Want to send us a message? In this episode we discuss a few questions sent to us by a listener about stamina expectations in the lifestyle. It can be a tricky situation, but we ve got a few tips to keep your head in the game…We address stamina expectations in the lifestyle, how to lengthen your stamina and how to take a break without disrupting the mood.What are the expectations for stamina while playing?How do you deal with recuperation time?What if I literally need to take a break?How can I lengthen my stamina? Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program. Slip into something more comfortable. It's class time. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. Hey there, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Today we're talking about stamina, how to lengthen it, and how to take a break without wrecking the mood.
Maybe this is something that never crossed your mind when you were with your partner, but now you feel differently after your first swinging encounter don't worry we're going to address all of your concerns this podcast was actually inspired by a listener email listener had a bunch of questions and we said hey that's great great stuff. Let's put it together into an episode. So his questions were, what are the expectations for stamina while playing? How do you deal with recuperation time? What if I literally need to take a break? How can I lengthen my stamina?
We are going to address each question in order. I don't know. I don the expectations for stamina while playing? This is a common question. And we, we and everybody in the community love to talk about not having any expectations.
but it's as human beings we just have them it's how we function in life and most people in a swinging situation have the expectation of having a good time they want to make the most of that scenario because it took a lot to get there right as we've said before getting dressed up shaving pruning spritzing babysitters all set up etc etc not to mention the 150 profiles you searched through contacted right got rejected all the back and forth chatting if that's what you did to set up the date. Right. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. A lot of work.
So, generally, people are happy with just having a good time. On the rare occasion, you might encounter someone that has higher expectations. Right.
For example, you've got a woman that just wants to get fucked really hard for 30 minutes straight okay if you run into someone like this first of all hallelujah it's got its pros hopefully there you know there would be more discussion around this type of specific scenario and steps would be taken to ensure this could be a success because this sort of falls into the kink realm where you're looking for an experience that is very specific so most swinger play isn't like this it's it's random it's kind of fluid and it's very fluid another term you keep hearing all the time things are very fluid it changes it morphs people are usually just up for a good time not a specific good time right right it's it's not a checklist right if you will generally to you get to this scenario an event a date you do you want to hopefully get fucked by somebody else but it doesn't always happen which can be fine it doesn't mean the evening is completely ruined because there's so many wonderful things happening right that generally it it all works out yeah it turns into a different experience than what you'd maybe set out as your goal for the evening and we tend we tend to recommend setting goals but not expectations and that's yes something simpler maybe not so specific but just you know we're gonna engage with multiple couples for the evening and if play comes out of that great if not okay no no big deal right yes and i had forgotten that ed we we do set those goals and it's it's little things like oh you know i'm gonna I'm going gonna approach the woman first and see if she wants a kiss or right i'm gonna see if she you know will let me go down on her i really i really want to do that with this person that's my goal for the night right you know so those are the the little things that really make it kind of hard yeah but they're little goals right they're not like you're not playing it out in your head as to how it's supposed to happen yeah it's an approach if you will or a specific type of goal the goal is to be in the moment.
So things like i said are happening at the same time multiple bodies with a multiple stimuluses of sight smell sound and touch all right question two how do you deal with recuperation time so So this is a male question, concern. I know women can just keep going because there's no like external appendage that depends on blood flow to actually function. Women are like, I'm ready. I could use some more lube. Okay, I'm still ready. Yeah. So this is a uniquely male problem in most respects. Sometimes you come early. Sometimes you're overexcited. Things happen it does does happen.
If you need a break or maybe you're having erectile issues, it could be because you just came. It could just be because you're in that headspace. You get distracted. You're overwhelmed. You're overstimulated. And you're thinking about your wife. Is she okay? What was that look on her face? What's that guy doing? Is he being too rough? All that. Yeah. You get out of the mental moment of having a good time. Right.
You're thinking too much it's like having sex with the kids knocking on the door right yeah that just doesn't work so first step don't focus on what's going on with your body.'t focus on you don't don't think about the penis just focus on your partner and what's going on so mental break you're gonna kind of get zen about the whole thing oh so if you feel like you're getting flaccid then stop thinking about it and just focus on something else focus on the other woman focus on whatever else is going on that's right change it got it you got to change the game you got to get out of your head so focus on this the fun stuff that's going on in the room don't think about the bad stuff okay so switch to oral if i ever become a man right yourself got it yeah strap-ons don't have this issue uh switch up to oral so kissing go down on her go down on both of them, whatever.
Play with her breasts. Finger stimulation, kind of focus, refocus on the woman. In addition, when you've got multiple bodies in play, things, as we said, are a little bit more fluid and organic, and you can just kind of get back into the flow. Think about all the sexy stuff that's going on. Think about how you got to this place. Say kinky things to her, right? Like get your head back in the mood by setting the mood. So tell her how sexy she is. Admire her. You know, you're kind of sending all of your focus back to the woman. And the room, too, right? Like, oh, damn, this is hot.
There's another couple in our bed with us. There's six other couples in the room with us, like whatever the situation is.
we've even had couples kind of take a brief pause and and make that comment exclaim out loud isn't this fucking fun you guys and you have a little pause and and i make that comment exclaim out loud isn't this fucking fun you guys and you have a little laugh and those are the times that are really fun because you're you're laughing and this is why we call it play right because it's experimental it's fun it's light it's sexy it's you're supposed to be having a good time yeah yeah and if you're worried or Thank you very much.
it's fun it's light it's sexy it's you're supposed to be having a good time yeah yeah and if you're worried or focused inwardly which happens paying attention right but the goal is to the zen as you said yeah deep breath yep you could also get your wife to help now this can go a couple different ways for example she's going hot and heavy you're a little distracted by that you can have her focus on the other woman to give you a little bit of a break sometimes you need a rest so in the case where you came to early, well, it's just intermission, right?
You know, you get a little time out, focus on other things, play a little director action here, get her and your wife to play a little bit so that she's not being left out, your partner isn't being left out right but at the same time you know it's okay to just play with other things right so now your wife is taking care of barbie everybody's having a good time everybody's included that gives you a little bit of a pause a little bit of a mental break from performance anxiety right like you're trying to perform right don't worry about it right takes the pressure off oh are we ready to move to the third question ed well i was just going to say the bottom line is being aware of how everybody's being taken care of in other words you you focus outwardly instead of getting in your head so like get out of your head got it well what if i literally need to take a break which is the next question ah hydration is key so in this case just call it many partners will call a water break or snack break and then you dive back in sometimes it's done briefly with you know one partner sometimes the whole crew will break and then get back at it in the same room scenario that we play in we've had And for example, the man will take a break, he'll run over, he'll turn on the ceiling fan, he'll grab a bottle of water that's on the dresser, take a couple chugs, you know, wipe off his forehead, and he'll jump back in.
Yep. That's a little mini break. Lounge on the bed, sip some water. Right. Watch what's going on. He's still part of it. He's still right there. Perfectly fine. Communication is key. Observing the needs of everyone involved and making sure they don't feel left out is also reassuring. Right. If you're a couple that likes same room play, having your partner close by is typically very comforting and as long as they're there and you can see them, you can reach out to them. You know, it's usually all very, very good. Exactly. Alright, this is another I don't know.
can see him you can reach out to him you know it's all it's usually all very very good exactly all right this is another key question that happens all the time the question is what can i do to lengthen my stamina so maybe you are overexcited maybe this is a hell of a night and You're just having a really good time and she's she's making all the right noises and the right moves and you need to go a little longer so how do you extend your play time well i'll say it viagrais, aka Swinger Insurance, all the podcasts talk about this. We hear about it in the lifestyle all the time.
There are a number of reasons for using erectile dysfunction medication, and that is it's late you're tired not a good combination when you're trying to have sex you've been consuming alcohol everybody talks about whiskey dick it's a thing so playing in low light right like you set the mood the lights are low now you're sleeping it's really hard to stay awake let alone erect the whole time bb's melatonin kicks in in a movie i've fallen asleep many times in a movie yes yeah yes it's a thing i have to poke her i like poking phoebe though so most swinger play situations kind of happen with all of these conditions going on insurance is necessary for for a lot of.
And if you want to make the most of your evening, remember we said it takes a long time to set this whole thing up and you don't want to be falling asleep with your new fun friends. That's not fun. It's not fun for anyone. And yeah, it sets up a whole set of situations where it's just bad for everybody. So don't fall asleep. And this is a good example of why you want to take a break. Sometimes you've got to wake up, got to run around the room, got to like, you know, get some food, energy, energy.
And you go into a room that's maybe brighter light so yes wakes you up again yes yes so maximizing your time you're i mean you're an olympian you're no pressure you're an olympian exactly you're there at the games it's the stars have aligned and you need to make the most of it because you will probably never see these people ever again and that's another thing right like finding that key couple and having multiple dates with them it happens it just doesn't happen very often it's rare and with the expected lifespan of a swinger lifestyle experience with that couple 18 months this may be the only time you see them yeah most people are in it for 18 months and they're out.
So there you go. Consider that. Here's a really cool thing about safe for sex play. I didn't say safe sex, but safer sex play. Condoms. Condoms are really good for desensitizing your penis. Right. Although they've gotten much better. They've gotten they've gotten thinner yes yeah they're not quite the trash bags that they used to be but they do reduce sensation just a tiny bit and it will help you stay up longer so right and that's actually a good thing to look for. So, if you are really sensitive, don't buy the super ultra thin, extra ribbed whatever to overstimulate you.
Maybe go for the thicker ones. Right. The industrial grade. Right. The inner tube. And the third point on this one is those alternate techniques right back to the oral back to the fingering so you start to get excited take a deep breath realize that pull out right switch it up now you've stopped stimulating your cock, you're stimulating her, he can take a break, you can focus on...
up now you've stopped stimulating your cock you're stimulating her he can take a break you can focus on her and when you feel the blood pressure come back down go back at it so summarizing very zen yeah some of it it's all mental it's all mental you gotta keep your head in the game so i mean you it's corny in the movies they talk about like think about baseball oh yeah right think about something else doing laundry yeah right something non-sexual non-exciting to kind of reduce your stimulation but i prefer to just pull out and do something else go down on her or play with her breasts or you know there's lots of other things than thinking about baseball right so viagra cialis they help improve your your rebound capability right really cool side effect with that is not only do you is it easier to stay up but you can I'll see you next time.
capability right really cool side effect with that is not only do you is it easier to stay up but you can become erect multiple times so it helps with that whole process condoms assist with the endurance and they reduce the sensitivity and then you know mixing it up keeping you know you don't have to be a one trick pony it's not just stick it in and bang until you're done like right pull out have some other fun right you have this couple there in front of you so take advantage that's right Play with all the toys right the adventure you both embark on will challenge your personal growth and growth together as a couple if it's something you want to take on i applaud you and your strength and desire to be more than you are today before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review.
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