Want to send us a message? The benefits of kissing…not only is it good for your health, increase connection with your partner, kick things off in the bedroom, it may also help you pick your next swing partner! We cover fun facts, why people kiss and 5 kissing techniques.SHOW NOTESFun FactsHealth AspectsTechniquesReasons We KissBook: The Art of Kissing by William CaneInterview: NPR with William Cane and Alex Chadwick where William talks about the Liposuction Kiss. https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1484903Bonus! Here are the results of our kissing survey: Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. You're listening to Swinger university with ed and phoebe bringing you sexy lessons for sexy fun here are your hosts ed and phoebe Oh. Oh, hi. Are we recording? Oh, yeah. We recorded that. Oh. Well, hello. This is Phoebe, and this is Ed, bringing you another sexy lesson.
This time, we decided to discuss the benefits of kissing and why it is so important. We'd like to think of kissing as a dance, an equal partnership where one leads and one follows. But you know what? I think it was best described by Michael Christian as an art and craft. Fun facts about kissing. We'll start with some fun stuff because kissing is all about fun.
90 of the world's population kisses now is that 90 of people population or is this 90 of all creatures oh people people all right just checking yeah some people don't because of it's a it's a cultural thing almost a religious thing i i didn't dive real deep into it but it's um has something to do with you know your spirit you you don't want to kiss or like a photograph right remember how people used to be afraid of photographs because it was steal your spirit Thank you.
something to do with you know your spirit you you don't want to kiss or like a photograph right remember how people used to be afraid of photographs because it was steal your spirit wow right yeah so in order to preserve fascinating right never heard of that yes but i'm glad i don't live in that culture because I really like kissing me too one of three I don't believe that because I really like kissing. Me too. One of three people kiss with eyes open. Now, I go either way, at least with kissing. Yeah, me too. Sometimes I like my eyes closed. Sometimes I like to watch.
Sometimes I'm kissing someone and looking someplace else like the other bed to see what's going on right so i have my reasons for opening my eyes and part of that was that it's so close that most people can't focus, so the automatic response is just close the eyes. It's pretty hard for me to see that close. Now it is. It's really hard for me to see that close now. Stupid glasses. I know.
interestingly enough french kiss or french kissing was introduced into the english vocabulary in 1923 and oddly enough it was actually a an ethnic slur against the french culture, because they were overly sexual. Ugh. How terrible. How terrible, yeah. I know. I don't get it. But anyway, there you go. There you go. Overly sexual French. Yep. Lips have one of the thinnest layers of skin on the body with over one million nerve endings. So very thin skin and lots of nerve endings, which means you can feel everything through your lips. Yeah.
Which is probably why kissing and suckling and nibbling with your lips feels so good yes and before we get into the health aspects i did want to say we're basically calling ourselves out in this episode by i don't know if that's the right term we we were not fully understanding why some individuals were not great kissers especially if they had been with their partner for 20 years or more and that bothered me when i had said that and then it bothered me that i couldn't figure out why and then it dawned on me well if you've had the same dance partner for 20 years how would you know if you didn't research it or try new things an experiment then you wouldn't know and some of those many of those people at their high school sweethearts so i get that first time in the lifestyle same partner since high school didn't have a good person to practice with oh but then but what i don't get is you've been in the lifestyle for 20 years and you still haven't had enough practical practice yeah to learn a few extra tricks and And I'm not even talking like grade A, top shelf, quadruple gold star kissing.
I'm just talking, what the fuck was that? I know. I think I just got violated. That kind of kissing. Like, it's wrong. You're not doing this right. Just stop. I know. I know. Thankfully, that experience was fairly unique. We're more forgiving with okay sex than we are with bad kissing. Because everybody's been practicing this since high school like even virgins kiss that's true it's usually the first thing you do yes it's first base i know it doesn't make any drug for all the rest of this stuff it kicks everything everything off. I guess that's, how do you have the fire without the match?
It was a bucket of cold ice water. I'll tell you that much. All right. Okay. Let's get healthy. Let's let's get healthy so kissing does release hormones it releases all that great stuff dopamine serotonin oxytocin which obviously increases your mood it reduces stress because it lowers the cortisol it reduces your blood, dilates your blood vessels, increases blood flow, reduces headaches and cramps. Yes, I said cramps. Increases sexual response. Primes the parasympathetic nervous system. Stimulating your glands. Decreases cavities.
Okay, this is a little weird but it increases the saliva which helps wash away plaque so hey you know which is that parasympathetic response i had to look it up i had to look up what parasympathetic was your salivary glands are part of your parasympathetic system, nervous system. And so kissing kicks off this whole set of chemical reactions in your body, getting everything all juiced up for all kinds of fun stuff. Right, which is why therapists will say to you, one of the techniques I had read about years ago was, you know, a couple goes to therapy, they're really disconnected.
They haven't had sex in a really, really long time. They don't even know where to start because they're so disconnected.
And the therapist, one of the exercises is, she, he will say, say just start kissing but you have to do it for at least oh there's a time limit at least a minute i think it was right at least 60 seconds for things to start kicking in for the hormones to start releasing and then it starts to feel really good it could feel really awkward at first if you haven't kissed your partner in three years it's going to feel really strange to kiss them again but if you just start and you do it for 60 seconds then you're back in the mojo it's like riding a bike yeah right enough, one of those glands that is also stimulated are the mucus glands.
And considering that the vagina and lubrication are basically another mucus membrane, I know for you, kissing you starts to get all kinds of fluids oh yeah i get so turned on so great the other thing that was really interesting which ties right into this i was just reading an article and they were talking about spontaneous sexual stimulation like that sudden urge to just have sex that's always in the movies right like there's no build-up to it just like all of a sudden boom they like it kicks in and they just have to have sex it doesn't work like that this article was saying that it's a process by which, with frequency, you have that sexually stimulated feeling happen, right?
You're urged to have sex. The more sex you have, the more sex you want to have. Yes. sex you want to have yes and so here's an example of kissing on a regular basis keeps the juices flowing not only in the relationship but in your sexual attraction right right and the more sex oh and i'll talk about this in one of my other episodes i don't think i've talked about it yet because I'm doing research on several other ones, but they talked about the importance of the vaginal health and having sex well into menopause.
And the reasons for that is it keeps the vagina lubricated, keeps the muscles intact, keeping them from atrophying right keeps the the vagina from actually shrinking so it which can result in painful sex etc right not shrinking in like so like anything you know if you stop walking stop exercising eventually your body starts to stiffen up things starts to atrophy you don't have frequency of more sex that's what all the experts are saying kiss more and have more sex that's right how are we supposed to do that this whole social distancing thing well we just have to kiss each a lot more. Oh, okay.
And have more sex. Okay. Like the last few days? Yes. Exactly like the last few days. Speaking of the last few days, it burns calories. You burned a lot. I've been getting my cardio in. Yeah, you did much 8 to 10 calories per smooch now you're not going to get a habit burger burned off by kissing that's a lot of kissing and a lot of chapstick to keep that amount of kissing going but you know it's like a step, you know? Right. You got to get your 10,000 steps in. You got to get your... That's what we need. We need... A kissing app?
An Apple Watch app that will track how many kissing calories you've burned. That's what I want to know. I don't care about steps. I want to know about pound calories all right all right oh my gosh it'll tone your face facial muscles and it actually improves your immunity by exchanging friendly bacteria and increases our ability to fight off harmful bugs. Okay, can we talk about October for a second? Oh my God, yeah. I've been waiting for this.
We were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're going to have to do.
Oh i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and their sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room, Michelin rated restaurants, full spa, clothing optional, sensual playrooms, like everything, theme nights and international DJ. So it's luxury and nudity? Oh man, this is going to be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples. And like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular.
So please come with us.
And in order to find it, all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us it also is a self-esteem booster oh yeah it gives you those those hormones that get released those oxytocin and serotonin and dopamine hormones make you feel loved and connected so it boosts your self-esteem yes not to mention the fact that your partner's making out with you heavily or because this is a swinging podcast whichever partner you're with if you're kissing somebody else that's a pretty big boost to your self-esteem oh yeah yeah super fun all right let's talk about techniques do we want to tease them a little more and put the techniques last and talk about why we kiss we could push the technique off just a little bit.
Yeah, we're going to tease you guys. Instead of giving you some tricks, we're going to save the tricks for the end. Tricks! So, we talked about oxytocin levels a little bit. Attachments created through those oxytocin levels you're more connected it is an excellent barometer for sexual compatibility which is very important for swinging we often refer to it as the swinging measuring stick well or at at least the trial run before or the dress rehearsal oh yeah dress rehearsal the main act yeah I mean it's like an interview it hasn't never failed failed us. So, y'all, get your kiss on.
If you can kiss well, we suspect other things will also go very well. Not necessarily. But there's been a pretty strong correlation between the two. Yeah, yeah. And all kinds of animals, mammals, birds do it. Kissing. Such as people. Yeah. So Ella Fitzgerald's song. Beers, birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Do. It's true. Yeah. We're not the only ones. Lots of animals kiss. We are just other kinds of animals.
It helps you assess suitability, which know we already touched on and it is actually a biochemical thing so i'm gonna reference another song maroon five song animals maybe you think that you can hide i can smell your scent for miles just like animals animals like animals pheromones yes right we actually have the ability to identify an evolutionary advantageous partner according to the professor of immunology at Roehampton University, Mr. Fulvio D'Acquisito. I'm so glad you said that because I know I was going to screw that up. You said that very well. You're very good with languages.
Three years of French, I'm a cunning linguist I love when you I love anyone talking a different language to me it's just so sexy I could roll off French limericks and you would be... Alright, you need to do that when we're in bed next time. Alright. I've got a few limericks. Just don't say, Yo quiero Taco Bell. No. Not commercials. Dr. Sarah Johns, an expert in human reproduction and evolutionary psychology at the University of Kent, states that we have the ability to detect a different immune response in someone else by kissing, therefore making them more attractive.
because coming from an evolutionary standpoint this is really important since any potential offspring will be better equipped to fight infectious disease and therefore survival of the species dun hence maroon 5 sniffing you out ba ba ba yeah it all comes down to biology Hence Maroon 5 sniffing you out. Ba-ba-ba. Yeah. It all comes down to biology, biochemistry. This constant need to reproduce. Yeah. You don't have to produce offspring, but you should try.
I never knew that we had that ability to detect someone else's immunity she stated that basically our olfactory senses sense of smell was shit but kissing we could taste someone's immune strength or response fascinating and that was if it was compatible or attractive and however that all happens in the back of our to know in our monkey brain way back right i would love to know what that study looked like and when the next study is going to be conducted because i volunteer as true all right the last one you have down here is a behavior that's transferred from being an infant.
And I suspect that has to do with breastfeeding and kind of like the oral stimulation that we're all kind of used to. Yeah. I was breastfed. I still love breasts. Clearly, there's a correlation. Must be. I love breasts, too. See? That's the answer. Who doesn't love a big, nice boobie? Titties are the answer to the entire problem right there. Okay. They're always the answer. Love is the answer? No, titties are the answer yes you had made a really fun reference earlier to oh kissing kissing and unleashing all kinds of things yes yeah for me it's more than just the oxytocin and the hormones.
Kissing makes me want to release my pants. Every single time. Every single time. I know. Every time. It's magic. It's magic. They just fall right off. They just fall right off. Bam. Yeah. Thank you.
every time it's magic it's magic they just fall right off fall right off bam yeah or i just wear the kilt and then i don't even have to take them off i know raise the kilt all right everyone techniques y'all want to know some techniques these are some fun techniques these are fun so these are things to try so get out your notepad get your pencil out listen we're gonna take notes first technique yep lip lining trace the tip of your tongue around the curve of lips Especially the thin skin in the corners. Mm-hmm. So do some lip lapse Lip lapse. I like it.
Yeah, I like to lip lap something else with my lips There you go because it feels really good it it does feel really good okay back to kissing uh gentle twirl slide the tongue inside and twirl it around slowly, allowing lips to passionately engulf your partner's lips. Men, of course, tend to prefer deeper, wetter kissing. I don't know why I said, of course. I like it the same. Oh, I like it deep and wet. But you do. I have noticed that. Oh. Mm-hmm. So many ways do I like it deep and wet. But you do. I have noticed that. So many ways do I like it. Here's why we sail on Virgin. It's adults only.
No kids screaming at breakfast. No family buffet lines. Just champagne at noon. Late night pool, and people who actually want to be there. The vibe? Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how to have fun let's just say virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous no wonder bread cruisers here just your people and you'll start kissing me deep and wet, which turns me on. And then I start kissing you deep and wet. So it's like that dance.
We'll take a short recess and pause this. You won't notice because I'll edit this out, but we're going to take a little break. All right. With the energy kiss. Uh-huh. Rest your tongue inside your partner's mouth without moving while pressing your lips passionately into your lover's lips and breathe through your nose. So this is kind of a tantric kiss. Uh-huh. Very little movement. Right.
Just closeness and pressing pressing we kind of do that when we're having sex it's like this mouth connection yeah almost a kiss but everything's multi-connected kind of penetrative kissing and other things yes sweet spot the space between your upper lips and teeth it's very sensitive it's basically like the frenulum of the penis slide your tongue inside and twirl it teasing around the shallow space between your upper lips and teeth then move on to some deep french kissing this this is the running your hands up under the bra style of kissing, right?
This is feeling around before you get to the real thing. I love your visual over there. Oh, I'm picturing the whole thing. Like, I am.
okay this this next one this isn't it oh sorry this is a commentary on me right now and this whole covid not doing enough like personal grooming thing i see why phoebe threw this in here this is this is her this is passive aggressive i'm telling you right now no it's not naked lips naked i do i do love my naked try kissing with no facial hair now i go between shaving and and growing a bit of a mustache goatee kind of a thing but and and i feel this too and that's kissing with having a mustache it's it's not as good i can't get in there i feel like there's something in the way there's like a caterpillar stuck between us yeah and i in a couple different ways I prefer to be shaved because I can get into it more.
I'm not talking about kissing. Well, I am kissing. I'm just not talking about lips. I mean, I am talking about lips. Wait a second. It's better if it's trimmed close to the skin, away from the lip. However, even with that little bit of a layer, you don't get that skin-on-skin contact. There's always something kind of in the way. Right. Unless you shave your mustache, like Hitler, or who is it who wears a super tiny little thin stripe above I don't know. I don I mean, I like facial hair. I like the look of it. I do. I do too.
But it kind of gets in the way and if you're gonna have facial hair trim it yes you can actually trim it above the lip so that it's without looking too strange yeah right but even though it's above the lip without looking strange it's still still in the way. But it's better. That's because we use our entire faces when we're kissing, honey. It's not just lips. I mean, we're like deep into it. Yeah, that was true the other day yeah you had i was i rubbed my whole face in it i think you had a but we're talking about kissing so i think we straight off topic again sorry but yes still, yes, yes.
So, I mean, I like a little hair. I do. I like a little hair, too. But I... I do prefer a naked lip. Just like the ladies. A little trimmed. Yeah. well manicured. Yeah. It's all good. It's all good. But try shaving it too. At least in the active areas. But what's fun about going from a mustache to no mustache or beard to no beard, it's kind of like, uh, ladies, when you've got long nails and you can't have nails anymore because of COVID and you're, and you're like, Oh my God, I can feel my, the tips of my fingers. Holy crap.
So there's all those sensory nerves on that skin that you couldn't feel before. because your nails were too you've got more skin in contact exactly so it's fun i will periodically before even before i had big nails um i'd grow out my natural nails and then i cut them back and i always loved that because it was like oh new sensation new sensation. I can feel things. Touchy, feely. Yeah, it's kind of fun. I like it. Okay, well, Ed, oh my goodness. Oh, we've got a great reference for you. So I was doing the research and I came across this guy, William Cain, which I talked about earlier.
He wrote a book called The Art of Kissing. I don about earlier. He wrote a book called The Art of Kissing. Apparently, his life changed overnight. And he wrote this in 1991. And I was like... That was a long time ago. Right? Even for me. Yeah.
And so what's fascinating to me is I'm like, oh, yeah, of knows how to kiss apparently not apparently not he writes this book he's an english professor yada he decides to write this book he had no idea life changes overnight he's overnight success yeah speaking across country at all the colleges then he moves on to tv radio around the world to help people kiss more than a hundred radio and tv programs and a spokesperson for nivia listerine crest others you can listen to his interview on npr It's a little five minute snippet it'll be worth your time he also um what's his his other name he goes by william kane the art of kissing is by william kane but he's that's his pen name but he's michael christian um so it's fascinating it was fascinating to me to learn about him and the fact that his book took off because so many people were so interested in learning in learning how to kiss and i it floored me i had i had no idea i take it for granted i do too apparently i was either practicing for a long time or was a natural or whatever but it it's i've never had any complaints of course every guy that ever utters those words is probably not that good in bed.
But I've gotten compliments about my ability to kiss. But we've experienced enough mishaps, I'll use that word, to know that this book is needed by a lot of people. Just carry a few around with us and pass them out for free. We'll carry it in our go bag. Tonight is a no. But here you go. Study up. Give us a call after you've read the book and practiced what does J-Lo said what's their world of dance when they're like they don't get a yes but they get a callback callback it's a callback here's a book it's not a hard no it's a callback do homework. A little research. A little field study. Yeah.
Yeah. Some practical hands-on. Oh, my goodness. So fun. This episode was fun. Kissing is a fun thing. Yeah. I'll put his information in the references, and you can go listen. It'll be in the show notes for sure yes yes fascinating guy i actually should get his book i haven't read it i have not either i know i need to i think i will all right all right so do what feels good. Enjoy it. Pick up techniques from others. Maybe use it as a gauge for how good your interaction will be with your new plate partner.
The important thing is to feel and listen and learn from the cues that your partner is giving you this goes way beyond kissing yeah look at what they're doing giving you non-verbal signals right if you're kissing right they're going to respond respond in a really good way. If they're pulling back, well then. Or wincing and crying in pain. Try something else. Just do it gently. Be observant. Ask questions. It's not offensive to say, do you like this? How about that? You know, most people are honest.
And if they can't say, a woman will always go, like if a woman doesn't want to say that she doesn't like it, to protect the man's feelings, and if he asks her and she goes then you know that's probably not the best but most likely she will verbalize if she really likes it do you like if she can verbalize true yeah true there's been a lot of that in the last couple days too yeah true sounds help good sounds i've been demanding that you tell me i know i know i love that i just never know exactly what you want to hear oh you know exactly what i want to hear and on that note go out and kiss some people.
Yes. Get good at kissing. Yes. Do some practice. You're isolated. You're at home. You got nothing better to do but kiss each other. Absolutely. Well, other things. But, hey, it's practice time. Ding, ding. Thanks for listening. Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review. I am the first to admit that it's much easier to give a five-star rating, which we appreciate, but if you could take 43 seconds to type a review, we would love it.
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