Cate goes solo again for this episode and chats about the recent London Swingers Club experience at Le Boudoir and hosting A Night At The Glitz takeover.
If you've been curious on some ups and downs of hosting an event, what happened at A Night At The Glitz, some lessons learned and more... listen in.
Afterwards, I get into what some of my expectations of our upcoming visit to Hedonism Resort are, recent dates we've been on and why you shouldn't say NO to some lifestyle experiences.
I finish up on some swinger questions that I've recently received.
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Transcript
You're listening to the Wanderlust Swingers Podcast with Aussie hosts, Kate and Daryl. If you're curious about exploring your sexuality or the swinging, hot-wifing and non-monogamous lifestyle, you've definitely come to the right podcast. Or maybe you just love travel adventures. Either way, we share our personal, sometimes juicy, sexy stories as well as Swingers Club and event reviews, interviews with other sassy people, and of course, our global swinging adventures. We try to bring you a look into the diverse lifestyle that the swinging and non-monogamous community has. We hope you enjoy.
Now let's get into the episode. G'day, and welcome to episode 156 of the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. Today's episode is about Le Boudoir London event and more. Right, we are currently at Hedo. This is pre-recorded. Oh my God, the illusion has been shattered. Today I'm going to talk to you about our recent London trip and co-hosting a takeover at Le Boudoir London Swingers Club. For a night at the glitz, we of course co-hosted with the fabulous Bedhoppers podcast. I'm going to share some of the expectations I have for Hedo. As I said, the illusion shattered. This is pre-recorded.
I'm actually there right now and our trip away. We'll figure out later if they'll actually come to fruition. I'm going to talk about some recent dates that we've been on and why you need to stop saying no to things. And finally, I'm going to answer some questions that we have received recently. So welcome back guys. Great to be with you again. It is another solo episode. And yes, I did also masturbate before this episode because I am nothing, if not authentic as I'm talking to you guys. But first this morning, I harassed Daryl in bed.
A few of you have mentioned how much you absolutely adore my would-you-rathers to Daryl first thing in the morning when he's woken up, as I do. And here is one that I took this morning. Hey, babe. Yeah? Would you rather I pack your bag for Hedo or you've got to give me give me 500 bucks i mean that's not really a question there's no fucking chance you'll pack my bag last time you packed my bag you forgot socks fucking socks who lives without socks you don't need socks fajito babe it's a nude resort yeah but we're going to canada after as well and it's going to be cold there and you won't.
I'll give you 500 bucks. Just leave me alone. Score. What do you think, Penny? Daddy got to give Mama 500 bucks now. The milk pack in his bag. Yay! Now I know what you're thinking. Aren't I a delight first thing in the morning? Yes, yes i am and thank you for noticing hey cultural tidbit since this is all about london let's talk about jolly old london i was trying to figure out what the percentage of condom usage was in the uk in london in the uk in england really rather hey ho cities and countries i know them all really difficult information on that.
There was a study done a little while ago, so it's in 2018, which is a bit of a Debbie Downer, but here it is. In 2018, there were 447,000 new diagnosis of STIs in Britain, a 5% increase on the previous year. The most common diagnosis was chlamydia, which jumped by 26%, the largest number since 1978. The study went on to further say that close to half of the sexual active people in the UK do not use a condom the first time they sleep with a new partner, according to a survey that was conducted by the Public Health England and YouGov.
The survey conducted more than 10,000 people included in the sexual habits and found that one in ten had actually never used a condom, with more than a third saying that carrying protection was a sign of promiscuity. So they're having sex, they're just not tarping it up. There you go, that's my London, UK, England, hey, know them all, cultural tidbit for today. But let's get into the episode. We're going to talk about the London event. We're going to talk about our takeover of Le Boudoir. I just love it. Don't you love that name? It's just the perfect name for a swingers club. Le Boudoir.
So big ups and big thanks, of course, to Le Boudoir Swingers Club in London City for letting us host at their event. They actually opened the doors two hours early just to let us in. So they staffed it. They all got there. They had the place cleaned and everything ready for us to go for two hours of exclusive use before they opened the doors to their members, which is a really big deal for a Saturday night. So I just want to thank the management and the owners and the team at Le Boudoir Swingers Club, first and foremost, for actually allowing us to host there.
We really, really appreciate it when people let us do those kinds of things. That's just awesome. And then, of course, I would be remiss to not mention massive thanks to our co-host, the Bedhoppers podcast, Mr. and Mrs. H. Of course, if you haven't heard them, go over and have a bit of a gander, have a goose, have a listen. So we spent a few days in London. We took the train over on Thursday to spend a couple of days getting around London, hanging out with friends, drinking, you know, doing all of those good things. Mr. and Mrs.
Not Your Averages were here actually visiting us in Utrecht in the Netherlands for a few days. And we took the Eurostar over to London. If you are traveling between Amsterdam and you're heading over to London, seriously, you should consider the Eurostar. It's four hours, but no fucking around at the airport with customs and everything else with Schiphol Airport here. It's actually a good, good deal. So if you guys are actually thinking about it, seriously consider taking the train. That's a little bit of a travel advice here from yours truly, Kate.
So we spent a few days in the UK before our event just kind of drinking and kind of hanging out and everything else and then that's always a good time but my question to you guys is how do you manage any sexual tension in a group situation pre-event when there's a group of people around and the reason I'm mentioning that is not necessarily to do with this trip in London but it was just something I was thinking as I was writing down my show notes for this is that when you've got a group of people together who are in the lifestyle, who are in a house together or in a hotel together or renting something together or traveling together, sometimes there's sexual tension, sometimes there's not.
And how do you manage that in a group situation?
Again, not necessarily about the London trip, but it just was something that I was percolating while I was writing down my show notes for this and I was thinking it can be a really difficult thing to manage whether everybody has got sexual tension and everybody wants to play but nobody knows how to pull the plug that's always an interesting one and it just kind of wait until the last minute and it's like hey ho probably should have shoot my shot but I didn't or whether there's no sexual tension you know and there is the expectation sometimes that hey we're all a bunch of lifestyle people surely PNV should be happening right now come on a little bit of PNV a little bit of PNV what's going on maybe some VNV some scissoring what's going on and sometimes there's just no sexual tension and then how do you manage that like is there an expectation from some people that you're with a group of people who are also swingers?
Should you be fucking or should you not be fucking? Just something I was thinking about. It's food for thought. I don't know if you guys want to ponder it and send me an email like that might be interesting, but let's get back to a night at the glitz. So the reason we called it a night at the glitz was because we wanted everybody to dress to impress, but on steroids. Basically that was it. So we wanted it to be just a really lovely environment. And I'm all for dressing up. I think it's a great way for people to put their best foot forward.
It's also a great way for us to represent ourselves at the Swingers Club. You know, if everybody who's coming along has gone to a level of effort. And actually that was something that the owner of the Le Boudoir Club mentioned to us as we turned up, like, oh, you know, a lot of people are really going to a lot of effort here to look lovely. And they had. As we were actually pre-gaming at the bar at the bottom of the hotel that many people were staying at, you would struggle to miss our group.
There were so many diamonds, sequins, glitters, three-piece suits, pocket squares, the works, jewellery, bam, bam, cling cling so much of that was there that actually we didn't need to kind of direct anybody into hey we're at the back end of this this bar area it was just very obvious walking in on a bar area on a random saturday night in london and finding you know some kind of like 60 people glammed up was just a sight to be seen really really lovely and i have to say to the attendees that came you guys really delivered on a night at the glitz and everybody looked wonderful everybody went to an enormous amount of effort and yeah you guys just looked dazzling to be honest i will also say selfishly this is why this is why i come up with these themes you see we did the m MTV Music Awards themes in Miami last year, which had a lot of people dressed up really nicely.
We did the Glam Night in Dallas for our Libertine events there in Dallas, and that was a really nice night where everybody was in gowns and stuff like that.
So really, you know, the reason these themes come out is it's just selfish because I like to see people dressing really well, and I like to see men in my own personal brand of manderay which is a suit there were a number of men there with three-piece suits on and pocket squares and just looking delicious and yummy like it was it was delightful for me I was just in eye candy land I can't I can't even explain it to you being around that many men in suits I'm just'm just like, sploosh, hello, hello, boys. That was lovely, really seeing everybody put in so much effort.
I did wear a big ear spiky spike thing with diamantes all over it and ear cuff, which got a little bit irritating by the end of the night, I have to say. You know, it's one of those things where it looks really good and then you get to three quarters through the evening and you're like, it's like a massive pair of heels where you just kind of regret your decisions in life.
it was fine it was fine it's fine so who came interestingly enough we had swingers from about six countries represented which was really nice to see sometimes when you do some of these regional events like more meet and greet events you expect that only people from the local area are going to come we actually had six countries represented we have people flying in a special shout out to our guys from switzerland and finland and everybody who actually flew in for the event from the u.s as well great to see and actually people coming over from wales and stuff it was really great to see so many people coming in and enjoying the event and meeting other people outside of perhaps their local area so we actually had 99 swingers on the wall we had 99 swingers on the wall we had two couples drop out at last minute so 90s yeah 95 swingers on the wall so we had about 95 people actually join us I don't know.
we had 99 swingers on the wall. We had two couples drop out at last minute. So 95 swingers on the wall. So we had about 95 people actually join us on the event, which was absolutely fantastic. And we took over the club and went to this kind of pre-gaming at this bar and then ended up taking over the Le Boudoir Swingers Club. We did arrange, because it was a night of the glitz, we wanted to kind of welcome everybody into this event. So some of the things that we did, we did the goodie bag deal.
So he gave everybody a goodie bag, which had like leather cuffs and stuff in there and a little badge and also lubes and condoms and all sorts of different goodies in the bag. And then we also did the drink on arrival thing. So everybody got a drink on arrival as they entered, which was really nice. And then we did a burlesque dance. Now I love burlesque. I think burlesque goes really, really well at lifestyle events. Interestingly, I was talking to the owner of Le Boudoir as we hired this burlesque dancer and he was like, you know what, I've done it before.
And people didn't really seem to give a fuss. Like, I don't know whether it's worthwhile or not, but I was adamant that I wanted a burlesque dancer and she did a great, she did a fantastic job. It can't fault her. She actually did the dance to the Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend, which was absolutely fitting for the glitziness of the evening, which I really, really liked. And she started up on the balcony, working her way across the balcony, down the windy stairs and in through the bar dancey area. And then I tasked Daryl, of course, to be her, I don't know, clothing boy, feathers man.
I don't know, little guy who was following her around, like picking everything up. I tasked Daryl to follow her around and basically pick up all of her pieces of the clothing. If you've seen a burlesque dancer, their outfits are worth thousands of dollars. Once you put it all together, it's really expensive actually to get a high quality burlesque outfit. So as you can imagine, as they're stripping things off, oftentimes they've got either a friend or a partner there who's picking up these items because they are so goddamn expensive.
And one of the things as you're moving through the club too, it's not like you're on a single stage when you're roaming performing, you're not on a single stage. So like you've got to find all the outfits. Anyway, so I tasked Daryl, I'm sure he was very, very upset by that. I tasked Daryl to follow her around as, uh, as she was removing pieces of clothing throughout her dance and throughout the club and pick everything up and take it back to the dressing area for her. So he, he did a cracker of a job actually. Uh, well done Daryl. So it was an absolutely fantastic night.
I really enjoyed hosting at Le Boudoir. I think it's a really great club for this kind of thing. It just has all these different areas. And you know what, as normal, we had another, maybe about another 30% of people who were brand new to the lifestyle and brand new to visiting clubs. And that is always a really big deal for me. So when you come along to something like this and you're brand new, it's nerve wracking and you put a lot of trust in like us as the hosts and the club being a decent club. There's so much level of trust that goes into that.
And I have always said over the years that the first few things that you do in the lifestyle can make or break your lifestyle journey. And what I mean by that is that if you go to like two or three shitty parties, you're going to be like, if this is what the lifestyle is about, I'm out.
Or if you go to two or three really great parties and meet absolutely fantastic people, you're like yeah this is what the lifestyle is all about so these first few pieces of those people's journeys they really matter and I don't take it how can I say this I don't take it lightly I take it very seriously I want to make sure that they're having a good time I want to make sure that the people that they're meeting are on point that they're good humans and going to have great conversations don't get me wrong I'm not promising anybody that you're going to get laid you're coming to these events there is absolutely no promises at all that you're going to walk out of there getting laid but what we do try to make sure of and try to have a level of expectation around is that the people that are at these events are going to be like top quality good quality humans and i think you can see that kind of coming out in some of the chats beforehand so we ran a discord for all the attendees that had signed up before the event and everyone was like getting to know each other and chatting in the discord we had different sections for like a who are you so people could post a photo of themselves and introduce themselves we had like a little sexy chat going and you can kind of see throughout that pre-event chat the types of people and the types of are getting made.
And again, it's always really lovely to see the fact that people are just being good humans. So I digress. So 30% of the people that attended were brand new to the lifestyle, brand new to visiting clubs. And that's just awesome. So if you're out there and you're listening to this and you are fairly new to the lifestyle, or maybe you haven't even taken a dip into the lifestyle yet, I do say go for it. But when you're choosing your event or your club or whatever to go for, try to find something that seems like it's within your tribe.
Try to find an event or a club or a theme or a takeover or a resort group or whatever that looks like, wherever you're going to take your first dip into the lifestyle water. Try to make sure that it is with people or with a group or at an event that you think matches your style. Because those few events that you're going to attend at the first time, like I said, are probably going to make or break your lifestyle journey. And if you pick something that, you know, I'll give you an example. Say you're a little bit introverted.
Say you love going hiking on the weekend and you love playing board games and you're a big music person, but you're introverted and maybe you want your journey to be a little bit more about the social side of swinging social sexy you sign up for a group or an event that's all about the gangbang gangbangs and orgies that obviously might deter you from attending any more events like if that is your pace over here and you've just gone something that's extreme in comparison to your journey expectations over here you're going to probably not have a great time and you're going to take that away with you and you'll be like no this is what it's all about so try to find something that kind of aligns to your journey and what you're actually trying to achieve easier to say harder to do but you can go on forums for that sort of thing look up previous reviews talk to other attendees find it from your local people you know on local sites if they recommend anything and if you're actually on a dating site and you're starting to connect with people too that seems similar to you, ask for their recommendations.
Hey, we're thinking about going to a club. We're thinking about going to an event. Have you guys been to anything before? Because if you're already talking to another couple that seems to match your energy and your style, chances are they're going to have a group.
They're going to have an event or a club that they're going to recommend you that they've been to that's pre-vetted if you will to be very similar to your journey so that's what i would recommend uh if you guys are heading to your first event or club what i will say is that later in the evening so we had the club ourselves for two hours of exclusive use before the doors opened to the rest of the members and at first when the doors opened at 9 30 to everybody else i was like oh there's barely anybody coming in think 10.30 rolled around and I was still like, huh, it's mostly still us.
This is really interesting. Thinking to myself, we kind of got the run of the club at this point in time. You know, a few people have kind of come in, maybe 10, five or 10 couples. And so at that point at 10.30, I was like, actually still pretty, still pretty going pretty good here. And then I think around 11.30, 11.30 or so hit. And I was like, oh, okay, here we go. So a lot of late arrivals to the club there, not uncommon for people to kind of come in a little bit late, get started in the evening pretty late as, you know, it's like your 7.30 dinner kind of thing.
So it did get quite, quite busy in the club. I think by like 11.30, it was definitely kind of standing room only situation.
The playrooms were absolutely packed both upstairs and downstairs in the dungeon area if you haven't seen the club that i'm talking about please go check out our youtube i will try to remember to put it in the show notes because we did do a walkthrough this club and uh that way you can kind of understand what i'm talking about when i'm saying the burlesque dancer moved around the balcony or like the dungeon space go check that out but there was definitely no space in the playrooms no space it was kind of like standing room only so that was kind of really good to see now sometimes things go pear-shaped when you get a group of people together and there's so many people together there's you know the percentage chance of something going a little bit pear-shaped it's high like you know i'm not going to sit here and be like everything is rainbows and glitzy because it's not.
Sometimes things go wrong. And definitely during this event, things did go a little bit pear-shaped. So let me tell you about those because, you know, I want to give you guys the full, real, authentic rundown rather than just pretending like everything was fantastic. One of the things I try to do here is really share the good and the bad. And the reason I share the bad is not to deter anyone. It's not to, I guess, you know, diminish the success of the event or diminish the people at the event or anything like that.
The reason I share this with you is to hopefully share some lessons learned and maybe talk through some of the things that may happen if you go to an event, even one that's well run, even at a club that is world-class, sometimes things go a little bit pear- pear-shaped and i'm going to talk about that so there's two main things that kind of happened that i wanted to share and one of them is that there was an altercation that occurred during our event between our people so actually these were our attendees because as i said before later on the club did open up to other members but these were glitz attendees.
And that was that there was an altercation. Now, if there is an altercation on site, here's what I want you to do. Violence is never going to be the answer. All right. If somebody's up in your face, if somebody's disrespecting you, if somebody's being a bit cheeky, if somebody's maybe breaking consent rules, whatever it looks like that that altercation has occurred, violence obviously is never the answer. And the reason I say that is because the person who is being violent is going to be the person who's removed and banned from all future events, regardless of who started the altercation.
And what I mean by that is somebody's up in my face saying shit to me, and then I just end up losing it. And I got to take a swing at this person. It's going to be my ass who's kicked out and it's going to be me who is banned from the event. So if there's anything that happens at an event, here's what you do. You tell a host, you tell a staff member, you tell security. That's why these people are there.
So an example of this is that an altercation occurred, the people were removed from site, you know, and afterwards we sent kind of an email like, hey guys, like I just, you know, sorry to hear, basically you know we can't have you at future events regardless again of what occurred and had the situation turned out differently of like look this person's getting up in my grill or we had a disagreement or like i said consent you know we're there as hosts the staff are there the security is all there for a reason you know if you are ever in a situation where you're at an event and you don't feel safe, you feel like somebody's violating your consent, you feel like someone's disrespecting you, please just go and tell the staff.
Don't try to deal with it yourself. Even down to the point of like at the beginning yet, you might try to diminish or rather you might try to stop the situation from occurring and kind of like slow it down a little bit, maybe like calm everybody down.
And don don't get me wrong you can probably do that for a little bit and like play a bit of a negotiator in the situation and try to you know stop the situation from happening or remove yourself whatever but if it gets to a point where you think it's as heightened past the point of no return please go and see a staff member go and see security go and see the host that's there for. Every swingers club has these people, every swingers event, every hotel takeover, swingers resort. They exist for a reason and it's so they can help you if anything happens. So that's one of the things that happened.
We also had somebody be sick at our event and that's never fun for the club, the people who have to clean up after it. It's never fun for the rest of the attendees who are like, what is happening? And it's certainly never fun for the person who is sick. Unfortunately, when that happens to you, you feel like crap. So that happened. Not much you can do about that. I mean, limiting alcohol intake is a big one. Making sure you're eating before you attend an event is another one. Making sure that you're hydrated, drink enough water. We've all been there.
I'm definitely not sitting here on my porcelain throne. That's a good one. That's a good pun. I'm not sitting here on my porcelain throne. I have definitely been sick at a club before. I've overdrunk, never in public. Don't get me wrong. I've never done it in a playroom like what happened on New Year's Dallas a couple of years ago. I've never been sick in public like that before, but I've definitely been sick in the bathrooms or at a house party or a club. I can't quite place it, but I know that I definitely have over the years, and I know many of our listeners have, many of my friends have.
Shout out to J&K from that couple next door. So it is something that happens. It's really, really embarrassing when it does. Like, you feel horrible, and you end up up going home and then you feel horrible the next day. And then you also feel like you've just wasted the event, unfortunately.
So, you know, I mean, as, as again, easier said than done, but do try to look after yourselves before you go to an event, make sure that you're well rested, make sure that you've eaten, make sure that you've hydrated yourself before you kind of get stuck into the cocktails, because unfortunately just does put a bit of a dampener on your night but also on the staff's night cheers guys for cleaning that up and sorry to the staff actually there was one more thing that i did want to mention is that some things whilst going pear-shaped some things go awesomely as well and what i thought was a really awesome of this event, aside from everybody just looking glamorous and aside from people laughing and communicating and dancing and frolicking and fucking, to be quite honest, aside from all of that, which is really, really lovely, like to, to get a group of people together that just have a good time.
And you look around the room at one point and you can see people connecting and dancing and smiling like that shit is awesome that is one of the best feelings in the world to know that you're bringing people together it's just fantastic but one of the surprising things to me that i thought went awesomely at this event and unexpectedly awesomely was that we invited some select single guys so the boudoir does not normally allow single man especially on a saturday night you have to go on special days generally it's hot wife event so this was a rarity we actually negotiated with le boudoir and we said hey you know if we're going to allow single women we want to be fair and we want to also be allowed to allow single men and we were kind of coming from the angle of if single men aren't allowed then we're probably not going to allow single women either.
We're probably just going to keep a couples only because that's what I do with my events. I try to keep them very, very fair. I don't like it when single women are allowed and single men aren't. I try to keep it very, very fair that kind of it's couples only or it's couples and singles, right? And that's just whatever it looks like. And it's couples no matter how how you identify, all of my events have always been, I don't care how a couple identifies, you're welcome to come to our events. So backtrack. So we allow five single select men to come to our event.
And all of the five men were fantastic. They were well-spoken, well-dressed. They mingled in with the group exceptionally well. I had remarks from couples afterwards that they just thought they were highly respectful. A few of them definitely played with some of the couples or the single ladies that were there. And it was just a really good time. And I think it's these sorts of things that reinforce the fact that not all single men are dodgy or unwanted.
You know, these single men were absolutely the kinds of single men that I would have in any event that I run they were like I said well-dressed courteous respectful fun interactive just good humans regardless of what happens to be between their legs and that was just really really unexpectedly great to see and like I said I know that quite a few of the single men played with couples and singles so that's always lovely to see the fact that they're not just you know a pariah sitting standing in the corner and kind of you know not having anyone talk to them so I was really impressed by, but I was really impressed by the couples that also welcomed them and, and didn't, didn't make out like they were an unwelcome addition to the event.
So again, shout out to all the people that were there that, uh, you know, just included them like regular people. It was really, really lovely to see and a shout out to the single guys. So I don't know guys,. It's always hard for me when I do see these events that allow single women. And to get me wrong, I understand why they do and I understand why sometimes they don't allow single men. But for me, I would just rather have it, you know, one for all. I would either want to keep it couples only or I would want to, if I'm opening it up to single women, I'd want to open it up to single men.
That's just how I roll, but I understand the appeal of why people want single women there and not single men. Yeah, but it's definitely, it's definitely not for me. I'd rather see some fair, fair, I guess, policies surrounding, surrounding that than not. And to the people out there, I guess that, that do host other events and stuff, I understand again, why you might think, oh, you know, but it can be a lot of drama.
Yeah, I get yeah I get it it can be I mean these five guys were absolutely fantastic but are there guys out there or and you know single women for that matter or people out there who can create drama absolutely but then it's up to us as event hosts and event owners to manage and deal with that you know I mean and deal with it as we would any other person on site whether that's a couple acting up a single lady acting up doesn't matter any other person individual on site that's acting up you kind of treat them the same way as as you would a single man okay here we go wrapping up on the night at the glitz I'm going to talk about lessons learned I'm going to talk about this because I want to kind of finish up with some of the things that I've taken away from the event aside from the fact that London knows how to dress well, and I probably need to get some better clothes.
One of my lessons learned is that there's a reason why private areas and food and beverage minimums exist. So we had everybody meet optional at a bar before the club opened. So kind of a pre-meet before our actual meet.
It was an optional thing that people could come to if they wanted to, to kind of know walk over together and feel like they were getting uh you know a group of people we had about i can't remember how many people actually were there 50 or 60 people actually turned up at this location and we told the bar a month in advance we said hey we're going to come along and one of the things that we didn't want to do was put down money or spend a minimum. Do you know what I mean? Because then it really inflates the stress on the event, and also it's a big risk for the hosts to put that money down.
You know, if it's a $5,000 minimum, $10,000 minimum, $15,000, I mean, Palm Springs was $62,000. It is a lot of money for the host to take on board risk for that food and beverage because if it doesn't get spent, it's on us, right?
But a lot of bars do require that because obviously you're taking up space like I totally understand why they do it so reach out to this bar we don't want to put any minimums down we just want to book a space an area and the bar at the bottom of the hotel happened to be significantly large like I was looking at photos online and I thought hey we could fit up the back without really disrupting the rest of their general bar and I look, a bar in a hotel on a Saturday night, probably not going to get a shitload of people coming in.
Like people will be out on the street, you know, out visiting other bars, bespoke bars, like all the wine bars and cheese bars and stuff like that. So I was hopeful that that allowed us and they did. And a month before we reached out and we're like, hey, here's the people we got.
Two weeks before the event, we reached out again, like just reconfirming numbers a week before the event we reached out again like hey we are coming we are definitely coming here's the numbers here's what's up the day before the event i was staying at the hotel and i went down to the bar and i was like hey i'm kate i've got this many people coming together tomorrow want to make sure you've definitely got this area and the manager was like yep we're onto it come on the day they had three staff to host the entire place they had two other group massive groups of people and then us so they were understaffed and they didn't really do the service that they should have done so lessons learned in this is that there's a reason that private areas exist and minimums exist and it's because you get the good service and i kind of spoke about it before my other lessons learned is just don't assume that single guys are going to ruin a party because they not.
They're as likely to ruin a party as a single lady. They're as likely to ruin a party as a couple. Just a fact. Let's talk about Hedo expectations. So we are, as I said, this is pre-recorded. We're physically at Hedo. Right now, as you're listening to this, as I'm between your ears, we are at Hedonism Resort in Jamaica. And we've never been here before. We've never been to Hedo, and we've been to Desire three times. I've been to Cap D'Arc in France once, and we are off to Hedo for a week.
We will be, we're at there at the 1st to the 8th of October, and we're heading over to Canada, and here's my Hedo expectations. I'm putting them down now, and I'm pre-recording this because I want to see actually what the outcome is, and then kind of compare. My first expectation is a two-week connection vacation with Daryl. That is so simple, I know it seems. But this is a vacation where I'm not working. I can't tell you how much I have phoned it in on this vacation. And what I mean by that is that we're not going to work. It's just going to be pure joy.
I'm going to do some reading, partying, dancing, just hanging out with good people, meeting good people. Daryl and I haven't been on a vacation together where we haven't been doing something else for quite some time. And I'm really, really keen to do that with him. So that is one of my keto expectations is a complete reconnection and resetting with Daryl. And I just so happen to be in a sexy environment and I just so happen to be hanging out with good friends. Today is also our anniversary.
So we are technically, I don't know why I said technically, we are actually five years married today, 13 years together. Today is our anniversary. And so it's just going to be really nice to kind of celebrate that together and spend a full two weeks together and just kind of reset, re-evaluate and see kind of, okay, where have we come from? What are we doing?
I was looking at photos earlier because I put up a tweet today and I was kind of going back through our adventures and like traveling and our first trip to Thailand and our our first time me first time seeing the snow when my first time attempting to snowboard and my second time i fell down and then the subsequent like 30th time i fell down just kind of going back through those photos and i was really excited to sit down with daryl during this nude swingers vacation and just kind of send spend time together and kind of reconnecting which i know sounds very fucking odd to people because you're going to be surrounded by like four or five hundred nudists and swingers.
But I'm going to reset the clock on that. So I'm going to be, I'm really keen to see what that is. And dare I say, I'm also hoping for at least two sexy connections and we're there for seven days with two travel days on, you know, like the travel day and a travel day and it always sucks. So technically, you know, meh. There for seven days, I want to try and have at least a minimum of two sexy connections. So that's going to be great. I'm really keen to see what it's like to have single men. And as soon as a resort, that's something new for us because at Desire, they don't allow singles.
So I'm going to be really interested to see what that's like. At Hedo, they also allow day passes. Again, they don't do that at the resorts that we've been a part of. So that's going to be super intriguing just to kind of see how I guess that plays out. And the other thing about Hedo is that it's, you know, there is a high percentage of nudists that go there in comparison to like a desire. So it has a high percentage of nudists versus lifestyle people. And I'm also kind of keen to see how that plays out. But I would at least like to have two sexy connections in the time that we're there.
Don't know what those connections are going to look like could be an orgy could just be another couple could be a single uh who knows but that's what I'm going to say so again I'm going to report back on the next episode hopefully you know I would like to come to you and say like yep did it bought the t-shirt wore a lot of sunscreen also had the two sexy connections my lesson to be learned about this this though, as I was sitting down thinking about my show notes for today, is that lifestyle vacations are what you make them.
Just because you're going to a lifestyle resort, just because you're going to a hotel takeover, just because you're going to a lifestyle club, does not mean that you have to do the quote unquote expectations on what that entails. And I think you can write your own rules here. Honestly, I do. And I think with your partner, you can kind of chat about your expectations, what your desires are, what you want to get out of that, regardless of, like I said, if it's a resort, a club, an event, hotel takeover, whatever that looks like.
I absolutely think that you have the opportunity here to set yourself up for some success. Talk about what you want, create that wing partner.
You know, I've already told Dar Daryl what I'm after but I'm going to reiterate that to him tonight probably have a glass of red wine actually now that I think about it there's an open bottle in the fridge and I am going to kind of share that with him because when I'm there and perhaps if I'm being a little bit introverted not putting myself out there I'm like umming and ahhing do they really like me are they really interested in me I want him to know because I want him to push me and I want him to say, Hey, this is what you want to like, don't walk away feeling like you didn't get something out of this trip.
So that's what definitely I'm looking forward to. Like I said, lifestyle vacations are what you make them. I have decided at least two sexy connections. I want to spend some time reading. I want to spend some time partying, dancing. And like I said, I have fucking phoned it in. I don't even have a single and I'm not exaggerating theme costume for this. That's how, that's the level of no fucks given that I am bringing to this trip.
Like I just want to be there, be myself, be out of work mode, have a good time, have great conversations with my friends that are going to be around me and just, just spend some time resetting and kind of getting back to bare roots of the lifestyle. That's what I'm really keen to do. All right, next up, let's talk about my recent dates or our recent dates rather. So we recently, or I was recently talking to an account on Reddit and it was about the review that we recently did on a club here in the Netherlands.
And they reached out, he reached out on Reddit and was talking to me about the review that we recently did on a club here in the Netherlands and they reached out he reached out on Reddit and was talking to me about the review that we did and turns out we actually live in the exact same fucking city and about 10 minutes away from each other which I just thought was funny we then shared our dating profiles and we're kind of keeping in touch and you know one of the things here that we really want to do is create a local community meet other couples in in the local area, create a community with the ability to just be like, hey, what are you doing on Wednesday night?
Like, do you want to go for a drink or do you want to go to this comedy club or whatever it looks like? That's something that we've been craving, I guess, for a while now since we left Australia. And so we really want to create that here. So it was really nice to figure out they actually live in Utrecht, which is where we are. Now, we actually reached out to them on the weekend at one point, I think it was like a Thursday night. And we said, Hey, like, what are you up to this weekend? And they invited us around for dinner and drinks at their house.
Now, if you've been listening to us for a while, you may know that we decided a very long time ago that we do not do dinner on a first date ever at best or at most, we will do finger food and nibbles at a bar at a stand-up bar and that and that's it and the reason why is because we had a few dinners back in the day where we just wanted to like leave and you can't so we have agreed and that's kind of been one of our boundaries I guess that we've created over the years is that we just don't do dinner on a first date it It puts you too much into the hands of, I guess, fate and whether or not these people are good people or what.
And then you're kind of stuck there dealing with shitty conversation over a shitty meal. And you're just like the whole time I just want to leave and go home and pour myself that glass of tasty, tasty red wine. So we didn't normally do that, but they invited us around. They seemed lovely. And we thought, you know what, let's try something different.
different why the hell not so we go and they are some of the most fabulous gracious hoes who put out a wonderful spread that would rival our own we were sitting there having like the the charcuterie and everything and i was like actually because you know i'm all about that and i was thinking this is this is so this is a solid board and it would rival our own i'm not saying that there's a better i'm not is better. I'm saying it would definitely rival. But it was just great. So they've got a lovely home. They're lovely people. They love to travel.
Holy shit, that's so fantastic and I can't wait to go to Iceland based purely on their recommendations. And we just chatted for some hours over some drinks and it was just lovely. We drove home.
We didn't play, but we were definitely keen to catch up with them again, wink,udge nudge and my lesson learned on that is like don't say no and put yourself in a lifestyle box you know we put that boundary in place because of some shitty dinners that happened and we just kind of since then just ruled it out i guess it's similar to coming across a few bad single men or single women and then being like oh all singles in the lifestyle are shit house it's just not the case and so normally we would have said no to something like that and tried to maybe say, hey, let's maybe go for a drink at a wine bar instead.
But we embraced it. You know, it's always a bit weird for us to turn up to somebody's house on the first date, but it was just, it was a perfect evening. It was just fun, easy. They are lovely, sexy. I'm the shortest person in the group, which is just mind blowing for me. And definitely want to see them again. And I really feel like they're not only a great lifestyle connection, but they just seem like genuine good humans. And so that's my lesson's line, guys. Like normally I'd say no to that. If I'd have said no, I would have missed out on this opportunity to meet these fantastic people.
So, you know, even if you do have these, I guess, boundaries that you put in place because of whatever reason, sometimes we need to re-evaluate that and be like, you know what, fuck it. We should probably not put ourselves in that lifestyle box. So that's my lessons learned there. All right, last but not least, I've got some questions I'm going to rattle through here very, very quickly that we've received over the past kind of like month and a bit that I have just kind of kept for an episode. The first one's interesting because I kept this one.
I received it a couple of weeks ago, but I kept, I have just kind of kept for an episode. The first one's interesting because, and I kept this one, I received it a couple of weeks ago, but I kept it because we were about to travel to Hedo, is how many toys should I pack for a swingers event? How many toys should I pack for a swingers event? I mean, fuck, that's a hard one. Like spitballing, I'm going to say three for no other reason. No, for me, I probably generally tend to take a butt plug. I'll probably take a vibrator. I might take a butt plug tail. I could take a dildo.
I could take like a double ender dildo. It depends on what you're in or like a, um, a little whip or something. It depends on what you're doing. Like if you go to a swingers club, obviously you probably, obviously maybe you're not going to roll out, you know, 15 different things. If you go away to a lifestyle resort for a week, you might want to take a couple of different things.
What I would say is like, get into your bedroom, figure out the toys that you would generally use on an average week, and then maybe pack one extra, pack a holiday toy, something that doesn't come out as often, which might be a double end, a dildo. It might be a whip, whatever, something that doesn't really get used. And then add that to the arsenal. Arsenal, because I take a lot of butt plugs and tails with me when I travel. Right, next one. Here we go. What do we have? Oh, okay. This one's an interesting one. I don't know how you guys are going to feel about this.
I'd love to hear what you guys think. I might even put it up on the Twitter poll here. Is it okay to be a single and bring a friend to an event that is couples only and pretend to be a couple?
So you are a single female, single male, and you a brand new an event like hotel takeover I think no I think no it's not okay because if they've got that policy in place and you're trying to circumvent that policy to me it's it's not starting off on the right foot it's inauthentic you're not being honest and I would say no it's not okay if the policy is around the fact that you know it has to be two people like say it's a house party for example you go to a house party and they're like okay it's you know we want to have an even number of men and women like we don't want it to be too many extra men too many extra women if it's in that circumstance at that house party then you could tell the host like hey i'm a single guy and i have a single girl who's my friend and maybe sometimes she's my fuck buddy can we come together you know in that instance like that's totally fine but i think the intention here to turn up and kind of pull the wool over the host's eyes and pretend to be a couple that's not on so i'm'm going to go with no for that.
Again, it depends on the intentions of the policy. If you were to do that, say at one of the events we host, which are couples only, I would be pretty pissed off. Because like, you know, if you're not, like that's just not the way it goes. Right. Let me see. Next one here. Is it okay to jerk off, rub off, rub one out or masturbate in a playrooms or a club? Fuck. These are some funny questions. Is it okay? Yes. I mean, I think it is. Again, consent, right? Would you walk into a bed and stand over the bed while two couples are playing and start masturbating on top of them? Fuck no. Just no.
I mean, consent still plays a part here. If you're a voyeur and somebody is being an exhibitionist in a group room with the intention to be an exhibitionist in a group room and you are pleasuring yourself while having a bit of a wall watch, I think that's okay. Should you then spray cum all over the walls? Fuck no. Not a great, not a great idea. Please don't spray cum all over the walls or bring wet wipes if you do. No, I'm just joking. Just don't do it. So do I think it's okay? I do think it's okay with the caveat of like, you know, be sensible.
Like if I was in a group room and you started to like cum and masturbate and jerk off over the top of my face, I'd be like, oi, dude, what the fuck? If it's in a private room, semi-private room, if the couple clearly looks like they don't want to be watched or engaged with, don't do it. If it's a more intimate setting, feel free to ask and get consent for that kind of thing. You know, would you guys, this is so fucking sexy. I really want to watch you guys. Is that okay? It doesn't need to be a, can I watch? Hey, hey, people fucking on the bed, can I watch?
It can be just like, man, you guys are so sexy so sexy you've gotten me so aroused i would absolutely love to stand back and just watch you just be a part of each other and just be super sexy together and would you mind if i watch you know something like that last one on my list before we finish out today's episode is what is the best club in europe for young swingers i mean europe is a big place man yeah like i'd to say, what are you Eastern European? Like, you know, whereabouts in Europe actually are you? Because there's just so many great clubs in Europe. That is a hard one to answer.
And I think I'm going to have to actually not answer this one to be fair. If you want to write to me and let me know where you're going, a couple of countries, I can probably help you out. What I will say just just generally speaking, is that in Europe, I found the population of swingers to be slightly skewed younger than other countries around the world. I think that the average demographic of swingers in Europe are younger by about a decade, if not more, than swingers on average that I see perhaps in places like the United States of America.
So I would say just generally, you're probably going to fit in a little bit more here in Europe than you would maybe if you're looking for that demographic specifically, if you're looking for people around your own age, more here in Europe than you might do in the United States of America. But do let me know what countries you're going to because damn, that'd be a broad question, son. Right, big thank you to all of our patrons. Really appreciate all of your support.
And if you guys would like to join us, support the podcast and get behind the scenes, especially for our Hedo trip, I'm going to be doing daily updates in Patreon for our Hedo trip. Check out the show notes today. It's about five bucks a month and you are supporting our endeavors and getting behind the scenes with us. So check that out. It's patreon.com forward slash swinging down under, but also the links in the show notes. And if you are outside of the USA or England, I really want to hear from you. I want to interview you. I want to get up all in your business.
Please email me, email at wanderlustswingers.com. I'm wanting to do a series of swinging around the world interviews and get your cultural views on the lifestyle as a part of wherever it is that you live or travel to or swing in.
So please do contact me outside of the usa or england email at wanderlostswingers.com but otherwise guys that has been episode 156 bit of a mixed bag here from our trip in london le boudoir going through lessons learned hedo expectations recent dates and q a i really appreciate you guys hanging in there with me and for another episode of wanderlust swingingers and we'll see you again soon as we are going to probably review Hedo and hopefully come back and tell you about all the sexy time that I actually had there. Okay. Bye guys. Thanks for listening.
