressed in a suit, quite well presented, a face shot on on his profile as well and his profile is is well articulated so he is a standout really and um d does a little swipe swipe left i think it is swipe right swipe right to like the person so you download the app and you get their profile and you can swipe down to like them so it's a little bit different to the tinder app i'm getting the hand gestures from d in the background who's sitting in the lounge room he's saying it's swipe down for good up for bad all right so swipe down is a thumbs up swipe up is a thumbs down which is quite ironic it's kind of a bit of backwards there and he found he found this guy so they start he says yes i like this person at the same time this person has said he likes us right so this is pretty good at this point it's going pretty well and um i think that just a little bit of a pause for the thrinder app as well thrinder seems to be quite good for people who are looking for a little bit of bisexuality in the bedroom as well um if you are a couple and you want to play with another person so say i wanted to play with another female or say d wanted to play with another man thrinder can also be quite good for finding that same sex bisexuality for the bedroom um for a couple which i think is actually quite a benefit if you want to have that um sort of sexual exploration or if you're that way inclined know, perhaps you're on the Kinsey scale leading towards the fours and fives, or even three or whatever you are, it's quite great to have an opportunity to look into bringing that person into the bedroom as well. And, of course, your partner gets to watch or play, so really it's just a win everybody has a lot of fun so that's a little bit about the the thrinder app so d finds this guy he's quite sexy he's quite intelligent and we all start kind of chatting chatting on the app on the thrinder app more recently we've um kind of given up on some of the other social media platforms for finding a a guy i've had a few messages recently again that are kind of like a one-liner what are you doing tonight can i come over or hey baby how's about it or what do you like i get a lot of that like what do you like kind of like where do you want me to put it baby and honestly they they don't even they don't even get a response those ones they just get a delete um and so it's tiring and we haven't kind of had a soiree with a single guy for quite a while actually um months i would say so it's kind of exciting that we have a date tonight um with with the mannequin but also god i'm a bit nervous you know so we'll see so we found we found this guy and you know so now you've kind of i'm going to say you've caught him because again he's a fabled creature so we've managed to kind of catch him and now what do we do so we talked to him on on kick kick is a texting kind of app where d and i can both have our own profiles and chat with you know another couple or a group of people or a single guy it's quite good if you don't want to share your mobile phone you have the ability to then chat without any concerns about your safety or security so it's really quite good if you don't have kick which is kik it's probably a good good idea to get it. It's been really, really helpful for us. Also for flirting as well, just kind of gives you that opportunity to have a bit of chit-chat and see what people are about and what they like and if you have any connection at all. So we caught up quickly on a first date about a month ago and we went for a bit of an afternoon drink fairly close to us I think it was about probably 15 minutes drive and he came and met us at a bar and we just had a glass of wine and some nibbles just for I don't know it was about an hour and I went and sat next to him he had told me that he was a boobs man so I wore a black kind of plunge play suit to kind of show off the girls and you know make him know that I was interested and certainly kind of give him a bit of something to see and he was certainly happy about that he commented a couple of times on the outfit choice but I was so nervous so I sat next to him and you know Dee was sitting across from us and we're all kind of engaging in conversation and it's not dirty conversation it's just you know what we like to do we like to go scuba diving and he likes to scuba dive we like to rock climb and he likes to rock climb so talking about our adventures of travel and these sorts of things but I just I guess because I'm a bit out of practice I'm a little bit nervous I don't know how to react to this person. I don't know how to flirt. Do I sit closer? Do I touch his leg? All of these kinds of things are running through my head. And it's, you know, kind of like three in the afternoon too, so the sun's out and it's a little bit naughty, I guess, in a public place. And, yeah, I don't know. It's awesome, but also at the same time it can get quite quite nerve wracking. I think for me, you know, probably some seasonal people that are used to it. It's probably less nerve wracking, but we are still learning. We're only one year into the lifestyle. So I still get nervous. So from there, I've actually been traveling a fair bit recently for work. And so we've been using kick while I've been away to kind of keep the conversation going and you know kind of keep the flirting happening and we've set up the date for tonight so you know how do you set up another catch-up you just basically talk about it are you keen to continue chatting and possibly see each other and then from there you know you can depending on your comfort level flirt whether that's just flirting via text whether you're sending a couple of naughty pictures backwards and forwards it's really up to you and how much you want to take that that flirting or that Thank you. flirt whether that's just flirting by text whether you're sending a couple of naughty pictures backwards and forwards it's really up to you and how much you want to take that that flirting or that interaction before it's face to face so um some of the things that kind of catch me or things that I I think about before we go on a date um is generally around the experience so I'm thinking about what kind of experience does he have with other couples? And then obviously what is our experience with other single guys? So we've been with one other single guy so far in the lifestyle and we've been, been with a couple, you know, couples, but, um, but single guys not, don't have a lot of experience with. So I guess wanting someone who's maybe at the same level of experience or a little bit more than us is quite good because they can kind of lead the way a little bit, but also they're not too experienced. I mean, we stumbled upon a profile about six months ago and he had, I'm going to probably get this wrong, but I feel like it was about 47 validations. So that's where people have gone onto the social media profile on the dating site and said, he is great 47 times. Now, when you see that kind of, when you see those kinds of stats, you do pause, you take a moment to go, holy hell, how am I going to be keeping up with this person? Or what do I do? He knows more than me or, you know, all these sorts of things kind of run through your head. So his experience with other couples, you know, is suitable to us, is quite good. So he has had some experience but not a whole heap more than us, which is great because he kind of gets to teach us but at the same time not less than us. So that's something that I always consider is kind of how much experience have they had and I guess therefore what what are they expecting or what are they used to you know are they wanting to go out for a date or do they just want to come home and have a good time and then leave you know both both ways are great and not necessarily there's not one better way than the next way but of course it's really down to your experience and what you're after and what you like so that's that's something that you need to take into consideration too. Of course then it stems to that is that you know am I going to potentially disappoint this person in the bedroom if they've got a lot of experience and maybe we're a bit nervous you know are we going to be able to kind of keep up with the mojo and and not necessarily perform but kind of keep things at a pace that the other person's quite comfortable with and so are we we might want to be a little bit slower and that person might want to be a little bit faster because they're kind of a bit more used to it so it's date night um Dee and I have had the chat you know obviously like what do we want potentially out of tonight um as as far as we would want to go but certainly not crossing any any boundaries that that we may or may not have and also just kind of setting the scene for you know yes you can kind of get halfway through the date and if you want to say no or you can get halfway through the date and say you know i'm wanting to kind of catch up a little bit more before we take it to the bedroom so tonight's just a pants on or a fun night out not necessarily for play so that's important to kind of just catch up with your partner and have that that chat that interaction where do you want to go it also gives d the opportunity to kind of see where i'm or feel where i'm at and then maybe we can give you know each other sort of that communication during the evening to say how do we feel about it where do we want to go from here and all these types of things as well so that's pretty important to have that chat even if you have been playing or in the lifestyle for years it's always good to just have a quick kind of recap on what do you want out of the evening or where do you think it's going to go or what's the furthest you're willing to go. So I mentioned before that a couple of times that I'm a little bit nervous. So at the moment, kind of I'm thinking, God, you know, we're going out with this guy. What if I overstep the boundaries or I scare him away a little bit or what if i don't really know how to flirt properly and actually it's um it's funny i was recently listening to one of the podcasts that that we follow um in the lifestyle and it's um me and mrs jones or we got a thing and it's their episode 18 it's about i think one hour and 10 minutes in or so and mr jones admits that he's not or hasn't been in the past so great with flirting and d and i were talking about this recently because we've been together for seven years and so a little bit dusty a little bit out of the game and flirting for me is tough you know i actually have to think about it it doesn't come. And Mr. Jones was sort of saying the same thing. You know, he has to kind of make the effort to keep flirting and practice makes perfect. So I've been doing a lot of that kind of lately, thinking about how do I flirt, making sure I'm flirting, making sure I'm giving off the right signals because I might be thinking I am, but, you know, not really kind of going to the lengths of of touching somebody in the leg or laughing at them and these kinds of things but certainly you do get better and and that was the funny thing about Mr. Jones's comment he was saying he's much better now and he was talking about having a business meeting and he had her eating out of the palm of his hand because the lifestyle has taught him to be a little bit more aggressive in his flirting or his tactics on controlling a room or making sure that the people know he's there. So that's something that I'm a little bit concerned about and I want to try and make sure that I'm flirting. So I'll let you know how that goes tomorrow when I kind of do the post-date podcast, whether or not I thought that I was good at flirting. Maybe Dee can give you some insight on that as well. I don't know. We'll see. But I mean, so we're going out tonight. It's kind of three in the afternoon now and we're heading out at seven for a quick kind of catch up, maybe some share plates and some couple of wines before we head out and maybe have a bit of a dance and those kinds of things so really at this point we don't know where the night's going to end up and so we're thinking okay well what do we wear so what does d wear what do i wear and i've got about three kind of four outfits in mind that i'll generally have and this is if we go on any kind of date or if we go to a lifestyle event generally I'll have a couple of outfits on the on the ready and I will try them on and decide which one I feel the most sexiest in on that particular moment in time because you know as a woman we change our minds like no one's business so it's possible that I'll hate three of those four outfits later and then I'll put one on and that's the one I'm going to go with because tonight for some reason I've decided that's the one that makes me look the best so I'm pretty sure I'm leaning towards a white strapless number but I'll uh yeah maybe I'll let you know later on Twitter I'll maybe tweet up a picture of what I'm going to wear on our date night tonight so where are we going we're actually heading to a bar in Sydney city and it's a fairly low-key bar i picked the first location because it was a little bit quieter and that's important we we actually went um we hosted a pub crawl towards the end of last year and the first bar we went to was so noisy that people actually couldn't communicate as well as we would like and you know being swingers being a lifestyle we love communicating we love talking love meeting new friends and so that is so important so the first place I picked was sexy a little bit underground I think there's a lot of velvet a lot of couches so you can kind of get close and and it's got a nice vibe but also it's not too noisy so we're going to start there and then afterwards we'll just kind of see where the vibe takes us on on where we go next i've got like four or five places in mind that we could pick if we wanted to kind of continue on with some fun preparation i'm currently sitting here waiting on my tan to dry which is kind of a little bit funny but yeah yes i'm a girl so i want to look my best and i feel my best. And for me, that's having a little bit of color on my skin. So yep, I'm sitting here in my tan and I like to call it baking, um, probably like two hours into my bake at this point in time. So that's one of the preparations for me. And then obviously making sure that you feel good and look good is really important. So if you've got a, I mean, a particular set of panties that you like to wear or that you think are quite sexy or you feel sexy and wear those I mean if you've got a particular perfume that you like and that makes you feel sexy wear that on you or do your hair the way that makes you feel sexy all these little things kind of go into the evening and the preparation for you to be the most confident sexiest person that you could possibly be and the same goes for your partner you know you want them to feel and look good as well because this date is not just about you it's about the both of you so how can you help him to feel more sexy um d has a couple of different colognes and one in particular i'm really loving i think for the past year actually he probably gets a little bit sick of wearing it because I keep asking him to wear it when we go out. But it's like sex on wheels for me. It just, I love it. And so I keep asking for it. And that's the one I want him to wear. And same thing for his shirt. He might wear a button up shirt, but I want him to wear it maybe one button further down than he normally would, because that's me wanting him to feel and look sexy as well and invite him into the to the date because again it's about us not not just me we're a couple and you know it's really important that he feels as important more important than the guy that we're meeting because at the end of the day I'm I'm coming home with him and I'm spending my life with him so that's important Don't forget that your partner is needing to feel and look sexy as well. Now, sexual performance can be a little bit of a concern for people in the bedroom. I mean, you're meeting a new partner or potential sex partner for the first time and you at this point don't know what they like. They don't know what you like. I mean, generally, if if you talk to anyone in the lifestyle they'll say that sex the second time around with a couple or a new partner is better because at this point in time you're starting to kind of learn a little bit about each other so yes i mean it's a probably a concern for me i mean but the bigger concern for me is who initiates it all you know and that comes back to kind of just just being that confident sexual being and just going out there and having a bit of fun and not being afraid to kind of take that leap or that that first question and say look you know I'm keen if you're keen let's all go back and have some fun we have a glass of wine and see where it goes from there but it can be quite nerve-wracking for newbies the first time time we asked or i felt that i'd asked it was uh god it took me like 15 minutes to even build up the courage i felt like i was asking for my first ever salary increase from my boss at work i was so nervous but um you know because you just don't know what the reaction is going to be and i mean probably 90 of the time it's not even a big deal you're overth so much, but it just, in your head, you make this huge deal out of it. And it's really not. I mean, it's just down to, are they interested? And are you interested? Do you guys want to go have some fun? And that's as easy as it can be. But yeah, it's quite nerve wracking. So I don't know. And I'd love to hear some feedback, actually. If anybody else has some funny stories about the first time you kind of invited people back to your house or kind of how you went getting them back to your hotel room or you know in the bedroom even at a even at a swingers party or a swingers club you know taking that step from asking people that you've been chatting to for a little bit from the downstairs area to perhaps the playrooms upstairs you know I mean that first leap is it's kind of it's a little bit intimidating but after you've done So there we go. that you've been chatting to for a little bit from the downstairs area to perhaps the playrooms upstairs, you know, I mean, that first leap is, it's kind of, it's a little bit intimidating, but after you've done it, it's also exhilarating. So yeah, I'd love to hear people's stories about that one if you've got any. The other thing is obviously no expectations on the evening. So I'm talking a lot about asking people home and kind of having some fun in the bedroom and sexual performance, but also that's not a given. That's not an expectation of the evening. At the moment, Dee and I are going out to have some fun and have some great conversation with a really intelligent and fun guy. And if that leads to some kind of play and everyone's interested, great. If it doesn't, we get to come home and share each other regardless. You know, Dee and I are together. So there is no expectations on the evening. And don't put expectations on yourself or your partner or the other person. You know, I mean, maybe he is not ready to play yet either. Maybe you might be ready, but he's not quite ready. Maybe he wants to spend some more time you before you go to the bedroom so it's it's really important to kind of think about everyone's uh ideas of what the how the evening is going to go and and certainly not have any expectations on that and i guess the the most fun you've probably ever had is where you go to those parties and there is no expectation and it turns out to be the best party that you've ever been to. You know, so that's really, that's really kind of important as well. Funny that I say this though, because even though you have no expectations, you have to be, we call it a Boy Scout. So you're preparing, preparing for the, no, sorry, wanting the best, but planning for the worst or something to that extent. And so of course, even though we're not expecting him to come back here, you still have to clean the house and kind of prepare. So you've still got to prepare yourself. You've still got to maybe, you know, do some maintenance on yourself as well as the house in preparation for potentially this person to come back and play. So it's really funny. Dee was walking around earlier tidying the house with me and that came kind of popped into my head I'm like well even though we don't expect it we may want it but at the same time you've got a plan for it so it's a really funny funny thing because it's happened before where we've gone around and we've tidied and cleaned the entire place and then no one's come back here and it's kind of like well you know, you know, the house is clean, so that's a bonus and we get to play together, so that's another bonus. But, you know, we've got all this beautiful clean house kind of sitting here and no one gets to see it, so that's pretty funny. And I guess, you know, do you play in your bedroom is probably another thing that some people think about as well, particularly couples think about this. It's you bring somebody back and do you actually play in your bedroom is probably another thing that that some people think about as well particularly couples think about this it's you bring somebody back and do you actually play in your own bedroom if you've got a spare room that's great or maybe you've got a playroom that you can play in um or you know do you actually take them back to your bedroom so these are conversations that you probably might not think about to begin with but certainly you start to start to think about them after and it's something that Dee and I discussed early on was you know what happens when we bring back maybe even two or three couples to our house and you know that's kind of like that's our bed do we do we feel weird about that or do we feel okay about it and we decided it's fine we feel okay about it because the people that are coming back here are you know our friends and have you know we've spoken to and we feel quite comfortable with it certainly not just people we've picked up off the street or that sort of thing so we're okay with it but it's probably a good idea to have a chat about it to your partner you know kind of like where are there any restrictions within the house where you can or cannot play so I don't know maybe that's something to think about but tonight I'm excited I'm nervous god I just I don't know I'm I'm a little bit hoping that both Dee and him will maybe take the lead on some things um you know on the evening and just just in general um kind of keen on seeing how I go for flirting because that's something that I've been really trying to work on and you know I'm interested to see Dee's feedback on that actually because he loves it when I flirt um he loves it when I'm flirting with a guy or a girl it really doesn't matter he just loves it when I'm confident and when I'm flirting and it really turns him on And so I flirt. Um, he loves it when I'm flirting with a guy or a girl, it really doesn't matter. He just loves it when I'm confident and when I'm flirting and it really turns him on. So I think that I'll be able to judge whether or not he thinks that the evening's going quite well, um, just by his reaction. So I will kind of share that tomorrow and let you know how, how the flirting pans out for me. So yeah, so basically a podcast in two parts. I'm going to come back to you guys tomorrow. We're going to go off on our date now and I will let you know how the evening, the evening goes. Thank you for listening. I'll chat to you soon.