Want to send us a message? Lubes, Lubes, Lubes. Women….which one do you choose? We review all the base type of lubes for your safe swinging pleasure: water, glycerin, silicone, petroleum, and oil. You will learn about the ingredients, pH, and how this plays a VERY important role for the female vagina. Quality ingredients will reduce your STI risk and bacterial vaginosis (BV)! This review should be shared with everyone, not just with your swinger friends!SHOW NOTES:Is Your Lube Expired?Lube pH Matters!Osmolality - Oh Yeah.Vaginal Epithelium LayerIngredients Water, Glycerin, Silicone, Petroleum, OilTypes of Lube Pros v. ConsReferenced Articles:42 Different Lube s pH Value and Osmolality (National Center for Biotechnology Information): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3161103/table/T1/#tf20Are parabens safe?: https://sexualityresources.com/ask-dr-myrtle/sexual-health-events-3-menopause-womens-urologic-issues/are-parabens-safeCervical Vaginal Mucosal Epithelia: Blaskewicz CD, Pudney J, Anderson DJ (July 2011). Structure and function of intercellular junctions in human cervical and vaginal mucosal epithelia . Biology of Reproduction. 85 (1): 97–104. doi:10.1095/biolreprod.110.090423. PMC 3123383. PMID 21471299.Cute Little Bunnies No Longer Have To Die For Your Lube: https://www.vocativ.com/news/437121/fda-personal-lubricant-bunnies/index.htmlHyperosmolal vaginal lubricants markedly reduce epithelial barrier properties in a three-dimensional vagina Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
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You're listening to Swinger university with ed and phoebe bringing you an educational podcast about swinging here are your hosts ed and phoebe good evening hi ed hello phoebe welcome to another sexy episode of swinger university how to pick your best lube and this topic is primarily geared towards women obviously their male counterparts as well but it is from the perspective of a woman and the vaginal health of a woman. I am extremely passionate about this topic, and I did a crap ton of research. I have two things to say about this.
One, I'm thankful that we're actually recording this episode because...
Because I think- two things to say about this one i'm thankful that we're actually recording this episode because it's taking forever i think we i think we predicted this episode coming out about three months ago yeah and it just didn't happen longer it was supposed to come out before december yeah didn't happen yeah then it was january and the move and yeah lots of over planning well it's interesting when you start down the road of research and you go oh and you know becomes a can of worms it's like a house remodeling project and you you key in on one thing and then you you start with one thing and then you read the article and you're like, oh, well, what does that mean?
Three more things. Right. And then you start going and then you eventually start to link everything together and then you have to consolidate and shrink it down to where it's nice and appealing for everybody.
yeah yeah and the second thing that i want to say about this is yeah as you said this is most important to women because honestly from a man's perspective if it's wet and slippery we're all good i know but women's vaginal health is really important and interestingly enough it's complicated it's so complicated and it's starting to drive me ape shit honestly no really it's some bullshit it is like it's crazy i know what's involved with this, we had no idea mean no we we had a little bit of an idea yeah like we knew before we started the research that putting sugar glycerin in the vagina probably not a good thing right well i figured that out when i was you know dating and using that but you know you but it's so much more oh yeah it's crazy how much more and guess what you're all gonna know you're all crazy it is all right to use ed's little quirk let's get into it let's get into it so all right today we're going to unpack all the great information about the types of lube your health and safety and why the most popular oil-based lube coconut oil is definitely not your best choice many many hours have gone into researching this topic to give you a well-balanced and informative podcast.
I have included all the sources in my reading notes. And when I say many hours, I can most assuredly say I've literally spent more than 60 hours reading and researching this topic.'s insane most of the data comes from scientific sources and i've included information from some of my favorite products and websites so first a bit of insight and i apologize i am gonna do most of the, it's my topic. You know, a man has his place in the world. Silent and behind the woman. Silent and behind everything should be. I mean, behind the woman. You were behind me the other night. That felt really good.
Oh, it did feel good. I like the front, too, though. I know you do but i like behind behind is good i woke you up at six in the morning with a little surprise tripod all right according to the who personal lubricants are regarded as low-risk products and are subjected only to limited regulatory controls. This is why there are so many products out there that require your due diligence. Like anything, just because it's on the shelf at the store or being sold online doesn't mean it's good for you. Right?
I mean, I love Lucky vitamin aisle just like any other person oh yeah but it's not really that good for you corn syrup in everything vitamins that don't do anything there's yeah your grocery store is filled with a bunch of crap sure yeah you have to be a selective smart savvy shopper so you also might be interested to know that most lubes are not tested on human beings but my skinny pigs and the vagina of a rabbit which happens to have a different ph value because the rabbit's vagina is designed where their urethra passes through the vagina so all these tests that they do aren't really very accurate we're gonna get into that so it's all kind of crazy i know i was like what a rabbit has a urethra in their vagina it's one way to flush the system out that led me down a whole other path i was like what i was like i gotta check this out but i'm not gonna let you all can research that by yourself but that was a fascinating side all the vaginas of the world.
Right? I was like, what? Okay. Here are some simple things you may want to check. Has your lube expired? Wow. That seems like you check your food, you check your medicine. Why not your lube?
Never even about it it really does matter and slickwood states that theirs last about a year opened and three years unopened so even though they last a long time they degrade and you could potentially get a skin reaction or find that the lube doesn't work as well if the chemicals are prone to changing over time wow so you just have to be careful a lifespan is also shortened when it's open to air and you've got your dirty little fingers in there that never happens i know you have heat sun and some brands combat this by using a pump like uber lube will combat the contaminant factor by the pump that they've designed into their bottle that way all the bacteria from your hands hello COVID-19 is not being you know transferred into the loop right well almost anything exposed to the air changes oxygen changes things yeah oxygen reacts with metals and changes the metal over time.
So with iron, it turns to rust. With aluminum, it oxidizes. And apparently, even with lubes, air changes it. Yeah. So, you know, you just got to be careful. Some lubes have certification.
european economic area the eea does have a certification for lubes they mark all their lubes as ce better grades are marked ce followed by a four number code and those are considered grade two thoroughly tested and approved for actual use in the vagina something that the u.s of course does not do we're still behind in everything and it drives me apeshit so if you want to get a good lube and you want to get good sunscreen you gotta buy it overseas and honestly that's where i get my sunscreen okay can we talk about october for a second I'll see you next time.
honestly that's where I get my sunscreen okay can we talk about October for a second oh my god yeah I've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from Montreal to Boston during the peak foliage season. I'm super excited. And honestly, I'm really nervous. Yeah, it's kind of a version of like a swinger TED talk that we're going to have to do. Oh my God, I know.
And more importantly, if you know the brand, it's LLV, Luxury Lifestyle Vacationsations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great the bottom line is we want you there with us it's 310 couples and like all their vacations they book up fast they really do their vacations are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us.
Which is funny because you've got lube that's not certified for actual use in the vagina. Yeah, I know. Because it's not that important. You'd really be surprised through all the research that I had done. I'm going to get on my little soapbox here. You know, it's a man's world. Of course, we have Viagra and that's super important for men. But God forbid if we were to actually do some real high quality research on vaginal products for women and put in some great research studies as to what's really effective for women. Right.
on vaginal products for women and put in some great research studies as to what's really effective for women right of all ages and not just effective from a lubrication standpoint so don't don't misunderstand what we're talking about all of these lubes from coconut oil all the way to the stuff that we're actually going to recommend will lubricate right the problem is what are the side effects right exactly that's the problem exactly so what is the problem phoebe well before we break down the differences between lube bases, a little bit of education. Ooh. So I'm going to school you, Ed.
All right. I'm in the university. I'm here to be edumacated. pH matters. Is your lube pH friendly? Look for specific words on your lube, vaginal pH matched or pH balanced. Your vagina is naturally acidic with a pH range from about 3.2 to 4.2.
However, your vaginal pH can change throughout your lifetime and it's usually higher than 4.5 before a person has their first menstrual period and after menopause so if you don't have the right ph lube it can actually cause dryness there are charts on ph levels of water-based lubricants from the Medical News Today, Smitten Kitten, and the National Center for Biotechnology, which we're going to post in our notes and references. And I encourage you to check out those charts as it will greatly help narrow your choices of lube on pH alone.
pH pretty straightforward you can usually read it right on the bottle they're labeled that way which is pretty good but most of them don't well and and that's the thing if you go into your average grocery store they won't say anything about ph it's just this is slippery right and most of those lubes, and we'll call out a couple, the KY jellies, the Trojan lubes, most of the lubes that are off the shelf are glycerin-based. If they say water-based, they probably have glycerin in them. And they don't even mention pH. I'm not sure if they say water-based, they have glycerin in them.
I'm not 100% positive about that because a lot of the lubes that I am reviewing are water-based. They don't have glycerin. But the opposite of water-based is typically something that's silicone-based. True. So most of the lubes that you'll find in the grocery store are glycerin-based. True. And they don't say glycerin-based. They just say... It's just probably the second or third ingredient. Right.
Listen, if you're going through the aisles and you're checking to see whether it's got a carb count a protein count you should be checking your lube to see if it has a glycerin count it's you're putting it in your body yeah and we're gonna talk about why glycerin's so bad and the warming ones oh my god horrible really really not bad i mean really not good okay so past ph we're going to start talking about another really cool term that we'd never heard of i know and it's awesome and it brings brings all of high school chemistry back to mind i know it's so cool i feel so you do use the things that they teach you in high I'll see you next time.
It brings all of high school chemistry back to mind. I know. It's so cool. I feel so... You do use the things that they teach you in high school. I know. Osmolality. What? Think back, Ed, to your junior high science class. Oh, I remember that science class. Did you... Oh, did you have a hot teacher or did you just have hot... I did. She was a hot redhead. She was a... Really? You're... Wait, okay. I have an old story. She was an older woman. I'll see you next time.
class did you oh do you have a hot teacher or did you just have hot did she was a hot redhead she wasn't really you're wait okay i haven't she was an older woman that doesn't stop you it's a thing but yeah she wore like tight blue jeans wait okay so your science teacher was a hot red-headed woman? Older lady, yeah. Glasses? Of course. Did you have a little thing? I won't mention her name to protect the innocent. Did you have a little thing? That's not me. Did you have a crush on your teacher? I didn't, but in retrospect, she was pretty hot. I had a crush on her.
I mean, I would have done her now. Mr. P. I won't say his name. I know it. It's very clear in my head. I know exactly how to spell it in high school. Oh, amazing. Blue eyes. I'd leave class, and then I'd come back to class just to ask him more questions that I really didn't have. Oh, you're such a naughty girl. I know. I was so bad. He was such a flirt, though.
He was a he was such a flirt though he was a flirt oh yeah he was a flirt I'm sure you were a flirt yeah well I don't know I don't consider myself a flirt oh you're a flirt you are a flirt for no no not at all oh my goodness okay so osmolality ed osmolality spontaneous movement of one set of molecules through a membrane to a different concentration of solution in order to equalize the two or the simple diffusion of water from one concentration to another across the membrane or your salt balance this is really important which i will go into next yeah anybody who's got a water filtration system that uses reverse osmosis, or if you put something that's got a lot of salt in it, women are familiar with this.
You drink really salty food, you feel bloated. Why? Because you start to retain water. That's why I took ham off the grocery list this week. I know, but I i know it's good but the salt causes your cells to absorb the salt and the water floods into your cells to try and dilute that salt and that's why that's what osmosis is right I'll see you next time. dilute that salt and that's why that's what osmosis is right here's why we sail on virgin it's adults only no kids screaming at breakfast no family buffet lines just champagne at noon late pool parties, and people who actually want to be there.
The vibe? Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how have fun fun, let's just say virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous. No wonder breadcruisers here, just your people. So if you're using a lube that has a hyper... osmotic.
That's it, hyperosmotic that's it hyper osmotic properties not something your vagina is normally exposed to it will deplete the moisture from your cells leaving them dry and actually sheds the outside layers of your epithelium leaving you with an increased risk what kind of increased risk you might ask ed well here's the thing we just did an episode on stis and it turns out that when your cells start shedding you've worn down those cellular barriers and they're more prone to viruses.
Things like, oh, you know, HIV, herpes simplex, genital herpes, BV, bacterial vaginosis, for those who are not familiar with that. And once you have bacterial vaginosis, BV, that opens you up to a whole other increased risks like HIV-1, gonorrhea, trichomonas, I think that's misspelled, trichoboniasis, and urinary tract infections.
so your natural health of the vagina is amazing i mean when it's healthy it's not dehydrated it doesn't have any weird chemicals in there and your cell layers are healthy it can find off some pretty nasty shit it's when you introduce weird stuff that compromises the integrity of you of your health and ingredients that have high concentrations of hyperosmotic properties are uh-oh spermicides things like non-oxynol 9 glycerin, ding. There's our five-point word from earlier. Glycerol. Propylene glycol. Polyethylene glycol. She gives me all the long scientific words because I have this.
I'm very cunning linguistically. Do that what's coming? The long and short of it is if you've abraded your skin, so think about it. You fall down, you skin your knee. What happens sometimes? It gets infected. Why? Because the barrier of your skin is designed to fight off infections. It's like armor. Right.
So if you break down the armor of the vagina the skin those cells that protect the vagina and wrap and envelop you bad shit starts happening right and later in the podcast i'm actually going to talk about how the inside of your mouth and your vagina doesn't have that extra protection layer, like the skin on our arms, legs, and basically the rest of our body. So we don't have that extra layer of protection. So it's really important to be conscious of what you're putting inside your body. Your vagina, It's important for all of us. I like the way you say that. All right.
So ingredients that have high concentrations of hyzer. Gosh darn it. You know what? I think it's the alcohol you gave me tonight.
I'm trying to lick her up to take advantage of her later i was so good at this earlier ingredients that have high concentrations of hyperosmotic properties are your spermicide blah which is what ed said but those warming lubes tested in a study actually killed the cells of your vagina wall thank you petrochemicals yeah nothing like a nice mobile one oil to but it feels so good but i'm killing everything well maybe it's like drugs you know feels so good but it kills off your brain cells don't kill your vagina please so most commercial personal lubricants have high osmololities they're around 2 000 to 6 000 mosm per kilogram according to the who this in comparison is far far higher than the female vaginal secretions of 250 to 380 MOSM per kilogram so here you have lubes that are like thousands hundreds 10 times yeah of what these lubes have so this is not okay and the who recommends that the osmolality of a personal lubricant should not exceed 380 mosm to minimize the risk of your epithelial damage all those nice healthy squishy feel-good cells inside the vagina which are important to protect i know so your vaginal the third thing of our education little section here the vaginal epithelium layer.
What the hell is that? Well. The inner lining of the vagina consists of multiple layers of cells that help prevent pathogenic microorganisms from entering the body. That's that protective layer. but we're talking about infections getting in. The cells of the cervix and the vaginal epithelium generate a mucus barrier, that's the slippery part for those of you who are not familiar with it, in which immune cells reside.
Yeah, so it's really important because as we mentioned earlier, it protects you from infections, BV, STIs, and disease transmission is rarely transmitted across an intact and healthy epithelium. This comes from frequent exfoliation of the cells, low pH, and immunity in the tissue. So when your pH is thrown off, this affects your natural barrier to disease. And in addition, according to several scientific papers, the osmolality is high and it can cause vaginal and anal epithelial damage.
Like you can destroy it's not good no it's really it's it makes me angry well because they're basically throwing stuff on the market to make a profit without the consideration of what the actual health implications are i know for the women who are using these products i know so professor charlene s de zutty put it this way because we're made up of salts sugars and proteins our body naturally wants to main that equilibrium we talked about that earlier it makes sense when you introduced a sugar-based lube, which is essentially a candy bar.
equilibrium we talked about that earlier it makes sense when you introduced a sugar-based lube which is essentially a candy bar in your vagina don't do it right it sounds fun but don't don't do it cucumber might be better your body's going to react by releasing water from its cells to dilute the sugar.
And so then your cells shrivel up and they actually look like a raisin under the microscope yeah it's it's pretty bad i know so all right don't put sugar don't put salt don't change the ph it's a it's an ecosystem you have to protect that ecosystem it's it's like um you know when you take antibiotics you know the doctor will always say oh make sure you eat some yogurt or take some acidophilus after your course of antibiotics or if you've been on it for a while usually one course of antibiotics isn't going to mess you up depending on the person right but it's the same thing like you and you use lube much more frequently than you use antibiotics yeah and honestly one one evening one swinger evening out using the wrong lube is going to jack you up well especially, especially because if you think it's a hotel takeover party, you've got three different cocks inside of you, a whole bunch of lubes, random fingers.
Right? Who knows what else? I know. Wait, who knows what else? I'm just saying, you know. Wait, what? Somebody's got a candy bar. They were having some little snacks. Oh, no. Who knows? Oh, no. No. But, you know, you're at risk to begin with, and then you're introducing really bad lubes. Right. You're just adding insult to injury. I know. I know. So your ingredients really do matter. The high quality ingredients matter, especially to those who are prone to genital infections like yeast or bacterial vaginosis and parabens.
The World Health Organization, WHO, calls attention to preservatives like esters of P-hydroxobenzic acid aka parabens that can cause irritation and sensitization in some individuals and parabens are also thought to act as an endocrine disruptor and can mimic the effects of estrogen oh that's gonna mess you up but i was doing some additional research just the other day because i thought this topic was done and i was researching i was researching and i was like what so i found this other thing so however there are more prevalent estrogen exposures you can reduce in many areas of your life like soy plastics clothing cosmetics sex toys cars shampoo and shower gels so you're sticking a car in your what right if you're reducing parabens in your life it's important to in you know look at the link that we provided in our references.
And, you know, just choose higher quality pH balance lubes that don't use parabens. There's a lot of negative things about out there about parabens. They're not the best thing, but you really have to be. It's like selective, right?
A drink every once in a while isn't harmful but if you're drinking all day long seven days a week yeah you know what that's probably going to mess you up well and the long and short of it is if you're out there shopping for those organic vegetables from whole foods that have never been touched by pesticides and groomed by hand, picked at the ripest, why would you put cheap lube in your vagina? Right. Or oil-based lube in your vagina when it's not designed to have oil shoved in it. It's not natural. Types of lube base.
we've got your water we got your glycerin we got your silicone your petroleum and your oil so water and or aloe-based lubes have a ph and an osmolality value typically they have some of the best ingredients without the harmful low grade chemicals that interact and disrupt your natural flora balance and cause irritation or spark off an episode of bv and all the water-based products we're going to talk about are either free of most of all or the following, your petrochemicals, your parabens, and your glycerin. So, they also tend to be eco-friendly, organic, and vegan, and all are pH balanced.
Which is great, because if you're vegan and you're eating pussy, these lubes won't be violating your dietary constraints. Absolutely. Which is really important when you're eating. Water-based products. One of the ones I use and love is Good Clean Love. It feels great. It's great. It's a woman woman-based company i'm pretty sure it is woman-based and or all women owned i think is what i want to say they have two lubricants plus a fertility lubricant and vaginal care plus a feminine hygiene line of products. I use their products. I use their products. And I've used them for a few years now.
And honestly, I haven't had an issue. My body doesn't retaliate with these products. So, honestly, I just keep on using them. They're great lubricants. They don't dry out. They don't get sticky. I love them. They feel great. I haven't noticed anything. You tend to use maybe a little more. Some of their bottles dispense quite a bit. So you have to be careful how you dispense them. Yeah, there's two that they make.
One that's a gel and one that's like a liquid the liquid one squeeze gently in the heat of the moment when we've had a room of a bunch of people having sex i know the liquid based one probably not the best choice because all of a sudden you realize you're lubricated from about the fingertip to the waist yeah yeah it was a lot everybody's soaked yeah because it just comes out yeah it comes out but the gel one kind of sticks in your palm and you can yeah control the flow a little bit better right right works really good so initially i was like freaking out because i'm like no that's my expensive lube but then i was like you know what whatever i'm contributing to the health of every pussy in this room and if so that's it then so be it because you know yeah i mean she could be like three people away but the lube comes out so quickly and so easily.
Everybody's lubed on the bed. That's not true. We pass it around. Oh, that part. We pass it around. We have applicators for this. I carry one with me all the time. Lube, applicators, applicators.
So we have tried and used Sliquid and they have an extensive line they've got their Sliquid Naturals and their Organics and their Naturals line has about five ingredients in it actually only has five ingredients in it and it's definitely something for everyone to explore I'm going to explore it a little bit more because when i was doing this research i i when we first started using their product they didn't have this much right and i when i went into their website recently i was like whoa yeah they just had one product at the time yeah they've got a ton, you know, I encourage you to check it out, try it, see how you like it.
Sutil by Hathor is formulated with seven simple botanical ingredients and is a lube. I'm also anxious to try. I haven't tried that one yet. I volunteer. All right. All right. And Aloe Cadabra. I want to say i tried this we tried an aloe one we've tried aloe based ones but not this one okay this one is nsf certified as a menopausal and postmenopausal vaginal moisturizer and 95 organic aloe vera with a vitamin e oil plus other natural ingredients i I do want to test this one, too. We need to get on that. We need to try a bunch of lubes. Yeah, we need to order some of these.
That's on the to-do list, actually. Baby, I'll be your dipstick. You might test her. Yeah. Yay! I have highly specialized instruments for these kinds of tests gotcha all right i will take you up on that okay so as i mentioned earlier go to smitten kitten it's website they've got this chart on the ph levels of water-based lubricants again we posted that in our notes it is amazing it's it's beautiful colors it's super easy to read and it's very clear so that'll help you narrow your choices if you want to start with focusing on ph first. All right.
Glycerin glycol based lubricants used as a humectant, retaining water and emollient. And when it comes to individual ingredients that cause vaginal pH imbalances and aggravate the skin of the vulva and the walls of the vagina. Glycerin is the patron saint of irritants. And food for yeasts. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So it is the forefront of main offenders.
And, you know, what the confusing part is, glycerin retains water and it but it doesn't retain the water in you the reason it retains its humectant capability is that it pulls the water from your vagina actually drying you out so it makes it more moist because it's dehydrating you. Right. Instead of bringing water to the vagina, it's pulling all the water out of the cells of the vagina, making the lube wetter because it's dehydrated you. Yeah, it's effed up.
so since the concentration percentage is not required to be listed on the product imagine that this is according it's effed up so since the concentration percentage is not required to be listed on the product imagine that this is according to an article by the who it can actually start breaking down your mucous membranes depending on the concentration why you know you ask like well okay i use glycerin on my face why is that you know not an issue i use it to hydrate my face Thank you so much. Right.
Now, if you're really into yoga, sex in the tub it sounds sexy and it is sexy yeah but it's so bad you get the chlorine in there and the bacteria and the water and oh god it's and the heat oh so bad so if you're gonna have sex in the rain don't do it in the hot tub, but do it out in the rain. Yeah, maybe. Perhaps on a floating duck in the rainforest of Costa Rica. Yes, a purified, oh, what is it, where they bottle those, you know, purified natural glacier waters, you know, prior to all the... PG water for your vagina.
Yeah, water that's waters you know prior to all pg water yeah for your vagina yeah water that's you know been melted from 3 000 years ago before we had cars and air pollution right that water yeah that'd be perfect yeah there you go all right so glycol which is glycerin and alcohol is an irritant and because of it it significantly increases susceptibility to herpes simplex virus 2 your bv and it kills your lactobacilluspitus, the dominant bacterial species in the vagina. That gives you a healthy vaginal barrier. Gotta love that glycol.
Well, and specifically, don't take shots with your vagina because alcohol in the vagina is not good i guarantee you if you try that your girl is not going to be happy with you it's going to burn oh god wait what was that oh was it a movie we were watching they were doing like vagina shots and don't put lemon juice on your vagina right they were taking uh shots of tequila and using don't do it the vagina the the pussy lips as the the lemon and the salt yeah salt probably okay it would be all right but not not lemon juice they said that really stung you're gonna get punched i'm just telling you punched i have to see that though i i would dare someone to do that i would watch that that'd be funny i know if only you wait what am i saying i'm all about vaginal health but but it's entertaining so if you are not naturally well lubricated due to many reasons avoid the bad stuff for your vagina and you know often you can't get all the information you need on the product label and that you know they're a known irritant you know whatever they put on there is not gonna you're not gonna know so you know do your research and avoid avoid those products those ingredients well hence the product right because silicone based they're not gonna have a ph and osmolality value because they're inert.
Right. They're also not a good vaginal moisturizer for vaginal dryness or dyspareunia. according to a couple studies I read which I put in the notes. Which is always good to read. I know. That was hard to say, disparunia, but now I got it. Disparunia. Disparunia. I love, I love, it was a challenge practicing some of these words. Yeah.
You know, you're not a scientist right or a doctor with a phd right and so here i am reading these scientific articles and i go i go five words in and i'm like oh long word oh what's that look it up okay got it read three words oh what's that word look it up took me forever to dissect some of this stuff i felt like i was you know a paralegal all over again right you know once you once you get it get the lingo it's this language in your head and you're like yep yep i know it and then you know you got it Thank you. Once you get it, get the lingo, it's this language in your head.
And you're like, yup, yup, I know it. And then, you know, you got it. But I can speak lawyer-ese, but I can't speak science-ese. Some of those scientific papers are crazy. Oh, yeah. So anyway, it was fun. So, Dyspareunia hey there podcast listeners you've been tuning into our episodes but have you ever wondered about the steamy details of our adventures or maybe hungry for some sultry erotic stories well guess? We've got something special just for you. Our exclusive Patreon page. It's like a VIP pass to the saucier side of our world.
So if you're ready for an exclusive behind-the-mic experience, head over to our Patreon page now. Trust us, this is where the magic happens. See you there, patrons. Silicone-based lubes are also really bad for toys, especially the really good toys, which, by the way, are silicone.
So a liquid silicone will actually start to break down your very expensive very good silicone based toys and honestly if you take really good care of them i've had a really nice dildo for oh god years before i met you they last a long time 15 20 years they're not cheap no it was not well built and i take good care of that it takes good care of you too and it's in very good health that toy is very appreciative oh my goodness one of the good things about silicone based lubes is it's safe for condoms it's not going to break them down keep this in mind we didn't mention this with glycerin lubes but glycerin lubes are also safe with condoms yeah but remember However, there's more.
So far far the two lubes we've mentioned are all safe with condoms yeah uber lube one of our favorites we've played with it a little bit yeah it's made from pure silicone uh-huh it has a tiny bit of vitamin e for smoothness it's free of parabens preservatives and petrochemicals it's it's not sticky it's very slippery but not in kind of a wet way but in like a slick way yeah it's hard to describe it has god people use it in sports too like they'll they'll advertise it on their website you know it's good for sports for anti-chafing right but ed really likes it because it's it's weird it feels like it gives you a little extra friction.
Yeah. Stiction. Stiction. But it doesn't build friction. Yeah, it doesn't build up heat, but it kind of, it's not slippery, but it slides. Yeah. so it's it's moving but kind of just hmm it's not, but it's not as slick or as slippery as like the water-based loops. And you kind of like it because it gives you a little more, a little more grab. Yeah. A little more grab, texture, textile feeling. Yeah. So we've played with that. We like it.
Um, I honestly haven't gone back to that to play with that for a while because I was having issues with all these other lubes and I was a human Petri dish and I was experimenting on myself and trying a bunch of stuff. And so I hadn't basically reset my body yet to, to test this lube out for a period of time to see how i reacted so it's latex compatible and it has a ph value of 4.6 and like i said their bottle. Yeah, it's a nice pump. Their pump is designed to specifically deliver just a little bit with each pump versus like the Slikwit, which is more of a gloop, like a big glob that comes out.
It's the right proportion for the amount of slipperiness.
with silicone lube you don't need a lot you only need like one or two pumps and it's probably good it's like a very thin layer that that gives you just a little bit of slipperiness they say you can use it on your hair and you actually used it on your beard the other day because here we are in covid and we're just letting all of our hair grow long not me but ed is i am i'm all i'm all mountain so how was it done on your beard did it was good yeah yeah make it softer kind of tame everything down it it kind of worked like a good hair product and kind of slicked down. Huh. Yeah. Good.
Maybe you should use that some more. I'll try it some more. Mm-hmm. Maybe we'll experiment both. I'll lubricate my beard, and you can lubricate your vagina. Maybe at the same time. Yeah, you lubricate my vagina with your face. And then you apply it. I like that. That's a good applicator. I'll just put up a couple pumps down there and you just rub your face all over it. Okay. Okay. All right, I'm just going to say this. Petroleum-based.
Not safe for vaginasinas if you want to you want to stroke yourself go for it yep use the vaseline whatever penis skin can handle all kinds of crazy stuff i know guys have masturbated with the wackiest shit i mean somebody's out there with a belt sander. I'm sure of it. Oh, my Lord. But don't put it in the vagina. It's not good. It's really, really not good. It's not even natural. I mean, this is basically an extract.
It didn't go into your car to be burned as fuel they made it into a jelly it's bad it's not even good for burns like don't put petroleum vaseline on a burn it's really really bad stuff it does hold in moisture so if you've got chapped lips sure yeah rock it but but don't no petroleum in vagina in the vajayjay okay oil-based everyone's favorite coconut oil it's natural it's the miracle it's antibacterial all right i had a real issue with this in the beginning we've had some experiences with yes oh my goodness okay so this oil does have some antibacterial properties and some studies show it also works as an antifungal.
Since it's an oil, it has no pH value, but it's not safe to use with latex or polyisoprene condoms, latex dams, or toys. It will degrade them.
So so not only is it bad for your vagina it breaks down the condom so those people who are playing safely wearing condoms and you use coconut oil it's counterproductive you might as well just poke a hole in the condom and yeah just why waste your yeah why waste the money on the condom it's ridiculous you're gonna break it down so many parties with with this stuff and then people are passing around the dark jar and they're like dipping their hands in it dirty nasty fingers it's gross they just had their fingers in someone else's vagina and they re-dip in there and then and i'm like um but it's antibacterial soon it'll be okay it's not okay no it's really not it's not and one of the really cool things that we've seen at a party is somebody spills the coconut oil all over the furniture and the carpet it's not dispensed with the pump it's not designed for those let's say extreme games that most of these parties turn into ruckus party gotta have a pump folks it's gotta have a lid on it if it's just an open container it's gonna spill and guaranteed that cleaning i know that exact party i need a good party about that that was a good party except for the coconut oil i felt so bad their carpet oh my god i was like i had a hard time leaving going are you i i asked them are you sure can i help with that because i was not the person that knocked it over but i felt terrible leaving knowing that they had this big mess to clean up i was like oh i felt pretty good at the end of that party but a little bad about the coconut oil oh my goodness and they're no longer in the lifestyle so that's a bummer would they say uh 18 months 18 months theinger.
Beat the statistics. Many scientific articles that I read will state that it has these antibacterial properties. But they're, you know, highly dependent on how processed the oil is, whether it's ingested, inserted, or topical, and the types of bacteria it affects. I have not found a study that has a large enough case study testing the effectiveness as of vaginal lubricant and safety.
And more specifically, if it's antibacterial, there are good bacteria that live in the vagina and this is the key thing you're shoving antibiotics into a bacteria haven the vagina has good bacteria things that prevent yeast infections think bacteria that prevent disease and you're shoving antibiotics to kill all of the good bacteria too so antibiotics are not discriminatory oh like you can go no you can't you die and you're okay it doesn't work like oh you're hiv i see you coming i'll take you out bam bam of course that's a virus but i know points the same yeah so in conclusion you know what i've read i you know honestly i don't use it and i definitely don't use a community jar for everyone's dipping their fingers into it that's just gross it's like the jar of peanuts at the bar right everybody's got their dirty fingers and you're like what that sounds tasty so if you're gonna use it use organic virgin, and dispense a small amount into a separate jar to use and refresh every six months.
That's the recommendation. Dispense with a spoon or a clean finger, but no double dipping. So, I mean, you know, it's up to you to use it. I would not recommend it.
I personally didn't find any scientific articles on what ed said about it you know being killing off good bacteria and bad bacteria which is actually ed why i took that out of there that was that's me but you know i mean that's my own hypothesis i i couldn't find anything to support it so i didn't put that in there but you know but there's also not a lot of studies that support using it or not using it and there's not a lot of studies that support all the other good stuff or bad stuff that's on the shelves so you know use some common sense here typically my vagina does not excrete oil so i'm banana and that's not going to put an oil up there don't do it there you go so anal play you know if you're in that little side note here um there are different lubes for that and we'll cover that in another podcast but in the meantime you should know that your rectal ph is different at a 7.0 pH and your mucus levels are different too.
So you should research your lube for your rectum if you're going to have anal play because it's different.
And you're irritating all of those tissues just like you're irritating your vaginal tissues by having sex especially well at least maybe it's just the way we have sex with that many people there's a lot of activity down there there's some there's some work going on oh you mean the the orgies yeah well you know that's i mean that's like some pro sports angle there i mean you know the the occasional oh my husband you know and i did once a month i you know it's probably not gonna you know be that bad but you know if it's if it's something that you do often and you really enjoy it i really enjoy it we don't do it often enough so let's get on that ed we need to get some more special loop oh twist my arm okay so the more often you do it you you know, you want to be kind to your body.
Exactly. Yeah. All right. So, you know, I wish we could rely on the FDA to stamp all these lubes as approved like they have in Europe.
But instead, you know, of using our own vaginas as petri dishes you know we just have to kind of figure it out as we go and rely on research and studies that have been done which are few and far between yeah there is hope though as more companies like good clean love are winning approval from the fda for all or some of their products passing without animal testing yeah i actually read up on that it was pretty interesting they um they had to they had to go through a pretty long process and put some quite a bit of money up front to propose a different method of testing and have that approved by the fb fda and that you know ended up panning out really well for them so it it was impressive they're i you know i like them they um their mission and their ethics are really good.
Spot on, yeah. Please check out some of the lubes we've reviewed here. Obviously, experiment as much as you can with as many lubes as you can. Or sex. That's terrible. And remember. You can actually reduce. Your STI exposure. By using quality. And safe products. Plus have a happy. And healthy vagina. Because a happy and healthy vagina. Will be. Available. Yeah. Which is really good. That's true. Alright everyone. Be safe. And keep swinging. Keep on swinging. Woohoo!
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