Want to send us a message? We share our adventure in Reno with some new friends we met at the 2019 New Years event. We also discuss how important communication , and expectation can be in making any Swinger connection successful. Hope you enjoy… We sure did. SHOW NOTES:Communication Keep The Fire Burnin !Don t Burn The ForestHonestyExpectations To Have or Not To HaveSomewhere In BetweenFlexibility Be Flexible With Intent! Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program. Group projects were never this much fun. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. So away we go for Randy and Reno.
Oh oh yeah we're gonna share with you our sexy swinger experience and give you some pointers on communication and expectations you don't want to slip out for this one we met this sexy flirty couple at new year's stayed in touch and decided to go visit them but before this all came about there was some communication obviously communication you gotta keep the fire burning but not so much that you burn it out exactly Thank you very much. Communication, you've got to keep the fire burning, but not so much that you burn it out. Exactly.
People have lives, they have their own life, and you're not in their life. You're sharing a little bit. Yeah. Or a lot. A dessert in their life. so this couple, we kicked them back and forth, as I mentioned. We met them at New Year's. We had a great time. We stayed in touch. We're communicating through Kik. And they happened to mention that we should come up for the weekend.
So, you know, we weren't really sure they were serious we figured oh they're just high on the whole new year's eve experience we'll just kind of let them come down from that a little bit and a couple weeks go by sure enough they threw out the bait and we bit swingers' strategy is to not chase, which I think is good, solid advice. And while we applied this strategy, I really liked Ed's response when I asked, are we chasing? And I said, sometimes you gotta go where the fish are. Ha ha. And that's when we decided to go.
So it's really important to have some communication in terms of setting up details, maybe a couple picks here and there just to spice things up, give you a little taste of what's coming, but not go too much into it and don't build it up so much that your anticipation kind of outpaces what the potential is. Exactly. So a couple videos and a couple pictures later. The week progresses. It gets a little closer to Friday. And we noticed the communication got a little thin. And I'm just talking basic communication like, hey, how's your day? Thinking about you guys. There are some simple one-liners.
And so we got a little nervous thinking gosh the hotel's already booked we can't cancel i've taken time off work so we said we better have a backup plan because sometimes things happen and when sometimes plans go... Tits up. There's always a strip club. Especially in Reno. We're not gamblers, but we do like titties. Yeah. Absolutely.
So we left work and drove up to Reno and dropped them another line just to see if they were excited to see us you know we're getting there we're on the way turns out they both just had crappy weeks at work super hectic and were just beat yeah but they let us know that they were very excited to see us which was great yes so alleviated yes so we're sitting there at a restaurant right there in downtown reno great little place called the depot oh yeah that was really good food great cocktails and they gave us the play by play in terms of where they were how soon they were going to get there taking care of some vanilla stuff at home to make sure that that was all settled in and then shortly thereafter their bubbly cells came bouncing into the room and hugs and kisses for everybody.
And we sat down and had a little dinner with them. And it was so nice to see them. Oh, yeah. It was a great end of the week for us and I think for them, too. Yeah.
so we made plans for the evening because it was still pretty early and decided what our original plan was so we had a backup plan but the primary plan was to go hit pk there in reno pk is short for poker nights which is a nice club it's an actual swing club there in reno and tell them how they spell it it's poke her nights it's fun we've been there twice now and we've had a good time both times but it's like any establishment it's kind of hit or miss during the week depending on what people's schedules are like because it's always there it's not like an event it tends to be just like a nightclub where you kind of have good nights and lesser attended nights right so where you kind of have good nights and lesser-attended nights.
Right. So we go. We get there. We throw our coats in the closet. We get some drinks, and we head up to the hot tub. The hot tub is actually upstairs, which is amazing. I don't know how they did this, but it's the size of a small pool. It's massive. It's got to be like a 12-person hot tub. 12? It's like a 50-person hot tub. It's not that big. Okay, 30. It's big. Honey, it's not that big. Oh, yeah, it's big. It's huge. It's really big. It's not that big. It was so fun. They had lockers to put all your stuff, fresh towels, all folded nice and neat. Very, very nice. Very, very clean.
So we all got in the hot tub and splashed around. And the tip was, and the reason why we got in the hot tub this night was. Oh, don't say that. You're going to say the reason why you go, no, don't say that. Okay, I won't say it. Don't say that. But anyway, we were floating around in the hot tub, and everybody started to get a little frisky. So we decided to get out of the hot tub and get into some trouble. Yes. Went into one of the rooms upstairs and had a good time. A real good time. Real good time. Sometimes the door was open. Sometimes the door was closed.
Got a couple invites from the neighbors to come join them. Yes, we did. Didn't take them up on it, but it was...
You, you got the invite yeah that's true and the husband invited you my wife really oh i think she's he said she really likes your cock yeah i think she said he yeah he said you she would really like your yeah we didn't take him up on the offer i had plenty on my plate yes i didn't need uh i didn't need to extend myself my eyes i kept my my appetites contained we had a really good time it was such a such a good time oh yeah it was great um lots of fun for a while and then we decided it was getting late yeah we closed the club out basically there were only oh that's right four people left by the time we left the room yeah we did and that was perfect um we didn't even know or care because we were in our own little bubble bubble yeah so we ended the evening they dropped us off at our hotel because we got a hotel and initially they wanted us to stay both nights with them but it's too much pressure on people to have someone in your space for two nights and we weren't sure how it was all going to play out so as we said earlier we had a hotel so we went back to the hotel fucked and slept and got up the next day and you glossed over that one real quick you're just like we fucked and then slept sorry yeah we need I was trying to get to the shopping.
Oh, well, you know, I know where your mind is. And now you know where mine is. It was great. Yeah. And, you know, it was the end of a long day. You know, we had a long drive and it was nice.
It turned out much better than what we had hoped it was going to be and at the end of the night they said we can't wait to see you again tomorrow we're going to be you know busting our ass basically to clean the place and make it all ready for you we'd love for you to come and stay we've got the pullout couch etc etc right and so we were like oh because we didn't have expectations to stay another night because we really weren't sure right you know things can change so that leads us to expectations yeah it's tricky because you need to have some degree of expectations when you're planning stuff like you kind of want to want it.
Right. And we've been guilty of saying this before where have no expectations when you're swinging. And, you know, we admit we have said this in the past, but after this weekend, we think we kind of figured out some of the intricacies of expectations. So if you don't have any, you might be sending the wrong vibe.
You might seem off-putting in that you don't care or you're not interested so while it's important not to over invest you still have to have some sort of skin in the game you gotta you gotta make sure that you've got that line the tug on the line on that fishing line so the trick is to have some but don't like hinge your happiness your entire evening or weekend on this grand success that you've built up in your head it never it never lives up to that level of expectation it's okay to want something like i said but it's the level of weight or importance that you put on it and you you can't let that outweigh the experience you're going to have with your own partner which is going and having a good time.
That's the critical thing. And so it's good to not set yourself up for failure. But remember, you've always got at least one backup plan. It's better to have two, one for the evening and one for you and your partner. Right.
And, you know, your partner is the cake and the icing is really just swinging with a little decoration on top yeah so we alleviated some of the expectations by removing some pressure off of our new swinger friends and they were super gung-ho to have us stay two nights when we first started making plans but we gave them a little bit of a relief from that so that the expectations weren't so intense right right and it worked out because they weren't ready to have us over that night anyway and the second night worked great so we shopped we did our thing during the day and they called us up and said hey come on over we're ready we've got the house clean yeah they did a spring cleaning and oh yeah it was awesome got it all ready for us yeah it was super sweet it's pretty tough to have somebody living in your space and entertaining them all weekend long and just like we reconnected on friday night it's important as a couple to be able to reconnect so after new year's and the experience we had with them then we knew that they needed some couple's time to reconnect so friday night pk they get to go back to their place we went back to our place everybody got to reconnect yeah and recharge for round two recharge yes so flexibility yeah also very important we were very flexible they were very flexible and knowing or having that awareness that things are going to change and have your backup plan like ed said and that if everything falls to pieces with the other couple then you know you've got some fun plans ahead of you with just the two of you right so we were in a situation i don't remember where it was but something we're supposed to meet someone or go somewhere something fun was was supposed to happen, and it all went south.
And we just decided to throw on the positive attitude, and we ended up pulling in somebody else. It must have been an event or something. Something like that happened at New Year's last year where we'd had plans and there was one couple who was real eager for us to connect with them, but we weren't sure how that was going to go. And we'd lost their room for a while, didn't know which room number they were in. We ended up in another party and it was great because we'd gotten the second invitation. It was a lot of fun. We're still talking about that experience. That was great.
By the end of the evening, after that after party, we'd gotten a text from them or a message from them, and they'd given us their room number again, and we did end up meeting up with them oh that's right now it's always good to have backup plans and a positive attitude yeah we did our day shopping we got uh over to their place we watched a movie we kind of relaxed and then we started um getting ready for our second evening because we knew we were going to stay the second night we were both a little tired oh yeah from the first night right but we said you know let's we'll give it a shot yeah so we got there early it was mardi gras night yes it's pretty fun it was fun we got some beads?
I didn'tardi Gras night. Yes. Which was pretty fun. It was fun. We got some beads. I didn't get the beads I wanted, though. No. You didn't. It's too much pressure. Yeah. I had to show my boobies, which I'm fine showing my boobies. But there was like 30 people standing in the lobby, and I just walked in the door. And I would have to unassemble my entire outfit just to whip my boobs out, and then I'd have to put it all back together. I don't know.
just walked in the door right and i would have to unassemble my entire outfit just to whip my boobs out and then i'd have to put it all back together and i know i know this is way too much work so i just decided to whip my dick out in the bar and got beads for her because the two ladies who were running the bar were happy with that exchange of goods and so we got some fun beads but the crowd wasn't quite the same as the first night there were more people there and it just it just didn't have the right vibe for us and we decided that we had more than enough company for ourselves, so we all headed back to their place.
Yeah, it's almost like it was too distracting that evening. We just were, like, super giddy and just wanted to go back and fuck at their house. Yeah. I think we really wanted to try out their bed. Yeah, they have a really great bedroom. It's fabulous. Oh, yeah. It's very sensual and sexy, and they've got tight ends. Very dungeon-esque. Yes. Yep, that was it. Yeah, I think that's really what it came down to.
I'm sure it had nothing to do with do with the two of them but no no not at all not that they weren't exciting and fun oh yeah yeah we wanted them all to ourselves so we did have them all to ourselves for a very long evening again yeah oh my god we were so tired at the end of it but it was so much fun we tried a bunch of different stuff oh we were all had a great time and the couch and yeah toys and without toys and i think there was a costume change in there and oh my there goodness. There was some watching and some participating. Oh, yeah. The guys were watching. Yeah. The missus.
Have some fun for a little while. That was fun. That was quite the show. We did enjoy. Yeah. Got a little relaxing. Or a little reprieve with some eye candy. Mm-hmm. It was juicy. So, you know, be flexible. The key is to be flexible with intent. Make sure your message is clear and not wishy-washy. I still want to meet up and have sex with you. Is the message that you want to give. The key is to be flexible with intent. Make sure your message is clear and not wishy-washy. You want to be sure to communicate that, yeah, I'm interested. I want to have sex with you.
But be aware, it's a little bit of a balance. In summary, have good, honest communication that shows intent with flexibility. Have expectations. Just don't let them run your entire evening, event, or weekend. Remember, this is the opportunity for an experience with your partner, however it may develop. Love one another and love often. Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review. I am the first to admit that it is much easier to give a five-star rating, which we appreciate.
But if you could take 43 seconds to type a review, we would love it. If you want to share a personal story, ask us questions or share your comments, please contact us at swingeruniversity at gmail.com or tweet us at swingerupodcast. Oh, one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. This is a production of WGBH. review.
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