Want to send us a message? Join Ed and Phoebe for New Year s 2019 at the largest Northern California Swinger Party. Swing into 2020 with the lows and highs of each night. We met some sexy friends then rang their bell and set the tone for 2020!Show NotesNYE PreParty BluesNYE Glam, Clits and Tits NYE Blues 2NY DAY Post Party Panned Out!Take Away Lessons Learned Planning Backup PlansGracious Respectful Behavior Drama v. Normal Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program, taking you back to those experimental years. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. Welcome back.
How was your New Year's, ed oh my god it was good and then it was better well mine was great too today we're gonna talk about our new year's as if you didn't already know it was hosted by allures and we had our own pre-party and post-party so get excited because here it comes new year's is always a big holiday for swingers, especially in our area. I mean, everybody gets all dressed up and they get their drink on, their dance on, and all that kind of stuff. Plus, it's like the last party of the year. Right. I mean, around here, we don't have another party until maybe March or April.
Like a big party, like a hotel takeover. Right. And I don't even know if that's happening this year. Right. In our usual fashion, we live, actually, we live a lot closer to the party now than we did before. Hashtag new house. Yeah.
So much closer yes we are 15 minutes away now from the big party you know if we forget something we can come home and pick it up but we try not to we try not to because we try to get in the zone go to the party get all settled in get unpacked get in the right mindset it's our own sexual staycation and this particular year we really needed to get away from the new house right because we've just been 24-7. Balls to the wall. Remodel everything. Floors, paint, you name it. We've done it. Everything's new. Right down to the hand towels.
We've spent way too much time on our knees and not in a good way. Hands and knees for weeks. Yes. I know. And, yeah. Thank you. And not in a good way. Hands and knees for weeks. Yes. I know. And, yeah. It's beautiful, though. It is. It's amazing. We love it. All right. But we needed fun time. Uh-huh. So we get there early. It's our forced vacation.
We've got two other couples that we're meeting that we were in a kick group with and by the way we had met before right we set the kick group up to get everybody on the same page because we're like look it's party time yeah everybody get in here let's let's work out all the details one of the couples we had played with before, the other couple not, met them at another event. They were just fabulous, exciting people and great communicators. Yeah. Great stories. Super fun. So engaging. A lot of great witty banter. Yeah.
Very yeah sexy conversation so it was a mind turn on for sure oh yeah yeah so we're all like this is gonna be amazing mental foreplay yeah So, as you know, expectations were high. Warning sign one. Yep. All right. A little foreshadowing there. Yeah. So we get there and we decide we're hungry. We're going to go get some dinner.
And as we're figuring out where we're going to go and what we're going to do, we start checking in with people to see where they're at because we were all supposed to be there early right and so couple one their plans changed they couldn't get off work so trying to get packed trying to get things together all of that it just wasn't going to happen so they're not there for the pre-party yep stuff happens yep so there's wrinkle number one couple number two they're late too yep so stuff happens you know hey real life yep so we said hey we're gonna go get some dinner when you get that because once again we're not waiting for everybody to have fun.
We're going to start our own fun. We decided we're going to go to the restaurant where we were getting hit on by the waitress. Oh, sorry, bartender. And we said, okay, that might actually work out very well. Yeah, maybe we could find her again and drive her back to the room. We'll make party three. Exactly. Backup plan. Yes. Hey, we've got plans within plans within plans. We're sitting there at dinner and we get a message that they're here. Couple number two has finally arrived. We said, great. We're over at the closest restaurant. We're sitting down at the table.
We're right inside the front door. We'll see you when you get here. Yeah, it was great. It was great to see him. But throughout the dinner, we were getting some messages. Well, expressed. Very clear verbal indication. that the missus was was you know there's a medical issue going on and partially out of commission yeah and so it was really clear that you know nothing was really going to happen that night and i get it you know stuff happens again stuff happens so we're thinking okay that evening, we are really not having any kind of pre-party. No. There was pre, but no party. Yeah.
So we weren't bummed. We had each other. We go back to the room. We're just happy to be relaxing and gearing up for a really great, sexy yes as we said nothing happened we ended up having our own fun i went to bed and then the next day is new year's eve now we're at new year's eve day so we hung out at the mall we did some fun stuff we actually shopped for the house too it was hilarious um we can't ever help ourselves oh that's right we went to the container store oh my god that place is like crack for homeowners i told you i had no idea gateway drug it was awesome.
So the day goes by, and we get ready for the party, which is a lot of fun. We usually have our music. We have some drinks and snacks, et cetera, et cetera. Of course, I brought three different outfits and probably five different pairs of shoes because I didn't know what I was going to be in the mood for and i like to be prepared didn't we get a a message from somebody to come by their room oh that's right couple number one arrived oh yeah yeah and like it was only an hour two hours before the party something they were like right at the last minute. I know. And we felt so bad.
So we rushed down there to help them get ready. Exactly. I don't know how helpful we were, but. You ironed a shirt. I did. I brought cocktails. That's right. That's all anybody really needs. And we did. We helped them out. We just, you know, it was nice to hang out with them. We were looking forward to seeing them. Yeah. It had been a little while. Yeah. They're good friends. That's right. I totally forgot. I forgot. I ironed his shirt. It was awesome. I did a good job. Yes. Okay. So we get down there. We all go. I don't know. Do we all go together? I think. Yeah, I think we did.
there we all go i don't do we all go together i something yeah i think we did we all kind of wandered in everyone looks amazing you get the onesies and twosies that are like t-shirts and jeans really how'd you even get past security looking like that anyway i don't don't get it. It was terrible. I felt bad. You spend that much for a party and you dress to impress, as they say. You got a lot of compliments on your suit. I did get a lot of compliments on my suit. Very. You looked hot. And that's why you dress up for New Year's. Pretty much everyone.
Men and women, walked up to you and said, man, where'd you get that suit? I got a lot of man love that night. You dig it? A lot of bro compliments. Yes, and I wore my famous see-through. Bounch long gown, the split all the way up the thigh. It was nice. Yeah, there are pictures of that. Did we put New Year's? Oh, we don't have New Year's pictures. Oh, no, we do.
Up on our uh instagram account so if you want to see what the dress looks like go to our instagram account swing you podcast on instagram oh my god love that dress actually everybody loves that dress yeah yeah that's a fun dress i love it okay I love it. Okay. Well, you know, the party's great. As we've described these Allure's parties, they're amazing. The lighting is grand. There's soft curtains lining the room. There's couches and tables and balloons and decorations and snacks.
She had snacks and pretzels for everyone this year you get champagne at midnight they had the balloon drop i mean this is full on all out way better than any new year's eve party you've ever been to it's fun freaking fabulous oh there must have been three or four different bars. You could get a drink anytime. It was great. It was amazing. So we wandered around and we said hello. We hung out in some of the cabanas with some of our friends and danced and had an awesome time. Then we went to go check out the BDSM room with couple number two. And that was fun and interesting. Yeah.
There's some fun things to see in there. Yeah. We're kind of enjoying the BDSM thing a little bit more than we used to. I know. It's kind of taking me by surprise. I'm also shocked at how much you're enjoying multiple aspects of that lifestyle. Kink. I know. Right? As long as you don't bruise me, I think I'm going to be good with this. Like I said. Or poke needles in me. I'm not, you know, any kind of scarring.
I'm not good with that we're starting slow kind of dip our toe in a little bit but that that level of kink the the needle play it's fascinating i am i am fascinated by the the desire and that pleasure-pain, what do you call it, ratio, interest, excitement? That heightened sense. Yeah. I'm just fascinated by people and what they're into. It's very interesting to me.
Yeah, kinky people are very interesting to study i just love how different people are and all the things that they love okay so we're in there with couple number two some light spanking some fun yeah we couldn't tell If they were still into us or not. There were some mixed messages. Seems the missus was maybe holding back or reconsidering some things. So we weren't quite sure where the evening was going to end up.
so we leave there and you know the party continues for New Year's Eve I mean it was you know it's a party so as i described earlier dancing drinking lots of fun flirting yeah and you know wandering the ballroom and running into random couples people we knew people we didn't know getting compliments handing compliments out it was great we passed through one of the couples that was in a cabana that was very flirty and she'd given us a pickup line that was yeah kind of hot and we remembered her uh-huh something about her and the way she was interacting with us really stuck with us. Oh, yeah.
And we talked about her a couple times because she made such an impression on us. Right. But. Precursor.
A little foreshadowing.owing yes but we walked around and the champagne toast was there we right introduced some of our friends to some of our other friends and everybody was having a good time right dance all midnight comes ball ball drops in this particular case the balloons all fall from the ceiling it was great kiss kiss drink drink blah they'll dance kind of close out the new year yep okay party in the room let's get to that part okay they want to hear about the party in the room oh i do too okay so we invite couple number two we invite actually couple number one and number two to the party couple number one isn't feeling so well we didn't find out till the next day what was what was going on with them they intended to come they didn't show up yeah we found out they were sick so that was a bummer couple number two we get up to the room we try to get the conversation going.
It was a lot different than before. So we were very confused and there was a lot of talking, but it wasn't sexy talk. So we were like confused.
Like what happened between the kick group and the other meeting and why is now different something's different changed so in the interest of getting things going which i've never done this before i just ripped my clothes off in front of everybody because i'm like it was terrible we hated it it's new year's eve like let's get this thing started like enough of this talking i'm like raring to go boom action so then that action seemed to offend the missus or put her off and i was like oh no that didn't work very well so there was there was some soft swap going on a little bit which was nice and then me and the mr played there was some full swap going on there but i was distracted because you weren't getting the attention that i wanted you to get and i wanted to see you get yeah so i felt i was a little out of my body because i was focused on worried about you basically and to make sure making sure that you were getting your needs met and you were feeling included very much a spectator in this particular sport yeah so for me my experience was a little short lived and a little distracted because of that because i didn't really don't usually play like that yeah and i that and and i didn't i didn't know what's going on and it was it was interesting because usually i like to have a little bit more active participation like that makes me feel like i'm being involved but that night i i actually wasn't upset about watching or just not not having equal time so to speak that's right you did express that i remember and i've been in similar situations where well i mean it was that was a lot more extreme there were like three guys and you and i had nothing sorry that one was really uncomfortable this there were enough signs that i kind of was prepared for it and i think i'm i've also gotten comfortable with you know i don't you know it doesn't necessarily have to happen every single time, but I think I was kind of reveling in my kind of out of body.
Like I was observing, but more of not as a participant, but just kind of there. Right. And it was okay. It was okay.
wasn't it wasn't weird or uncomfortable um it was disappointing in some respects but you know it is what it was right okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah i've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with They're fun red hats.
This ship, the Crystal Symphony, is classy. Butler service for every single room, Michelin rated restaurants, full spa, clothing optional, sensual playrooms, like everything, theme nights and international DJ. So it's luxury and nudity? Oh man, this is going to be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples and like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular. So please come with us.
and in order to find it all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us all right so there's new year's eve for you it was it was what it was yeah it was a fun party we got to socialize a lot but they're just there wasn't as much sexy time as we've had in the past right i think the last new year's party that we were at we went from we were at a pre-party at some table parties. We got invited back by a couple of couples to a couple after parties. Yes. We were having a hard time. We ended up in like an orgy, total group thing.
And then we left that party and found another couple uh-huh that had been hitting on us heavy yes and we that was our those were our young couple remember our room number she kept telling me what's our room number she'd find me in the party she's like what's our room number 2116 good i'm glad you remember it they were oh my god hot for us oh my god it was awesome i loved her yeah and we had a great time with them too um but that was a new year's where it was like non-stop end to end oh yeah so we're like wow i know it's so it's so hard not to have expectations it's really hard which is why you just try to go with the flow you make a lot of plans and you always have a backup plan so we wake up the next morning yep we pack up we we got breakfast in the room oh yeah that was nice and that was that was very relaxing and we hung out with couple number one yeah we all got breakfast We'll see you next time.
the room oh yeah that was nice and that was that was very relaxing and we hung out with couple number one yeah we all got breakfast we all got breakfast we hung out we we kind of reconnected with them which was great it was so fun and you know it was totally platonic but it was great um we we've really come to enjoy their their friendship and he paid for breakfast and he paid for breakfast which was awesome and and i nice guy i'm always shocked when people do that stuff but it was the end of a great weekend a little staycation a little breakfast with friends and then we took our suitcases downstairs and we were feeling just really awesome at that point right i mean because the fact that we got to reconnect with them it was super social yeah yeah i know it was nice we had a good weekend so we're at home yeah we drove home 15 minutes away And all of a sudden we get we get a message and i look and i go hmm who who is this and then i started connecting dots uh-huh ding all the synapses fired and i remembered that there was a couple that had reached out to us they lived in reno and i said there's there's no way we're getting together with them because they're in reno we're in sacramento that's like two hours away like it's not close right it's not far but it's's like over the Sierra Mountains and on the windy 80 over the hill.
It's not next door. Right. And for a first time encounter with someone, you can't have any expectations. You basically want to go to Reno to do something else. And then there will be the cherry on the top if it works out. But lo and behold, they were delivered to us. This wasn't pickup. This was DoorDash. They came right to us. Ooh, swing your DoorDash.
I like that idea idea that's a community service so they they contact us and they say hey we're still in town we're staying over one more night you want to come hang out in the hot tub oh we said yes okay so they're doing the post party we did the pre-party they're doing the post party oh my god so we're like oh my god what do we do okay shower get dressed and we're like oh my god i'm starving we got to eat some food and so we go a little early we tried to find food on the way there that was a just a no just a cluster that just never that just didn't work no so we finally said there's a restaurant at the hotel let's just eat there so we did we went to the bar and we ordered a little bit of food and we messaged them and said hey we tried to find food beforehand we're here we're in the bar do you just want to us here?
And we'll have a couple of drinks and we'll go from there. Yeah. And they said, we'll be right there. And there they are. They showed up in the bar and we hung out. We had great conversation with them. Personalities were great.
and we made the we had great conversation with them personalities were great and we made the connection that this was the girl that threw the one-liner at us when we walked past in the ball room and we were like oh my god now it totally makes sense yeah yeah so we were super excited super super excited yeah and it was crazy conversation it was like rapid fire back and forth everyone was you interrupt but you pick it up and it circle around it come back and it was everyone was totally on the same yeah it was great fun that was their description all fun We'll be right back.
Totally on the same page. Yeah. It was great. Fun. That was their description. All fun. And there wasn't like awkward silence. Nope. There was no weirdness. Nope. We weren't sure how it was going to work out. And it was like instant chemistry. Yeah. Instant chemistry.
And we got to a point in the conversation where we're like, let's go to your room let's go yeah let's go let's skip the hot tub yeah we're like no hot tub waste of time let's just get it on so we did we ran up to their room and the lights were great they had little snacks out because they were doing their little post-party thing yeah and as much fun as the conversation was oh my god the sex was better oh my god hot couple he's in great shape she's a sex goddess slinky curvy curvy juicy oh my god Thank you.
great shape she's a sex goddess slinky curvy curvy juicy oh my god best butt oh my lord and fun fun absolutely fun with a capital f oh yeah fun we were we were laughing we were joking In fact, one point i mean because she was very enthusiastic at one point her husband goes well i made some comment about oh wait you already started it became kind of this running like a competition like a race and so who's gonna get to what next he's like quick let's let's start fucking before them and so he like pulls me down on the bed and he like gets me like flat because we were kind of i was kind of propped up on the pillows and then he puts on a kind of i'm like hurry before them hurry it was like so fun oh my god we had so much fun and it was amazing it was pretty pretty good sex it was really good sex as a matter of fact we wrecked the bed yeah she she was on top of me riding me so hard we were i think the bed moved like a foot off the headboard it moved and we felt really bad for the neighbors for about two seconds no we didn't feel bad for them fuck them um it was great and as much fun as it was in the room it wasn't awkward afterwards we were connected with them we still were laughing from beginning.
It was hilarious. She was making jokes about stuff. He was making jokes. Great people. Honest, real people. Great sex. And the sex was great because of the enthusiasm and the level of comfort and fun.
Like, everybody was in it to have a good time not not to fuck the hardest or the longest or the whatever it was it was just let's have as much fun as we possibly can i know it was so great great oh my god so great okay i know we're probably boring everyone with how great it was it was great we're just like great basking in greatness right now we're actually having a little i'm having a little flashback i know i'm like all worked up right now okay so i could go on and on post party's done we get home we're in bliss the next day we add them to a group chat kick chat right we're all gonna stay connected yeah because they said at the yeah during all of that fun they're like oh my god we have to get together again we live in reno and i was like we have a reason to drive to reno now we do I don you know.
uh the missus joined the chat but he didn't join or neither one of them joined at the same time it took a while for one and the other and you know i get that i wasn't always in chats for a long time so whatever we didn't think anything of it uh it's not uncommon and then you know we're just having a platonic chat and then it kind of like dies off and i was like huh weird you know Let's go.
you know we're just having a platonic chat and then it kind of like dies off and i was like huh weird you know seemed like something was kind of off the the flow kind of stopped and um then about a day later i think the wife chimed in and she said that they were just gonna kind of take a break he. He had left a chat, I guess. Right. And they were going to take a break and kind of take two weeks to kind of reconnect and just decompress the whole process. And it didn't have anything to do with us. In fact, we were like the best part of their New Year's Eve.
But the evening before, they had an experience where one person had to take one for the team. But they didn't go into it doing that. It's just you get in that situation where either you don't feel comfortable saying something. You think everyone's on the same page, you get in a position where you don't think you can say no because you're going to ruin the fun for everyone. We've all been there. It happens. And one person felt crappy because of it.
And that person needed to process all of that that and our experience with couple number two could have turned out that way with me not having as much participation right miraculously it didn't right but we totally empathize oh yeah we got it and we messaged them back and said oh absolutely we're not going to bombard you let us know yep when you're you know ready to rejoin the the group and carry on conversation where we we will happily wait for you absolutely i i honor and respect the space and thank you for being so open and honest with us and explaining and go go take care of you and light love and happiness all that stuff yeah and we did we gave them their space uh three weeks or so later they got back into the the message they sent us a message and we will be heading to see them next weekend here we go reno and and that should also be a lot of fun Thank you.
heading to see them next weekend here we go reno and and that should also be a lot of fun but once again expectations we should temper them and we're gonna have a backup plan yeah because you never know things happen so yes so that leads into the backup plan the backup plan we didn't we plan. We honestly didn't follow our own protocol. I got all caught up in it. We did. And it's hard not to, right? Because we thought we had it planned. We did. It was like, look, we've checked everything. We've got a list. We've got people. We've had the meet and greet. We've had this.
We've had the communication. This isn't a new couple. These aren't new people. One was new. One was not. And then, you know, stuff happens. So anyway, so. A sure thing is not a sure thing. Right. It's difficult to predict. In fact, we've pretty much found, unless you're balls deep in it, it's not a thing. Right. It's either happened or it probably isn't a thing. Right.
Here's why we sail on Virgin.'s adults only no kids screaming at breakfast no family buffet lines just champagne at noon late night pool parties and people who actually want to be there the vibe think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how to have fun, let's just say Virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous. No wonder Breadruisers here, just your people. So, yeah, try to keep all your plans open.
Like Ed had expressed in the previous new year, we had a lot of offers. And so we kept everything open because we honestly didn't know what was going to happen where. We didn't know who all was going to be there. Right. We didn't know how the dynamic was going to work. And so we just went to everything. We did. We were just like, oh, let's go. Let's try it out. We've never been. We went to every buffet. And that's what we did. And we did. And we spent time.
And we we had a good time and then we moved on to the next one and it worked out and you just you just have to be gracious with your communication and you know if you're planning something you i say invite everyone just invite everyone and tell them hey you know we have a potential group theme going. Here's our room number. Come. No expectations because you know how these things go. A lot of people can show up. Very little people can show up. So if you want to come, great. If not, then, I mean, just text us. Here's our number. Here's our kick, whatever.
And so either people are going to be comfortable showing up or not. Yeah.
just and it's either going to be two couples or just you and your partner yeah or it's going to be an orgy of eight people yes oh my god which you know we've seen all of those things happen it just you know it just happens yeah then the second thing is pay attention to clues don't let your excitement with the conversation overshadow some actions or non-verbal communication that you may or may not be picking up hopefully you're you're picking that up pay close attention to how your new couple treats other people including their partner and those in the service industry.
This will dictate how your potential play partners will respect your body and your wishes. Right. These are watching their interactions with other people give you clues as to how they're going to potentially interact with you. Exactly. The third thing we want to talk about is emotions or what a lot of people like to call drama in the lifestyle. And I really don't like that word. It has a very negative connotation, I think.
And it's a loaded word like it doesn't mean what a lot of people think it means no everyone says oh there's so much drama well what does that mean you know and a lot of times what people are talking about is it's honestly it's just normal it's other people having emotions they're either not on the same page and there's some sort of discord come going on between that couple which happens right and it's random it's normal and the second thing is there can be emotions that crop up that you didn't know were gonna occur something someone said that just triggered an emotion that you weren't expecting to happen or something you saw i mean you don't know what you don't know you think it's a great idea and you're like yeah i want to give this a try and then you go into it and you go oh wow that that kind of triggered something i didn't expect that right so you know that's normal it's something you want to process you want to process with your partner and i wouldn't call that drama i just call it normal and you know hopefully you're with a couple that can can communicate that to you and go hey you know i kind of had a bad reaction to this it's not anything that you've done but I think I need to step away and process this so swinging is not unemotional you know you've got hormones and adrenaline going and it masks a lot in that moment and then you you've got other things that are may need to be addressed you know because of all that so typically you know you discuss all this stuff after playtime right and um you know we we ran into a lot of that in the beginning there was a lot of information to process in the beginning.
There was a lot of information to process in the beginning, a lot. And a lot of experiences to kind of think through and reconcile with what you're feeling versus what you are thinking because those things aren't always lined up. And, you know, a lot of couples will have these spontaneous experiences that they'll have to figure out. And I think part of the drama aspect in it is how couples handle that in the moment. And it's okay to just bow out and go have a conversation about it. Sure. And I think that the dramatic portion of this is when people don't necessarily handle it very well.
And they have an incident in the middle of something. An incident. Yeah, it usually is where a situation gets uncomfortable. someone is treated badly or disrespected or embarrassed in some way yeah and i would call that more drama you know it's just someone not able to to handle it but you know even that's so unusual though most of the stuff that we see and this is why we kind kind of started with the emotions and the context where it's like, whoa, I wasn't expecting that. Something took me by surprise, and now I have to process it with my partner. Please excuse us. That's not drama.
right but even then you know like i just i don't know i have a more i do know i don't know why i say i don't know i do know I have a more, I do know. I don't know why I say I don't know. I do know. I have a more empathetic approach towards people. I mean, it's a lot to process. And, you know, you can't expect you to always behave perfectly when something crops up. You may not.
react the same way every time because things will hit you a different way or make you feel a different way because of the circumstance or the way it was said or who said it right so i i i always give people the benefit of the doubt there's absolutely i never know really what's going on in in their shoes and so i can only imagine it's it's a bit challenging and i you know i'm empathetic to that yeah and and we we get it we went through our early years with lots of questions and lots of processing and so you, you know, hey, it's to be expected that people are going to go through those same things.
But drama is done. Drama is done. All right. So in summary, we all know we want honesty without peering completely into your Johari window. You can be honest without revealing all. So people think this is a risk to reveal honesty so as to not repel the other couple. But in fact, it humanizes you and equalizes us. It's something not everyone talks about openly, but it helps one another respect the boundaries and stay connected without excommunicating one another. As you know, having repeatable sexy friends is hard to find. So keep it open if you can.
Thank you, everyone, for joining us again for this episode. Please continue to write and rate us on iTunes. Check out our Instagram if you want to see that amazing dress. Yes. And. What's our Instagram now? Swing You Podcast. Because they blocked Swinger University.
Yeah, we the the ban hammer on instagram and shut us down we we have still don't not figured it out because we did we haven't posted anything that's even remotely i know i mean it's sexy but there's like there's new yoga and nude all kinds of stuff on there and i don't we don't get it but swing you podcast on instagram we have a website swingeruniversity.com and you're listening to our podcast and we'd love for you to continue listening to our podcast so write us rate us and have a fucking good New Year. Yes.
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