Want to send us a message? Men are pretty easy creatures, at least when it comes to sex. We have strong opinions about many things…but when it comes to sex, we enjoy it, however we can get it. We are here to set the record straight from our experience. SHOW NOTES: Sounds you makeLooking silly Unattractive featuresNot looking sexyBonus: Types of sex Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. And they're amazing. They're a little weird at first, I will say. They're quite strong. They can be, yeah. And it can be cold if you don't have the heated one, which we don't. So in the winter, it gets... It's a little brisk. It's quite the morning wake-up call. Oh my God, it's so cold.
So I highly recommend the heated one. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program, bringing you sexy lessons for sexy fun. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. Hi, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Hi, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Today we're talking about how slutty men really are. But to be a bit more specific, there are a few things that men just don't pay any attention to. Or at least, you know, it's not on their list of turn-offs. But before we get into that, we have a few business items that we need to jump into.
To our newest patrons, Boyd Crowder, Andy, Ed, thank you so much for your support. We finally caught up with all of our recorded episodes so we can get you into the episode like we said we would. There's a Costa Rica update. There are only 12 rooms left. So if you want to join us in June 2023, go get your deposit in, get your tickets. The link is on our website right in the top menu. I've been very quiet. I just drank this huge glass of water. I didn't want to swallow. And so I was like, oh, God, I can't say anything, but I really need to swallow. Yes, you do. Yes. And more of it.
Our faces in your face. We're pretty close to coming out in public. Go ahead. Yeah. We started filming episodes that we will release on patreon um and this episode well we didn't get to this episode being recorded on tape because we're still waiting for some of our lights to show up right here yet which is why the patrons help which it does help because we're basically converted the podcast room into a mini studio podcast room so yes multiple camera angles we're gonna have cool lights we're we're going most of the way in a little more than. Yes. And we have some cool new neon. We do.
We have a... Oh! Leave it as a surprise. I guess we should wait. There's a little significance with this particular thing. Mm-hmm. But we'll get into that. Yes.
So stay tuned for new exciting things all right some of the things that men don't give a about are from conversations we had with other swingers and a few are just ed that may just be me i i admit if you agree with ed let us know in the comments email us or call us and you can even leave us a message which would be super cool we'd love to hear your voices because you get to hear our voices all the time exactly okay baby what's number one oh my god you're gonna make me read it queefing yeah pussy f. I don't like when that happens. That funny little burp noise.
I'm okay if it happens with you, but I mean, somebody else while we're, like, especially if it's an orgy. I don't know. It's not my favorite thing to happen. Well, good news, ladies. It's not a real fart. there's no order that comes with it it's just a funny noise and honestly if you're the guy that it's happening to it means my dick is inside of you i'm really not caring about the noises that are going on other than that yeah the slurping noises maybe the moaning and all that other stuff, 100%. And this kind of goes into the category of funny, which we'll talk about.
Wait, do you think I'm going to get in trouble for making an almost sex sound? Will this get our podcast banned? Oh, I don't think so. This episode put down? No, it doesn't work that that's that's only most other social media where i know if there's any hint of anything and and i am still on i think this is a month now oh they forgot about you yeah they're never bringing you back now no ed is officially banned maybe don't know i wish they'd either just ban me and get it over with or let me back. But that's a little thing. Body noises in general.
Ah, so the creaking or funny noises that you make with your mouth or like the creaking of the bed.
Oh, I was like, not like your joint your joint i mean creaking of your hip we do know a few ladies who've been hip replacements but um you you know generally i'm not listening critically to those noises in other words that funny noise that you make when you're being fucked whatever that noise is imagine it in your head play it back in your your memory auditory realm okay the guy who is fucking you at the time that that noise is going on loves that you're making a noise any noise any noise matter doesn't matter what it is which is why i put what if there are no noises like none now i have to come up with an answer i know uh because you've i you know i think it depends on if it's the throwing the head from side to side in clearly physical sexual agony even though there's no noises coming out yeah i'm all right with that's great okay but if it's the totally lying motionless like maybe i didn't get consent because she's making that weird rigid kind of uncomfortable thing yeah like that would be troublesome that's bad yeah that zero feedback okay yeah there's something wrong oh yeah i get that but but you gave two very broad ends of the yeah the ruler the spectrum so no i you're you're more towards the like noises i definitely do enjoy noises yeah that is for sure Whether it's dirty talk or just, yeah, noises.
Grunting. Oh, we already did that one. The O-face. Yeah. I have actually heard of women who were concerned about what their face looks like when they orgasm. Mm-huh. I mean, I don't get it. I was. Because. I don't know what I look like. If I'm having sex with you. It feels weird. And you're having an orgasm. I'm not thinking about what your face looks like. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm giving you an orgasm. That's what's on my mind.
And or is it time for me to come too because maybe that's what i'm thinking about but yeah yeah they're everybody's got a weird noise when they orgasm and a weird face so just embrace it it's just great yeah awkward experimental positions now this is a funny one this one i actually read about that someone had had thought this was a a thing for men in other words women like to make the best impression and if if they think that they're making a bad impression by being goofy or silly because they tried some awkward position okay i get where that's coming from but scenario is i walk into the bedroom and a we're having sex because your next statement is B, I want to try a new position.
No guy ever in history has ever said, nah, can we just, well, actually there might be some really boring people that say that. I just blew my own joke because missionary, you know, I actually kind of enjoy it, but no guys oh man I don't even know how to say that without it being wrong as I'm saying it. Well, anyway, I think you get the impression. Men like different positions, most of us. Yeah. Yeah. Roll with it. Have some fun with it.
You want to try something kinky and, you know, one leg sideways and whatever all right i'll try that too different things feel different with different people there's this one guy that was doing the side fucking yeah with me so like he it was basically looked like he was humping my leg oh yeah yeah where he straddles your bottom leg uh-huh and then and that felt amazing based on his body structure and equipment he had and i was like that is a good position i like that one myself so i get to hump a thigh too i like humping thighs mismatched boobies this is a thing yeah there are women who are very concerned about their breasts and I'll see you next time.
humping thighs mismatched boobies this is a thing yeah there are women who are very concerned about their breasts not being 100 symmetrical oh yeah i could see that maybe if it was a really extreme difference but i've seen a lot of i've watched i've seen a lot of boobs in porn and posted and you know what a little variation almost all women are not perfectly symmetrical unless you had a really really good doctor right because they make it exact because they got paid to get it right the first time yeah definitely the the natural boob thing first boobs boobs second see number one boobs guys are just happy to have boobs one bigger than the other big small whatever yeah there are obviously this is a generalization some people have very specific preferences about breast size i do not no i think you're kind of unique in that way okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah i've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats.
This ship, the Crystal Symphony, is classy. Butler service for every single room, Michelin rated restaurants, full spa, clothing optional, sensual playrooms, like everything. Theme nights and international DJ.
So it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great the bottom line is we want you there with us it's 310 couples and like all their vacations they book up fast they really do their vacations are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us yeah i like them big or or small or pointy i kind of like those ski slopey ones oh yeah i think it was all the 70s porn i watched oh yeah cellulite yeah it's nice you don't see it anymore i can i have the cellulite goggles please because be you know it's it's I think that's I it's nice you don't see it you know i can i have the cellulite goggles please because be you know it's it's i think that's i can imagine that there's a spectrum here and there's probably a really extreme example or there's some jerk out there that just goes oh no that's just intolerable perfect no dimples whatsoever right they're just they're a they're just dimples b there's so much Thank you.
intolerable perfect no dimples whatsoever right they're just they're a they're just dimples b there's so much else to look at that we're not paying attention to that other dimples and hills and valleys and those two very large things right above the thigh which typically has the cellulite that buttocks in your face is what we're focused on and everything else so yeah we're not looking for blemishes we're not counting moles it's what about my hairy legs or slightly fuzzy legs also not not a big turn off for me um I even had a thing for a hippie in college that lived down the hall in the dorms.
And I don't think she shaved almost at all, but there was something, there was something sexy about her. Something sexy. Well, what about, like, what if you don't shave your hoo-ha see also for me that's so unusual we actually just finished a an email to some listeners who've written to us and we were talking about this exact thing, which is the differences. There are so many shaved, naked vulvas in the lifestyle and porn that, you know what? Finding a nice, hairy snatch is hard to find.
And when, you know, when I find a woman with a landing strip or some fuzz going on i i have to like reminisce a little bit oh are we 70s reminiscing and is snatch a word from the 70s i don't know it's a good movie though i know oh my god i'm dying we just going to use every euphemism for colloquialism. Okay. Fuzzy legs. Lingerie. Do you really? I mean, is it worth it? Yes and no. See, I'm conflicted with lingerie.
And I think most men are conflicted with lingerie you'll look really good in it right like you pick lingerie because you know you look hot in it right so this is like tailored to you kind of thing this is like the outfit you really want to be wearing so that's nice to look at but you know a lot of times we just want to get you naked so it ends up being a little bit of a what's the politically correct amount of time before i take the lingerie off because she worked really hard putting that outfit i know or he did he may have yeah he may want her to strut around a little bit but see that's why crotchless lingerie is great because you don't even have to take it off you still get to use it and use it all right really topical yeah based on the last couple years those five extra pounds or or 10 um i i don't see that for me sex sexuality sexiness comes out through the personality and you know ladies if you were in pretty good shape before and you added five pounds or you were in moderate shape and you added five pounds it's not a big enough difference for us to even notice no i would i would say 10 pounds really isn't hardly noticeable yeah most women it either goes to all the right places or it gets distributed in some way that kind of adds a little extra here and there for me i kind of like the softness and the squeeziness not that i wouldn't love to have a nice hard woman in bed that would be fun but the squeezy butt i like squeezing women and you know you you give them a nice deep long hug you know it feels good to have i know so the five extra pounds isn't necessarily a bad thing ladies like having a little squeeziness to you it's kind of nice it does it feels good i was surprised soft women are um when i started really getting into it morning sex we look disheveled we have bad breath our mascaras smeared all over our face because we were too tired to take it off the night before yeah two scenarios there either one your mascara you were up so late with your mascara so you were doing something fun and naughty potentially so when you wake up in the morning the first thing i'm thinking of is we had a great time last night look there's the boner again and then we're having sex again in the morning so you know not really thinking about the mascara other than a really good reminder of the night before okay and yeah just on any other day let's say it wasn't a crazy wild night waking up next to a a naked woman b who wants to have sex with you yeah kind of don't care about the hair or the makeup or any of that stuff because we're having sex yeah that's what it comes down to and my breath doesn't smell any better so don't get all self-conscious because there's a lot of dragons going on oh my gosh oh oh yeah so menstrual sex this was interesting for me i was surprised how many men are really okay with it i want to say about nine out of ten it's a small very small poll but that i've taken but i would say most guys are like yeah yeah and and i can think of i can remember having that conversation with a woman three or four different times.
One of them was in Costa Rica that first time. And she was like, well, I'm kind of at the tail end. It might be a little messy. And I was like, does it still mean we get to have sex? Okay, then I don't really care. And if you play like we do and you use condoms you're not even getting the blood except for maybe around the very base right like yeah it could be messy throw a towel down it's wet and it's slippery so it's still fun. Yeah. That's what it comes down to. Now, I would say if you just started and you've got a heavy flow, it could look like a murder scene.
I'm not sure how that's going to turn out. But if it's just a little bit, it's not a big deal. Right. Right.
I'm just picturing the scene from American Psycho and the and anyway oh golly terrible yeah dexter was there or something miss him okay yeah this last one i will admit i'm conflicted about this so i'm the outlier from this whole story but and that is but anal sex nice lead-in so phoebe i i love it it feels great great i don't know where that accent came from but yeah it was great you like it enough where we've been playing with couples before and i look over and there's phoebe wait a second that's in her ass and she's just happy as a clam i'm just having a good time it's just funny so So I'm so-so on anal sex.
And I think because Phoebe loves it so much, and I know I'm going to, to all the rest of the guys who are listening to this, I never get anal sex. You're going to go, you're an idiot. Take the butt. But because Phoebe loves it i i need to step up to the plate and right like fulfill that right i'm i'm okay with doing it i think it's just on those occasions where it maybe wasn't you know the cleanest you. You have a little accident kind of thing. Little. My goodness. That has always bothered me, but we now have a bidet. Yes. And I've heard that, you know, bothers some other guys, too. Yeah.
But you're right. that's why they make bidets and that's why we have one right and they're amazing they're a little weird at first i will say they're quite strong they can be yeah and it can be cold if you don't have a heated one which we don't so in the winter it's a little brisk it's quite the morning wake-up call oh my god it's so cold that's what Thank you.
we don't so in the winter it's it's a little brisk it's a it's quite the morning wake-up call oh my god it's so cold so i highly recommend the needed one i don't know how long i'm gonna how many winters i'm gonna tough that out but um it does a really good job in the summer it's nice and warm i know i'm enjoying it but not for in a few more months i'm not yeah okay yeah so you know it's just make sure you're clean and they have other tools or things for that so sure and and i know that they're quick there's probably some process that you should go to and and anal sex just like on a whim without without any preparation, is probably risky.
Except for Botox. Exactly. We were watching Decoupled. Oh, my gosh. And one of the scenes, the lover wants to, he's very well endowed, and he wants to Botox the guy's butt ass hole the hole yes to make him relax and of course he freaks out because he doesn't want to be incontinent for yeah but i i actually did some research on that and then there's like there's the skin outlying the surrounding skin. And then there's the muscle. And so, they'll do Botox in both areas. And you aren't incontinent. It doesn't, they said it doesn't work like that.
They're relaxing, the way they relax it, you know, it's not like you have to have a colostomy bag with you everywhere. Good. And it, of course, doesn't work as fast as they were portraying in the show. But, you know, that's Hollywood. So, it takes, I don't know, one and a half to two weeks for it to work. Yeah. Well, there you go. But, yeah, people do it. This is the last one.
We threw this this Whitney in here there are definitely people who are into this particular yeah I saw a video for the first time but first I met a guy in Costa Rica right and we're in a pool and he's having a conversation with these these other two ladies there may have been three ladies there and i come up into the conversation and then it's going along it's going along and he's saying how much he wanted wants to just be be peed on yeah and he's and the ladies are laughing and i'm thinking he's saying squirting and so i keep correcting him and i'm like oh it's not pee and then because truly in my mind i don't believe it's pee i'm sure there is a portion of pee in there actually i did i read a study there is a small amount of of urine in there but it changes urea yeah anyway back to the story tapping his forehead and then he's like motioning his hands like rubbing them all over his face and i'm like oh yeah that'd be great and so the ladies are laughing and so at some point he goes no i literally mean pee i want someone to pee on my face.
And I'm like, oh, I was like oh all right and then um so i had to watch a video last week to see what this kink was and and some people want to pee in women's mouths and that is a kink it's a thing and some guys want to be peed on or in oh i couldn't pee in anyone's mouth but i think i could pee on someone in the right conditions it's not that bad yeah i mean i wouldn't do it in front of a crowd maybe not not right away. At least that's not what I envisioned. And I think the thing that makes it strange for me is thinking about participating in that, but it doesn't really turn me on.
So it's not a sexual thing. It would be more of somebody else wanted this, so okay. I look at it as that dom position, a position of power. Oh, certainly. And that would give me pleasure. Oh. So, you might actually enjoy it. Yes. Oh, look at you. Because it's a position of power. You get to step into that. I'm stopping you at the anal. Oh, boy. I will help you explore that more besides being uncomfortable. Oh, you don't want to be peeing on? I am not going to the water sports.
Maybe in the shower when we're sitting there, you know, showering together you maybe i'll let you pee on my foot oh oh i see but that's not really sexual at that point no it's not quite the same i just what if what if i'm standing on a boat or in the middle of the ocean and i'm peeing off the side of the boat and a little bit of spittle It hits you in the face Look, I learned from a very young age You don't pee into the wind And I'm peeing off the side of the boat and a little bit of spittle hits you in the face. Look, I learned from a very young age, you don't pee into the wind.
What if I forget? I can't help it. And then you get peed on. How would you be all right with that? You're going to have to be. You're just going to have to be on the boat and try it. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're not jumping off to get clean because I don't know how to drive that thing. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. So, ladies, we all know we get in our head about the kind of impression we want to make. Hopefully, you can take these things off your list of worries because the men around you just don't think about them as much as we do. They want us and we're sexy. So, relax and enjoy the attention.
oh one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. Visit swingeruniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community. We'll see you again soon.
