Want to send us a message? Swinger University is about to hit the seven seas, or at least the Caribbean Ocean, for their third Bliss Cruise. Want to know why we keep coming back, and what we have planned for this trip?Setting the SceneFull ship takeoverVanilla layer of servicesSwinger ActivitiesMeet and greetsEducationPlayshopsMultiple play roomsClothing - lack ofClothing - theme nights Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Phoebe and I are about to embark on our third Swinger Cruise. Want to know why we keep coming back and what makes a Swinger Cruise so much fun? Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program. Offering you the naked facts about swinging.
Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe So first, we want to give a shout out to Kim and Mike for your Patreon pledge We appreciate it Very, very nice, and I sent them a thank you the other day It was... I I love it. I love you guys. All right. We are going to set the scene for this cruise. Let's get to it. Full ship takeover. This is what a swinger cruise means. It is the full ship. Right.
Now I will say they're not all swingers, but the majority are because you have your swinger lovers who just like to hang around us because why because we're cool and sexy and it's fun and we're open-minded so who doesn't love all that uh let's see let's see uh the ship this year this fall is a little smaller than last year which is fine it's still half the size still 3 000 people right well i guess it's not exactly half the size full capacity would have been half the size right but the last ship there were only 4 500 this time i think the capacity is 3 000 for the ship yeah and they are full are full this time.
Yeah. The benefit is you meet a thousand new Swinger friends, you exchange information, and hopefully you meet up on another vacation together. So, I mean, the opportunities of meeting tons of people are just phenomenal, right? Yeah. You have lots of opportunities to find your tribe. And we'll We'll get into how that will occur when we start talking about some other things. So a Swinger cruise isn't any different than a normal cruise at kind of its foundation. It's a cruise ship, so it has all the same amenities.
So if you went there for a vanilla cruise, you'd have the same facilities and the same amenities that you would have. There's bars and venues. So in addition to your, you know, your martini bar and your coffee bars and all of that kind of stuff, the shopping, there's clubs, there's a comedy club. There's sometimes there's an ice rink, Sometimes there's a piano bar. There's a karaoke bar. Right. So there's lots of, oh, there's a sports bar. Right. I haven't done a video tour of our ship. I did that on our last ship. And there were crazy things on the last ship.
I think this ship is a little less crazy, but it's still got, I mean, cruise ships are kind of nuts anyway. There's a lot of stuff on the boat. So you got to eat while you're on the ship too. So there are buffets all over the ship, little teeny restaurants. There's specialty dining, so you can go have a nice sit down sushi meal or a steakhouse. Usually there's something kind of above and beyond the normal, almost fast food kind of fare that they have. But there's also a formal dining room where napkins, tablecloths, and big tables so that you can sit with a group of people.
Now, you can either bring your own people or you can be seated at a table with random people, which can be fun because you get to meet people who you've never, maybe never run into before, which is kind of interesting. Or awkward if the conversation doesn't go very well. We've had it go both ways. Yeah, we have. It's about a 50-50 chance. So depending on how you feel, pick your poison. And usually what we'll try and do is coordinate with some folks and say, we'll meet at the dining area at a particular time.
And usually earlier is a little bit better because then you can have the rest of the evening to do other things. Right, right.
The other thing that the ship has is lots of djs this this time they're going to have five and so they're they're everywhere all throughout the ship at the pool it's in the clubs at the at the events they usually have big dance parties where you're uh you get to dance and show off your formal wear whatever theme night it is it is yeah so dj's philly phil steven b ezel omar and silo are going to be on this crew so some fairly famous djs so that'll be kind of fun and then oh my gosh i'm so excited for this one yeah this one to be great. The burlesque show by the Lalas. I'm so excited.
It's going to be so sexy. Yeah, we love burlesque shows. And usually with a cruise, the shows are fairly decent length of time. And so this is going to be a nice burlesque show. The other show they have is a Queen cover band super excited about that because i love queen so that's also another one of the shows in the evening there's also a comedy show and usually the comedy show on the swinger cruises is hilarious but the comedians love it because they get to make all kinds of really raunchy, probably inappropriate for a lot of audiences, jokes that we all get.
And they get to kind of riff off the whole bunch of swingers on a ship. Right. And the woman who's going to be on this particular cruise is Christy Miller. And she was coined the nasty Barbie of, uh, she'd worked with Andrew Dice Clay. So she's been around for, for quite a while and should be a lot of fun. It should be really funny. Can't wait for that. Then you also have your spa. Uh, the spa also has classes and workshops, which are, which are kind of cool.
I always see that on the itinerary and i've never been but this time i might might do that and see see what new things that they're promoting you know you could always learn about i mean and their skin treatments right they're like botox or hair masks or right stuff like that and if you ever wanted to know about microneedling you can go to one of the classes and find out. Not that you're going to get it done, but, you know, they have those classes and I'm sure they're free. There's always some kind of a drawing for a painting, you know, where you can win a painting.
They've done like silent auction kind of things before. Right. And there's a whole range of shops there where they're selling artwork and whatnot. And I think they ship it to your house. I'm pretty sure they ship it to your house. So you don't even have to worry about taking it off the ship. Exercise classes. There's a full gym there. Although on Swinger Cruises, the gym is usually packed. So swingers like to exercise, like to stay in shape. And the last ship, we tried to get into the exercise equipment, but it was really challenging because there were so many people there. It was ridiculous.
Shopping on the boat. And then there's the casino. Did we talk about the casino? No, we did not talk about the casino. We did not. But if you like to gamble, the casino's fun. And they had, last time, the best, what was it, martini? What was it, a coffee martini? Yeah, espresso martinis. Mm-hmm. That was the only place to get it. So we'd go there and get our espresso martini late at night. That was really yummy. Yes. Ports. You know, it's a cruise ship.
The boat lands lands at places uh they're gonna land at a couple different islands uh we're gonna be on curacao and aruba yes and those should be really super tropical and beautiful and the beaches should be really nice yes there's your normal sightseeing like you can take driving tours around the islands and there's plenty to eat and drink and the recommendation really is to kind of get out of the the port area and get out into town if you kind of stay right where the ship docks the the shops are a little, they're very touristy. And they're not great deals.
So move out from there and see the stuff kind of outside of what the cruise ship provides you. Unless you're looking for the tchotchkes and things like that for family members, then they're great for that. Yeah, if you want to get your shot glasses and your collectible spoons, then they're... And your magnets and necklaces. But if you're looking for a sun hat, you'll get that there. I wanted to mention that we are going to hopefully snorkel with the turtles. Yeah. We're pretty excited about that. That should be super cool. Now, the turtles are seasonal.
So so we're hoping that the turtles will be there. Please be there. Swinger activities. You have a ton of meet and greets. And when I say a ton, they're happening all day long, every day. There's your soft swap, full swap, age group, kinks, and fetish meet and greets.
I mean, they even had uh asian meet and greet sexy and silver meet and greet over 45 under 45 over 55 like do you swing dance meet and greet like i don't all these different categories it was for you oh and they had a meet and greet for the non-swingers that just like to hang right with us swingers so they have thought of everybody if you want to come and find your tribe you can absolutely do that during the day at a meet and greet they also have speed dating you talk about that speed dating is really fun because it's couple speed dating and it's a really quick and easy way to meet new couples what what's kind of fun about it is people are really excited to go do this because it kind of breaks the ice for you.
You don't have to approach people. It's facilitated. So the class always fills up and you've got to get there early. If you don't get there early, you're not going to get in. Travel agent groups are open to everyone, really. It's like their own meet and greet kind of. Yeah. Yeah.
They do their own do meet and greets they do an appreciation for all the people that booked through them so they'll give away free necklaces free drink holders and things like that other fun things and but you're always welcome to come to one of their their events that they're holding and they're really really fun so if you're looking to change travel agent i would check out one of their events or just go to one because they're fun people too yeah and you get to hear the perks of what each travel agent yeah yeah kind of nice each one has nice perks and i do like that i kind of i like a little more white white glove it's kind of nice when all the details of a vacation start to pile up but if if you are looking for that you will find those agencies on the ship yeah and if you're not it's also just a good way to meet other people because they're fun parties they usually pass out drinks and there's hors d'oeuvres and it's it's fun fun place to hang out okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah Thank you.
Fun, fun place to hang out. Okay, can we talk about October for a second? Oh my God, yeah. I've been waiting for this. We were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples. And it sails from Montreal to Boston during the peak foliage season foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury Vacations.
You may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats. This ship, the Crystal Symphony, is classy. Butler service for every single room, Michelin rated restaurants, full spa, clothing optional, sensual playrooms, like everything. Theme nights and international DJ. So it's luxury and nudity? Oh man, this is going to be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples and like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular. So please come with us.
And in order to find it, all you have to do is go to ourswingerlinks.com and look for the LLV Sensual Voyage. We hope you'll join us. Education. Education. Our favorite part. Yeah. They've got a bunch of cool classes this time. They always have classes. They've got a newbies class. Yeah. So it's like an orientation class for swinger cruises, like right at the beginning of the cruise.
So if you're brand new and you and you're nervous about the the cruise right go to the class they'll help you figure it out got it they've got the yawning workshop approaching and closing a prostate massage workshop orgies i guess what how to have an orgy how to coordinate an orgy and coordinate an orgy and how to participate in an orgy okay I like that one self-esteem and tantra and these are just some of them I mean I the the book is full of them yeah there's all kinds of different seminars that they're going to offer so you can really take advantage I mean your, your ticket on the boat isn't just all inclusive, you know, food and room and entertainment.
I mean, it's these other classes as well. Now, some of them do have an upcharge, but there's a lot of them that are free. There's going to be a class on how to make porn or how to turn your significant another into a porn star, which is kind of fun. And the cool thing is it's being run by two professional porn stars. So that might be fun to go hang out, check out, get a tip from a porn star. Uh-huh. Oh, and this next class is going to be your favorite. Yeah, there's a blowjob class and a pussy play class. Oh, that's my favorite. This is the class that has the upcharge. They're sex educators.
But they actually, in the brochure, they're really hot. So it might actually be worth the ticket price. All right, we're going to have to mark that down. I've already started circling and highlighting my program. And that's the other thing that you'll get in the email when you book through your travel agent, you'll get this program ahead of time, several weeks ahead of time. And it gives you a chance to read through the whole thing and highlight circle like, like me, you see all the times for things where they're going to be.
And there's, we didn't, it's not in our outline, but there's a morning video where they talk about some of the activities and some of the things that are going on, like when certain like key events are. Right. Plus every evening they will put under your door or on your bed an itinerary for that next day. It's even more detailed than the brochure thing. I was, whatever it's called that I was just talking about. Yeah. Right. And that tells you what is happening each day. And that's, that's really cool. We always take that to breakfast and do the highlight. Yeah.
And sometimes classes get canceled or sometimes they get moved. So it's important to kind of pay attention to that sheet. Right. And classes repeat. So there's a couple of the classes that will be done several times during the week. So if you miss it the first time, you might be able to do it the second, but not all of them repeat. So if there is one that is only happening once and you really want to do it, make sure you get there.
And I don't recommend carrying a watch on vacation, but for this particular thing, it's kind of good to pay attention to time a little bit so that you can get to the things when they click off or don't. Right. Or don't. The other workshop they have, they call Play Shops, and they're going to have one every day for four days. And it's run by a certified sex therapist and an intimacy sex educator. And so you get to do a lot of practical, you know, hands-on education with your partner. So that sounds really exciting.
That might have a, I'm sure it probably has a little bit of an upcharge to it, but it looks really, really good. The other thing they had last year on a cruise was, uh, there's not quite the same, but I call it a play shop because we played. It was a ladies meet and greet.
So you met in a bar and then you moved to the playroom and you got to experience or borrow use some of the toys that they were educating you on and they had a whole cleaning station and all that and you got to use a toy on somebody else and or have it used on you or you i mean there was it was it was amazing it was literally playtime it was uh it was so fun it's so fun and so you really you got I'll see you next time.
there was it was it was amazing it was literally playtime it was it was so fun it's so fun and so you really you got excited and turned on and you got to try before you buy which is great because if anybody's ever bought sex toys and i'm sure everyone who's listening to this has bought sex toys they're not cheap no some of them are really Yes. And you got to try a couple that were. Yeah. Pricey up there. And so I hope they do that again. That was a that was a good experience. Yeah. Maybe they'll add that. We'll see. There's always multiple playrooms on the ship.
And this year, there's also going to be an outdoor playroom, which is super exciting. We love the solarium, the solariums, the floor plans a little bit different than on the first cruise that we were on and much different than the last cruise that we were on, which is better. And it was just great. It was indoors. It was a little warm. It was kind of soothing. And it was warm.
the last cruise which wasn't so great was that it had a lot of open air yeah panels so the roof wasn't completely closed so the wind would rip through there got a little chilly yeah so there's going to be a conference room playroom there was at the they usually have this on all of the cruise ships, but they're going to have it again this year. There's a fetish room. So if you're into a little spank and tickle, they'll have it there. And there's also going to be, like I said, an outdoor one, and it's up on the rooftop. It's up on the top deck.
And it's be from 10 p.m to 6 a.m so once the other playrooms close at three or four this one will still be open for a few more hours so if you still want to have some fun you can go play outdoors up on the top deck which is cool pool time you talk about pool time because i want to do clothing yeah i love i love pool time so pretty much as soon as the ship pulls out from port about a mile out they'll basically sound an alarm so to speak announce that everybody can take their clothes off and what is it like three miles out or something yeah it's like i think it's a mile oh okay it's pretty quick doesn't take very long and as soon as you're out there everybody starts taking their stuff off We'll be wearing their swimsuit when they get underneath.
So they don't have to wait for their luggage to get to their room. They are in the pool instantly. Because your bags are being carried up from the lower decks to your actual room. So in the meantime, you don't have any of your stuff. stuff so bring your stuff with you so if you arrive the night before or the day before pull out a little mini bag exactly with your ghost stuff and your sunscreen and yeah be ready to have some fun exactly DJ will be kicking off there's going to be some fun pool splashing and ficking. People will be dancing. People will be having a great time.
The cocktails will obviously start flowing almost immediately. Yes. And the layout, this boat is pretty nice. There's two pools kind of right next to each other. So when you say, hey, let's meet at the pool area, it's one place. On the last ship, there were two separate pools on opposite side. Actually, there were four pools on opposite sides of this giant like chasm. It was like a canyon right down the middle of the ship. So you had to go all the way around that to get to the other pools. It was annoying. It was a little annoying.
So this ship is a little better layout for interacting with people which is kind of cool yeah and so then they'll have playmaker then they'll start the games and all the good shenanigans that happen in a pool once the last thing we want to talk about is clothing they always have theme nights theme nights are fun everyone participates everyone loves to dress up and we have all nights. Theme nights are fun. Everyone participates. Everyone loves to dress up. And we have all of our outfits planned. We started several months ago.
Your travel agent or the cruise will push that out in an email several months ahead. So you have time to buy and coordinate your outfits. Some of the themes, for an example, are like formal night, color night, angels and demons night, ABC night, white night, glow night. You know, all the standard swinger themes that we all go to at all events.
So I would suggest trying on your outfits ahead of time and matching try and match several pairs of shoes with one outfit so you can reduce some of the weight of your luggage and bulk coordinate all your jewelry panties socks everything put the whole thing together ahead of time and pack it together that way when you're in the room you just pull out everything and everything just goes on if you're nervous a little bit about an outfit you think well if I'm feeling fluffy that day because you know I ate too much or I drank too much I'm a little bloated bring a backup outfit right that fits the thing that's what I do.
Get all your stuff packed. And then, yeah, try not to watch the video of how they handle your luggage in the airport. Yeah, I just saw that video. Yeah, it's crazy. It's insane. Like, it's bad, bad. The kicker robot. Yeah, it literally kicks your bag, boom, across. Yeah, your bag is slammed. Yeah. I'm surprised ours has made it as long as it has. And none of our stuff has ever gotten broken. No. Shocking. But I'm an excellent doctor. Speaking of stuff getting broken and having to deal with that. So, we're trying something different for the cruise. So, we're going to do daily recaps.
We did it the last cruise and we're going to do it again this time we did in Costa Rica. Um, we have fun doing them cause it kind of lets us relive the previous night a little bit and we get to unwind about the whole thing. Um, but now that we're doing video and audio, we're going to do some video recaps for YouTube, which is going to be super fun. And we're going to do our normal podcast recaps. I didn't know we were going to do both. I thought we were just going to give them the video. We're going to do both. What? Yeah.
So I've been experimenting for the last week with all of the equipment to make sure everything works and a new portable recorder, knock on wood, everything's all figured out by now. But I can't tell you how hard it is to find all the connecting pieces between an iPhone and recording equipment. It's ridiculous. I've sent so many things back to Amazon because it just didn't work the way it was supposed to. Yeah. Nothing but fun. Gotta love technology. Lastly, please remember to purchase your photos. There are photographers everywhere in the evening when you've got your theme night outfits on.
Go up to them, get your photo taken, and then go to the kiosk before you get off the boat and purchase the photos they're amazing they're beautiful they're always they look great and i would say keep uh taking the opportunity to have your photo taken because if you get 200 photos taken and you will it's easy to get 200 photos you can come out with 10 really great photos right so and you get to pick and choose which ones you you actually buy but they'll take as many as you want sort of yeah there's a line so they don't want you to go crazy we usually just end up buying the whole cd because they're always mostly really good really good and we i think the last time we threw a couple out, but they were, I mean, really good.
There was like 40 or almost 50 photos at 40, 40 photos that were really, really good. Yeah.
And if you're, if you're like us where you put the outfit on, you get all dressed up, you go to the event and you come home and you're settling down and you strip down back to your pajamas and go oh shit we forgot to take photos that always happens to us when we're at home yeah we're the worst the worst yeah when it takes when it comes to taking photos which is ironic because now with the podcast doing the video stuff we're we're having to video chronicle more of our stuff so yeah we're gonna we're gonna fake it. Yep, yep. We'll get there. We'll catch up with y'all on your social media-ness.
Well, that's the run-up for this week's cruise, upcoming cruise, this next week. Well, actually, it's Friday. It's this Friday. So if you're listening to this episode, you will be listening to it and we will be getting onto a plane later that night or you'll be listening to it while we're on the plane. Yes. Same day release. Mm-hmm. It's just going to be back to back. I know. So we're really excited about it and trying to shove everything into one suitcase. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So once again, check out our daily recaps from the ship now with video too oh one last thing before you go.
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